Chuck Palahniuk reading 'Guts' 1/2

[theflyingaftermath]

god, this is so weird... i never imagined most of this story as funny at ALL, but everyone's laughing.... still great, though :D

[dman4357]

im never jacking off, or swimming again

[Mailovely15]

Yeah...first time i read this....i started dry heaving and laughing while crying tears of sheer hilarity...

[7thson137666]

So this is where South Park got that one episode

[ProfessorAlaska]

I always get really paranoid when I'm reading Haunted at school. I'm pretty sure anyone sitting behind me would think I was crazy.

[macleger]

i imagined his voice more like the narrator from fight club

[Filipinoidol]

i fainted

[JamesTKirkCobain]

Did this really happen to him?

[madisutbzz69]

he kinda sounds like a male valley girl? hahaha love him though

[cooliovasquez]

why are these people laughing...??

[mrsbaker813]

I still get chills..

[Y0ssariantheAssyrian]

is this a church? lmao

[Vazeroth16]

So I am somewhat confused here. I haven't read this yet, but I know it asks the reader to hold their breath. I've also heard people are fainting. Isn't that just a normal consequence from a lack of oxygen?

[dman4357]

@Vazeroth16 the holding of the breath part is because the character feels a drowning feeling... and another... scarier feeling. the fainting is because of the shocking, disturbing end of the story

[Y0ssariantheAssyrian]

@jsuglia what? source please

[jaspjohnny]

wow that man is such anispiration

[tamilazzara]

His reading voice is totally different to how I imagined it

[MichaelLawlorRojas]

Fucked up story bro

[skatapoopy]

I just read the story. Sick but awesome!

[chgpatriot7]

how does this make people faint? its pretty disgusting but how do you pass out?

[douboymk2]

@chgpatriot7

probably actually tried to hold their breath till the end

[Noomie90]

Chuck is brilliant.

[igiveuponthename]

ioport, just go choke on your own cum and do us all a favor, ok? cheers.

[ioport]

igiveuponthename, just go choke on your father's worthless semen, KAY? cheers

[cicatriz3]

@ioport you are the biggest tool on youtube congrats

[ioport]

@cicatriz3 You teen to twenty-something Palahniuk fans are the biggest tools of all. Congrats on making this sellout hack a millionaire.

[cicatriz3]

@ioport I've actually never read any of his books and was told about this story from some kid in my stats class, shows how much you know salmon tits

[ioport]

@cicatriz3 Kids in your state class. LOL. Case closed. Hope you're proud of your fan base, Chucky.

[cicatriz3]

@ioport no i said stats dumb fuck as in statistics, someone just got owned eh?

[ioport]

@cicatriz3 Yeah, it was a typo faggot. I know you meant stats.

[cicatriz3]

@ioport sure whatever makes you sleep better at night

[OctavioRedding]

Honestly, this story was cool but didn't shock me much if at all... Not the best story in the book.

Too much 4chan.

[XyliaRose6]

Actually, the pool part didn't disgust me at all. The candle wax part got me a little though. Weird, but eh, whatever.

Also, apparently a movie based on Haunted is in production?

[Toolguitarplayer]

This fucking story is great. i love this book is amazing!

[Dannimariex3]

this was the best and most disturbing story i've ever read. He really is an amazing author. kudos!

[CaptainPommby]

Palahniuk is great! :P

[LJRO]

holy shit, i did not find this hilarious. i thought it was disturbing as fuck when i read it.

[jamieboyrockon]

@LJRO WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? lol.

[27Oldboy27]

it's funny, when i read this part of Haunted, i was absolutely horrified, but everyone in the audience is laughing and enjoying it. i guess it's the way Palahniuk reads it...more sarcastic and humorous.

i remember i became utterly sick to my stomach when i read this haha. such a good book.

so fucked up haha

[RagingRapist]

In the afterward in Haunted he talks about how in some of the readings people in the audience passed out.

[Oblivion1313]

Yeah, when I read it, I found nothing funny about the story. I found it disturbing and probably the most disgusting thing that I had ever read or ever will. But when he's reading it, the way he says everything makes it humorous.

Although I put the book down after reading that story and felt disgusted that I even completed it, I wanted to read more. I wanted to see if that story could be topped.

[garylssk]

i just finished reading haunted and i dont know what to think about it....i liked it, it was funny and interesting but the ending was pretty disappointing...the last short story was just weird.

[jmbretter]

pretty funny

[cheapies68]

dumbass niggers hitler will rise again

[90sbaby92]

wow i love the random race comments . for all the little kids who are to scared to say things to peoples face.. oand gues wat HITLERS DEAD...there is no return sorry to dissapoint u (sad face)

[CHTcompute]

So gross. I read this at night to some guys on my camping trip. Pretty awesome.

[jaaayjay1221]

this is in Haunted :) <3

[ioport]

Watch the "hentai" vids I've favorited, you shit-brained monkey. Then you'll understand.

[rebisdead]

1 or 2 people always faint every time he reads this story to an audience. That is funny! It's always at the same point too...

[ioport]

God damn you people are idiots for being into this guy

[gothman92]

lol your a faggot for not.

[ioport]

Typical retarded teenage Chuckie fan. Case closed.

[SlickFiction]

Typical dismissive pretentious ass.

[ioport]

Typical uneducated, ill-read, teenage Chuckie fan. Case closed again.

[incantare666]

Typical dumb 15 years old retarded fucks bitching at each other on Youtube. Stupid case closed.

[ioport]

15? Think again, shit-for-brains.

[SlickFiction]

Yeah, definitely not much smarter than a fifteen year old. Ill read? You're definitely a presumptuous cock

[ioport]

Sorry for having standards, Teenboy. Funny how every twit on here who has something nasty to say to me falls into the same teenage demographic I mentioned. Case closed yet again. When will you monkeys learn? When will you stop being so white and suburban? Man, they've got your category all figured out. Keep buying the books, tool. Fucking consumers. The publishers have got you all pegged.

[dracken8]

right.. cause chuck is so mainstream... tard

[ioport]

Mainstream for you angsty white middle class teens, fuckface.

[dracken8]

i guess you know everything about me seeing as we've never met before.. you are so underground dude.. by hating on what other people like thats just badass in general.. maybe you should go cut yourself

[ioport]

Look in the mirror. You are a stereotype. Your race, social class, and nationality has made you so, regardless of how edgy or alternative you think you are. Cut myself? You just proved my point. How fucking old are you? Shit, how boring and predictable human beings are.

[dracken8]

stereotype? me? read what you just typed man.. you are the one who clicked on this video just to tell people who like this guy, that he is bad and that you are so much cooler than him and everyone else... Also, you have no idea of my race, social class or nationality.. So your losing faith in humanity? sounds a bit stereotypical to me you dumb fuck..

[SlickFiction]

If you define people solely by the stereotypes they fulfill it's easy to pan them, say they don't matter. It's experience outside the stereotypes that makes a person.

Upton Sinclair was a rich white kid. Is Sherman Alexie is just an Indian kid from a reservation? Is Toni Morrison just a southern black? All you're doing is taking aspects of a persons life and defining them by those aspects. You're completely blind to your own ignorance.

Man got to tell himself he understand- Vonnegut

[ioport]

Spoken like a true white middle class dipshit without a clue. Stereotypes? Yes, they're usually true. You people are so fucking predictable. It's a big fat joke, though not so funny. Keep on pretending like Palahniuk is something deep and irreverent though, you white suburban young male.

[SlickFiction]

Spoken like a true, dismissive ass. See how easy it is to just say people are wrong without proving your point? You want to know what's predictable? The actions of a bitter little shit sitting behind their computer trying to tell everyone else they're wrong, that they're stupid, and never doing anything to prove themselves right or to prove themselves better.

I don't even like Palahniuk, which actually already proves you wrong. I argue you because I think you're a dismissive ass.

[ioport]

Zzzzzz. And, again, you are a white 20-year old middle class fag. Jesus Christ you don't even realize what a stereotype you really are.

[SlickFiction]

And again, you would rather repeat the same inane bullshit than actually make a point. "Boooo, you're a stereotype! You oblivious, wannabe nonconformists! None of you are as observant or poignant as I am. I alone stand as the true pillar of knowledge amongst all your stupidity." Blah blah blah, save your sanctimonious bullshit. You don't know me. All you know is what can be seen from my youtube profile. Being white, 19, and middle class, define three things about myself.

[ioport]

Being white, 19, and middle class defines EVERYTHING about you. Shit, even the marketeers got you pegged son.

[SlickFiction]

1. You just openly admitted that you let marketeers define people for you.

2. If I'm such a stereotype, tell me something else about my life, besides those three things. Nail one other fact about me. Not shit you can see from my account, just a fact you can intuit about me based on what you know, because I'm such a stereotype, you'd have to be right.

[ioport]

What I said, moron, (and try to wrap your brain around this) is that the sales people got your demographic down. 18-25, white, middle class, enjoy consuming products deemed edgy, non-conformist, hip, and irreverent, listen to so-called alternative music, read Chuck P, etc. Despite your sense of being an individual, you fall into a category, just like anyone else. Fuck, didn't you learn anything from Fight Club?

[SlickFiction]

What I said, dipshit, is that you assume everybody who fits into the category of 18-25 white, middle class males fits that category perfectly. I don't, and to assume that everyone who fits those demograhics and also likes Palahniuk are all the same people, is dismissive, and dismissiveness makes you an ass. I"m ending this retarded argument here. Accept defeat. Beast mode: [on] off

[ioport]

Accept you are a fag that is everything I've painted you to be. Your fag mode: [on]

[SlickFiction]

Oh, and I didn't read Fight Club. Didn't I just tell you I don't like Palahniuk? Booyah

[ZunigaZorola]

@SlickFiction booyah? what are you fucking 7 yrs old? someone that fuckin retarded doesnt know good literature is.

p.s. go eat your semen

[xblindx]

@ioport: wow.

[dracken8]

nice job calling people consumers as well.. i guess they really do need to be stopped. God forbid that people spend money on things they enjoy, and thus fuel the economy... It sounds like you live a joyless and you can't accept other people being happy

[dracken8]

joyless life*

[heavymetalstud]

I should just note that he is pretty mainstream. Palahniuk seems like the 'cool' thing to do, but he just writes like a juvenile taint. It's kind of like the Stephenie Meyer fad: neither authors are any good. Palahniuk writes for young guys who don't want to read anything knowledgeable and Meyer does the same for young girls.

[dracken8]

wow i don't know how you can say that Chuck Palahniuk is not a good author.. the intricacies of his plots and descriptiveness of his prose are of amazing standard, even if they are about disgusting topics. You just can't say that the author of Fight Club isnt good..

[heavymetalstud]

I can. Pick up Vladimir Nabokov's 'Pale Fire.'

There's no comparison. Palahniuk entirely overuses profanity and outdated phrases with very little talent in between. I just don't find his style to be enjoyable.

[dracken8]

ok i havent heard of that guy and he may be good... but by comparing chuck to him is not to say that that makes either of them a bad author. Can't say i agree dude.. i find his style enjoyable but each to his own.

[heavymetalstud]

Well, I can only say that I've read Palahniuk, and, to pull an excerpt out of my ass, it's pretty poor:

"Picture the icky little shit smiling in old school photos with some of his baby teeth missing and his first adult teeth coming in crooked [...] Even that young, picture him biting his dickhead fingernails. His favorite shoes are Keds. His favorite food, fucking corn dogs."

It doesn't help that the back of one of his books compared him to Vonnegut. Not a chance.

[dracken8]

what do you have against profanity? it just adds to the impact of what he's saying... i see no overusage there...

[heavymetalstud]

I beg to differ. It's entirely pointless.

"His favorite food, fucking corn dogs."

What's the point? The author sounds like more of a dick than the kid himself.  In fact, the kid sounds like a normal kid. Is that the point? That the author's a bigger asshole than his character?

[dracken8]

you obviously are prejudiced.. palahniuk isn't necessarily writing from his own perspective.. it could be just one person's point of view that he is portraying..

[heavymetalstud]

"you obviously are prejudiced.."

I apologize for my bias; end of conversation.

[DominicFear]

Wow, I may be really late to this conversation, but I'm gonna hop in anyways.

Heavymetal stud, you seemed to have missed the part where he is writing these books IN CHARACTER. as in from the perspective of a character, so it's obvious that he makes them speak in modern vernacular.

Nabokov is incredible (While I think vonnegut is a bit over rated)

Now Palahniuk does have his faults.

He always seems to instill this deep dark philosophy about life, that is all him and the character woldnt think

[auxchampselysses]

you obviously missed the point. the author IS the kid.

my point is that you're a bigger asshole than the author, AND his character combined.

[heavymetalstud]

Through your use of the term 'obviously' and your defense (which is more of an insult than a defense), you have easily established yourself as an elitist. That's okay.

I did not miss the point. I don't see how it could be obvious either. My point is that the author must always be the same kid if he continues to use the same manner of prose in each novel. He writes as an amateur who has just discovered the gift of profanity.

...and, apparently, so do you.

<3

[fatfacekid]

If you dont like CP why comment on his videos? That desperate for human contact or just trying to prove to the world that your special, unique, and swimming against the stream b/c of your choice of literature. You call CP's books the "cool" thing to read? flip the spectrum and your doing the "cool" thing by criticizing people for reading literature you deem maintstream and of poor quality. Keep thinking your a cut above the herd, the truth is theres millions of narcissistic idiots just like you.

[heavymetalstud]

That's not entirely my point. My point is that I cannot stand his style. Do I really think I'm better than anyone else for thinking Chuck Palahniuk sucks? No. That's fucking ridiculous. Do you think you're better than people like me because you like him? I hope not. So, what I'm doing is not being desperate for human contact. I have plenty going on. I don't see why you're so upset by an alternate opinion...or feuding with this several month old post, nonetheless.

[fatfacekid]

This book is ment to play with the aduience/reader and is written stylistically for effect which it clearly succeeded in if it made 68 people faint ( which doesnt lose credibility b/c you werent one of them.) This is about the only book he wrote like this too. Im curious to know if youve acctually read anything else by him or are just blowing your load off flexing your vocabulary and telling people you find yourself well read.

[heavymetalstud]

Choke. It was the biggest piece of shit I've read since Bukowski's 'Post Office.'

[heavymetalstud]

On top of that, I would like to note that the guy who challenged whether or not I've read anything other than Haunted should've actually gone through what I've said prior to this.

At the end of the day, though, remember that my name is 'heavymetalstud.' I can't get much credit for that.

[wikkakillaman]

@heavymetalstud Alright. Having had this exact same conversation with a girl in my philosophy class (i was turning her onto Vonnegut and she was showing me ^^) I can say i like this guy. Vonnegut was a little more spacey, and this guy has a little more of a hold your eyes open to your parents fucking in front of you feel. which is... fun. and if you base all your criticism off of his juvenile style of writing, ehem excuse me.... THATS THE FUCKING POINT!!!!!!!! HES WRITING AS A 13 Y.O.!

[scentedskanks]

@heavymetalstud It's pretty obvious to me after reading a few of CP's novels that his style isn't something that everyone can appreciate, and that's just fine with me. But comparing him to SMeyer? That's just unfair. CP can at least tell an entertaining story with three-dimensional characters and develop at least some semblance of a plot. Not to mention, even if you don't like the guy's style, at least he actually HAS one. SMeyer isn't even a WRITER. Seriously, read her bio. She just got lucky.

[incantare666]

Oh sorry for the misunderstanding, i didn't say you are 15, i say you act just like a retarded 15 years old...

[ioport]

Too bad mommy and daddy didn't love you more. Tough life, isn't it, you 29 year old loser fuck.

[themantis98]

MORE COMMENT SPAM

[themantis98]

AGAIN!!11!!!!oneone!!!!!!!!!

[themantis98]

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[sherberg924]

this would be such a great book. it would be cool if he could get it published into one.

[LunaticDye]

Isn't it part of his book Haunted? one of the characters flashbacks in the book

[xthirteendays]

yeah.

its the third or fourth story in.

its by saint gutfree.

[zedizdead420]

I believe you are correct.

[chainsmokinchick]

um, hello? read much? as stated below this story is published. Try Haunted. pffft. Without a doubt best part of the book. 2nd best is - "I only fainted and you..." I don't want to be a spolier but you who read it know what I'm talking about.

[alissewonder]

Is it true ppl passed out in several ocasions when he read that?

[NamidaWoKoroshite]

Yes

[heroinmethheroin]

In the afterword he talks about all the people who passes out. He also explains how the three stories within the story are true. The first two to people he knew. The pool one happened to a man he met at a sex addict meeting while researching 'Choke'.

[Zeiaa]

Oh lordy I love this man..

[asylumstudios]

Hey, this starts a few pages into the story!

Bullshit.

[Resevil]

I think it's safe to say that Mr. Palahniuk wins at the Aristocrats every time.

[domismostcertainly18]

I think Edward Norton should read this, it would just sound awesome. Then it could be played on the radio services they have on planes, it'd sure make a flight more interesting

[itsmandydammit]

As I read Haunted, I thought of Edward Norton reading it, it sounds cooler.

[pills2103]

what a shitty writer

[watashiwanachodes]

better than what u could ever write, im shure. unless ure freakin fernando pessoa or something

[watashiwanachodes]

oh really? and who would u be? besides he depends so much in his capacity of shocking people with upfront facts, i think he is great because he involves non-readers and makes u feel smarter than him along the way (which takes someone extremly smart). Hes great because he hit u in the gut. So... once again who are you, if so much better writer than him. Or are those, simply, empty words?

[pills2103]

really? upfront facts of about the average rate someone masturbates a week or how it makes masturbating more pleasurable to stick things in your dick? Sounds super intelligent to me, so intelligent, that I am in fact blown away. I am just amazed at the knowledge I know now of how to masturbate with a carrot in my ass. 16 years old, I will publish soon, and you'll see your sorry ass saying sorry to me

[ProjectABUSE]

Wow. You're really full of yourself.

Tell me your full name. I want to see a 16 year old who claims to be a better writer than Chuck Palahniuk get published.

[watashiwanachodes]

he is smarter... just because he lets u think u are smarter he proves that point... and hes sales are just a way of meassuring how hard he gets peoples attention, id like to know other writer besides him that can force so many non-readers to read nowadays. And dont think for a sec. you dodge the bullet: as faster you let me know who you are and what your credentials are, the faster i can discard you. Or the faster you'd prove me wrong. Back up your big words if u can

[plaidrabbit1]

"... and you'll see your sorry ass saying sorry to me."

Truly the work of a master.

[date6269]

in the aftorword (warning) at the end of Haunted he mentions that 73 people total had fainted while he read this story out loud at signings. the words "corn and peanuts" was alost a universal trigger for people to freak out.

[QlockworkOrange]

true story...

[dunstanjairaj]

chuck bhai. you rule !

anyone for fight club in india ? contact me

i will fight u

[DEACONAP4LOVE]

Wow, he is so talented.

[klickenpod]

yeah, I remember how this is the reading that people freaked out about, vomiting and/or fainting.

I guess I need to read the book to get the full effect.

[deadpisser88]

Chuck rules.

[Qwertywalnut]

Word.

[GilbertoBarbosa]

se eu fosse dizer qual era o gosto, você nunca mais ia comer peixe

[beichola]

quem é que não quer levar uma chupada no cu?

[elorawhoo]

what happened at 2:32?

[ChelseaSaughton]

Someone probably fainted or vomited. Apparently all through his tour, 30+ people fainted at his readings.

[arsenalavenue]

More like 60+

[tvojaoblicka]

your mother got pregnant with you dickface!