Added: 2 years ago
From: davidmitchellsoapbox
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  • snugglydom is a place i want to be

  • My Dad actually helped design the Linx bullet. haha awkward

  • He's got a point :D

  • The revolutionary third cushion... hehehehe

  • I want a Cozy-Tron 5000!

  • @MrFungus420 So does any man who's seen this video.

  • "even a gay priest will take you roughly in the cloisters.." Hilarious.

  • I'm quite amused that, for a man to whom personal grooming "is not a burning issue," is nevertheless generally quite clean-shaven, has a remarkably consistent and neat (if not entirely 'trendy') hairstyle, and a 'uniform' of collared shirts in a range of colours, assuming three colours is a range.

    Anyway, it seems that he pictures _all_ male grooming as that. scene from American Psycho, where a veritable army of bathroom products awaits a three-hour maintenance session.

  • I'm so sodding tired that i read "Matt Groening" instead of Male Grooming.

  • Comment removed

  • I suppose this video explains why the male grooming products don't sponsor DavidMitchell'sSoapBox anymore.

  • Comment removed

  • "Really? For shooting women with? From your gun?"

    Just watched the innuendos one...

  • I like this video more for the random lemur

  • Girling Rod? Sounds like a euphemism for a penis.

  • 1:51

  • i actually have to disagree with david on this. grooming and presenting yourself well is an evolutionary thing. usually the males in the animal world are brightly coloured and do things to impress the females. but for some reason we went backwards and the females wear all the nice fancy things with lots of colours and men all wear the exact same get up: a suit with a tie. and often they have the same haircut too. if anything, girls are being male like in the human world.

  • @timmy47 the lack brightly colours is superficial and preventing you from seeing the ways human man are similar to other species males, what male animals try to do is emulate the characteristics they see as masculine (which doesn't always involve bright colours) humans are the same but it just so happens that for us our culture has made part of that having a really good suit, this attitude crosses over into many other male endeavours it's why we have a stronger sense of self image then women

  • @timmy47 its actually only in a very few species where the males are brightly coloured (and mostly in birds and some fish). Most mammal species it is the males that often fight against each other in order to secure a harem of males and they are often more muscular. Any additional markings or physical features on a male mammal is often used to show dominance, not to attract a mate. Since humans are mammals, it would be much more relatable to use these species as examples.

  • @liftwell good point, i withdraw my previous statement. however, i still don't really agree that grooming is a less male thing to do. sticking to evolution, we have evolved to use our minds more than our bodies. grooming and clothing sends a message to the other gender than we may have money and stature and and many women like a man who is clean and takes care of himself.

  • Pepsi Max anyone? Basically Pepsi Light for Men

  • I like how they advertise moisturiser for women compared to men. Women it's all about being lovely and soft, anti aging, and so on. Men they show pictures of leather drying out and tell you to protect your man hide. It's the same product with a slightly different smell in a different box.

  • @auspolk There's a moisturizer on sale here, and there's basically two versions of it, but rebranded depending whether it's aimed at men or women.

    The women's version is said to "Combat the seven signs of aging"

    The men's version is sold as "Combating the seven signs of fatigue"

    It almost makes me cringe how blatant they are about it.

  • I wonder what women think of men that post self shots of their own abs.

  • @SicSlaver I think such men are full of themselves. I once declined to respond to a message from someone on a dating website because he'd posted a picture of his pecs; it's just cheesey. I also think it's in poor taste when women post bikini shots of themselves, but you probably don't mind.

  • @moonlily1 I've never used dating sites before, unfortunately. :(

  • @SicSlaver eh, you're not missing anything, trust me.

  • I want David Mitchell to narrate my internal thoughts for the rest of my life.

  • omg

    thank you!

    this is what I think but noone ever says it

  • I honestly can't stand guys who think it's "okay" to not make an effort.

    They think it's *manly* to be hairy, sweaty and wear baggy tracksuit bottoms everywhere.

    Well guess what, it isn't.

    The moral of the story is: Shave your balls. Wash your penis. Wax your back. Wash everywhere at least once a day. style your hair. If you really want to, wear full face makeup. I really don't care. Just look good and smell nice.

    If you do this, according to my brain you are 100x more likely to get laid.

  • @Madnessinmusicx As somebody who does 'put in an effort' into remaining presentable ... most of the time. I have to disagree with you in the way that I find it strange that some people feel the need to be well dressed and perfectly quaffed for every occasion. I mean if I'm going out with friends or to an event of almost any description that's fine, but, there is a point at which spending several hours making yourself look decidedly 'pretty' seems a bit over the top.

  • @Madnessinmusicx

    In essence, perpetuate racist white middle-class standards of beauty, which are utterly unrealistic, and were always intended, both to make people feel insecure about their bodies for profit, and also to indicate and strengthen class/racial divisions.

    Fuck you, I'll find a woman who appreciates natural beauty as much as I do, and we'll fuck with a greater intimacy and authenticity than you will ever know.

  • @Madnessinmusicx Laid by you, which I think we'll pass on and stick to people who actually appreciate what humans look like and don't want everyone to conform to the pictures in the magazines (advertisements) that they buy.

    Amusing that you instruct men to wash their penises. There's a bit of a difference between the man who likes a bit of stubble and likes to go for a run and the man who doesn't bathe.

  • finally, I'm at the age (15) where everyone around me think they're manly because of this, and I (as a geek i don't keep up with these 'trends') don't know how it all makes sense, but finally, someone that does make sense

  • @DazNoobs same personal idea here. allthough i have alternative motives besides hating the sodding thing. it is that im allergic.

  • way better than guy code..

  • Male grooming is old--and relatively recent...American college fraternity guidebooks in the 1950s taught that gentlemen shave their armpits! And note that our primate relatives groom, too.

  • @CaponeAl36 Isn't that roughly around the same time armpit shaving was pushed for women too? Seems like it was pushed for both genders...

  • He's so right ('cept this stuff isn't so much feminine as it is just useless) and nobody notices perfume or cologne unless the person is wearing too much of it. As long as a guy showers regularly most of us couldn't give a shit and men never notice the effects of the useless products we've been told are so essential either. Plus, ever have a friend who used to wear way too much cologne before they died? Whenever I smell curves for men I worry I'm being haunted.

  • Yet there are grown men out there who watch My Little Pony without any of these underhanded marketing techniques.

  • daft. is this the english version being a reactionary?

  • Lynx lol WASH YOUR COCK VIRGINS

  • I'm watching this from snuglidom, more commonly known as a futon...

  • Ridiculing feminity is sexist

    (A welcoming comment from a guy who spends too much time on Tumblr)

  • This is 10x funnier with the CC on.

  • @ShonaM6920

    finally your ass will conquer the armies of discomfort with those softest

    armchair invented by science

    the first caution makes you come

    the second collision makes you come here

    but the revolutionary new food caution transports you to us not an issue never

    dreamt possible

    the cozy from five thousand

    breaking up frontiers of snugly dot

  • God I love David Mitchell. I feel like I have a tiny David Mitchell in my head sometimes. Or maybe he just gives that little voice a stand-up routine? Either way it's incredible.

  • this is why i don't shower

  • As much as I can appreciate pointing out and sharing your favorite bits of a video, I do hate it when the punchline of a video is the top comment. I know it was no one's intention to throw a wet blanket on the joke, but that is its net effect.

  • And this is why David Mitchell now has a man beard.

  • @aaron9099 As opposed to a female beard?

  • @slightlyinsaneFTW You don't even want to see a female beard....

  • I love how he's dissing his sponsor.

  • The Cozytron5000!!

    I want it! Where can I get it?! I must have it! Shut up and take my money!!

  • Male grooming is old school. It's not a new thing. You all should see the crap they used to do in the 17th and 18th century. Hell, just look at men's fashions back in the 80s (21st century)! This shite is OLD!

  • @CalamityM "the 80s (21st century)" The 2080s?

  • This is a Labratoire, not a UNESCO conference!

  • Wait, bull dog natural grooming is an actual product?? O.o

  • dude, you may look and sound like a posh tory...but dammit man, you hit the nail on the head with this bad boy! bring back the real man!! (i dont use aftershave or any other 'girly' products!)

  • I didn't really use to shave with whiskey and a combat knife, just incase someone who can't take a bit of banter decides to reply to my post with a " yeah right" because they took my post far to seriously...

  • I shave with a Mach... Something, one up from a 3 but they don't call it 4...... However I shave only with water and bollocks to foams and creams, I use to shave with whiskey and a combat knife, now that's manly! Grrrrrrrrrrr!

  • "Rohypnolly" is my new favourite word

  • Did he say "ComfyDrunk 5000"? I *sooo* want one!!

  • i totally agree with him on this. i buy crap for my armpits and shaving cream[and soap, ofc] but bollox to buying stuff to 'soften my fucking skin' or 'after shave lotion'. i'm a bloke.. i'm allergic to forking out £20 on men's perfume. let some ex gf or other female friend buy that stuff for you.. isn't that what ex gf's are for?poss the most boring activity in the world is shopping & w a gf? x1000. maybe i'm anti consumer or summat but i don't get shopping. but, if i was rich?well...

  • "Breaking the frontiers of snugglydom" has to be a slogan for a bounce fabric softener commercial.

  • the thing is david, a lot of women are attracted to effiminate males-i mean how many straight women fall for their gay best friends?

  • @phoney98 He never says effeminate males are bad, not that the products are bad. He's just pointing out how society seems to thing effeminate males are bad, and how it's funny that to sell these products, the company makes these products sound manly

  • I'm intrigued; what's your take on female grooming?

  • I want that armchair.

  • David, you should seriously think about doing voice overs for over dramatic furniture adverts. Cozytron 5000. lol.

  • i find these comments fascinating. i am quite vain and do groom and style myself as a bit of a scuff bag beach bum but it's really only to attract female attention. i have a penis there for i want to use it as frequently as possible before the bloody thing stops working. do you think fielding or brand would get the kind of effeminate attention if they style themselves?

  • Wow, Now I really feel the yearn to be sold a comfy chair this way

  • David is definitely bitter about not being naturally more girly himself.

  • Is it bad that he reminds me of Austin Powers? ... minus the hair, he kinda looks like him.

  • I really want that sofa

  • Three cushions?!?! GENIUS!

  • I love how he made up the word "Rohypnoly"

  • My secret crush....

  • "Breaking the frontiers of snuggliedom".

    Greatest thing ever said by a human.

  • From other rants it seems clear that Mitchell has a grasp of history, but in this rant the whole point seems to be lacking in that context. Rather nowadays the male grooming seems to be aimed at a population that wasn't interested in it before, but it is more of a class thing. Think of dandyism or the whole genteel grooming thing. Neat moustache or beard or a clean shave was much more important some fifty years ago. Or for that matter, what about yuppies and American Psycho.

  • Yet you shave. So grow a beard and try again.

  • Wilkinson swords new mans girling rod.

    Brilliant.

  • @goldiedawn17 XD haha no. but it's not like i'm going after him or anything. O_o

  • @goldiedawn17 no.... that'd be weird seeing as i'm 17...

  • David Mitchell rawks!

  • @goldiedawn17 i think he's gorgeous. ^_^

  • Clearly decided he isn't worth it!

  • Honestly I really enjoy David, but he's kind of lost my vote here. The implication a man shouldn't wish to groom himself to whatever extent, is sexist. A man is no more or less a man based on his grooming habits, in the same way he's no more or less a man based on his vocation, taste in film or thoughts on bike riding.

    If someone has a penis and is over 18, they are a man. Done.

  • @twoplusoneisthree oh i shouldnt worry about it.. i doubt any of it is really serious.

  • @twoplusoneisthree Never take jokes seriously, he most certainly doesn't.

  • The bass drop made 12 people miss the like button.

  • I need to get me a cozytron 5000

  • I do so love David Mitchell.

  • @vanessatrelane so nice you said it twice!! I adore Mitchie like mad too xx

  • I do so love David Mitchell.

    

  • of course men should groom...men are fooling themselves if they think that any of them are enthralling and impressive enough to not pay attention to their physical attributes. the days for that ended 300 odd years ago, or maybe when shakespeare died. i daresay that, generally speaking of course, women have gone quite up in the world, their beauty no longer being the only thing by which to judge, but i'm afraid that for men it's quite the opposite.

  • And this is why this is now sponsored by Dell.

  • Snugglidom is a word I have to start using. Lol.

  • There needs to be a unified convention for men that says we will all bear 5-o'clock shadows in an effort to un-effeminate the male gender.

  • "Bullet. Mack3. Bulldog." LOL!!!

    :)))

  • Um...who is his sponsor again?

    This one is very funny, and the first half is spot-on. The second half is a bit wild.

  • Now I'm wondering what he'd look like with a beard...

  • Now I'm wondering what he'd look like with a beard...

  • He's not as funny here :(

  • Oddly enough i feel the need to shave now....

  • ..oh, I thought it is a dog´s meat they advertise before this program.., I love comercials, but I am not very good at picking up what they are for.

  • Get me a Cosytron 5,000. PRONTOSTYLE.

  • "GILETTE TOMAHAWK"

    xD

  • 1:28 onwards was lollls "magnetic personality and devastating good looks" :P

  • He should do one about children's grooming...

  • Ironically this rant may help sell bulldog

  • LMAO!! Archbishop Stiffy

  • BREAKING THE FRONTIERS OF SNUGGLYDOM

  • I want a cozytron 5000.

  • love how he just insults his sponsor.

  • i want to marry me this man.

  • @livstar93 i think all girls and women watching this want to as well ^-^

  • This guy is my hero

  • What's the word at 1:45 that sounds like "rehipnolly"?

    I tried looking it up, but, obviously, what I thought it sounded like just isn't a word. And I'm an American, so, for him at least, I don't have much going for me.

  • @dlkarpay I think he might be saying 'Rohypnol'-y, the drug that can be used to spike people's drinks.

  • I can honestly say that before I watched this video, I thought 'Bull Dog Natural Grooming' was, as ludicrous as it may seem, for dogs.

  • @StretchyGreenFrogs That assumption is not ludicrous at all in today's screwed up society.

  • Is the ring-tailed lemur David's bete noir?

  • I smell pretty.

    The pretty smelling girls seem to like it.

  • I've decided men's grooming is all about secrecy. You need to put as much effort into looking and smelling good, without appearing to do anything. Moisturise your skin, pluck your eyebrows, file your nails you must do whatever you can to improve your looks, but don't let anyone find out!

    So I gave up on my looks and simply lowered my standards.

  • I now want a CozyTron 5000.

  • haha man's girling rod!

  • Snugglydom

  • i think hes gorgeous

  • Being 36?..will soon be 46,56, 66..and a bit more, perhaps, if he really wants to be slapped around in a council-rul home. But methinks our chap here will provide to avoid that,

  • I basically agree but I wouldn't bitch about aftershave. It's ok to smell nice, it doesn't turn you into Eddie Izzard all of a sudden (if only)

  • J'adore David Mitchell! I wish I had a.. Whats its called? The snuggle chair 5000?

  • @tidball1 lol, spoken like a true desperate virgin, get layed bro

  • @tidball1 Doubt it considering a lot of women find him attractive (Don't ask me why). Sounds like you're a bit envious though, judging by the several comments you've left on varying videos about Mitchell being a virgin.

  • @TalonWolf it's the voice.

  • @tidball1 Despite being 36...

  • what is so bad about male grooming anyway, surely we should just admit that we like to look nice, where is the shame in it.

  • wilkinson's man's girling rod ahahahaha

  • "The Lynx Bullet."

    I took a gulp of coke.

    "... Bullet."

    I choked on said coke.

    Brilliant.

  • I just saw an ad for men's bodywash which said "Cow hide dries out. So does your man-hide." and I had to watch this again. ABSURD

  • packed with essential oils. MANY essential oils. like PETROLEUM. so you can run a TRUCK on your HAIR.

  • yeah right men never had any interest in their looks and odour before metrosexuality -.-

  • Rohypnol-y.

    Lawl. Adjective of the Month Award.

  • Hi. I am the man your man won't smell like, even though I am helping sell this product for him to buy.

    Your man won't be as funny as me, but at least he'll smell nice.

    I'm on a chair.

  • So, is Lynx the same as Axe, or do they just sometimes have the exact same products?

  • @Nannirk

    lynx and axe are the same product its just axe in theus an lynx everywhare else

  • @krystion It's Axe in Norway too. And a whole bunch of other countries.

  • @Nannirk

    hmm didnt know that i thought it was a europian product called lynx the expanded and called it axe but u seem to know shit about it :P

  • @krystion Yeah. Norway is a small country. At least Urge is called Urge here, though.

  • @Nannirk Axe was created by the French company Unilever but couldn't use the name here in the UK so they brand it in certain markets as Lynx.

  • @SentinelConvergence Haha. Do you know why they couldn't use that name in the UK?

  • That Cosytron 5000 sounds delightful!

  • LOOK.

    AT.

    THE CAMERA.

  • Snugglydom. XD

  • I would quite like a Cosytron 5000

  • If I ever own an armchair company I'm hiring David to do the adverts...

  • LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

  • Bullet. Mach 3... Bulldog.

  • The "girling rod"...holy shit, I lost it on that one...too fucking funny!!

  • When exactly was this time when men would have been embarrassed to groom? The further back in time you go, in my experience, the more appearance-obsessed the men were. Even the vikings actually dressed quite fancy.

    Furthermore, it seems that historically, the most brutish, misogynist and unfeeling men (these seem very un-feminine traits to me) have always been the most likely to wear eyeliner and silk pajamas.

  • Let's all think of the spartans getting groomed before a battle if they plan to fight to the death - you wouldn't want to die looking like a corpse now, would you? - which we learned on QI. So maybe it's not all that bad.

    Also, I want a Cozytron 5000. Now.

  • @IcEye89 We learned that on QI? Funny, I seem to remember learning that at school. Oh well, educations are expensive, aren't they?

  • @EinherjarServitor Not only expensive but also bloody different. At least where I went to school spartan grooming was not part of the curriculum, which is a shame but can't be rectified now.

  • @IcEye89 Ah, well see, my history teacher was rather obsessed with ancient Greece. Minoans, Thebes and Macedon were all on the program. So was Athenian pedophilia and Laocmedonian grooming.

    You don´t know what you´ve been missing. XD

  • @EinherjarServitor Isn't Thebes the capital of ancient Egypt? Similar to ancient Greece but well.. with a sea in between the two. But that sounds like you have been awfully lucky having such a teacher. We did the damned crusades in one presentation of about 20 minutes, at least everything after the French revolution was stretched out to infinity