Twilight: enough is enough.

[elgostine]

i read the series, my sis who was about 22 at the time, go fig suggested it.

maybe im not that good at spotting bad writing, pr maybe im just someone who is good at rationalizing, but either way... i have to say i didnt hate it..

what drew me in was merely the vampires skills im a sucker for superpowers.

[elgostine]

"just read bram stoker"

not even... read terry pratchett, youll get great vampires and laugh your head off at the same time

[foolycoolytheband]

i agree 100%. its funny to because my english teacher was a fan of the series and she went nuts when she read one of my short stories for her class and she thought it was amazing, she was trying to get me to publish it for afew months, dispite the fact that it was a fan fiction for an anime i wrote when i was a freshmen in high school and as many of my friends have said it sucked. i really hope that there arnt anymore teachers coming in to schools who think that twilight is a good book series.

[cherrybyusma810]

The Twilight Saga Movie is greatest movie ever ! I have seen this movie the first time at twilight-now , com

[DragonXL47]

Speaking of good vampire novels, I just recently finished reading a swedish novel called "Let the right one in." It's so dark and gritty and the romance between a human boy and a vampire girl is so ingeniously told. After reading the 400 something page book, I find out there's a film. Simply saying....IT....SHITS......ON.­...TWILIGHT. but anyway, i agree with you completely and if you haven't heard of the book i just acknowledged, check it out everyone.

[MrEnrique223]

I read the twilight series and im a guy.. I gave it about a 4 out of 11. (Stephen Kings Dark Tower Series being an 11 and the Eragon series being an 8). It was poorly structured and WAY to direct, there was no sublty. Bella, Edward, and jacob were all stupid in thier own way. Bella was an idiot and was reckless with her own mortality. Edward was a melodramic gloom with low self-esteem. And Jacob (worst of all) was a whiny-ass. I wouldn't have read them if i had known :'(

[insano41]

Oh, by the way, did you actually get any threats or hate mail from this video? I'm curious...

[insano41]

I have never read this garbage, but from what I have heard and seen in the commercials form the movie, this is just a fucking chick's wet dreams published in book form. She should have her hands set on fire!!!

Also, WHAT THE FUCK!? BETTER THAN PRINCESS BRIDE!? INCONCEIVABLE!!!

[wilfredthebold]

"Badly written fanfiction?" Like regular fanfiction or bad (even) for fanfiction?

I know this is light commentary, but I can stand Robert Pattinson's brooding brow/mandible combo staring back at me from the shelves. It's trivial. It's ephemeral. It's just part of the garlic cycle (it was buffy at the previous peak).

The dangerous, hateful stuff is the Christian apocalyptic fiction (Left Behind), targeting adults and children. Mormon vampires can wait.

[Mephistophilus]

I prefer vampires like Nosferatu watch?v=1djGyCj1vCk, Near Dark watch?v=zk_ZfUI4oPg, 30 days of night , Underworld. Those are vampires. Funny you bring up Dracula, Vlad the Impaler the original.

Interview with A vampire? Anne's Rice? All of her men are women and all of her women....would you really want to "tap" them?;o) It's twilight but better? Did you read the Witching? "out his sex, roughly, slapping it as if to test its hardness"...Cinemax? I'm out.

[WorBlux]

Amen!

[RevelationCore]

can i suggest something for you look at? :O

let the right one in

not many have heard of this one,its called Perfect Creature,i orignally wanted to see that cuz its a steampunk film,but just happened to have vampires,the movie was badass :O

i'm excited for daybreakers

[WolfgangNightshadow]

Five stars for you, no stars for twilight...

[dannypantsgm]

Thank you! LOL your wife chiming in there was great!

The writing is terrible.

[RichardRoy2]

Just shows how much out of the loop I am. I think I've only heard a cursory mension of it at some time. I'm sorry to say, I'm not interested in your estimate of what is shit that I'm not going to watch it just to get more insight into your psychy. I prefer to listen to you for that. LOL "She can open him up; she can change him". Sounds like most alchoholic relationships doesn't it? Is she a codependant?

[RYAN11719]

Twilight is very lame. True Blood on HBO is awesome. If you haven't seen it I suggest you give it a look.

[JRMK969]

i couldnt agree with u more dude. bram stokers dracula awesome. vampire d very awesome.

im sure 95% of the fans of twilight are just stupid 16 old girls that know absolutley nothing about vampire mythology. all they know is that they like fake ass modern day vampire crap and shows like the o.c. or one tree hill hahaha. roll them up into one and u get twilight....

[xxArcticWolf13Xx]

T_T I hate how everyone love the vampires and the only time a werewolf can get any kinda good attention is if there by a vampire T_T....just saying great video by the way.

[PsychoGemini]

Thank you! I had to deal with this Twilight garbage firsthand too back when I worked at Barnes & Noble in Edgewater and it pissed me the hell off. I took one look at a paragraph in a book and wondered how the fuck Meyer even passed high school English. Fuck this Twilight bullshit and read/watch Let the Right One In instead people! That's GREAT vampire/horror fiction.

[WraitheDarkbane]

YESSSS!! Twighlight sucks! Vampires are evil predators. Oh, swordsage, a great vampire movie, if you have never seen it is "The Shadow of the Vampire" that's a real vampire. Particularly if you pay attention to Dracula, he's scary not sexy. Everyone that has been around him in the book is afraid of him and, I hate that in the movie they make Mina fall in love with Dracula. In the book she hates him more than any other character.

[OkamiNinja7]

I can't believe you made this video, you're now a really awesome guy, hope my generation can learn from your vids.

[JerichoWonders]

Come on! Interview with the Vampire's a great book! It's about a vampire who tries to hold onto his humanity for as long as he can. I know she's got a lotta sad Vamps but she's writing from a humans point of view. Being a vampire is some lonely shit! Living forever and never getting to know anyone because they might expose you or because they're just going to DIE! ^_^ Love me some rice!

[NichtDieseTone]

Aaaw... Cheer up sage! I'm still out there! Wait, I don't live in america...

Oh nvmn, you country is screwed.

[coverbydesign]

i watched the movie with my gf and my head hurt after the first 3 mins.

[quicktripgas]

LMFAO!! you did better than me. Couldn't make it pass the opening scene.

[MrAcenan]

i trayd to watch Twilight..... but 5 min in i turnd around and whent to the toilet becuse i needed some paper for mye bleeding eyes.....

[sammieluvsdoomy]

I've not read any of the Twilight series, when I saw how they were mass marketing to the public, I figured it had to be crap. The only credit I can attribute to it, is that it did get a lot of people who ordinarily didn't read, to pick up a book.

I have to admit I've enjoyed Ann Rice's vamp series, although I didn't think Interview was one of the best of it, and I have also enjoyed Charlaine Harris' series as well. I'll have to check out those you suggested =)

[sammieluvsdoomy]

I am like 4 minutes in and loving this. =)

[DonQuixotedeKaw]

Thank you!

[fckuvrymch]

consumerism is killing the planet(us).

[fckuvrymch]

i came here for the way, brother.

wtf.

hehehehehe

nah i understand.

i do i just did a rant about the news.

[fckuvrymch]

right on.

[fckuvrymch]

hehehehehe

[abaddon5]

Sorry, but Frankenstein was a FAR better story than Dracula. Dracula was about a guy who sucks blood. Frankenstein was about a guy who creates life, man misunderstands it, and kills it.

[hgryphon]

Twilight gives me high hopes for my own writing...

[crazycolerogers]

you should put up some more martial arts vids. i miss those.

[Swordsage]

I got one in the works... :)

[andrewmanford]

are you a sweet lovin' human or a horrible hatin' native to the world we call google maps?

[Endakol]

Love this video, you are the man!

[bloodyrediron]

Twilight and all it's ancilliaries needs to be burnt and it's remains burried for the good of all mankind.

[verodefacto]

welcome back sage!!!!!!didn't see you for a bit...i was starting to worry!

and hahahahahaha just for immagining your face when you have to look for the twilight books for clients!lol

[Rahab111222]

The real story of Vlad Dracul is better than any other vampire fiction out there.

[amanhart]

We need more fan fiction and the merchandise it spawns to keep the economy going. Who cares if it is good work? Vampires of every vein are needed if suckers will buy it. Close your eyes, grind your bicuspids, and write better fiction than Twilight to make yourself rich. Feast on: Christopher Frayling's: Vampyres: Lord Byron to Count Dracula.

[Akiraness]

Amen! This is an almost *perfect* description of this insipid, ridiculous bullshit.

[chokedattheworld]

I must be out of the loop. Don't even know wtf twilight is. LOL. Lucky me I guess!

[lukasthelin]

Just watched "Deadgirl". Zombielovin' is already here. God f*ing save us..

[alyin363]

woodyrimshot here: I agree absolutely Swordsage. I'm reading a book called "Man's Unconquerable mind". Thorough rant man! 5* from me definately!

[thebeartaxes]

lol your wife pointed out sex to you.

[XChillX42]

Fuck romance... Fuck teeth ripping abortions... SPARKLING VAMPIRES... WHAT THE FUCK?

[NubianTribesman]

I totally agree with you. People these days dont realize that vampires are like zombies. They are making them demigod like rather than demonic. Fuck these BS vampire stories.

[theqmogvlogs]

I think with the way twilight has become some might argue you are discussing religion.

[selenite1]

*snicker* Twilight doesn't even have the consideration to hilariously bad like Flowers in the Attic.

[SCARREDMIND]

the hellsing manga is pretty good imo.

[mouseinthahouse]

You are awesome.. Wow.

And I completely agree with you, Twilight is, I just don't have words for it. It's SO bad

[artemisfair]

I agree. Twilight is terrible.

[riosdante]

I have to say that the word "Grimace" is the most over fucking used word in the series. I'm sure it said more then "vampire" and "werewolf" combined.

[BigN33dle]

I haven't seen the movie and only heard about the book. Even though I find this video highly hilarious, I think you just gave a reason to save a dollars and brain-cells by not seeing or reading Twilight.

[AndrewTheEternal]

On the sexual undertones of vampires: re-read the scene in Dracula were they stake Dracula's first victim(Lucy?). It is pretty obviously a rape scene.

[SulisKorrigan]

5 starred and fave. I wrote my english thesis on the sexism in the Twilight series. Ugh. Its deplorable. Especially out here in the fing boondocks, where girls love the "moral" message and live in the Twilight fantasy all the time.

[geffel]

love the music, but I have no idea what Twilight is.

[mysweetrhodora]

count yourself lucky lol

[GnosticDjinn]

Where do you live? That's a place I'd like to go.

[ot63]

I don't get the whole vampire thing? I watched about 10 minutes of True Blood and simply felt a general feeling of "wat?"

[Comptech224]

In the context of this video, the related videos are ironic to be seen there.

[QuirksMode]

Check out "Let The Right One In" (book and movie)

[WolfgangNightshadow]

Glad someone finally got the guts to speak up against this atrocity.

[heoTheo]

5 starred, faved.. I'm fucking done with it as well.

[PollarIceAge]

Savage lol to shitty Twilight. Trust me dude, I know exactly how you feel. lol.....I can't help but love how many times you said SHIT!

and your wife.....TWILIGHT FUCKING SUX!!!! FTW!

[sweetandawesome]

There are many reasons why Twilight annoys me; sparkling vampires, vampires who don't feed off of humans (a.k.a. the 'Good Vampire'), S.M.'s constant marveling over how Edward is such an amazing boyfriend even though he's borderline abusive, her shitty self-insert, and how the book is geared towards making people think it's written about them. Even if someone wanted to read a teenage geared Vampire story they could have at least gone for Blue Bloods, which is ten times better than Twilight.

[hellshade2]

i don't watch twilight....

[MyCrownOfWorms]

stupid 13 year old emo girls... AND EMO GUYS. fuck em, gay vampires

[lookit87]

Dumb emo teenagers just ate that shit.

[lookit87]

needed to be said . . . you're the man, man.

[KaptajnKaffe]

vampires are crazy killers who kill women to survive!!

gay vampires in twilight -.-

[OminousVoice]

As one who has never read the novels or seen the movie I can't pass judgement on their perceived shittiness. However the mere concept of sparkly vampires brings my piss to a boil and thus find these rants highly entertaining.

More, more I say!

[TheProf1988]

Twilight fucking blows.

dracula, nosferatu, salem's lot, interview with the vampire, lost boys etc fucking rule

[sweetandawesome]

Nosferatu ftw.

[Dadalama]

but they *SPARKLE*

@_@

I just had to

[darkcolmar]

about time you got back on! =P

[ThoughtShard]

Spot on SS.

Btw the best vampire fiction i read is Hellsing(it's a pseudo-continuation of Bram Stoker's Dracula)

Alucard ftw.

[Comptech224]

How about Blood+?

[Lousypenguin]

As always another classic!! You the man!

[Sav3TheWorld]

Female population just got PWNed!

[thenoirkid]

hahah

I love u man

u work in a book store and are honest

xxx

[REBMike1]

People should read Bram Stoker's Dracula instead. A great book.

[nathanforst]

LOL

I have never read any of these books or have watched the movie and I can honestly say that I never will.

[wonderpope]

This made me laugh...great rant!

[rafen8705]

I've read Vampire hunter D, best vampire story ever! second book was a bit slow, but the first one was awsome.

[antaresrichard]

It was a dark and stormy twilight...

;-)

[antaresrichard]

Follow-up: The Swordsage is mightier than that pen!

;-)

[Atiniir]

I'd also like to point out that Let The Right One In is actually a book too.

Just saying:p

[Atiniir]

I think the problem with Meyer is that she is pretty much shielded from any real criticism so she won't know how to improve, and there are the scores of fan-people who will eat it all up.

Publishers see it's popular, they replicate it with other authors and we end up with shelves and shelves of this crap. And because of this over-romanticisation, vampires (to me) can't be taken seriously as monsters any more.

So now I have to look elsewhere for the antagonists in my own writing.

Nice...

[edmanrapperu]

LOL

Master - bater XD

[universalJok3r]

I really just dislike modern fiction in general.

I never even bothered with twilight, I never liked any of dan browns plots, and while I enjoyed the harry potter series growing up, I really find JK Rowling to just be full of herself.

Is it just me or does no one read classical literature anymore...

I have friends who had honestly never heard of "Emma"... Is this really the future of the the writing industry, are we going to be forever condemmed to this mindnumbing drivel....

[alienraven]

"Emma" is my faverate Jane Austen book i know everyone loves pride and prejudice but i personaly found Lizzie Bennet to be kind of annoying. If your into fanticy i can'y recomend Tom Holt and Terry Prattchet highly enough.

[stopjoshing]

im surprised you didn't mention "let the right one in", the Swedish film that opened up around the same time as "twilight" that hardly got any recognition and was an actual great film.. but i guess this is a novel discussion.

[Geodge]

Brilliant!!!!!

I'm a middle aged woman ... and I totally don't Get It! Of course, I didn't get "Bridges of Madison County", a so-called "chick ping", even tho it was written in the voice of GUY completely in love with the sound of his own voice. Bridges was written by a guy. and Twilight by a gal. Bewildered, I think:

Bridges: Photographer with NO life pwns working man WITH one by laying his wife while he's out-of-town. Rhapsodizes about himself 150 pages, gets laid, happily ever after

c

[happysplodie]

It's not badly written!

...actually it is. I mean, it's spell checked... But that's about it... I read part of one to see what it was all about. What I got when I picked up the book was that the authors ability to string words and ideas together was incoherent, though I never read the whole book.

AH HA! GOTCHA BITCH! Is about guys not really wanting a nice car, guys want a nice car because girls want a nice car.

The author is a Mormon. Mormonism will fuck you up. Subservient women,etc.

[rozeboosje]

LOL i have no idea what you're talking about. Some new novelist with a formulaic approach to writing crap, or something. But it was so entertaining I watched the whole thing XD

[MotionFur]

Nooo, you're dissing my favorite book series!

JK, I'm illiterate.

[devaloki]

ahahahaha, 5 stars all the way for fucking real! true blood is a good series but twilight was like teen melodrama.....

and really, all this "sexy vampire" stuff is gettting so much. vampires are supposed to be anti-human demonic creatures. maybe there can be some sexy vampires, but vampires are meant to be somethign else!

[Defihilist]

Twilight reminds me of the power of marketing and the trend mentality in America.

..and it disgusts me

good video man! lmao

[veerasix]

THANK YOU.

Those books are intellectually offensive on so many levels. Bitches and whores. If anything, in my world she gets an award for creating the most annoying, maudlin, brain-numbing fan base. Ever.

[steelhamster]

I've not read Twighlight, but surely no book is worse than the Da Vinci Code. That's two days I will never get back.

[steelhamster]

Incidentally, the phrase you are looking for with regards to zombie romance is Zom Rom Com (stole it from Shawn of the Dead ;-) )

[Swordsage]

Oh man, I feel your pain.

I do have to admit, I haven't read this series either. Unfortunately, I had to suffer through the several young females in the store that would tell me all the details about the series, as well as hearing my wife's own rants about the books when I got home, as she had friends who had read them, and she had checked out sites critiquing them bit by bit. So I now know a lot about a series that I didn't want to read in the first place.

[steelhamster]

I was dragged to see Twilight by a girl I was dating, so can't say how it holds up to the books, but the movie was atrocious, gimme Lost Boys any day, Christ I'd even watch Buffy and Angel, at least there was some real peril in it

[mopme2008]

where do you find all the music you use for these?

[Swordsage]

It's not easy to site one source: I've collected these tunes from all sorts of places, and have been listening to and collecting them for years. I've had a hell of a cd collection in the past as well, though because I lost most of it I've had to rebuild it (and there's so much that I may never be able to find again). Also, the internet remains an invaluable source of nabbing music.