Gilbert Gottfried- Dirty Jokes Part 1

[coreymotherfuckingri]

....9:00 he stole that joke from eddie murphy

[mcradloff]

I like him in Problem Child and Problem Child 2

[xXKillaBoiXx]

one time I fucked a dog

[JoeyNewgrounds]

Iago.

[Himineejimineee]

I don't get the Thursday joke.  What happens on Thursdays in jail?

[nirvana1itall]

@Himineejimineee they are going to have sex with each other, because its a common stereotype that people in prison get raped.

[leannwheeland]

@Himineejimineee haha- thursday is when they have anal sex..thats why when he asked him if he was homosexual and when the convict said no..thats why he said he wasn't going to like thursdays

[LIBREPUB]

Old jokes, but holy shit, so funny.

[ChrisDoll44]

view number 47,000!!!! whoo hoo, go me. I'll celebrate with a beer. I'm already watching gilbert gottfried - it can't get much worse.

[MrJackassPenguin]

The premise of the show was for him to present the dirtiest jokes, not his own material. Most comics now have routines instead of jokes.

[AnImageBeneathMe]

2 dislikes - from the jew and the dead hooker.

[MsTemptist]

Rodney Dangerfield, Richard Pryor, and Lawanda Page are my FAVORITE comedians. I just added Gilbert Grottfried to the list :)

[thirdeye7777]

i grossed ALLL my friends out with the dead hooker joke :D . the funniest thing that almost all of them laughed and gagged at the same time :D :D

[NumberKool18]

ASF brought me here

[admiralzoog]

at 7:20 family guy stole this joke

[BuriedTreasure255]

@admiralzoog Fail.

[TheOmar]

lol, i love when he explained his "2nd time" joke.

[bluetextonwhitebg]

I hate that quote at the beginning and all people who automatically assume that those who use profanity are "feeble-minded". Oh, really? So, suddenly I'm the one who is immature and intellectually weak because YOU are still dumb enough to believe in the idea that they are "bad" words. Just because your mommy & daddy taught you this before you even knew what your own fucking name was does not make it true. It only gives you an unfounded reason to be a pious, condescending twat your entire life.

[gamrage]

@bluetextonwhitebg Well.. The quote is stated at the beginning of this video as an ironic joke. This guy does a lot of them.. If you want to randomly state your opinion, try not to make yourself seem intelligent without even watching the video. Your ignorance is beyond bliss, it's ecstasy.. If you want more of it, don't grief people, just stab someone like the rest of the crack addicts.

[bluetextonwhitebg]

@gamrage In no way did I even remotely insult Gottfried. A dog with Down Syndrome could conjure up a more rational thought than what you just said to me.

[Manusturbo]

@gamrage bluetextonwhitebg was insulting the person from which the joke originated from, not Gilbert, genius. If you want to randomly state your opinion about what someone else said, try not to make yourself seem intelligent without even comprehending what the other person meant. Your ignorance is beyond bliss, it's ecstacy... if you want more of it, don't grief people, just (insert generic insult here)

[reza2468]

Love Gilbert, but how many jokes are stolen?

[shorty4e]

@reza2468 Almost all of them lol

[conductor5001]

@Mizakzee its a gay joke you stay on a Greek ass

[conductor5001]

I love his joke

[DisappointingPorn]

...but...you can get Tuberculosis from fucking too.

[andrejpghpens]

wow, tough crowd ...

[stoopidguys2010]

I want to open a f***ing bank account too!

[welovenorman1]

At 2:20 in the background a lady says "I don't get it" thumbs up if u heard it

[suckyourmum]

@welovenorman1 lol i actually don't get it as well...

[suckyourmum]

@suckyourmum his jokes are actually ridiculously illogical

[Vevoplzsuckmyballs]

@suckyourmum altiemers is a disease where you have short term memory loss

[isetmfriendsofire]

@welovenorman1 XD WTF, who couldn't get that.

[genemeyer408]

This man is a genuis

[tideivlife1]

Greeks have forever had the stigma of homosexuality attached to them, as some of the earliest records of this behavior are from Greece. Sooo..."never leave your buddies behind". A play on the word buddie(')s

[mizakzee]

I don't get the Greek army joke, or the headache let's fuck joke.

[EuphoniaPooch]

you don't?



[TheMegachops]

@mizakzee ...well I'm confused as you are about the Greek joke...

...but women for generations have used the excuse 'I have a head-ache' to get out of having sex with their husbands. So, as a pre-emptive strike, the husband has removed the opportunity for her to use this excuse, which I am assuming has been one that she's used for a long time. Also, have you noticed how unfunny jokes are when they're explained?

[tearscratch31]

legend

[smartguy301]

can he open his eyes?

[dirtyasswhiteboy]

her nose kept running ,that means she 's full 2-(funny) take that bitch...

[ricarleite]

"She's probably full" - Gilbert's the king

[roryfitzpatric]

I would like Thursday.

[iHairybug]

Can someone please explain the "Greek" joke that begins around 10:59 to me?... I honestly don't get it, sorry if this is a stupid question, lol.

[BarakaObama2012]

@iHairybug Ancient Greeks were boy-lovers.

[ilovedaftpunk55]

I'm sorry but whats thursday in Jail?

[zakfett92]

it's funny. i'll listen to this without looking at the screen, and i'll pretend it's iago doing it.

[FattieAcidProduction]

IAGO!

[druha10304]

2:20 - 2:31 the words 'i dont get it' obviously muttered by a woman in the crowd.

[urariotalice]

sometimes it takes a long time to grow up..........or like G.G. soooo funny now that he's older

[urariotalice]

Gilbert:"how do you get a FAG to fuck a woman????.....FILL her CUNT full of SHIT!!!"...nyuknyuk

[yungmoney922]

I swear it takes real skills to get up and tell REAL jokes.. This man is great..

[heatbucspies55]

I don't even know why, but I thought the genie thing was really funny.

The thing about Gilbert Gottfried is his style is a lot different than other comedians, I like that.

[cinemapsycho91]

"When this tape is finished, it'll be shown on PBS."

- Gilbert Gottfried

HE HE HA HA HO HO!!!

[chimproller]

A comedians comedian...

[DRAGO6596]

It starts at 1:38



[DRAGO6596]

i dont get teh first joke chase her around the bed and if she coughs fuckher?

[garretisdaddy]

@DRAGO6596 haha you dont cough if you have vd only tb

[wb40slim]

2:21 "I don't get it"- some idiot

[jonesey5168]

I dont like thursdays either

[jonesey5168]

AAAAAFLAAAAACKKK!!!

[TheDude886]

a comedian telling jokes and not stories :D

[Electr0World]

Haha Eddie Murphy used that bear and rabbit joke for delirious xD

[emosucks89]

@Jactation2011 Don't lie, you thought it was funny

[emosucks89]

@Jactation2011 Well, it sounds like you got my point, so it's legitimate... AND you laughed! I guess my "sarcasm or humor" was spot on.

[ChrJahnsen]

@Jactation2011

Honestly, man. If you don't fnid this funny, then I feel sorry for you. I just watched all 4 videos, and I don't recall when I last laughed as much as this.

[emosucks89]

@Jactation2011 British humor... You mean like a man wearing women's clothing?

[masterbawth]

@Jactation2011 jolly good then

[Kreloar]

Always when I hear this voice, I hear Iago.

[kmcintyre87]

i hate his voice but omg i died lol'ing here

[xMarryTheNightx]

Iago :)

[darkshadowking666]

what happens on friday ??

[BouillonCubeNoob1]

@darkshadowking666 We gotta get down on Friday.

[pgbruiser]

VERY underrated comic. I watched his Showtime Special on-demand a few years back. I think this is part of it.

Anyways, he had me in tears. Before I saw that special I thought he was just a weird little guy with a loud mouth, living off USA Up-All Night nostalgia, rinky dink film gigs, & a mediocre Seinfeld impersonation.

Boy, was I wrong! This guy is the master of the "dirty joke" and has impeccable comedic timing. Really, his timing is off the charts untouchable. You cant teach that ya know.

[Kruzpez]

Too bright for him....bad light set up.

[bubbiesdad]

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, this one is more tasteful.

[HailDaFins]

I want to open a fuckin bank account.

[MDG401]

I don't think anyone else could tell these jokes the same way =P

[movieaddict19]

Thanks so much for the upload, youtube better not fuck with this

[bitzofdata]

@movieaddict19 You said it! Gilbert is a fuckin' genius!

[bitzofdata]

@movieaddict19 What kind of fuckin' bank account?

[TheCanaanknight]

that profanity quote do u know who said it. Also, I like gottfried. Wish he was my dad. 

[Timoth1983]

Gilbert was still dying his hair

[XxExoNine]

Gilbert for the win

[frogger72192]

What a clever man

[commanderbige]

Thank you good sir. So much win.