Report: Most College Males Admit To Regularly Getting Stoked

[yodellikeyoumeanit09]

I started getting stoked when I was 15

[henrybs14]

stoked? Is this another name for getting stoned?

[xtensitymusic]

@henrybs14 It means excited

[rrekydoc]

"And now he's dead! Well I assume he is."

[bleeseq]

this is a joke right?

[FloydIV]

@bleeseq No. The Onion is a highly respected news organization with several prestigious awards.

[JSasRays]

@bleeseq if youre serious, please dont reproduce

[monterrey0love]

I would absolutely NOT be that!

[lolshark360]

there stoned and stoked

[DevNulZor]

"Dude dude! Try these nachos!" lol :P

[greatauntprune]

Hahahahha so great

[howaboutjenna]

LOL

[ihazkittens]

I'm 17 and I am stoked. :P

[Flowerchild163]

@ihazkittens Same here!!!

[abusivemomba]

"Have you ever seen anyone who is stoked? They're like dude dude... try these nachos"

[twallKOS]

@abusivemomba thank you for that.

[iJustFlyDammit]

@luckylife6

From when YouTube had the snow feature for winter...it made all videos get covered with like snowflakes...

[TheSouthernGentMan]

IT'S THE SIENNA FAMILY DAD!

[fermerwuvu]

Stoked!!

[Juanbautistaize]

AA is the solution

[JBehnen]

Wicked report! I'M SO STOKED RIGHT NOW! YEAH!

[MatthewSandberg]

This is the best one hahaha!

[shutdowntown1122]

DUDE, DUDE!! TRY THESE NACHOS !!!

[DashOfRainbow]

I get stoked every day.

[0lotr1freak2]

It's a sad, sad day when young people can run around getting stoked in public.

It's just indecent.

[disgustipated707]

some weird lookin tree HAHAHA

[SuperWarking]

Having a hard time finding things to get stoked about :(

[PensFan35]

"Dude dude, try these nachos!"

Classic.

[ikosabre]

I wish my life was just one big fucking trip every day.

[GazAnders69]

@ikosabre

don't we all :P

[eidius1989]

is this fake? *sarcasm*

[fosterslover]

@eidius1989

Sarcasm is not just saying something stupid and putting *sarcasm* at the end. Better luck next time.

[eidius1989]

@fosterslover Thank you professor, I never knew that.

[RiSkMoDz]

Replace stocked, with high

[mattnew33]

Is.....is this shit popular in the US?

[10INTM]

@mattnew33 Do you mean The Onion? It has it's niche among certain fans. WAIT!! You don't actually mean about getting stoked, right? It's not a real news story; it's all satire.

[BCdipper1]

just found out my life isnt as fucked as i thought it was and im not going into poverty, im sooo stoked i had to come watch this video... FUCKING YES FUCKING YES FUCKING YES FUCKING YES

[WaterCrystalline]

No wonder... American Teenagers are a bunch of dumb-asses. Thank god for natural selection.

[HiIeric117]

@WaterCrystalline Funny, its been a few generation, yet here we are. At least I can figure out what to capitalize in a sentence. Anyways, I have to say, if you're seriously basing your opinion on a video from the Onion, well, that's just said.

[WaterCrystalline]

@HiIeric117 "...that's just said"Funny, you're complaining about my grammar errors. And no, I'm not basing myself on a video from them. Take a look around you. I'm sure you'l realize that over 70% of male teenagers out there, are either only using their dicks to think, or plain dumb. Of course, there are exceptions, thankfully.

[HiIeric117]

@WaterCrystalline That's fine. I don't have anything against that opinion because it is actually kind of true. I do have a problem with you making ridiculous generalizations like most every other anti-American hypocrite out there today.

[WaterCrystalline]

@HiIeric117 I may have exagerated a bit. I did not mean to generalize. It is obvious that there are bright minds everywhere... just as there are unworthy ones as well. I'm simply pointing out some of America's flaws. I can point out some of my own country's flaws as well if you'ld like me to. Look... I'm not anti-American. I'm just analyzing reality, and stating the obvious. I don't stand for a particular country. I stand for what's right :)

[HiIeric117]

@WaterCrystalline Fair enough. Let's put this behind us then. 

[QCmaxthebeast]

@WaterCrystalline Complaining about american teenagers on a joke video.

Derp.

[LavaXxXLamp]

lmfao at first i thought it was legit but when that guy stood up on the table i knew it was a parody xD

[metalxshredxhead13]

They're like dude, dude... Try these Nachos.

[OddOpinion]

I laughed so loud when she said " AND NOW HES DEAD!" "He is?" "Well I assume he is."

[HolzmannsKnogar]

Wh... oh... i thought i was watchin Fox News... but then things started to make sense, sort of.

[RasKiddo]

stoked stoked stoked stoked....FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU­!!!!!

[TomChesterson]

WHERE MY FUCKIN HOMIES AT?

[tsjappie123456]

I miss these panels :(

[strangelycutlemon]

I bet you anything Nancy is a black guy in a wig

[ashliebelle]

I got stoked at church :X

[zackb951]

The first news anchor chick is the Onions worst actor.

[cyblur]

im getting stoked right now.. so fucking sweeeet

[ajcv44]

Haa i rofl'ed at that one !

[ieatdabubbles]

LOL wth...

[Linaeth]

Bahahaha...I loved this one.

[HighlyOpiated]

WHERE MY FUCKING HOMIES AT

[scarletrhubarb]

i miss nancy :(

[gerfall]

Dude, dude, TRY THESE NACHOS.

When I'm stoked, I don't share food.

[christinasmiless]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[demoman925]

this is classic haha

[4gotusername]

When I first read the title of the video, I thought they were using "Stoked" as a way to saying high or stoned.

[andyhmltn]

There's always someone filling in for someone else at the onion.. :(

[Technosauce]

Dude; stoke city!

[alliencedful]

are they talking about getting stoned?

[smrtsk8er]

@alliencedful No they are talking about getting stoked

[alliencedful]

@smrtsk8er in a lot of the occasions where they use the word stoked and you replace it by stoned it fits. In some occasions it doesn't thats why i asked it

[WickedDealer]

@alliencedful No shit

[alliencedful]

@WickedDealer moron

[petermello55]

@alliencedful are you simple... it's what they're implying...

[alliencedful]

@petermello55 Sure i'm simple. + 1 internet victory for you, moron.

[scheff111]

WHERE MY FUCKING HOMIES AT?

[Blobface07]

Princess Celestia!

[7fiLthy7]

"Fucking yes! Fucking yes! Fucking yes! Fucking yes!" LOL

[raramstad]

@7fiLthy7 three times, not 4. l2count

[gypsymagicalltheway]

It's a sweet sun!

[Mrmoochbag]

fuck yeah god damn bitching whoores

[oilersman95]

"Now he's dead! Or I assume he is."

[iJustFlyDammit]

They need to fix their roof. Its snowing in the studio.

[luckylife6]

@iJustFlyDammit care to explain?

[Nycutie4ever]

@pandawin1 Grow up and get over it!

[Fake1904]

so much better than the new videos

[MCBSMITH89]

and NOW HE'S DEAD

Really?

Well i assume he is...

[drzmdbp]

fake

[player18792]

Ok so how many people thought it said "stroked"....

[Bridagierz]

I read the title as "stroked". Boy I must be sick minded.

[bashie34]

Call 911 lmao that is classic

[catifayette]

"And now he's dead ! ...well, I assume he is."

haha

[biff10426]

Fucking yes, fucking yes, fucking yes.

[SmokinChiva]

a minute in ... I figure it out.

[SmokinChiva]

Is this a joke

[MammothStar]

@SmokinChiva no

[XDXDXDXDXDXDXD]

@SmokinChiva It's the most serious thing you've ever seen.

[charlesnotprince]

I loved Nancy: "It's dangerous and annoying!" LOL.

[1120yankees]

nancy dont hate man

[ChristopherFiola]

''It's a sweet sun... ahh.. "

[nathanielbell92]

i'm British what the hell is stoked?? lol

dont give me a retarded answer even though you think this maybe a retarded question!!! XD

[Blackbeltjawa]

@nathanielbell92 Stoked is when you get excited, or too excited, for something.

[shotsky94]

@nathanielbell92 fucking limey...

[abiriax]

@nathanielbell92

I'm guessing it's american teenager parlance for being very exited!

[JacobsFishtanks]

Fagz

[bcarman14]

WHERE MY FUCKIN HOMIES AT?!?!

[AdmiralBetas]

Funny they should mention U of M, we have a student newspaper that's basically a different version of the Onion. That article at 1:15 could have been in there lol

[shotsky94]

@AdmiralBetas miami sucks....

[AdmiralBetas]

@shotsky94 I dunno, maybe, but I was talking about Michigan. :/

[RhythmicAlice]

I used get stoked until i took an arrow to the knee.

[pewpewlololo]

@RhythmicAlice lame fucking joke

[Xzazazazia]

@pewpewlololo It could be worse. It could make zero sense like 90% of those jokes.

[jofis912]

faek



[Lightboxes]

I heard the word stoked so much that I'm starting to think it's not a word.

[Shenaniganschalbeezy]

Onion news network u have done it agin and now I'm stoked for more videos

[g3tfck3dn3rd]

where my fucking homies at!!!!!!

[supraguy2jzgte]

LMAO HAHAHAHAHA NICE!!!!!

[dwaynoinsano]

"Nancy, don't hate man."

[shortygothimgood]

so is it a type of sun (sweet) or does the old dude just think it looks SWEET ?

[saradomindaman]

wow.. did anyone else notuce at the start it says "SINCE 1986" wtf.....

[pancakewafflebacon]

price of barrel LOL

[tacospartan]

AND NOW HE'S DEAD or i assume he is...

[plazas94]

AND NOW HE'S DEAD

[LeninsBoyToy44]

hahahahahahha sooooo stocked

[MisterVish]

FUCK YEAH!!! GET STOKED!!!

[SuperChucknorris22]

I showed this to my mom and she got insanely stoked

[Bisondoof]

Why you gotta hate Jessica?

[XRedxEyedxWandererX]

Since 1896 bahahahaha

[whataboutredlorry]

Play me out shorty....

[lttben]

"well, I assume he's dead!"

[MrSeagull16]

lol "fucking yes fucking yes fucking yes" XD

[BlueBat101]

I thought the title said "stroked"

[CofinKido]

Haaahahaha >_<

[SlowAndSteady2]

"Well I assume he is."

[ngmaze]

fucking yes fucking yes fucking yes

[orly444]

How the fuck can they do this stuff with a straight face?

[dr3a4lyfe]

@orly444 that's the same thing I ask when I watch these videos lol..

[goatcheese1984]

Price of barrels $52 a barrel!

[ILoveMeSomeWaffles23]

"Dude, dude! Try these nachos!"



[pandawin1]

@ILoveMeSomeWaffles23 Wow, you unbelievable douche, just quoting them to get top comment. go fuck yourself

[Winterascent]

And now he;s dead! Well I assume he is.

[1234yersiman]

I used to be stoked, but then I took and arrow to the knee

[Digsy7]

This is, by far, the biggest loss from IFC...

Come on! WHERE MY FUCKIN' CLIFFORD BAINES SUBSTITUTES AT?!?

[WilchersWorkshop]

I'm just stoned.

[fizzizat]

being a boarder i have said most of those phrases haha

[P0XF0X]

WHERE MY FUCKING HOMIES AT?

[kuroregal]

If you know a university student who gets his tuition paid by his parents. He most likely is a chronic stroker.

[thekingofmoney2000]

@kuroregal I think most college students get at least some tuition payed by their parents...

[MusicKicksYourBack]

<3 Stoked 4 Winter <3

[PensFan35]

"Dude! Dude! Try these nachos!"

Totally irrelevant. Classic.

[Jbb615]

IM FUCKING STOKED FOR WATCHING THIS VIDEO.

[MaGmaRinE]

OMFG WTF IS THIS

[LoveisMyWeaponn2]

And now he's dead....well I assume he is!

[GERMANCRAPPER]

Getting stoked is the shit, those news reporters should try it! hahaha

[h0rnd0917]

LMAO DON'T WATCH TV GET STOKED ABOUT HBO!!!!

[TheVideoSoup]

WHERE MY FUCKIN' HOMIES AT?

[MrBrabbit81]

Well I assume he is

[bigboydubstep]

dude,dude,try these nachos.haha best part.

[TroyTastical]

Cant stop laughing at the nachos line holy shit hahaha

[niklasthesinger]

dude dude try these nacho's

[thehasan1212]

I hate that old lady whats with her face why does she keeps looking like that fucking bitch get a dick in your face..freaking bukake up in dis bitch!

[KramerUSA]

WHERE MY FUCKIN HOMIES AT?

[jekennamer]

weird looking trees

[baseballchk27]

"Theyre like dude, dude, try these nachos." hahahah

[angryibexx]

310 people are not stoked.

[Umbraeku]

"It's DANGEROUS and annoying!!!!!!!"

>:C

Lmao

[1234yersiman]

I am stoked for skyrim!

[matzoball101]

@1234yersiman

faggot pussy nerd

[cheapmovies9P]

@matzoball101 Look out everyone! We got a badass right here

[matzoball101]

@cheapmovies9P

better believe it fag

[samc967]

I'm getting stoked just watching this fuck yea

[liz4493]

i honestly never knew how much we used slang lke that....man i get stoked everyday too!!!...

fucking yes fucking yes fucking yes