'No Values Voters' Search For Most Evil Candidate

[cyanmanta]

Worst of all, Obama hasn't kicked a single kid in the teeth since that photo was taken. Typical beltway insider, making campaign promises he doesn't intend to keep...

[MrSchnitzel19]

This time they can choose between a whole bunch of evil people:D

[Tezcatlepocatl]

@MrSchnitzel19

3/4 of Republicans and Obama are all great choices.

Let's bomb those innocent Muslim civilians!! yeah!!

[HaydenCalhoun]

@Tezcatlepocatl Afghanistan troll,lol

[Tezcatlepocatl]

@HaydenCalhoun

I'm not trolling. I really do feel good knowing my tax dollars are being used to legally cause misery to Middle-eastern peasants who don't even know why we're bombing them. Burn their faces off.

I'm voting for whoever promises to keep it up the longest. Obama is looking good so far...

[atomisten]

OMFG HOW MANY ACTORS DO THEY EMPLOY, HOW MUCH MONEY DO THEY GET FROM THIS CHANNEL LOLOL

[spacer125]

Weird. This seems like the Republican Party today.

[shinokiba]

Obama told the the truth, 1:30

[spacer125]

Oh, i thought this was talking about the Current GOP.

and their voters.

[ironmantis25]

dick cheney for president

[gamemeister27]

Cthulhu 2012, why vote for a lesser evil? 

[mashmiles]

FUCK THE FUTURE

[seanmatthewrosen]

CTHULHU FOR PRESIDENT!!!!!!!!!

[KKillaJ]

lol well i think these guys support obama now with him bombing countries left and right a few countries streets are stained in blood now

[bollocks2who]

JOKER FOR PRESIDENT!!!

[culvre]

LOL! "its nice but we don't want just pandering. we want the streets to run red with rivers of blood."

[DaGavinX]

I want to join the CBA. Fuck the future.

[cat3ater]

Darkside for President 2012???

[erockbaby3000]

@cat3ater I say Apocalypse from X-men for president since he wants to destroy the world, Darkside only wants to conquer it

[james1200]

@cat3ater You'll be the first to be vaporized for misspelling the great Darkseid's name.

[cloudbusterman]

All the main promoters of values, like the Axist (which means values-user) Adolf Hitler, the self-styled Devil incarnate and anarchist Charles Darwin, and Hitler's anarchist employees were very very depraved, they wallowed in turpitude. Values are irrefutably the main or only root of depravity. To have values for anarchy and Will-to-power (like Hitler and Nietzsche) as here, is to have values prior to human instincts (for non-harm).

So the Onion has it all inverted here, and is inviting Nazism.

[modelmajorpita]

These guys are really showing up at the Republican debates this year.

[Legitimatemuffins]

i thinks it sad that i would vote for these people

[NachtCrus]

they cant take helping people or making positive changes, pick sarah palin! :D

[Peteyftw207]

Pause at 0:35.

The hispanics said "yes" 78% of the time, and the single parents said "yes" 72% of the time, yet the single parents' "yes bar" is longer than the hispanics. WTF? LOL.

[BadVoodo0]

its funny how true this is lol

[peruru84]

"Candidates find reaching no-values voters difficult due to risk of being killed by them" lol

[Horticultural1]

Um, was that guy about to eat that baby? In the press clipping, they had a picture of a man holding a baby, and I... um... I could see fangs.

[1000xRepent]

lol, this made me uneasy. like seeing a dead body for the first time uneasy. I know it's not real, but they make condescending points.. unfortunately, this is probably alot closer than FOX or TODAY ever got. We need someone who doesn't give a damn like onion to report what the hell is going on, not take it so seriously like 90% of america does and chill the fuck out.

[bomerman104]

so that's how bush got elected

[mathewfinch]

@bomerman104 GB was evil? I thought he was dumb as a rock.  Which one was it?

[DrSwNemo]

@mathewfinch Rocks can kill.

[Berzerkerevl]

@bomerman104 aren't all politicians morally bankrupt antichrists?

[bomerman104]

@Berzerkerevl lol true

[Revolution2pointO]

I love how it's the so called "values" voters who vote for these souless "people"

[jmarkstu]

Like this? Check out themenwhocant com!

[bheddon]

Tea Party?

[14bj337]

"We want to be able to look at a candidate and truly believe they have no soul.

[startreking2007]

@14bj337 This year all the candidates fit that description.

[666789443]

I love andrea bennet.

[MeMbErOfZiT]

I can't wait for the presidential election of 2012 because War For the White House will return.

[mikedamat]

Still less malevolent than family values voters.

[marine5546]

These people should have supported Hillary Clinton more.

[JimProfitCat]

36 people are moralfags.

[ShaithMaster]

@JimProfitCat wait.. who do you think this is making fun of?

[james1200]

Am I the only one enthralled by the spectacular graphics at the beginning of "War for the White House"? Should be turned into a Roland Emmerich movie stat!!

[bollocks2who]

TOGETHER WE CAN CHANGE AMERICA IN UNSPEAKABLE WAYS!! LMAO!

[roxasrox99]

@trevorzlee not really

[Equilibrium2037]

Personally, I think engulfing things in fire is an important issue that has been neglected by our politicians.

[trevorzlee]

What the No Values voters really need to do is caucus with the Elder Party and support Cthulhu. People, we can make this happen. Just imagine R'lyeh rising from the south pacific on election night, and strange stars appearing in an inky black sky, and the minds of humanity being driven mad by the atonal piping of daemonic musicians orbiting around the daemon sultan Azathoth, all to usher in a new age of unremitting horror. Won't that be grand?

[shade270]

Its a pity that Dread Secretary Hammond S. Reynolds, of the Department of Evil, wasn't a running candiate. I thought his 2006, All Must Die initative was a negative leap backwards for the nation as a whole. Why aren't there more people like that in public office?

[myraxg]

"We don't want just pandering, we want the streets to run red with rivers of blood."

[LeftoverJedi]

@myraxg Fuck the future!

[ManintheArmor]

CHAOS!!!

[Zokunei]

@starcrafter13terran No we don't.

[3billion3]

A Car that runs on used tampons!

[NOHOW00]

lol... wait... what???

[wootsh33p]

Oh god i'd totally join this party.

[Ghettobusters2]

Your AD or comment HERE!

Just $999 get's you this prime space at the top to leave an AD, sarcastic comment, the FAVORED quote from the clip we all just saw, or your belief if the Onion News is real or not. OR just your strong belief in a subject matter "as is".

Any of these can be placed HERE.

But you have to act FAST to get this prime comment space before it is gone!

1st $999 will get it!

[philosophermike]

Megatron for president! Why vote for a lesser evil?

[zach2408dk]

The 2th time I watched it, I totally agreed.

[RomZruleTeHworld]

omigod, kitten killing...

something i could not stand.

[Makron5]

If you actually have no values you can always vote Republican. If you want to pretend you're getting the lesser of two evils vote Democrat. If you want to pretend voting matters: Vote independent. Simple as that.

[eatmytool1]

@Makron5 OR you could attempt to make a serious comment on a satirical video, and look like a complete ass....like you just did...FAIL

[Dacadvid]

I'm guessing this is a reference to the Religious Right, and how they think that they alone are moral people.

[yerk3]

I mean, do you have any idea how difficult it is to pretend to know a hunter?

[yerk3]

Too many of the organizations that purport to speak for No Values Voters ignore the importance of legalized chainsaw sodomy. For too long, we have sat in our garages, lovingly oiling our chainsaws, waiting for the day when we will finally be free to mutilate random passers-by in unthinkable ways. Too many of us have had to live double lives, keeping our pastimes (and our victims) secreted away in basement wells, disguising our vast reserves of frozen human flesh as "venison."

[GarlicPudding]

I wonder is no-values voters would vote for the Joker.

[cyanmanta]

Finally, a political group I can get behind. Any candidate in 2012 who isn't willing to kick a puppy to earn my vote just isn't worth the time of day.

[LeftoverJedi]

"Candidates find reaching No-Values voters difficult due to risk of being killed by them" :D

[Isuckatpaintball2]

if you have no values vote republican

[evilsceptic]

@Isuckatpaintball2 no no no, if you have no values VOTE.

[Isuckatpaintball2]

@evilsceptic oh yes! im sorry both partys are corrupt fuckers but if you want openly corrupt yet more widely accepted vote republican

[Freenetnow]

Mission accomplished people!

[LastTaboo]

FUCK THE FUTUTRE ... Right on. I'd personally like to see a president kill more kittens, or set fire to an orphanage. That will show the future how much we don't like it.

[099749]

@LastTaboo

Ok then..... I know a ginger monster that wil be very upset with you

[gilkwad]

1:30 "together we can change america in unspeakable ways." mission accomplished, sir

[PrettyBrg]

hahah

[AtomicDriveBy]

How can I purchase these "values", that they are talking about?

[DixieOfDeKalbCounty]

they must have all voted for Nobama.lmao

[funkbrother216]

A Tampax sponsored NASCAR! Hysterical xD

[CharlieFoom]

Teabaggers!

[Joeofiowa]

Sounds like teabaggers.

[omega4104]

It's a sad day when only 3% of no-value voters care about Well Poisoning ...

[jshooper]

TEABAGGERS !

[pokerslut530]

Well poisoning is only at THREE PERCENT???

BULLSHIT STATS!!!

to think, I actually thought The Onion was an air and ballad network!

[Ryuinfinity]

I can almost imagine a Tampax sponsored car.

[HermanFoom]

What the hell are "values?"

[michaelbme]

@HermanFoom

"Values" are two bags of chips for the price of one and a 12 pack of Natural Lights costing only 6 bucks.

[ajmj120]

I love how he says "We want the streets to run red with rivers of blood." XD

[randomxm1]

@matt1000

What did you expect from a bank? I'd trust a polititian before any major bank. Just like buying broken electronic devices from some shady guy in the best buy parking lot, you should have seen it comming.

[OnePunch89]

lmao scientists trace low self esteem to fat cells

[6billion2]

I don't have any values, why should I vote for someone who does?

[bbphnix]

wow, that's so funny it hurts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! did you see mccain ready to eat the baby ?!?!?!? WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW that makes me puke my guts out in laughter =))=))=))

[malekith77]

well besides the molesting babies part, the no values voters actually always seem to have great candidates to choose from!

[brownocasio]

Tampax sponsored NASCAR LOL....Yeah how would you like to root for that guy ROFLMA

[Cdubzhappy]

go to the poor people bank, whoops wamu closed

[Weirdo10o4]

Scientists trace low self-esteem to fat cells.

[emtpilot132]

"Torching the handicapped with flamethrowers"

[EddieTheFishReturns]

@emtpilot132: Putting tiny Wellington boots on cats : ) 

[WhatWouldMommaHairdo]

Why would some fool be voting for no values?

[PowerfulSplicer]

because that's what some of us look for in a leader.

[rianpop]

-_-

[Godzilla0nIce]

lol @ irony

[DaveDoggOwns]

The most evil canidate is the one you like the most. All politicians lie.

[anguirusreturns]

funny thing is, The Onion News is the most objective news network out there.

[CountArtha]

I've noticed they're consistently anti-gun, but apart from that you're right.

[flemsehod]

search: smagfjes

[BoomBoomSticks]

Flamewar lol. Arguing on the internet is like the special olympics: no matter who wins, you're still retarded.

[PrinceofCats999]

i actually agree :p lol

[PrinceofCats999]

Seriously though, I don't enjoy talking to egocentric hypocrites.

Complain about the world for all I care, you can come chat with me once you've grown up a little. 'Til then, go brush up on your people skills. I recommend aikido if you're having issues with yourself.

See ya~

[PrinceofCats999]

If you call yourself a pacifist then you're a hypocrite. If you want to live the pacifist way; you have to act, talk, and think like one. And it's funny how you say you're anti-consumerism seeing as you're obviously a middle-class spoiled brat that has to bitch about the world to feel better about himself, too afraid to look in the mirror.

And yes, that was my point. It's quite apparent that you're just a friendless teenager looking for a way to get attention. (via trolling on the net)

[PrinceofCats999]

You give mankind a bad name; not to mention the western world. It's because of dicks like you that Westerners are hated in many parts of the world.

I don't see how your opinion even matters at this point. You have lost in all the previous arguments, and have made a complete idiot out of yourself

I'm guessing by your response that you don't have a girlfriend, let alone an actual friend. Oh right, you have your right hand to comfort you. Haha, enjoy your hand while I enjoy the real deal. owned

[USAFAminnick]

"By the end of my first term, America will be a smoldering wasteland."... I voted republican and I still thought that was freakin hilarious :D

[PrinceofCats999]

Your logic: I quoted GC. Therefore, I am gay

Conclusion: Your a dumb fuck

If existence is pointless then why don't you go kill yourself? Obviously it does have a purpose, or else we won't be so eager to survive.

And stop being so homophobic. If you studied psych at all you'll know that the true gays are ppl like you, trying to cover up their feelings for other men. I know you're eager to shove your dick up my ass. Too bad though; I have a girlfriend. Maybe you can go fuck your dad instead.

[Ecochin]

So if you hate pedophiles. Are you cover up your pedophilia?

[PrinceofCats999]

No, because pedophilia is a crime lol

[Ecochin]

No, pedophilia is not a crime. You cant go to jail because your are a pedophile. You go because to have committed the act of pedophilia. Since when has anyone went to jail for thinking about a committing crime. What, we have thought police now, lol.

[PrinceofCats999]

welcome to the new world order haha

[starcrafter13terran]

@Ecochin The Catholics wish it was possible

[PrinceofCats999]

You obviously don't know that the word 'gay' does not have to be taken literally. Whether GC is gay or not is a matter of opinion. This does not change the fact that your reply to my initial comment was both aggressive and rude.

Your point? WHAT point? You never had a point. Your existence itself is quite pointless. I've said it before, and I'll say it again; get a life you wanker.

Also, go pick fights that you can actually win.

[PrinceofCats999]

like i said previously, i didnt say u r agnostic. first u have to get that through ur head before we are to be 'advancing in this discussion'.

this is not a proper discussion. a proper discussion does not begin with a wanker such as yourself insulting a complete stranger for no apparent reason. you slid off the topic of good charlotte altogether and expect me to put up with ur nonsense? im afraid ur hopes of any 'discussion' was butchered as soon as u uttered ur first gay statements.

[PrinceofCats999]

Yes, there's this girl in my class who can write very well but it takes her ages to work anything out. Maybe you're her brother. LOL

I said you SHOULD consider yourself agnostic and not ignostic; I didn't say you ARE, duhhhh

[PrinceofCats999]

just out of curiosity, why are you being such a dick to me in the first place? did i do anything to personally offend you, or are you really just an asshole?

[PrinceofCats999]

Uhm, ignostic and agnostic are two separate things ....

i said it maybe easier if u call urself agnostic because u obviously dont know what an ignostic is. cant u read?

dude, are you a little handicapped? don't be shy, ill stop bothering you if im hurting your simple mind. *sigh*

[MacGyverinSpace]

lol. Funny video. And theres also a flame war of untraceable meaning in the comments.

[PrinceofCats999]

u don't know what an atheist is ...

u should at least know what a divine being is. u want me to use the word 'deity' then? believing in a divine being and believing something is divine r 2 completely diff things.

it may be easier for u to say ur agnostic, cause u obviously dont know what ur talkin about.

let's face it, ur an asshole, a dick, and an idiot.

i feel sorry for you ... it must be scary being alone and confused. do urself a favor and go get proper schooling ... and some real friends

[MacGyverinSpace]

will u com wit me to english klas?

[PrinceofCats999]

lol oukey eye well :D

[TheBarns95]

@PrinceofCats999 Harsh

[PrinceofCats999]

@TheBarns95

Damn, that's some old stuff you replied to! lol

[8SwordDancer8]

funny ... but scary D:

5/5

[PrinceofCats999]

by god, i mean a divine being. how much more simple can i get?

u can't put 1 and 1 together? i defined atheism for u to check if it matches with ur definition, cause obviously they r diff. and u still haven't answered my question

[PrinceofCats999]

perhaps the 'comprehension fail' on my part is due to ur poor skill in effective arguing? doesn't take much to work that out.

in order to not sound like a dimwit, you should have stated, 'you are a dick. also, i think a lot of atheists are dicks'. ur stupidity isn't even funny anymore.

[PrinceofCats999]

uhm, hello~ ... for ur sake, please stop ...

you said in ur first reply:

- Also, you atheists are dicks.-

do u even remember what u wrote?

in other words, you said atheists are ALL dicks. if u meant to say that i was a dick, then u didnt need the word 'atheist' in there.

atheism is flawed by definition? care to explain that?

u dont make any sense, kid. here, ill make it easier:

atheism is the belief that there is/are no god(s). maybe u should educate urself before spewing out more crap.

[PrinceofCats999]

what i find interesting is that you fags are flaming me (or attempting to) for listening to good charlotte, but none of you seem to find a problem with the actual quote.

theres a fine difference between an asshole and an idiot. idiots are just ignorant. assholes are sometimes ignorant, but are always self-centered and bitter.

you specifically stated that atheists are dicks. u did not say we are all dicks. werent u taught hot to write effectively in school? srsly, think before u write.

[PrinceofCats999]

i happened to be listening to that song when i quoted it, durrrrr. also, people like you who think atheists are all alike are assholes. assholes > dicks.

stop trolling and get a life.

[PurpleGlass27]

1:26 hehe

[m530bc]

I want my WHITE AMERICA BACK where white men ran up a $10 Trillion deficit. Where white men give $300 Billion yr to the Health Ins co's and they rationed healthcare to our seniors vets & disabled. My white america where the rich do not have to pay taxes because thats what the middle class & poor are for.

[PNACATTACKdotCOM]

HAHHAHA This is hilarious :)

My motto for USA is:

"Kill the hipocricy - before hipocrisy Kills USA"

Excellent job :D

[PrinceofCats999]

lol maybe so. id like to think its a lot less though.

" ... But you'll find out, that this world is just an idiot's parade" - Good Charlotte, Chronicles of Life and Death

[RecklessYouth333]

You get a thumbs down just for quoting a Good Charlotte lyric.

[PrinceofCats999]

and you get a thumbs down for having such a douche bag user-name. owned.

[RecklessYouth333]

Look at your username. LOOK AT IT.

You're simply not allowed to use that tactic at anyone, period. Quoting Shakespeare doesn't make you smart, it just makes you a pompous ass.

Go listen to some more shallow garbage like Good Charlotte and vent your frustrations on the horrid life that is suburbia and other hypocritical bullshit.

[PrinceofCats999]

it's not shakespeare haha. you just owned urself. if ur referring to tybalt, KING of cats, then u lose.

its a japanese book that i like. wow, ur dumb as shit.

u judge someone cause they have a good charlotte song? ur a shallow bitch eh? lol i listen to other genres aside from punk (or whateva charlotte is) and this includes hip-hop, classical, pop, rap, traditional, metal etc

and who said im angry? i am very happy. i know ur angry though ... poor thing, that's why u sell fights on YT. pitiful.

[RecklessYouth333]

Ah, a misquote. You got me there.

[olivemike81]

And fans of Good Charlotte are part of that parade.

[PrinceofCats999]

lol. im not a fan btw, there are over 3000 other songs in my play list.

[PrinceofCats999]

well the guy really pissed me off. i doubt ull be saying that after u read his comments.

[mcgrathist34]

I'm an atheist, I just don't talk about it

[PrinceofCats999]

You have just summed up a whole group of ppl as "unoriginal misled arrogant assholes". You are the quintessence of an asshole, bud.

How do you know atheists are all like that? I truly pity people like you who judge others with biased eyes. And what are you anyway? Agnostic? Is that why you're not talking shit about them? Whatever you are, it's quite apparent you're not an Atheist lol. Oh yes, and I'm an Atheist. Ooohh~, I'm an arrogant bastard~~~ hahaha whateva.

Funny vids as always 5/5

[KnifeStab123]

"unless the candidates start talking about no value issues like molesting infants and tourching the handicapped with flamethrowers there not going to win us over" ahahah that was f*ing funny lol and

"...kurtis davis gets a tampax sponsered car..." lmao funny shit i love TheOnion

[eslake]

Definitely funny.

But I had to credit on this one - Obama would have their vote.

What other candidate ever suggested abortions could be allowed up to 18 months AFTER birth?

That surely won the no-values votes. :P

[eslake]

Not pulling anything reckless.

Look up Obama's late '08 address to Planned Parenthood and check his comments on Failed Partial Birth Abortions.

He said that in the event that a partial birth abortion failed (read-the child survives) the parent should be able to still chose to "abort" the child up to 18 months afterward.

I don't care if you support abortion or not, killing a 1.5year old child is murder no matter who you are, or what procedures you asked for.

[xxKaleidoscopeKiller]

RIGHT ON!

obama supports baby murder

[JCDentonCZ]

Well, the Onion hits it right on the nail; I'm sure we'll see America change in unspeakable ways, since Obama's administration will surely do it's best to outdo Bush. ;)

Not to forget that half of the Bush administration is now part of the Obama administration.

[olivemike81]

Yeah, the decent parts.

[olivemike81]

Too bad that's not what he said you lying piece of shit.

[Swatsinger]

Agnostics sure are smug about how they didn't make a specific decision.

[naetoru99]

Dude, I know this isn't real, but the sad part is, I wish it was.

[kornkiller03]

LOL!

[Veerwhil]

Dick Cheney for president!

[DonJokeen]

Who actually wants to create a fake party like this as a joke?