Zombies? LOL - Christopher Hitchens debunks the resurrection of Jesus Christ

[ReasonNaturally]

Utterly laughable.

I don't know how Hitvchens ever kept a straight face while 'debating' these people.

[ZenIsStupid]

Lazarus was only a resuscitation? That's bullshit! And I quote:

John 11:39 - "Jesus said, Take ye away the stone. Martha, the sister of him that WAS DEAD, saith unto him, Lord, by this time HE STINKETH: for he hath been [dead] FOUR DAYS." [Emphasis mine]

How can you be resuscitated when you've been dead for 4 days straight AND stink? That is, to imply that the corpse of Lazarus was decaying and beginning to rot. Apologist FAIL.

[Edbrad]

@ZenIsStupid

-

"Lazarus was only a resuscitation? That's bullshit! "

-

And also makes it entirely non miraculous.

[ZenIsStupid]

@Edbrad - I think apologists like Doug Wilson know that the supernatural and miraculous are laughable, but they're so tied down to an archaic book that they've gotta square the circle regardless of whether it makes sense or not... thus you have people like William Lane Craig and "reasonable faith". Been there, done that.

[wearestarstuffsagan]

he said that jesus never died. so did he raise up to heaven or is he still on earth

[wounduppenguin]

@wearestarstuffsagan The Jesus story in the gospels has Jesus raising bodily into heaven, which makes one wonder did he suffocate and freeze to death once he got to high altitude? did he burn up in the atmosphere? Did he shoot off into space at the speed of light? Is he still (presumably) travelling in space at the speed of light since he can't be more than 2000 odd light years away?

[Rockster969]

@wounduppenguin Ah, maybe he was in a magic jebus space suit and got his dad to step on a corner of the universe thus warping space time and jebus slid down the warp

and came out of a black hole which was his dads bum.

Seemples!

Remember, with mindless bullshit anything is possible

[lewisner]

I know its a bit pedantic but when the guys were raised from the dead en masse how they actually get OUT of their graves? Was it like the graveyard scene in "Thriller"? Did they dig their way up through six feet of earth?

[wounduppenguin]

@lewisner The actual verse reads: "51 At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook, the rocks split 52 and the tombs broke open. The bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life. 53 They came out of the tombs after Jesus’ resurrection and went into the holy city and appeared to many people. " - Matthew 27

I assume the tombs just smashed open, then they hung around for 3 days waiting for the resurrection, who knows?

[lewisner]

@wounduppenguin I guess their eyes needed to adjust to the light? And what happened afterwards? Did they just go back to their graves or find jobs and remarry?

[wounduppenguin]

@lewisner LOL perhaps they did, the gospel makes no further mention of them, I'd like to think they were rehabilitated to life with the living though

[lewisner]

@wounduppenguin There's material for a book here. 

[AscendingParadigm]

Jesus was "resurrected" and everyone else was "resuscitated" out of their graves? How fucking stupid are these believers? Give it the fuck up PLEASE!

[mimosveta]

I'm fairly sure it was probably common place. Those were 'stupid ages' as if they knew when someone is dead. That's why they don't bury ppl for few days, and give them wakes, cause it was common enough for ppl to wake up after they were thought to be dead.

[wounduppenguin]

@mimosveta Yep there were zombies walking around all over the place it seems

[mimosveta]

@wounduppenguin no idea where you got that from. I was merely talking about clinical death from which ppl sometimes managed to come back, even in stupid ages. Nothing to do with craving for fresh brains.

[wounduppenguin]

@mimosveta I'm sorry I misunderstood the English in your message was grammatically incorrect and difficult to understand.

"That's why they don't bury ppl for few days... cause it was common enough for ppl to wake up after they were thought to be dead." no it's not possible to come back from clinical death after a few days not in ancient times and not now.

Resuscitation from clinical death must occur within a few minutes or it results in severe brain damage or death. (cont)

[mimosveta]

@wounduppenguin I didn't say they woke up after few days, I said they are waiting to bury them for few days. It's not my fault if you don't understand english. And as for jewish customs, day or two is still more than few minutes.

[wounduppenguin]

@mimosveta English is my first language, I didn't understand YOUR English because it was garbled broken English. Go back and read it it makes no sense.

You implied in your message that they waited to bury them for a few days "cause it was common enough for ppl to wake up after they were thought to be dead"

No it isn't not then not ever. People can only be resuscitated now because of modern medical understanding. And they [Jews] bury within 24 hours usually NOT a few days.

[mimosveta]

@wounduppenguin it makes perfect sense, you just wanted to be smart ass, and when that failed you lashed against my english. that's lame.

[wounduppenguin]

@mimosveta If you think that makes perfect sense you are an idiot.

I even said sorry for not understanding whatever it was that you was trying to say but clearly you are not gracious enough to accept that nor my correction of your assumption of ancient Jewish burial customs and the time period in which brain death occurs.

And for the record my first message to you was obviously a joke but it seems you haven't got a sense of humor either.

[wounduppenguin]

@mimosveta (cont) "That's why they don't bury ppl for few days"

No, it's Jewish tradition that bodies were buried as soon as possible after death usually within one or two days.

[freakyfadge]

lol, shook

[HeyHeyHarmonicaLuke]

CPR doesn't resuscitate people :) you have to keep going until the ambo's arrive with paddles

[wounduppenguin]

@HeyHeyHarmonicaLuke You'll notice that the first picture I used is a doctor with defibrillator paddles and I said doctors, nurses, EMTs and paramedics, and then I went onto say anybody trained in CPR.

[HeyHeyHarmonicaLuke]

@wounduppenguin k :) good video I was just being picky for fun

[wounduppenguin]

@HeyHeyHarmonicaLuke :)

[yunged]

@HeyHeyHarmonicaLuke CPR stands for 'Cardiopulmonary resuscitation'....

Defibrillators are mostly used to correct an erratic heart rhythm.

[HeyHeyHarmonicaLuke]

@yunged oh it does ay!!

okay I think the point I was making is that CPR wont restart a stopped heart, defibrillators are necessary for that. Accurate?

[simcult]

Who's the music?

[wounduppenguin]

@simcult I've no idea, the clip is from the documentary "Christopher Hitchens vs Douglas Wilson: Collision of lives" I've included a link to it in the info bar you could look it up.

[simcult]

Who's the music?

[99NuttY]

@simcult its russian circles, i dont remember the song title just know. doesn't matter though, they only make good stuff ;)

[jordaniac89]

Regardless of whether or not it was a "resuscitation" or a "resurrection", the point is that NOTHING is said about it, other than it happened.

[wounduppenguin]

@jordaniac89 Well d'uh obviously which makes it all the more an arbitrary distinction to make

[ryantheatheist22]

@jordaniac89 fairy tales

[beanie928]

Will this moronic crap ever end?! It's the 21st Century for crying out loud!

[DickyHertz]

@beanie928 "Will this moronic crap ever end?"

No.

This has been another edition of short answers to simple questions.

[alandonald]

if resurrection were possible, Hitch would be top of my list!

[wounduppenguin]

@alandonald Amen!

[tammyscotland]

@alandonald If anyone could do it it would be him purely out of sheer stubbornness and to prove that point. "Now it's Lazarus, Jesus and me! Now say it's not commonplace."

[wounduppenguin]

@tammyscotland LOL

[MrEmeraldfusion]

You're are willingly ignorant. I was like that to. Walking according to mine own fleshly desire and suppressing any or all knowledge of God. [Isa 47:10]-For thou hast trusted in thy wickedness: thou hast said, None seeth me. Thy wisdom and thy knowledge, it hath perverted thee; and thou hast said in thine heart, I [am], and none else beside me.

[ritchloui]

@MrEmeraldfusion Numbers 15:32-56 The Lord instructed Moses and the congregation to stone to death a man who was caught picking up sticks on the Sabbath.

We can all play the quotes game. How about this: Leviticus 25:45 “Moreover of the children of the strangers that do sojourn among you, of them shall ye buy … and they shall be your possession… they shall be your bondmen forever.”

[MrEmeraldfusion]

@ritchloui -What is your question.

[ritchloui]

@MrEmeraldfusion You selected a quote from the Wholly Babble and I too lifted out a couple of quotes. There is no point cherry picking. If you ascribe to Biblical assertions and proscriptions then you have to accept the bizarre stuff too. When did you last sacrifice a bullock, goat or sheep and sprinkle its blood all over the place?

[MrEmeraldfusion]

@ritchloui -Animals sacrifice is apart of the old covenant the jewish nation, while Christ sacrifice fulfilled the new covenant sacrifice which was once and for all. [Acts 15:5-11]The old covenant sacrifice was a symbol of the ultimate sacrifice of Christ[Hebrews], Christians are giving commandments to follow in the New Testament which are directed towards the church. Read Acts of the Apostles you see the transition for the Old covenant to the New covenant.

[ritchloui]

@MrEmeraldfusion "Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets. I have come not to abolish but to fulfill. Amen, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest part or the smallest part of a letter will pass from the law, until all things have taken place." (Matthew 5:17 NAB)

[MrEmeraldfusion]

@ritchloui -Right, [Col 2:14]-"Blotting out the handwriting of ordinances that was against us, which was contrary to us, and took it out of the way, nailing it to his cross;" The law still remains said Paul for the law is the knowledge of sin...The law was a schoolmaster to bring us to Christ. [Hebrews]The writings of the Prophets remains however, the church is under a new covenant.[Acts 15; Hebrews].

[TheOmegadusk]

@MrEmeraldfusion Which law are you refering to? The law of the land or the law of Caesar back when that was said? Biblical law according to the old and/or new testament? Or is some kind of "heavenly ultimate god's personal belief law?" It is a very important destinction.

[MrEmeraldfusion]

@TheOmegadusk Biblical law according to the old

[TheOmegadusk]

@MrEmeraldfusion Meaning you no offense, I do not know anyone that follows the laws you are refering to. The OT contains many draconian laws such as: no wearing clothing made of more than one material, kill disobedient children, no eating shellfish/pork, kill nonbelievers, women should be obedient to men, and many many more. If you would like to follow the old ways, you will probably end up in jail- but that is your right. I wouldn't expect any sane person to agree with you though.

[MrEmeraldfusion]

@ritchloui -You asked a question so I responded.

[beatonm198]

@MrEmeraldfusion Scripture is as useless to debate the accuracy of your religion as the salesman's word is to the quality of his snake oil.

[wounduppenguin]

@MrEmeraldfusion "flesh..... brains....... gwrrrrrrrrh"

[Vise555]

ZOMBIE JEBUS!

[JaysLogic]

@MrEmeraldfusion How does the sun's path through a constellation leave wounds on fictional characters?

[Christheatheist1]

Hell, I can crack your chest open and massage your heart. I can give CPR, install a tracheotomy and decompress a collapsed lung with a ballpoint ink pen. Does that mean I, as a medical professional am a god?

[wounduppenguin]

@Christheatheist1 Yes. Yes it does.

[Christheatheist1]

@wounduppenguin - LOL

[MrEmeraldfusion]

People who were raised EVENTUALLY died again. Jesus Christ never died again he is resurrected FOREVER in a CELESTIAL BODY apart from his wounds in hands and feet as a sign of his true passion.

[wounduppenguin]

@MrEmeraldfusion Exactly. Jesus was a zombie.

[BBMix]

I am pretty sure this clip is from the Doc/Movie with Hitchens and Douglas Wilson. Check out IMDB dot c o m, for more details.

[wounduppenguin]

@BBMix Link in the info bar

[TheOmegadusk]

I have never seen that clip from Hitchens before (surprising) but I have definitely pointed that out before. All these zombies walking around on the day of the crucifixion, and no one wrote a word about it?!? The Romans didn't record the incident? What amazing nonsense! It's easy to see why people don't mention this "event" when talking about Christianity.

[wounduppenguin]

@TheOmegadusk I've never heard any Christian mention this EVER. Apologists rarely touch it.

[wounduppenguin]

@TheOmegadusk I think one should ask of a Christian: Do you believe in zombies? they'll probably say no. Then rattle off that verse if they say that they *weren't* zombies, then ask them, what is a zombie? lol

[TheOmegadusk]

@wounduppenguin I would advise against "gotcha questions." It only makes someone feel as though they can't trust you and that you are trying to trick them. Logic and reason are not tricks.

[wounduppenguin]

@TheOmegadusk Ok good advice, but I was joking ;)

[TheOmegadusk]

@wounduppenguin Forgive me my friend, it is hard to tell on youtube. :)

[wounduppenguin]

@TheOmegadusk No worries as I said it's good advice anyways.

Also Matthew says that the saints rose at the moment of Jesus' death and then went into the city *after* his resurrection, so what the hell were they doing for three days? LOL

[TheOmegadusk]

@wounduppenguin Catching up with old friends, do a bit of dancing and boozing perhaps? Maybe settle some old scores like The Crow or just go on a brain eating binge? ;)

[wounduppenguin]

@TheOmegadusk Lol I'm gonna vote for the last one. I did a google but I can't find standard Christian apologetics for any of this...

[TheOmegadusk]

@wounduppenguin You probably won't find anyone talking about it beyond the most extreme fringe religious person or of skeptics that are purposefully looking for things to say WTF? Mostly because it is a little crazy and no one really knows what to think of it (for or against) and it doesn't seem to change the main point of the story being that Jesus was martyred or sacrificed to pay a sin debt. *shrug*

[wounduppenguin]

@TheOmegadusk You're probably right, although is it any more or less ridiculous than a talking snake? Who knows lol