I LOVE your videos! you really put yourself out there and explain these things in new empowering ways!! BLESSINGS to you! :) and much strenght and love to all what you are experiencing in life :)
@cantusamator See Dr. Stanislav Grof. I combine his research with what I read from the real experiences of people with BD. When the theory matches the facts, it makes it into a video!
While i was still manic I went on a trip to Israel on birth right. One night we spent in the desert. The Rabbi told us to walk into the desert in total darkness and meditate/pray. I ended up letting so much pent up emotion out. I was crying my eyes out thinking about how my dad got hit in the head with a baseball bat, and the pain it caused our family and his life. I did so much in my life to prove to him how much he ment to me. Now that im on medication i feel like my spark is gone...
we as a species have become so far removed from nature, and the natural order of things, as a direct result of modern technology, and imho, capitalism, which only exploits natural resources, creating conflict through the avenues of greed, envy, classism, etc., inflicting further damage to the earth in the forms of pollution and war, further removing us from what we once were... in tune with our home... Btw... What exactly is wrong with spontaneous masturbation??? : p
I usually have various funny pictures or meaningful pictures scrolling as my laptop background. Helps kinda lift you up and your always seeing uplifting things. You have some great spiritual pictures and uplifiting ones but the picture of the dog standing on its front feet having a piss... Priceless!
What if I everyone I know isn't accepting enough or too scared to accept that I'm healing? Because honestly, I started to realize that I'm healing pretty recently, and my friends, family and doctors(with the exception of my psychiatrist who's lowering my prescribed dosage on one of my my bipolar medications due to my ticks) is too afraid that I'll become my biological dad to understand what I'm going through. Currently, the only people I can talk to about what I'm going through, are online.
Hello sir , wow i really loved your knowledge you have shared .I feel you are 100% accurately describing the situation. If you would not mind please EMAIL me at paulkendig@hotmail.com ....i have been 'LABELED" bipolar and feel I'm "normal" and want my doctor to change my diagnosis. Do you know of nay people or groups that have been able to accomplish this ? and what steps i need to take ?
wow, i had forceps used on me, fractured my skull, and i was a child of rape so i was certainly not wanted, thats kind of crazy, didn't know that stuff could play a factor.
When I was in a manic episode, I couldn't help but say to people in my art class who didn't have inspiration to: " MAKE LOVE TO THE PAINT BRUSH! TOUCH IT GENTLY, AND JUST LET IT DRIFT! CATCH ITS FLOW! TALK TO IT! LET IT TALK TO YOU! MAKE LOOOOVE TO IT! "
Now that I think about it, that was a pretty awesome thing to say. Though people didn't understand, it made complete sens to me.
Ive felt like puking, but not because im sick but more because im disgusted by society, by life and by the fact that im forced to interact with people but people revolt me. I guess its beucase i feel ive been infected by other peoples hoped and fears, by peer pressure, by social norms and its made me resentful and makes me want to go around puking on people just to express how sick they have made me feel. Ive got an active kundalini, the most common thing is for me to have third eye sensations
@OneMove33 Has it ever passed your mind that you are making them feel sick in return? Most people have little awareness of how much unecessary drama/damage they cause. Just a thought.
@bipolarorwakingup Yes but im actually quite introverted and apart from laziness and no apparent care in the world which annouys some people i know any negativity is usally self destructive i dont take anything out on others. I dont even talk much about things because i find language limiting as to explain my perspectives and i wont get any answer or solace from others.
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In thought we are indeed time travelers who can encounter spirits. We can all move from past to present to future; and even stop time by pressing the rewind, play or forward and pause buttons of the mind. We encounter spirits and ancestors in thoughts and dreams. We may even shake the hand of the devil in bad thoughts and nightmares...I experience blackouts after sex! LMAO One's Chakras comes to mind: see the Upanishads.
manic depression / bipoalr disorder!!! Your thoughts are well presented and I admire your research, work and dedication. We can respectfully agree to disagree on certain points of thought...I cannot wait to show this series to my coworkers, including many psychiatrists and psychologists. My point is, all medical treatment must be given with INFORMED CONSENT. The patient must be allowed to define the terms of his/her recovery. Best wishes. John Andrew Elizondo
@jaeou812 I´ll confess, there is one person I know that I would medicate by force, if I could. He is completely destroying his life and there appears to be no way to stop him.
of the ego / a battle between the ego and the soul? Noone; not me, not you, and certainly not science and her doctors; has an understanding of the whole truth of this condition except the Omniscious: God Himself. Your solution to your condition might work for you and my solution might work for me. We must both agree that just as no two people are alike, therefore no two manifestations of this condition are alike as well. I will say this: you are a breath of fresh air in the discussion of
I humbly submit that the battle between the soul and the ego cannot fully reach resolution in this world. Recovery from manic depression is a continuing process, not a destination...it is someting we must work on daily. BTW, just as you earlier posted that, the idea that the root of mental illness is a chemical imbalance is just a theory, I submit that you are positing just a theory as well. Could it not be that the real cause of manic depression is both a chemical imbalance and a collapse
@jaeou812 True, mine is just a theory and scientifically unprovable. But does it reflect how you feel when you have BD? For some, maybe not. But for many of the people who have commented below, the idea reflects their life experience. In that sense, there is a validity to the idea. What experience leads us to a ´chemical imbalance?´ Only that, from a biology based model, its could make sense - if they only had the science to back it up, which they don´t.
You're not waking up, you're making up. Nothing you say has any validity. As delusion is an aspect of mania, you may want to consider the possibility that you're out-of-touch with reality rather than in touch with it.
@lolwtf92 I admire a guy who disagrees with a fair amount of intelligence (i´ll ignore the condescension) I´ll leave you with this....is it really possible for someone to be as delusional as you say I am and make videos so provocative that you keep on watching? This is your third comment dude. Admit it! You dig my stuff.
If you were a white supremacist and made a series of absurd claims about white people being genetically superior to all others, and someone posted multiple comments disagreeing with you, does that mean that you are posting compelling arguments for racial superiority, and the commenter is secretly being enjoying them? No. It means your claims are so egregiously inane it's painful to see anyone arguing for it them the first place.
I have bipolar II. I also have the capacity for rational thought. The two are not mutually exclusive. I had a full-blown manic episode once, and yes, I was irrational. I didn't recognize this at the time, seeing as that's an aspect of psychosis, but when I came out of it I realized that I had been insane. Yes, it's nice to think that you're a special snowflake who understands all of reality, but that's an irrational thought.
@lolwtf92 I enter this similar mind state. Although I enjoy the manic episodes and believe them to be true, I also like to explore them rationally. It's about balance. Yes we are spiritual beings, but we also have to remember, that we live on Earth at this time, with other beings, who might not see the universe as you do.
Is bipolar II so different from bipolar I? I have bipolar II. I've always wanted to experience full mania to see where the adventure would take me. I don't think i've gone as far as psychotic in a hypomanic episode.
@IndigoWaffles Hypomania is like the edge before psychosis. Dr. David Lukoff did a paper on the connections between the high arousal state of a creative person, hypomania and psychosis. It was a cool one. I hope to make a video out of it one day. BTW, the way the world is today, I wouldn´t ask for that psychosis. Without support, you will be headed from the hospital pretty quickly. I recommend meditating instead, if you can!
I had an experience, which I've since stopped smoking pot -because I had all this inner turmoil come up and I started to get cold, heart palpitation, extremely tired, forgetting, even to breathe, and then the lights went out and my head dropped back. My g/f's father came in and gave me mouth to mouth, and called 911 because I was behaving so strange.. I remember thinking how I wanted to talk with my sister, or that something was wrong with her, before blacking out. I wonder, anxiety or more?
@bipolarorwakingup Ever since my father passed away, our connection has become very strong, I talk with her as much as possible.. Every time I even think of that event, it brings on a mild panic, almost as if that history has been etched into my emotions, hypnotizing me to an extent. I want to be able to come to peace with it, and not be afraid of it, but I'm not sure how to address it properly.. I wish I could remember what happened, as in where I went during those few minutes...
My good friends get scared of me when i'm manic, and my family wants to put me in the mental hospital when i'm manic.
so stopping the meds is not something i can just say i'm doing, i was wondering (since i get tested once a month) if i can stop my meds, then take my meds for the week before a test/ keep myself poorly hydrated/ drink alcohol before the day of the test to raise lithium level? would this trick work or not?
love your work bud.i do hope the people that need to hear will be able to listen.my lifes work has become the healing of the spirit and much of what you say concerning the ego/spirit battle is very succinct.
I wanted to ask a question that I know isn't going to get a 100% answer but I f u could shed some light on it. I have had many of the expiriences intact almost all of them but what I find strange I feel as if I see someone in a state I can feel there pain or I all of a suddenly get an emotion that is just like there's I have even had hallousanations or expieriences that have somewhat changed my life
I'm relieved to hear your reasoning behind BP. I never believed things just happen, I was always sure there were reasons behind everything. But how can someone let go when surrounded by a worried family who blocks the healing process before it even starts, by using drugs? I completely see what you're saying but what's your advice to all the patients trapped with loved ones who simply cannot grasp your explanations? Or to the girlfriend who, after watching the videos, is the only one that sees?
@JusBuful To the parents, say nothing. A closed door is a closed door. Trying to open it will only irritate them. To the girlfriend, IDK, if she is open, show her some more, and when the opportunity presents itself, always choose the higher path in your life.
Then why do I get depressed after these experiences. I have had two in my life. Both afer psychedlic drugs, near death and ego death. I am an artist and have been told I am bipolar and am now on medication. I have experienced everything you talk about in your videos. I worry the medication might be hurting. I am confused by your video because I want to believe it but you dont talk about how for most this is a life long thing often ending in suicide. So whats your point whats mine?
@HanorahDuggan My answers may not save you, but your questions will! No harm in that. Stay skeptical, but open....trust your experience, see my reading list for other sources of information...its on my blog.
Is it possible to regress from a higher level of consciousness? In middle school I began noting the "fake" nature of people and because of this it was difficult for me to get along with most. Moving through high school I let go of my own intuition to conform so that I could be socially accepted. Now that I am nearing my University stay I still have the problem of conforming even though my nature has always been in conflict with such actions.
Do you think i should go to a psychiatrist and get a diagnosis. I rly dont want to, so i've been avoiding this even though for some time now i've been feeling I might have had some mental disorder, as my friends would point out to me that i was projecting symptoms of depression onto them which i had and they didn't
@unbanane please avoid psychiatry. They will just medicate you. Better to find a therapist, perhaps a Transpersonal Psychologist to work through your emotional issues.
And don't worry, having emotional issues, traumas and repressions to work through makes you completely normal. It's all part of waking up!
I dont think i have emotional issues. And idk about traumas, but i've repressed almost every negative feeling i've ever had. In turn i have had a permanent loss of shame as you say. I dont nearly act as crazy like pissing on the floors or something, but i definitely push the envelope that way almost everyday. I encourage myself. I feel that happier for it sometimes, other times it depresses me. but it seems like the right thing to do. Wat do you think?
Nadine, considering your history, my short advice would be to stay on your meds to avoid further hospitalization, but look for a therapist who you trust to discuss and work through your emotional issues.
On one hand I would like to stop taking the drugs. On the other hand I'm afraid of going trough a psychose again and probably taken to a mental hospital again. W'here Ik have spend 9 months in a row already. We're they starte to give me Zyprexa then Risperdal and finaly Abilify. And of COURSE the Lithium.
The thing is... The things I remember from my psychoses are not very postive. I was really very confused. I was not able to think straight. Afterward I'm thinking a lot different. I'm just not sure,
I'm doubting now if I should stop taking medication or not. The medication I'm taking now is Camcolit> Lithium, Abilify> Anti psy. and Lamotrogige> Anti Depress.
the heart thing speeding up i have and lately i have the urge to lift weights ive been doi it for three days im 15 and live in la plz help me understand
i think its your subconscious feeling stuck, like where do i begin? You found your soul and now your just confused. You feel STUCK. You feel like their is NO WAY out. Your 15 and i bet you feel like their are so many barriers blocking you. Mainly parents, so now you are resorting back to your ego. Because to deal with what you REALLY want to do is IMPOSSIBLE. So you have started self improvement so OTHERS view you as something else. Which is the ego coming back.
i understand but now i just need to get comftorble with myself its easy to get distracted and forget that i just need to be my self and nobody else or any other image i feel like my eyes are open now ive been making healthier decisions mentally and physically ...through this experiance i have matured alot its funny because a few days later my mom got me dr phills book about a diet and i looked at the contents and i feel like i went through all that in one morning,,,,
One of the biggest traumas for me is circumcision. Today (was that today?) I re experienced being in my mother's womb while in the bathtub. I felt her anxiety and left-brained mind worried about if she's doing everything "correctly" rather than just feeling love and trust for the baby inside her (me). Very painful experiences, especially since I'm living with my parents for the first time in 5 years (I'm 24) because of the crisis I'm going through. It's almost like a cruel trick.
Once again I relate to everything in this video. I definitely feel possessed by demons and am going through some sort of healing process. Have you looking in Arthur Janov and Primal Therapy? I'm seeing a primal therapist right now with the hope that he will help me release my "toxins" since otherwise I'm not in a very unsupportive and misunderstanding environment.
Well, from the doctors that have healed the disorder, they all feel that the roots for most people are in the spiritual/emotional realm. Now, just like sleep deprivation or smoking ganja, maybe mercury poisoning is a trigger for some people, but I have no research on it.
I have been psychotic and you are such a fool. Have YOU ever been PSYCHOTIC???It is NOt something to trigger in anyone. It could even be fatal. In fact one of these people who you so warmly make psychotic may turn and try and take YOUR life.what kind of a hero do you think you are?You CANT HEAL PSYCHOSIS. The only way to come down from it is medication. unless you want to be psycotic for a MONTH.
Have I been in an acute psychosis? Um, yes. Have I taken people through periods of psychosis, without meds or hospitalization.
Um, yes. Can you heal psychosis. Yes. Do people 'come back' from psychosis unmedicated? With me, they do. Just thought you'd be interested. MY story is on my channel bipolarORrwakingUP.
Amazing!!! you are on point and you're extremely right...I hope the few that have watched this video will use it to benefit themselves spiritually and live a productive life.
I have a friend who thinks she is the messiah. she is not on any meds. she has some of the symptoms this video describes. Her condition has lasted for several years now. Your episode was brief Sean. What is going on with my friend?
a lot of people who can't afford expensive therapy treatment, and who for some reason don't have a lot of 'true' friends to talk to, resort to drugs, meaningless sex or suicide.
I myself was right over the ledge when I came across your work.
Thanks again for literally 'saving' my life. David Kim from Seoul, South Korea
I agree with you David! and I'm wondering aside from these videos, what's your "therapy"? How do you get through the day to day -especially after such trauma?
good point. i don't know your whole story, but you really are in tune with what's really going on here. i have a story myself, which i won't get into. the one thing i'm trying to figure out now is what do i do after all of these starts and stops? i can only feel separate from this "reality" for so long, then i have to figure out how to live within it.
Hi, i thought it was comforting to hear that other people hear or sense angels and particularly demons, (its not just me) ive been recently sensing and hearing what i think are demons trying to get me to hurt myself, they must be demons if they want me to do bad things. at the time it doesnt eem that scary but when i snap back into reality i get very frightened, thanks, i just needed to tell someone
You´re welcome....Your demons are simply a manifestation of your fears. Just let them pass over you. They will do you no harm. The more you run away, the faster they will chase you! So simply stand still and accept.
Wow!! Amazing video. It captures so many feelings and thoughts that i have and desperately want to explain to people. But when I try, it's like trying to explain calculus in a language that doesn't exist. People always tell me to "get help so i can live a normal and happy life." But I like BP. It's the most exciting drugcoaster ride ever!! I would never want a boring average life. I'm just frustrated because I can't harness my emotions and express them. You have it down clearly. Thank you.
I agree with you, the Schneiderian First-Rank Symptoms involving alien extrernal force are by far the most disturbing ones together with those involving angelic or demonic conspiracies...cosmic awareness or brain emulation of cosmic awareness???who knows?
I also thought I was crazy when I was younger because as soon as I was alone in a room I'd be overjoyed and start laughing uncontrollably for no apparent reason. But now it happens randomly, no matter what situation I'm in. It happened to me in class, except I managed to supress the laughter.. however, I started shaking and a smile was plastered to my face. I tried to hide it because I knew it must have looked horrific. No one ever believes me when I say it's possible to be TOO happy :\
I had an experience where it felt as if time was moving twice the speed it usually does around me while usually I can slow time down.. I was so out of control.. freaky. D: oh, but I've also had an out of body experience, and I used to think I was part demon. I sometimes end up hurting myself though through self harm because that part of me.. it is almost sociopathic. what should I do?
Unfortunately, from what I´ve seen to far, monks don´t seem to get it either. I had a kundalini awakening a month ago at a meditation retreat and the people there were no help at all. I think the biggest problem is that monks are very disciplined people. Healing BP requires a very accepting approach and being allowed to express yourself freely does not mesh with the 'vow of silence' monastery style. However, transpersonaly psychologist, like Stan Grof and David Lukoff can help. See me blog
Wow! I really appreciate what you do. I have felt most all of the things you describe in mania. I once crawled out my bedroom window (where my family and P.doc were keeping me "safe" and hugged and loved and appreciated a beautiful and amazing (at the time) tree in my back yard. I feel wise and knowing during these times. I'm always stopped by fam and doc with meds and guilt about being "sane" for my children. IT SUCKS!
But I actually love the vid. Excellent work! Pictures are perfect, narration well done, and video well executed....a mixture of psychiatry, psychoanalysis (Freud), spirituality... the whole gammit.... nice. 5 stars, no less
Continued: Once you're diagnosed, your friends and family will probably percieve your emotions and behavior differently: when you're happy, they think you're (hypo)manic and on your way to a psychosis; when you're sad, they think you're depressed and maybe suicidal; when you're angry (because of being misunderstood?), they call it aggressive and they may think they have to stop you from killing someone. But when you're like a zombie, a drugged flatliner, they are relieved; that to them is normal
Notes for your next video: "Family secrets" - did you see the new version of my vid "7 generations Ott"? I added notes about some of the family secrets (1725-1945). "Violence + aggression": in my rages, my eyes would 'shoot fire' and my voice would sound demonic. Some of my (paranoid) friends projected their fears on me. They were sure I would kill someone, maybe myself. So they conspired to have me hospitalised, lying to the police and mental clinic. Which made my next rage even worse ofcourse.
September '8, during my last psychotic episode: Conversation with God (note: I was raised anti-religion) ... To prove I finally took him seriously, I was to let go any fear and do the first think that would come in my mind (he challenged me). This was to strip naked and walk the street, have a normal conversation with the first person I would meet. Didn't even take my keys, so was locked outside. I did not feel shame and explained it to the psychiatrists who visited me. They could not arrest me.
this has happened twice, and both times it was just too much to go through alone, but then again, if people are gonna watch you do it and get unsettled, that's not support, and doing it alone is the only other option. what a freakin dilemma.
and then when it goes from being a suppressed demon to a suppressed godly figure who uses your voice to speak to you, you get even more lost!
Great insight Artieful, and, right now, it is a real, frustrating, dilemma. But at least you know that you are not alone in it. I think fear plays a huge role, not only for the person in crisis, but also the supporters. A video on that coming soon as well!
i'd like to think that my ultimate goal is becoming that godly figure and realizing that he's been the real me all along, but then i feel like i've lost the serendipity of it all or that there's something else i need to learn from this experience in some serendipitous way. Great videos anyhow, keep em comin :)
I think that we pre-map out our lives and we really are god, but we are living all as normal people here for the sake of evolving through our experiences all for some greater purpose.
What do you have to say about dellusions of grandeur normally associated with mania in even the milder forms? I have not had a psychosis, but for years, I have always gone through times when I am sure that I am going to save the world and then times when I feel like i am wasting the planet's food and water and am angry at myself for being so stupidly egotistical. Then all the sudden I feel super ridiculously important again and the cycle repeats. What is that about?
It really is a crap shoot. In indigenous cultures BP can be called the shamans sickness. The thing is 10 people get it. maybe only 3 come out of it healed & become shamans. the other 7, well, they just stay crazy... their is no equanimity in nature. evolution can be an unforgiving process. Letting BP ride its course can be a very dangerous proposition. I wouldn't have it any other way. I relish the danger. I got stories that would make the hair stand on the back of your head ;)
At Diabasis, John Perry´s clinic, when people came in dignosed with acute schizophrenia, they healed 85% of the time - provided that they had been unmedicated. His book is on my blog. Soteria House had similar results. Its not the crapshoot everyone thinks it is.
Wow, I'm checking those places out. I've been free-rangeing this whole expirence. I've been too jail, the mental ward a couple times, & homeless... I haven't hurt anyone (except myself), & I guarantee I never will. It's funny when I'm really peaking I am overcome with this extreme sense of creative altruism that effects all the people around me. Your site is awesome..
Wow, Sean. Good to have you back. I have experienced some of this, though not all. I seem to experience more dissociations than delusions. I was ceserean birth but not sure how much that really affected me. I know there is some trauma, which compounds a complex creative force. I have just found icarus project and will send you a link. The metaphor is apt in that we have to fly, it's a great power, but not too close to Sun. Our culture and traumas compound this.
I know Icarus project and actually have a 'withdraw from meds book' of theirs on my blog reading list. Wow Oz, 54 views and only 1 comment so far. I think I´ve hit forbidden territory.
I only just am watching it for the first time, but the subject sounds fairly taboo, indeed.
I'm enjoying it but I think it might be too "real" for most people to have anything to comment on... if it was Britney Spears or Wardrobe Malfunction, then you'd get tons of comments by now :).
No worries, though, I think you should keep making vids and I was actually looking forwards to this since the last one, long ago.
I'll let you know what I think when I finish watching it in its entirety.
It can also be because people want to think about it first, or they're simply waiting for part 2. I want to watch this video a couple of times and digest it first before I comment on it! One thing I can tell you already: I love it!!!
I LOVE your videos! you really put yourself out there and explain these things in new empowering ways!! BLESSINGS to you! :) and much strenght and love to all what you are experiencing in life :)
InfiniteSpiritMe 1 week ago
where do u come up with this stuff?
cantusamator 5 months ago
@cantusamator See Dr. Stanislav Grof. I combine his research with what I read from the real experiences of people with BD. When the theory matches the facts, it makes it into a video!
bipolarorwakingup 5 months ago
While i was still manic I went on a trip to Israel on birth right. One night we spent in the desert. The Rabbi told us to walk into the desert in total darkness and meditate/pray. I ended up letting so much pent up emotion out. I was crying my eyes out thinking about how my dad got hit in the head with a baseball bat, and the pain it caused our family and his life. I did so much in my life to prove to him how much he ment to me. Now that im on medication i feel like my spark is gone...
Jags2468 5 months ago
@Jags2468 That's too bad. It sounds like your moments in the desert could have been very healing for you.
bipolarorwakingup 5 months ago
we as a species have become so far removed from nature, and the natural order of things, as a direct result of modern technology, and imho, capitalism, which only exploits natural resources, creating conflict through the avenues of greed, envy, classism, etc., inflicting further damage to the earth in the forms of pollution and war, further removing us from what we once were... in tune with our home... Btw... What exactly is wrong with spontaneous masturbation??? : p
KickinShadows 6 months ago
That picture at 1:18 i know a shizophrenic who woke up at night and later found out it was a ghost. woman who lived in house before
TheLonelyGamer24 6 months ago
I usually have various funny pictures or meaningful pictures scrolling as my laptop background. Helps kinda lift you up and your always seeing uplifting things. You have some great spiritual pictures and uplifiting ones but the picture of the dog standing on its front feet having a piss... Priceless!
Jennyshalfmusic 7 months ago
You kind of sound like Jack McBrayer from 30Rock.
88retrac 9 months ago
What if I everyone I know isn't accepting enough or too scared to accept that I'm healing? Because honestly, I started to realize that I'm healing pretty recently, and my friends, family and doctors(with the exception of my psychiatrist who's lowering my prescribed dosage on one of my my bipolar medications due to my ticks) is too afraid that I'll become my biological dad to understand what I'm going through. Currently, the only people I can talk to about what I'm going through, are online.
DramaThrills 11 months ago
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Hello sir , wow i really loved your knowledge you have shared .I feel you are 100% accurately describing the situation. If you would not mind please EMAIL me at paulkendig@hotmail.com ....i have been 'LABELED" bipolar and feel I'm "normal" and want my doctor to change my diagnosis. Do you know of nay people or groups that have been able to accomplish this ? and what steps i need to take ?
robotrabbit1 11 months ago
I´ve been looking for these explantations for years. I´m watchin all ur vids. thanks
1642poltergeist 11 months ago
wow, i had forceps used on me, fractured my skull, and i was a child of rape so i was certainly not wanted, thats kind of crazy, didn't know that stuff could play a factor.
xXxXBleedPurpleXxXx 11 months ago
When I was in a manic episode, I couldn't help but say to people in my art class who didn't have inspiration to: " MAKE LOVE TO THE PAINT BRUSH! TOUCH IT GENTLY, AND JUST LET IT DRIFT! CATCH ITS FLOW! TALK TO IT! LET IT TALK TO YOU! MAKE LOOOOVE TO IT! "
Now that I think about it, that was a pretty awesome thing to say. Though people didn't understand, it made complete sens to me.
TheEccentricdreamer 1 year ago
You are on point with so many aspects of your presentation. Amazing work. PEACE
advillaner 1 year ago
Was the pee warm??
christl301 1 year ago
@christl301 Very!
bipolarorwakingup 1 year ago
the fuck??
playboibunny33 1 year ago
Ive felt like puking, but not because im sick but more because im disgusted by society, by life and by the fact that im forced to interact with people but people revolt me. I guess its beucase i feel ive been infected by other peoples hoped and fears, by peer pressure, by social norms and its made me resentful and makes me want to go around puking on people just to express how sick they have made me feel. Ive got an active kundalini, the most common thing is for me to have third eye sensations
OneMove33 1 year ago
@OneMove33 Has it ever passed your mind that you are making them feel sick in return? Most people have little awareness of how much unecessary drama/damage they cause. Just a thought.
bipolarorwakingup 1 year ago
@bipolarorwakingup Yes but im actually quite introverted and apart from laziness and no apparent care in the world which annouys some people i know any negativity is usally self destructive i dont take anything out on others. I dont even talk much about things because i find language limiting as to explain my perspectives and i wont get any answer or solace from others.
OneMove33 1 year ago
Thank You so much for your voice . Its a blessing
somatoil4u 1 year ago
Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you
Nicool333 1 year ago
In thought we are indeed time travelers who can encounter spirits. We can all move from past to present to future; and even stop time by pressing the rewind, play or forward and pause buttons of the mind. We encounter spirits and ancestors in thoughts and dreams. We may even shake the hand of the devil in bad thoughts and nightmares...I experience blackouts after sex! LMAO One's Chakras comes to mind: see the Upanishads.
jaeou812 1 year ago
manic depression / bipoalr disorder!!! Your thoughts are well presented and I admire your research, work and dedication. We can respectfully agree to disagree on certain points of thought...I cannot wait to show this series to my coworkers, including many psychiatrists and psychologists. My point is, all medical treatment must be given with INFORMED CONSENT. The patient must be allowed to define the terms of his/her recovery. Best wishes. John Andrew Elizondo
jaeou812 1 year ago
@jaeou812 I´ll confess, there is one person I know that I would medicate by force, if I could. He is completely destroying his life and there appears to be no way to stop him.
bipolarorwakingup 1 year ago
of the ego / a battle between the ego and the soul? Noone; not me, not you, and certainly not science and her doctors; has an understanding of the whole truth of this condition except the Omniscious: God Himself. Your solution to your condition might work for you and my solution might work for me. We must both agree that just as no two people are alike, therefore no two manifestations of this condition are alike as well. I will say this: you are a breath of fresh air in the discussion of
jaeou812 1 year ago 2
@jaeou812 For what its worth, I´d ignore any of my videos that do not ´work for you´.
My videos are not for everybody.
bipolarorwakingup 1 year ago
I humbly submit that the battle between the soul and the ego cannot fully reach resolution in this world. Recovery from manic depression is a continuing process, not a destination...it is someting we must work on daily. BTW, just as you earlier posted that, the idea that the root of mental illness is a chemical imbalance is just a theory, I submit that you are positing just a theory as well. Could it not be that the real cause of manic depression is both a chemical imbalance and a collapse
jaeou812 1 year ago
@jaeou812 True, mine is just a theory and scientifically unprovable. But does it reflect how you feel when you have BD? For some, maybe not. But for many of the people who have commented below, the idea reflects their life experience. In that sense, there is a validity to the idea. What experience leads us to a ´chemical imbalance?´ Only that, from a biology based model, its could make sense - if they only had the science to back it up, which they don´t.
bipolarorwakingup 1 year ago
You're not waking up, you're making up. Nothing you say has any validity. As delusion is an aspect of mania, you may want to consider the possibility that you're out-of-touch with reality rather than in touch with it.
lolwtf92 1 year ago
@lolwtf92 I admire a guy who disagrees with a fair amount of intelligence (i´ll ignore the condescension) I´ll leave you with this....is it really possible for someone to be as delusional as you say I am and make videos so provocative that you keep on watching? This is your third comment dude. Admit it! You dig my stuff.
bipolarorwakingup 1 year ago
@bipolarorwakingup
That claim is ridiculous.
If you were a white supremacist and made a series of absurd claims about white people being genetically superior to all others, and someone posted multiple comments disagreeing with you, does that mean that you are posting compelling arguments for racial superiority, and the commenter is secretly being enjoying them? No. It means your claims are so egregiously inane it's painful to see anyone arguing for it them the first place.
lolwtf92 1 year ago
@lolwtf92 I you had bi-polar, you would understand. If you were not stuck in the side of ego, you would understand.
JonB20 1 year ago
I have bipolar II. I also have the capacity for rational thought. The two are not mutually exclusive. I had a full-blown manic episode once, and yes, I was irrational. I didn't recognize this at the time, seeing as that's an aspect of psychosis, but when I came out of it I realized that I had been insane. Yes, it's nice to think that you're a special snowflake who understands all of reality, but that's an irrational thought.
lolwtf92 1 year ago
@lolwtf92 I enter this similar mind state. Although I enjoy the manic episodes and believe them to be true, I also like to explore them rationally. It's about balance. Yes we are spiritual beings, but we also have to remember, that we live on Earth at this time, with other beings, who might not see the universe as you do.
JonB20 1 year ago
@lolwtf92 To class them as irrational thoughts is irrational. They are very real, but they are only truth in your own reality.
JonB20 1 year ago
Is bipolar II so different from bipolar I? I have bipolar II. I've always wanted to experience full mania to see where the adventure would take me. I don't think i've gone as far as psychotic in a hypomanic episode.
IndigoWaffles 1 year ago
@IndigoWaffles Hypomania is like the edge before psychosis. Dr. David Lukoff did a paper on the connections between the high arousal state of a creative person, hypomania and psychosis. It was a cool one. I hope to make a video out of it one day. BTW, the way the world is today, I wouldn´t ask for that psychosis. Without support, you will be headed from the hospital pretty quickly. I recommend meditating instead, if you can!
bipolarorwakingup 1 year ago
@IndigoWaffles fall in love :) just let it happen...
1787dude 1 year ago
I had an experience, which I've since stopped smoking pot -because I had all this inner turmoil come up and I started to get cold, heart palpitation, extremely tired, forgetting, even to breathe, and then the lights went out and my head dropped back. My g/f's father came in and gave me mouth to mouth, and called 911 because I was behaving so strange.. I remember thinking how I wanted to talk with my sister, or that something was wrong with her, before blacking out. I wonder, anxiety or more?
DeepestSleep 1 year ago
@DeepestSleep More. Definitely more....talk to your sister. And see the next video...it should help!
bipolarorwakingup 1 year ago
@bipolarorwakingup Ever since my father passed away, our connection has become very strong, I talk with her as much as possible.. Every time I even think of that event, it brings on a mild panic, almost as if that history has been etched into my emotions, hypnotizing me to an extent. I want to be able to come to peace with it, and not be afraid of it, but I'm not sure how to address it properly.. I wish I could remember what happened, as in where I went during those few minutes...
DeepestSleep 1 year ago
My good friends get scared of me when i'm manic, and my family wants to put me in the mental hospital when i'm manic.
so stopping the meds is not something i can just say i'm doing, i was wondering (since i get tested once a month) if i can stop my meds, then take my meds for the week before a test/ keep myself poorly hydrated/ drink alcohol before the day of the test to raise lithium level? would this trick work or not?
Squeegee33 1 year ago
love your work bud.i do hope the people that need to hear will be able to listen.my lifes work has become the healing of the spirit and much of what you say concerning the ego/spirit battle is very succinct.
enochthewatcher 1 year ago
@enochthewatcher Thanks dude!
bipolarorwakingup 1 year ago
I wanted to ask a question that I know isn't going to get a 100% answer but I f u could shed some light on it. I have had many of the expiriences intact almost all of them but what I find strange I feel as if I see someone in a state I can feel there pain or I all of a suddenly get an emotion that is just like there's I have even had hallousanations or expieriences that have somewhat changed my life
sparta117corza 1 year ago
I'm relieved to hear your reasoning behind BP. I never believed things just happen, I was always sure there were reasons behind everything. But how can someone let go when surrounded by a worried family who blocks the healing process before it even starts, by using drugs? I completely see what you're saying but what's your advice to all the patients trapped with loved ones who simply cannot grasp your explanations? Or to the girlfriend who, after watching the videos, is the only one that sees?
JusBuful 1 year ago
@JusBuful To the parents, say nothing. A closed door is a closed door. Trying to open it will only irritate them. To the girlfriend, IDK, if she is open, show her some more, and when the opportunity presents itself, always choose the higher path in your life.
bipolarorwakingup 1 year ago
Then why do I get depressed after these experiences. I have had two in my life. Both afer psychedlic drugs, near death and ego death. I am an artist and have been told I am bipolar and am now on medication. I have experienced everything you talk about in your videos. I worry the medication might be hurting. I am confused by your video because I want to believe it but you dont talk about how for most this is a life long thing often ending in suicide. So whats your point whats mine?
omshantibutterfly108 1 year ago
Hmmm... (some truth in all this, I'm sure - but some of your points I question...)
HanorahDuggan 1 year ago
@HanorahDuggan My answers may not save you, but your questions will! No harm in that. Stay skeptical, but open....trust your experience, see my reading list for other sources of information...its on my blog.
bipolarorwakingup 1 year ago
@bipolarorwakingup
HanorahDuggan 1 year ago
Is it possible to regress from a higher level of consciousness? In middle school I began noting the "fake" nature of people and because of this it was difficult for me to get along with most. Moving through high school I let go of my own intuition to conform so that I could be socially accepted. Now that I am nearing my University stay I still have the problem of conforming even though my nature has always been in conflict with such actions.
Latinoinsports 1 year ago
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu stop doing this!
loss of shame?!
sexual repression?!
goddam thats me in a nutshell.
Do you think i should go to a psychiatrist and get a diagnosis. I rly dont want to, so i've been avoiding this even though for some time now i've been feeling I might have had some mental disorder, as my friends would point out to me that i was projecting symptoms of depression onto them which i had and they didn't
unbanane 1 year ago
@unbanane please avoid psychiatry. They will just medicate you. Better to find a therapist, perhaps a Transpersonal Psychologist to work through your emotional issues.
And don't worry, having emotional issues, traumas and repressions to work through makes you completely normal. It's all part of waking up!
bipolarorwakingup 1 year ago
@bipolarorwakingup
I dont think i have emotional issues. And idk about traumas, but i've repressed almost every negative feeling i've ever had. In turn i have had a permanent loss of shame as you say. I dont nearly act as crazy like pissing on the floors or something, but i definitely push the envelope that way almost everyday. I encourage myself. I feel that happier for it sometimes, other times it depresses me. but it seems like the right thing to do. Wat do you think?
unbanane 1 year ago
Maybe you can give me some more In don't know... help or something to make up my mind about it.
Exept from the video's you've made I mean.
Thank you in advange!
Nadine Pommerel
nadinepommerel 1 year ago
Nadine, considering your history, my short advice would be to stay on your meds to avoid further hospitalization, but look for a therapist who you trust to discuss and work through your emotional issues.
bipolarorwakingup 1 year ago
On one hand I would like to stop taking the drugs. On the other hand I'm afraid of going trough a psychose again and probably taken to a mental hospital again. W'here Ik have spend 9 months in a row already. We're they starte to give me Zyprexa then Risperdal and finaly Abilify. And of COURSE the Lithium.
nadinepommerel 1 year ago
The thing is... The things I remember from my psychoses are not very postive. I was really very confused. I was not able to think straight. Afterward I'm thinking a lot different. I'm just not sure,
nadinepommerel 1 year ago
Hi, I've now seen about 6 video's of you.
I'm doubting now if I should stop taking medication or not. The medication I'm taking now is Camcolit> Lithium, Abilify> Anti psy. and Lamotrogige> Anti Depress.
nadinepommerel 1 year ago
Comment removed
tranquilbluesky 2 years ago
the heart thing speeding up i have and lately i have the urge to lift weights ive been doi it for three days im 15 and live in la plz help me understand
jdmk20guy 2 years ago
i think its your subconscious feeling stuck, like where do i begin? You found your soul and now your just confused. You feel STUCK. You feel like their is NO WAY out. Your 15 and i bet you feel like their are so many barriers blocking you. Mainly parents, so now you are resorting back to your ego. Because to deal with what you REALLY want to do is IMPOSSIBLE. So you have started self improvement so OTHERS view you as something else. Which is the ego coming back.
ethanlj14 2 years ago
i understand but now i just need to get comftorble with myself its easy to get distracted and forget that i just need to be my self and nobody else or any other image i feel like my eyes are open now ive been making healthier decisions mentally and physically ...through this experiance i have matured alot its funny because a few days later my mom got me dr phills book about a diet and i looked at the contents and i feel like i went through all that in one morning,,,,
jdmk20guy 2 years ago
ive had almost every regression man what do i do i just dont get i want to be happy i wanna wake up and be happy do anything...stay on a diet ....
jdmk20guy 2 years ago
One of the biggest traumas for me is circumcision. Today (was that today?) I re experienced being in my mother's womb while in the bathtub. I felt her anxiety and left-brained mind worried about if she's doing everything "correctly" rather than just feeling love and trust for the baby inside her (me). Very painful experiences, especially since I'm living with my parents for the first time in 5 years (I'm 24) because of the crisis I'm going through. It's almost like a cruel trick.
mattiematrik 2 years ago
Was this a guided exercise or did it happen spontaneously?
bipolarorwakingup 2 years ago
I had smoked a little herb (marijuana).
mattiematrik 2 years ago
My intention was to go into the bathtub to relax after a nice bike ride.
mattiematrik 2 years ago
I guess it doesn´t take much!
bipolarorwakingup 2 years ago
Once again I relate to everything in this video. I definitely feel possessed by demons and am going through some sort of healing process. Have you looking in Arthur Janov and Primal Therapy? I'm seeing a primal therapist right now with the hope that he will help me release my "toxins" since otherwise I'm not in a very unsupportive and misunderstanding environment.
mattiematrik 2 years ago
I have heard of it but know little about it. However, it seems to be in line with my stuff and transpersonal psychology.
bipolarorwakingup 2 years ago
dude, i love your videos!! thank you!
maladaca 2 years ago
What about mercury poisoning? I think everything is right. I feel that mercury poisoning could be some causes of bipolar.
seebistoo 2 years ago
Well, from the doctors that have healed the disorder, they all feel that the roots for most people are in the spiritual/emotional realm. Now, just like sleep deprivation or smoking ganja, maybe mercury poisoning is a trigger for some people, but I have no research on it.
bipolarorwakingup 2 years ago
I concur I'm for bipolar evolved state of the art bipolar facility's that help...
seebistoo 2 years ago
I have been psychotic and you are such a fool. Have YOU ever been PSYCHOTIC???It is NOt something to trigger in anyone. It could even be fatal. In fact one of these people who you so warmly make psychotic may turn and try and take YOUR life.what kind of a hero do you think you are?You CANT HEAL PSYCHOSIS. The only way to come down from it is medication. unless you want to be psycotic for a MONTH.
charliejazz64 2 years ago
Have I been in an acute psychosis? Um, yes. Have I taken people through periods of psychosis, without meds or hospitalization.
Um, yes. Can you heal psychosis. Yes. Do people 'come back' from psychosis unmedicated? With me, they do. Just thought you'd be interested. MY story is on my channel bipolarORrwakingUP.
bipolarorwakingup 2 years ago
I guess it's up to us then eh
emdtb2001 2 years ago
Amazing!!! you are on point and you're extremely right...I hope the few that have watched this video will use it to benefit themselves spiritually and live a productive life.
Reeltaulk 2 years ago
Thank you Reeltaulk. Seems I´ve been on-point a lot lately!!
bipolarorwakingup 2 years ago
Where´s the analysis? This is an inventory of what people actually experience. No mumbo jumbo.
bipolarorwakingup 2 years ago
Isnt this just another form of psychotherapy?
damn, i feel like im listening to a different form of freudian psychoanalysis....
Nades129 2 years ago
I have a friend who thinks she is the messiah. she is not on any meds. she has some of the symptoms this video describes. Her condition has lasted for several years now. Your episode was brief Sean. What is going on with my friend?
allforjesus22 2 years ago
a frend of me too, he has bipolar. Also skizophrene can do strange things.
24kvideo 2 years ago
I have no idea. I would have to talk to her. But feeling that you are the messiah of some kind is a very common 'symptom' which can be healed.
bipolarorwakingup 2 years ago
your videos are doing the world a great service.
a lot of people who can't afford expensive therapy treatment, and who for some reason don't have a lot of 'true' friends to talk to, resort to drugs, meaningless sex or suicide.
I myself was right over the ledge when I came across your work.
Thanks again for literally 'saving' my life. David Kim from Seoul, South Korea
hjk798 2 years ago 8
I agree with you David! and I'm wondering aside from these videos, what's your "therapy"? How do you get through the day to day -especially after such trauma?
precutes 2 years ago
If you are asking David Kim, I suggest going to his channel and sending him a message. He may not be following this thread.
bipolarorwakingup 2 years ago
good point. i don't know your whole story, but you really are in tune with what's really going on here. i have a story myself, which i won't get into. the one thing i'm trying to figure out now is what do i do after all of these starts and stops? i can only feel separate from this "reality" for so long, then i have to figure out how to live within it.
precutes 2 years ago
Hi, i thought it was comforting to hear that other people hear or sense angels and particularly demons, (its not just me) ive been recently sensing and hearing what i think are demons trying to get me to hurt myself, they must be demons if they want me to do bad things. at the time it doesnt eem that scary but when i snap back into reality i get very frightened, thanks, i just needed to tell someone
wessiesmessie 2 years ago
You´re welcome....Your demons are simply a manifestation of your fears. Just let them pass over you. They will do you no harm. The more you run away, the faster they will chase you! So simply stand still and accept.
bipolarorwakingup 2 years ago
Wow!! Amazing video. It captures so many feelings and thoughts that i have and desperately want to explain to people. But when I try, it's like trying to explain calculus in a language that doesn't exist. People always tell me to "get help so i can live a normal and happy life." But I like BP. It's the most exciting drugcoaster ride ever!! I would never want a boring average life. I'm just frustrated because I can't harness my emotions and express them. You have it down clearly. Thank you.
freshpants5 3 years ago
Thank you fresh pants! And don´t forget to see part two. Stay fresh!
bipolarorwakingup 3 years ago
I agree with you, the Schneiderian First-Rank Symptoms involving alien extrernal force are by far the most disturbing ones together with those involving angelic or demonic conspiracies...cosmic awareness or brain emulation of cosmic awareness???who knows?
kaltenbach16 3 years ago
I dreamed a word: kundalini. I don't know why. I am bipolar.
mestizomix 3 years ago
Slick video, bro :-)
SteveSlaughter1 3 years ago
I also thought I was crazy when I was younger because as soon as I was alone in a room I'd be overjoyed and start laughing uncontrollably for no apparent reason. But now it happens randomly, no matter what situation I'm in. It happened to me in class, except I managed to supress the laughter.. however, I started shaking and a smile was plastered to my face. I tried to hide it because I knew it must have looked horrific. No one ever believes me when I say it's possible to be TOO happy :\
xTommyGirlx 3 years ago
I had an experience where it felt as if time was moving twice the speed it usually does around me while usually I can slow time down.. I was so out of control.. freaky. D: oh, but I've also had an out of body experience, and I used to think I was part demon. I sometimes end up hurting myself though through self harm because that part of me.. it is almost sociopathic. what should I do?
xTommyGirlx 3 years ago
Very complete this one!!!
I was waiting for your new video since a while!!!
Thanks
highpolargirl 3 years ago
I´ve had a lot going on personally, but Part Two will be up in a week or two. I promise!
bipolarorwakingup 3 years ago
During my last mania, all I wanted was to go to a monastery and be guided by monks. Have you heard of monasteries being willing to help?
JenVlogsBPandAutism 3 years ago
Unfortunately, from what I´ve seen to far, monks don´t seem to get it either. I had a kundalini awakening a month ago at a meditation retreat and the people there were no help at all. I think the biggest problem is that monks are very disciplined people. Healing BP requires a very accepting approach and being allowed to express yourself freely does not mesh with the 'vow of silence' monastery style. However, transpersonaly psychologist, like Stan Grof and David Lukoff can help. See me blog
bipolarorwakingup 3 years ago
Wow! I really appreciate what you do. I have felt most all of the things you describe in mania. I once crawled out my bedroom window (where my family and P.doc were keeping me "safe" and hugged and loved and appreciated a beautiful and amazing (at the time) tree in my back yard. I feel wise and knowing during these times. I'm always stopped by fam and doc with meds and guilt about being "sane" for my children. IT SUCKS!
JenVlogsBPandAutism 3 years ago
i believe these words to be most wise n true, well expressed. One love x
createrainbowz 3 years ago
Thank You!
bipolarorwakingup 3 years ago
But I actually love the vid. Excellent work! Pictures are perfect, narration well done, and video well executed....a mixture of psychiatry, psychoanalysis (Freud), spirituality... the whole gammit.... nice. 5 stars, no less
MrsRobPilatus 3 years ago
Huh?
bipolarorwakingup 3 years ago
This is crazy Sean. Psychobabble, mumbo-jumbo, mixed in with a lot of truths... that's how they nab you tubers...
MrsRobPilatus 3 years ago
Continued: Once you're diagnosed, your friends and family will probably percieve your emotions and behavior differently: when you're happy, they think you're (hypo)manic and on your way to a psychosis; when you're sad, they think you're depressed and maybe suicidal; when you're angry (because of being misunderstood?), they call it aggressive and they may think they have to stop you from killing someone. But when you're like a zombie, a drugged flatliner, they are relieved; that to them is normal
odddom4 3 years ago 2
Notes for your next video: "Family secrets" - did you see the new version of my vid "7 generations Ott"? I added notes about some of the family secrets (1725-1945). "Violence + aggression": in my rages, my eyes would 'shoot fire' and my voice would sound demonic. Some of my (paranoid) friends projected their fears on me. They were sure I would kill someone, maybe myself. So they conspired to have me hospitalised, lying to the police and mental clinic. Which made my next rage even worse ofcourse.
odddom4 3 years ago
I saw one of your vids on your ancestry, but I´ll take a second look.
bipolarorwakingup 3 years ago
September '8, during my last psychotic episode: Conversation with God (note: I was raised anti-religion) ... To prove I finally took him seriously, I was to let go any fear and do the first think that would come in my mind (he challenged me). This was to strip naked and walk the street, have a normal conversation with the first person I would meet. Didn't even take my keys, so was locked outside. I did not feel shame and explained it to the psychiatrists who visited me. They could not arrest me.
odddom4 3 years ago
I need to talk more about the 'being tested by god' experience soon. Man, I have a lot of work to do Jan!
bipolarorwakingup 3 years ago
"...suppressed demon that needs to come out"
EXACTLY Sean
this has happened twice, and both times it was just too much to go through alone, but then again, if people are gonna watch you do it and get unsettled, that's not support, and doing it alone is the only other option. what a freakin dilemma.
and then when it goes from being a suppressed demon to a suppressed godly figure who uses your voice to speak to you, you get even more lost!
Artieful 3 years ago
Great insight Artieful, and, right now, it is a real, frustrating, dilemma. But at least you know that you are not alone in it. I think fear plays a huge role, not only for the person in crisis, but also the supporters. A video on that coming soon as well!
bipolarorwakingup 3 years ago
i'd like to think that my ultimate goal is becoming that godly figure and realizing that he's been the real me all along, but then i feel like i've lost the serendipity of it all or that there's something else i need to learn from this experience in some serendipitous way. Great videos anyhow, keep em comin :)
Artieful 3 years ago
I think that we pre-map out our lives and we really are god, but we are living all as normal people here for the sake of evolving through our experiences all for some greater purpose.
xTommyGirlx 3 years ago
What do you have to say about dellusions of grandeur normally associated with mania in even the milder forms? I have not had a psychosis, but for years, I have always gone through times when I am sure that I am going to save the world and then times when I feel like i am wasting the planet's food and water and am angry at myself for being so stupidly egotistical. Then all the sudden I feel super ridiculously important again and the cycle repeats. What is that about?
dreaminginnoother 3 years ago
I want to address 'delusions' ASAP. They probably will need an entire video just on that subject.
bipolarorwakingup 3 years ago
thanks. I would appreciate that very much. I will see it when you make it cause I am subbed. Great videos, thank you for your work.
dreaminginnoother 3 years ago
I have felt the same.
BrianKerr0013 3 years ago
YouTube: NEW WORLD ORDER..... I love these videos and there is more to the rabbit hole of all of this. :-)
PeaceLoveEternity 3 years ago
It really is a crap shoot. In indigenous cultures BP can be called the shamans sickness. The thing is 10 people get it. maybe only 3 come out of it healed & become shamans. the other 7, well, they just stay crazy... their is no equanimity in nature. evolution can be an unforgiving process. Letting BP ride its course can be a very dangerous proposition. I wouldn't have it any other way. I relish the danger. I got stories that would make the hair stand on the back of your head ;)
crazedmystic 3 years ago
At Diabasis, John Perry´s clinic, when people came in dignosed with acute schizophrenia, they healed 85% of the time - provided that they had been unmedicated. His book is on my blog. Soteria House had similar results. Its not the crapshoot everyone thinks it is.
bipolarorwakingup 3 years ago
Wow, I'm checking those places out. I've been free-rangeing this whole expirence. I've been too jail, the mental ward a couple times, & homeless... I haven't hurt anyone (except myself), & I guarantee I never will. It's funny when I'm really peaking I am overcome with this extreme sense of creative altruism that effects all the people around me. Your site is awesome..
crazedmystic 3 years ago
Wow, Sean. Good to have you back. I have experienced some of this, though not all. I seem to experience more dissociations than delusions. I was ceserean birth but not sure how much that really affected me. I know there is some trauma, which compounds a complex creative force. I have just found icarus project and will send you a link. The metaphor is apt in that we have to fly, it's a great power, but not too close to Sun. Our culture and traumas compound this.
ozjthomas 3 years ago
I know Icarus project and actually have a 'withdraw from meds book' of theirs on my blog reading list. Wow Oz, 54 views and only 1 comment so far. I think I´ve hit forbidden territory.
bipolarorwakingup 3 years ago
I only just am watching it for the first time, but the subject sounds fairly taboo, indeed.
I'm enjoying it but I think it might be too "real" for most people to have anything to comment on... if it was Britney Spears or Wardrobe Malfunction, then you'd get tons of comments by now :).
No worries, though, I think you should keep making vids and I was actually looking forwards to this since the last one, long ago.
I'll let you know what I think when I finish watching it in its entirety.
bajan13k 3 years ago
It can also be because people want to think about it first, or they're simply waiting for part 2. I want to watch this video a couple of times and digest it first before I comment on it! One thing I can tell you already: I love it!!!
odddom4 3 years ago