Less Cheap Christmas Crackers Roundup | Ashens

[axelsteel21]

I have the same bottle opener that came from a cracker on my Keys :)

[metalbeak14]

nice sad onion reference..........

[brandenrailey]

Hahahahaha I was just imagining if someone happened to peep in your window as you put the hat on continued playing with all this rubbish. :)

[wafle14]

God I wish the world was on fire lmao

[Hal566]

The silver skull is hilarious :D

[EpiikTHornBusH]

all hale the king of the sofa

[supergamerds]

is the best cracker joke ever

[omastar444]

Thanks to Target, we can now get these in USA... and they suck just as bad.

[mymomrocks8]

Do you have an obsession with aircraft carriers? Ive heard you say it multiple times in recent episodes

[frodo4627]

I can't imagine how hilarious Christmas would be with crackers here in the U.S.

[ssiigguurrddhhuu]

In Norway, we only have them on one sort of kake: The kransekake :D

The crackers have crowns,and jokes inside them, but no surprises...

[northestsouth]

maybe the joke is the blank paper!

[kimalli92]

give me the toys

[DWHDEA]

Ashens you rock!

[cabossimn]

lol laser disk!

[DarthOptimus207]

Q: Why was the onion crying?

A; Because He was on a toy not suitable for kids 3 and under.

[CrankflipSundayProd]

Why was the onion crying? because he was under the age of 3

[Colausbra13]

Thumbs up if you know what a laser disk is. (end of video)

[CreedOfSatisfaction4]

15:35 Jazz fusion?!

[CebuLips9]

I don't even get the horse joke

[TarksTV]

Me gusta silverskull (Y)

[spiderman97828]

killing in the name of?

[VerWIN113]

I don't get the horse joke.

[haseo18615]

@VerWIN113 The horse has forelegs (pun on four legs) in front and two behind.

[VerWIN113]

@haseo18615 That's a terrible pun. Thanks for explaining

[Elecbound]

By any chance would the silver skull mask be constructed from tinfoil and a bit of cellophane over the eyes?

[Gallifrey103]

I can't believe the charade called said 'Dr Who' - OUTRAGE!

[22adidasman]

Why do i watch these videos and always expect to see edible crackers...

[jacrou]

10:16 "Oh man it's really thick"

[koopa1248]

were not stupid we know the silver skull was ashens

[shadowborn666]

@koopa1248, Y you so clever.

[koopa1248]

@shadowborn666 i know lol i was bien sarcastic

[sonoskay]

How can i get the laser disk of silver skull cristmas tracks??? SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!

[jman3267]

Kinder eggs have a very serious ban in the USA.

When I'm visiting my family in Canada for Christmas I have to eat the ones I get quickly since I could get busted if I tried to bring them across the border.

[jman3267]

As Seen On: Dog and Pony Show

The hell?

[NeonJ82]

I expected a reference to sad onion.

[cameronjohnagnew]

"ahaha oh i wish the world was on fire"

[Astiya05]

Last year I won a science contest, and the only thing they gave to me was a bottle opener just like that one :(

(This is real)

[1piecemage]

Christmas cracker?

instant runescape

[DazNoobs]

the weird freaky long armed santa looks like an enderman from minecraft

[JesseDCrespo]

I'm from the states, and I've never hear of or seen crackers before, until watching your vids Ashens.. then, I was at my local Walmart on New Years eve, and there they were, 6 for $10. I bought them and had a blast! I got everything you mentioned was rubbish, from the hat to the lame jokes. Thank you Ashens , for showing me these awesome yet crappy things!

[feloniousbutterfly]

@JesseDCrespo Christmas crackers are most known for the terrible jokes and a hat.

[nbarrager]

13:50 sad onion

[404correction]

Kindereggs are actually banned in America cause they think children will eat them so fast they'll eat the huge capsule inside and die :I

[boethiah12]

@404correction that is not true. they are sold here where i live.

[iAmBryanski]

LOL onions

Hahahaha

[angelogarrigosx]

all hail poundland! better then that other rubbish

[32551wyatt]

i found some at safeway in Arizona

[mickaleaf]

SILENT NIGHT! HOLY NIGHT! SILENT NIGHT! HOLY NIGHT!

[IvanPavlov]

Yay!! Release the krakers!. I love Ashen's Christmas specials.-

[MrHeinrichsen]

Do the charade cards for Oscar and see if he succeeds where man would almost certainly fail.

[Fertro]

I have a better Christmas joke.

What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs.

[pennyf9]

@Fertro hahaha! nice one

[niok123]

and now you do what they told ya.. o.o

[horrorandclassics]

It's funny because in one of my crackers I got cards like that but it was from £12 ones. They were all laminated and stuff lol

[Murdoch493]

Actually, the one with the paper in it WAS the joke! It's just not funny to the person opening it, where it's funny to the people who actually got one.

[HpFanGuy]

Is it me, or were the poundland crackers better...

[spoonballs]

@HpFanGuy you

[HpFanGuy]

@spoonballs They exploaded better, had better jokes and more or less the same crap. Give me one reason why these are better. Charades?

[Ojthemighty]

christmas sucks lolol

[Alkatross]

I have never been so glad to live in USA, where Christmas crackers do not exist.

[bethanygarrettt]

@Alkatross they do, at target. i got nyd crackers, i think. they were called "Holiday Crackers"

[Angelblackroses]

@Alkatross They do. In dollar stores, I don't even know why myself. .-.;

[Dansorganmusic]

@Alkatross I think we're doomed - I saw some at Target as 'holiday crackers' - and they looked like the ones in this video........!

[liam12347]

@Alkatross Uhh yes they do..

[ScyerZenovka]

@Alkatross Saaadly they sell them at American targets ;P

Although oddly they require ID to purchase as someone in government believes they're more dangerous than firecrackers >.>

[jcrowley1985]

@ScyerZenovka That's alright. At least us Americans are still allowed to own guns. Not sure how it is in the UK, but you guys don't have any equivilant of the second ammendment to protect you from corporate enslavement. I'd rather have my trusty model 12 then some cheap piece of paper.

[ScyerZenovka]

@jcrowley1985 :B "Us Americans"? I'm included in that...riiiiiiiiiight? Maybe you'd like to know how I know that AMERICAN Targets sell crackers? ...maybe it's because I'm *GASP* American? :P

[jcrowley1985]

@ScyerZenovka I was referring to the comment how ID is required to purchase what otherwise is a harmless fun item. And how American's can own a weapon designed to kill but needs the same type of safety checks to buy toys designed for children.

[charlottelucyy1]

@Alkatross yes they do. i'm american and i get christmas crackers every year. they're stupid but fun.

[flamezombie1]

@Alkatross Oh but they do. I found some last christmas in the clearance section at target. The invasion has begun...

[SkullCandy580]

@Alkatross they actually have them. xD ive found them

[12zelly]

@Alkatross i saw one at safeway....

[TheTechnoSauce]

@Alkatross Wrong. :D

[OoBrosephStalinoO]

@Alkatross Actually you could probably find some at the Dollar Store, or some shit store of the likes.

[1234567890nam]

@Alkatross lol christmas crackers do exist at us. i live at us and bought two boxeds of christmas crackers at fred meyer during december. check at the safety firework shelf

[DugDigUnderground]

@Alkatross Hahahaha no doubt! I've never seen one here in Texas. Viva la USA! inside joke lol

[Rcono1]

I got a paper clip in my Christmas cracker. :(

[dotchoo]

@Rcono1 ...wow.

[zhaneranger]

More poundland foods!

[jayman127884]

Isn't poundland like a dollar store in the USA?

[llj355]

@jayman127884 Yes.

[peachy6969]

That Santa desperately needs some milk and biscuits! or cookies! or mincemeat pies! or shortbread........actually he just needs food, STAT!!!

[splik]

One of these years poor old Ashens will have someone to pull his crackers with.

[Donkey0Madness]

Joker, Joker and there is Batman...

[EVILNOD6]

This year we were given a set of 6 crackers (worth £20) and inside I got a mini USB mouse that actually works pretty well, the other prizes were ok but mostly useless like a single napkin ring, cheep looking cuff links and a wine stopper which was surprisingly heavy. as always the jokes were rubbish but hey at least we were united against them.

[MrEyeballshangingout]

I tell you what Christmass gear I rediscovered recently, 'Indoor fireworks'.

Theyre great, what happens is you set one off, then 5 minutes later your all out in the back garden coughing your lungs up like a tear gas cannister has been set off in your house.

[f1alex94]

@MrEyeballshangingout I swear those things are toxic! 

[MrEyeballshangingout]

@f1alex94 Yeah better keep a canary in the room, then leg it if it drops dead.

The box recommended 'well ventilated' area, I recon what they meant was 'outside'.

[OrsoSubsonico]

I Love Silver Skull.

[DrLemonDemonMan]

is silver skull going on tour soon?

[KopyWut]

Our christmas (new years) crackers are much smaller and is made out of something that resembles gift wrapping paper. And they make a HUGE snap.

[a51nxm17x]

"god i wish the world was on fire."

[spartan117ak]

What the fuck is this skull thing!? And why is blood dripping out of my ear...

*fwomp*

[EMBvideos]

Collect all 52!

[zeffe99]

check my vids plz



[TheIrredeemable]

@zeffe99

No.....I don't think I will.

[posada432]

Silent Night

Holy Night

Silent Night

Holy Night

[posada432]

Hello ho ho

[AltF4ToWin]

That explains all the sad onions. They cut themselves due to being on tat.

[quigon87yt]

Why was the onion crying?

Because He was stuck on back of the Airphone 4 box!!!

[KillaM701]

@quigon87yt fail atttempt at copying a top comment is a fail

[quigon87yt]

@KillaM701 - You know there are I ton of sad onion variations u can say.

I'm sure someone has said something similar but there's no way I'm going to read Every! Comment! on this video just to find out, so there just call me lazy then :)

[KillaM701]

@quigon87yt yeah i commented too soon to see the whole joke:P

[TheDAllenShow]

Why did the onion cry?

Because it was a sad onion.

[Projekt52]

wow amazing. got the exact same type bottle opener in my tescos crackers, they looked slightly nicer than your crackers though.

[Fabulousitist]

GET THE EXPENSIVE ONES

[scutcheatscutch]

Imagine my disappointment when I opened up a square shaped present and received Mario Kart 7 instead of the Silver Skull album.

[Fuperbooper]

Why was the onion crying?

Because he was under 3.

[02500l]

@Fuperbooper Ba dum tsss

[KayosAvian]

I have one of those assembled aeroplanes from YEARS AGO haha!

[KiraShikaku]

Why did the onion cry?

Because it saw it's face on so much rubbish.

[Flepsikon]

does anyone else see the face in the sofa in every video?

[unoriginalizednames]

i finally got it, its refereeing to fore (front) legs and two hind legs because we dont say fore legs we instead say front legs which is why almost no one got the joke

[AbsoluteNugget]

Santa's Beard? That's not a They Might Be Giants cover, is it?

[Leopardskinny]

We got the Tesco ones shown here this year (the mid range ones with the grubby playing cards) and they were all just as shit as the ones shown. Other gifts included a plastic flower keychain, and a giant plastic paperclip 'bookmark'. However I suggest reviewing Harrods' 'Silver Bling Crackers' next year.. only £299 for 6! Bargain!

[lewisfoxy1]

Can I please purchase the Silver Skull of Christmas.

[haributo]

the onion joke...wow just wow

[a3poify]

I actually got the red one with the horse joke. Nobody got it until about 5 minutes later when the food was brought out.

[HannahRulzzzzzz]

I HAD THE GOLD ONE AT XMAS

[xmojojoeox]

Silver skull.....  must have cd...

[herpderp117]

Ashens, its amazing how you make normal things look totally shit.

[drunkrdm]

a bowling pin charm? o.O

[Yinyang123RBLX]

lool sad onion

[brageyboy]

Swedish ones look so different, at least the ones I remember only had candy in them. No charge thing that blows and the ends are frilly. Quite liked them as a kid though we didn't have terrible toys and jokes in ours. :P

[SlobbyHill]

Lol, "Spraying dirt everywhere" Just picturing that, made me lol.

[WinVisten]

diamond encrusted aircraft carrier... Gets me every time!

[LeXiMoLe97]

The 3rd telco ones where 16 for £15 cause my mum brought them :P

[DICarlisle]

Q: Why did the Onion Cry?

Ashens Reply: Because he was a Sad Onion. :D



[Maestro2514]

Solution (pause) HAHAHA

[Slash0mega]

honestly, i would stick with the dollar, er, i mean pound land ones, i would rather a chance at a loud satisfying pop that may or may not follow safety regulations than slightly better quality nick knacks that i may or may not have a use for (except the bowling set, that is awesome)

[ManyRamblingsOfAlex]

I want that Christmas CD!

[MuttonAndTheHam]

Are these things like UK only...because in the USA, the only crackers I know, are the ones you eat and a derogatory slur

[Slash0mega]

@MuttonAndTheHam he talked about this at the beginning of the video

[PixelGenMedia]

15:37, you must be stoned off your tits mr ashens

[PixelGenMedia]

I got that fucking spring.

[grrr9]

Son of Rocket Santa...?

[AJobv]

i got that bottle opener :3 

[BeastlyBoltz]

well i forgot how to turn off the video and sat through the silver skulls terrifying christmas tracks

[Karimbus1]

Did anyone actually understand the horse joke?

[MrNAGN]

@Karimbus1 2 behinds = two rears?

[weeryan2008]

@Karimbus1 I instantly thought of someone boning a horse.

[pandaphil]

@Karimbus1 Yes, though I wish to God I didn't. It says "The horse has forelegs in front, two in back."

[lazah395]

@Karimbus1 Nope.

[MTchipmunk]

@Karimbus1 *Forelegs :P ;)

[gemmaarrowsmith]

@Karimbus1 The front legs are called "forelegs". It's a pun. A shit pun, agreed.

[masonlebourn]

@Karimbus1 fore legs are at the front. hind legs are at the back. turn fore in to four and you got six

[masonlebourn]

@Karimbus1 i was beaten to it -.-

[juddylovespizza]

@Karimbus1

Its a play on words. "Fore" legs... yeah still doesn't really make any sense..

[giratina4950]

@Karimbus1 my sister owns a horse and i still dont get it whats the joke

[furiousajp]

@Karimbus1 Yes. The horse has two legs in the back and forelegs in the front.

[xXIIISaMIIIXx]

@furiousajp no, 4 real legs in the front, and a tail and a dick

[furiousajp]

@xXIIISaMIIIXx ha. ha. ha.

[MrRussian19]

Emo onions

[TheRealBombdog]

i always thought it was '...name OF', but I think its actually '...name-muh'...

[Simowl]

I got a pen in my cracker :D

[TheSanTheMapper]

Frostbite!

[bionicle2809]

This year, I got a puzzle in one of my crackers. It was one of those things where you're given two bent pieces of metal and a ring and told to get the ring out. After various members of my family completed the puzzle, I had a go and not being able to understand the stupid instructions I just pulled the cheap 'metal' apart and broke it... I then broke everything else that was in the other crackers (:

[PiXiePloTT]

i use to work from home,making crackers for a PITTANCE. :(

[Sledrave]

I got a blank joke in a cracker this year, too...

[bland9876]

@sprocketman1998 13 sad onions cut themselves

[bland9876]

Where do I get that cd

[culturalrebel]

8:45

Look at it this way: it's funnier than all the other jokes in Christmas crackers.

[llj355]

I love the way he reacts to seeing the bowling set.

[alphermail]

I got a mini screwdriver set in my cracker :)

[IamNatatos]

This was my first Christmas with were I had crackers. I got a pair of scissors in mine...

[Mr8277546]

I had a cracker this year, it had a small jigsaw puzzlde in it, it had 3 pieces missing! Devastated

[madcapoperator]

Ashens live in concert? do it!

[000dom000]

5:43 UHUHOIGH

[MrKrupp42]

utter shit

[Link00065]

When you said the super expensive ones will come from M&S, probably not. I THINK that this year the M&S ones are a direct rip off of those "expensive" Tescos ones.

[minster10]

Want to see Ashens with the hat on