Victoria, this is the most wise advise I have yet to hear/read concerning this mother issue. I am working through my own healing, and I watch this video often - when I need encouragement and strength. Thank you thank you thank you.
Dear Veya, my heart goes out to you. Your mother sounds just like my mother. Because of your letter, I am learning to feel for myself. Thank you! I wish you the best and please know
that you are not alone in the struggle. I am right there with you. Peace and Much Love to YOU!!!
hard to set boundaries when im living in her house =.= she tore up her slippers out of anger in front of me. >.> but I stood my ground, hopefully she'll give me boundary i need
Omg this sounds like my mother, she always makes me feel gulity in any conversation and end feeling sorry for her even though am hurt. Anyways thanks for the upload.
I decided not to go back for more abuse since my mother's skill is beyond my comprehension and I don't think she'll get help. Nevertheless, I still have that tiny flash of hope. But right now, I can't be with her in any kind of relationship until I get to know myself and get my boundaries worked out. This has so affected me. It should be criminal. My compassion to those who've suffered as I have...and I hope we all get the much needed love and healing we needed in the first place. TY so much V!
Wow what a sharp contrast you present compared to my parents. Supportive, reasonable, fun - gee I'm older than you but I'd adopt you as my mother if possible.
I was thought it was just my brother who was violent and my mom seemed to think it was my fault - he was given every excuse, no matter how crazy, he had carte blanche to attack. As an adult I realized she used my brother to carry out her abuse. I shut him out for good reason, she constantly tries to bring him & his violence back into my life & passes on greetings from him to try to patch it up! I ask her to stop, I left for a year b/c of it, then she just did it again, so what else can I do?
this is so simeler to my story ,ik break up 4 month ago whit my parent im depressend for many many years i suffer from axciety and bacause of my childhood
mental and emotinel abuese was hapend every day!
im 45 years old and the mental abuese from my mother diddend stop ,i coud not go on whit here anymore it destroys me so i break up but im suffering every day and don't no waht to do i feel so ressponseble for them and feel qiulty an well ,
I remember going to the military school when I was 17 and the Sargent said... I am going to make your life a hell... I laughed and said to him.
You dont have idea what hell means. Move to my place and you will find that out. I am going thru the same thing and I decided not to talk to any of my family relatives and specially mom. So I can leave my life in peace.
OMG - this video is a lifesaver - I can't even speak to my mother at the moment because she doesn't listen. This video mirrors almost exactly what I've been through. I am an only child and I am now 37 and she treats me like a child, puts people down (unless they're running round after her) - so frustrating - AAARRRGGGHHH!!
Atm I’m struggling with my narcissistic obnoxious Dad. He emotionally abuses/bullys me every chance he gets. You made me think I can have a father-daughter relationship but to stop hurting myself i need to stop wasting energy to find the genuine parental love i need. Hard when I’ve just come out of a domestic violence relationship and he’s the only family/support i have. But maybe without feeling the constant unnecessary rejection i can spend time reconnecting to my own feelings.
Why even see her mother once a month to fight off the guilt? Wouldn't it be more prudent to look into the guilt and heal so you don't feel the guilt when you don't see someone who consistently hurts you?
@adaywillcome its kind difficult to explain but I am in the same boat and there is no healing because its not our fault. But the other person, and the reason why we go just to visit is because there will be always a conection, even knowing that person hurt more than does any good to you. My mom loves me, but she is the only person in this world that knows how to make me lose my control to the point I will put a knife on my chest. She cries but she keep driving me crazy. I dont know why.
OMG! it like u read exactly my life and how my mother is. i am sitting here laughing cuz i can so relate to this girl story. i always tell my mom she is the core to my emotions n problems becuz i was raised with her at home n she is who i admired as a child n she made me feel bad. thanks for making me feel better n feel like i am not alone esp on this subject.
Wow! This lady's letter sounds almost exactly like my mother. Except for her crying-it was more like her swearing and screaming at me at the end of our argument. Spooky....
And, yeppers, you cannot control manipulative people-best to let them stew in their own juices.
I went out to play in that big wonderful world. Dont miss mom a bit...or the violence.
@skeletonmom sounds like my mom too... my mom does the crying bit once in awhile but usually it's the shouting and screaming and ridiculing. Then more ridiculing and criticizing me of my pessimism/self-criticism.
I also can't really "disconnect" from her to the extent that I need to, because until I have a job at least so I don't need to go to my parents for things like books for school or a laptop repair... even though it's my dad's money, she always takes total control.
this was like talking to me directly. thank you very much, you are really helping me. I have a similar situation and unfortunately, i still live in her house although i am 28 and will be working in a cooperation wth her, all my life....cannot avoid it. so have to set the boundaries. and disconnect
Victoria, this is the most wise advise I have yet to hear/read concerning this mother issue. I am working through my own healing, and I watch this video often - when I need encouragement and strength. Thank you thank you thank you.
eckleburg22 6 days ago
Dear Veya, my heart goes out to you. Your mother sounds just like my mother. Because of your letter, I am learning to feel for myself. Thank you! I wish you the best and please know
that you are not alone in the struggle. I am right there with you. Peace and Much Love to YOU!!!
Monikblessed 1 month ago in playlist More videos from askvictoria
omgoodness she is awesome! parents often try to play the vicitm and dont realize that the comments the make hurt thier children.
ddanaebishop 3 months ago in playlist psych stuff
hard to set boundaries when im living in her house =.= she tore up her slippers out of anger in front of me. >.> but I stood my ground, hopefully she'll give me boundary i need
sueryun 4 months ago
Omg this sounds like my mother, she always makes me feel gulity in any conversation and end feeling sorry for her even though am hurt. Anyways thanks for the upload.
Realmissy22 6 months ago
thank you for this advice
kmtaylor88 9 months ago
I decided not to go back for more abuse since my mother's skill is beyond my comprehension and I don't think she'll get help. Nevertheless, I still have that tiny flash of hope. But right now, I can't be with her in any kind of relationship until I get to know myself and get my boundaries worked out. This has so affected me. It should be criminal. My compassion to those who've suffered as I have...and I hope we all get the much needed love and healing we needed in the first place. TY so much V!
juzzsaying 9 months ago
Wow what a sharp contrast you present compared to my parents. Supportive, reasonable, fun - gee I'm older than you but I'd adopt you as my mother if possible.
ItsJustTimeTo 10 months ago
VICTORIA. I HAVE WATCHED MANY OF YOUR VIDEOS. YOU HAVE MANAGED
TO SIMPLIFY COMPLEXITY WITH AGILITY. THANK YOU. ALSO, I LOVE YOUR
HAIR !!!
contemplations100 10 months ago
I was thought it was just my brother who was violent and my mom seemed to think it was my fault - he was given every excuse, no matter how crazy, he had carte blanche to attack. As an adult I realized she used my brother to carry out her abuse. I shut him out for good reason, she constantly tries to bring him & his violence back into my life & passes on greetings from him to try to patch it up! I ask her to stop, I left for a year b/c of it, then she just did it again, so what else can I do?
jtking2504 1 year ago
wow i really needed to hear that and thanks for your easy to understand approach
astrozier1 1 year ago
this is so simeler to my story ,ik break up 4 month ago whit my parent im depressend for many many years i suffer from axciety and bacause of my childhood
mental and emotinel abuese was hapend every day!
im 45 years old and the mental abuese from my mother diddend stop ,i coud not go on whit here anymore it destroys me so i break up but im suffering every day and don't no waht to do i feel so ressponseble for them and feel qiulty an well ,
my body react v]ferry strongly bacause of this !
mickster1965 1 year ago
I have to say that too
STORY OF MY LIFE
I remember going to the military school when I was 17 and the Sargent said... I am going to make your life a hell... I laughed and said to him.
You dont have idea what hell means. Move to my place and you will find that out. I am going thru the same thing and I decided not to talk to any of my family relatives and specially mom. So I can leave my life in peace.
RonaldBarone 1 year ago
Story of my life.
The healthiest I ever felt and was was in the years I was away, not in touch. If it depends on me , no contact will be there.
DayaTom7 1 year ago
OMG - this video is a lifesaver - I can't even speak to my mother at the moment because she doesn't listen. This video mirrors almost exactly what I've been through. I am an only child and I am now 37 and she treats me like a child, puts people down (unless they're running round after her) - so frustrating - AAARRRGGGHHH!!
kfenton1 1 year ago
Atm I’m struggling with my narcissistic obnoxious Dad. He emotionally abuses/bullys me every chance he gets. You made me think I can have a father-daughter relationship but to stop hurting myself i need to stop wasting energy to find the genuine parental love i need. Hard when I’ve just come out of a domestic violence relationship and he’s the only family/support i have. But maybe without feeling the constant unnecessary rejection i can spend time reconnecting to my own feelings.
AFairySlinky 1 year ago
Comment removed
AFairySlinky 1 year ago
Comment removed
AFairySlinky 1 year ago
God I wish I had heard this 20 years ago. :(
SpacyStacy32 1 year ago
Why even see her mother once a month to fight off the guilt? Wouldn't it be more prudent to look into the guilt and heal so you don't feel the guilt when you don't see someone who consistently hurts you?
adaywillcome 1 year ago
@adaywillcome its kind difficult to explain but I am in the same boat and there is no healing because its not our fault. But the other person, and the reason why we go just to visit is because there will be always a conection, even knowing that person hurt more than does any good to you. My mom loves me, but she is the only person in this world that knows how to make me lose my control to the point I will put a knife on my chest. She cries but she keep driving me crazy. I dont know why.
RonaldBarone 1 year ago
OMG! it like u read exactly my life and how my mother is. i am sitting here laughing cuz i can so relate to this girl story. i always tell my mom she is the core to my emotions n problems becuz i was raised with her at home n she is who i admired as a child n she made me feel bad. thanks for making me feel better n feel like i am not alone esp on this subject.
BRONXPEPE 2 years ago
Wow! This lady's letter sounds almost exactly like my mother. Except for her crying-it was more like her swearing and screaming at me at the end of our argument. Spooky....
And, yeppers, you cannot control manipulative people-best to let them stew in their own juices.
I went out to play in that big wonderful world. Dont miss mom a bit...or the violence.
skeletonmom 2 years ago 7
@skeletonmom sounds like my mom too... my mom does the crying bit once in awhile but usually it's the shouting and screaming and ridiculing. Then more ridiculing and criticizing me of my pessimism/self-criticism.
I also can't really "disconnect" from her to the extent that I need to, because until I have a job at least so I don't need to go to my parents for things like books for school or a laptop repair... even though it's my dad's money, she always takes total control.
:-/
RocknCorruptrepublic 1 month ago in playlist Relationship issues
@RocknCorruptrepublic - I wish you good things in life, Rock. Hope you find a job soon. Hang in there...HUGS!
skeletonmom 1 month ago
she sounds just like my mother also
WeThePeopleRleaders 2 years ago
Yes dear Veya!
Thanks for your letter. Keep up the good work. Many are benefiting.
Warmly, Victoria
askvictoria 2 years ago
Boundaries are the key.
Keep working on it.
Warmly,
Victoria Lorient-Faibish MEd, CCC
askvictoria 2 years ago
this was like talking to me directly. thank you very much, you are really helping me. I have a similar situation and unfortunately, i still live in her house although i am 28 and will be working in a cooperation wth her, all my life....cannot avoid it. so have to set the boundaries. and disconnect
ematakou 2 years ago
U HAVE SO MUCH WISDOM. GOD BLESS
onegreeneye 2 years ago
this was very, very relevant to my situation. Not all of it, but a lot of it.
Thank you.
NirvanaOnEarth90 2 years ago
OMG.. your videos are always so relevant to my life.
my mom acts like this all the time
ssips720 2 years ago
I'm dancing as fast as I can!
Warmly, Victoria
askvictoria 2 years ago
once a month, seriously
swiv2d 2 years ago