Dogma: The Metatron

[ryokomocha]

I wouldn't say it's a flaw, it's merely an inherent property of being mortal . If humans were capable of hearing God's voice then they'd have to be immortal, and therefore angels. God didn't want another variety of angels, God wanted mortals, and that came with all the drawbacks.

[DragonmanX90]

Um, dude, you appeared out of nowhere as a giant ball of fucking fire. If you were in her position how would you react? And while I'm on weird inconsistencies; why would humans be designed with such a massive design flaw as to not be able to withstand their creator talking to them? That seems like something worth including in the blueprints. I'm just nitpicking here I know it, but honestly this is confusing. Metatron is awesome all headscratchers aside.

[coolkitten432]

DAT VOICE.

[NicholasGeschke]

(Blaze of fire) "Behold the Metatron, the Herald of the Almighty and the voice of the One True God!"

"Are you really going to hit me with that...fish?"

"Good Lord, the little stoner's got a point."

Alan Rickman always has the best lines.

[ninjaheart92]

@YouGandered101 She found out she was related to Jesus.

[ninjaheart92]

So that's why Lily picked James.

[Samsis2]

I love his accent in this, whichever dialect it is, it is adorable.

[YouGandered101]

@ninjaheart92 What was Bethany talking about when she said that? (please reply...).

[Azrael666Azazel]

@YouGandered101 She just found out that she was related to Jesus.

[Tasadaru]

"The way I understand it sex is a joke here too." Very true.

[ORACLE063]

Technically he isnt an angel. The Metatron is Enoch

[ninjaheart92]

"It's too big!" Alan- "Thats what Jesus said" omg that's my favorite line in that whole movie!!

[padfootsnape]

wax on wax off whats that all about

[padfootsnape]

omg the bit where he walks on water oohhhhwow the voice at 6.00- 7.00 reminds me of severus

[Kalahridudex]

1:09 so that's why Lily decided to go out with James.

[jaganar1]

so wisconsin is worse than New Jersey ??

i call fowl, anywhere that spawned the situation is more evil than wisconsin O_o

[HalfBloodPrincess60]

I'd believe he's the voice of God.

[aur3li392]

Well, I say we get drunk drunk, 'caus I'm all of out ideas ....

Love it <3

[Xhopelessromantic0]

I live in Wisconsin D: But Alan Rickman said it, so I'm not offended :)

[seastar567]

A british voice of god? Im in!!

[LuigiFanatic]

I question why he wasn't wearing any underpants.

[takakuroichi]

Tequilla with Alan Rickman? I'm game!

[cagdog123]

Alan Rickman impregnates women with his voice

[TheBerylfly]

Actually, I didn't get his last line. AND I didn't get if the baby is his.

AND I can't think when I hear that voice. I swear to God (ohshi), only Simon Templeman was better

[TheSaiaax]

@TheBerylfly They heavily imply it....

[LazySmurf247]

I don't know what character of his looks hotter... The Metatron or Severus Snape ♥

[WallabyWallaby]

I love the look he gives at 8:41. It's just adorable!! =)

[TheJojobaoel]

..good to hear his voice, its just amazing... his german voice, is not bad but nothing sounds like his supernatural voice<3 :)))

[MJlover2916]

"What's God like?"

"Lonely... very funny he's got a great sense of humour." :D:D:D

[94xSuperAngel]

"So what are we gonna do now?"

"Well I say we get drunk, cause I'm all out of ideas."

LMAO!

[LazySmurf247]

OMG... I can listen to his voice all freaking day! ♥ HIM!

[DarkRubberDucky]

"WE went through five Adams before we figured that one out." Best line in the movie and seeing as this is a great quoting movie, that's saying something. (At least in my opinion.)

[AzOfSpades]

"I'm as anatomically impaired as a Ken doll"...hahaha ahh classic.

[Eqvaliser]

well now we know,, since there is this movie about it.. ;)

yes yes we got it, Metatron.. :p

[Alioon6]

btw...Guys, who is from Wisconsin, tell me how is living there, I mean really why Wisconsin?

[Wahsayah]

@Alioon6 Boring, If you decide not to induce alcohol or pot good luck fitting in. The further north you go the more racially intolerant people get. It's alright though if you like the packer's and country/rap music and of course alcohol. This whole state feels like it has the mental capacity of a fifteen year old high school girl at a senior graduation party getting plastered. Similar Traits are: Dumb, led by peer pressure, believes nickelback is the best band ever.

Kill me please. -_-*

[Alioon6]

I like how he says The AWESOME power of Gods true voice..:DD

[UsagiDreams]

"They were sent to Hell?"

"Worse- Wisconsin."

[MonCoeurBatPourDavid]

She looks like kirsten stewart.



[SuperGoldfish1999]

they broke the systemREDPILL

[nonaes]

"i think this shit just kick in" my favorite line of the whole movie

[thexalon]

Spoiler: Metatron kills Dumbledore.

[wrathfilled]

"Just sit down on the bed and shut up." Oh what I wouldn't do to have Alan say that me and do God only knows what *sigh* I love you Alan Rickman!!!!!!!

[UsagiDreams]

@wrathfilled Yes. Same here!

[wherokee178]

Alan Rickman just beat Chuck Norris. He touched a woman and she was pregnant. Rickman pawns all XD

[bonocusack]

@wherokee178 That comment wins

[pirintone]

Video creato appositamente in onore di Danilo...

[Cavstic]

7:09 ----> "This shit just kicked in" LOL.

[bastardluv]

alanis morrisette killed this movie.

[GensokyoGal301]

OMG! SNAPE IS THE METATRON!!! (watch harry potter movies and you'll know what I mean!)

[phoenixrisinghigh]

@GensokyoGal301 you don't even need to watch the movies, Alan Rickmans a pretty big name as it is.

[CrossMyDNA]

Even with no junk Alan Rickman can impregnate women just by touching them.

[73Stargazer]

lol God is awesome in this movie.

[xxiamclxx]

LOL i saw this movie tonight with my parents I laughed so much XD this movie is hilarious!

[mehrdadmehraban]

that's what jesus said . ahahahahhahah

[frankie0iero]

one of best movies ever... I can watch it over and over again...Alan rules!!:)))

[oooLetybastard89ooo]

Alan is sexy also in this scene ♥

[666slipknotstaysic]

we went through 5 adam's before we figure that one out.....EPIC!

[ometta7]

"I don't want this....it's too big."

"That's what Jesus said."

Did anybody else giggle at that?

[MrDAFRESHBOY]

@ometta7 it sounds like something needle-dick would say

[ometta7]

@MrDAFRESHBOY Well, the first part maybe.

[MrDAFRESHBOY]

@ometta7 no, all of it, he wants something even smaller

[ometta7]

@MrDAFRESHBOY Sounds illogical. Wouldn't tuco want a bigger dick since he's so tiny? Of course, understanding the logic of a crazy masochistic fuck with all the intellectual fortitude of his half-flaccid micropenis prematurely ejaculating is pretty much equivalent to putting the square peg in a round hole. It just doesn't fucking work.

[MrDAFRESHBOY]

@ometta7 EXACTLY!! that's what i meant, you sir are a good man of cience. i suggest we go celebrate with vodka since we just found the meaning of life

[ometta7]

@MrDAFRESHBOY I'd rather celebrate with a joint and some shrooms. Vodka just leads to the type of ass-pinching that needle-dick is into.

[MrDAFRESHBOY]

@ometta7 that just depends on your race, maybe vodka would turn a reneck gay, but a wetback like me can take litters of vodka without leaving the pussy for a single moment

[ometta7]

@MrDAFRESHBOY Nah. Actually, Vodka turns rednecks into violent sociopaths. Any alcohol turns me into an IRL troll without any of the the direction or precision that I pride myself on.

[MrDAFRESHBOY]

@ometta7 so basically

ometta7 + vodka = dafreshboy

dafreshboy + vodka = bellotti8101 (delucional sex-maniac)

[ometta7]

@MrDAFRESHBOY Yeah, that's about right.

I also get really dumb when I mix weed with pain pills.

[MrDAFRESHBOY]

@ometta7 so

weed + painkillers + ometta7 = tuco2003?

[ometta7]

@MrDAFRESHBOY More like: weed + painkillers + ometta7 = tuco2003 with the balls to insult a cop during a traffic accident as he's prying a dead baby from the wreckage. True story.

[MrDAFRESHBOY]

@ometta7 a-m-motherfucking-e-n-

[ometta7]

@MrDAFRESHBOY And I think that is the best possible way to end the discussion on a video like this. lol You really are more intelligent than you let on.

Let's go bug a redneck furfag.

[MrDAFRESHBOY]

@ometta7 you think i would let people know how smart i really am, i don't wanna be called a fucking nerd man!

but o.k. let's go, think i know one

[o0OneRaindropO0o]

"I couldn't rape you if I wanted to."

Lies. Alan Rickman rapes ladies with his voice.

[BaltoLuver63]

"Well I say we get drunk, cuz I'm all out of ideas."

Oh alcohol. Is there no problem you can't solve? n.n

[HipsyGypsy93]

@BaltoLuver63 liver problems?

[xglp]

"What are you?"

"I'm pissed of is what I am"

hahahaha

[thedrifter]

Rufus: THE VOICE!

Meatron" *sarcasticly* The apostle

LMFAO! that scene always gets me

[xolyssxo23]

Were they sent to Hell? Worse. Wisconsin. For the entire span of human history.

This makes me laugh every time. :)

[jacksawild]

You missed the bit where he wiped his coat on God.

[ORACLE063]

The Metatron is not an angel its Enoch... just an fyi

[NicholasGeschke]

Rickman: Are you really going to hit me with that...fish?

I love that.

Now I'm not one for blaspheming, but this movie really made me laugh.

[AnomalyINC]

He can make fish out of wood, but he can't create "wood" for himself?

Also, isn't the highest choir of Angels supposed to actually SERVE the lower ones? Why does he seem to take such pride in it? And WHY does he look like Alan Rickman?

Wors. Reality TV Show. Ever.

[SmilingThruChaos]

more reasons to realize that god is a big fucking joke

[BlackKraya]

I'd say that's the best voice god could have chosen <3

[endorphinz]

"What are you?"

"I'm PISSED OFF, is what I am!"

[victorvonlionvake]

Or what, hit me with that fish. That's so satirical, Alan Rickman is awsome.

[DraMaSeTTa124]

"Its too big"

"That's what Jesus said" lol

[jeminiverse]

Whats the song's name at 7:00 ?

[simpsonsrock1818]

Why did he say stand back if she's sitting down? She didn't even move

[bobina05]

@simpsonsrock1818 Yea...um...that's called sarcasm.

[madhippy3]

IM PISSED OFF IS WHAT I AM!

[EggFriedSpam]

This film's so unrealistic. Alan Rickman's not an angel, he's God.

[AndRod29]

@EggFriedSpam False. That title belongs to Morgan Freeman

[TravieJames]

If that is how all angels are, Heaven must be kick-ass.

[TheWhiteQuadroon]

7:00 - 7:24 : best part ! looool

[magog1138]

"The voice!"

"The apostle."

"Now who's this motherfucker?!"

LMAO! XD

[melissaIvory]

the best face is at 2:20

[Piccadillyo]

lol this movie looks so bad, but kinda funny...

"who's this motherfucka?"

"That's the voice of God show some respect!"

teehee

[aperfecttool2590]

@Piccadillyo

"What do we do?"

"Well I say we get drunk 'cuz I'm all out of ideas"

Its a good movie

[lilleahhere05]

lol "hence all the spitting"

and "a ffffffffffish"

[bynamearose]

"...Now stand back."

...Isn't she SITTING? LOL. I'm confuzzled.

[shannon5822]

8:32 .....Wow...Just Bloody HUGE! LOOK AT THAT HAND!!!! ....Hehe, feelin' her up!

....Ahh...If all angels look and sound like Alan Rickman, then I shall start to believe in god again! =3

[pennypyro42]

loved this. i hate to nitpick, but i'm pretty sure "seraphim" is plural, not singular.

[THEBeautyofebony]

i dont think angels cuse

[HughesHunter5]

Wuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...... The metatron is very sexy *¬* and funny xD

[nessagirl1911]

I love how his wings get all droopy when he realises she doesn't know who he is....

[Joeyal123]

THis Angel is Funny i like hi m

[wildhobby]

Can I draw attention, and I task you to assist others when you use "your" as opposed to the concatenation of 'you are' (you're) you are not doing your (see proper usage) I should say our language any good. It is a progressive language and subject to adaption etc. It is not confined to the realms of Latin (or in time French, unless the people see sense). I am the Metatron and now I have to get in a white taxi to a room with no doors wearing a one piece tuxedo with long sleeves.

[GirlOnTheLine]

Love him! ...Sexiest man on earth!

[insaneforstuff254]

Alan Rickman is strangely good looking in this movie. XD

[shannon5822]

@insaneforstuff254 WHEN ISNT HE!?!?!?!

[Ferrychick1]

"Now, just sit down on the bed and shut up." You tell her, Alan!

[jellynuuts]

In his every role he is Hot and Sexy.

[KristinaKaulitz9489]

"The Voice!" "The Apostleee" just briliant

[thatgirlkelly1]

"What are you?"

"I'm pissed off that's what I am!"

God I love him!

[bozzioisgod44]

His voice.... <3

[0n3m4n4rm33]

Hans Gruber...

[ClassicDisneyFTW]

If all angels looked and sounded like Alan Rickman I would no longer fear death lol

[bozzioisgod44]

*Hugs you* :D

[esrapk]

@ClassicDisneyFTW i would

[Badgirl2119]

@ClassicDisneyFTW I would have to agree with you, who wouldent want to spen time with a man that has that voice

[lilleahhere05]

@ClassicDisneyFTW LOL, AMEN TO THAT X

[KethamBodds]

@ClassicDisneyFTW most of them are :)

[SkaterKidd77]

"Sex is a joke in heaven?"

"From what I understand it's mostly a joke down here."

That had me laugh 'n

[TheMaterialMetatron]

give it up

∆

[Osaka13]

"Were they sent to hell?"

"Worse, Wisconsin."

[MrH20rybon]

i like the wings

[irishfist65]

IT'S "SERAPHIM", NOT serafin...

[MrH20rybon]

a serafin is a song.avoice of god

[troubles47]

"Who's this motherfucker?"

[FreeInquisition]

I'M PISSED OFF IS WHAT I AM

[PerfectlyWilted]

hehe

[Hosea22]

"No wonder your single!"

XD

[ferrjuan]

lol Wiscosin is worst than hell!

[magictacomangapirate]

FFFFISH

[MrH20rybon]

who are you?

[prawnbutters]

LOL you two are so funny ...seraphim love...seraphim.don't get it twisted again.

[Johnnymay86]

This movie is most definitely Smith's best. Not because it pushes religions buttons or any of the other usual reasons, but because of the awesome power of his dialogue. The channeling of characters like this, is a gift.

[Rickmanfever]

Poor Alan. Those wings weighed 100 lbs and he injured his back wearing them. Committed actor...continued to wear them through the pain.

[TheLadyofthewest]

I'm buying the DVD, definitely. I adore this movie

[TheLadyofthewest]

I freaking LOVE Alan Rickman. I just love that sarcastic, sexy voice of his and he's so goddamed cute~

[Ferrychick1]

Fucking right!

[Okin17]

snapesnogger

[TheLadyofthewest]

lol what?

[mildetryth]

"We went through 5 Adams before we figured that one out." ROFL! I love the dry way he says that.

[irocklove14]

God he's so sexy, i can't take it *shiver*

[cooleogirl97]

OMFG!! he ws in Harry Potter!! i love Snape!

[Okin17]

snapesnogger

[HAXAMID]

vaya! METATRON en una movie comica? the flower of the live

[Miinamuff]

god wears boxers^^

[verticalsmurf]

I love this movie! I wish they would make Dogam ii, but I doubt that will happen.

[UsagiDreams]

"Get the f**k out of here! NOW!" "Or you'll do what, exactly? Hit me with a fish?"

[cecinid]

Best of Kevin Smiths films, in my opinion...my religious mother ADORED the movie, shocked the hell outta me...;)

[vulcangrl13]

"F*ck man, I think this s*it just kicked in."

lol, I love Jay. *hugs him*

And Alan, He's the best. :D

[outrageouslycrazy1]

I am *pause for dramatic affect* THE METATRON.

Don't tell me the name doesn't ring a bell.

[lemongirlohyeah]

I love the whole "Angels are inequipped" (sp???) part XD

[ShavicTheHunter]

Is that Alanis Morisette?

[magog1138]

Yes, that is. God is played by Alanis Morisette.

When you think about it? It makes sense- emotional, can hold grudges for a while, jealous, but when the loving's good it's great- sounds like a woman to me.

lol! XD

[Krypto282]

Plus the whole mother/creator thing

[moa373]

"hit me with a fish"

ha :p

[halfbloodprincess666]

i love alan rickman <3

he's the best ^^

the metatron and snape are his best roles ever ^^

thanks for uploading

[trumpet24923]

he's also going to be the catepillar(sp?) in the upcoming Alice in Wonderland movie. I totally see him in that role.

[Meshehetube]

i wonder if it'll have his face. that would pwn

[WeLiveWeLove08]

Dude are you serious!?!

Alan Rickman is the man...

Him and jeremy Irons pwn any actor out there!

[magog1138]

I would add Hans Gruber from Die Hard and Marvin the Paranoid Android (voice) in the Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

[SigmaEpsalon]

ffffffffffffffffffffffffffiiis­ssssshhhhh

lol. I love this movie!

[biiacamara090491bia]

alan rickiman ele e sexy , lindo , gostoso !!!!

eu amo ele !!!

como ator ele e muito bom ele e o cara

[AngelOmega777]

Alan Rickman is awesome! ^_^

[Keira090]

Awesome, cool and funny xDD

Omg, i was laughing all the time.

Great movie, must download it.

[KristinaKaulitz9489]

LOL "Sweet Jesus do you have to use the whole can?!"LOL "The Voice!"..."The Apostle..!"LOL

[severusesWife]

metatron *

my bad ^^"

[severusesWife]

alan rickman THE BEST !!!!

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

i have character in wow named metetron

XDDDD

[loserman7162]

He's so cute speaking Spanish.