The Modern Day Matchmaker: Ep #1 "Why He Didn't Call You Back"

[Bri1908]

...lol Halle isn't perfect Brunson. Nice tips

[Ms123Jen]

It really is a mad's world we have to be weak for a man to feel masculine

[fatimaaly84]

am the complete opposite ,although,they ignored me lol but what to do,,and i like always to be taking care of aman,hate to be independent and i do not believe in MEN N WOMEN R EQUAL ,,many people on utube will say Oh look at the weak shallow girl,but no Men r men A Women r women we need each other to complete the life circle but our needs from eachother r different that's the point and i still believe in Men are stronger we can not fight the nature,men i dated seemed to like Superwomen l

[LorettaGraceOfficial]

I love this man!!!! I just discovered you, greetings from Italy :)

[brwnbarbie24]

I disagree with a few points, but the main dissent is a woman cooking for a man on the 2nd or 3rd date. I think that is TOO soon to have a man up in your living space. 2 or 3 dates isn't enough for that IMO. In the early stages, dates should occur in public locations. Women have to be careful.

[GroovyKid1000]

I guess he thought I was too masculine, bossy, and dominate. Haha oh well, I'm not changing myself for anybody.

[consuelahuttonc]

My name is Mike from LA Although there busizz4me.info

[Cjay858]

Diggin the video, but I can't believe i spent 20 minutes following the debate between vmoney and nancydrew. Living proof that two masculine forces competing in a logical battle are not ripe contexts for romance...

[babypatches]

Thank you for the video Paul, has anyone told you lately that you are quite handsome?

[MichyGW]

I get the independent thingy. I have heard this before. It seems true. I guess its about balance.

[cfact79]

What am amazing episode! You are so right I have dated too many bossy men, and i am a bossy chick, and me and bossy men have never worked in a huge way and yet that is all I usually date. Wow you make me excited to go out and change my perspective on who I should date! Great Show! I am telling all my friends about your show congrats and keep it up!

[whatsontv1234]

Bossy women... Never had a problem with them. Otherwise youd be pussy whipped right?

[seandouirani]

I don't ask women on a 2nd date if they:

-interview me (too many questions)

-make fake smiles

-show too much confidence that comes out as arrogance

-like me if I was bullshitting them

[nothing5630]

By the way most of the tips given in this video most of these type of women think it's being a pushover. In other words these certain women that have trouble getting a call think that acting the way a woman is actually supposed is "weak" or being a pushover while normal women have known these tips all along.

[nothing5630]

so to sum it up basically if you have a black woman personality (not all but easily 70%) guys won't like you.

[AintBehavinMis]

My hubby didn't call me back after we went out on 1 date, I saw him some 8 months later when I was dating someone else. Dude took one look at me and realized he missed out, and he was crawling trying to get me away from the guy I was dating at the time. Lucky for him, he got me. ha! My take on that is don't run behind no dude, if he wants you good, if he don't then move on, some other dude will. N all this dressing sexy to impress some dude, just be yourself, dude will either like you or not.

[NeoSoulAlterEgo]

Interesting! I have boss lady tendencies, (LOVE KELIS' SONG) and always look for ways to release my more alluring Neo Soul Alter Ego after work. I agree with the tips you shared. Ladies, here's a few more that you may want to try after 5! Put on a darker shade of lipstick, keep a spare pair of black stilettos in your car, have a upbeat playlist in your car that will change your mood (that's code for no NPR before a date)! Just simple fun tips yall! And, great work mr. Brunson!

[akaziaj]

So the bottom line is, if I want a man I have to be someone other than myself. Okay.

[AirForceGirl05]

@akaziaj

Men aren't worth it. They can't make you happy because they are all fake.

[BeLeather]

Yikes I think I have bossy lady tendencies! Great advice!

[vmoney65]

Ladies, if you are happy with where you are at then you don't need help. If you don't care whether a man calls you back or not, this video won't help you. A fact remains however: Your path to being married with a father in the life of your children goes through men. If you therefore think you might benefit from understanding how many men think, you've come to the right place. There are exceptions to every rule, if you want to hold out for one of them, the choice is YOURS. Simple as that.

[vmoney65]

Relationship success comes from greater understanding from the sexes. That understanding must still flow BOTH ways. A man is not obligated to call a woman back anymore than a woman is obligated to accept his invitation. It should not be rocket science that women who seek accommodation should be willing to be accommodating. Just because you think that you had the perfect date with a man does not obligate the man to agree with you or even to call you back. Know this b4 or learn it after. TCIY!

[nancydrew5]

"Just because you think that you had the perfect date with a man does not obligate the man to agree with you or even to call you back. Know this b4 or learn it after. TCIY"

I guess you must be telling Paul who made this video this message because he's the one who must think women feel a man is obliged to call them back since he made the video. I say who cares why a man didn't call me back after one date. NEXT!

[vmoney65]

@nancydrew5

Not at all, I'm telling any woman who has been frustrated by a man not calling her back. If that is not you, which I infer from your attitude, then this video does not apply to you which makes me wonder why you are even here let alone why you have posted so many posts.

[nancydrew5]

And women shouldn't spend their time being frustrated about some dude they barely know, they've gone out on one single date with. They shouldn't be worried about why that dude a virtual stranger didn't call them back. NEXT that dude, they didn't invest all that much in him anyway to be wasting time worry about why he didn't call. Just move onto someone else who will call and be consistent. I know guys egos don't like to hear this. They like thinking women sit around pining over them.

[vmoney65]

@nancydrew5

Your NEXT! Doesn't hurt a real man, actually it makes his life EASIER. TICK TOCK. Why? Because men know that persistence trumps attraction when finding mates. You are clearly very young. Here's the truth: For several reasons, a woman's iron is hottest in her YOUTH. There is no job that trumps that. Make yer choices, take yer chances, and live with the consequences. Waste time at your own risk. The choice is yours.

[nancydrew5]

I don't know what you mean by persistence trumps attraction when finding mates. I think mutual attraction is very important. But I'm not going to 'persist' in running behind some dude who isn't interested enough in me to return a phone call to me. A woman iron is plenty hot, it's the men's iron that gets soft as they get older which is why they created viagra. I heard women become more sensual and sexual as they get older and I'm looking forward to that. Younger men like older women.

[vmoney65]

Simple MATHEMATICS: Persistence trumps attraction= any man can find a woman meeting his "standard" if he is willing to ask enough women. Whether he finds her in 10 women or 10,000 women, he only needs to score 1 woman. Even if 9,999 out of 10,000 women reject him, he still CONTROLS how many women he steps to. Persistence. Women rely on attraction. Attraction is relative. Hally Berry has options, Hally Scary may not. Neither CONTROLS who steps to them let alone the QUALITY of who steps to them.

[nancydrew5]

Neither CONTROLS who steps to them let alone the QUALITY of who steps to them.

Vmoney I never had any problems with men stepping to me. I'm usually having to turn guys away. However I do control who steps to me. Women know how to behave to let a man know she's interested in him and if he is interested enough and has some gumption he'll make his move. Women also know how to behave when she Does not want a man to step to her. She knows how to put a guy off & guys can read the nonverbal cues.

[vmoney65]

BS. You're still so young that I can smell your mother's milk on your lips. Most young women don't have a problem with brothers stepping to them. Again, investment isn't about the present, it's about the future because I guaranty that there will come a day when the spigot of quality men that approach you will become a trickle. Halle Berry is pretty AND rich with standards too, but she still ended up divorced twice and a so-called "sex addict" for a husband.

[nancydrew5]

" Again, investment isn't about the present, it's about the future"

Again mixing up topics here, what does investment have to do with this topic about why he didn't call you back? You can't even keep two video topic separate and straight Mr. BS in computer science. lol

[vmoney65]

I'll say this again: The path to marriage and a good father in the lives of your children goes through men. Either you feel that you will benefit from their insight or you don't. If you don't, fine. Just as you attempt to implore me to agree to disagree I hold you to _your own_ ruler as it relates to Paul's topics and note that a zillion posts later you fall way short. Btw: In chess we call that: Checkmate.

[nancydrew5]

Vmoney "I'll say this again: The path to marriage and a good father in the lives of your children goes through men"

You say that like you've said something profound. All you're saying is if you want marriage and you want a good father for your kids you need a man to do that. I agree with that, that's not some Dali Lami stuff you just said. That's on the same level as saying,, "The path to going to Disney World lies with a good set of wheels and a car. And so what?

[nancydrew5]

Agree to disagree and nothing you can post all the insults about my youth can change it. (You sound almost mad that women my age don't want you so you keep making snide comments about my youth) could it be you're lusting after a 20 something year old and she won't give you the time of day? Wise woman. lol How old are you anyway? While you're telling me to watch my attitude you should check yours and how you are coming across in your postings. It's not nice. Both times you've come after me.

[vmoney65]

Again, I challenge YOU to follow your own advice.

[nancydrew5]

Vmoney, Where is your wife and children, your significant other? Since you're up here advising women on how you think they ought to behave and since you've been posting about Paul being married, whereas I'm not (though I'm engaged), where is your SO? Seems like to me you ought to be married at 44 by now with kids and enjoyiing the good life you talk about. Why are you alone at 44 (I checked your profile) and posting on Youtube? Where's your white woman or international woman? Where she at?

[vmoney65]

Yeah, that's why a man can just shave his head for free and still be considered sexy at 50 while women go broke coloring and extending their hair at 35. Some younger men like some older women. Tellya what: Be a single mom in her mid to late 30s with 3 kids sporting a few dress sizes larger than you were 10-15 years ago and bring us back a photograph of that long line of younger men waiting to beat a path to your door. I'm sure there are some older sisters around here that would like to see it.

[nancydrew5]

Vmoney are you married? In a committed relationship? Do you have kids? since you know so much about women and what they need to do and ought to do,where is your SO? What does she have to say? My fiance loves me for who I am not just what I look like.  And men who are 50 using viagra to get a hard on shouldn't talk about what an older woman looks like, because older women (at least my older women friends who are unmarried in their 40's get asked out by younger men all the time. :-)

[vmoney65]

Firstly, this isn't about me one way or the other. By your attempted logic, you should shut up because Paul IS married and YOU are not. As for being 50, God willing I'll see it just as you will. The difference between us is that I'm WISER than you and mature enough to realize it. As for your 40 something friends, that's what they tell you eh? lol.

[nancydrew5]

@Vmoney "By your attempted logic, you should shut up because Paul IS married and YOU are not. "

Are you married Vmoney? You didn't answer my questions about your wife, finacee, SO so where is she? Who is up there sharing your big 4 bedroom home with 2 car garage and attic? And you say that Paul is married like that is such an accomplishment!! Every 3rd person and his grandmother is married, that's not a big deal. I'm not married Yet but I'm engaged and at 26 YO I've accomplished plenty.

[vmoney65]

At 26 YO, you're nothing except 26... MOST 26 year olds talk like you do regardless of what they think they have or don't have. You're vain, overconfident, and foolish but because I am merciful, I'm going to tell you when your world is going to get ROCKED: When you learn that whether it be your husband or children, how many things will REQUIRE you to put them FIRST whether you LIKE IT or NOT. Trading stats with a 26 year old kid is foolishness because you are nobody to measure up to.

[nancydrew5]

So when you were 26 Vmoney did you consider yourself to be nothing? I am somebody and was since the day I was born. What is your age? Are you going to answer that question? What is your romantic status? Where is your wife, your SO, your kids? Why aren't you answering that question? I've asked you 3x now and you skip over this tidbit of info and continue to put me down because of my age and because you don't like that I don't agree with you. Who is sharing their life with you? Answer

[vmoney65]

You put your age out there although I was able to tell that you were mid 20s. Why? Because most people your age talk as you do. I'm not answering your question because I'm not here to throw you a bone. In the real world adults make their way without help OR haven't you learned that yet? Lastly, When I was 26, regardless of what I thought at the time looking back many years later I am smart enough to look back and realize that I had a lot yet to learn JUST AS YOU DO. (still learning too)

[nancydrew5]

I don't think you are wiser Vmoney you sound like a bitter old man to me. Nobody that I or any of my friends would care to date. you're no gentleman that's for sure. Look how you talk to women? It's no wonder nobody wants you or you have to go out of the country to get a woman. Just look at how you come off through your postings. You're mean, nasty ugly attitude towards women and anyone who disagrees with you. You think you have to be right

[vmoney65]

To you, of course I do because you don't have the life experience to know the difference. Next, I don't date women in the mid 20s/ Too immature and lacking of discipline for me. Unless from a conservative culture, you usually have to be at least 29 to arouse my interest. So I suspect that you and your friends may consider yourselves "safe". Go out of the country? Silly woman, women of every country are here. Guess what? Many agree with me. Mean? I'm not the one telling folks their worth.

[nancydrew5]

"Go out of the country? Silly woman, women of every country are here. Guess what? Many agree with me. Mean? I'm not the one telling folks their worth."

I'm glad you don't date women my age, they wouldn't want you anyway not because of your age but your negative attitude. BTW, for the 5th time, where is your wife, your fiancee, your SO, your kids, who are you spending your quality time with besides up here on Youtube posting to me? Where is your woman?

[vmoney65]

BTW: For the 5th time, make your case on your own merits or yield to superior logic. I'm not about to trounce you for another 50 posts because you THINK that if I lay out my life experience you can find some meat to pick at in the effort to distract away from the fact that by the same logic you are trying to assert, the originator of this video trumps you. You can't get me because I see you coming. It's the advantage of being older than 26. Ad Hominem, look it up.

[nancydrew5]

But Vmoney,you can dish it out but can't take it. You've been picking on me this whole time, on my age and my alleged immaturity.  I told my age because I know what I've accomplished and your opinion in no way changes who or what I am. I'm not ashamed of my age so I put it out there. Why can't you do the same with your relationship status. You've been insulting and nitpicking making snide remarks about my age all night, so now when I ask you to put it out there, you deflect. I peep it. :)

[vmoney65]

Deflection? Picking? I didn't put your business out there? You did. You claim to be an adult, accept responsibility for your choices. I have news for you: In 10 years you'll know exactly how much you DIDN'T know. There's no deflection, I simply know that nothing I say will matter, so there is no need to say anything. I know this because I'm older than 26. I don't have teets, so you'll have to get your milk from someone else. You don't respect Paul's experience, I don't respect yours. Deal.

[nancydrew5]

Vmoney are you married? Divorced? Did your wife leave you? If she did why? What did you or she do? Put it out there, don't keep deflecting. Let us young naive (according to you) learn from your experience. Why don't you teach us. Even Paul talked about what his wife did for him. So provide some real world personal example based on your relationship status for the rest of us, instead of continuing to advise women and put down women.

[vmoney65]

Ad hominem: look it up. Check it, if you had anything to say worthwhile you'd be saying it, as that you are doing your best to get in my business, I must conclude that you're spent. Again, if personal status meant anything, Paul's would have silenced you long ago. You talk about the women that rejected me in my youth? I have now lived long enough to see some of those same women look me up long after I forgot about them. God is my homeboy and will show you anything if you live long enough.

[nancydrew5]

Ad hominem: look it up

Yeah I know about the many tatics used in debatind, contexomy straw men tactics usually used in politics etc but all of that deflection (another tactic) still doesnt answer my question Vmoney. You choose to think Im trying to tangle you up. But again this is you projecting. If you are cool with where you are, youd just say what your status is. If you feel insecure about it and think its something I would attack, then youd hold back.

[vmoney65]

I'm cool with where I am regardless of whether I say my status and my security doesn't depend upon you. I just recognize that if anyone's status were enough to make you yield, the author of this video's status would have made you yield already. You don't get an answer because there's nothing in it for me. Besides, you're not qualified to evaluate me, stop trying. You're a first grader trying to grade my Calculus II homework. If you can't spell "derivative" there's no sense in showing you one.

[nancydrew5]

Vmoney " If you can't spell "derivative" there's no sense in showing you one."

How someone spells isn't indicative of their IQ or their intellect. I know some very smart people in math and sciences who suck at grammar and spelling. Besides we aren't in school, this is Youtube people use shortcuts and misspelled words and text language all the time, stop nitpicking just to have something to say. This deflection still shows you didn't say your relationship status lol

[vmoney65]

You claimed that you knew what E=Mc^2 means, I just proved that you didn't know what you're talking about, just like... our current conversation. You're right, I'm not going to say because it doesn't matter because if I did, you wouldn't yield anyway. There is nothing in it for me, in addition to the fact that I have nothing to prove to a 26yo. Again, Paul IS married. So by the logic you are attempting to assert, our whole conversation is a distraction.

[nancydrew5]

Vmoney are you mixing up topics again? lol, You have a hard time admitting that you don't know everything even at your age whatever it is. You like to taunt, others but you can't take it. You asked me about the Einstein formula, I asked you about this formula, A7sus4. You refuse to answer my questions and then try to flip it back on me by saying you have nothing to prove by answering my questions. Yet you feel you can ask me questions. Double -standard. It''s been real, HNY Man,

[vmoney65]

I don't care about music. You put your business out there because YOU thought it could buttress your flimsy points. It couldn't because it never mattered. It doesn't matter in my case either, so I won't throw you the bone that you keep begging me for. You're fishing for a distraction because you have to. Your opinion only seems credible because you misrepresent this video and create straw-men arguments. You just don't like being outted. You should make your case on true merit or withdraw.

[nancydrew5]

'You talk about the women that rejected me in my youth? I have now lived long enough to see some of those same women look me up long after I forgot about them''

And so what? You just said that people who are young what they do don't count because according to you young people don't know anything so if you were rejected in your youth, you shouldn't hold it against the woman because she didn't know any better and you should be glad she is coming to you now because I guess now she knows.

[nancydrew5]

"God is my homeboy and will show you anything if you live long enough."

Well I hope he continues to show you stuff and make you less bitter and angry towards women and women who rejected you that you have this chip on your shoulder. You remind me of my ex who I dated after HS and into college even when he didn't go to college, but we wanted different things in life and went our separate ways. He is still mad at that.

[vmoney65]

Bitter? Nah. Blessed. Unlike your ex, I am old enough to look back and understand that some relationships don't make it for good reason despite what we may have thought we wanted at the time. I am old enough to recognize that sometimes when we don't get what we think we want, it is God saving us from ourselves. You aren't mature enough to understand that, this is why the concept of your list is so stupid. Many people marry people that they'd never thought they'd get with, and are better for it.

[nancydrew5]

Vmoney " Paul IS married and YOU are not" No I'm engaged to be married

Vmoney are you married? In a committed relationship? Do you have kids? since you know so much about women and what they need to do and ought to do,where is your SO? Who is living in your 4bdrm 2 car garage house? where are your kids? You're talking an aweful lot of smack but where is your wife, your SO, your kids? I have 2 godkids who spend 1 month in the summer with me. I also volunteer my time with kids in a music camp.

[vmoney65]

Fishing? Usually a sign of week logic.

Besides, you're fight isn't with me because I didn't create this topic or video, I just agreed with it. By the logic that you are attempting to assert, Paul is more qualified than you. He isn't engaged, he didn't just get married. So to be consistent, there's no way you could justify all of your silly posts using the standard that you are attempting to apply to me. Thus I reject your attempt. Take the blue pill and believe what you want to believe.

[nancydrew5]

When I posted my comments Vmoney, I was posting my thoughts same as other posters who may or may not have agreed with Paul. Since when is posting differing thoughts considered fighting? Do u think everyone is supposed to agree? I'm sure Paul understands that not everyone will agree with him. And yes I am fishing, so bite the bait and tell me where your wife, children, SO, fiancee and woman is? Where is she since you're all opinionated about women and how they ought to behave. Where's yours?

[vmoney65]

Fishing is weak logic for weak minds. Certainly not worthy of a graduate degree. I never asked you your status: I didn't need to to make my case. You put it out there because you thought it would make a difference. Weak logic. It doesn't. So check this smart girl: It's called an Ad Hominem attack and is one of the well established logical fallacies. You didn't just disagree with Paul, you attacked him (his person and credibility). Why cry now that we play by the rules you established?

[nancydrew5]

Vmoney" It's called an Ad Hominem attack and is one of the well established logical fallacies."

And what you're doing is called deflection/distraction. Try to distract the audience from the fact that you can't answer a simple logical question. Trying to deflect the attention away from the fact that for a guy who talk smack about women, he can't seem to answer a simple question about where his own woman/family is. I know you didn't ask me my status but I put it out there for credibility sake.

[nancydrew5]

Just as you kept throwing up in my face the fact that Paul unlike me is married (as If I didn't hear that for myself from Paul's own lips) You kept throwing that up to establish Paul's credibility that gives him license to talk about relationships because he is married. So move to strike your honor, my question isn't weak logic it goes towards credibility. Again, since you're up here telling women how to behave, where is your wife, family kids?

[nancydrew5]

Vmoney ": I didn't need to to make my case."

Oh but you do Vmoney, how you gonna be up in here talking noise when you haven't proven t that you have a woman of your own. How are gonna be up in here telling women what they ought to do when you can't get or keep a woman yourself? Again goes towards credibility and you've just shot yours down. At any rate being married is a state of being. I know happily married people and unhappily married people. Still it's odd you won't answer the question.

[vmoney65]

It's not odd at all, it doesn't matter one way or another. It's not as if after I'd told you whatever that you'd shut up. If that were the case, Paul's experience would have shut you up a long ago. Can't keep a woman? Yeah, take the blue pill and believe what you want to believe. My credibility is not at stake. I didn't make this video, Paul did. The only way I'd even consider answering the question is if you vowed to never post in one of Paul's videos again. Plus I know you'd lie.

[nancydrew5]

Vmoney, "It's not odd at all, it doesn't matter one way or another. It's not as if after I'd told you whatever that you'd shut up"

For somebody who keeps telling me to shut up, why don't you take your own advice and shut up because my initial comments weren't even addressed to you. Remember you came after me, and I said I agree to disagree and YOU wouldn't let it go and then got mad because I wouldn't back down.

[vmoney65]

Firstly you were the one extolling the virtues of agreeing to disagree, and yet you came to this video with post after post unable to do the same. You attacked Paul's character and credibility, but now cry that yours is scrutinized... and the worst: despite claiming some status we should respect, now stand flailing begging me to throw you a bone. Your initial comments were disrespectful to this bm (Paul) trying to make a positive contribution in an otherwise well received forum.

[nancydrew5]

Firstly you were the one extolling the virtues of agreeing to disagree, and yet you came to this video with post after post unable to do the same.

Paul what has this video got to do with the other, they are two different videos and neither of my comments on both videos were directed at you. YOU were the one who followed me into this video coming after me. Again I received both videos from a friend and my comment was not directed at you. You're taking this personally. Anyway enough already

[nancydrew5]

It's been fun and interesting, but my guy is back and now it's 'his time':-) He's sucking his teeth as I'm typing this saying, "you're still tackling with that idiot? I told him you were a lonely 44 year old man. He said you just need to get some loving and you'll be alright, but he said you aren't going about it the right way. He told me to leave you alone and use this energy to more satisfying things. (I'm editing how he said it) but Check out Jill Scott's Crown royal song and you'll know.

[vmoney65]

Oh just go have sex with him, that's all he's there for :)

[vmoney65]

Oh yeah, and tell yer man: Better him than me. I've walked away from better than he appears to have :)

[nancydrew5]

Don't hate on my finance just because you don't seem to have anybody. It'll be alright Vmoney there, there. dry your tears. LOL.

[vmoney65]

Tears? Are you serious?

Oh yeah that's right: You don't know what I know or don't know, have or don't have, who I've been with or haven't been with, or anything...that's why it's called: FISHING. However, I will say this: Nothing makes me happier that he has signed up to take you off the market :) Trust. LOL.

[nancydrew5]

You've insulted women who are both young and old and now get mad when I talk about men. Why is it you can dish it out but can't take it. Hally Hag, women who are too big with 3 kids, women who are too old. Hello, Mr. Vmoney these are your insults to women. And it is true, most men in their 50's do use viagra so that isn't an insult it's a fact. Why are you putting down women young and old. First they're too young, then they're too old. No pleasing you.

[vmoney65]

I'm not the one so arrogant as to propose that I am in a position to be judging people as being "at (or not at) my level". When men do this to women, they are called out. When I was your age, I was at the TOP of my class for my skills. GROWING UP enabled me to understand that this did not make me better than anyone else enough to judge who's "at my level" This foolishness is the chain around your neck. Your entitlement mentality is disgusting and won't survive into your 30s.

[nancydrew5]

And I'm not referring to Paul at this point. I'm posting my comments addressing you Mr. Vmoney. Up in here telling women this and that, but can't back up your comments by actually posting your relationship status. If you can't talk about your own personal experience and something positive, then you're just another 44 year old bitter man hating on women. Yes Paul is married, I'm engaged and I'm 26. You are 44 and? single, because you're talking about international women, you put Bm down.

[vmoney65]

Helena is belittled because she attempts to use her success as justification for being a bitch and goes further to try to use her bitchiness to achieve greater success. IE: Writes a book and hopes to sell a movie based upon black female bitchiness. I suppose if a black man made a movie justifying why WW made for better companions, you'd all love him right? He could come here to post why BW weren't on his level and couldn't appreciate him like WW could. Stop the madness.

[nancydrew5]

Actually she said her book is based part on sex in the city and Bridget Jones diary, neither of which is about bitchiness. That is just the title to 'catch reader's attention and sell the book'. Did you hate on sex in the city and Bridget Jones Diary? Her book is a black version of that. Or is it because a BW wrote this book, you are jumping on the title and hating on the black woman because she is successful? You don't even know what the content of the book is about and u are spewing hate

[vmoney65]

@nancydrew5

Again, 4u and 4 all other women who delude themselves into thinking bm hate on a bw's success: First I AM a successful bm, whether a woman makes more or less than me makes NO DIFFERENCE TO ME because I have GREAT credit, pay my own bills and financially don't need her at all. What's hilarious to me about women and their success is that it is STILL as valid for a woman to marry success as it is for her to earn it herself. I think that is what YOU are hating on.

[nancydrew5]

Vmoney what the heck are you talking about in this video, we are talking about Paul saying why men don't call them back, whaqt has your credit, payiing your own bills and not needing her financially have to do with this video? Are you getting confused/ And why are you writing this 12 hours ago on New Years Eve 2009? You don't have nything better to do than to spend an evening alone posting messages on Youtube? I left at 10:30 to go to a house party man, you still posting. U have a date?

[vmoney65]

This is what it comes down to: Either women want some insight as to why men aren't calling them back OR THEY DON'T. If they do, they shouldn't be surprised at the thought that for various reasons, the man in the situation isn't feeling them. While there are exceptions to every rule, sisters are either interested in what men think or they are not. If they are NOT, then perhaps they should ask themselves why a man would be attracted to a woman that doesn't care about what he thinks... Just sayin

[nancydrew5]

It's sad but I did a quick search and I couldn't find videos where WM and WW are making videos putting each other's gender down. I bet white folks are sitting back laughing saying, 'We did our job in slavery pretty well. Black folks are like crabs in a bucket. They destroy themselves we don't have to do anything. So many negative videos putting bm and especially bW down all over utube. Nobody talked about the women of sex in the city, but Helena is belittled because she is successful.

[Debsterism]

Who cares why he didn't call? If he didn't he just wasn't that interested. A woman should not waste time wondering why, just move on and find a man that thinks she is fantastic and who WANTS TO CALL HER. Don't waste time feeling bad or chasing after a man that has no interest in you. Weak men want a woman that is submissive and quiet. But it doesn't matter, if he doesn't want you for whatever reason he had and its really not important why.

[bluebychoice]

@Debsterism, I think he's saying you can't fully know someone after one date, so why not think about what went wrong so in the future you can get a 2nd date and the chance to learn more about the person you like. You don't want to miss a great opportunity because you're too PROUD to wonder what went wrong. 1) You can always learn from self-evaluation, and 2) first impressions may not be accurate, so why not think about ways to get that 2nd date to learn more about your date.

[Debsterism]

The poor logic is that every 1st date SHOULD be followed by a second one. I disagree. The telephone is an excellent tool for getting to know someone. Ask smart questions and you'll find out if a second date or even a 1st is warranted. It's not a matter of pride, its a matter of using logic and common sense. Every1 you are attracted to does not click, have similar values, outlook, relationship interest, etc. and that can be discovered via phone. Pass the phone test, THEN a 2nd date might be yrs

[nancydrew5]

@Debsterism "Pass the phone test, THEN a 2nd date might be yrs" U have a lot of insight. A gf of mine told me she knew from the way this dude was talking to her over the phone that she had no intention of going out to meet him for coffee at Starbucks. Dude started bringing up sex talk within a few seconds of their convo. Then he would text her all of the time. She knew then no date was going to happen. Another friend told me how a dude groped her on the first date and that was his last date.

[nancydrew5]

@Debsterism. I agree with you completely. What is it with these BM that they want women to run in behind them as if they are the prize to be won. If a man doesn't call, NEXT!! Plenty more fishes in the sea where that came from. I wouldn't waste my time assessing myself as though I'm the one automatically at fault because some dude didn't return my call. why put myself down like that. He wasn't interested end of story. Room for the next dude who is. Women don't have to pine over some man.

[Kelmichelle1]

Interesting. The suggestions are helpful and at the same time very debatable.

I do think women should be more conscious of the "bossy" syndrome..

[vmoney65]

@Kelmichelle1 :

Yes, they should. If you were a man would you want to go home EVERYDAY to a "bossy woman" when you could either live alone and return to your quiet home OR return home to a woman that isn't bossy? The point is that relationships aren't just about what women want from men, they are still also about what men want from women. Most men, don't want bossy.

[TonyaTko]

LOL! This video was so funny at several parts.

1. I HOPE wih all of my heart you are not suggesting that women have any man over to her HOUSE after 1 or 2 acquaintings.

2. Sexy Dress on a first or second date? Plz tell me you're joking.

3. Find a "Non-Bossy" nurturing man? So she can truly be the one with the bawls in the relationship. Which really sounds like a cover for Down-Dating

4. Continued

-Tko

[TonyaTko]

4. Is this advice for getting a second call or getting the "Booty Call?" Listen to what youre saying: Dress sexy on the first date then invite him over to your house for a nice homecooked meal in a doggone apron for date 2 or three? This a dating disaster for any woman who wants to be looked at as MORE than just a piece of pu&&y, ESPECIALLY dating someone less successful than She.

You seem a lil idealistic abt dangerous dating maladies and the pariahs who live on these atrocities

-Tko

[vmoney65]

@TonyaTko

Here's the problem: you have to get in the door first to be considered. It's *all* academic until you get on deck. From there, only the woman can set the standard for whether she'll be treated like a prostitute or not... aprons have nothing to do with it. Lastly pertaining to the men who are less successful- STOP IT. For every man at whatever level of success, there are plenty of women who are less successful than he, that he can choose over Ms. too successful to avoid the issue.

[TonyaTko]

@vmoney, you're off point. Its dangerous to have a strange man in your place of residence after ONE or TWO meetings.... ESPECIALLY if when you met him you went Out of your way to dress sexy. It sends across a very poor message. And there are men who are more successful than women at any level. I just wish BW's didnt limit themselves to BM.

-Tko

[Debsterism]

Just yesterday a teacher at my kid's school pulled me aside to share that a recent date had brought her home, pushed his way into her apt., threw her to the floor and ripped her clothes. He was taking his off when she screamed; neighbors who knew she was on a date broke down the door and beat dude's butt. He's in jail now. It is too risky to have strange men in your house as not everyone is sane; some look for overly trusting women to victimize. Vulnerable women seeking love = easy victim.

[nancydrew5]

Wow Debsterism. That's scary, I bet Paul didn't even think about this scenario when he's encouraging women to run behind some man who didn't return her call and invite her to her place after a limited interraction. Does this Paul dude have any kids? Any daughters? He talks nonsense to me. That woman could have been raped! Thank goodness for her neighbors. A woman has a right to take all the time she wants to get to know a man in a comfy setting he shouldn't be in her home.

[nancydrew5]

These dudes like Paul are dangerous, they seem young, less than 30, they get their certified coaching license, then they start putting up youtube videos and websites spouting nonsence and people buy into what they are saying like sheep. These dudes have very little experience with life in general, but they talk like they know. People anybody can put up a utube video, don't believe everything someone tells you just because they said it. Look at their agenda. This dude's agenda is questionable.

[nancydrew5]

At TonyaTko,

LOL I'm with you girl, this dude sounds like a sissy to me. A little mama's boy looking for a woman who wants to treat him like his mama did. He already said in another video that his wife was someone who 'built him up, propped him up, and helped him be the man he is today. LOL . There is someone for everyone and apparently he found a wife who wanted to also be his 'mama'. So now he posts a video attempting to claim women who don't get call backs are bossy. NEXT!

[OneDegreeFromMe]

@nancydrew5 - I truly appreciate the time you have committed to watching my videos & providing feedback! Some quick points:

1) You're right, I am a "Mama's Boy." I'm not sure what your definition of this is but I do love my mother with all of my heart.

2) The "Bossy" reason for not calling a woman back is just one of several, however, it happens to be one of the more popular according to my experiences as well as research by my friend Rachael Greenwald - 10yr Harvard U. study on men and dating.

[nancydrew5]

My definition of a Mama boy is a grown man looking for a woman to prop him up, build him up and make a man out of him. A man looking for a woman to be his mama as well as his wife, and mother of his kids. Meanwhile he certainly isn't her daddy.

[nancydrew5]

And as for as that study. That doesn't mean a hill of beans to me. I'd have to know details of the study including the demographhic info regarding the men (only 1000) not a large sampling to see if that is representative. Scientist conduct flawed studies all the time. Studies are not irrefutable evidence. There are studies done to correct flawed studies. I'd be more interested in what men considered 'bossy behavior. That depends on the man's issues and his threshold.

[OneDegreeFromMe]

I see...well, for the Mama's boy definition, I don't think of myself as that but you're suited to your own opinion. In terms of the study, if you have specific questions, please contact Rachael directly - she is very receptive to comments.

[nancydrew5]

Thanks for suggesting I contact Rachael directly. ;-) However I don't have to contact her, I do have people I know who can conduct their studies as well. I also can do my own research into demographics and conduct my own study. I'm smart enough to do that and not accept the word as gospel of what anyone says just because they say it and graduated from Harvard. I have a graduate degree too and have sense enough to fact find myself. :-) Thank you.

[nancydrew5]

PaulOnedegreeFromMe.

Even though I don't agree with your videos' this one or the other one here on Youtube. I do apologize for calling you a name. (I won't repeat it). As for the mama's boy. There is nothing wrong with loving your mother. I adore my mother. But I think you know when women call men 'Mama's boys they know it is not in reference to men loving their mothers. If you didn't know that by now, now you do. :) Happy New Year.

Peace

Nancydrew

[nancydrew5]

One man's bossy does not mean every man is bossy has the same definition of bossy. Case in point. It depends on how the BM take what is said. So just saying a 'study' was conducted doesn't make it legit especially since i don't know details behind that study.

[nancydrew5]

Try doing a video on why men don't get second dates on women if you truly want to provide a well rounded viewpoint of this subject Paul otherwise this comes off as you being yet another dude insidiously putting women down. And you're so suave with it, but I peep it. Trying to say it's the woman's fault. Sometimes women are the one's turning down men for second dates. I see through your agenda and it doesn't look positive for women. How your wife supports you in this is beyond me.

[OneDegreeFromMe]

I like that idea for another video - thank you! I am honestly not trying to "put anyone down." I am simply trying to create constructive conversation and provoke thought. My agenda is to help strengthen relationships. That said, from the 100s of comments I have received via our various platforms, you have been the most vocal and I look forward to earning your support.

[nancydrew5]

Paul wrote: "hat said, from the 100s of comments I have received via our various platforms, you have been the most vocal and I look forward to earning your support."

Well you won't be getting my support if you continue to make videos like this and the other one you did about Helena. I have 4 successful brothers so I know not all men come at it from your hidden agenda which is to belittle women. I see it even if you refuse to.

[nancydrew5]

My brothers would tell me all the time growing up, girl please, later for that jigga. if he can't appreciate who you are it's his loss! They'd be the first on in my corner and the first one who'd tell a woman not to sit by the pone waiting on some dude to call. 2 of my brothas with daughters would regard your videos as poisonous to women's self esteem and will insure young impressionable women judge their self worth by what some dude thinks.

[nancydrew5]

A date is just that, people go out feel each other out and go from there if a mutual interest develops enough to pursue it further it happens. People get together all the time. I've known people engaged to someone broke up their engagement and got with someone else. I've known women who walked out on a dude who was texting instead of talking to her and dude called her the next day because he admired she didn't put up with that crap. They're engaged today. You act as though women are being...

[nancydrew5]

Paul rather than advocate having women sit by the phone and eat her heart out over why some dude didn't call, why not tell her to 'NEXT them and not waste 'the pretty' over wondering about some dude who simply was not interested enough in them to call. If a dude is really interested a woman her so called bossiness is not going to put him off to the degree that he wouldn't call. and if it does, he just isn't the man for her. Just not interested it's as simple as that.

[OneDegreeFromMe]

I am not advocating to sit by the phone and simply wait but I am advocating being aware of the various stereotypes men have and therefore being empowered to make strategic choices. For example, if you go out w/ 10 men back-to-back (or women - the argument applies to both sexes) & not one shows interest (by calling/texting/emailing back), don't you see value in knowing why? It's no different if you had 10 job interviews & they all denied you, wouldn't knowing why they rejected you be helpful?

[nancydrew5]

What is your background besides that of having a coaching certificate? 1.comparing job interviews and romantic dates is comparing apples and oranges. 2. Your argument implies that men are rejecting women in droves, when in fact more often it is the woman who chooses to go on a date, a man can ask and a woman chooses. 3. Your video post the negative assumption that if a man doesn't call a woman back it is some fault that lies with the woman or the man for that matter. A date is just that.

[nancydrew5]

You act as though women are being rejected by men left and right as though nobody wants to date the black woman because she is too something. Then you back it up with the flawed comparing dating to job interviews. Look, sell your video to someone who swallows hook line and sinker. I certainly don't need your dating advice considering I'm in a committed relationship but even if I were not, I wouldn't take advice from some dude who implies that BW are too something for a man. Get real brotha.

[anandaleeke]

hi paul. i love your video series. your videos are great research for my next novel about a man who dates in dc. thanks.

[gettogetha]

This is a great video..but dating and the whole "getting a man" thing is truly layered. I think a woman should truly be herself and truly like herself to "attract" the right guy for her. A woman can always do things to "look" good..but when the layers are peeled away: makeup, hair, body type...the woman has to be secure and confident with herself...not be bi-polared about the right thing to do on a first date. There is not "right" thing...because dating isn't formulaic and neither are men.

[guyanascunt123]

Wow, this is great guy. I think you brought up some really good tips. Are you planning on posting more videos? Also, you mentioned that you are a matchmaker..Do you have an actual service or website? I am a professional male in search of a great woman and would love to utilize your services.

[MsKimmie3]

I think he's right. Unfortunately, everyone stereotypes in some way and relationships are about playing roles. He's just the messenger.

[AuntieDiluvian]

I found this irksome. I'm sure you are right about many things, but do we really want a relationship which is all about playing roles and/or being stereotyped? No thanks.

[vmoney65]

@AuntieDiluvian

Both genders have expectations of each other. There is no way around it. To the extent that we find ourselves unable to convince one another of our ability to meet each others' expectations, we will be incompatible. This hurts women more because attraction is an inferior strategy when compared to perseverance.