Payment

[FastlaneProductions1]

making people say f**k every other word doesn't make a movie good. Just saying.

[cherrera7]

Fair enough. Try "Stolen" or "Phone"; not only is there no profanity, there's little to no dialogue at all! ;)

[FastlaneProductions1]

Okay I'll watch those.

[bfivel]

6star writting

[cherrera7]

Thanks man!

[badbearwatch]

"You're going to make a joke now,at this time" brilliant!

[cherrera7]

Thanks for watching and I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[k6yardotcom]

Love the ending part. Awesome!

[cherrera7]

Thanks!

[mikeadog]

Brilliant writing in the ending Carlos!

[cherrera7]

Thanks! Pretty much last minute kind of stuff, but I'm glad you liked it!

[noesomhelst]

it's to long for the contest..... but ass nice movie!!!!

[cherrera7]

Thanks! I know the length is an issue, but it's worth a try anyway! :-)

[SimoneCowell1]

fair enough

[SimoneCowell1]

I agree with Kebmann actually... good story, dialogue, plot line, but poor lighting

[cherrera7]

Try NO lighting! Yeah, this and Break were pretty much camera test movies where I tried pushing the low/natural light level abilities. I'm surprised ANY of it managed to show! It's a battle I'm continuing to fight, as to just how little I can get away with. It's an aesthetic choice -- who am I kidding, I'm just lazy.

[7seveng7]

Thank you for your entry. This was obviously a very well done Short-Film, almost professional looking. Please subscribe to the channel so that you officially qualify to for the contest and don't forget to vote so that you make the top 10.

[cherrera7]

Thank you.

[DanielleMulcahy]

oh my god. your amazeing!!! i love this!

[cherrera7]

Thanks, Danielle! I try to tell my friends everyday that I *am* amazing, but they don't want to hear it. Perhaps your comment will give them some undeniable proof. ;-)

[angelgallardo1]

Great video bro.

[cherrera7]

Thanks, Angel!

[Katalyzt]

Hahahahahahahaha! The dialog reminds me of "Clerks" but it's funny though!

Katalyzt

[cherrera7]

Thanks! Hey, I'm all for favorable comparisons to Kevin Smith's films. Hell, I'm so desperate, I'll take unfavorable comparisons! ;-)

[kebmann]

Fucking perfect dialogue! LOL! Great acting too! If only you worked a bit on lighting, it would've been totally PERFECT. Very well told story!

[cherrera7]

Thanks, man. I really appreciate it! Re: the lighting -- this was basically a test for my new camera, so we shot it really fast in one day without lights or reflectors, documentary style. I did a similar thing with Break for night scenes, to see how it would capture low light levels.

[persianpimp730]

i liked it alot...great vid

[cherrera7]

Cool, man, I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for watching!

[jenontheshore]

Wow....this is one of the best things I have seen on youtube. Very creative and genuinely funny. Good job!

[cherrera7]

Thank you so much! You're too kind! I really appreciate you taking the time to watch and comment.

[drakgrotta]

you wanted to see when they started to kill ppl, so you fealt a litel riped of bye the end and stuff.

otherwhise, wery nice,dident like all the gay talk thougt :P

[cherrera7]

I actually shot a scene like that, but I cut it out because the ambient lighting was way too poor (even by my low standards), so I invoked Dogme 95 ;) and deleted it from the final version. Sorry you didn't care for the homophobic humor -- I knew it certainly wouldn't be everybody's cup of tea.

Thanks for watching and commenting! :)

[drakgrotta]

cool :)maybey you culd upload it as extra material or alternetiv ending?

[cherrera7]

I should've been more specific -- it's all raw footage that I never bothered putting together since I didn't like how it looked. Sorry. :(

[drakgrotta]

ah okey :)

[RandomFlicks]

tomato-tomato

"it took you 20 mins to come out of the closet" ahaha

love the connection at the end, too, just good film making is all I can say. and the humor had intelligence, too, which I love.

GREAT JOB

[cherrera7]

Thank you so much. I know myself well enough to know that I'm an idiot, so when someone compliments the (accidental) intelligence of the humor, it really means a lot to me! ;)

[RandomFlicks]

yes yes, very good job

[sainter1]

Yeah very good

[cherrera7]

Thank you much, sainter!

[SadieDammit]

Arrrrgh I'm loving this film and I just got stuck on a line! I can't understand what he says! He's talking on the cell to the mafia guy and he says "I'll f-ing kill you"...and then you whisper something to him and he adds "And your ??". What did he say? What did he say?

[SadieDammit]

Ok never mind I got what he said now. Great film and another fantastic ending! I'm favoriting this.

[cherrera7]

Thank you Sadie!

[SadiesCommentSystem]

Oh P.S-

It's me, SadieDammit :)

[cherrera7]

I read your comment over at VioletKitty's page about this. It's a really good idea that I'm probably going to do as well, because comment limits suck. ;)

[cherrera7]

"And you're gay too." My fault.

I didn't whisper anything to him because I'm not in this piece (or any of them). The guy whispering would be the incredibly handsome and talented Jason Oyama. (He might be reading this.)

[SadiesCommentSystem]

Oh my mistake. Hmm, you'll have to train another cameraperson so you can be featured. You've got me curious now.

[cherrera7]

The closest I ever came to acting in a short was in Break when I came thisclose to playing the girl's part, before coming to my senses. Also, my hands and feet are featured in a couple of movies for extreme close-up inserts. An example of this would be one shot in Twenty Black, where I wore a white t-shirt and put only one side of a jacket on, then I filmed my jacketed arm grabbing my white shirt to give the effect of a man pulling another man aside. Movie magic!

[justinvargas]

"...and you're gay..."

[thetrepanator]

Great vid, the dialogue was killer!

[cherrera7]

Great hearing from you -- many thanks!

[FunnyPranks]

Amazing Work.. One day i hope to be doing stuff like this :)

[cherrera7]

Thanks! One day I hope to be doing stuff like this too. ;)

[undercovermexgirl]

great cuts between POVs and scenes. i like the angle taken from below - reminds me of reservoir dogs, which i consider brilliant. the ironic twist at the end is nice. ferny is such a goofball.

[cherrera7]

Ferny was born in the wrong time -- he would've made a great comedic actor in the silent film era.

[Naztradamix]

That was a good short flick. The dialogue was funny and real. Very good to be shot in one day as I know how that feels. Keep up the good work, from one filmmaker to another.

[cherrera7]

Oh and thanks a lot for the kind words. Having seen your work, it means a lot!

[cherrera7]

So far it's my favorite filmmaking experience, *because* it took one day. The first (and only) draft was written that morning so we never had time to second guess anything, it was great. Just simple straight-up, run-and-gun filming.

The Payment experience. When my next sure-to-be-slow- and-protracted-in-comparison shoot begins in the next couple of weeks I will miss it so.

[loudog304]

I'd like to see them let you have an episode of Entourage.

You should continue to work at it. You could be the next great one.

[cherrera7]

That's very nice of you. I'll have to start watching Entourage now, which should make my friend happy -- he's been going on-and-on about the show and has always tried to get me to watch (but I hardly have time to watch films, let alone television). Thanks!

[LightsaberGuy]

Brilliant movie.. definatley going in my favorites!

[cherrera7]

Awesome! Thank you so much!

[Mellomel]

great short film! I forgot I was even watching it on youtube!!!and not a DVD movie somewhere!

[cherrera7]

That's really nice of you to say that. It actually is a DVD movie somewhere -- a DVD+R in my house!

[Mellomel]

Ha ha ha! Gott ya. I know what you mean. I know the kind of person you are as well....you have always had it in you to produce films as these...and never had a cool way to get it past "your house." Now comes YouTube...and you can put it out there to all of us and the world...whenever you freakin~feel like it! I know you must be living the best days of your "pro~creative" life right about now! I've got that same feelin bro! Now keep'em coming!

[renutto]

lol...that was pretty good man. Nice job.

[cherrera7]

You're a prince, Renutto.

[cherrera7]

Well, Dazzer -- the event of reading this comment has certainly changed *this* man. Cheers!

[PaulSquall]

Not bad. Not bad at all.

[cherrera7]

Thanks! You and 1938superman should get together and discuss videos (check his comment above).

[PaulSquall]

That is very funny. Complete coincidence, and very funny. Lemme give you something else as my "official comment" then.

Liked the dialogue. Wish we could have seen the payoff though.

[cherrera7]

There was a payoff with the bookie scripted, but it was pitch black by the time we were going to shoot it and the ambient light wasn't quite enough for our needs. So I invoked Rule #4 of Dogme 95 and decided not to shoot it. It was really just an excuse to stop. ;)

[PaulSquall]

LOL. Well, if you ever shoot it, lemme know. I think the short was very clever, and I'd love to see what you had planned. :)

[SensualWhirl]

I could comment on the quality of the shots, the pithy script, the chemistry between the two main actors... but no, I love the running gay joke. What can I say? I'm a complete prole. -SW

[cherrera7]

I know what 'pithy' means, and yet it always sounds negative to me every time I see or hear it. I have no idea -- perhaps it's the 'ith' in the middle.

I used to have issues with some of the humor in this piece, until this past weekend when I finished my latest script and realized how much more sophomoric and juvenile and just plain "ewww" it is compared to Payment. I used to think that I was such a prude. I don't know what happened or when.

[bugs091]

You have a great eye for camera angles. You create the illusion of depth on a two-dimensional screen. Excellent work.

[art098993]

cool!

[cherrera7]

I don't know about you, but I spell 'cool', A-R-T-0-9-8-9-9-3. That's just me.

Forgive me, I'm a roll with my lame comments over here.

[godessofrock516]

nice vid

[cherrera7]

Thank you very much, fair Goddess.

[MelissaKnows]

Really cool!

[cherrera7]

Cool comment from a cool girl.

[superloser2180]

This is freaking great!

[cherrera7]

And that is why you should change your name to superwinner2180.

[jimjimblund]

yeah.

[cherrera7]

Is that a good 'yeah' or a bad 'yeah'? Or is that an Office Space 'yeah', like "I'm gonna need you to come in on Saturday, yeahhhhh."? You killing me, Jimjim. Killing. Me.

[jimjimblund]

mmmm such power i get dizzy .

and its a h***y w*^t yeah.

[blackdeath18]

nice video.. thanks for sharing!

[cherrera7]

And thank you very much for putting in the time to watch and comment.

[HansHenke]

Right ON!

[cherrera7]

Hans, thanks a lot for taking the time to watch this sad excuse for a sad excuse.

[bangstun]

good job

[cherrera7]

I'm glad you liked it, but even if you didn't, I certainly would know better than to argue with a guy who could snap me in half like a dry twig. ;)

[BYC]

nice vid.

[cherrera7]

Much appreciated!

[stealthysheep]

lol that was funny=D

[cherrera7]

Funny? It's supposed to be sad! ;)

[lovethechad]

the chad approves.

[cherrera7]

And I approve of The Chad!

[1938superman]

not bad. not bad at all.

[cherrera7]

PaulSquall is trying to steal your thunder. Check his comment below. Thanks!

[1938superman]

lol. Damn copy cat.

[lisasimpson]

Thanks for sending me this video!! Funny, and excellent for being shot all in one day!

[cherrera7]

Thank you for watching!

[getsomefilm]

cool movie. keep it up

[cherrera7]

Thank you. I really like your vids too, left comments.

[JEFFYjackass]

nice vid that was a great clip.

[cherrera7]

Thank you and yes, Jerry Lewis IS the man. Check out Four Rooms -- Quentin Tarantino has a nice spiel on the dude.

[headshotdan]

While I don't care for the subject matter, you have a good piece of work here. Sound was pretty good. Lighting was too dark in some places. Although I suspect shooting time took longer than sunlight. dan

[cherrera7]

I appreciate your constructive criticism. This was essentially a test for the new camera I purchased. A lot of messing around with the iris and low light levels (since I prefer to shoot in natural light). We shot this in one day, so yes, the sun left the set before we did. :)

[ThExUnTiTlEd]

hahah this lil flick was awesome very entertaining

[cherrera7]

And isn't that what this is all about -- entertainment? I certainly hope so, because I don't know what else to do with my life...

[parisblonde]

great vid going off mate.xoxoxoxo

[cherrera7]

Thank you much, now please forgive the following disgusting display (because it's coming from me):

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

[cokchop]

this movie's even better then the other one. you gotta do sumthin major now. what kind of cam did u use?

[cherrera7]

Panasonic DVX-100B.

[dancrew32]

great writing and a awesome short film!

[cherrera7]

thanks!

[SlapaPope]

that was thouroghly entertaining good job

[cherrera7]

Better late than never, but thank you very much from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to watch this and comment. I hope you like the next one!

[awsmlb79]

"Commments mean you have to come up with something clever." -J.Oyama

[cherrera7]

"Take your clever comments and shove them up your arse." -- Sir Winston Churchill