Windows 386 Promo Video (last half)

[amcool007]

this is what happens when white people try to rap

[Bronek80]

pokerface :|

[beer94]

now i'm hearing mission impossible

[beer94]

whats up w/ the military music?

[hazelflame]

PRINTING!!!



[wildf1re]

So this is where Nicky Minaj got her rap style from!

[q8bug]

looks like 80's porn



[batmanofzurenarh]

F***king GAAYYYY

[WTFiretruck1]

Comex be trollin

[dtrano]

lag....lag......laaaaag

[Chickenpatty878]

This was the strangest porno I've ever watched

[0xabad1dea]

Whoops, I accidentally a retweet cascade.

[msc0ttj]

windows is just as retarded now sadly...

[duranriccio]

comex ;)

[endsgamer]

FOUR WHOLE WINDOWS!

[Techman1997Cool]

Today's ads should be like this. Not just two hands usang an iPhone :D

[brendandaniel]

What the fuck is going on?

[ShawGaming]

comex

[fbiryujin]

Anyone else notice the music in the background is the same from the first mission in Mission Impossible for N64?

[hussanprince]

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[boilerup92]

WOA!!!!!!!! 4 APPLICATIONS AT ONCE!!!!

[lexdimond1]

Still better than Fergie

[QueenDemonDoll]

I was waiting for her to get zapped into the grid.:(

Flynn's wife, much? :P

[andikatjacobdennis]

is this lady gaga or her mother maybe

[andikatjacobdennis]

is this lady gaga

[Watcher3223]

And Steve Jobs once said Microsoft has no taste.

Maybe he was on to something here.

[gabilou1001]

Jesus Fuckin' Christ. About 20 years ago I survived a major car crash. I spent 3 weeks in the hospital and it hurt like hell for 4 months. I would go through all that again before watching this video for a second time. And what's with that song? God is unfair. Auuughhh!!!

[reel1840]

a little turn over

[dellekaj]

Waow... o.O

[NameIsAce]

You know what's funny? Windows still runs as slow as in the video.

[Vids42]

The girl dances like an old grandma, wtf.

[robcypher]

Wow, did Bill Gates direct this video? wtf was he smoking back then?

[Llamarama100]

Never seen anyone get aroused by spreadsheets, until now...

[johnnyk1080]

They stopped letting Bill Gates do his own marketing after this.

[TheDavidhay]

"OK T-Bone time for some serious crunching"

[FiveUnicorns]

What the fuckk is going on? this is fuckking wierd

[eblj]

"That's very good Linda. That Very good.

[jrotondi3]

i have no words

[Shicky256]

[Insert Justin Bieber joke here]

[AndrewBell]

what the fuck are my eyes seeing right now

[tadeusz7925]

a clock on the 'desktop' that's so cool :D

[WSCru]

In the beggining i was sure that will be porno movie..

[awfulguitarplucker]

"okay T-bone,time fro som serious crunching" this is the only really valuable (and rather cool) quote of the entire dump!

[linkman789]

what just happened...

[mattwzito]

MOM?!?!?!?!?

[SouthwesternEagle]

That last page of the document (the one they showed printing) looks absolutely awful. The pie chart isn't supposed to be OVER the text!

Still a lot more than I could do with my Windows 386.

[SergeantSloth]

printing!

PRINTING!!!

[SergeantSloth]

DAMN! you see how fast google maps loaded at 1:36????

[SouthwesternEagle]

@SergeantSloth There was no Google or Google Maps in 1987.

[SergeantSloth]

@SouthwesternEagle Please tell me you are being as sarcastic as I was being.

[SouthwesternEagle]

@SergeantSloth How's a person supposed to know when someone is being sarcastic on the internet?

[SergeantSloth]

@SouthwesternEagle Fair enough about it being the internet... but I said google maps loads fast in a video from 1987. Just seemed pretty obvious. lol. But the internets does have that whole no emotion issue. so fair enough.

[Cowclops]

I own/still use the phone you see at 2:45. Its some old panasonic two line phone.

[potato4945]

OH SHIT I CAN DO THAT TOO!!!!!except easier of course...

[Detomidine]

Those glasses were ugly then and they are ugly now.

[CZroe]

OK, if OS/2 wasn't checked out yet, how was Windows 386? Yes, I know that Windows kinda ran on top of DOS back then like some fancy application, but applications needed to get approved for the same reasons.

[OKieMusician]

Torture at it's finest.

[windowspiratato]

MY GOD! IT HURTS!

[honorabili]

I love how the guy at the end that just sold her Windows 386 is going to go sleep with her. Microsoft wins yet again...

[Madhofd]

is it just me..? i cant hear anything!

[MisterSynyster]

if i walk in and my boss not only seems to be using non-company software, but has also gone insane, wearing the worst of 80s wear and spitting bad rhymes at a rate of knots, thats when i call her supervisor. or the police.

[webmasale]

1:44 porn scene(almost)

[3ohfive]

i thought this was supposed to be porn...

[WindowsGeek12]

Yum T-BONE stake

[4MalletPrincess]

WHHHAAAATTT?? It doesn't print in color? I'm so disappointed.

[TheVascer]

1:40 "There is 592Kb of RAM available out of swap."

Haha :D

[schladog49]

wtf?

[icarus313]

4:21-4:22

lol

1 second just begging to become an animated gif

[teekay987]

hahah

[helaribuska]

Online marriage service from Asia  lushfmlk.info

[00110101guy]

Wait, what was that word you said? The third one...

[ChandlerChappasW]

This just made me cry. I can't unwatch that.

[Cinimod105]

Was THAT the best commercially available OS at that time?

[2Wolves1Core]

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!! THAT IS BRILLIANTTT!!!!

[softwareScout]

hahaha  I love the military-type music in the background. This is SOOOOO incredibly cheezy. Who in the hell wrote this?

[softwareScout]

hahaha I love the military-type music in the background.

[1CarlyD]

YES I'm the 386th like on this video :O!

[darkslateblue]

clearly windows 386 is the pinnacle of computing technology. we will never get further, there are no more innovations to be made

[exitness]

Did anyone notice how the main bitch (rap-unmanly) shook hands with men and ignored the women yet denied a man's advances? Is it proof only lesbian men use Windows? Amen...

[FknRAIDEN]

what the fuck did i just watch?

[tfpmacheath]

This video is actually a documentary about a woman named Linda going through the hypomanic phase of her rapid cycling bipolar disorder. William could totally get some easy action...but would it be worth it?

[ChertotheZ]

@tfpmacheath . Brilliant!

[yorktownhorn]

WTF



[Stoyon]

Mister Pain demands that to rap the report up!

[WillsVargas89]

what the fuck did i just watch?

[sk8terchk4life]

What in the fuck.........

[drakeishfyre]

Epic mission impossible 80s rap remix ftw

[leosagat]

WTF??!!

[dcpyro]

Sarah Connor must DIE!

[ArandurKing909]

I want to die now..

[Aliuar]

awesome

[ingenious138]

This thing is like a tranwreck...it's completely awful, but you just can't look away...

[Fuzzy192006]

I hope you all rot in hell !!!

[TheChloerzzz]

omfg idk what to say...

[DorianArcher]

You know, I've been using Windows 2.0 for a class, and 386 actually looks pretty cool.

[anonUK]

@aviotuber:

Not much chance of that- her breeding days will be over by now.

[CozmoQ]

Who here thought she looked way hotter before she changed clothes?

[MalexVideos]

Beggining Of The Technology Revolution

[geekforlifevandc]

i got other plans... i hope

and i thought :old dude got rejected

[disamjisa]

Wtf, she starts singing this demonic, trance-like jingle and stripping off her clothes.. she needs to lay off the crack

[traceyrmj2]

I use Linux, but I have Win3.1 (better than this shambles) running under FreeDOS in a Virtual Machine

[popstardj2]

dis is FREAKIG@@

[chucknorris687]

If any one of those apps crash she is so f'ed in the a. This is in part due to the fact that this version window's uses what is know as "cooperative multitasking." In a cooperative multitasking environment the rule was "if one app dies reboot the machine." This was because OS's hadn't progressed far enough to truly allow more than on app to run at a time but cpu's like the 286 were still designed for multitasking.... So yea this is what they came up with. :3

[Aviotuber]

This may sound wrong but I genuinely want to get her pregnant.

[Yasha920]

@Aviotuber You get seriously weird urges from watching bad promos

[nickleus1977]

hilarious =)

[siechtum]

My head just exploded..

[aapplleezz123]

Thats just horrible :(

[harleykman]

Windows386 == Windows 2 right?

My workplace just gave me a free 386 laptop with Windows 3 installed. It's a very capable machine, even at a slow 12 megahertz, but without the internet it's rather boring to use.

This video was clearly aimed at the geeks of the 80s. The Mission Impossible theme and sexy girl-geek probably made them drool with anticipation to get their hands on this product.

[harleykman]

I just noticed the last page is messed up at 5:36 because the graph sits over top of the text. Ooops!

[jason24568]

@harleykman If you feel boring to old stuff, buy some games that compatible for Windows 3.1

[disamjisa]

@harleykman Your employer just gave you a 386? Are you an antique dealer or something?

[ExT1NcT]

@harleykman Wasn't mission impossible made way after this video? ;o How do these guys end up using it? When was the original tune created?

[lemonrind]

@ExT1NcT Mission: Impossible was a TV show that first aired in 1966,

[gyrogeerloose]

Make it stop make it stop make it stop!

[cyborgtroy]

lol it takes forever to redraw the screen.

[Punax]

4:22 William comes in his pants

[stonecrestmovies]

This is where Lady Gaga got her inspiration.

[stonecrestmovies]

the audio is out of sync

[rbanzai]

W-w-w-windows! My god this is still horrible even after having seen it so long ago. It somehow continues to stay awful no matter how many times I see it.

[JDStevens92]

My brain is full of fuck

[TheArabDude]

HAW MAI GAWD MULTITASKING

[megapheeshmusic]

holy shit wtf is this crazy shit im trippin out vid is half way through.. sensory overload

[4Clubs]

For Nerds, By Nerds.

[SentimenSentimen]

omg looks total awesome thats so 2010 id like that 386 on my laptop

someone ogt a dvd rip ... wait a floppy rip of that?

[JustToFallAsleep]

@SentimenSentimen

I have 386 still in the unopened box. Just found it in the basement while going through some old computer stuff. Afraid to open the box. A Mission Impossible guy might just pop out of the box. LOL

[jcarreiro]

"This program is checking the memory."

Awesome. Just ... awesome.

[hendem999]

I am speechless.

[WolfCoder]

I think this lady really scares me. I get excited over Operating Systems myself but wow...

[xAmRDeUcEx]

WTF O_O

[thebudman420]

My brain just fucking exploded.

[aaroninclub]

they act all WOW as if microsoft invented it.. THATS A LIE

[napalm5]

I'm using wer-wer windows 386 so all my applications are crashing at once

[goqwertygo]

lol WOW!!

you could easily cut and re edit this and make a porno:) kinda like the office space thriller movie remake

[88atrain]

ahahah the part where it's like PRINTING... shouldn't an unknown device detected thing pop up. then a driver could not be installed afterwards. bitch made it look so easy. that shit would've of never printed. in windows xp and so forth anyways. maybe windows 386 was so epic it just worked. maybe I should downgrade.

[timc7777777]

or the drivers were already installed beforehand

[TruthFister8600]

hahahahahahahahaha, holy shit

[harleykman]

Windows 2

Now we're on 7, and it's not really any better. (ducks spitball)

[aaroninclub]

yep... windows 7.0

[MarchoftheMuffins]

Eve White/eVe bLACK

[Havayosunu]

wo-wo-wo-windows!

[aaroninclub]

wo-wo-wo LOOKS LIKE THE MAC OS

[Havayosunu]

@aaroninclub haha good one

[aaroninclub]

thanx

[Yerffej07]

...please, help me to unwatch what I just saw...

[romlebear]

I think i saw that chick in a porn once back in the 80's!

[ybunnygurl]

She looks like she belongs on American Air lines has a flight attendant, up until a few years ago.

And I was still waiting to hear don't copy that floppy some were.

[johnlikestokill123]

Is this OS2? Oh god no! Here, let me demonstrate why, with a little help from rap music and a psychotic break.

[Cross8ow]

"facepalm"

[Dani82HBK]

sad commercial

[TheSushiPizza]

I'm in accounting, nothing ever looks hot!

[ckannan90]

good god is this a real promo? was this effective marketing at any point of time?

[Yankeeboy254]

...

Microsoft absolutely SUCKS at marketing...

I facepalmed IRL...

[gronki1]

Their more recent commercials are good, such as "your potential our passion" series..

[distantsalem]

Awful... just... disturbingly awful.

[GP1138]

This is the worst "rapping" I've ever heard. Even stuff like "Don't Copy That Floppy" and "Zip Zap Rap" sound competent compared to this lady.

Good God.

[Occono]

And what was "123"?

[EmmanuelEMorales]

Lotus 1-2-3, popular spreadsheet software at the time. The excel of the 80s.

[Occono]

Thanks!

[lamarozzo]

Probably Lotus 123, the leading spreadsheet at the time

[Occono]

The guy has no glasses on in the first shot he appears in.

[odiousone]

Holy shit

[mijo67]

Awful; truely aweful. Yet I can't stop watching it! Arrrgh!

[Ishpeck]

She's like 4 feet tall!

[harleykman]

This is why I bought a Commodore Amiga instead.

It was cool, not dorky like Mickeysoft.

[amash76]

holy shit! it just keeps going and going...

reminds me of run dmc

[harleykman]

The final document is HORRIBLE. The pictures are misaligned, the text runs against the charts (no border space), and the paragraphs don't have full justification.

This is why Macs dominated the desktop publishing industry in the 80s and 90s.

[Nigralurker]

What rock did you just crawl under from? Of course this promo is awful. MS has always made horrible promos and commercials.

But saying Apple's Macs were in the lead during the 80's and 90's? You were either too young to remember, or your ego has caused time to be shifted to your opinion.

MS has always been in the lead taking in roughly 85% to 98% of market shares since it rose to power.

[jci10]

@harleykman While Commodore Amiga users were laughing at Mac users speening a small fortune on a painfully slow, colorless, expensive monotasking sloth machine.

[jellygraph]

that was awful and soooo 80's

[mstcrow5429]

What's the Mission Impossible tie-in?

[ethicsg]

They're the same ones from the GTA IV intro, where the whore is bending down to look into the car.

[roxcyn]

That was very stupid promotion! :(

[Zoomer30]

All the stuff a Porno has without the sex (horrid scrpit, painful soundtrack, almost embarressed acting)

They also don't mention the fact that 386 crashed about every 30 secs or so (save early and often)

[LelouchLamperouge019]

Okay, Tbone.

Time to do Some SERIOUS Crunching.

[CrazySean]

"Koko! Koko! Koko! Koko!"

"No Koko, T-BONE!"

[AutomaticButt]

What a great OS! You can even have... a CLOCK! Print documents in glorious... BLACK AND WHITE! Like Windows 2.0 except you can do _____ with it!! Plus genius 80s nerd rap!

This is a joke. Sad thing is, I'd probably use only half the features.

[jiben94]

uhhhh.....