Werewolves & Lollipops [Pt. 1]

[SCOBY193]

What are you guys laughing at??

[KingKushy56]

At about 7:06 is when I walked back into my bedroom after making a sandwich...see,I had though I paused the audio and in the middle of making my sandwich-y delight,I had forgotten all about the video.

So I enter my room and before I could even get settled,I hear my computer making advances towards me and I couldn't help but to think "Father Macnaire?!How did you get into my bedroom?!And find out where I lived?!And somehow traveled a hundred miles south to my home?!"

[BabyKitten199]

If I were a fat lard like patton, I wouldn't eat anything at KFC. But thankfully I'm 5'9" & a sz 2 & can eat a KFC "famous bowl" when I want. Don't knock it till you try it!

[SweetSodaChick]

@BabyKitten199 I'm 5' 7" and a sz 2 and could eat a KFC "famous bowl"....when I want to induce a heart attack.

[UnlovelyMage]

@BabyKitten199 You are an ignorant idiot...

[VampireofEpicness]

Now all we need is the super mega bowl, Which isnt in a bowl, but a bucket.

I'd get it.

[thSubliminalCriminal]

Sprinkle some fries on those CUHHPKAYKES..

as a rule I normally don't quote video's I've said but that shit is FUNN KNEE

[riceball23]

HAL JORDAN<3 I love this geeky bastard.

[Csp499]

I once told my ex girlfriend while having sex that I'd "Fill her hoo-ha with goof-juice".

Hence why she's my ex.

[geekatron1995]

I like to imagine that Remy the rat is actually saying all of these jokes. It's actually pretty great.

[TheChowder444]

@explodingpuppy well, they brought three bridge trolls with them to make 11! What idiots!!!

[GanjaKahn42O]

I laughed like a full blown retard when he said I'm going to fill your hooha with goof juice

[Punks1Not2Dead3You4R]

This album was the named the 5th best comedy album of all time by spin magazine, for good reason, its AMAZING!

[northstarprod]

UMEERICUHHH !!! EATIN MA LUNCH FRUMA SINGLE BOOOWL !!!!

[Ferret0418]

11 people had their hoohaas filled with goof juice.

[TheRadPi]

sprinkle some fries on those CUPCAKES

[gaz2206]

Fucking love Patton. He is terribly underrated :(

Greetings from Croatia, btw. :D

[shodanxx]

oh my god that KFC sketch is so dark

"food gun"

[100Soulpower]

Can't stop singing the KFC bowl song!

[AlaskanYeti]

its funny because Patton Oswald is not really that fat.

[panzercat39]

i had to fill 11 morons who ha's with my goof juice!

[WVUforREDSKINS]

I really want to eat a failure pile right now...Delish

[purplestar5204]

I like the famous bowl... :'(

[youngrebels75]

know what I realized? (not that you all care but not like it's going to stop me from telling you anyway...) the first time I watched Patton on My Weakness is Strong, I was in a hotel room, eating pizza and almost choked because I was laughing so hard. Now I'm listening to "happy birthday... I'm fooorty-thrree" and laughing so hard, again eating pizza... I have to lay off this stuff... at least while listening to this guy.

[em129836]

failure pile in a sadness bowl LMFAO

[EnviedCure776]

DAMN STRAIGHT! Miserable and thin!

[FouchJustin191]

11 people didn't make it pass the bridge troll lol !!!!

[MoRgUe27]

comment section or script of the video? o_O

[vaderbomb93]

"Character actors! Who gives a fuck if we're fat?"

Brian Dennehy FTW...

[ViperVisor]

Sprinkle some fries on those cup cakes!

[TrojanMike60]

I fucking hate Dane Cook.

[Juddenmar]

HAL JORDAN!

He's my favorite person just for making that reference.

[Squibfire]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, IM 43

[LaithianShadowfire]

LOL @ "hillock of glop".

[j2theosh1]

i want a lunch gun

[Battleaxx007]

SPRINKLE SOME FRIES ON THOSE CUPCAKES!

[explodingpuppy]

9 people are failure piles in sadness bowls

[jonahcbarnett]

@explodingpuppy

now its 11, lmfao

[tasteflavored]

who cares about dane cook anyways? (his first special is actually really good, he just sold out)

[norgeskuespiller19]

He's coming to Fargo on Jan. 12 and I just bought the tickets!!

[PaulsOpinion]

Is that Seth Green introducing him?

[DustyRog]

sprinkle some fries on those CUPCAKES!

[TomMSTie1138]

If the Famous Bowl is a "Failure Pile" then is the double down sandwich the "Failurewich?"

[SykoFox]

@TomMSTie1138 No, I believe that is the "HNNNNNNG!".

[TomMSTie1138]

@SykoFox LOL. Reminds me of Jim Gaffigan's future value menu, when a customer orders a number "UGH."

[SykoFox]

@TomMSTie1138 Love Jim Gaffigan. "Uh, can you bring your building closer to my car?"

[TomMSTie1138]

@SykoFox "Is that Cinnabon? Ow! I got a cavity!"

[legion696]

Why is it that on EVERY stand-up vids here on youtube there MUST be a comment regarding to Dane Cook?

[zofspade]

@legion696 Because he sucks.

Dane Cook sucks.

He sucks.

Dane Cook sucks.

[adraim69]

@legion696 It's for one simple reason which can be explained with a few facts. Dane Cook is a hack comedian whose only funny bits are bits he's stolen from good comedians (search Dane Cook Louis CK). 2. Most people who watch comedy on youtube are true fans of comedy and comedians. 3. The fact Dane Cook has ANY level of success and wealth, makes a true fan of comedy want to sit on a rail spike. 4. the internets is a good place to vent.

ergo, every stand up vid has a comment about Dane Cook.

[DRyalyan]

@legion696 Why on every music video there is a comment on Justin Beiber

[GreatLimmick]

@legion696

Viral marketing.

[batmanpronz]

@legion696 because Mr Cook is the baseline for dog shit comedy. One cannot possibly go any lower than that.

[zofspade]

@legion696 You just filled the quota.

[DonZabu]

@legion696

Because he sucks.

[jmt8921]

@legion696 Because the success of Dane Cook makes comedians who tell jokes and their fans become sad.

[KlausSteiner]

@legion696 Same reason why there is a coment about Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga in EVERY music video... Somehow natural selection fail with the idiots making those coments...

[W0BN1AR]

@KlausSteiner They've made the world too safe, natural selection is no longer doing it's job. In simpler times, these fuckers would be worm chow by now.

[dkthg]

@KlausSteiner Didja see that new Lady Gaga video? She's SO cool! Wait....lemme get back to you i gotta order this new Justin Beiber single from amazon.com.....

[seiyuuki343]

@legion696 he isn't even that funny

[CidLuneth1989]

@legion696 Hipster douchebags.

[magicpet]

@legion696 what else would Dane Cook do? Come up with his own jokes?

[funnymashups]

@legion696 Because every single Comedian shits on Dane Cook

[AnuxeL]

@legion696 He seems to be YouTube's "Bieber of comedy"

[ipvp4fun]

@legion696 and you have just added onto the comments regarding dane cook

[DeaNovo]

Who let the bridge troll in here? hahahaha

[RevanDuvalcane]

Patton is great because ALL of his stuff is original. And he's a ***damn good writer outside of comedy too: VERY few comedians have a college degree in English Literature.

[akwatic]

@RevanDuvalcane ummmm, I could b wrong, but the old people fucking bit is literally word for word bitten from Doug Stanhope.......Unless its the other way around, then I stand corrected. Prove me wrong.

[jruwing87]

i'm gonna fill your hoo-ha with goof juice!!! o my god i can't breathe anymore xD

[Aguayo87]

Will Power! Hal Jordan!

[svenskcanadian]

Jesus come work my jaw, and help my sloppy pile of food go down!

[fouchjustin19]

" CHARACTER ACTORS, WHO GIVES A FUCK IF WERE FAT XD "

[xX20lindsay08Xx]

sprinkle some fries on those cuuuupcakes

[CB71223]

This is a layer of courtesy fat!

[BuckwildWill]

"fuck dane cook!" jesus why does everyone compare comedians to dane cook, he's not the king of comedy. I like both of them

[ajossi]

AMERICA !!!! EATIN MY LUNCH FROM A SINGLE BOWL IN MY PARNETS BASEMENT WHERE IM LIVIN HAPPY B DAY IM 43 THATS HOW I WANT MY LUNCH, I DONT WANNA WASTE THOSE CALORIES CHEWIN!!

[ajossi]

AMERICA !!!! EATIN MY LUNCH FROM A SINGLE BOWL IN MY PARNETS BASEMENT WHERE IM LIVIN HAPPY B DAY IM 43 THATS HOW I WAMT MY LUNCH, I DONT WANNA WASTE THOSE CALORIES CHEWIN!!

[scarfacenwt]

I love this guy! So fucking real!! Fuck Dane Cook, beat it

[scarfacenwt]

I love this guy! So fucking real!!

[battster222]

This is a layer of courtesy fat!!!!!!

[mastercheif4072165]

Sprinkle some fries on those CUPCAKES.

[murfreeswhoro]

i dont underrate him hes the best alive imo

[sgood83]

Good band name: "Lunch Gun"

[PwningTehNoobs]

get ready for the minty freshness of mace because its commin

[KnowYourWeirdDivide]

I spit coffee out of my mouth during the KFC bowl song.

[illepic]

Failure Pile in a Sadness Bowl.

[YuriFoxie]

xD "America has spoken, PILE MY FOOD IN A FUCKING BOWL"

[JimmelHappyFunTime]

"Sprinkle some fries on those cupcakes..."

[Brianthesuperdog]

With you Mikedrud - Oswalt is so under-rated. he rocks.

[stillwater215]

"America, Eatin' my lunch from a single bowl

in my parents basement, where Im living,

happy Birthday, Im 43.

Thats how i want my lunch.

I dont want to waste those precious calories chewing.

Somebody move my jaw for me.

jesus come work my jaw, and help my sloppy pile of food go down."

[supercrawlerfaller]

"I'm drunk, here we go"

[nldarab]

My iTunes said this was disco...

[MrSuperbad72]

gooof juice

[yamon98]

the 1st time i ever heard a superhero joke LET ALONE a green lantern joke outside of that one episode of Seinfeld

[sandydeath56]

Did he just make a Green Lantern joke? That is why I love Patton Oswalt!

[nyall1976]

9 douches who think Dane Cook wrote his own jokes? Is douche contagious?

[JimmytheTexan1441]

@nyall1976 yes he steals jokes, but the way he delivers them is pretty funny, and i thumbs upped this bitch!

[ElPayasoMalo]

@JimmytheTexan1441 Everytime I seen Dane Cook do anything that doesn't involve Kevin Costner, my depression worsens.

[xenorun]

wow this set is very funny! this is the best I've ever heard him. I have a lot more respect for his comedic genius.

[deejersthecat]

AMERICA HAS SPOKEN!

[TheChallor1]

my favorite comedian alive

[ThousanWhite]

sprinkle some fries on those CUP CAKES

[ttp005]

funny soooo funny

[killahkoreah]

A failure pile in a bowl of sadness... He is an entire mess LMMFAO!!! I love him!

[tito247]

Wow...i can't believe i never really saw him other than on that one really unfunny show before. I just laughed so hard i drooled on myself. Thats saying something.

[bassguitarfreek]

I'm just really glad this hasn't been taken down by some record label fuckwads.

[luckyrabbitfoot99]

sprinckle some fries on that cup cake....i want to fuck you so hard.

[lobsopdoy]

Oh hell yeah, sweet Green Lantern reference.

[cerasi209]

@lobsopdoy

I thought I was the only one who got the willpower/hal jordan reference!

[mikelitwin78]

*"Top 100 list" is what I meant to type.

[mikelitwin78]

How did Patton not make Comedy Central's top 10 comedians list? He never fails to make me laugh. Even when he says something that ought to personally offend me...I STILL can't help but laugh!

[hcabmellaK]

If anyone knows where online to find Patton Oswalt's bit about a lounge entertainer singing "LOVE ON THE ROCKS," please send a message to this YouTube account (hcabmellaK). The bit is so genuinely hilarious.

[Balmung2013]

Limewire. Search patton oswalt, and it will be on the album called the villain who get's away with it, about halfway in.

[JustusGregorius]

@Balmung2013 As an IT student, don't use Limewire. People have reported that Limewire has a lot of viruses.

[ubroketherulez]

i just want kind of a light brown hillick of glop

Failure Pile in a Sadness Bowl ftw

[jazz4]

We don't have these bowls in the UK KFC's, but they sound immense.

[kdixon7783c]

@jazz4 That's because KFC is aware that you guys aren't carb addicts.

[ChainGangPictures]

Love this one. Hilarious!

[TzekeT]

sprinkles some fries on those CUPCAKES

[gfuzzy]

@TzekeT

Have you ever noticed his food combinations sound completely delicious?

Talk about stoner food galore.

[digitalshark]

Very cool at about 5:30 - Patton's the lead in a dramatic film out now called Big Fan. I always thought he might be a really good actor - he's really honest with himself as well as a comedy. The trailer looked really good.

[phucketification]

sprinkle some fries on those cupcakes!

[Wolfishhunger]

I got a KFC famous bowl after this LMFAO!

[Applemask]

JESUS COME WORK MY JAW FOR ME

[FFFFFFFFFUUUU]

I know I lol'd

[UnderworldRec0rds]

Ameerrrrriiiiicaaaaa, eatin my food out a single bowl!

[xXxPetenTronxXx]

"CHARACTER ACTORS, WHO GIVES A FUCK IF WE'RE FAT!!!"

Brilliant!!!

[JoeyBagODonuts612]

failure pile in a sadness bowl!

[frodope]

"sprinkle some fryes on those cup cakes" haha holy shit classic!

[stroke1028]

taco bell has a meat gun... aka a lunch gun

[Buddy3bsen]

fuck dane cook

[xarboy5000]

@Buddy3bsen I'm with ya man, Dane Cook is a hack. Half of what he says is just shock comedy, or rambling of crap. The blathering of coke heads is more funny.

[TheOlympiaLowlife]

@xarboy5000 this is shock comedy! random shit, but the difference is pat oswalt is SO out there (fifty dicks in his ass like the tail of a peacock) and he actually puts his stuff together in an awesome organized way

[CENSOREDFORSEX]

@Buddy3bsen How is he popular? It seems like EVERYONE hates him.

[deathofamailman]

@Buddy3bsen 

[RnDnproductions]

@Buddy3bsen HEY, just becuse Dane Cook isent as funny dosent mean he isent funny at all.

[dimlightbulb10]

dane cook isnt funny while patton oswalt is a comedian

[damnyoustamos]

No, it's measured by sucking.

[pedonextdoor21]

@dimlightbulb10 he is if he keeps stealing jokes. Zing!

[dimlightbulb10]

@pedonextdoor21 ka-kow

[magicmanyea]

@dimlightbulb10 You knwo I liked Dane Cook before he got really famous.

[RincewindsHat66]

@dimlightbulb10 Dane Cook wouldn't be funny if the #1 comedy in theaters was a movie about Holocaust survivors having abortions on 9/11.

[cromwellian13]

No he's not. That's my opinion. Plus, Cook steals material. Look it up here.

[Valak07]

Patton Oswalt is so FUCKING funny he is the best comedian out there i think

[edgar867]

Carcass!!!!

[TwoBitWriter]

He really is the funniest man alive.

[pepandmoxie]

THANK YOU, Shotgunnova, for posting this for us. I'm a huge fan of Patton Oswald, but I can't afford the album right now, but I swear I'll buy it soon! I really appreciate this, man.

[dmdiamond220]

could people just stop quoting the material?

[apeachfortheparent]

I'm drunk. Here we go!

[TaylorConrad8098]

boo hoo purist

[Reiken37]

I like the other way he did the KFC bowls, but that segment is my favorite oswalt segment of all. Also, I agree, Dane Cook looks like a complete fool when he tells *his* jokes, which aren't really his most of the time.

[Aaronlm91]

Love patton,love the green lantern reference.

[stonedragon313]

This is a layer of courtesy fat! Funny as hell!!

[incubuskid09]

Comic. Fucking. Genius.

[ParaTobEnce]

character actors! who gives a fuck if we're fat?

sprinkle some fries on those cupcakes

[Tatsumi67]

"Jesus come move my jaw!"

[eezpzee]

My hooha is filled with sand. Thanks Patton, you're funny and a good general sojer.

[XxEmoxNarutoxX]

Im gonna fill ur oha with goof juice

[mikedrud]

Is it me or is this guy the most underrated comedian working today? Hi-lar-i-ous!

[yourgay103]

no jim gaffigan is

[mikedrud]

I like Gaffigan too; but he's been getting a lot of attention the last couple years. Oswalt is right where he was back in '07. About to break big.

[GuitarRHCPfan]

@mikedrud Easily the most underrated. Its because his humor is more mature than most. In the sense, that you have to know a little bit of what he is talking about to get the hilarity of it.

[mikedrud]

@GuitarRHCPfan Absolutely. His pop culture references alone are as obscure and all-over-the-place as Dennis Miller's (when he was actually funny). I mean, "This Mortal Coil"? Great reference that is PERFECT if you even have a passing familiarity with that band.

[GuitarRHCPfan]

@mikedrud EXACTLY man. Before Patton, my favorite comedian was Nick Swardson. But Nick is nowhere near the same level as Oswalt...I started to like Patton when I heard his No Reason to Complain show. My favorite joke by any comedian is "The Sky Cake is a Lie" because its exactly how I view religion...thank goodness for Oswalt.

[Blarghargh]

sprinkle some fries on those cupcaaakes

[ifrit26]

He's like, obscurely sarcastic but its good.

[videosfromderelix]

the true king of comedy

[Seriona]

Is Patton really shit faced when he is doing this?

[xxMICxASSASSINxx]

im gonna fill ure hooha with goof juice

[Alex618mir]

"happy birthday,im 43"