Chuck Norris, Jokes of Himself and Tolded by CHUCK NORRIS

[peanutlickers123]

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer

[SYDNEYtheAWESOME]

@peanutlickers123 screw that, with one touch he could kill em!

[Nirvanaseattle1]

can someone tranlate the last one... yeap, a fucking foreign speaker..xD

[DemonicLionXXX]

tolded Tolded TOLDED....... well thats new

[MultiVietMinh]

chuck norris is so powerful that he can maek a gay person straight and vice versa

[Tosexyformyshirt13]

Chuck Norris filmed the making of the first camera.

[Tacky1989]

when Chuck Norris failed the classes in college, faculty staff went to probation :)

[89MoLL]

When Chuck Norris goes swimming he doesn't become wet, is the water that becomes Chuck Norris.

[SumthinSmellz]

they once found chuck norris' diary....... its now known as the "guiness book of world records"

[omgwookienookie]

lol chuck norris is shit there i said why aint he here smashing my head into my keyboardsdafsdgfdgdfsgdfgdfsgd­fgdfsgfdgsgdfhjghfiktytrio7869­urteykl89ohnryd56786io86helpGD­FGDG

[bookac]

after watching this video, you will recive a phone call, and then.. then you will die in next 7 days xD

[1997girlylovesginger]

@bookac Tf? Bring it on..

[pabl0paredes]

if Jesus can walk on the water, Chuck Norris can swim in dirt

[jakethesnakewatson]

Chuck norris was doing a stripper in a semi truck and a little of his juice got onto the seat. That's when optimus prime happened

[CholeraZajeliMojNick]

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, he decides the time himself.

[menchacajoseph93]

@fahidlod1 my kin brother!!!!

[bobandjoeloveJB]

vchuck norris does not play hide and seek he plays HIDE-AND-HOPE-I-DON'T-FIND-YOU­!

[mbavfan22]

chuck norris tripped and europe collided with asia

[TheLegacyOfK41Z3R]

NO NO NO CHUCK NORRIS CHECKS HIS CLOSET FOR BRUCE LEE AND JACKIE CHAN

[Ha1frican]

chuck norris doesnt need to eat food just uses his body for protection

[rhobz2792]

did chuck norris fuck mona lisa?

[slipknotic99]

there once use the be a four way intersection called "CHUCK NORRIS", but they changed it because noone ever crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

[seanfloler]

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow, underneath his GUN. i(*-*i)

[FearRandomComments]

Fuck Chuck

GO BRUCE!

[Flepsikon]

57140 people died after watching this video

[ThaThing1337x]

"Tolded"?

You get an F in English from me.

[andthewinnerisJ]

Looks like a cool guy

[fahidlod1]

Rubs forehead twice

[Acidsubzero180]

there are no UFOs. only the bits of the earth that chuck norris stamped on

[DaveJ721]

When you say "nobody's perfect", Chuck Norris takes it as a personal insult.

[SparkySlow]

@DaveJ721 The best one dude =)) !

[bruinpimp41111]

chuck norris went to the virgin islands, now their just called the islands

[metaltera86]

Hahahaha the last one is funny

[thundeplaya]

Chuck norris can have gay sex by saying NO HOMO.

[NIGHT2PWN]

"Tolded by Chuck Norris" win

[MetalPeasant]

Chuck Norris drinks internet Cafes

Chuck Norris can rip an internet page

[djaism]

Chuck Norris build house in which he was born.....:D

[mrunposible]

I just got eleven new Chuck Norris jokes

[Ximan92x]

Chuck Norris fucked his wife so hard that he popped his condom and his born his wife gave birth to a pregnant daughter which also has a pregnant granddaughter

[DLloydFincher]

Chuck Norris was born in a house he built with his bare hands.

[dakotarocks1234]

Abh

[bigarm4598]

@dakotarocks1234 RULE NUMBER ONE!!!!!!!

[NinjaaSupa]

*rubs forhead twice*

[bobthebeastlyest1234]

I was sent by 'rubs forehead twice'

[23kingbrandon23]

Rubs forehead twice

[ChocBlurr]

Rubs forehead twice.

[Diamond52894]

Rubs forehead twice

[thatoneguyagin]

@XxXiLoveXsXxX hell yeah!

[XxXiLoveXsXxX]

Rubs forehead twice

[Xxrugbyplayer757]

Anyone notice the 5 on top

[jtcoss1994]

He said they wanted to put chuck Norris's face on mount rushmore but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard

[wtfidiotic]

@jtcoss1994

haha thx :)

[wtfidiotic]

pls someone send the joke Chuck told in the end, my english ain't good enough to understand that :/

[skateboardinguitaris]

4 people gonna get roundhoused

[HumphreyTheWolf]

He should have said I when he read "Chuck Norris"

[BustDays]

lol why are the top comments in spanish? 

[taijutsumaster15]

@BustDays Got a problem señor Gringo?

[tetitotito1]

chuck norris nos obligo a aprender español :/

[chefawkes]

Chuck Norris can`t read.

[olimar9]

He was telling his jokes in fourth person.

[Sharpluke1997]

i checked the latest world record book, last page in very small print it says chuck norris holds all of these records, these were the closest ones near him

[14thgamertag]

Chuck Norris played russian roulette with a loaded gun, and won.

[CeeLukey]

Chuch norris secretly has sex with every women in the world once a month,

As a result they bleed for a week.

[323neji]

a chuck norris no le gusto la nariz de la esfinge de giza.... y le dio una patada giratoria

[slapmaster4]

in the winter kids spell their name in the snow witth thir pee chuck noris spells his name in concreete

[zoltar5282]

This guy is awesome. What a great sport. Those jokes are seriously funny.

[GoldenNinjaKing]

chuck norris only used 1 chop stick

[Ruben1994OL]

Santa Claus actually wanted two days to deliver all the gifts. Chuck Norris gave him one...

[rockyz]

chuck norris once farted. Scientists call it the Big Bang

[darklordfry]

who disliked the video? they should watch out... even in hell!

[jruiz1090]

Haha...Chuck norris jokes never get old..

[AndreasL22]

Chuck Norris doesnt swim, water just wants to be around him

[Chambruliam]

Me no speako spanisho so why youno top ratedo?

[boozled86]

@Chambruliam LOL

[TheStormie99]

The 7th thing have done. Liquid does that in MGS4

[Ghost5104]

The boogeyman one was my favourite XD.

[paradamed]

lol at the rushmore one. Funny stuff!

[OobrYanoOx1994take]

ese mi tio xD

chuk norris manda!

[Toca91]

Someone once said that Chuck Norris is gay... That's the last thing he said.

[yockinnottou]

@Toca91 no i just said it stupid wow haha fagg fake and gay

[Mandalander]

@yockinnottou - Chuck Norris killed you so fast for that you haven`t even recognized so far!!

[yockinnottou]

@Mandalander trololo0l

[noahjell]

they once named a road chuck norris but they had to rename it.....because no one survives when they cross chuck norris!!!!

[Nomada082]

COMENTED REMOVED FOR CHUCK NORRIS

[LadyFlowGirl]

4 personas van a ser decapitadas por Chuck esta noche...

[Gemini6689]

Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do :]

[WhiteWolf1088]

Chuck Norris invented Chuck Norris jokes

[IHATEJOSHCHRISTIAN]

i use to find chuck norris to be awesome... then i watched walker texas ranger

[jorgemameza]

When Chuck norris slept with a truck, optimus prime was born!

[ShamoonX]

The Eclipse is not because of sun! It's because of Chuck Norris.

[Lucy9290]

Chuck Norris Lost His Virginity Before His Dad LOL

[thevintagekid69]

@Lucy9290 His dad could've been a sperm donor.

[sarahweirdo5]

Chuck Norris doesn't need watch, HE decides what time it is.

[Pes10Stuff]

chuck norris know the last digit of pi

[PeaceFullyIncharged]

even chuck norris makes mistakes

[COMMANO38]

Chuck Norris isn't telling jokes... He's laying down the law!

[mateuw1]

when a zombie bites chuck norris he dosent turn into a zombie the zombie turns ito chuck norris

[vbsaxplayer16]

@mateuw1 there can only be one chuck norris

[SomeTotalRandom]

chuck norris runs on water and swims on land

[natalater1]

@SomeTotalRandom no swims through land

[therealsolstice]

this is the first time i've ever seen him respond to the stigma

[thegunerscratsh]

donde yo vivia antes chuck norris era misionero de la filosofia de chuck norris y sus amigos,no pero en serio abia un cura igual a chuck norris y tambien era gringo

deve ser su hijo ajjajajajja

los planetas no giran alrededor del sol es mas el universo gira alrededor de chuck norris

[Leonelstudios27]

El publico murio 4 dias despues por recibir una patada giratoria de Chuck Norris

[lpz2224]

chuck norris doesnt read. he stares the book out until it gives him the information he wants.

[demgod]

Chuck Norris is the only Human Being EVER that can roundhouse kick you in the back of the face

[jungelsucks98]

comment removed by chuck norris

[therealsolstice]

@jungelsucks98 hahahaahhaahahaaa niiice

[hobo74123]

chuck norris can round house kick u to china without lifting his leg

[jimleerules]

@gothikthing es que esos que han vivido no se " rien de ... " chuck norris , ellos se " rien con .. " chuk norris

[BlackWing96]

@allierzeznik95 old

[allierzeznik95]

@BlackWing96 If I gave a shit I wouldn't have typed it.

[BlackWing96]

@allierzeznik95 typed wat???

[allierzeznik95]

@BlackWing96 If I gave a shit I wouldn't have typed it.

[Youand1death]

chuck norris can round house kick you in the back of your face!

[johncp1989]

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

[SVTCO]

is the world gonna end in 2012? No because Chuck Norris postponed it.

[TheAtomicGlow]

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird

[alvanetr]

chuck norris made love with a frigde. nine month later born OPTIMUS PRIME

[FiSKEN80]

@alvanetr "chuck norris made love with a frigde. nine month later born OPTIMUS PRIME" , its with a truck lol

[MegaSuperstar95]

hahaahahh stuppid

[safeh0use]

Chuck Norris has problems reading.

[watabooo]

@safeh0use

NO reading has problem with Chuck Norris!

[crodark91]

Chuck Norris gets in tram, and says "follow this car"

[gulfmen86]

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father.

[NEEDCARS]

Only Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer

[mitchnoriss]

chuck norris can slam a revolving door

[BigTanko11]

Chuck Norris once uppercutted a horse, thats where we get giraffes from

[YOSHIisGANGSTER]

Jesus maybe be able to walk on water but Chuck Norris can swim on land.

[tiarnan76]

hahahah

[TheJamiemills1]

Chuck Norris once had sex in the back of a truck...that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

[Jstogie]

chuck norris lost his virginity befor his dad did

[XMADJOEXproductions]

heres an even better one... Some kids wear Superman pajamas, Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas

[scientificallyunstab]

that's my favourite one

[amner86]

chuk norris no ve el reloj para saber la hora, el solo deside la hora ke es!

[libaconil]

LMFAO

[surlupo]

Chuck Norris te adoramos. (Hoy no duermo en casa por si acaso).

[XxXNsSakuraXxX]

Chuck norris deja que hagan chistes sobre el por que no son chistes !

[peacemen89]

me estoi riendo de chuck norris solo por el echo que si no lo ago venga y me mate mientras duermo

[Charlestokun]

siii, corren los rumores que el unico dia que hicieron enfurecer a chuck norris, fue el fin de la era de los dinosaurios

[acebl00dpwnage]

@peacemen89 translation: I'm laughing at chuck norris only because failure to do so ago to come and kill me while I sleep.

grammar

[jimleerules]

chuck norris no cuenta chistes .... por que nadie se rie de chuck norris y sobrevive

[meme411ify]

@jimleerules englesh please

[jimleerules]

@meme411ify  sorry i dont speak englesh

[acebl00dpwnage]

@jimleerules translation: chuck norris doesnt tell jokes... because nobody laughs at chuck norris and survives

[pezpulpo08]

una vez stephen hawkins no le quiso pasar el balon a chuck norris en un partido de futbol

[scientificallyunstab]

JAJAJAJAJJJAJAJAJAJAJJA

[Alberthardyboy]

que dice en la que no esta escrito?

[scificrawler]

cuando chuck hace lagartijas no se levante el , se baja la tierra

no hay esteroides en el baseball solo jugadores a los ke chuck les a respirado

en vez de haber nacido normal chuck salio del vientre de si madre a punta de golpes

una vez chuck norris derribo un avion aleman apuntandole con el dedo y gritando bang

chuck no bate la matequilla el le da patadas giratorias a las vacas y la mantequilla sale directa

[Gonzalodark3]

mmm si conosieras un poco del pasado veras que hiso realmente buenas peliculas hasta en una lucho con bruce lee

[M4llorca]

lo mejor es que chuck denuncio al que hizo todos esos chistes sobre el xDDD

[XxJvanKunxX]

Cuando Chuck Norris va a pagar impuestos, da un papel en blanco con una foto de el Lista para atacar... Chuck Norris no pagara impuestos NUNCA!

jajajajajaja me parto de risa

[mandrilconsida]

pobre imbecil retardado

[mandrilconsida]

viva don chuck

[sergcena10]

chuck norris no tiene familia. el es su unica familia

[pimpdk84]

Chuck Norris vende su orina en lata, se llama Red-Bull

[mandrilconsida]

haha xD

[d4v3yj0n35]

this is a great vid.  5 starz =D

[TheTrynotaker]

chuck norris se afeito la barba con un dedo

[17Ruffy17]

se le be buen tio se lo toma a risa XD

[tolokum]

falta la traduccion al español

[javierm1995]

chuck norris es un idolo XD