dane cook - lying

[springfeild90]

It's impossible to write an essay whilst watching this guy. I just can't turn him off.

[hawaiiansofie777]

lol strap-o-death

[hawaiiansofie777]

IM NOT GONNA MAKE IT TO THIS PARTY

PEOPLE ARE EXPECTING TO SEE ME!!!!!!

[alicakeys13]

@hawaiiansofie777 LMFAO, WHILE IS IS ROLLING XDDD

[SmartAmerican1]

its was a qwary lol

[Akamaru724]

49 people passed the train tracks.

[TheBennyboo25]

justin bieber suck so does dane cook just as the same person

[QuiteIgnored]

@TheBennyboo25 Why the fuck u mention justin bieber in videos that HE IS NOT EVEN IN IT? or is that all to get a thumbs up or attention? wow just wow.

[TheBennyboo25]

oh my god he thinks hes the best and the coolest guy in the world send me commics hows hes going because he thinks hes awesome but people think hes dumb right?

[scenequeen428]

i'm not in love with him.

LIE ACCOMPLISHED.

[taylorstudios1]

And my car FLIPPED INTO A RAVINE!! (Weird wormy movements) LOOL

[lucasbudega]

women hate me...

LIE ACCOMPLISHED.

[raccoonpokemon]

im really skinny

LIE ACCOMPLISHED

[DancingMedicineMan]

I ate a dick last night...

LIE FAILED

[Tennaseegirl]

I hate comedy

LIE ACCOMPLISHED

[wfgigglemonkey]

Omg the fucking ending! :D

[blackstar746]

reach into my pocket and pull out another li--- its just a condom

[blackstar746]

its fuckin' maroon you idiot.....



[jilianxoox]

@ruassmarkt 0:24...

[TheOnlyVampireGirl]

Painful shits.

[sadiel1]

wtf ? KICK MEEE !!!

[kittykatgirly1]

Fuck hes home watching T.V we gotta go!

[thatguytoyourright]

Is that guy that screams 'KICK ME!!!' In the beginning the 'MASHED POTATOES' guy?

[Peteroot65]

thumbs up if ur the 377,579 viewer

[LILSONNY2704]

i haven't done this 5 6 7 8 9 14 years... lol

[MissGloria95]

i line lmao

[Blazer7878]

Damm. I want a Hologram.

[shenokhal]

0:24 2nd KICK ME!!

[DontCallMeMerbear]

His sound effects are insane

[gossamer999]

DISCOMBOBULATED!

[awesomenaruko]

how do you put your life in danger when "doing" your howork

[sakuXsasu5545]

@awesomenaruko you might die of boredom xD

[floodboy55]

@awesomenaruko ever heard of taking a pencil to the knee?

[MYSELFROXMYASS]

his laugh :3

[Blackveilbrides4evar]

an l line!

[tomastocornal]

This dude... I don't know man... Carlin, Louis CK, Gervais, Chris Rock... those people are funny.

[KingdomHeartsfreak93]

@tomastocornal your crazy

[tomastocornal]

@KingdomHeartsfreak93 Like that's bad

[confused674]

@tomastocornal how isnt he funny he is way funnier than Carlin or Luis CK and Gervais

[tomastocornal]

@confused674 I dislike this motherfucker, you don't. End of the fucking retarded question.

[robbysaw]

did i get flipped off at 3:32

[wishespirit]

I need to get a hologram of myself watching TV.

[xoxokatynxoxox]

@dojopompom im guessing all of the uploaded ones are all from the same performance

[fran222fran]

we meetagain 240p

[123zatch]

omg lol the comments allways ruin the jokes:/

[IAmAce2157]

And were all gonna take painful shits

[TheMissMaemi]

@dojopompom Probably because it's the same show...

[Thelordofall2]

I just lied..... today..

[wheremexicans131313]

guioldjk xchbj xcbjk cn gjkbchf

[wheremexicans131313]

cjkgd bzxgjkflgzsduihfzsduh guvgzxc ifohsdjkv

[This0is0Me0not0you]

if you hit the train tracks youve gone to far

BUMP!

Oh fuck

[tacodriver89]

dane cook you suck.. jokes are so animated and thats why they are only a little funnyyyyy.. washed up

[cuite453478]

and you drive by oh yup that was probably it.

if youve crossed the train tracks, your too far

*corsses trakcs*

FUCK.

[xXASilverCoinlololXx]

xD The guy is probably watching this right now and he's most likely going, "SHIT! I WAS RIGHT! HE LIED!"

[alansbiggun]

0:07 nd 0:25 a guy said rape me

[nypdplumber22]

if you go past the train tracks, you've gone to far.. FUCK! lol

[PeaceGirl1021]

strap 'o death lmfao

[Roedycross]

Dane is not that funny, Dave is..

[catzrawesomelikechez]

@Roedycross then why you watching?>:O

[hottiejohnny811]

what if he watches this

[broadwaygirlie33]

no comedian can make me laugh like dane

[selvmordspilot]

Dane Cook is funny. wait, nobody would believe a lie that stupid

[WarriorsBiggestFan2]

@selvmordspilot You just told the truth. Wait, no one would believe a lie that stupid.

[selvmordspilot]

@WarriorsBiggestFan2 : you got me, i was lying. he's not funny, he's a piece of shit, and all he's got going for him is the knows how to move around on a stage.

[1AngryPerson]

the 41 people to dislike this are the people that were waiting for dane cook at the party lol

[selvmordspilot]

@1AngryPerson : i disliked it because i didn't find it the least bit funny.

so yea.

[1AngryPerson]

@selvmordspilot i still love you.....

[selvmordspilot]

@1AngryPerson : ^ ^ love you too <3

[1AngryPerson]

@selvmordspilot yes! ^_^

[maelyior67]

i hate dane cook so much............

LIE ACCOPLISHED

[imegalovehalflife]

@maelyior67 i tried to fool myself into thinking i can not laugh at a dane vid....i lied to myself XD

[EatonSeamen]

@maelyior67 too bad you didn't accomplish spelling accomplished

[bballgrl214]

Why is he always wearing the same shirt?

[eh442]

@bballgrl214 because the clips are probably from the same tv special.

[per4mr26]

@bballgrl214 Its the same show, he did a whole hour show.

[kittykatgirly1]

@bballgrl214 His lucky shirt? XD

[MaximumGKB8]

Fav. Com.

[selvmordspilot]

@MaximumGKB8 : bad taste.

[kittykatgirly1]

Fuck hes home lets go

[XxXxVERMILIONxXxXxX]

KAKUR....fuck-_-...lol

[ThePotsandpans82]

SCREW YOU BUCKO!

[mojoe3690]

is it weird that if as soon as i heard him say painful shits my phone went off :D-

[Sprigs1864z]

@mojoe3690 very

[ruassmarkt]

lol 0:08 KICK MEEE!!!

[alansbiggun]

@ruassmarkt he says rape me but still funny

[bassplayah707]

@ruassmarkt LOL

[skatedistrict238]

@ruassmarkt if you listen hard he does it again at 0:24 lol

[Tinzie2135]

@skatedistrict238 Listen hard? He's bloody yelling man xD

[gypsyplayboy25]

"strap o death lmfao

[ELYON10100]

my safety harness became a "strap of death" haha lol

[SunsetSweetie09]

1,990 people love lying

[JamesSoulBlade2]

looks like dane lied to 40 people about going to their party

[YourFaceWillDie468]

@JamesSoulBlade2 You know, that's actually realistic. They could be the people who know how it feels to be lied to in this way. But this is just stand-up; people shouldn't take it too seriously.

[RookieDomination]

lmao, back in the day, which was a wednesday

[smartmeohyeah123]

Fuck. He's Home, Watching T.V. We Gotta Go Home. *HAHA EPIC !

[VvNiTrOvV]

Press 4 For Riding your mother.

[ilovegir567]

Now whenever I tell a lie, i walked away and whisper to myself, "Mission Accomplished >:D"

[qlgingerblade]

Press 7 for talk to the hand.

[JakeDragon104]

i love the motion he does when he sayes..."My car Flipped into a ravine!" lol xD

and NO ChuckNoarus...he did not steal this joke.

[ChuckNoarus]

He steal this joke also?

[AlienD00d]

does anyone know a link to dane yelling at the guy that wouldnt shut up? i watched it like once now i can't find it anymore anywhere. thankzzzzzzz

[AlienD00d]

does anyone know a link to dane yelling at the guy that wouldnt shut up? i watched it like once now i can't find it anymore anywhere. thankzzzzzzz

[nutsduck]

press 3 repeatedly for dane saying "dookie"

[narutosanimekitty]

lol

[FuzzyEars909]

We're all going to lie

We're all going to cry

and we're all going to take painful shits xD!!

[TaylorrQanqq]

"Ya Liee, The Person Accepts It Completely, And You Walk Away Going, 'Lie Accomplished, My Work Is Done Here'." xD

[sparkman787]

lol guy screaming in backround :3



[CrackThoseClaws]

He kept on talking for 8 minutes and I laughed only 2-3 times. Totally not the style of the stand-up comedy that makes you laugh ALL the time (like Jimmy Carr).

[ExpiredHate]

@CrackThoseClaws Then don't watch it, or comment. -.- Why waste everyone's time, including your own?

[CrackThoseClaws]

@ExpiredHate

It's good to have a second opinion, of a non-fanboy.

[TheCoLlInGs07]

38 people have been in a strap-o-death.

[difficultsyllables]

- Take a left at the red house.

- That's fucking maroon you idiot.

Hahahaha

[crucialturtle]

LMFAO B LINE

[gemstoneblood]

ahh thats nice the second top comment likes are 69 ;)

[juicypinkprincess]

why does the street you're looking for always have a tree from the mesozoic era growing around it?

[slimSouthern1]

some people just walk around looking for stuff to get pissed off about... geeeeeeez!

[Littlemissperfect211]

IM NOT GONNA MAKE IT TO THIS PARTY.... PEOPLE ARE WAITING TO SEE ME omfg this guy is amazing

[iLove50pounders]

HES A FAGGOT

[Rachelheartslife]

@iLove50pounders ..really? unnecessary.

[iLove50pounders]

@Rachelheartslife yea probably... BUT FUCK THAT FAGGOT SHIT.

[Palmtree2011]

this is just wrong is tooo many ways, but I love him!!!!

[TheMusiclover308]

hahaha

[IzzyInc27]

3:25 F**!

[amerrittification]

I flipped into a ravine

[tex530]

"Well you know what you don't know!? is I have a fucking hologram of me watching tv!"

Lamo XD

[kittykatgirly1]

@tex530 To scare away robbers "Fuck hes home lets go"

[sa3ad]

it'sfreaky cuz it's wednesday today

[therobloxhelper555]

o rlly u went to my house and saw me watching tv well wut u dont know is thut was a hallagraim so when robbers come they go through the bushes and say Fu** hes home watching tv *turns around*

[Chicagonative3609]

I bumped into a guy that I haven't seen in many many years, since back in the day, which was a Wednesday by the way.....I dont know if you know this, that's a little FF, Fun Fact, the day, Wednesday. LMAO!!

[DRprince919]

@Chicagonative3609 i actually didnt get that enlighten me lol i wanna laugh

[Chicagonative3609]

@DRprince919 -- Ah, yeah it's part of the skit....listen to it again. lol

[Chicagonative3609]

@DRprince919 -- It's at 1:00 minute into this skit. Check it again. lol

[DRprince919]

@Chicagonative3609 i honestly dont get the joke lol

[Chicagonative3609]

@DRprince919 -- Okay then. Guess there's not much to say then. LOL!! =)

[siriamdepaz]

amazingg <3

[ichigoslim14]

Lie Accomplished!! XD

[mountaindewroxmysox1]

*Going into quarry* I'm not gonna make it to this guys party!!!

[SwitchedProjex]

where was this show?

[supahtimmay]

"that goods good" "i wanna c tht" "nxt preview......"stupid"....haha i love dc

[weststreetbikes]

I flipped into a quarry!!!

[CrazyVT22]

hey i drive on a road named mount vernon every day

[cpuneronet]

36 people know dc isnt funny

[OmegaJRain]

The chavs comedian

[sovjettank]

Nice "i"-line =D

[sandpelt656]

why is it only showing my views????

[Frostbite419]

shoulda been like "Fuck hes home watching TV. we gotta go, wheres the van?!"

[arrancarsoulcaptain]

wat if this is all a lie? then wat?! we all feel stupid hahaha

[DaniLuvsTy]

36 ppl hit the train tracks......

[bobomomo23]

were all gonna take painfull shits

[sixteenthstar718]

OMGOODNESS. DANE COOK IS AMAZING.

End of story.

[xxXDamonSalvatorXxx]

@sixteenthstar718 RIGHT? lmao

[pandurang81]

my goodness gracious me..that was horrible

[MeinKampf56]

his laugh just makes everything better

[xILoveSasukeUchihax]

Lmao he always speaks the truth

[Honey88Koonce]

omfg Dane is funny! Moral of the story is lie only when there is no other option!

[d4rkcurs3sz]

I haven't done this in 5-6-7-9- 14 years. Lol.

[gmanpoosquad]

@d4rkcurs3sz you forgot 8 :PP

[Nileylover108]

Best Part- 8:01

[KawaiiGurl1214]

This was uploaded on my birthday too! :D

[XxStardustStudiosxX]

When he was flipping around I kinda wanted him to fall off the stage... xD

[loulovesmm]

i love his laugh

[sasukeuchiha12808]

i nearly pissed myself durin the train tracks

[dgenerationxman]

3:00 best part

[Emminottimona]

i've always wondered why it was called a B line when you go straight

[warewolf435]

@Emminottimona it's because while bees make loopy lines when they are looking for flowers when they have found them they make an extremely straight line back to the hive to tell their bee friends about it =3

[N1irvanaFan94]

I love his impersonation of watching T.V. xD

"-flipping through channels- haha -flips through channels-"