John Stalvern the zombie: Be killed by demons

[Kujakuseki01]

I wish my radio crackered. :(

[Ptook]

This will never be not funny

[DarkApostleMatt]

I never laughed so hard

[LoewenPforte]

Masterpiece!

Screw Shakespeare and those other phonies.

[jacksflyingmonkey1]

is it possible to get the guitar track? i've been trying to seperate the guitar from the vocals and i'm failing miserably at the moment. can you please help?

[technicallyabsurd]

I saw this once when it first came out. How does it not have at least a million views by now?

[danish211]

i will fight the god of war said kratos

no kratos said Athena you are the god of war

then kratos was the god of war.

[meegamoze]

lol this is my ringtone

[TheFreemanVids]

MEGA MAID!

[Trazen4]

I like to view this as a backstory for the first Zombie Man.

[cmchfx]

"No I must kill the Jews" the girl shouted

The hitler said "no girl, you are the Jews"

And then the girl was Anne Frank

[SunflashTehMace]

"No I must kill the darkspawn!" The Grey Warden shouted.

The archdemon said "No Grey Warden, you are the darkspawn."

And then the Warden was a broodmother.

[ZzZo6JIuH]

"No! I must kill the mutants!" Vault Dweller shouted.

The Master said "No, Dweller. You are the mutants!".

And then Vault Dweller was a ghoul.

[MochiChina]

"No! I must kill the demons!" Stocking shouted

The Gainax said "No, Stocking. You are the demons."

And then Gainax was a troll.

[ChucumiauROOLz]

"No! i must kill the locust" Marcus Shouted

The radio said "no,Marcus. You are the locust"

And then Marcus was a grub.

[Awsomeninja55]

54 people refuse to believe they will be killed by demons.

[1DarkMasK1]

Anarkin Skywalker: "No I must destroy the sith"

Radio: "No Anarkin you are the sith"

"And then Anarkin became a Darth Vader"

[didzydang]

@1DarkMasK1 Anarkin?



[1DarkMasK1]

@didzydang

Anarkin Skywalker (darh vander) from star wars who was at first jedi and was fighting the siths and then later became the most powerful sith.

[1DarkMasK1]

@didzydang

Anarkin Skywalker (darh vander) from star wars who was at first jedi and was fighting the siths and then later became the most powerful sith.

[didzydang]

@1DarkMasK1 Are you sure you're not talking about Anakin Skywalker?

[1DarkMasK1]

@didzydang

Yeah sry.

[didzydang]

@1DarkMasK1 It's cool.

[1DarkMasK1]

@didzydang

Anarkin Skywalker (darh vander) from star wars who was at first jedi and was fighting the siths and then later became the most powerful sith.

[THIRDSHOCKARMY]

wait .......who was phone

[SCRuner5h]

No John, you are phone.

[dna610]

htt p://ww w.newgrounds.c om/portal/view/556109

[DDofCourage]

Why doesn't this have more views?

[xIBrUtALiTyI]

666th comment 420 lol

[SirConnorSmith]

Sounds like an M. Night. Shyamalan movie.

[thelastmartin01]

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUR *zombificated*

[CernelJoson]

This is Joson

[ownagizerbunny]

THERE NEEDS TO BE GUITAR TABS FOR THIS HERE SONG

[Kazisho]

Madoka Kaname waited... The lights above her blinked and sparked out of the air. There were witches in the city. She didn't see them, but had expected them now for days. The warnings from Homura Akemi were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway. Madoka was an ordinary girl for fourteen years. When Kyubey wanted to make a contract with her, she said to Homura "I want to be Meguca, Homura."

Homura said "No! You will BE KILL BY WITCHES"

[Kazisho]

There was a time when she believed her. Then as she lost her friends, she stopped. But now in the darkened city she knew there were witches.

"This is Kyubey" the voice cracked. "You must fight the witches!"

So Madoka gotted her bow and blew up the wall.

"SHE GOING TO KILL US" said the witches

[Kazisho]

"I will shoot at her" said the Walpurgis Night and she fired the giant buildings. Madoka plasmaed at her and tried to blew her up. But then the district blew and they were trapped and not able to kill.

"No! I must kill the witches" she shouted

Kyubey said "No, Madoka. You are the witches."

And then Madoka was God.

[BrendonSmall456]

this ballad to the cruel ironies of war touched my heart 

[kavinheartsbabez]

54 people are demons....ha

[Hernan912]

DAT PLOT TWIST

[Kazisho]

Spike waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were zombie ponies in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Applejack were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.

Spike was a dragon now for four years. When he was young he watched the ponies fight and he said to Twilight Sparkle "I want to help you, Twilight."

Twilight said "No! You will BE KILL BY ZOMBIE PONIES".

[Kazisho]

There was a time when he believed her. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the Everfree Forest he knew there were zombie ponies.

"This is Rarity" the radio crackered. "You must fight the zombie ponies!"

So Spike gotted his palsma sword and blew up the wall.

"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the zombie ponies.

[Kazisho]

"I will bite him" said the Diamond Dog and he fired the stone catapult. Spike plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.

"No! I must kill the zombie ponies" he shouted

The radio said "No, Spike. You are the ponies"

And then Spike was a pony.

[awesomdor]

This is going on my Ipod.

[IanROX22]

1:45 that's seriously what I think of now when I hear the word demon. It has been ever since I saw this 4 years ago :O

[Threeballer97]

"I'm gonna make some lemonade."

"No you will be KILL BY LEMONS."

[TheCrimsonRooster]

How much helium did this dude have to huff to produce such vocals?

[Horticultural1]

@TheCrimsonRooster he probably did it in his real voice then used some program to modify it.

[TheCrimsonRooster]

@Horticultural1

That can't be it. As good as it turned out, you can hear that the entire thing was recorded on one mic and not edited at all; you can hear the dude scrambling to cut the mic off as he finishes the song.

[Horticultural1]

@TheCrimsonRooster Are you sure that they didn't just forget to edit that part out? I don't know much about this stuff though so you're probably right. Either way, it's pretty remarkable, isn't it?

[Threeballer97]

The Plan 9 of stories, so terrible it is beautiful... :'D

[ViperKirby]

press 4 to BE KILL BY DEMONS

[gojiba]

53 people were the demons, and now they are zombies

[4950393058]

FUCK YES LET'S FUCKING DO IIIIIIIIIT

[Glidertwin]

CNUEO

[Kazisho]

It's so beautiful.

[ThereAlsoMeGuy1991]

For those of you who want the MP3, the song is called "Be Kill By Demons" from Dungeons of dorks

[shauncFs]

What is this,I don't even....

THIS WAS PROBABLY THE BEST THING I EVER SAW! Made my entire week *..*

[TheJoeyTaylor]

Disturbingly similar to Coheed and Cambria.

[TheBlownAmp]

i plasmaed my pants when i heard that... XD

[jslcapital78]

It's not that different from Shakespeare -- an unfamiliar prose style with killer one liners.

"No, John. You are the demons"

[stalwartarjuna]

@jslcapital78 - This makes more sense than it should.

[DMJR13]

threebrain?

[halffish2006]

at 1:00, the dad looks a bit like homer simpson at the back, with long head and similar hair style XD

[ReaperFury64]

I really am tempted to take this story and make it decent/legible.

Nah.

[MasterTubaman]

So beautiful, and 51 Demons did not like this vid.

[GurgleOneSixSix]

2:35 hidden zombie arm-penis!

[kotor26]

What a Tweest

[twolotch]

I wonder if the original author's intent was to make his/her fan fiction this crappy XD

[Hahren]

@twolotch fiction? this is a true story

[twolotch]

@Hahren ROFL

[LaughingLlama]

cool there are 1337 likes

[SomaAkaruz]

1337 people think this is epic YAYAYAYAYA

[sh1tpickle]

@QKagome101 your user name is kagome,you had it coming

[DiscordChaos]

This song should be called "The Ballad of John Stalvern."

[vaecrius]

this is like the Johnny Cash cover of Hurt of bad fanfic. ;_;

[AskG0d]

51 People are the Demons.

[AskG0d]

LOL This is the worst thing to happen to the English language since Texting! AND I LOVE IT!

[336forlife]

Be KEELED BAH DEMONS

[smithsonik93]

There will never be another ballad this epic.

[drkboi69]

John Stalvern looked around, there was nothing but the lights on the ceiling, which occasionally gave off sparks, he knew that there were demons ahead, he had known for years. He tried to warn Cernel Jonson but the warnings went unheeded. He looked back to when he was a young boy, he was told by his dad to not fight in the war. He got a message to kill all the demons, so he did. As he confronts the archdemon, it blew up the ceiling and John was trapped under the debris, then John was a zombie.

[RDBlade]

And then he catch the feesh. But the feesh, she too big, and no feet on boat.

[samnichols26]

John has plasmaed his way into my very soul.

[zherui]

@samnichols26 that's what she said

[goqgar]

If ever a modern masterpiece there was...

[Br0therD0ll]

The voice is SO nice ;)

[JosephGubbels]

I heard a rumor that Peter Chimaera was nominated for an emmy

[msndokaralho]

The most touching part is finding that John, even tough zombified, struggled to kill all the demons despite he being one of them. This history is deep, and the plot is so well covered, that this deserves a Nobel Prize of Literature.

[RainbowStalin69]

This video cured my cancer.

[BertrandArne]

unbelievable.

[sqwrrlta31stest]

Dude, thanks to this video, there is plasmae in my pants.

[12345combination]

This tale seems to caution against the overuse of technology. The demons are easily overmatched by John when he arms himself with a directed energy weapon(palsma rifle). Given that his weapon discarge caused the ceiling to collapse and trap him, it is implied that he is undone by his own power. This is further emphasized by the Joson's determination that John is also "the demons". Referring to John as a plural implies that through technology he more dangerous than all the demons put together.

[TheWorldOfKyle]

I want to be on the ships daddy. XD

[SecronGlitch]

@TheWorldOfKyle  No! You will be kill by demons!

[DragonDeathMage]

1:36 LOL the radio crackered

2:00 haha John plasmaed at him

2:28 - 2:39 Than the radio said "No John you are the demons!" And then John was a zombie.

[Seraphim98989]

This was great

[WingZero1828]

0:00 - 2:42.

Best part of the story.

[DarthYoungling]

This was really beautiful. I teared up when his daddy said he couldn't fight the demons! And then the END!!! Oh John. Your daddy would be crying.q

[OMGWTFBBQCHICKENS]

LOL 1:45

[Devaria]

Anyone know of a place to download this fantastic piece of lyrical and musical genius?

[YottaSidedDice]

No, John. You are the demons

nyoro~n

[VeryAngryCamel]

Peter Chimeara. He's still on fanfiction bitchez! Look him up XD

This song is AMAZING.

[Yhokoable]

it was such a moving tale

[TheZannmaster]

/slow clap

well done

[SlashPrower34]

What a beautiful song to accompany this moving tale of despair, determination, and loss. The amazing plot twist when the radio said that John, in fact, was the demons was made even more heart-wrenching by this amazing piece of music.

5/5

[Buskie1]

Y'know that last picture with the thick veiny thing pointing upwards? Yeah, that's not his arm.

[Larrylarp]

I'm getting oldered too. AND THEN I WAS A ZOMBIE

[crystalwolfberri]

XD hilarious, yet quite sad too. :) thanks for the upload, love it!

[NeverevenStudios]

ಥ_ಥ

[MonoxianDarkness]

my

god.

beautiful.

[SoylentGreeeen]

SO DEEP. ;_;

[ILIKECEREALX]

lol mega maid

[Samouflage]

"And then John was a zombie"

[Scriptophobic]

Best song. Ever.

[DeadFishTacoStand]

this is joson, the radio crackered!

you must fight the demons, so john got his plaaasma rifle, and blew up the waaaallll

best part ever XD

also, "i will shoot at him", said the cyber demon and he fired the rocket missile...

[Anononononononymous]

WHAT A TWEEST.

[PitAngelico]

"I MUST KILL THE DEMONS"

"No, John. You are the demons"

Epic plot twist, 5/5 story :P

[ducksgomooful]

@PitAngelico and then John was a Zombie.

[zherui]

i wonder who had the time to draw all these things. awesomeness

[T3hbassmasta]

@SpamSpammity, Get your own dick out of your mouth and stop being a troll.

[schizma111]

and now it was too late... far too late for now anyway

far too late for now...

anyway

;_;

[fluffsies1]

Hilarious.

[Xetnal]

You are god dude!

[gema9923]

I will shoot at him

[chromeblack]

HE IS GOING TO KILL US

[t0biwan]

huur duur bad spelling

its parody, the bad spelling is intentional

[beadden]

@t0biwan actuly this is a published shot story spelling mistakes and all it is just being sung

[TheAbominableRedhead]

*claps* Beautiful. *wipes a tear from eye*

[Geoxile]

@decal702 Peter Chimaera is like a pseudonym. The actual writer just parodies things and writes badly on purpose.

[HaterOfHaters]

chords?

[Vagorian]

really? we're arguing about this, i dont doubt that some dumb kid had this bad of grammar...i mean come in its the internet, just enjoy the freaking video and the idiocy of it you little brats, no need to prove your point, god

[worldtrekker84]

its not even bad grammar, thats the whole bloody joke. its supposed to be a serious story which is put into humor with bad grammar and horrible plot

[camelapodo]

This is the best version there is.

[DuskFalling]

This is awesome! XD I love this version, but does anyone know where I can find this with the normal pitch?

[omaeboku]

I thought this was awesome

[Trickxareforkids]

The pronounciation of "cernel" is incorrect, it should be prounounced "kernel" as in colonel and not sernel, but otherwise the music was well executed and emphasized the "funny parts" very well.

[MCulpa]

that was almost certainly purposeful, considering that there's no such word as "cernel."

[Trickxareforkids]

I realize that, but the author's intended pronunciation is correct. I'm just saying the right pronunciation could've been used and the line remain funny because the captions still show the spelling error.

[camelapodo]

@Trickxareforkids Um, what?

[Trickxareforkids]

English, learn it.

[camelapodo]

I was simply confused as to your blatant misinterpretation of the usage of the word 'cernel', which, being a fake word, can be pronounced any which way.

[Trickxareforkids]

It's not a fake word, it's a misspelled word. Just because the word was misspelled doesn't neccessarily imply that the original author intended the pronounciation to have changed. In this case it's obvious it should be pronounced "colonel" whether it's misspelled or not.

[camelapodo]

To the contrary my dear sir, the pronunciation is the whole reason that the word was misspelled. It was MEANT to be said as it is sounded out; that's WHY it was spelled as such.

[Trickxareforkids]

That's entirely unreasonable, it's only speculation that the orginal fanfiction author wrote the story as it is on purpose. The interpretation of the fanfiction by the composer of this video is irrelevant to the true intentions of the fanfiction author.

[camelapodo]

"only speculation that the orginal fanfiction author wrote the story as it is on purpose"

Does this mean that you're saying that the author ACCIDENTALLY misspelled colonel in such a noticeable fashion, and that we must presume as such, and pronounce it as the word colonel, instead of cernel?

[Trickxareforkids]

Is it hard to believe someone can have horrible spelling and grammar skills?

[camelapodo]

It's hard to believe that someone writing such a story, using deliberate mistakes throughout, such as "blinked and sparked out of the air" etc., would, in said story make such a juvenile mistake accidentally.

[Trickxareforkids]

Saying the mistakes are deliberate is only speculation. But now you're just putting down people who struggle with spelling, grammar, and choice of wording.

[Cajaquarius]

The sad thing is I can kind of see where the author was going and there was definite potential for this fanfic to be clever, but thanks to poor execution it became so terrible it looped back around to funny.

[mindshk]

Best version EVAR

[LSiwik]

this is awesome!

[mouseymousey02]

Please upload a non-sped-up version, I reckon it would sound awesome!

[TheImmutable]

Disregard that, I suck cocks. Lower pitch, cleaned up version is HERE at mega upload. d=1A90LEAD

Freaking cooledit not saving my files. I need to get some Audacity going.

[hamwitch]

Can i haz mp3?

[Cobra6x6]

I'ts not a song, it's a fanfic that is best described to me by "it's so bad it's great"

that's a nice singing though! and for the story itself, I'll halways remember "No, John. You are the demons."

[APAKane]

Why is the voice sped up so much?