Terror from the Year 5000 - 2/10

[Lightscribe225]

If the statue is so irradiated, shouldn't it have already done some damage to him, seeing as he was exposed to it for over 24 hours.

[0o0ification]

It's a good thing that he didn't chase her around the desk. She was on the brink of bludgeoning him to death and chewing on his digits to satisfy her brimming fury!

[pretorious700]

This clown couldn't carbon date a ham sandwich

[DickieAnginson]

"And so you see, Mother, I've been significantly influenced by Cubists."

[blossom246810]

2:53 "Ms. Blake, ever since I studied with Professor Erling (sp?), I've been a little afraid of him"

Crow: "He's a fifty foot cyclops."

XD

[GoblinXXX]

Not only is Miss Blake dumb, she is SO filled with uncontrollable rage!

[Hndshks]

Obligatory "that isn't how carbon dating works" comment.

[ShaolinDeadlyGamers]

He says it was made in 5200AD then says not for another 3000 years... so this movie was made in 2200AD?

[wrathanet]

He's right, it can't be minus. Because that's not how carbon-dating works. It tells you how old the object is, not when it was created (not that it would make a difference unless you get time travel involved). Even if it could produce a negative age, carbon dating only works on organic matter anyway.

And yet, somehow, I made it through Giant Spider Invasion without any problems...

[budzin303]

have you been free-basing again sir

[88sili]

Someone keep the riff but just add the Knight Rider theme in the background, hahahaha!

[TheLazerBread]

Do you have cartoon music playing in your head too?

[Cloaytonem2]

Carbon dating on a futuristic object, and getting a negative number.

That's like saying if you send a tree back in time and count the rings, it'd have a negative number of rings

[whoadude1959]

people, people....

JUST REPEAT TO YOURSELF "IT'S JUST A SHOW",

I SHOULD REALLY JUST RELAX!"

[daveshn]

Oh my god. Some of their shorts don't make women look this dumb.

[NoelDantes]

Guys, guys, stop arguing, I think we are missing the major point here.... and that is that Miss Blake is hawt!

[BlazikenYoshi]

Carbon dating cannot be used to find out when something was made, just how old it is.

Carbon dating can only be used on carbon-based subjects, not metals.

Radiation doesn't make water boil.

Are we in B-movie science fiction or what? :D

[BlueDeath88]

@BlazikenYoshi All true. Although it did not make the water boil, it was just bubbles from dropping the statue in. Perhaps the films scientific adviser was the same guy they used for Radar Secret Service.

[GoblinXXX]

Do you have cartoon music playing in your head, too? (She needs to deal with her rage.)

[Phobos1313]

Were the film's writers this stupid, or were they just counting on an ignorant audience to nod their heads and mumble "uh huh" when a character speaks in technobabble?

[GoblinXXX]

@Phobos1313 Probably stupidity on the part of the writers. Most people today don't know how Carbon-14 dating works, sadly enough, and I'm sure these writers didn't care.

[mistereveready]

Jeeze this is as bad as  a Kent Hovind video. The pain, the pain!

[ChaoticYak]

6 + 1 IS 10!

[BlarkUntVhite]

I CAN'T HERE YOU MAGGOT!

[Theburn77]

Woman = Dumb

[bobdolesrevenge]

I think everyone ranting about dating future objects with carbon-14 are forgetting that the thing being carbon dating needs to actually HAVE some carbon in it. You can't carbon date a metal statue.

[eits1986]

@bobdolesrevenge

Yes, because metals have no carbon.

WTF?

[demonicspire1]

@eits1986 au contrere, steel is iron + carbon

[eits1986]

@demonicspire1

google search"sarcasm"

[demonicspire1]

@eits1986 google search "eat me dickweed".

[eits1986]

@demonicspire1

Yes it's my fault you're an exhibitionist of your own vast intellect.

[demonicspire1]

@eits1986 exactly. Thank you for aknowledging your fault in this matter. Remember, whatever the problem, education is the answer.

[RootARC]

@bobdolesrevenge

Hmmm, IIRC, most metals have some degree of carbon in them. In their purest forms, like pure aluminum, pure steel, pure titanium or pure gold, would be very soft and would be assumed to not have carbon. Iron and Steel actually have small amounts of carbon that are part of the forging process; 0.2% and 2.1% by weight for Steel, and maybe <0.2% for Iron. You could carbon date the metal, but it might be difficult.

[mistereveready]

@bobdolesrevenge They learned science from the same school as Kent Hovind.

[Igatone]

♪in the year 5000♪

[pretorious700]

I love the way MST3K fans get their knickers all knotted with preposterous science in these old films-heck, I even do it myself. You must admit it heightens the comedy.

[ashburn247]

now there is an interesting line read

[halfmanhalfmetal]

"Oh. Your dog called, said to kill your family."

[halfmanhalfmetal]

Miss Blake is a vortex of pleasantness. Her soul is made of rose scented marshmallows. She has an "Oh, my..." that could kill most men.

[nightowl685]

@halfmanhalfmetal yes indeed, shes just too sweet:)

[AladerPoop78]

She needs to control her rage.

[tedirelan]

7:35 Proof that Hertz is a company worth investing in!

[scifivids]

Carbon date this :) Carbon dating doesn't date metal.

[TimelordR]

If i hear 1 more irrational comment about carbon dating, i'm throwing somebody under a camel!

[whoisdickieschnabel]

What I appreciate about this segment, is that there are obvious scientific flaws but the mst3k guys note the starving artist painting hanging in a museum curator's office is most ridiculous. <3

[deelah71]

Woman equals dumb!

[DAVIDInitiative]

Let's try that scene, AGAIN!!

[RadarKat73080]

You can land an aircraft on that haircut.

[57buickcentury]

First known movie to feature an Edsel - can't believe the boys didn't riff on it!

[LonewolfSojourner]

@57buickcentury

Well they did make the "Terror from the year 5000 turns out to be a Ford with bad brakes" joke.

[HackneySack]

Ah, MST3k fans. Where else on Youtube would this must rage be generated by a misunderstanding of a scientific procedure?

"Would you stop SCREAMING at me, Ms Blake, god!"

[IliyaMoroumetz]

@HackneySack

But that, my friend, is what makes them awesome. They cut through the ego and pretentiousness of the movie's writers and directors with the Gleaming Sword of Truth (+5 Str and Agi), and do battle against the forces of Ignorance!!

[didgeboy287]

@IliyaMoroumetz I think the Gleaming Sword of Truth also has protection against X4 'cause I certainly feel the patented Hinder-90 in this episode.

[whoisdickieschnabel]

@HackneySack thinking the same thing HS...and laughing all the while. :)

[obscuritylord]

I feel like mentioning that they completely failed at figuring out how carbon dating works. It actually only figures out how old something is. So, it is impossible to get a negative result.

[Assasin2]

Is their anyway you can adjust the volume with a re-upload? that damn womens screaming never seems to not be annoying loud!

[Dulcimerist]

This Carbon 14 idiocy reminds me of the RADAR idiocy from an earlier MST3K episode's movie! LOL

[pytko3]

"Remember, when making a dramatic film, be sure to use Genuine actors."

[KMxHearts]

What the hell did he do? Count the rings on the inside of the statue?

[Somebudders]

"How did you know my name?"

"You're Mrs. Lady right?"

[scunythescou]

Well people are arguing over the inaccuracy of the use of carbon dating. The fact the guy used time travel is completely ok though.

[HalfreckJG]

@scunythescou If they talked about everything that's wrong with this movie they'd be typing all day lol:)

[cecilrickets]

"Drive not ready: Abort Retry Fail"

[PirateLordRogan]

@cecilrickets Unrecoverable disk error. Data may be lost.

[Drez26]

@cecilrickets big-time fail :P

[linoleumcarving]

life will be all black and white in the year 5000.

[sindiva]

who cares how inaccurate a B-movie is?

[Kinemacolour]

Also, I don't think carbon-14 dating works on inorganic material.

[vintagegirl31]

"would you stop screaming at me Miss Blake?! God!" i love the not even subtle joke about her way too quiet voice.

[Skandranon2148]

Hah, reverse carbon dating. Best misuse of science in an MST3k movie since Radar Secret Service.

[Pugfudgy]

repeat to yourself its just a show i should really just relax

[lolronilol]

Wouldn't Carbon dating just show how old something was on the date it was sparklered into the future?

[Trodlgrimm]

"We have a rental, it`s an Edsel. You keep it."

[OzzyFan87]

Martin Bormann stock car racer

[SlairMongrel]

01:48 "Frah-jeelay."

[lonelysith66]

"Tell me, my deadly little girlfriend..."

Crow: Will you marry me?

XD

[CaptEoNinja83]

Why must you spew your rage?

[applebonker141]

"Gimme 20, statue!"

That statue reminds me of Marcel Duchamp's "Nude Descending Staircase no. 2"

3:47 No need to rough up the damn statue, geez!

"Drive not ready. Retry. Fail. Abort."

"Squeezably soft."

[feverdeanmg]

Duchamp would have loved this show.

[applebonker141]

@feverdeanmg Fun to think about :)

[geoentronecromancer]

"Alright Miss Blake, have it your way."

"I'll have to chase you around the desk now."

For some reason, that line just tickles my funny bone a bit more than the other jokes in this part--and that's saying something, since they belt out some really good ones to combat this awful, wannabe turd of a movie.  I guess it's because of the mental image of what would happen if the scene really DID play out like that helps.

[ChevyTrucks352]

Should he really be driving that way in an Edsel?

[GusF]

"Michael, why won't you answer me?"

[hippiechik95]

- "You have proof that I am not insane."

- Love, Mom.

rofl!

[AnnoyingSquib]

It's called carbon dating you stupid twit! Geeze stop making women look bad. The movies of this era do it enough as it is. And you CAN'T use carbon dating on a futuristic object. Carbon dating, is a radiometric dating method that uses the naturally occurring radioisotope carbon-14 (14C) to determine the age of carbonaceous materials up to about 58,000 to 62,000 years! Damn I think I need to calm down.

Sorry about my rant but geez!

[icrityourpants]

@AnnoyingSquib it was a good rant

[HeroPrinnyDood]

@AnnoyingSquib obviously they used carbon dating in the negative zone

[TheBloodiedAngel]

@AnnoyingSquib virgin

[freewill51]

@AnnoyingSquib Easy! This movie is about 50 years old. I don't think they can hear you. It's called THE PAST.

[ChaoticYak]

Fra-jee-lay!

Is that a reference A Christmas Story?

[lamoonaniteowl]

i date future carbon all the time

[sexyscholar]

Ugh, the pseudoscience make my brain ache.

[keen14you]

The secretary sounds aggressively pleasant...  XD

[uw1LL0b3y]

Am I the only one who finds the secretary's voice annoying? She sounds like she's talking through her nose....

[420Travesty]

He used CARBON DATING to determine that it was from THE FUTURE!? Please someone else realize how impossible and stupid that is. If it was from the future, he'd find it's age from the moment it was created in the future! Carbon dating doesn't go into negative numbers!! WTF!?

[Schesso]

Yeah, that popped out at me too. But hey, that's why it's here, getting riffed.

[CptFoxMcCloud]

@420Travesty

I noticed this flaw too, I was like "....Woooow fail", but seriously, do you hear cartoon music inside your head?

[rowsdowr2]

@420Travesty Yeah, that occurred to me immediately too. Once again, proving that all old sci fi movie "scientists" are completely full of crap. Case closed. Feels good, don't it?

[fuckittyfuckall]

Sure you could use it: you'd only need to know the relative amount of atmospheric C14 for the next 3000 years. Easy as pie

[116Bears]

@420Travesty

He is also a Nuclear Physicist trying to solve time travel. I would not think too hard about it.

[77Lupin1]

@420Travesty Science FROM THE YEAR 5000!

[EternalGuardian07]

@420Travesty Just imagine. If the writers actually knew something about science, this movie probably wouldn't exist.

[MrGrevy]

@420Travesty Of course you can - the futuristic object would have decayed that much more, are you really that stupid??

[t0t3n3ng3l]

@420Travesty Yeah... It's a little weird for Carbon 14 to decay backwards.

[garethrns]

@420Travesty Normally I'd say "It's just a show you should probably just relax." But no I'm with you on this one, it's a wild amount of B.S.

[nicocorvus]

@420Travesty Hence why it's so stupid! lol

[GamaScythe]

@420Travesty Hahahahaha I officially love you! Not only does Carbon 14 not do future it also isn't very useful for fairly recent or geologically old things. It has a window.

[chrysopoeia321]

@420Travesty Also, carbon dating doesn't work very well for metals. It's *carbon* dating, after all. 

[Mrjon314]

Ladies and Gentleman, THE BEATLE!

[jekblom123]

"She needs to deal with her rage." Sheesh!"

[joemomma46]

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU, MAGGOT!"

"Ok, let's try this scene again."

[Oppledeldoc]

I think in that whole office scene they were trying to be Burns and Allen.

[RavnDream]

"He's a 50-foot cyclops!"

[86thPatriot]

"Do not understand why you have not replied to my letters. You have proof I am not insane."

"Love Mom"

"Women equals dumb"

[MisterRiffley]

4:40

if man is still a fleeaaaa........

[WorshipInTruth]

"Grandma likes her Glenlivet".

[rememberization]

FRAGILE!

ROFL

[WorshipInTruth]

My question is how the hell would carbon dating be able to tell that something is from 3000 years in the future?

[carbonlaminate]

right. it's based on the half-life of C14. Also, this assumes that there IS any carbon present in the alloy. Even then, it would have to have organically derived carbon. Also. how could they extract said carbon from what is clearly a metallic statue. AND, when they use the Geiger counter, it reads hot. Taken all together, the writers need a collective cock punch. Back to the movie!

[WorshipInTruth]

Yes, back to the awfully flawed movie.

[EternalGuardian07]

It's funny that the stupid womman knew the exact operation of carbon dating (Found out how old things are) when the guy kept saying it in an ambiguous way (Establish the date of origin).

[WorshipInTruth]

Eternal, you mean she understood what words mean?

[Atrum]

Do you have cartoon music in your head too?

[EricLynchSucks]

That statue they have in this movie looks like something this movie would probably never get...

[Tareltonlives]

I think the producers promised everyone that if they got involved, they would get a little gold statue...

[nougatzimmerframe]

"Renowned Expert in the art of dating Archaeological Objects."

What a strangely specific and yet simultaneously vague job.

[bitzofdata]

Your dog bone said to kill your family...

[bitzofdata]

He left the airport TWICE!!!!

[bitzofdata]

Wimmen and science don't mix. Wimmen and crewcuts don't mix either! That Uncle Miltie's hot!

[robtom69]

its an Oscar from the future !!

[KrypticAsylum]

"Women = dumb."

Hahah, leave it to MST3K to pick up on a movie bias.

[Nezbitt]

No wonder there's no terror, everything they're getting is from 5200. The terror really let itself go over those 200 years from 5000.

[fordieform]

did they just use the carbon half life to find out that the statue comes from the future?

-hero

[nut126]

AAAAGH!!!! A statue!!! Is this the TERROR from the year 5000?!

[biogunproductions]

"Hey, Alfred Hitchcock."

[shiftyjake]

She needs to deal with her rage.

[BlueKyne]

LOL "Do you have cartoon music playing in your head, too?"

It's almost as if the movie was expecting Buggs Bunny to come sneaking around! (^_^)

[theblackwolf72]

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU, MAGGOT!"

[Cosmoline]

"There's a haircut you could set your watch to" Grandma Simpson

[buffypython]

"I'll have to chase you around the desk now."

"But I slashed your tires."

"Do you have cartoon music playing in your head, too?"

The guy at 5:24 sounds like Father Mulcahy!

"Drive not ready. Abort. Retry. Fail."

"Let's try this scene again."

[GunshyPigeon]

wow he does sound like Father Mulcahy!! lol

I'm so thinking suicide myself aswell.... lol

[PhilWithCoffee]

"I can't wait to see the Mapplethorpe exhibit" I just about spit my drink out when they said that, that was too funny!

[shiftyjake]

Sorry, ions. Carbon ions.

[Athaeus]

It's atoms. Carbon-14 is an isotope.

[shiftyjake]

Meh. Shows what I know :)

[shiftyjake]

I love how he's sitting at his desk with pen and paper, like he's counting the carbon atoms by hand and tallying them up.

[B5RobMan]

"Seven hundred sixty five thousand, four hundred ninety two...Seven hundred sixty five thousand, four hundred ninety three...Seven hundred sixty five thousand, four hundred ninety five..No--four. Wait. Oh, no..."

[B5RobMan]

CARBON DATING DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!

[wwmadi]

yeah! that sculpture obviously isn't made of organic material, so it couldn't be dated

[Tareltonlives]

And you can't date anything FORWARD in time.

[EternalGuardian07]

Yeah...We know. We've been over this so much, but there's nothing we can do about it.

[damnyoustamos]

I was 15 the first time I saw this, and I knew that. What's the screenwriter's excuse?

[Fabsun]

@B5RobMan The makers of the movie probably were creationists...

[pytko3]

@Fabsun Or more than likely, they just didn't care.

[Mandi7882]

"I can't wait to see the Maplethorpe exhibit!" LOL!!

[PascalHoomiku]

Ah, the 1950's view of what science would be like today is just so quaint, isn't it? Big featureless boxes covered with blinking lights and reel-to-reel tape spools, that's the FUTURE!

[AeolianDust]

"I can't wait to see the Mapplethorpe exhibit!"

[KaterzTheMSTie]

The scene at 8:30 reminds me of Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders, when the bland suburban dad man is driving with the toy monkey in his car.

[Gomess]

Oh, women! What WON'T they do!

[GenjyoSanzoOTS]

I'm stuck in reverse, save yourselves!

[GoblinXXX]

To paraphrase Morbo on Futurama- CARBON DATING DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!!!

[Dragmack]

I DETECT JOLLY-TIME!!!

...Ok, let's try this scene again!

Terror from the year 5,000 turned out to be an old Ford with bad brakes.

[Ayria]

Oh god, the Maplethorpe exhibit!

[Dragmack]

nothing but pentacles, firearms, dead pigs, and Schwarzeneggers as far as the eye can see!

[popecorkyI]

Dr. Robert Hedges: Curator

...and former Sweathog

[livinintwilightzone]

I'm sorry but him trusting her to do all that is either very brave or very foolish on his part...

[Nezbitt]

Would you stop SCREAMING AT ME, Miss Blake, God!

[livinintwilightzone]

Her fury is just terrifying!

[GoblinXXX]

She needs to deal with her rage.