Barack Obama Father's Day reply - INVOLUNTARY fatherlessness

[maaruz1979]

great video, man. actually what obama was doing was using black men as fodder to pander to conservative whites for votes- like a two-bit whore

[elevatemaui]

THANK YOU, Steve!

[derekeddy]

Its is just a tragedy that the states give women the right to hurt their children and emotionally deprive the children of their fathers. I go through this on a daily as my son's mother conveniently is never home when I go to pick him up at scheduled times. Often she calls and says that he will not be going with me & just hangs up. The courts will not punish her. They are of the mind that to punish her is to punish the child. I guess its OK to punish my son by depriving him of his father.

[F4J4il]

Bravo.

[stealth99]

this video needs more views.

[elevatemaui]

@stealth99 AGREE

[HARVESTDAY]

From a BM, thanks so much for this steve66oh. They've been scapegoating BM for yrs. So much so, I believed it until I started looking into the stonewalling, rigged refuted stats designed by Women's Studies organizations on College Campuses, inciting this Misandry in order to keep getting major funding. And unfair Family Courts. This is definitely a MAN issue, irregardless of color. I'm just bone tired of being scapegoated while women are coddled. Thanks again Bruh.

[southperth22]

marleen 51 - you are so right. it is an outrage how fathers are treated in this country........i want to see my kids but have no way of paying to fight this through the system as she (mom) moved outy of state.

FATHERS HAVE NO RIGHTS IN AMERICA ...

obama....what are you going to do about it.......probably nothing.

and just blame all men.

it is totally unfair and has ripped many mens hearts out.

[bbvivertube]

There are many fathers in the african american community who are not only taking care of their children but acting as stepfather, or mentor to the children of others. Obama was out of line with his fathers day speech. HE has a psychological scar from the abandonment of his own AFRICAN dad that he apparently intends to take out on African American DAds. If a politician isn't serious about good public policy to help dads be in their kids lives, he should shut up with the public chastisement.

[Xycopixie]

um, dude I understand what you're saying but Obama obviously is not speaking to your situation; this vid is a little misdirected.

oh and BTW divorce laws were developed at a time when women didn't have much financial opportunities and gender roles were very strong so it isn't really a government conspiracy to push for divorces- the laws are just outdated.

[steve66oh]

Pixie, I agree with you on both points: 1)Obama is not talking about devoted dads forced out of familes - my complaint is that Obama is ignoring this problem, and 2) I don't say this is a DELIBERATE conspiracy, just that the laws now ACT as a divorce incentive.

(but, read Kate Millet, "Sexual Politics" 2.3, 1969 for her description of family as the patriarchal unit from which patriarchal society is built. Or read Karl Marx for his declaration that the concept of "family" should be abolished)

[simon6071]

Almost 70 percent of black children are born to single mothers. 80 percent of teen moms will depend on welfare within the first five years after giving birth.

Just some facts for you to think about on paying child support.

[steve66oh]

Simon, not sure I understand why you posted this comment, but...

Democrats have always talored their essages to specific groups, which is why they often speak to closed assemblies. One day, to social workers: "I'm for work opportunity, more jobs in that factory there" - next day, to the union at that (same) factory: "I'm for protecting your jobs, closed shop, yeah!" - next day, to Greens: "I'm for closing that dirty (same) factory there". Dem strategy: DIVIDE AND CONQUER (also family policy)

[kladykm]

I must say you make good sence

as a married mother of one child

THIS IS NOT FARE TO MANY MEN/WOMEN!

I hear this all the time but like you

said no one is talking about this.

KUDO TO YOU FOR SPEAKING FOR MANY

[triciagirl18]

He is so right. I know alot of men who want to be more involved with their kids, but they can't.

[wavaso]

I think the state should revise the law.

[BfSkinnerPunk]

The problems with inner city absentee dads probably has nothing to do with your situation.

The inner city "men" *and* women almost EXPECT that child birth is the prelude to a breakup.

You could almost say that it has become an inner city tradition or expectation.

When I walk into an inner city school and have meetings with parents, I usually don't bother to ask about "dad".

Even when I do ask, they answer as if I asked if they live with Brad Pitt!

[steve66oh]

But Barack wasn't speaking on "Black Fatherless Day" - His message, "too many fathers are absent", applies to all absent fathers except the few who are unfit. But his solution misses half of the problem - in the same way that Lincoln's Emancipation missed poll taxes and literacy tests and oppressive districting.

Solving inner city fatherlessness is part of the solution, but ONLY part.

[steve66oh]

Obama speaks for 1:15 before he mentions the A-A community. "We are called to recognize how critical EVERY father is to that foundation... You and I know this is true everywhere."

My complaint is that while speaking of "every [absent] father", he says "..they've abandoned their responsibilities, they're acting like boys instead of men." I OBJECT! I am absent, but I did not abandon, I was FORCED OUT, disempowered, invalidated, marginalized, excluded, denigrated.

[debrahoj]

You've got a point. I hope things are better for you. You're right. Its not fair!

[stperkin]

Excellent point! I hope senators and the president elect hear this point how can we tell them?

[mkordy]

Good for you....I am in the midst of a custody battle in Canada. same crap happens to fathers in both US and Canada. I am hoping Barack can step up to the plate on this one, and also introduce change in the way the femminist movement has influenced family law in the US and Canada.

[mbwathe]

I felt that Obama was more so addressing future fathers, rather then the current child-care or child-support system. One doesn't need to be living in the home to be a good Dad. They just to need voluntarily be involved.

[steve66oh]

Bill Clinton said, as quoted by Bruce Reed in the 1/22/2002 "DLC Blueprint Magazine", that "When fathers pay their child support, they rediscover a connection that they and their children desperately need". Curious that as a dad, he forgot to mention the connection he has with Chelsea despite making NO support payments for her.

[steve66oh]

OK. Then would you say that one need not vote to be a voter, one just needs to WANT to vote? Or that women don't need a college education, they just need to WANT one? Or that gays don't need to marry, they just need to WANT to marry? In talk radio, would you accept a "Fairness Doctrine" that gives access to airwaves to opposing voices - just 4.5 days a month? Some "DNA donors" lack the desire to parent, but many dads just need access, equal opportunity to DO what Obama asks of them!

[Amadeo78]

Frankly,if you look at the stats on who wins custody and at what percentage the imbalance is clear. The modern family will soon be composed of: Woman, Child and State.

[AfricanPrince]

I've only watched the first one minute and ten seconds but (so far) I feel the deepest compassion for you. Thats not fair.

[pimpjuice9304]

Although you do make a very good point...I think the speech was more directed towards african american families...Where you see more of a fundamental lack in fatherhood...Although this isn't always the case as you point out

[steve66oh]

Obama definitely has an important message for A-A families, really for any parent who choses to ignore responsibilities - and I wasn't criticizing what he said. But spending time changing minds of voluntarily absent parents, seems less productive than opening doors and removing roadblocks for those who ALREADY WANT to be there for their kids.

[vampedvixenvids]

So there must have been something that happened that caused the judge to think that you were a poor father figure. It's time you fess up to whatever it is that you did and stop blaming the court decision for your problems.

[steve66oh]

When I lost custody, I had 120 hours of foster parent training and a foster care license. I would have had a foster child if I had asked for one. Officially, in the court order, the reason we don't have joint custody is because one of us did not agree to joint custody. PS, my ex's boyfriend was not reqired to be evaluated before the judge placed my son in his home. Try again, Vixen.

[steve66oh]

As one who has "worked in the social welfare system for years", your display of "presumption of innocense" is touching.

Guys, it's exactly this - the "you must have done something to deserve this" attitude - that forces good fathers away from their kids. Obama says that 26 million kids are away from their dads. If 6.6M are guilty of something, put 'em all in jail - you'll quadruple U.S. prison pop., and leave 20M good dads forced out.

[marlee51]

This is called blaming the victim. No fault divorce means ONE person unilaterally chooses to leave the marriage. Most times it is a woman. She kicks out her husband, keeps the kids and very often the home, gets paid child support from their Daddy, and moves boyfriend in. So he loses his home, his wife, his kids, his bed, and gets the thrill of paying, but often has ONLY visitation, a day during the week and every other weekend. Does not mean that he has done anything.

[marlee51]

It happens too often for your comment to have any validity. Read Stephen Baskerville's latest book.

Oh, and I am a woman. My children's father had an attorney who GAVE me sole custody in the divorce papers. No judge made any decision other than to grant divorce and accept the custody and financial agreement that his attorney drew up.

[marlee51]

I was speaking to 'vampedvixenvids'.

Steve, I am in nearly total agreement with you, but I hold unilateral forced divorce responsible for much of what is happening today.

[steve66oh]

Thank you, Marlee.

Re: Vixen, thanks for clearing that up.

Re: "much of what is happening today", I agree completely! Mortgage crisis? 1960 US pop 180M in 58M homes = 3.1 per home. 2006 US pop 300M in 126M homes = 2.3 per home. If 300M lived at 3.1 per, we'd need just 96M homes - we have a housing surplus of 30 million homes... Any market, overstocked, declines.

Your ex's lawyer has to stay friendly with the court for tomorrow's client... he won't waste that on a lost cause (any father)

[aferg76]

@steve66oh in the black community it is more voluntary than voluntary. i think obama was speaking manly to the black community. over 65% of fathers are missing from black homes.

[maaruz1979]

@aferg76 one has to realize these recessions hit the black community harder than other communities. black male unemployment is easily double that of whites. only a very naive person does not realize the effect this has on the family structure. that is not to excuse abandonment, but it is not so cut & dried as the talking heads make it appear

[steve66oh]

@marlee51 - unilateral divorce IS a problem. But, honestly, people DO have a right to associate -or not- with whoever they want (provided the other consents to the association). When my spouse chose to leave me, she had THAT right. What she DIDN'T have was a right to demand that I leave my son. No-fault divorce MUST be interpreted as the FILER's request to leave the whole family and pay support.

[vampedvixenvids]

I've worked in the social welfare system for a few years now. There are ALWAYS reasons why a judge will not award equal parental custody. They are ALWAYS looking to keep both parents in the children's lives, since studies say that children who have both parents in their lives grow up to be mentally healthier.

[darnsosneaky]

Did you post this as a video response to Barack's father's day speech video? If you upload it there you might have more of a shot at getting it noticed.

[steve66oh]

I have submitted this as a reply video 5 times here, and 5 times as reply to "Obama podcast on fatherhood" - the video owner never approves this as a reply. "One Voice Can Change the World", and apparently I have "One (dangerous) Voice".

[virgokarr]

this is powerful man this is an incredible response.

[RoseCityRose]

I love Obama, .but his speech really irked me....When a man can get a 5000 bill slapped on him for back child support with one phone call because his ex threw a tantrum, with immediate payment required, if he can't they can take his driver's license,half his paycheck, PUT IT ON YOUR CREDIT. How is a father supposed to transport his child, or get a loan to provide his child with a home??? The government needs to start realizing the major role that WOMEN play in fatherless homes. And I AM A WOMAN

[themaniusedtob]

@RoseCityRose thank you finaly a lady that understands

[themaniusedtob]

@RoseCityRose  thank you finally a lady that understands

[ike1luv]

I feel for you man... that does suck. Let's hope that regardless of the votes, your circumstances become improved. That is a horrible position to be in.

[masoesa]

Yes, this sums it up. And I am a woman. I am all for equal rights;men's and women's.

[bipth]

I, too, have had my children kidnapped from me. The state put up no boundaries between my ex taking my children out of town over 100 miles away. However, they did put up boundaries when I was proving that I am a fit, loving, compassionate, caring and able father. What I've witness with purely absurd destruction of my children's emotional and mental well being.

[evenToddlers]

ALL,

Please see my video clips on YouTube;

Fathers' Rights in the United States

The 'Tender Years Doctrine' in the USA and UK

Fatherlessness - Love is a Losing Game sung by Amy Winehouse

Many thanks,

Kingsley Miller

[steve66oh]

Clear and convincing evidence - of a compelling state interest - and narrowly tailored interference to secure ONLY the identified state interest.

You can believe me, or you can read it for yourself in the famous parental rights case Roe v. Wade. If I'm wrong and my fundamental parental rights can be taken without passing that test, say goodbye to Roe....

[plly16verne]

samsRELIGION imposed illegally to destroy the bi-gendered, nuclear family. Misandry (really: Communism) rules: Throw-out Dad, God!, the Decalogue, anything remotely-smitten with paternalism! Then wonder why the USA has more men in prison than any nation in history?