R8. Anger Management through Anger Fasts: Part 2

[russianengland31]

Thanks for your wise words.

[kioshimaku]

i work at night and i get people who come in very angry. they ofter start cursing at me because im in the restroom or i cant cash a check for them. i just want to know how can i control my angry towards their stupidity? because its hard to ignore them by myself in that place, and i keep getting angry about it. i can loose my job.

[onesportwonder24]

carry a gun

[spulkagent47]

No no no no no no no! It is not easier to forgive if the person hurts you because they are deluded. That simply makes me think that person should be destroyed because they are unable to function properly in society.

[onesportwonder24]

you must be a real snapshow

[Manicpanicanticant]

Each flame brings another flame

wish ther was just an off switch for it

in a book of deeds everyone'll have something evil under their name

after i hate seeing the drooling spit

even when i don't feel it, it is burning

it's so hard to remove, it's so deep inside

it's like a fifty pound weight on a one inch string

each time i let it out a heavenly flame has died.

[onesportwonder24]

idiot

[berkeleybenje]

"Humans are not intentionally evil"?! I don't believe that.

[peterpandoer]

They may do evil things intentionally, but they are not ever evil. You might as well call a stone evil.

[berkeleybenje]

Peterpandoer, A stone may lie but it cannot tell a lie. :0)

[mesa134]

Humans will act out on their ideas and believes we label them as evil or good when in fact their just delusional their not good or evil inherently.Infact someone evil could be labelled as someone righteous to another person for example green peace things whale hunters are evil while their family thinks they're good cause they need income and without it there will be no food for the family..

[mesa134]

Its all just labels dont get attach to them..Please defend yourself if someone tries to harm you im not saying dont do anything about it when you see someone you believe is doing something wrong..If i was green peace i would stop this whale hunters if i was the hunters i would defend my rights ..

[danny66gti]

hi great videos ,u seem to reply to ppl about the problems they have so i'll try to im 21 and and i have a anger problem...everytime i meet whit my mom(a couple time a year)we always argue and i just want to let it go..but i cant i know it is not much info but if u reply i'll go into detalies

[peterpandoer]

Old fights are more difficult to stop than new fights. So first excercize anger sadhana with all other people you meet, so that your neural patterns and biochemical patters move away from anger. Then it will become less difficult to handle your mother. Also, dont expect her not to pick a fight with you - she has the same pattern problem. Rather, except her to do it and be ready to stay nice, ignoring whatever aggressive thing she does. That might turn her around also.

[danny66gti]

thx for the reply i'll try to take your advice but can u xplain to me anger sadhana so i know where to start becose i am tired of the fights whit her ..i'm 21 and i cant remember ever beeing ok whit my mom.she raised me alone ,never meet my dad and i think she is taking her anger out on me becose he didnt stick around..so she starts acting up end i never can shut up and take it ..but i do want to try but i just snap when she raises her voice at me

[shopaholic1]

Hi Peter, I'm a 25 yo female and my temper is affecting my relationships (at the moment with my boyfriend) i tend to overreact by raising my voice or even shouting at him not always but it happens, my boy can't stand it hes drifting away cos of this.. i tend to regret what i've done 5 minutes later (obviously it's too late)i dont know what to do, is it because im sensitive that i tend to overreact?? I dont know what triggers it or why i get so worked up .. thanks so much

[slickflicks]

when i come to think about it,the actual source of the problem was when i stuck up for friends against other people, but when i was the one suffering all my friends forgot about it and betrayed me, this was why i was feeling depressed, but now ive learnt not to expect anything from anybody thanks to your videos, but do you think next time i should stick up for my friends or let them deal with their own problems because i find it hard not to help other people who need it.

[peterpandoer]

If you help them without expecting them to help you, then you are really doing something of value. All else is to be avoided.

[slickflicks]

thankyou peter for sharing your knowledge with me, i really respect you for that.

[slickflicks]

peter you didnt reply back to me.

[peterpandoer]

Sorry Slickfits, teachings as a hobby can be a lot of work..

The first thing to understand is that what these so-called friends do is their own problem. They would have done it with anybody suitable. You can also make it your own problem, but that really is a matter of choice. Of course, I understand it is not easy. You live in this situation many hours every day. Still, the only way out is not to take it personally. Try to feel sad about it, rather than depressed.

[peterpandoer]

In depression, you still believe that somehow this problem is caused by you, which it is not. In sadness, this problem is caused by the ego of people, which is a universal problem. And some have to suffer beause of it. That you have to suffer this particular ego problem of these people may not seem fair. Still, someone has to

[peterpandoer]

suffer and in truth, this is your own karmic choice. Learn from it. Cultivate inner happiness and peace - that may be your lesson in this. The heaviest classes are meanth for the best students, so you certainly have a chance to turn the problem into an opportunity.

[peterpandoer]

Obviously, you can still try to turn things around. But it seems that it is not easy for you to prove people that you are not guilty of whatever you are accused. Then you must prove it by being a good person, not going out of your way to do good, but doing good as required by circumstance. Forget about vengance, it will only increase the problem. Know that you are loved, maybe not by these ego's, but by the divine inside everyone, in any case. Love, Peter.

[slickflicks]

today at school my so called "friends" spread a rumour about me which wasnt even true, i dont understand why they did, but for what ever reason it was, they turned all the people in my class against me, i dont know wat 2 do where ever i go people think ime a bad person which i am not!i didnt do anything wrong all i can think is there jelous of me. ime feeling very depressed atm please can u help peter thanks

[slickflicks]

ok thanks peter

[slickflicks]

peter i understand what you mean by try and forgive them, but i find it hard to, this is because i find it hard to believe how even friends can turn on me despite everything i have done for them, its hard to take at times because they do little things to annoy me and get at me and if i ignore them i have no one else to talk 2 in school, so ime left in some awkward situations sumtimes and feel alone.

[slickflicks]

i do well not a express it but i find it hard to disolve my anger, and to stop feeling bad from inside. please reply soon Peter thank you very much.

[peterpandoer]

Please do not suppress the anger. Keeping anger inside is not rasa sadhana. It is suicide. For rasa sadhana to be real, the anger must go, inside and out. To make it that real, you need to be able to forgive and understand that even from friends you can expect nothing. Whatever someone does towards you is not to be taken personally. It has nothing to do with you.

[slickflicks]

HI PETER :D your videos are excellent and truely inspiring

I have one problem and that is i dont know how to deal with the people who are supposed to be my friends dillberatly try and make me feel bad at times and hurt me by making me feel left out, i try not to show them ime angry which works, but i feel very hurt from inside. how do i change that so that weneva they try and do something nasty to me or make me feel left out i can just laugh it off and not get hurt.

Thanks peter

[M7PZ]

Thank you for your wonderful lectures. I believe human beings are weird animals that try to follow a "right-wrong" book instead of just accepting the other.

Question: Any kind of relationship takes two people.I try to put myself in my friend's shoes and be as understanding and forgiving as possible. However - what is the best way to make the other do the same? How can I confront someone without making him feel attacked?

[peterpandoer]

Basically, by playing the ball and not the person - attack the issue, not your friend. And if necessary be very clear about the fact that you do so.

[igmarey]

sorry I can't understand you, you are making no sense and honestly I don't give a crap anymore, so you can continue with deluding people and therefore making evil as you please.

[peterpandoer]

It is quite simple. You have every right to be angry. But it is no duty. And often not very productive. Maybe you need it to do something about whatever goes wrong around you. I dont. All the best, Peter

[M7PZ]

Igmarey, writing this comment only proves how narrow minded you are. What you did is dismiss someone's words, feelings and point of view. You need to accept the fact that not all people think or see things the way you do. These lectures are not trying to make people do anything accept for confronting our inner self.

[igmarey]

I think that you are just helping people to get more alienated and leading them into darkness and that is evil. Like all religions and 'spiritual' groups they are the worst of all evil, abusing, manipulating and polluting the human soul.

[peterpandoer]

Well, sorry that you feel this way. Ignorance has nothing to do with lack of intelligence. With darkness, yes. Disconnection, yes. People hardly need help to be led that way, no. Anyhow, eliminating your anger doesnt make you defenselss against any abuse, spiritually shaped or other, quite the contrary. Forgiving others doesnt mean you can't stop them if you want to. Forgiving other first of all means you are not making the same mistake that they are making. That's making a stand, it is.

[igmarey]

They just can't help it?, that is not much of an answer. Ignorance? Yeah ok I admit that many people are pretty ignorant and fu#%#ng well alienated but in reality that is not a factor, does not make a person more evil. In fact most of the worst evil has been committed consciously and systematically by highly well educated and intelligent people.

I think that you are just helping people to get more alienated and leading them into darkness and that is evil.

[igmarey]

what a twat, 'nobody is evil,nobody is intentionally doing bad things, that is the right of the demons'... sorry but evil is essentially human. no gods or demons, no animals but humans, humans are essentially evil, you don't find evil anywhere else in the universe but in humans.

[peterpandoer]

Of course you are right humans are capable of great evil. Killing each other, destroying the environment, verbal abuse,... But it doesnt make them evil - they just cant help it, basically out of ignorance of many kinds. Wouldn't wish anybody to meet a demon, but you would notice the difference.

[kazablanka]

i have trouble with the whole "feel pity upon him who is deluded". i end up feeling pity upon MYSELF for being hurt by a deluded person, for being friends with a deluded person, for not being able to alter the behavior of this person, for not getting an apology from the person, and ultimately, worst of all, i am angry because i know this will repeat. but it's often a person i love...for many other reasons, traits, qualities that he or she has. how do i reconcile it... i just don't know.

[peterpandoer]

Replace pity with compassion, realizing that we are all having the same problem of being takers sometime and thinking it will actually benefit us.

[dgontar]

Actually there are a good number of people that simply enjoy hurting people. They're called psychopaths, and there are a lot of them in the world today. They're not the majority, but there are a lot of them.

[peterpandoer]

And yet, deluded they are, entirely helpless.

[kdreama]

Really Good Video. This was right on My Precise Time.

[KennyTruu]

This video was great, thanks=]

[rawrosh]

beautifull .may god bless u .

[gangsta1987]

This clip tapped right into what i wanted to hear!! Thank you man!!! I will listen to this everyday!!!

[Schmeisser]

When you know filipino kali, anger gets serious

[chris2000dog]

The way you explain why people hurt others is very helpful. My anger levels have recently gone through te roof because my girlfiend cheated on me and then stopped me seeing our child and i felt so much anger towards her. Now i just pitty the evil bitch.

[peterpandoer]

Pitty the poor girl instead.. There are no evil bitches, just bitches..

[jellyland]

I have heard similar before but the way you say it gets through. I do have a bit of trouble with anger myself. This is going to help a lot. Thanks again !

[PsychoticLuke]

Beautiful. Simply beautiful. I have some issues with my anger from time to time. But thanks to this video - and ofcourse you who post it - I think I will be able to see it from a different point of angle. And actually deal with it. Again - I thank you. Wholeheartedly. :)

[peterpandoer]

To jodesai, rutherfordtate, GreatmoviesForever and PsychoticLuke : thanks for all the nice comments ! A first step is to see how great this ancient teaching is. Second is to start the excercise - giving up on anger for a day, and then gradually prolong the duration. It would make me very happy to get some feedback on that from your own experience ! Ram Ram.

[GreatMoviesForever]

I Love You Peterpandoer, Thank You For Your Video.

[rutherfordtate]

It is a shame that Western culture does not value this wisdom.

[jodesai]

Thanks a lot for bringing back to us this ancient knowledge in such a beautiful and clear way

[TheGiantRobot]

I really like how you expressed this. Thank you for posting these, they are really nice.

[peterpandoer]

Getting such nice and soft feedback from a Giant Robot is really quite a nice treat.

[TheGiantRobot]

Haha!

[Franzapooch]

I am so full of anger that it hurts.

I'm going to watch this every single day. It's wonderful.

Thank you so much for sharing.

[peterpandoer]

seems like you got hurt alright.. even if it's hard to forgive, remember you don't want to pay double or triple by staying in an unhappy mood about it..