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  • Few months ago I go into the Italian consulate. I have to empty my pockets to go through the metal detector. I realize I have my knife on me (Nasty serrated H&K job), as well as a heavy chain (came back from dog training), and a few other things that wouldn't get past airport security anywhere. I put all this stuff in the basket and the guard, leaning back in his seat just sort of gives me a look. I go through, it still beeps, and without even leaning forward he just waived me through. lol!

  • @LG396 Well on the other hand I'm not fucking surprised by that.

  • italian police are fags

  • well, better to have a smoking policeman than a nervous one.. who mighty be just a little too eager to get his gun off.. paperwork issue is exactly the other way round: there's too much of it.. which is about like having none at all because people tend not to waste time with it.. they merge it with the waste. no, seriously.. people do work. they just couldn't care any less about tomkat.. it is true about the pornstar though.. as it is true that half the parliament is... I won't say it.

  • im italian and i found this hilarious

  • Bhè, è assai facile parlare dietro una televisione e dall'altra parte dell'oceano.

    Non credo che abbia il coraggio di dirlo in faccia ad un/a poliziotto/a italiano/a che rischia la vita per 1000 miseri euro al mese.

    Comunque è molto meglio tenere il mitra a tracolla che imbracciarlo, la seconda opzione il più delle volte implica l'aprire il fuoco.

  • @MrPaolo113 E' solo un comico, io non ci vedo malizia....

  • I'm italian and he's right....

  • Craig is not meant to be taken seriously...once he said that he, unlike ethiopians, would like his studio to be conquered by italians, cause "they would cook for everybody and bring fashion to this place" (more or less). But he can say anything, he's too funny!

  • It's comedy, not a reality check report, and the smoke and machine guns parts are close to the truth anyway. But actually he couldn't have been more wrong than this about paperwork: the probem is right the opposite, that is in Italia we have too much paperwork, thus also too much of it to file.........

  • I miss this. He used to be so funny, now it's all ranting and bashing CBS. He turned into too comfortable old man.

  • At least it demonstrates that Italians are COOOOOOOOL!

  • Im italian...and this is the most funny thing i've ever seen xD

  • isn't he irish?

  • @Baldpiece101

    Scottish

  • @Baldpiece101 Scottish.

  • HAha as an Italian-American... this is funny!!!

  • yeah.. not a good idea to taunt the commandos with the loaded MP5 machine guns. ive been through rome international. those guys are a scary bunch

  • as an italian i totally agree aswell

  • As an italian....i totally agree ^^

  • @ysurfer 

  • Craig is only 3/4 correct here; in Italy they love George Clooney they're indifferent to Tom Cruise. But I feel compelled to warn all non-Italians visiting the country: never, EVER mess with Italian airport security.

    They will kill you.

  • @Italonino Yes, just because Italians are laid back does NOT mean they won't do their jobs with incredible efficiency. Simple, and it gets done. This applies from everything from road works to the police... As some Serbian football hooligans found out recently. Bouncing around like animals messing with the police hitting them with sticks thinking they owned the place. Then the Polizia decided that was enough after a few minutes and beat the CRAP out of them. Hilarious.

  • gli zimbelli dell'europa, ci meritiamo questo e di peggio...

  • @robasci00 Parla per te,

    in quanto allo show, sono i soliti show sarcastici all'americana, bla, bla, e bla....

  • @fabriz975 ma hai tu hai capito? che dicono

  • @issentidu ....è simpaticissimo, dice che in Italia non si fa un cazzo da nessuna parte, persino i poliziotti fumano con il mitra a tracolla come fosse uno zainetto e fanno i fighi (...bella figura), poi abbiamo una porno star in parlamento (il video è vecchio) insomma.....simpaticissimo!

  • @Januacaeli beh insomma dire che non facciamo un cazzo.....per quanto riguarda il parlamento ha ragione, però anche loro hanno avuto un presidente che si faceva fare pompini da una stagista a lavoro....

    complimenti il tuo nick è particolare, porta del cielo, bello. Saluti

  • @issentidu E un attore mezzo nazista che governa la California.

  • aaaahahaha

    Him and Conan O'Brien are the best, hands down

    :D

  • ke massa di coglioni

  • @Quark130 i guess you dont know what a joke is and next time use spell check

  • oh,come on..i'm Italian and i'm not offended..! It's just an old stereotype!maybe it's not true...but it's funny.Just like marching germans & bitchy french... and Craig is awesome..get over it.xD :)

  • @freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez bappa di boopi!

  • @aseglkj lmao @ the Family Guy reference...tutsi frutsi to you ,too...xD

  • pornstar in italian parliament? 15 years ago..

    now there are 700/ 800 bitch (male-female)

  • LOL and yet hes not even american hes scottish and has his own tv program in america but LOL its true the way Italian police do wear their guns as if its a bag the strap goes right around their shoulder and chest

  • this is super funny!

    how ironic when he said italy dont do paper works! haha this made me laugh so bad!!!! hahaha

    FYI: it takes 1-2 months to recieve a request approval then another month for documents presentation then another 1-2 months of wating for documents approval then another 1-2 months for signing and final release XO ahaha..

    one things is for sure BUREAUCRACY sucks here! got to window onw then 50 then 5 then 2 just crazy! and the lines(dont have any.. make your own to b the d first)

  • you guys only showed us italians cant take a joke xD

  • only sin that culture was born in Italy and not in your barbaric country

  • bullshit .. Im from italy and italy is one of the most bureaucratic places in the world.. you have to have papers in order to be able to jack off...

  • @mobspeak hhaha so true hahahhaha Xp

    it has the MOST and the WORST ehhehe long process and waiting

  • this man is a loser...

    In america (psycho-paranoid-land) The policeman put the guns in front of you even if you are yawning...

    America is like a golden cage where you are free to be an idiot. By the way Forrest Gump explain how the American History was made by dumbasses...

  • I shoot you! lol

  • FOR FREE

  • i'm italian,and that's so true

  • Speak italian ASSHOLE!!

  • Actually we've got too much paperwork!

  • Agreed! Probably the country with the highest amount of paperwork in Europe.

  • @alexyinthesky I have to say there's paperwork, but most of the forms are WAY simpler than in the US/Canada. Literally just a few lines. If you're missing something you can just fill in a self-declaration. If they ask for one thing, ANY paper that shows roughly the same information will do.

    Took me years to move to the US, $10,000 in immigration lawyers (wife was American), and it was nearly impossible. Here it was a 20 minute process. And cops waive as you drive past at 140mph... Love it!

  • @LG396 Now, this is new to me. Where in Italy do you live if I may ask?

  • @alexyinthesky Modena. We had to show that we had money to support ourselves when for our residency. All we had was a printout of an account in Canada, not even a name on it. They took it, and apologized that it took almost 10 minutes for them to fill the forms us. Imported our goods tax free with a self declaration that we were exempt. As for the speed, Around here I'm 20-30 over cops tell me to hurry no radar or tutor within 25km on the A1. Gotten waves from police at 200+ and many "Avanti!!".

  • @LG396 I bet they accepted that paper because they were struggling to read it through! Anyway, what happened to you regarding the police makes me frown a bit, but I'm guessing that's the truth. And about the cameras, yep, there aren't many really and most of them you wonder yerself why the jizz they've even been installed.

  • Oh come on people, don't get angry. Its just a comedy show :)

    I laughed so hard ;D

  • 0:42 hehe, Priceless ! Craig is my favorite stand-up comedian !

  • viva l'italia e basta con la mafia l'italia non e solo fatta di siciliani

  • testa di cazzo di un inglese o americano che sei..noi non lavoriamo?? vieni a campare in italia con il mio stipendio poi vedi come ridi..parlate voi di fucili come borsette..che nonfate altro che andare in giro peril mondo a ammazzare civili peruna politica di merda e interessi vostri..quindi non parlatedell' italia pensate alle schifezzedel paese vostro assassini!! w l ' italia

  • please translate

  • parla italiano con me!! assassino!!

  • parla italiano maledetto americano ..assassini di bambini e donne..

  • Sono tedesco

  • l0000000000000l

  • craig is soooo hot.... ^_^

  • What does "chiudere su,la puttana" means? :D

  • puttana means dick dunno the other one

  • The word "Puttana" means "Whore" you idiot. If you don't speak a language you should probably keep yourself from translating it.

  • oi lad! whats with the attitude and calling me an "idiot"?? u could've just corrected me.. i can speak 4 languages btw just to inform..

    anyways lets dont fuck up a nice video with silly stuff..

  • You are right... I was just having a bad day I guess! Sorry! I speak 4 languages as well just to inform :)

  • Well like the way you said it, it means close up the whore....

  • @GattiF50

    Sono Italiano. Stavo scherzando sulla traduzione di un tipo che ha scritto quella roba la mesi e mesi fa.

  • It's absolutely hilarious how people think it's okay to make fun of other races/nationalities/ ethnicities, yet when their own country gets made fun of, they're offended to such a level.

  • and again. u muppet.

  • u fucking idiot! you dont need to write every word he just said. i just watched the fucking dam clip myself. retarded gimp.

  • HACKS

  • thank you very much..!

  • I'm italian and I don't understand what he said :( somebody tell me.. even in english

  • Inquietudine indossata. È stupido che dice.

  • Hello arivera3426! I'm from Italy, bitch, please try to learn my language instead of using Google translator to insult one of the greatest showmen of our time.

    cheers

  • Chiudere su, la puttana.

  • So am I.

    Grow up.

  • I'm sincerely missing the kiddy aspect of my sentence but considering your very powerful words and auctority I will not complain.

    Oh by the way I'm in a prep school, one day I'm kicking your stupid ass

  • I'm a 6ft4 rugby player.

    Good luck.

  • lmao his italian accent wasn't bad

  • He is just jealous because they have bigger guns than he will ever have.

  • canadian like you are queers.

  • Your rude verbal expressions have a little meaning to us.

  • so what about what 787ram said preety sure that aint comedy !!!! bitch

  • Well 787ram is clearly a Retard ..

    I love Italy

  • 'Hadrian's Wall'

  • lmao!!! THEY wear THEIR GUNS LIKE HANDBAG!!!

  • lol, Salvadoran guards sometimes carry their guns like that too

  • 0:57

  • 0:57

  • Comment removed

  • Comment removed

  • I SHOOT YOU! xD

  • LMFAO....

  • ek101184 quoted: [ THERE ISN'T ANY PAPER WORK IN ITALY!!!] there is, but the passionate/life-loving Italians, especially Men, don't do it = R not obsessed with it like in Britain. Italian men go: eating healty foods, drinking nice wines, listen to the OPERA, chase women, do fitness, shop/walk-about, look the part =Cutting" la BellaFigura" like the South Americans, instead of sitting in offices like ruins/shadows of "men"= cloths/mice, in theUK. In theUK they doN't close 4lunch but eat JUNK

  • I Shoot You! xD

  • THERE ISN'T ANY PAPER WORK IN ITALY!!!

  • Big deal.a porn star in parliment.The queen of England and here clan are the biggest whores around.

  • he is scottish from SCOTLAND!!! do we call canadians american? noooooo..... they are canadians and yes Canada belongs to America! so he is scottish, period!!

  • word

  • Craig is just FUNNY. Remind you of someone???

  • geez cant people realize that its comedy? i mean its not like hes only making fun of italians but he makes fun of everyone, including himself so just deal with it

  • he is scottish fyi

  • and that is part of britain fyi

  • no.. well i mean yes he is scottish

    but england scotland wales and irland make up BRITAIN.. so yes he is BRITISH.. like his country is part of great britain.

  • ahahhaha stereotypical but funny.

    but there aren't any pornstars in our parliament. maybe some assholes :D

  • wasn't there a former pornstar who became a member of parliament? vaguely remember reading something of the sort

  • You're right. In 1987 Ilona Staller, a former pornstar known as Cicciolina, became a MP in the Camera dei Deputati (the biggest one of the two houses of our Parliament). In the early 90s she found with Moana Pozzi, another popular pornstar, "Il partito dell'amore" (Party of Love), struggling for the sexual liberty of the crooks in jails. Nowadays I don't think there are pornstars in our Parliament, just bitches maybe.

  • yes, you are right!

  • As for the police's work and overall ability

    I must say this is a totally missed satiric stuff : Italy's police is one of the most skilled & best experienced .

    They've got to be that when they fight ev'ry day with real mafia and mad islamic terrorists , something the fatty ridiculous US policemen honestly only dream about !

    As for the paperwork and all the rest , again this poor dumb missed all up : he should have got informed instead of making a fool of himself this way.

  • In the whole European Union any passport, ID or driver licence control at the border lines doesn't exist anymore since several years ......XDD !!

    US genius XDD !!! How typical

  • What is this rubbish all about ???

    Who is this ridiculous dumb ??

    So funny and bizarre seeing that such a pathetic kind of criticism comes from one of the most violent & crime rated countries in the world the USA DD !!

    So funny seeing each time how hypocrit and one way childish minded are the rednecks : the US police ( or I should say their multiple polices ) is known to be

    racist & quite corrupt and the yankee policemen are known to be among the most stupid, violent and maddest .

  • david ferguson is from GB

  • lol i love the part about the mashinguns!

  • idiot.............. forever...

  • rude

  • i SHOOT YOU!

  • Is Craig purposely gay- conscious for comedic effect? Just wondering.

  • You must love us somehow for our uncaring laid back style, but it's mostly a style, and it's comedy. The problem is not no paperwork but too much useless paperwork in Italia. Asfor police, don't get fooled, they don't use taser (yet) or act all tough when no reason, bu on a personal level an italian policeman can be as much or more ready and able to properly use that gun even carried as a bag on the shoulder!

  • I'm Italian,at that was very funny!!!!!

  • OMG Just think of being shot by one of those big strong Italian Police Men with a full load while his weapon is over his shoulder, yet his gun is cocked any ready....hot damn.....

  • THEY DON'T HAVE PAPERWORK IN ITALY!!! hahahahahahahahahaha

    I'm italian but this video didn't offend me at all, everything he said is pretty much true...

  • lol. he's just joking around. and i'm italian too. it's okay, breathe.

  • lighten up mate

  • Dude, its called comedy. Learn to laugh at yourself every once in a while.

  • Your an idiot! It's comedy, the same way The Simpsons takes the piss out of Indian people with Apu....

    My nan is Italian by the way.

  • You're so right. :)

  • hahahaha I Shoot u!!!!!

    Very funny....

  • Comment removed

  • Oh, have a freakin' sense of humor. I don't get upset every time someone makes fun of Americans, which is pretty damn often. Lighten up.

  • oh my goD!!!I'm italian!!lol this guy is hilarious and unfourtunely he's right!

  • "i shoot u".....lol

  • Scusami ma praticamente queto che dice??? mi fai un reassunto?:-)

  • dice che noi in italia nn lavoriamo credo... e che la polizia usa il mitra come una borsetta firmata...credo poi io di inglese non è che ci capisca tanto però più o meno...

  • ma vedi a stò scemo..la borsetta gliela skiaffo in faccia la prossima volta

  • Craig is unmatched by any talk show hosts. He is the best.

  • he gives us news and something to laugh at all at once

  • True man My Papa was in Interpol did duty in Italy he always talked about its ,I'll be in Interpol too i hope il do duty in there i wanna see...lol Police Rulez anyways :D:D

  • I'm italian and this is so funny!!! ahahhahahahahahahahahahahah

    this is 50% true! buahahahahahahah

  • i traveled by sea to italy from greece with a group and there wasn t a n y paper check, a n y w h e r e ,believe it or not.i could actually go there without taking my id or passport!

  • yes because if you enter with your passport in one eupean nation you can travel for all europe without showing your ID or passport

  • heve you ever heard about EEC and Schengen??

  • I have to start tivoing this guy, he's hillarious.

  • It's funny because its true.

  • ferguson kicks kilbourn's ass....and is gettin up there wit conan

  • lol

  • I love this guy, he is so funny. Im scottish and I love his accent.

  • i live in naples (italy) and it's all true!

  • Well, our police is maybe not so tough, but at least they look good with their fashion uniforms... American police has no style at all.

  • he's funny , thats all that counts, dont be so sensitive.

  • That is very true. Beureaucratic policies in Italy are just frustrating. I've got a friend who had to wait 4 months just to have his permesso di soggiorno renewed. Now, that's a lot of time.

  • I'm italian and I have to say that I don't really understand if those are considered to be italian's stereotypes or what...the video is funny, I like when he imitates the "italian accent" but all the rest has nothing to do and I don't really understand why he say.

    But the imitation is cool :-DDD

  • I'm Italian and I think this is funny! We are, at least, ironic people. It's much more than that so many countries could say.

  • I've been to italy a few times and sure I get the feeling that there's not a lot of paperwork being done :D

  • He didn't make up tomcat

  • Really funny stuff.

  • I'm italian and it is true!!!

    lol

    thank god I was born in southafrica!!!

    see y'all!

  • i wish the things he said were true: actually in italy you get beaten and arrested by the police if you're caught smoking (marijuana) in public, we don't have any pornstar in parliament (i think he referred to Cicciolina, who was there in the 80's) and the last time i got a gun pointed at my face it wasn't made for "bella figura".

  • i which i could watch this over the internet... I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!

  • Dear Italians/Friends of Italians, Some of the other stuff he says isn't exactly factually spot on either... Perhaps we could give him some comedic license?!

  • I AGREE WITH WILLIAM , why dont we get this on uk tv