Added: 4 years ago
From: RagingFeline
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  • 1:10 Gatling gun? :P

  • "?????????????????"

    LOL

  • I'm a die-hard cougar, but I could never refuse Michael Caine...

  • @missjenny13666 Oh behave!

  • I don't need subtitles ;)

  • :| around 1:09 he says Gatling Gun... how is that relevant >.<

  • ??????....Tea Kettle!!!

  • Two of my British friends will play this conversation out, sometimes.

    This is why I love my friends. xD

  • One of my favourite scenes from Goldmember, never fails to crack me up.

    Shame my grandfather doesnt use as much cockney slang as he used too!

  • "???????????"

  • Wow! that was amazing

  • TEA KETTLE

  • Tea Kettle!

  • Mike Myers says lorry in a really weird way.

  • Even I can't follow half of this, though they are speaking unusually fast.

  • Shat= S***

  • for people in england is this real ?? how there speaaking or is it just a joke lol??

  • @rooneyfan6292 We can actually speak like this but we only do it in private to other English gentlemen.

  • @333MJH lol kool wish my country could speak like that lol

  • How many other people get the names Julie and Judy mixed up?

  • I would go to London just to learn to speak cockney so I could come home and confuse people.

  • Thumbs up if you're from the golden isle and didn't need the subtitles

  • I really need to brush up on my cockney.... It's been so long since an American didn't know what I was saying...

  • 0:46 This is how Spanish sounds like to me, a bunch of really fast gibberish.

  • hahaha

  • I,m American, and I didn't understand shit these brits said. 

  • @VTwinty

    It's not even real. It's just a joke.

  • @ViperaPalestina Its cockney slang, origined from east london, its a dying thing, stil goes on though, "its not real" lol

  • @JakyRedEyes

    Really ?? I thought it was a joke! LOL

  • And then SHE SHAT ON A TURTLE!

  • Its called Cockney Rhyming slang... used to confuse foreigners... like we aint got enough foreigners already!!!

  • do the english really talk this way?

  • Oh yeah, this scene is completely accurate. Mostly coz the only reason us Brits would talk like this, is to confuse a bunch of Americans. Trust me, the fifth time a tourist has asked you where their bus is, you start brushing up on your cockney.

  • Comment removed

  • @AQuestOfScales Lmao, that's awesome...i'm an american but can't say i'm proud of it...I could see where the English would get annoyed with us, we stick our noses in everything that isn't ours.

  • @ZeoTheZombie Haha, not like this. Theres often some phrases like these mixed in with normal speech, for example saying someones crazy by saying their all sixes and sevens, or saying I don't Adam and Eve it for I don't believe it, but we don't just use cockney by itself like this. It's also not used as much as it used to be, I remember my gran always used cokney words like apple and pears for stairs, dicky bird for word and so on.

  • @omgbabiesatemydingo Yes, I agree with you. It's not used as much these days. But I will still drop the odd one in when talking to my daughter. For example, I will say, Do you fancy havin a quick butchers at that? if we are out shopping for example. (For the Americans Butchers is slang for butcher's hook= look; hence, do you fancy having a quick look at that.)

  • TEA KETTLE!!!!!!!!!

    

  • I THANKYOU

  • What? Billy no mates?!

     :O

  • SHAT ON A TURTLE!

  • ???????????

    LAWLZ

  • I don't get the viagra joke :/

  • @abby776225 a stiff neck for hours?

    You really need to concentrate, hunker down and try to figure out this joke.

  • @Jadervason yeah, I finally figured it out... wow

  • @abby776225 He says, "I took a viagra, I had it stuck in my throat. Had a stiff neck for hours."

    Viagra, as you probably don't know, gives you a long lasting erection.

  • Watch this with captions

    hahahah

  • Well i'm dutch (like goldmember :p)

    And if you just listen to what they say you can easely understand them. And since i first saw this scene i realy wanted to be able to talk like this. It just sounds so funny. Im just having trouble with there speed. I realy cant talk that fast (not even in dutch xD)

  • @mhag1000 i think they do that on purpose, but ye, it's basicly the speed that makes it hard to understand.

  • No Americans will have a clue what they're saying. Only Brits know :)

  • Austin's dad sounds like Michael Angelis: the narrator of Thomas and Friends.

  • One of those things where no english person talks like that, yet we all understood what it meant xD

  • ????????? - XD

  • Damn I only knew that lorry means truck.

  • SHAT ON A TURTLE!!!!!

  • Thumbs up if you can understand what they're saying without the subtitles.

  • i actually dont get it i am scottish do we have cool linguistics?

  • I'm Irish and I still understood most of it :p

  • @rossyxan same here :D

  • ...WAT D;

  • Nutting that lot out was a real Michael Caine...

  • I'm from London so I know what most of these mean, this is cockney slag. Some people will speak it in town (the toffs won't), but for the rest of the country people talk normally.

  • ...the 6s and the 7s!!!

  • lmfao "i took a viagra and it's stuck in me throat, had a stiff neck for hours!... i thank you!"

  • This scene reminds me of the jive speaking guys from Airplane.

  • ?????...Tea Kettle! 

  • I'm British and I can say that hardly ANYONE talks like this constantly, although many people, especially from parts of London do use some of these phrases on a daily basis, such as apples and pears= stairs, bobby= policeman, pork pies/porkies= lies, crimbo= christmas, I mean I often use alot of them as well.

  • Have a J Arthur? Hah!

  • To people asking, no we don't actually speak like that..but I did understand most of it :D

  • just seeing this i want to go to england screw you u peronkop

  • lol the translation for shat on a turtle is the same.

  • Michael Caine is amazing

  • It's funny, because I don't talk like that.

    No, it really is funny.

  • I am a Vietnamese and I am not bad at English, either British or American... But after seeing this, I was like "I spent more than 10 years studying English for...NOTHING!"

  • Put your hand over mouth

    1. Make a wish

    2. Close your hand (fist)

    3. Put your fist over your heart for 5 seconds

    4. Post this on three videos

    5. Tomorrow will be the best day ever

  • Heh "AND SHE SHAT ON A TURTLE!!!!!"

  • For those who are interested, check out an Emmy Award winning series called "The Story of English" from the 1980's (it's available on Youtube). Especially Episode 7 "The Muvver Tongue". It tells the fascinating story of how Cockney English developed, and has extensive clips of Londoners from the 80's speaking this dialect.

  • is this real? like do english people actually sometimes talk like this?

  • @tqdvorak That was all genuine slang but is rarely used outside of baffling those not in the know.

  • @tqdvorak No but there just english sayings. I understood all of it :)

  • Got about half way through before it confused me ... Should've understood it too ¬¬

  • I love the 45 seconds of bs before the actual scene. make sure never to edit that out...

  • hahahahahah WTFFFFF

  • Wow.. I'm never going to England.

  • @peronkop Don't worry, they don't really speak like that XD

  • @ScorpioCarly Or do we?

  • @peronkop "English" English isn't much different from "American" English for the most part. What's seen here is "Cockney", which is a language invented by prisoners which uses tons of different words, based on rhyming.

    tl;dr: You won't have trouble understanding people in Britain, almost nobody speaks cockney normally.

  • The one that was all 6's and 7's?

  • Why not just have a J Arthur? LOL

  • I talk like that.

  • 26 people shat on a turtle.

  • ?????? lol

  • i'm english and understood all of it without subtitles....

  • This reminds of the Jive scenes from Airplane

  • hey what is this language called? is it real and if so where do you learn it and HOW?

  • @Inomorethanuandthem Its just slang English, its pretty simple just like ryhming words like "up the stairs" is "up the apples and pears". And "are you telling lies?" is "are you telling pork pies?". Billy means someone who is one their own so the are called "Billy no mates".

  • @Denwoodanator thanks! I was just wondering because I wanted to speak something other than English and Pig Latin. lol

  • @Inomorethanuandthem its english the old fashioned way

  • Its Billy no mates. He were crackin them out. nothing wrong with a nice ching wag love. Make us a brew 2 sugars nice one cocker.

  • Too bad I can't understand any of the things that they were saying.

  • I felt like God when I didn't need subtitles!

  • @him050 How could you not need subtitles ... is that actually a way to talk? lol

    

  • @SpitOutYourStride Yeah man, cockney rhyming slang! :-)

  • @him050 it's not even cockney rhyming slang though i know how to speak that this is literally pure gibberish.....

  • @SpitOutYourStride Well the end bit is total nonsense.

  • @him050 nice

  • @him050 Neither did I rofl

  • I understood every thing he said lol.

  • jolly much i'd say im all four down on an apple reachin for the sky

  • im all sixes nd sevens over me new hot sunshine :)

  • Weirdly, I can pretty much understand that. The West Country has taught me nothing if not to make sense of the insensible, ooh-arr.

  • AAHH THANK YOU!

  • I was to cupboard the old thee thumbnail but not to realize the doobus was all 6s and 7s. Subtitles: What?

  • to right youth

  • thumbs up if you keep replaying it and try to say exactly what they're saying and then trying to make sence! :D

  • I understood around a third of that without the subtitles... being a Midlandser! :D

  • i'm english i could probably understand about half of it

  • Oh the one that was all 6's and 7's hahaha XD

  • im half british from both england and britain ;)

    

  • dkndfndkfrbvgffuirfnrkfmne;...­tea kettle!

  • the english english part

  • one question, now, i am mexican ok, i will ask the british, do you really understand this ?? i do speak english but i couldnt undertand this.

  • @javy77puyol I do understand quite a bit of it. Everything up to and including "lorry" is real slang. Afterwards, no.

  • @EjvindDark ok man

    now im practicing my english english thanks to bbc entertainment channel and little britain, i love little brittain.

    BRITAIN BRITAIN BRITAIN !!!! jajajajajaja you should try learn mexican :p

  • @javy77puyol yep, we do

  • Tea Katle!

  • Yep gatling gun, and 'Bognor Saint Regis' the place name is Bognor Regis (no St) and he also pronounces lorry wrong at the start, which makes it more funny "looorie"

  • listen to the inaudible bit, im sure he says GATLING GUN

  • @MrAjJonesss gatling gun= nun

  • Even though I usually suck at accents, I have this one totally memorized. Now when I'm teaching foreigners about American English, I confuse them by talking this way.

  • Most of the British accents are poshy.

  • Arthur Kirkland can speak like this.

  • australians talk weird english too

  • @kilkolio no shit

  • I'm British but I only understood half of that. Maybe you have to be from London to understand some of those terms?

  • SHAT

    ON

    A

    TURTLE!

    :D

  • Comment removed

  • I'm proud to say I understood that without the subtitles

  • dad? whats wrong with your neck? well i took a viagra but i had a stiff neck for hours athankyou

  • @agari508 you forgot the "it got stuck in my throat" part. :P

  • why dont you rescue me about or 8 minutes

  • I understood it all, the chrimbo ding ding lmfao- Proud to be English. Hope more of our humour travels

  • Is the shit with the ????????? subs supposed to make any sense?

  • @Anthoric

    No. That's the joke.

  • @Kerorofan1990

    Well palyed joke then hahahaa. I love it!

  • Without the subtitles I'd be soooo lost. Same goes for the thick bayou accent. I had to have my friend tell me wtf he was saying when I was trying to order some food, lol.

  • I heard Gatling gun O_o

  • ..I actually understood what they said...It's great to be british

  • I like to think this is how Brits talk all the time.

    It's nice in my version of the world

  • looool. I love austin Powers.

  • 1:09

    LMFAOROFL

  • what the hell does christmas with a scottish girl thats all 6s and 7s have to do with giving yourself a J arthur?

  • I am going to learn this language.

  • @TheAwesomeDarkNinja we shall never teach you this ancient art!

  • LOL i love the way they start the fancy music when they start to talk XD

  • 24 people are not SHAGIDLIC, BABY, YEA, hehehe...

  • i like how sixes and sevens equal insane

  • /dislike

    Fucking nerds

  • @darkofight Why are ye miffed my blud?

  • @darkofight /vote down

    Fucking idiotic, nobrain, loser jock who cant understand the funniest version of English.

  • @Yazdmich That's why you're a bunch of fucking nerds. Why would I try to think of such retardness.

  • since i am from England i understod that with out the subtitkes

  • @kingoffallou You're so English you can't spell subtitle properly.

  • @darkofight yea baby yea

  • @kingoffallou yea baby yea

  • @kingoffallou so all of that actually means something in England?

  • @helix1026 its all ryming slang that they used in about the industryal era

  • @kingoffallou Im english and I only understud a bit

  • @kingoffallou think you could teach me cockney

  • @emocoon666 I may pm you with some simple cockney slang

  • @kingoffallou Ain't that the Babe Ruth