I am looking for my birthparents. I was born 12/23/1984 in Rochester, NY at RGH weighing 7lbs. I was given the name Mary Theresa. My birthmother gave me a letter saying I had my maternal grandma's blue eyes (sorry they changed to brown mom), my dad's cleft, and her small ears. My bio parents were 21. My dad was in college. My mom was in college studying special ed. He was Italian and my mom was Irish, German, and French (Americans). She is 5ft 5. He is 5ft 9. She's Catholic. Please contact me!!
I was adopted and I have been looking for a very long time with no luck in finding my biological mother and half sister. My adoptive parents tried very hard to get as much information as they could. It was very little information but because they did this responsible and carrying thing not only for themselves but for me it made me love them and respect them even more. Because of them they made me who I am today, extraordinary when ever I think of them.
Hey. I checked the search angel's but currently, they are only servicing UK, Canada and Guam. I am born & raised in NYC/long Island. My birthday is indeed XMAS day and the name listed on my original birth certificate was "Boland." I hired Omnitrace last January and do hope with all my might that they are sincere. It is hard to know who to trust. I appreciate any wisdom you may lend me from your experience.
@msusiecu I am so happy that people are replying to me. I hired PI to search for my birth parents. I know mom's maiden name or at least the one she put on my BC. Is there anything more that an original BC will reveal than what I already know? (Last name I had when born) I am waiting for NYS to give non-identifying info. Said she was 18 at time of my birth (XMAS day). That's all I know. Can I trust PI's to search? I am concerned PI's are expensive & may not deliver. Any help w/be so appreciated.
@MetaFumu218-- there are times when its just best not to know. I know from experience. I was so eager to know what my birth mom was like after she gave me up (i was 13), and when i found her, it made me SO grateful for the life i have, even though its not that good! if you are REALLY eager, look up your states laws! there are cases when its wonderful and the Bio's really do care!! i wish ya luck!
@SkiealarMae24 I regret that you were disappointed upon discovering a birth parent because I know regardless of who my parents are, there is nothing that will stop the deep and hurtful longing to know who they are other than finding them. I know in my heart that I will never, ever be disappointed and that I will never, ever feel that it would have been better not to know. Never. You are very fortunate that you don't have to long to know as I do because it is a very sad & very lonely to long.
@momof80s-- its not that i was disappointed, i was grateful! because i knew that if i were with my birth mom that i would not have the opportunities i do now. I DID have that long to know... and you are VERY right, it is VERY sad and painful and lonely!!!! I was sad for my mom, sad that she has the life that she has, that she cant get better, that she has lost ALL hope in everything so she intentionally is throwing her life away!! there is a sadness that replaces that longing.... just a new hurt
@SkiealarMae24 Wow. I can empathize w/you although from where I sit, I would rather risk an emotion in trade-off for emotionally longing to know who my birth parents are--Not that I want sadness or some other disappointment, but I want to know so strongly, now more than ever since I am actively searching, I am more anxious than before. I will be empty if I don't find them. Do you have any tips about locating birth parents?
This is deep. This is important to me. I was promised an open adoption especially since I still had my two boys and they lied! They took my girls and sent a nasty note to my son when he was 5. I think all kids have the right to know their siblings and who their families are. So, we have made numerous pages for them to find us.
Many of us in the North American adoption community: mothers who have been separated by adoption from their children and adopted people feel that adoption IS child trafficking, child slavery and is abuse.
I am so happy that finally someone who has influence in the media has made this statement! I have been waiting 20 yrs for this while I have been involved in adoption support, search and reform. I surrendered a child in 1966 "the baby scoop era".
@msusiecu I am an adoptee and I pray my mom and dad feel as you do. I strongly feel that they are both married to other people and that the spouses do not want to think about their relationship that produced me. It is a lonely and hurtful longing to search for them, even before I actively began searching for them, my heart searched.
Hell yes. This need to be more widely distributed. It needs to reach more APs. Open APs. They need to understand that when their achildren want to find their nfamilies, they shouldn't stand in the way. Nobody should stand in the way. No one can ever understand how specific adoptees feel about their situations. No one but those adoptees themselves. So the states need to stop making decisions for people whose whole lives have already been decided for them.
nekidchickens, you are bitter. you are angry and most definitely in denial. Some adoptees stay that way all their lives, some grow into a realization that they want a connection, and not necessarily with birthparents but with their history and heritage, which generally comes through birthfamily, not just a piece of paper saying you are Irish, etc.
I really hope you can heal, but for you to state that birthparents are nothing more than sperm donors and test tubes - well, now you're just shitty.
please don't say that all birthmother's didn't want their baby. if the mother's were teenagers when the baby was born thay had no say their parents would send them off to a unweb hospital and tell all of their friends that they went to see their grandma for it was a big no no to have a baby out of web lock in 1930 ---- 1960's and some time's the state would take the children away from a mother who had lost their husband's in the war or because the father was hurting the children,or mom died
While the promise of reunion can be a strong factor in an adoptee wanting their records it is not the only reason. Adoptees are denied the right to their own identity when they are denied their own records. Who else in this country can say they are not allowed to know who they were born as?
It is discrimination and nothing else. And it is SICK! Adoptee's deserve the same right as anyone else. The right to THEIR OWN IDENTITY!
Your identity is in the presence of your REAL parents. The people who loved and cared for you, not the people who didn't want you (for whatever reason). It is in the love from your caring parents that your identity can be found. How do you find identity in people who don't know you nor have ever had an effect on your life except in their absence??? Look to your family for any confusion in answering the question of who you are.
Obviously you are ignorant about adoption and adoptee issues. Adoption doesn't stop you from being the person you were born to be. Period. End of discussion. Adoption may give a child another family but it will never take away the genetic traits inherited at conception. Sounds like an identity to me. Allowing adoptees access to their OBC allows them the freedom to accept who they are, who they were born to be.
I am more fully aware of adoption and adoption issues than you are most likely.I was adopted, my mother adopted out my sister, and I have adopted a son.Of course everyone should have a full knowledge of medical history,but that has no bearing on who your real parents are.Where are the birth parents in the middle of the night?Changings?Skinned knees?For discipline?To wipe their tears?To comfort their fears?NOT parenting is where they are.Not parenting=not parents.
Who they are born to be is determined by the environment that their family engenders, and the love and encouragement that they recieve not the genetics in their DNA. Where are the birth parents to provide that?Even if they were around,as outsiders to the parenting process, they can't even provide that.FAMILY is who loves you, not who bears you.
Wow, you need to do some homework on the science of genetics. 50 years ago it was a commonly held (mis)conception that DNA and genetics did not play a factor in determining a persons personality. That has been disproven to great degree now. DNA plays a HUGE role in our personality - as much if not MORE SO than environment. And please don't take my word for it - research it with some reliable data. Who we are as children and adults is SO largely determined by our DNA and genetics.
Genetics does not determine personality traits. It plays a role in phycological disorder such as Alcoholism, schizophrenia, etc... (I never denied the connection to medical history). Even the study at Nature Genetics in 1995 stated that although there is a small correlation between DNA and observable personality, there is no provable direct link. No more than looking like your genetic parents is a function of both shared genetics AND shared environment.
If DNA determines their personality then I guess there is no need to teach them morals, values, or right from wrong.Your womb already taught them that. I am well versed in genetics by the way. Your statement was juvenile in its oversimplification at best. I know both my genetic family and obviously my birth family and I will tell you that my real family taught me to be who I am today. Not the sperm or the placenta that birthed me.
Not at all, I was actually apologizing to anyone I offended and it was heartfelt. Sad to see that you don't read it that way. Especially considering the fact that my mother was one of the women forced to give up her child. (now not her child)
She is sad, but is happy in that her decision as to whom to give her to was her final loving choice for her offsprings healthy future.
Unless you were referring to me saying that if personality is completely encoded into DNA then what is the point in empowering them with teachings to be a good person in the parenting process. Of course I was being foolish, as it is a foolish and ill considered position to say that parenting and the environment that parents provide for their children isn't the major factor in who a child will become.
BOTH supply the child with guidelines and determining factors. But you are burying your head in the sand if you continue to believe that DNA doesn't have a STRONG impact on a persons personality. and in denial ...
A study in 2005 stated that there was a possible correlation in male prairie voles. A rodent. THere MAY be similarities in chimps as well but nothing there is nothing that shows this in humans as of yet. Some (few) scientists want to study this further. I used the 1995 study as it was better known. I can go on all day. again, you are oversimplifying things.
Male prairie voles? who's talking rodents here? You accuse me of oversimplifying but you are out & out overlooking research data that strongly shows this correlation. Why? What are you afraid of? Pissing off your adopted parents? And the statement about being ridiculous was in reference to you saying if its all DNA then why bother teaching values, etc. Now, surely you know better. Who is oversimplifying here?
The correlation to behavior is shown only in rodents and some chimps thus far. If you are talking DNA and not merely family history. Those are the studies, so if you are talking about the science then YOU are talking about rodents, or at least you should be. Because that is where the studies lie.
you must be looking into some exceedingly specific studies to only come up with rodents. or else you have a rodent fetish. There have been studies over the last 50 years on this issue. ON HUMANS. Why are you so strongly in denial? What does it benefit you to stay in denial? Adoptees are being discriminated against and you only help the cause with your blind statement positions.
The human studies have been on family history. The only genetic model studies thus far have been on rodents and chimps. The rest have not been DNA studies, merely corollaries drawn from family history and cross referenced with traits. They are even less telling than the ones I spoke of. Why are you so insistent that you as a birth mother are so important to a child that you will never parent? We are not custodians of your children.You will never become their parents, so why argue?
@nekidchickens : you suck. you must be an adoptive parent to have written this. however, if you're one of the millions of idiots out there that are NOT directly affected by adoption, then you need to keep your opinion to yourself because no one (who is directly affected by adoption) wants to hear it. FROM: an a reunited adoptee
@imasmartcookie76 You are a smart cookie. I cannot believe how insensitive some people are to the feelings of others. I have not met the adopted person who is absent that painful longing to know who their birth mom & parents are. It is a void that burns deep within us. Birth mom's & parents are the ultimate in importance to those of us who have been torn from them by adoption.
@nekidchickens : you suck. you must be an adoptive parent to have written this. however, if you're one of the millions of idiots out there that are NOT directly affected by adoption, then you need to keep your opinion to yourself because no one (who is directly affected by adoption) wants to hear it. FROM: a reunited adoptee
You are so stupid! Think about this question if you can: How would you explain a genetic heart problem with no biological family history? Think about that, you idiot, and then tell me that birth MOTHERS and birth FATHERS are nothing more than test tubes and sperm donors!!
Anyone that starts a comment with"you are so stupid"rarely has anything of worth to say.I will address it anyway.Never did I suggest that people shouldn't know their genetic history. So yes I DID think about that.Health issues are easier to head off and deal with if you know the history of it.That has no bearing on who your parents are.Birth parents are sperm donors, and test tubes and it is nice to know the history of those sperm donors and test tubes so you can better care for your own health
I find it funny that you cite my misunderstanding of adoption issues because I break down birth parents to merely sperm donors and test tubes, when you break them down more than I do.YOU break them down to the status of a medical history, merely a piece of paper.Family isn't who bore you, it is who loves and cares for you.The birth parents gave up the right to BE anything more when they gave they children up.They don't parent those children anymore, therefor they are not parents to them.
This reminds me,there was a lady here who asked that I not say that all mothers who adopted out didn't want their children.She is right.I DO apologize for that.My mother was one(however she would agree with me that she is NOT the child's mother now(and obviously it saddens her to know that, but makes her glad that she gave her to a family that would be great parents to her since she wasn't to be allowed)I say again to those who were forced,I am sorry for your sadness and my insensitivity to it.
I would throw this out to all of those mothers who are forced to give up their children. Do not carry your sadness with you in your identity as their mother, circumstance has tragically taken that from you. Take heart that their new family loves them as you would have, and will teach them as hopefully you would have wanted. If you had any choice in the process, then that in itself will have an impact on who they are. Your final parenting choice. peace and love
I'm adopted and im 13 right now, i came to the u.s. at 3 months old from beruit lebanon. I think all adopted kids should have the right to know about thier birth parents instead of wondering all the time. I dont know anything at all, and it kills me. I'm sure its the same for many other adopted kids too. No one wants to wait untill thier 18 to find out about thier past.
Deciding to adopt is not a Joke. Your raising kids and all stages of human development will be guided by you. Children who are adopted are hunger for love. (look into deep in Psychology). When both the adopted child and his adopted parents compensate each other with the love they invest. No other means in this world can break it. Birth parents are still our parents but my Mom told my birth mother in her coffin is "Thank you" for giving life to your child and your child is under my care. It
Birth parents are NOT your parents and what a slap in the face to your REAL parents to say so. Blood does not make a parent. My son is MY child and those who birthed him gave up their rights to him long ago. I am his Dad and he has no other. There is nothing to be gained by knowing people who didn't want to care for you. Love makes a family not biology. Saying that your mother thanks her for allowing her to care for "your" child implies that she is only a babysitter for someone elses child
As an adopted child we have to come in to terms of our past. We need to know where we came from. It is our right.Indeed it will give us a peace of mind and heart to thank our birth parents for what we are now today. For our parents who adopted us dont be scared that if your child is going to meet his/her parents because if you had invested love from the beginning your child will never abandon you. You are still our Mommy and Daddy. Love is important in all relationships.
The people who bore you are not your parents nor are they important for anything other than establishing a medical past. How can they be anything else? Those people are test tubes, sperm donors and nothing more.
I am an adoptee and my Dad is the man who raised me, not the one who didn't. I don't care why he didn't, the fact remains that everything that I am, with the exeption of medical records, is because of him and my mum. Not the pretenders who didn't want that responsibility.
How dare you say such a thing?? Who do you think you are, judging birth mothers like that? I am a birth mother, who gave her child a precious gift .. her life and her parents. I am no more a test tube than you are an adoptee. I WANTED my child, but I didn't want her to grow up without a father in her life. I will ALWAYS be my child's first mother!!!! PERIOD!!!!!
To have a final say in this issue. There is no effect in that union. As an adopted child I met my mom in 99 and only one word I told her. "Thank you for not having me aborted during the time you are confused... thank you for giving me life." I have wonderful parents who adopted me.
For a closure of being adopted. I agree with the video
Its not contact. Its access to the birth certificate that accurately records our birth. Reunion is not part of this what so ever. The states are violating our right to have access to the very document. The states are violating our right to privacy.
I think reunion had not enough to do with this research "answer.". I don't know the researchers...My whole experience with reuniting is and continues to be emotionally disturbing.
If I were addopted, Id better be able to contact my Real parents. I dont care if they wouldnt want to be contacted. They Gave birth, so even past death, the child is still theres. No running possible.
Legally relinquishing a child... the child is not theirs. Running is/was the norm. I was relinquished at birth. Reunited at 18. The reunite process was emotionally disturbing. These researchers must have a lot of fluff stories. I don't have one.
I am looking for my birthparents. I was born 12/23/1984 in Rochester, NY at RGH weighing 7lbs. I was given the name Mary Theresa. My birthmother gave me a letter saying I had my maternal grandma's blue eyes (sorry they changed to brown mom), my dad's cleft, and her small ears. My bio parents were 21. My dad was in college. My mom was in college studying special ed. He was Italian and my mom was Irish, German, and French (Americans). She is 5ft 5. He is 5ft 9. She's Catholic. Please contact me!!
TheTravelfool 9 months ago
I was adopted and I have been looking for a very long time with no luck in finding my biological mother and half sister. My adoptive parents tried very hard to get as much information as they could. It was very little information but because they did this responsible and carrying thing not only for themselves but for me it made me love them and respect them even more. Because of them they made me who I am today, extraordinary when ever I think of them.
betsyakh 1 year ago
Hey. I checked the search angel's but currently, they are only servicing UK, Canada and Guam. I am born & raised in NYC/long Island. My birthday is indeed XMAS day and the name listed on my original birth certificate was "Boland." I hired Omnitrace last January and do hope with all my might that they are sincere. It is hard to know who to trust. I appreciate any wisdom you may lend me from your experience.
momof80s 1 year ago
@ momof80s I just got your reply, I pray u have found some new info by this writing. Let me know what u know, maybe I can give u a few ideas.
msusiecu 1 year ago
@msusiecu I am so happy that people are replying to me. I hired PI to search for my birth parents. I know mom's maiden name or at least the one she put on my BC. Is there anything more that an original BC will reveal than what I already know? (Last name I had when born) I am waiting for NYS to give non-identifying info. Said she was 18 at time of my birth (XMAS day). That's all I know. Can I trust PI's to search? I am concerned PI's are expensive & may not deliver. Any help w/be so appreciated.
momof80s 1 year ago
so if your 12... is it still legal? im dieing to know! no seroulsly... is it?
MetaFumu218 1 year ago
@MetaFumu218-- there are times when its just best not to know. I know from experience. I was so eager to know what my birth mom was like after she gave me up (i was 13), and when i found her, it made me SO grateful for the life i have, even though its not that good! if you are REALLY eager, look up your states laws! there are cases when its wonderful and the Bio's really do care!! i wish ya luck!
SkiealarMae24 1 year ago
@SkiealarMae24 I regret that you were disappointed upon discovering a birth parent because I know regardless of who my parents are, there is nothing that will stop the deep and hurtful longing to know who they are other than finding them. I know in my heart that I will never, ever be disappointed and that I will never, ever feel that it would have been better not to know. Never. You are very fortunate that you don't have to long to know as I do because it is a very sad & very lonely to long.
momof80s 1 year ago
@momof80s-- its not that i was disappointed, i was grateful! because i knew that if i were with my birth mom that i would not have the opportunities i do now. I DID have that long to know... and you are VERY right, it is VERY sad and painful and lonely!!!! I was sad for my mom, sad that she has the life that she has, that she cant get better, that she has lost ALL hope in everything so she intentionally is throwing her life away!! there is a sadness that replaces that longing.... just a new hurt
SkiealarMae24 1 year ago
@SkiealarMae24 Wow. I can empathize w/you although from where I sit, I would rather risk an emotion in trade-off for emotionally longing to know who my birth parents are--Not that I want sadness or some other disappointment, but I want to know so strongly, now more than ever since I am actively searching, I am more anxious than before. I will be empty if I don't find them. Do you have any tips about locating birth parents?
momof80s 1 year ago
This is deep. This is important to me. I was promised an open adoption especially since I still had my two boys and they lied! They took my girls and sent a nasty note to my son when he was 5. I think all kids have the right to know their siblings and who their families are. So, we have made numerous pages for them to find us.
Susana Cloutier
mom to Ashley and Mina
adopted
susanaregan 1 year ago
Thank you for posting this.
Many of us in the North American adoption community: mothers who have been separated by adoption from their children and adopted people feel that adoption IS child trafficking, child slavery and is abuse.
bananabrains1 1 year ago
I am so happy that finally someone who has influence in the media has made this statement! I have been waiting 20 yrs for this while I have been involved in adoption support, search and reform. I surrendered a child in 1966 "the baby scoop era".
msusiecu 1 year ago
@msusiecu I am an adoptee and I pray my mom and dad feel as you do. I strongly feel that they are both married to other people and that the spouses do not want to think about their relationship that produced me. It is a lonely and hurtful longing to search for them, even before I actively began searching for them, my heart searched.
momof80s 1 year ago
this so needs to happen .
anjie702 2 years ago
This definitely needs to happen! I hope to see it go national.
graceoverall 3 years ago
Hell yes. This need to be more widely distributed. It needs to reach more APs. Open APs. They need to understand that when their achildren want to find their nfamilies, they shouldn't stand in the way. Nobody should stand in the way. No one can ever understand how specific adoptees feel about their situations. No one but those adoptees themselves. So the states need to stop making decisions for people whose whole lives have already been decided for them.
--18 y/o ADULT adoptee.
iduntfeelsogood 3 years ago 4
nekidchickens, you are bitter. you are angry and most definitely in denial. Some adoptees stay that way all their lives, some grow into a realization that they want a connection, and not necessarily with birthparents but with their history and heritage, which generally comes through birthfamily, not just a piece of paper saying you are Irish, etc.
I really hope you can heal, but for you to state that birthparents are nothing more than sperm donors and test tubes - well, now you're just shitty.
firedancer9205 3 years ago
It's just 6 states, not 8
firedancer9205 3 years ago
please don't say that all birthmother's didn't want their baby. if the mother's were teenagers when the baby was born thay had no say their parents would send them off to a unweb hospital and tell all of their friends that they went to see their grandma for it was a big no no to have a baby out of web lock in 1930 ---- 1960's and some time's the state would take the children away from a mother who had lost their husband's in the war or because the father was hurting the children,or mom died
geeneyes61 3 years ago
great call katie i love you you are well worth the millions.
zoom1234567 3 years ago
While the promise of reunion can be a strong factor in an adoptee wanting their records it is not the only reason. Adoptees are denied the right to their own identity when they are denied their own records. Who else in this country can say they are not allowed to know who they were born as?
It is discrimination and nothing else. And it is SICK! Adoptee's deserve the same right as anyone else. The right to THEIR OWN IDENTITY!
theantibitch 3 years ago 2
Your identity is in the presence of your REAL parents. The people who loved and cared for you, not the people who didn't want you (for whatever reason). It is in the love from your caring parents that your identity can be found. How do you find identity in people who don't know you nor have ever had an effect on your life except in their absence??? Look to your family for any confusion in answering the question of who you are.
nekidchickens 3 years ago
Obviously you are ignorant about adoption and adoptee issues. Adoption doesn't stop you from being the person you were born to be. Period. End of discussion. Adoption may give a child another family but it will never take away the genetic traits inherited at conception. Sounds like an identity to me. Allowing adoptees access to their OBC allows them the freedom to accept who they are, who they were born to be.
theantibitch 3 years ago
I am more fully aware of adoption and adoption issues than you are most likely.I was adopted, my mother adopted out my sister, and I have adopted a son.Of course everyone should have a full knowledge of medical history,but that has no bearing on who your real parents are.Where are the birth parents in the middle of the night?Changings?Skinned knees?For discipline?To wipe their tears?To comfort their fears?NOT parenting is where they are.Not parenting=not parents.
nekidchickens 3 years ago
Who they are born to be is determined by the environment that their family engenders, and the love and encouragement that they recieve not the genetics in their DNA. Where are the birth parents to provide that?Even if they were around,as outsiders to the parenting process, they can't even provide that.FAMILY is who loves you, not who bears you.
nekidchickens 3 years ago
Wow, you need to do some homework on the science of genetics. 50 years ago it was a commonly held (mis)conception that DNA and genetics did not play a factor in determining a persons personality. That has been disproven to great degree now. DNA plays a HUGE role in our personality - as much if not MORE SO than environment. And please don't take my word for it - research it with some reliable data. Who we are as children and adults is SO largely determined by our DNA and genetics.
firedancer9205 3 years ago
Genetics does not determine personality traits. It plays a role in phycological disorder such as Alcoholism, schizophrenia, etc... (I never denied the connection to medical history). Even the study at Nature Genetics in 1995 stated that although there is a small correlation between DNA and observable personality, there is no provable direct link. No more than looking like your genetic parents is a function of both shared genetics AND shared environment.
nekidchickens 3 years ago
If DNA determines their personality then I guess there is no need to teach them morals, values, or right from wrong.Your womb already taught them that. I am well versed in genetics by the way. Your statement was juvenile in its oversimplification at best. I know both my genetic family and obviously my birth family and I will tell you that my real family taught me to be who I am today. Not the sperm or the placenta that birthed me.
nekidchickens 3 years ago
now you're just being ridiculous and you know it.
firedancer9205 3 years ago
Not at all, I was actually apologizing to anyone I offended and it was heartfelt. Sad to see that you don't read it that way. Especially considering the fact that my mother was one of the women forced to give up her child. (now not her child)
She is sad, but is happy in that her decision as to whom to give her to was her final loving choice for her offsprings healthy future.
So no, I don't know that I was being ridiculous.
J
peace and love
nekidchickens 3 years ago
Unless you were referring to me saying that if personality is completely encoded into DNA then what is the point in empowering them with teachings to be a good person in the parenting process. Of course I was being foolish, as it is a foolish and ill considered position to say that parenting and the environment that parents provide for their children isn't the major factor in who a child will become.
Peace
nekidchickens 3 years ago
BOTH supply the child with guidelines and determining factors. But you are burying your head in the sand if you continue to believe that DNA doesn't have a STRONG impact on a persons personality. and in denial ...
firedancer9205 3 years ago
1995? Check out some RECENT data. you're DEAD WRONG on this one, nekidchic
firedancer9205 3 years ago 2
A study in 2005 stated that there was a possible correlation in male prairie voles. A rodent. THere MAY be similarities in chimps as well but nothing there is nothing that shows this in humans as of yet. Some (few) scientists want to study this further. I used the 1995 study as it was better known. I can go on all day. again, you are oversimplifying things.
nekidchickens 3 years ago
Male prairie voles? who's talking rodents here? You accuse me of oversimplifying but you are out & out overlooking research data that strongly shows this correlation. Why? What are you afraid of? Pissing off your adopted parents? And the statement about being ridiculous was in reference to you saying if its all DNA then why bother teaching values, etc. Now, surely you know better. Who is oversimplifying here?
firedancer9205 3 years ago 2
The correlation to behavior is shown only in rodents and some chimps thus far. If you are talking DNA and not merely family history. Those are the studies, so if you are talking about the science then YOU are talking about rodents, or at least you should be. Because that is where the studies lie.
nekidchickens 3 years ago
you must be looking into some exceedingly specific studies to only come up with rodents. or else you have a rodent fetish. There have been studies over the last 50 years on this issue. ON HUMANS. Why are you so strongly in denial? What does it benefit you to stay in denial? Adoptees are being discriminated against and you only help the cause with your blind statement positions.
firedancer9205 3 years ago 4
The human studies have been on family history. The only genetic model studies thus far have been on rodents and chimps. The rest have not been DNA studies, merely corollaries drawn from family history and cross referenced with traits. They are even less telling than the ones I spoke of. Why are you so insistent that you as a birth mother are so important to a child that you will never parent? We are not custodians of your children.You will never become their parents, so why argue?
nekidchickens 3 years ago
@nekidchickens : you suck. you must be an adoptive parent to have written this. however, if you're one of the millions of idiots out there that are NOT directly affected by adoption, then you need to keep your opinion to yourself because no one (who is directly affected by adoption) wants to hear it. FROM: an a reunited adoptee
imasmartcookie76 1 year ago
@imasmartcookie76 You are a smart cookie. I cannot believe how insensitive some people are to the feelings of others. I have not met the adopted person who is absent that painful longing to know who their birth mom & parents are. It is a void that burns deep within us. Birth mom's & parents are the ultimate in importance to those of us who have been torn from them by adoption.
momof80s 1 year ago
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@nekidchickens : you suck. you must be an adoptive parent to have written this. however, if you're one of the millions of idiots out there that are NOT directly affected by adoption, then you need to keep your opinion to yourself because no one (who is directly affected by adoption) wants to hear it. FROM: a reunited adoptee
imasmartcookie76 1 year ago
You are so stupid! Think about this question if you can: How would you explain a genetic heart problem with no biological family history? Think about that, you idiot, and then tell me that birth MOTHERS and birth FATHERS are nothing more than test tubes and sperm donors!!
bunnyluv41 3 years ago
Anyone that starts a comment with"you are so stupid"rarely has anything of worth to say.I will address it anyway.Never did I suggest that people shouldn't know their genetic history. So yes I DID think about that.Health issues are easier to head off and deal with if you know the history of it.That has no bearing on who your parents are.Birth parents are sperm donors, and test tubes and it is nice to know the history of those sperm donors and test tubes so you can better care for your own health
nekidchickens 3 years ago
I find it funny that you cite my misunderstanding of adoption issues because I break down birth parents to merely sperm donors and test tubes, when you break them down more than I do.YOU break them down to the status of a medical history, merely a piece of paper.Family isn't who bore you, it is who loves and cares for you.The birth parents gave up the right to BE anything more when they gave they children up.They don't parent those children anymore, therefor they are not parents to them.
nekidchickens 3 years ago
test tubes have no emotions. Birth mothers who did not want to give up their children but were forced to (look up Baby Scoop Era) have broken hearts.
firedancer9205 3 years ago
This reminds me,there was a lady here who asked that I not say that all mothers who adopted out didn't want their children.She is right.I DO apologize for that.My mother was one(however she would agree with me that she is NOT the child's mother now(and obviously it saddens her to know that, but makes her glad that she gave her to a family that would be great parents to her since she wasn't to be allowed)I say again to those who were forced,I am sorry for your sadness and my insensitivity to it.
nekidchickens 3 years ago
I would throw this out to all of those mothers who are forced to give up their children. Do not carry your sadness with you in your identity as their mother, circumstance has tragically taken that from you. Take heart that their new family loves them as you would have, and will teach them as hopefully you would have wanted. If you had any choice in the process, then that in itself will have an impact on who they are. Your final parenting choice. peace and love
nekidchickens 3 years ago
I'm adopted and im 13 right now, i came to the u.s. at 3 months old from beruit lebanon. I think all adopted kids should have the right to know about thier birth parents instead of wondering all the time. I dont know anything at all, and it kills me. I'm sure its the same for many other adopted kids too. No one wants to wait untill thier 18 to find out about thier past.
skyhawkslax 4 years ago
I am a reunited adoptee. Don't rush. Don't rush ...don't rush....
mariarippy 3 years ago
A recent study says there are no negative effects from adopted children seeking out their birth parents...,
HUH? Which Institute?
Do more research!
mariarippy 4 years ago
to all adopted children out there we can share ideas, problems, support, experiences. Feel free to message me.
rangirl 4 years ago
Deciding to adopt is not a Joke. Your raising kids and all stages of human development will be guided by you. Children who are adopted are hunger for love. (look into deep in Psychology). When both the adopted child and his adopted parents compensate each other with the love they invest. No other means in this world can break it. Birth parents are still our parents but my Mom told my birth mother in her coffin is "Thank you" for giving life to your child and your child is under my care. It
rangirl 4 years ago
Birth parents are NOT your parents and what a slap in the face to your REAL parents to say so. Blood does not make a parent. My son is MY child and those who birthed him gave up their rights to him long ago. I am his Dad and he has no other. There is nothing to be gained by knowing people who didn't want to care for you. Love makes a family not biology. Saying that your mother thanks her for allowing her to care for "your" child implies that she is only a babysitter for someone elses child
nekidchickens 3 years ago
As an adopted child we have to come in to terms of our past. We need to know where we came from. It is our right.Indeed it will give us a peace of mind and heart to thank our birth parents for what we are now today. For our parents who adopted us dont be scared that if your child is going to meet his/her parents because if you had invested love from the beginning your child will never abandon you. You are still our Mommy and Daddy. Love is important in all relationships.
rangirl 4 years ago
The people who bore you are not your parents nor are they important for anything other than establishing a medical past. How can they be anything else? Those people are test tubes, sperm donors and nothing more.
I am an adoptee and my Dad is the man who raised me, not the one who didn't. I don't care why he didn't, the fact remains that everything that I am, with the exeption of medical records, is because of him and my mum. Not the pretenders who didn't want that responsibility.
nekidchickens 3 years ago
How dare you say such a thing?? Who do you think you are, judging birth mothers like that? I am a birth mother, who gave her child a precious gift .. her life and her parents. I am no more a test tube than you are an adoptee. I WANTED my child, but I didn't want her to grow up without a father in her life. I will ALWAYS be my child's first mother!!!! PERIOD!!!!!
bunnyluv41 3 years ago
To have a final say in this issue. There is no effect in that union. As an adopted child I met my mom in 99 and only one word I told her. "Thank you for not having me aborted during the time you are confused... thank you for giving me life." I have wonderful parents who adopted me.
For a closure of being adopted. I agree with the video
rangirl 4 years ago
Its not contact. Its access to the birth certificate that accurately records our birth. Reunion is not part of this what so ever. The states are violating our right to have access to the very document. The states are violating our right to privacy.
Amyadoptee 4 years ago
I think reunion had not enough to do with this research "answer.". I don't know the researchers...My whole experience with reuniting is and continues to be emotionally disturbing.
mariarippy 3 years ago
Also reported in the study: "Prohibiting adopted people from getting their personal information raises significant civil rights concerns"
Adoptees are the only Americans who are denied a basic government record about their identity. This is very wrong.
TheresaTheUngrateful 4 years ago
If I were addopted, Id better be able to contact my Real parents. I dont care if they wouldnt want to be contacted. They Gave birth, so even past death, the child is still theres. No running possible.
shoty160 4 years ago
Legally relinquishing a child... the child is not theirs. Running is/was the norm. I was relinquished at birth. Reunited at 18. The reunite process was emotionally disturbing. These researchers must have a lot of fluff stories. I don't have one.
mariarippy 3 years ago
intresting indeed
mercenarybdu 4 years ago
Any links to that study? I'd like to show it some people here in Finland.
Sikapossu75 4 years ago 2
Sikapossu75:
I hope you'll get an answer to your question.
If not, try to reach a research librarian at the Library of Congress, or call CBS & address your question to Curic directly.
Best luck!
barb99999 4 years ago 2
cool
mrtvman 4 years ago