"You need a relaxer" a recent natural hair experience

[Aikan009Kurenai]

Your hair will soon speak for itself. Don't mind that brainwashing. Big natural hair is sexy. God got it right, there's nothing to be ashamed about.

[kARENx148]

Ur so pretty! And people need to mind their business I woulda gave her a stank look for not thinking before she spoke.

[CrownJewel32]

I don't understand some people, forreal. Why is it so hard for some folks to keep their opinions to themselves? Honestly, had I been in your shoes, I would have easily said: "Now, why would I want to get a relaxer and end up bald headed like you?" because I know she didn't have any hair. Most chicks who relax their hair don't.

[prettykirsten1]

I like you and your vids . . . but do you have to talk with that gum in your mouth tho ??

[deemo932003]

That was simply her opinion. In my opinion she was entirely incorrect. No one NEEDS a relaxer. Your hair is gorgeous, as are you. I would have done almost exactly what you did except I would have said that no one NEEDS a relaxer. Its a choice. i would have been nicely honest with her. First I would ask her "why" she feels that I need a relaxer then id tell her nicely why I feel I don't and that she is entitled to her opinion but that I didnt ask her for it.

[Ducky888888]

Take this shit out of your nose, it doesnt make justice to you.

[imthebabydracula]

It was very ignorant on her part, so it was pointless to fight, but maybe letting her know that what she said was offensive, because she's going to say that to the wrong person one day.

[AshantiSoFly]

but i would informed her about my hair lol

[AshantiSoFly]

u have my fav birds on ur wall

[drummojb]

I would've been like no thank you i like my hair the way it is and i bet your man would too lol!!! j/k j/k But yea that was ignorant and it really ticks me off when relaxed women with BALD HEADEDNESS try to tell ME about my hair that is natural, healthy, and LONG pfft! fall back

[whiskskyWildchild45]

they claim they are proud to be black and talk about rap and weed but they hate being black they would give their life too be non black most notably white they are brainwashed they are niggers their skin is black but their heart is white soo lose em

[lightshorti]

Also, what to say that over the years I have noticed more naturals coming out more. I go to sallys/black store they are products for naturals. Didn't use to be as much. It wont be long, I think one day relaxers are going to be the minority. We have negative comments about black females not growing hair, or using fake hair to cover our hair. I know Im tired of the comments. So, I think it's great that a lot of black females are making a change and hope we bring it to our children.

[lightshorti]

I know how you feel. I got a couple people saying I need a relaxer. The people who know im natural don't say anything. But ignorant black people don't understand it. They been brainwash...it's something black people been saying for years.."you need a relaxer." Not understanding and loving their hair, because they been train since they were young to use relaxers..to hide the naps. It's negative to them to have nappy hair,kinky, curly, etc. We need more naturals like youtube to change.

[M1st4eva]

I know this is older and the girl may not have meant her comment to be malicious, but that didn't make her comment any less rude. She was rude. As a woman (just as a person), she should know that a part of anyone's body is not for you to comment on, if the person-of-interest didn't ask. We all know it's never ok to tell an overweight person "you need to lose weight" or a lesser attractive woman "you need makeup." I think it's best to educate the ignorant (no need to go off or be rude back).

[PurpleRedKisses]

lol exactly... it wasn't even worth it smh, she probably didnt kno you were natural.. lol typical black girl answer lol smh... you should have told her about her relaxer lol HELP HER OUT :)

[reggie02062]

i love your vid thank you i have been told i need to do something with my head also but i ignore i love my natural hair.. and actually natural hair is lower mantainance really.. and your pretty be happy

[mcoordinator]

We've been taught our hair is UNMANAGEABLE& needs 2 be TAMED.Theres nothing wrong with our hair. It doesnt need 2 be relaxed. It isn’t uptight or tense.WE are the ones with a UNMANAGEABLE mentality. If we STRAIGHTEN out our MINDS & how we view ourselves, our natural hair wont be an issue.We will be accepted when we stop asking permission to be ourselves. We will not be challenged by others 2 change once WE stop challenging ourselves 2 be more like someone else...When we luv ourselves head 2 toe!

[najmaj]

@mcoordinator Amen! Perfectly stated. It's a lack of knowledge and appreciation for OUR culture, and it's not entirely our fault. We've been discriminated against for soooo long, from our hair, our skin, our facial features, our body types, our speech. We've been broken down and even pinned against each other (light vs. dark). The system was set up for us to hate ourselves and each other. Once we are educated on how GREAT we are & always have been. Understanding & appreciation will come.

[mcoordinator]

Within the asian community,eyelid crease surgery has become popular.They do this to appear more european.Many asians condsider it an insult.They dont embrace the idea that their eyelids need 2 b different.We c that the pressures associated with european standards of beauty r bleeding over into the Asian culture as well!When blks spend a LIFETIME chemically damaging their hair 2 acheive an unnatural state of straight tresses..it is self-hate.U can admire someones diff without wishing ur own away!

[mcoordinator]

i would have asked her WHY??when ppl make ignorant comments like that i put the ball in their court to explain THEMSELVES bc i have nothing 2 justify or defend so I politely ask them WHAT they mean.Then I ENJOY watching them stammer out an explaination as I am LOUDLY silent looking at them as they make more stupid comments & eventually they stop themselves, apolgize or change the subject. And if they ask if they offended me I simply say "yes...but its ok, u dont know any better". Zing!!!!!!

[collegelmc]

Call it natural hairism

[sheenamassey83]

about 3 months into my transition my guy friend put his hand on my hair and was like "u need to a just for me or SOMETHIN!!" i was nicer about it than i should have been but alot of black people dont support u not wanting straight hair. im hoping it's just ignorance. ignorance can be changed

[MySkiesAreBlue24]

she was ot of place for doing that. how you chose to style your hair is your business. i had a black coworker who made a comment about my hair when it was natural when i had an internship and she was relaxed.

[funkylilmouse]

Was she a black girl? The French girl. Anyway...I understand what you mean, sadly, a white girl actually asked me why I didn't wear a weave...I was like wtf like my hair is not good enough but I just told her I wasn't into that, that my nautral hair is fine to me. I didn't start an argument with her, it would be pointless You did the right thing, we have to pick our fights.

[fakurcouch]

you're right.. she DIDN'T know any better

[Brida5242]

Honestly, you did the right thing ,if u did start an argument it would have put a damper on things and she probably didnt feel she said it to hurt ur feelings. Alot of naturals have experiences with someone telling them to relax their hair , and on the other hand their are some relaxed woman drooling over natural hair. Try not to take it personally because ur beautiful either way.

[jennifersvlog]

I think you kind of opened the door when you joked about your own hair. You said that she didn't mean to be malicious with the comment so I don't think I would have given it a second thought. Think about it this way: IF you were relaxed and not intending to go natural but just had gone without one for several months and new growth was popping through left and right, she probably would have said the same thing. Maybe I think this way because I'm not a hard core natural. Hair is just hair to me.

[CHARMED1FOREVAH]

You say this person is a nice girl??!?? Sorry but in my opinion it is not nice and it is mean and rude for a friend, acquaintance, or family member for that matter, to say to a natural haired person whether they are joking or not and it sounds like she was dead serious: " You need a relaxer!" That statement implies that there is something wrong with natural, chemically untreated hair. Totally false and very ignorant and just plain dumb.

[thurmond1200]

Next time, tell her to mind her own business. You can get a relaxer when you are ready for one.

[creamysugar12]

I was told i need a weave....by a male!

[keta4332]

i would've put her into her place IMMEDIATELY, saying: we do our hair HOW WE CHOOSE; different strokes for different folks, i can ONLY insult my hair! i had to put 1 black classmate INTO HER PLACE about my hair! my sister believes in IGNORING an insult about my natural hair.

[utwobing]

Sounds as if you made the best decision at the time. I personally like to slice people like that quickly. But I don't care if we are friendly ever again. If you are a person who does, sounds as if you made a wise decision.

[MJFanz411]

lol i would have been like "No, I don't :)"

[loveshinae]

I think your response was great. Someone has to be the bigger person. What she said was rude, but not every battle is meant to be fought.

[LuciousFoxx]

You did the right thing :)

[puffyhair07]

Yeah that's crazy. No one NEEDS a relaxer.

[brainznbeauty]

Just tell her, "No thank you sweetheart, I'm cool with my natural hair texture." Naturals have bad hair days like anyone else.

[locsNcurls]

She didn't understand, u did the right thing 2 ignore ignorance... We will not go back 2 scalp blistering and brain burning...one day she will understand..:) N2 Naturals

[shmawh]

Maybe she didn't understand, but she would have understood once I had said what I had to say. I could not have ignored that comment regardless of her intent.

[southernfriedpeaches]

girl ii think you did absolutely fine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! your reaction was perfect!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you know who you are! You are fearfully and wonderfully made!!!! and you do not have to respond to foolishness and ignorance....next time that happens kill them with kindness and use reverse psychology works everytime!! lol TEAM Nappy!

[stepewuoso]

I love your eye makeup!!!

[onlinebabeful]

She was saying what others think but dont have the courage to say.

Some naturals look great, others look like something out of the dark ages.

just because this women is out-spoken SHE IS ENTITLED to her opinion, too many naturals be hating on relaxed sister because their hair actually moves rather then sitting stiff.

[camstone23]

@onlinebabeful Ewww. Someone is suffering from the slave mentality. I say that because in your mind you think silky, straight hair is superior. That's what slave owners wanted their slaves to think. Let's not just go for physical bondage, bring on the mental enslavement, too. Don't fall for it. Whether you are natural or relaxed, please realize that all black hair is beautiful.

[PinkPanther1420]

@onlinebabeful Just and FYI, natural hair does move and you too are entitled to your opinion. Please think more carefully before you make a statement that sounds like it is ment to include all grades and lengths of natural hair.

[blahblahblahman]

@onlinebabeful

Usually these bald headed chicken relaxed women have very stiff broken off hair that doesn't move at all. Natural women on the other hand (those who have longer hair) can have movement if they want to! I have no idea what you are talking about.

And if relaxed hair does "move", so what? It's still damaged, no matter how shiny, long, or flowy it is. Relaxed hair=damaged. Relaxed hair is pretty disgusting.

[onlinebabeful]

@blahblahblahman I dont think any hair is disgusting,I think relaxed hair is beautiful and natural hair if it looks healthy,typical afro hair does not move because its texture prevents its from swaying,thats all.

[krazykc06]

I would of did the same thing ,but I would of informed her that you are natural by choice. Having natural hair itself is difficult so there are gonna b people out there that are gonna have their own opinions and be ignorant ...the best thing to do is to inform them about natural hair or let it go and assume they dnt know better.

[deatha44]

SHes not so nice. IF she came out of the side of her neck saying someting THAT ignorant. I probably would have asked her why she thought that way and given her a brief history lesson, lol. My daughter says the girls at the high school were the same way.

SHe has long lovely locks. I told her that she was beautiful, and that theyve been bamboozled.

Ur a pretty young lady, dont sweat it.

[glastars]

It will take time for people to know what natural hair is & how to take care of it. To people its like their own choice to go natural or not. An lots don't even know what it is. so lets all put in a effort to show the world what natural is. & how sweet n cool natural style can be. luv peace & sunshine.

[glastars]

She doesn't know anything about naturals. In her head she just probly in thought that hairs a thing a person can beat into any shape for fun. with relaxers/presses or heated rollers/hot combs. shes not dumb shes raised with everyone around her with wacky ideals on how hairs subpose to be. So she thought hey why don't u get a relaxer. & then ur like what the hell is wrong with u girl.

[TametheDrew]

First off you are very pretty! Your make up looks professional and you seem like a reasonable person. You took the high road. I sometimes work as a paralegal and for someone to say "you need a relaxer" is equivalent to saying "you need to bleach your teeth" or "you should get a nose job." It's those kinds of comments that make people feel insecure and lose confidence. Embrace yourself and love youself. That is how God made you. Also relaxers contain lye, very unhealthy and bad for you!

[rickykidz]

i get it all the time! ive even had gurls turn up their noses ppl called me "nappy" :/ what can you do but i noticed a lot of woman coming to me very curious with a lil reservation but they secretly wanna go natural like you said you have to pick your battle all my friends are natural. m bout to start sayin things to relaxed woman lol like "you NEED to go natural"! lol

[gogobergie2000]

love those eyebrows

[shanira31]

You handled it great.even if you had tried to teach her knowledge she just wouldn't get it because she obvious believes that relax hair is the only way to care for her hair.

[lizcastillomarquez]

GOOD FOR YOU, I think you did great, and shows wwhat a good person you are by not snaping bk. Hard thing to do

[zRibzyMitzy7]

...I would have destroyed her with words.

[NaturalJaLease13]

My fav line is this video: You're ignorant

[Stepper4life15AZ]

i come across this a lot and it stuns me every time

[VickyGirl1902]

You have beautiful hair. Don't pay attention to her. I have had people tell me that I need to straighten my hair. When I look up at their head, the hair is damaged to the last of its life. You don't need a relaxer.

[LadyBr1Br1]

@VickyGirl1902 lol YES!

[jacienz]

if she wasn't trying to hurt your feelings, then why did she say it?

[chocolate001able]

Your good!! I would of told her to run along with her box of Dark and Lovely or what ever the crap she uses.....who is she to tell you what to do..... sounds like she's jealous because you don't have to do anything to look good. She might of come across as nice but believe me some people are good actors.....don't let her hand go in your hair!!!! I just tell em straight...no beating round the bush!!! But thats just me.....your beautiful.

[malcanext]

This happens to me quite often with co workers or friends and i simply say i love my naturaly hair. AND THEN i see them again with my NATURAL hair lookin feirce, hair all wild and thick and healthy, lookin awesome and every time they ain't got s**t to say. What would you do? You get them with Thick -Long - Healthy hair the next time you see them.

[cherryici]

i would have asked her "why? my natural hair is beautiful. Why would i put a relaxer in it?. i wouldnt have told her off but i would have challenged her to a debate about it. she is obviously unaware that her statement was ignorant and insulting.

[YouMessinUp]

I wouldnt have gone off on her but I would have checked and educated her.

[preshjohnson]

Perhaps this point has been made already, but your peer's response is a part of a larger issue, that is, negativity toward natural hair. Within major American cities, attitudes toward Afros, braids & dredlocks have changed drastically & more Blacks sport their natural hair daily. However, nearly every time I visit a salon for a trim of my teeny weeny afro, stylists ask if I want a relaxer or texturizer! WTF! No. Heaven forbid I want healthy, chemical free hair and a modicum of respect.

[MsKhandiGurl]

You found the exact appropriate word/phrase for this incident..... BLATANT IGNORANCE! That's the word/phrase that I kept blurting out the whole time you were explaining the situation; cause that's just what it was... IGNORANCE & it's a shame too. But you did the right thing by taking the high road & choosing to pick your battles. That's HARD to do sometimes. Love the eye shadow by the way. :)

[BillionaireBarbi3]

where do you buy your hoop nose rings

[smile678]

I am a very sweet girl but when ppl tell me I need a relaxer I cannot help but go off

[earthmotherfromnj]

Some people just need two tight slaps... when I do feel like even talking to such people, I calmly state, " I am allergic to relaxer solutions, any other suggestions?"

[earthmotherfromnj]

Some people just need two tight slaps...

[TheToristeve]

i would hsve dropped some knowledge on her... sowed some seeds

[ShortyOh5]

I prolly would've jokingly said something smart back to her to let her know her way isn't the only way. My family struggled with my decision and make little side comments like that but I'm usually quick what the jokes and if they take it too far, I take it farther. And ignorance is not an excuse, I would have simply asked her "why?" and watch as she dumbly spit out an answer that had no basis....lol usually ppl just say "cuz it's nappy". -"and?"

[chibichichio]

@ShortyOh5 Mm, my family went on the attack. Every time I walked into a room - I'd get the cut direct lol Honestly, my parents were the biggest advocators that I chop it off or straighten it. Incredible...

lol anyway

[CurlyTopGirra7]

U did the right thing !!! It's best not 2 say anything 2 people who don't understand the fact that u've made a decision 2 be natural! It says alot about who u r as a person and how insecure other r about who they really r!! Keep your head high and do u!!

[qreojillybean]

the more african american, mixed, curly headed women educated the better. (my opinion)

[qreojillybean]

some people just have preferences, but that doesmt mean you have tofo

[armywife2248]

you handled it just fine. and you summed it up correctly...she was just ignorant to the fact that we CHOOSE to go natural and to not let the chemicals kill our naturally beautiful hair. a lot of us don't come by this knowledge until later in life, and believe me...so will she. a lot of us get caught up in the majority opinion that our hair "needs" to be straight to be pretty or acceptable....that is just not so. i love my natural locks, and just hate that it took me so long to catch up.

[urbanjewel]

I think you handled this well..simply b/c she said "you Need a relax", She could have simply asked why you don't wear one, allowing you to educate her. Obviously, she thinks she knows everything, so letting her remain in her ignorant state was probably the best thing to do.

[musiq4dasoul82]

I think you did the right thing. Some people don't think before they speak. lol! Picking and choosing your battles is always best, and apparently, she feels like EVERYONE should have a relaxer, so there is no way you could've won with her. LOL!

[MsKimmova]

Some ppl are ignorant and cant keep opinions to themselves, theres nothin u can do about, I would have saved my energy too, but bein the person I am, I would have coyly said "slave" or "not as much as u need a brain", I dunno I cant let things like that slide

[politicaljunkie1967]

Educate her, If knew she wasn't trying to hurt your feelings then just tell her about your journey. Each one, teach one.

[Eshundee]

You are right because people don't always understand that we are NATURAL and she might have thought that you didn't know any better. She was not trying to offend you. She will learn because I was like that before I went natural and I felt like that was the only way to be beautiful and that if you didn't have your hair relaxed that you were poor and your hair would be beautiful if you could ever get this stuff for your hair.

[NaturallyBeautiful18]

All I Have To Say Is STAY Natural and Don't Let Comments Like That Make You Believe You Have To Use The Creamy Crack ! =]

[MrandMrsT]

I'm not the most considerate person when someone says something foolish so I probably would have cursed her out. But you did handle it well.

[NoelleNaturally]

You were right. There was no point in ruining your whole night out just because of one ignorant comment. However, I do think that I would have informed my friend later that she needed to check her friend. You may want to hesitate in forming closer ties to this "nice" person who is so callous toward the feelings of others. Someone who has reached the age of twelve should know that making negative personal comments about other people is hurtful. I assume you don't hang out with tweens.

[bubblebath88]

i would have just said "nah, i don't do those anymore"...

[pookie25542]

I would cursed that *itch out lol

[rosegarden1903]

I have a good sized fro and my sister periodically sends me a text saying that I need to relax my hair. Some people just don't understand that it is a personal choice. Just like they have the right to relax we have the right to be natural. You did right by just ignoring her. You are beautiful. By choosing your battles you still got to go out and have a nice time :)

[oolibrice]

i wouldve just laughed at her

[epiphanybella]

I'm late to this party, but you should have explained to her just like you did at 3:42 in your video. That was a perfect way to explain it to her.

[Nitra813]

i just would of explained to her that no one NEEDS a relaxer, and then told her if she has negative comments about your hair she can keep them to herself, then smiled and left it at that. if she wanted to add her two cents after that then i would gladly explained to her the process, at least then i would have her attention. I dont believe she realized the manner of what she said and how she shouldnt say that to anybody in that way.

[evyo91]

Maybe she doesn't understand or is unable to see the beauty of being natural. And I would have made my little comment, as well that's not gonna happen because I Love my hair the way it was given to me. But what you did was better being the bigger person.

[04070413]

it's ok i'm pretty sure she was black herself because we as black women today are only use to relaxed hair and think that's how we should wear our hair. i think u did the right thing she is ignorant.

[0119alt]

let me tell you something, you are BEAUTIFUL and you are proud of your natural hair, which many women, sadly are not. You did the right thing.

[AfroButtafly]

Honestly....my face says everything before my mouth even opens most of the time so..she would have gotten the side eye of the century but ultimately I wouldn't have been nasty to her. I would have kindly explained that I choose not to relax for several reasons...primarily health and maybe left it at that. Sometimes ppls remarks can be frustrating but usually it is coming from a place of pure ignorance which they cannot be "totally" blamed for. If we as naturals don't educate them who will?

[ashantirae]

do you still use hydratherma naturals

[nigelsewell]

she has foot in mouth syndrome she speaks before she thinks

[nigelsewell]

u did it right she has foot in mouth syndrome! she speaks before she thinks!

[curlmebella]

The term is Self Hate. I think you did the right thing, it would have probably made you uncomfortable for the rest of the evening if you had said something. Ignorance is sad, She was probably jealous.

[SoulGlo1982]

ya know thats why i think natural hair forums and youtube are so wonderful. i tried to go natural when i was 18 but i had so many incidents like the one you're describing that i caved. had these outlets existed i think i would have held strong. i'm natural almost 3yrs and i must say the support we receive through these avenues helps us ignore the ignorance.

[KinkyKurlyKham]

I would have had to kindly let her know what's up! lol

[natrlchallenge]

She was not worth correcting. Good that you didn't waste your breath. Ignorant and probably thought she was giving you good advice.

[jamig1]

I haven’t read any other responses, but IMO I think it didn't have to be confrontational. You can just say something like I'm natural and I don't do relaxers. Remember a lot of people think that we need a relaxer, which as you know is not the case. If the girl was nice I don't think it would have been a big deal to let her know your hair is natural and also letting her see how you can style natural hair. But in the end you did what was best for you that's all that matters.

[TheMadambition]

your eye makeup is flawless -- beautifully done! I would have handled the situation the same way -- I pick my battles, too, and it's apparent that she doesn't "get it" -- it's not a part of her comprehension -- and that's okay. I might have shared with her that I prefer my natural hair texture rather than a relaxer.

[pixigirl999]

Post was cut off. I was saying that if you gauge that the person to whom you are speaking is not open to hearing what you have to say then it is best to keep it moving. Some people are just not ready.

[pixigirl999]

First off love your eyebrows. Secondly I don't understand everyone saying you should have "gone off" on her. Now that would have been ignorant. We have to understand that we are up against many years of media brainwashing. So it will take many years for the generations to follow to truly appreciate the natural beauty that is unique to us. Instead it was a teachable moment. If that situation should occur take a breath and drop a knowledge bomb on the uninformed. If u gauge that that person is no

[gad4lyfe]

NO YOU WERE RIGHT.....THAT'S A BATTLE YOU WOULD NOT HAVE WON....... LIKE YOU SAID.... SHE JUST AINT KNOW ANY BETTER.

[athelija]

I'm 1:25 into your vid and I say "slap dat ho!" lol jk

[PearlfectJourney]

Giiiiirl, I would have been like, 'Excuse me?' If she repeated it, I would have told her why I went natural and why I've remained natural. At the end of that, I would have let her know: Sooo, clearly I don't need a relaxer, because I'm living fly, sexy, and cool without one. However, I understand your reasoning for not saying anything. I'm just a very bold and blunt person, lol. Take care, hun.

[efayse]

Alot of people got hate in their heart. They don't wanna see your beautiful curly hair. U better than me...I would thrown mad shade.

[gypsygrl1]

There was no need to go "off" on her - why not just say "no, I like it natural."

[bigteina]

i really like your nails!

[bigteina]

i would have just said..."aw bless your heart" and left it at that.

[muccamucca9494]

Who cares if she is nice, she is ignorant and needed to be put in her place. (in a classy way)

[soffy2002]

I don't think you are gonna be able to avoid people projecting their self hatred on African women who've decided to live more enlightened. Women who are trying to emancipate themselves from mental slavery. I recently made the decision to go natural and I had to be defending that decision constantly from my own family members. That's just how brainwashed we are.

[MizNikkiSoBossy]

Hear* stupid auto correct lol

[queenTrdh]

@MizNikkiSoBossy. I would have used that as a teachable moment.

I would start by asking "Do you want to know why I don't relax my hair?" If she answered no I would leave it @ that, but if she answered YES that gives you the opportunity to enlighten her. I use this approach b'cuz most ppl will say yes (it's that being positive vs being negative). Esp in a social setting. U did right by not saying anything @ the time no need to increase that negative vibe. Thumbs up to U & this vid ! THNX

[MizNikkiSoBossy]

Thank you everyone for support on this video! Sorry I can't get back to u individually but I do appreciate all of the advice and feedback. Can't wait to here more. Keep em comin ladies :)

[OrganicLover87]

hm.......i would have 1st said "excuse you?" lol.. But i have to agree when you said she could have been ignorant about what she said w/o intentionally doing it on purpose.

I believe you reacted the right way..don't sweat it. Just move on from it. Thats all you can do.

[mitchellzee]

I'm so proud of my hair right now that I'm just not even thinkin' about a relaxer. So for someone to bring it up like that...like you NEED to get a relaxer. No, don't think so. It sounds like someone may need to give her the "what's up" before she strikes again. Next time may not be so sweet.

[tp3reloaded80]

in your case I would have asked her- what do I need a relaxer for? then depending on her answer- I would have GOT with her...if you feel me or just nicely educated her...

[tp3reloaded80]

girrrl! i didnt comment on this the other day but i just kind of had this situation happen with my mother-she asked why my hair looks so nappy - dont you need to pick it out- I just said 'Pick it out for what?' she couldnt really answer. she knows im natural tho

[missvirgo1978]

I think I would have told her that she needs Jesus to heal her ignorance!

[spiceness]

You did the right thing. Arguing with ignorant people or trying to put everyone straight is a losing battle. They'd beat you with their years of experience of ignorant bliss!

[DawnOnMeNow]

Sounds sort of passive aggressive..hmm...I think I would have questioned her intent a little.

[JGT318]

Yes, she was ignorant. Poor thing. And your eye makeup is on point! Rock your natural self, girl.

[umkish]

I think her comment was a good opportunity to educate her about the 'choice' of natural hair so she understands that women choose not to relax when she encounters another natural. She may end up saying it to the wrong person next time and they may not empathize with her limited knowledge. I do think you did the right thing in not arguing because it wouldn't have gone anywhere without knowing if she would be receptive to your view or her motivation for making the comment.

[myenmoni]

You handled the situation very well! I love your hair!

[chocolatedream3411]

I would have taken a deep breath soo i wouldnt say anything crazy to hurt her feelings and then tell the girl first i was just playin,,and my hair is beautiful the way it is and im comfortable and love my natural hair,,and i know how to take care of my hair

[bebegurl31291]

many years of brainwashing was the cause of that ignorance

[mzlaqt]

ooh see that would have been a really tuff moment for me. i probably would've checked that ignorant 304 real quick. oh yeh. she would've seen ghetto at its finest. but you did the right thing.

[c0c0puffz]

Anytime someone tells you what you need to do they are being rude. Or maybe she was just trying to be funny at your expense.

[acmdu89]

IGNORANCE is not an excuse. She should have been put in check. U should send her this video and let her read the comments. My mother used to say that to me when I first started going natural and I told her that her comments were not nice nor informed. Everytime she would say, "Girl guh perm yuh hair" I would say Mommy love me, love my hair. Now, she loves my natural hair. I put it in braids the other day and she made the comment, "Why did you braid up all that pretty hair"....MOTHERS!

[danayparker]

Girl ~ the first words out of my mouth would of been "Bitch what?!". Im just joking, or am i 0_o lol. Silly little girls work my nerves!! 

[Eleonore813]

I understand you but this is something you'll often hear. Maybe the good answer would be, but gently, "I wasn't born with relaxed hair" which means her hair is not natural as she thinks it's. Keep in mind, being natural is not easy everyday because black beauty canon is unfortunately (it may change) girl with relaxed hair. Even here in France (or Even more here) it's hard everyday. You just need to be self-confident, and I'm sure you are because she won't be the last to say that. Salut

[pepperrgirl]

I think you did the right thing for your situation. I wouldn't necessarily put her in her place or harshly check her but she'd definitely get a brief PSA from me (just incase she meets another natural who is having a bad day/in PMS mode)

[CompleteBlessings]

I understand how you feel. That was an ignorant comment. The best way to combat ignorance is to educate. I think I would have simply stated that I am this way by choice.

[maximuslyricus]

Hey MNSB. I know it can be burdensome, but I think that it wouldn't have hurt to let her know - in a kind way - that because of your hair's beauty and healthiness, u're natural by choice. Who knows, it may be knowledge that she might decide to put to good use down the road.

[jojozzy]

I have experienced what you felt and I've only been transitioning to natural hair for the past 8 months. It's sad the type of ignorance some women have about their hair. There's always a time n place to enlighten but some need a full blown explanation to even get a slight picture. Keep ya head up. You are so beautiful by the way. I can't wait til I'm fully natural.. 4more months n it will be chopped :D..so excited!!

[mzblackbutterfly1]

she may have been ignorant, but i would have taken the time to enlighten her about "YOUR CHOICE" to wear your hair natural and not to relax!!!!!!!!!!!! I would have told her that i am confident enough in ME to rock my natural GOD given hair and if that makes you uncomfortable OH WELL!!!!!!!!

[charice281]

I think u were right... may not have even noticed that U hair was blown out, and not relaxed... because when I blow dryed my hair looked the same when I didnt have a relaxer... so maybe that was it...

[mahoganybella]

She would have gotten educated on natural hair. Educating is always necessary not arguing. It doesn't sound like she wanted to pick a fight but I don't think she knew you were natural. Sorry that happened.

[kid77]

I would have let her know I don't need a damn thing but if she said it in a nondisrespectful way just out of pure ignorance then I would have let it slide but if she was trying to poke fun at me I'm sorry I'd let her have it.

[LuzWilson]

Life is too short to be stressin over petty remarks.Ppl gonna talk regardless..I'm natural also and know exactly how you feel.It's annoying but I won't let it even ruin my day or confidence in my choice on how I wear my hair.Keep strong and brush it off ;)

[MackMel90]

I wouldve told her "and bitch you need some manners!" excuse my french lol

[nicoleann912]

I think you handled the situation correctly. But she was being rude. It would have hurt my feelings. She should keep her opinion to herself if she isn't fond of natural hair. You look beautiful!

[SoPeechyKeen]

your make-up looks great and your looking amazing in this vid!

( could you do a make-up tutorial ) ?? :P

[Viloveshero]

omg i had the same experience at my work place...my boss liked my hair my supervisor hated it and had to make an ignorant comment abt it...

[cecenatural]

you did the right thing we all wake up at different times

[SheSingsLovely]

Yeah there was no use in arguing, especially since she didn't mean to be rude. I would have used that time to quickly educate her about natural hair. Nothing lengthy, just "I chose to be natural and not use a relaxer. I like to wear my hair the way got made it. I just wish I had done a different style." I would have just left it at that.

[sheenalyoung]

Loving the birds in the background. Like you said, you chose not to fight that battle. I probably would have done the same unless she asked me more questions on my decision to be natural. Then maybe I would have explained more my conscious choices.

[miscellaneousable]

I would have just very nicely told her why I choose NOT to get a relaxer. I think that's what I would have done given the right time and place. Cute eye make-up!

[cutechoclatechip]

love the eye makeup!

[sheasugar]

I think that person is so ignorant. I do understand how hard it is to talk to someone so close minded and ignorant. It's pointless. You did the right thing.

[missladyt317]

I hate that ish!!! It's happened to me too girl. I've gotten waaaay more compliments than negative feedback. It's just that some people don't understand what it is that they have ACTUALLY growing out of their head. So many girls tell me..my hair used to be like that but I permed it and now it's messed up. I feel like SCREAMING ...YOUR HAIR IS NOT MESSED UP...JUST STOP RELAXING... You just have to realize some people just don't understand..

[kitabare76]

I have had relaxers, weeve, etc, and I am not a relaxer nazi. If a person wants to relax their hair so be it. I think it is wrong for black people to make other black people who choose not to relax feel ashamed and vice versa. People just need to be educated to make informed decisions. Black people are just carrying on what Europeans did to slaves and passing on internalized hate subconsciously.

[kitabare76]

You should have let her know...She knew...and if she didn't, you should have educated her to her "mentality". It's ok to have relaxers...but have one for the right reasons, not because you think natural hair is bad. The way GOD made us. Other races dye their hair, get perms etc because they want a different look. Black people relax their hair out of shame and slavey residuals.

[nakesha75]

i personally would have tactfully educated her...now understand i am not at all a confrontational person by no means and would rather walk away then argue for the most part but sometimes peoples intentions may not be malicious they just need a little education..but so long as you went out and had a good time despite all and was able to make you hair work for YOU then whatever!! :-)