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From: moxy14
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  • im bulimic

  • sad but true...

  • This is so sad.

    Feel so sorry for Bulimic people.

    Just try your very best.

    And I am NEVER gonna try puke after eating no matter how fat I am.

    Its kind of gross!

    God help you.

  • If this is supposed to make Girls understand Bulimia, than why are you showing a bunch of girls with perfect bodies? All I think is hmmm they seem in pain... bit if I looked like them I sure wouldn't.

  • @emlycrnsh thats terrible i have a good friend in the hospital and she is suffering from this I don't want another person in the world to suffer it makes me sad!(im 10 and i dont want to become sick)

  • This is stupid.

  • a couple years ago I would say to people why would someone make themselves throw up to feel pretty, they should control themselves other ways... I thought it was the stupidest thing in the world. my mother and sister always worry about there weight and a couple months ago I started making myself throw up I thought it was gonna be a one time thing but I can't stop! even if I feel stressed that's my way to cope.

  • this is so sad how so many people suffer themself, me inculed,

    hear me cry, soon to die

    The suffering me

    Hid up inside,

    Its hard to see past my inasent smile

    you think im s normal person,

    till you find out my secret that will probley be the cause of my death,

    thats when u loose your friend, No one understands

  • @blackbubblegum2 stand in the rain- superchick

  • Song name?

  • what is this song?

    

  • Poetry for the Soul by Dawn Ciccone Little Girl, lost to me innocent eyes…frozen in time Gentle soul, wise beyond her years so vibrant…so loving - come back to me Free spirit, you looked to me for freedom, guidance and love Did I let you down? Innocent eyes…turn hollow orbs. She stripped you of all that you are From gentle spirit to tortured soul… carefree years turn dark and lonely. Trapped in a self-centered cell to be everything she wanted and nothing but Never a little girl.
  • What is the song?

  • Yea, this was stupid. Thanks for a bunch of random pictures.

  • Comment removed

  • yea sure show thin people. the only thing thats going to do is make us feel worse. even the peopple who looked sad were thin. yea thats going to make everyone feel better being compared to the pretty people

  • I have lived this and am still haunted by the shadows, but there IS HOPE. I wrote a book, POETRY FOR THE SOUL, by Dawn Ciccone that has poems about ED's and our pain. I hope you find inspiration in it:) On Amazon!

  • I dont suffer bulimia but i do suffer anerxia and Im not ready to stop... im only 15 5'10 and ive been doing this to myself for 2 years. I sometimes think i wont ever see myself thin..

    Just remmeber if anyone needs to talk and no ones there the lord is and he'll listen.

    I also cut when people try to make me eat, sucks but for some reason i love seeing the weight melt off and the scale numbers go down.

  • 1:40 why is she wearing a belt with no pants..?

  • It kills me when I realize that Bulimia has stayed with me for this long. I've relapsed 6 times this past year. It's hard but my motivation to recover remains. I will get over this and make my those around me proud. My boyfriend has always stuck by me like an aid to my illness. This will have a happy ending, I'm certain of it :)

  • People who want to be anorexic -

    I am 15, average height, I lost a lot of weight when I got sick, and people started to call me anorexic.. It was awful, the emotional and physical pain of an anorexic is indescribable, you can't just recover in a blink of an eye, it can take up to months, even years to recover, yet some people don't. So don't wish to be thinner, accept yourself.

  • I am 15 i usually maintain a weight of about 95 pounds but recently i've gained i now weigh 105. i hate it i felt fat so i started purging and i feel bad about it but i don't want to stop. i want to be the smallest in my school. i just want to be pretty. and i don't feel like i am..

  • @danimccoyxd depends on how tall you are, too. if you play sports, your muscle can contribute greatly to your weight gain and there is absolutely nothing wrong with muscle weight gain. However, if it is fat and you know that you gained weight through anxiety over your physical looks by eating more, I wish you luck with that struggle because you'll definitely need professional help from potential later years of bulimia. you WILL yoyo with your weight if you don't get your head fixed now.

  • @danimccoyxd p.s. thinner is not prettier. healthy, shapely (with muscle tone) energetic, and vibrant is! I'm not saying that fat is pretty because it isn't! HEALTHY.

  • Stand in the rain by superchick ;D

  • whats the song??

  • nobody seems

    to realize-or care-

    if you're fat/chubby/plump,

    youcan still be bulimic

  • does anybody know what song this is?

  • One of the worst things about bulimia is that it's pretty much impossible to explain how terrible to is to people who don't have it...

  • I'm 16 and I'm 5'1-5'2 and I used to be Mia and Ana! But then my mom found out and made me stop, plus I wanted to get better!=\ I've been in recovery for almost a month now. I think I'm gonna have a fallout soon because last week I weighed myself, and I weighed 125!!=( I used to weigh 110!! Fuck I'm fat now!=((

  • I can help youu *didn't look at your name on here, sorry/:* I binge&purge, I have stopped eating, my gag reflex doesn't work to great or I'd be bulimic. My aunt weighed very little and I watched her do it..I fell in love with being skinny. I was 14 years old weighing in at 65 pounds. I used to spar professionally around the us. Last time I did it was for Brazilian Jiu-jitsu. In las vegas. Now I'm 16 years old and look like a pig. I weigh 120 and I'm disgusted with myself. I turn around the mirr

  • People say i am Anerexic and bluimic... but i only eat smallportions and only healthy food. im still fat no matter what. last time i was weighed i was 126lbs at the age of 12. i just want to loose weight. im becoming vegetatrian to see if that would help loose weight and also i saw a disturbing video 

  • eating disorders doesn'n only destroy your body... they destroy your heart and your soul. about half of my life I'm living with bulimia and anorexia, now, I still remember when it started... first, i lost only 20 pounds, but then I hungered my body down to 70 pounds. It's a f*cking pain, no one but yourself could save you from and if you're already underweight, please search for a good rehab. Good Luck!

  • Ugh I hate my life so much. No one likes me, my face and body are  soooo fucking revolting u have no idea. I have no one ;( I lost all my friends! I'm 15 and I miss having someone to talk to so much. I wanna be skinny so bad, I'm addicted to so many bad things that make me feel better, and I just want to end it all. But I can't...

  • @juicyjujubean14 every girl is beautiful just "stay strong" and positive dont let no one get you down, keep pushing cause in the end it will all be worthwhile.

  • Wow.. I cant believe im one of them.. I jus keep telling myself its just one time.. and then over and over.. its one last time.. it wont happen again.. But i still do it :/ im afraid to tell my family cuz they knew i did it and i told them so i stopped.. and now im back.. idk what to do ;/

  • @sexymisexy look at yourself in the mirror the next time you want to purge and tell your reflection that you're already beautiful.

  • I dont know when I will stop.... I dont think I will. I need to do it more. I am too fat. I am loosingthe strength to do it most of the time. I am weak.

  • @paleogal555 if you know you have a problem,seek for a solution,not another problem

  • Im 12 ,130lbs , 5'1 . Ik im chunky okay??xD And i have a boyfriend, you dont need to be skinny to have one. But im so glad I didnt become a victom of a ED . Im very srry for all the ppl that did though . Have hope , your not alone . Be yourself and your inner beauty will show <3 Get better <3

  • if you want some fantastic tips have a look at the WhyNotStopSuffering channel on youtube - it talks about using the same motivation that causes bulimia to regain control

  • @mandysue90 Thanks for the info. I watched this video thinking that it would help me somehow. It had the opposite effect. This should be titled "Thinspiration" or "Why I throw up".

  • @pocketsofhoney totally agree. this video is the biggest trigger, it's like posting a video saying 'about obesity' and posting 50 photos of fatty food, because that's not going to make you hungry at all..

  • I still remember the first time, leaning over the toilet, and purging, for what seemed like forever, and how I felt so powerful, and kept doing it. And, after a while, I stopped eating, but still purged, and my family didn't know. Until I started looking, diff. My bones started showing, and I still can't stop.

    It is killing me, and my parents want to hospitalize me, but no matter what, I feel the same way.

  • This is not "the reality" this is just thinspo. 

  • I'm not ready either, my family is noticing my ED and they want me to get help. But I don't know what to do..

  • I sense a lot of bloated whale women here.

    Anyway, to the point. All you women seem to do is whine whine whine. “Oh it’s a disorder”. Yeah, aw, boo hoo, the fact remains…there are millions of us out here who will constantly remind you that gotta lose that fat. Thin is beautiful, May you continue to realize it.

    Now, get nice and skinny for us ;)

  • @DrinkFromMyThickDick Fuck u! u are so fucking retarded and i hope you die!

  • Let me put it this way, if you're 14 and up, and you're still not fitting into juniors, you've got a problem!

  • when you first purge on purpose are you officially bulimic? because i have a couple times but i dont thinkkk it has dont anything to me...yet. i kno i shouldnt but my image of myself is making me go crazyy...

  • @0013friday00 In order to be classified as a bulimic you need to have 2 or more binge purge sessions a week for over 3 months I believe. But if you are purging purposely do get help even if you dont have the exact criteria. I wish I had gotten help when I only purged every once in a while. Now I can't keep any thing down except 20 cal soup because hte cumpulsion is too big and its very addictive. Get help while it's still easy to fix.

  • @msmarissa909 thanxxx for letting me kno. be stronggg i hope you can beat it. i'll try to stop, too.

  • @0013friday00

    No, you are not bulimic. But maybe you are on very good way to become one. So run away from that and learn to love yourself, cause you are more beautiful now then you will ever be as bulimic. Even in your eyes or in the mirror.

    Later it is all much harder. And you need less strength to stop now then you would need later. Please talk to someone to help you to look at yourself in a different way.

    Believe me, it is much harder later. So stop now.

  • @TheAna034 thank youu, it means a lot

  • @0013friday00

    I really hope it does. If you know somebody with this ED talk to him/her. That one can frighten you very much. What I ment is maybe you do not have to go to the therapist, you can talk to someone you trust. But if you have doubts you go and talk to the psychologist.

    I've had it for almost 12 years,I've been recovering for more then 1 year, still not recovered. And maybe I will never be. Some people claim this is life long disease. I really hope they are wrong. You don't need that!

  • @TheAna034 thanxx very much. i realllllly hope you recover! stay strong, i kno you can beat it. just follow your own advice. it seems like it will reallly help

  • @0013friday00 thanks :) good luck! If you need someone to talk to just message me. Trust me I understand how hard it is.

  • @msmarissa909 your welcome and thank youu! you'll probably be an awesome help haha

  • UGH, is all I have to say. "Oh, I'm so fat! I hate myself!" YOU'RE PRETTY MUCH A FUCKING STICK FIGURE. SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO ON WITH YOUR LIFE

  • Mia has already claimed my life for her. Ive had bulima for 2 and a half years and my arms are completely covered top to bottom with cuts / scars. im only 17. I will never be cured and no one can save me at this point. Death seems so peaceful to me. Better than living this hell.

  • what is this song?

  • @AAUchamp55 The song is Stand in the Rain by Superchic[k]

  • @AAUchamp55  I was wondering the same thing

  • MIA = Missing in action

  • I just wanted to say that men also suffer from bulimia. I'm a 39 year old guy that suffers with bulimia. I started when I was 16, and still deal with it today. I just recently relapsed.

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  • when people refer to bulimia or anorexia nervosa as "ana" and "mia" it is extremely disrespectful. To all of you girls out there who think it will be fun to have an eating disorder, and you'll just be thin and happy: get out now. these diseases will eat away at your life and make you more miserable and desperate than you could ever imagine. It will rob you of your friends, kill your personality. You won't like anything anymore, even books or music, because all you will be is your sickness.

  • I really am fat though :( And i've tried working out soooo much, i play a lot of sports, but i'm still a lard ass. I started doing this last week and it doesnt make me feel any better, but now i don't think i can stop.

  • The song is stand in the rain by Superchic[k]

  • U never truly recover from bulimia i started throwing up working out non stop taking diet pills n pills to go to d restroom @ age 14 im 20 now after being hospitalized for 3 moths...i use to weigh 130 my fresman yr of hs n lost 20lbs in 3 weeks...last yr when my bf found ne laying on d FLOOR... took me to d hospital d doctors cldnt BELIEVE i weighed 72lbs!!!!!! Im slowly getting better but i still find myself throwing up at times n i feel like a monster cuz i still like d FAT KID dat every body

  • Whats the song???

    And I was on my way to having an eating disorder, just by the simple wanting to lose weight and went on a major crash diet and over exercised, then the death of my great gran happened and I didnt want to eat anymore, and began to self harming!

    My friends helped me stop this bad habit before it had a chance to progress, but this stage in my life 4 years back, never ever ever fails to haunt me!

  • what's the name of this song?

    I have anorexia.... it feels so bad when i am thinking about it...

    IT FUCKS YOUR LIFE!

  • I am 55 and started with bulimia at age 13. Don't waste the beauty you have inside and out now, because you will turn around, 10, 20, 30 years later and see that you ARE, WERE and will ALWAYS be beautiful. So much time I wasted thinking I was ugly, fat, selfish, weird, not good enough. It took an accident to see myself:) I love you - please love yourself...I know it is not easy.

    Dawn Go to utube The Tragedy That Was My Gift.

  • @sunflowerdc wow, I am so sorry to hear how long you have been sick with bulimia. It is however a very good message that you are sending out and so very true, I wish these girls could see themselves in a more posistive way. Take care of yourself. Liz

  • i have bulimia nervosa...now "mia"...how disrespectful to use a nickname for a deadly disease, ignorance. all of it.

  • @sugar735 Sorry, I dont think so. Most of people with Bulimia is ashamed of this condition. I had bulimia as well, and now I write a blog about it. "MIA" is not just a nick name, but a way to talk about it, with out feeling the whole judgment from others. Not everyone knows what "MIA" is.

    You shouldn't worry about the name or nickname given to it. The only thing that matter now, is if the people are looking for help more than before.

  • beautiful song) i like it)

    Stand In The Rain Lyrics - Superchick

  • what is this song called?

  • what is the name of the song (like it) :D

  • what is the name of the song (like it) :D

  • what a pointless video. how is this about bulimia? (yes, I am bulimic)

  • @LeaYdwI i second that

  • i had bulimia a few months ago. my friends found out and kept telling me to stop but i couldent. after a while i got stomach problems and such and my parents took me to a doctor were he told them i hhad bulimia. i have finnished recovery but go to my therapist and nutricionist every week. i feel so much better!! :D

  • @molera2 I am so very proud of you great job. I am glad to hear you are doing much better. Take care

  • being thin isn't whats important, you should focus on being healthy and happy above all else.

    Healthy body, healthy mind. If you go starving yourself, or eating then just puking it right back out, you won't be happy even if you look absolutely perfect.

  • 5 months ago, I went to this video, and posted 2 comments. At that point, I was working in my recovery from bulimia. I had enough. I worked alone on recovering, only my best friend knew about my struggle. I never really got that deep into bulimia in the first place, but after 1 month of not purging, i relapsed. It took me another month to get back on track. I've now been purge free for 3 months, and.. staying on the right track is so difficult right now. Recovery is possible, it will be tough.

  • @ChakraSakura U WILL DO IT! :) I hope, so will I somewhen

  • @ChakraSakura it is very hard and when some1 has alamost no support has u its even harder i know wht im talking about bc i lived with anorexia during 2 years but fortunaly i had towns of support but even with tht it was so paintfull. im here to support u if i did it u can do it as well whenver u need im here. do u wanna know my experience with anorexia ? tell me ur real WEIGHT and HEIGHT no more LIES ?

  • what is the song ?

  • @hottieccat ur right, i feel exactly the same

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  • @Hottieccat- I couldn't agree more. I start and stop so unlike other bulimics, im in control.

  • @VampirPrincessSquidy U r not! believe me a long time ago I thought the same...

  • @VampirPrincessSquidy you are not in control, you are out of control. It take a whole lot of control to fight EDS, and recover then to stay ill

  • people try to make these videos hoping it will scare people or make them see that they need to be better... for me it just makes me want to do it more. just saying

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  • @elibeth121 bulimics don't lose weight they are trying to keep it! and well I'm a bulimic and I know all that stuff..the risks..everything but I CAN'T STOP! It's a cycle!

  • I'm sure I come off as an A-hole, I'm not trying to. I'm just trying to understand what they're thinking ( IF they ARE thinking...)

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  • I have had bulimia since I was 11. It sucks. Especially when nobody even notices.

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  • I've suffered from both ANA and MIA.As much as I want it to end,I always relaspeat some point.It's hell,and I wish I never saw myself as fat.Now my body has problems registering that I need food,or water,even though I am at a healthy weight now,it's a constant battle.Never think you're too big,or that weight makes you ugly.You become someone you are ashamed to look at in the mirror every day.

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  • I have bulimia and Im 15. Ive been doing it for 7 months now.

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  • i wish i was nothing but AIR... and i weigh 92 pounds i 13 and its till isnt EOUGH!

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  • @elibeth121 death doesnt scare me. my life is pretty fucken horriable right noww and i dont see it getting better..

  • @bellybuttonhairr for the love of god dont ever give up on life, its something very precious, but its nothing wrong with not being afraid of death. ur life can change plz dont give up

    boomcc1

  • @boomcc1 but have youu ever been in such deep love the person is all u think about all you want, all u want for the rest of yur life? think about how happy u are with tht person think about the goosebumps u get wen ur around them think about the feeling when they kiss yu. now think about how they have to move far away think about how heatbroken u feel think about how u feel like ur worth nothing without tht person.... yahh the love of my life is gone i made her my everything now shes gone!

  • @bellybuttonhairr it is enough, you just cant find the control you need to stop this until you go into recovery

  • @elibeth121 :/ i guesss your right... i do need to stop.

  • i have a question

    if you are bulimic can u ever stop? or do u jst start vomitting naturally after every meal?

  • @KookieLips1010 Depends how serious you have ulimia and how long. The seriouser it gets the harder it becomes to hold your food in, eventually it starts to be automatic. Your body after eating reacts by purging. Even when you want to keep the food inside you can't control it. I'm 15 and I have had bulimia for over a year now, I am now starting to have trouble trying to contain food inside me. I don't have to make myself purge so often now, my body immediatly gets rid off the food. I hate it

  • @94hazie o im so sorry but thank u 4 telling me im 15 too and ive purged about 3 times now and i kept telling my self that i would just do it 4 like a week but i got scared and i jst wanted to find out wat would happen if i did so thank u

    and i really do hope u get better im starting to understand now that this is not something to b taken lightly especially with all the videos ive watched

  • @KookieLips1010 You can stop,but it's very hard.Not because your body immediately forces it all out,it doesn't at first.You eat until you feel sick and then you purge,as in,make yourself thow up.After a while,your body starts to regect food.It's not a fun recovery.And with both ANA,and MIA,you're always at risk of relapsing,doing it again.It's a lifelong disease in my opninion.I'll never be able to look in the mirror and not worry about another relapse.

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  • @KookieLips1010 no when they eat they make them self throw up after

  • i know how that feels... i've been bulimic for about a year now because i went through a lot of drama ever since i started high school and most of my friends went so hard on me... and it also depresses me with all the pain i've been suffering...

  • I have bulimia and im 14 also.

  • Please dont be afraid of food or think youre "not perfect." I'm telling people this as a person that knows, theres no such thing as perfection. I had anorexia and i almost had bulimia, I was striving for perfection. I'm recovered so if anyone needs to talk... im here

  • @depressedcutter999 Im glad you said that. I need a boost Im scared I made myself threw up today and never stopped from 1:30-3:20 I lost some weight because people at school dont wanna be my friend because im fat any advice?

  • @TheAbbiexD hunny im sure you're not fat! trust me i was never truly fat my body and ''ana'' told me that i was. and its doing the same to you. you are beautiful on the inside and thats what matters.

  • @depressedcutter999 Thanks :)

  • The reality is you are causing yourself to gain weight. When you throw up your body shuts down and goes into a"save" mode. The metabolism slows to conserve calories, because it doesn't know how long it will have them. The body starts consuming muscle and it gets replaced with fat. So now, even if you eat less, you will gain weight. I've been there. Try to eat more greens, drink more water and don't purge. When the urge comes on, write, dance, go for a walk...anything but purge. It WILL pass.

  • nutritionalhealthcoach com

  • @depressedcutter999

    I really want to talk.. i have bulimia i have it since i was 13 and i am now 17 but no one helped me and i found ot 1 month ago i have this. But the thing is am a smart girl and i want to get help and i tell people around me but the controll of eating is stronger, i eat so much in hours. And i feel so unhappy i cry so much. But i dont puke up after i eat, instead i have to burn fat like dancing bellydance.. or something else. I want to be happy again.. :(

  • @MonaTheBellydancer you can talk to me anytime, i promise i will reply. im helping a lot of people so im usually on to help people. what you have is not mia (bulimia) , its ana, you eat and eat but you have to work it off. what i had was ana but i didnt eat i just worked out until i almost died.

  • I used to say I could never make myself throw up because "I hate throwing up", I ment it, I just didn't stick to it

  • im anorexic and....i could NEVER make myself throw up.....then again,i also promised myself alot of things.....

  • i have bulimia and it started when a boy that i really liked called me fat i think i am fat im 170 at the age 11 and its not working i am not 120 and i am still fat i hate myself and i hate what i look like

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  • ive been bulimic on/off for 6yrs

  • 1:42 is like my body. luv this vid. :)

  • Its weird, I always read these girls saying "I weigh only 89 pounds, 100 pounds, xx pounds because of Bulimia!"

    I was bulimic. I gained nearly 15 pounds. Its only gotten harder.

  • i had bulimia but i stopped i was 5 8 and i was only 90 pounds

  • I'm not ready to quit bulimia and I know its hurting my mom she says if I don't stop ill get sent to a special rehab but I don't care I'm just not ready to stop

  • @partygirl2470 Well when you are going to be ready to stop, when your heart fails te first time or second

  • @partygirl2470 Going into rehab is a choice to fight back and get your life back. Through individual therapy you can gain a healthy self esteem and learn posistive way to cope with distress and strong feelings. Remind yourself what a healthy weight is for, it is for your body. Identify youself.Although you do not feel like you want to recover , you absolutely can and you deserve it. Counselors change your body image and the way you think about yourself. It is nothing to be afraid of

  • my school sings this song all the time, I was shocked when I saw it on this vid! Nice video, btw :)

  • this is like the perfect song for this video

  • This video was made with a lot of heart and the best intentions, I am sure, but I have just one critique: you have made a video encouraging help for those suffering from bulimia and then filled it with pictures of very skinny girls, with no indication that this was a bad thing. Maybe I am just being sensitive, but seeing so many lovely skin-and-bones does not seem to be encouraging people to 'get better'. Is this skinniness not the point of it all?

  • Sometimes the truth hurts bitch. You yourself are offended by what I have said haha. Being offended by something this would grant a field day for my Drill Sergeants in the Army! Besides your probably sone bulemic 14 year old anyway.

  • bulemic people are pussies. the thought of throwing up makes me wanna throw up. but yes. only acceptable time to use bulemia. you have spat all the spit outta your body, lost all the weight you can without bulemia and are still a couple ounces or a pound over the weight limit for a wrestling weight class. i.e. you wrestle 189 and you are 189.3. puke if you want but let it be a lesson.

  • @darklion53 Fuck you. Like you have a right to say such hurtful things to anyone.

    learn manners and grow up jerk.

  • so how do i lose weight fast....i think i'm depressed

  • @darthzeppid You never should lose weight fast, if should be gradual and only if you really need it.

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  • @lisabella255 ty!love sa song great vid ty 4 explaing bumila i hate gettin picked on 4 it:(

  • wht song is dis!?

  • @dragonfairycharms1 its by superchick stand in the rain

  • i have always had thoughts about going anorexic or bulmic. but i'm a fat ass i need to eat. but i still have erges to go that way...

  • but all those girls in the pictures are beautiful. no matter if they feel it or not they are and it sucks bc i they dont see it, and i would do anything to be them.

  • i do it cuz im scared when my bf meets me 4 the 1st time (i moved and my cousin called me and introduced us and we talked forever and weve been dating for 4 months now) that he wont like me. im NOT saying that im too fat or too skinny....im....like.....eh. But my grandmom made me start also cuz she picks on us (cousins) if we r not skinny. i need 2 be skinny b4 june...

  • @Invisablexoxoxo and im 13 going on 14

  • it´s "stand in the rain" from super(s)chick.

  • Sometimes I make myself throw up. I'm worried.

  • @Deathtoevilcelebs Stop it while you can...I thouht I could control it...And now I vomit 2-3 times a day...

  • @draganarihanna You can get better with help, please get help

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  • This is just triggering :/ I know it's supposed to be helpful. It's just kind of bad.

  • this video is totally useless.

    it's only a collection of pictures.

  • The sad thing is I realize how bad for it is for you but the more i know the more i cant help but to do it. Do you think maybe im slowing killing my self?? I think deep down I do but i can't stop. I want kids not now i'm only 16 but in the future. But I don't think i want to be around long enough to get that chance, I don't think i will be around this eating disorder is killing me and no one knows it.