DEREK & CLIVE. THE WORST JOB I EVER HAD.

[nortonius]

I gather I wouldn't.

[robwebb34]

'post hocta proc' that's wha' i' is in Latin ;)

[thedaviduk]

be fay-er be fay-er

[bagwain]

Been after this shit for ages. try listening when bong up. pissed myself laughing so many times in my 20's O I wish I was back then!!

[MrKurtKnopfler]

never eatin lobsters again.....lmao

[chubbylilloser85]

I like the bit where he used the word 'cunt'

[NostalgicSolutions]

You Cunt!

[BigFatSissy]

The last days of glorious, trouble-making comedy.



[billyconnearly]

Now - when it all boils down to it - be fair - be fuckin' reasonable.....As far as I can see Tony Newley was a cunt - he could have been Mr Nice Guy but - and I say this advisedly - he was a 100% pure - unadulterated cunt and he shagged Joanwhatsername! Eh? Whatsername? Fuckin Collins , mate that's what her fuckin' name was - Joan Collins - she fucked Tony fuckin' Newley until his cock bled!!!

[MrMrCv]

I tell you one thing Tony Newley said to me

What was that?

Who are you? Yeh, Just like that?

[skyclaw441]

@memepoolshark Oh, excuse me, "up the arsehoel". ;)

[Blokecameuptome]

tits damaged maybe..but her being decapitated was a myth

[lulusthong]

i think the lobsters got quite a nip out of it........ :)

[Professor6871]

@lulusthong That's kid one from Dudley there.

[dobbsiancant]

Jayne Mansfield was Marihka Hartigay's (Law & Order SVU) mum.She was decapitated in a car accident...Jayne not Mariska.A sweet girl none-the-less.Sensitive.

[ironman5454]

@dobbsiancant Actually, she had been wearing a wig at the time of the accident,On lookers saw the wig outside of the car and thought it was her head.The decapitation story was later corrected.I had an old great aunt who used to buy 'The Enquirer' back then. These rags (as they were called) came out with all sorts of bizarre and gruesome stories, 'shocking' headlines, I remember looking at the front page of one these and seeing the picture of the car wreck and reading she was decapitated.

[bigroo84]

Comma toes d

[NunoCartino]

Can't beat pissed up, pointless, bullshit stories 

[iwontshareyouify]

@NunoCartino

mate this derek and clive is so fucking hilarious to me because everyone in my area talks like this ie crap

[skyclaw441]

"She suffered from what was known in the medical trade as "lobsters up the asshole". XDDD

[MegaSpudgun]

i once had to pull a turnip out of my fat girlfriends arsehole. the fucking dirty cunt!!

[suziethewoozie]

Comatose to her head...... fucking genius!!

[SSCFPA]

Godlike Genius

[dutchmuzza]

cunt

[TheOdderOne]

you can say that again, cunt

[billyconnearly]

I !!!... was the poor stupid twat that had to go round AFTER they had finished with Jayne - and the fluid! and general detritus that was left after they had done their job of retrievin' Lobsters was something-fuckin else! AND I was paid the minifuckinmumwage

[feedmecoolshit]

cunt

[alexb618]

you fucking cunt

[dpenry]

what a pair of fuckin cunts.

[Gopher42]

@dpenry Who you callin` cunt, cunt???

[garmyste]

i enjoy love making while listening to this shit

[steveuk17]

I once spent a splendid fortnights holiday in the Greek resort of Lobsterissimuss Bummerkissumuss. Mind you the seafood had a strange,musky aftertaste !! (8OB)

[clairez007]

you fuckers can all laugh but I had the same job but with Mr Russel Grant!

[CuntFinderChaos]

fucking LOL

[adorant]

don't test any longer

[SPUNKGIVER]

are they still performing ?

[steveoplacebo]

no you fool his been dead for years ffs lol

[BobbinsMahony]

...what Tony Newly said to me.. "Who are you?"

[awmh]

Great stuff. Any chance of putting the rest of the Album on?

[TheSpudofToday]

these guys are legends and this is my fav sketch of theirs

[flappospammo]

more talent in their fucking corpses than a loser like you could ever fucking dream of