Thank you for uploading this. You are blessed for whom you are and keep on shining your light! I love your dog Faith too, Dacshounds are the coolest and best! May God continue to bless you!
The only time I felt like sexual orientation was a choice for me was when I dated men. I chose to fit in. I chose to not anger my family. I chose to be like the rest of society. I chose to be accepted. I chose to date men I weren't attracted to becuase that was the easy choice for me. Until I couldn't breath anymore.
Thank you for sharing a piece of your story with us. You will continue to learn there are many more of us out here in a very similar situation as yourself. I thank God everyday I was saved. I now live my life as myself, loving who I choose.
My sister, Angie, saves me all the time. Same with my parents, without them I'd be homeless or in the hospital right now without their help and support. But, most important thing I had to learn was how to save myself, you can't always count on others, esp. friends who come and go.
The circumstances of life can always be changed. Ending your life cannot be changed. I'm desperately happy suicide didn't capture you that day and wish you all the love, light and life there is. Go boldly out, young woman, and make your life what YOU want it to be.
Also, not "despite who you love". Love yourself because of who you love. I'm straight, there is nothing wrong with being gay. It's like liking pistachio instead of vanilla or being left-handed instead of right. Live life! :)
I started watching this video, listening to the words spoken, & was overcome with a grim feeling that it would end with a graveside photo of yet another victim of homophobia & discrimination. I'm happy & relieved that it was you reading the letter; not a friend or family member.
There was not ever anything wrong with you & it pleases my heart that you overcame the pressures put upon you by others. Our lives are short. I hope you enjoy the rest of yours.
I had to come back after viewing uour favorites. I've made it through over 50 years of such torment. It will not really pass but you will get stronger and the battle is worth it.
You are not alone. People like you are all around. Your courage to communicate can help those people to express themselves too. Be strong and safe. :)
You, Rach, I feel have taken one step toward answering that question, but it can and will pop up in your mind again, if you let it. I'm comforted to know that you've found some semblance of peace of mind, however big or small.
My comments are also directed at those who may or may not feel like suicide is the solution to what ails their aching hearts.
It is very easy to take oneself for granted. We are born with an instinctual need to yield to ourselves, so nothing we do for ourselves necessarily stands out as much as something another person does for us.
But...when you get right down to bras tax, what have you done to find comfort in being who you are?
The question may not seem too hard to answer, and most would immediately leap to answering. Chances are, though, they have no clue what the question means, much less how to truly answer it.
For you, Rach, the first step was accepting that there was NOT ONE DAMNED THING "wrong" with you. I'm not going to get into specifics, since this is not the intimate setting to do so, but understand that those feelings you had are what EVERYONE your age at the time goes through.
You were no "pervert." Did you EVER consider that fact back then? Probably not.
Just don't bother converting to any other religion because you'll just repeat the same disappointments. Judaism and Buddhism aren't as bad, but most people have difficulty getting their minds around those.
Thank God you were stronger than the brainwashing by the Mormon Church.
I am so proud of you for surviving the horrors of organized religion. This is from a person who was raised a strict Catholic, fed all the guilt, and never attended church again once I became an adult.
Thank you for uploading this. You are blessed for whom you are and keep on shining your light! I love your dog Faith too, Dacshounds are the coolest and best! May God continue to bless you!
MarkieWatch100 2 years ago
dissapointing ending
DrZorkloft 2 years ago
What do you mean? Its dissapointing because I didn't die??
TheRachelle31 2 years ago
That Was A Very Heart Warming Note And I Hope You The Best!
Xxdonkeyx 2 years ago
@Xxdonkeyx. Thank you. i'm doing well. Have and upcoming book soon called Cursed.
TheRachelle31 2 years ago
Its my pleasure. My hope is to help others going through the same terrors without any real help from outside sources.
TheRachelle31 2 years ago
You are a blessing! Thank you for sharing this, it took courage.
Peace, light and love
Sheri
janonda42 2 years ago 2
The only time I felt like sexual orientation was a choice for me was when I dated men. I chose to fit in. I chose to not anger my family. I chose to be like the rest of society. I chose to be accepted. I chose to date men I weren't attracted to becuase that was the easy choice for me. Until I couldn't breath anymore.
TheRachelle31 2 years ago
Thank you for sharing a piece of your story with us. You will continue to learn there are many more of us out here in a very similar situation as yourself. I thank God everyday I was saved. I now live my life as myself, loving who I choose.
djworthin 2 years ago
Brava! And many thanks to the person who saved you.
tegrat 2 years ago
My sister, Angie, saves me all the time. Same with my parents, without them I'd be homeless or in the hospital right now without their help and support. But, most important thing I had to learn was how to save myself, you can't always count on others, esp. friends who come and go.
TheRachelle31 2 years ago
Thank you ElderJoseph for saying those kind words.
TheRachelle31 2 years ago
I was led here by a comment you made about the LDS church.
You are needed in our world. You can't imagine how many people you are helping and will help to escape the clutches of nutty cults! lol
We need more people like you Rachel. Someone who values others and is prepared to be courageous and oppose nutty cult leaders.
I feel better for people like yourself being around. Thank you. I'm so happy to know you are alive and hopefully well.
Thank you.
ElderJoseph 2 years ago
The circumstances of life can always be changed. Ending your life cannot be changed. I'm desperately happy suicide didn't capture you that day and wish you all the love, light and life there is. Go boldly out, young woman, and make your life what YOU want it to be.
Also, not "despite who you love". Love yourself because of who you love. I'm straight, there is nothing wrong with being gay. It's like liking pistachio instead of vanilla or being left-handed instead of right. Live life! :)
raposofan 2 years ago 2
Good luck Honey.
Mprator 2 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
Dude? Just deal with it.
GOPChris 2 years ago
I'd say she *is* dealing with it.
maxomai 2 years ago 2
I started watching this video, listening to the words spoken, & was overcome with a grim feeling that it would end with a graveside photo of yet another victim of homophobia & discrimination. I'm happy & relieved that it was you reading the letter; not a friend or family member.
There was not ever anything wrong with you & it pleases my heart that you overcame the pressures put upon you by others. Our lives are short. I hope you enjoy the rest of yours.
rhabdoviridae 2 years ago
Comment removed
ashleyluvspugs 2 years ago
I had to come back after viewing uour favorites. I've made it through over 50 years of such torment. It will not really pass but you will get stronger and the battle is worth it.
rareandfirsts 2 years ago 2
There was never anything wrong with you, you are fine just the way you are.
I'm glad you are still with us.
Live for tomorrow, because tomorrow always comes.
getplaning 2 years ago 3
I'm in tears after watching your video. I've been there, Please hold on and keep your eyes on tomorrow,
rareandfirsts 2 years ago 3
You are not alone. People like you are all around. Your courage to communicate can help those people to express themselves too. Be strong and safe. :)
tempelton 2 years ago 3
Well...that was extremely heart-wrenching.
Let me tell you and anyone reading this comment how to get over those suicidal thoughts, Rach.
All you have to do is focus on your own value to yourself. Now this may sound selfish, but is considering suicide any less selfish?
Anyway, you focus on what you yourself have contributed to your life.
What have you done to bring peace of mind to your life?
SpiderSimmons 2 years ago
You, Rach, I feel have taken one step toward answering that question, but it can and will pop up in your mind again, if you let it. I'm comforted to know that you've found some semblance of peace of mind, however big or small.
My comments are also directed at those who may or may not feel like suicide is the solution to what ails their aching hearts.
SpiderSimmons 2 years ago
It is very easy to take oneself for granted. We are born with an instinctual need to yield to ourselves, so nothing we do for ourselves necessarily stands out as much as something another person does for us.
But...when you get right down to bras tax, what have you done to find comfort in being who you are?
The question may not seem too hard to answer, and most would immediately leap to answering. Chances are, though, they have no clue what the question means, much less how to truly answer it.
SpiderSimmons 2 years ago
For you, Rach, the first step was accepting that there was NOT ONE DAMNED THING "wrong" with you. I'm not going to get into specifics, since this is not the intimate setting to do so, but understand that those feelings you had are what EVERYONE your age at the time goes through.
You were no "pervert." Did you EVER consider that fact back then? Probably not.
SpiderSimmons 2 years ago
NOT ONE DAMNED THING WAS "wrong" WITH YOU. Remember that. You hear me, right?
Read carefully: nothing wrong with YOU?
Now, for those who would demonize you for attempting to understand yourself...that's another matter.
Simmons has said too much already.
G'day, all.
SpiderSimmons 2 years ago
I'm so glad you're still here too. Take care.
DeSwiss 2 years ago
Just don't bother converting to any other religion because you'll just repeat the same disappointments. Judaism and Buddhism aren't as bad, but most people have difficulty getting their minds around those.
sweetfreek 2 years ago
Thank God you were stronger than the brainwashing by the Mormon Church.
I am so proud of you for surviving the horrors of organized religion. This is from a person who was raised a strict Catholic, fed all the guilt, and never attended church again once I became an adult.
lenegal77 2 years ago
I feel so sad that your family allowed that to happen to you in the LDS cult by exposing you to it. I hope your therapy goes well.
sasquatchofDU 2 years ago