Added: 5 years ago
From: oneoffmanmental
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  • Jaime Oliver is a repulsive little man.

  • I would totally eat that piled-together posh food.

  • Charlie is hilarious at 0:15.

  • I love the fucking brits!

  • Jamie's enthusiasm for the job is pretty admirable actually.

  • haha, in passing I mention that I went to school with him and log-in 8 months later to find I'm still getting people calling bullshit on it. :P That's why this stupid thumbsup/thumbsdown system isn't worth the hassle.

    Absolutely not BS btw, he went to Newport Free Grammar in essex, his dad(who is actually a half decent guy) owned a pub in Rickling Green, he had a poshboy Hertfordshire accent(not this essex one he puts on these days). But most importantly he was an insufferable little shite. :P

  • which episode is that off?

  • fucking hate Blair!!

  • Seriously, Jamie Oliver has changed the way food is distributed in the American school system-- a racket that is so corrupt and entrenched that he should be commended for it. He's done a lot of good over here. If you aren't proud of your own countrymen because ... I have no idea... he has a cooking show? What exactly has he done wrong exactly? If someone could explain this to me without being a whiny little bitch, I'd appreciate it.

  • @Mangina9000 coz he's a prick.

  • @Mangina9000 because he did a massive publicity stunt over here about school food which bassically jacked up food costs around the country for almost everyone that it is so much cheaper to go to a bakery and buy a couple of sausage rolls and a slice of cake.

    however what he did in America was great, I know how bad your education system is over there.

  • Why is Jamie Oliver revolting? He's helped millions of people not die.

  • Jamie Oliver is a revolting little man..

  • @LaMonsieurYoung clever. i liked your use of the word 'revolting'. made you seem more intelligent somehow.

  • I love the idea of Tony Blair being Jamie Oliver's bitch ...

  • I love the word cunt

  • @shrapn0 cunt

  • @oli696969 cunt

  • Observation about Oliver offering food in exchange for the boy's juice: Do children these days not get told not to talk to strangers? Especially ones who offer them food? And especially ones who are cunts?

    Speaking of cunts, I love the subtle use of Running the World in the background during this.

  • Go on hand it over you c*nt.

  • w ww.rehblogs.blogspot.com

  • What show is this? And is it on DVD? its so funny!!!

  • @anonymouslolxD It's Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe. And alas, I don't think it is on DVD - but with a bit of digging you can probably find most of it up here on YouTube.

  • Mira que me cae bien Brooker, pero es que los ingleses no aprenderán a comer bien en la vida.

  • Bit ironic that Mr. Cameron praises him when his Coalition administration now seems to want nothing to do with school dinner regulation... bbc.co.uk/news/education-15888­966

  • even though i enjoy healthy food more- I WANT TURKEY TWIZZLERS! for gods sake!

  • @InfamousTEESSIDE The best school food. ever.

  • Jamie Oliver recipe cards in the Daily Mail - enough fucking said

  • 1:46 to watch Charlie get slapped over and over again.

  • He has some really good recipes and I have a lot of his books.

    However, when I came into year 8 and I could no longer buy chocolate, life got a lot harder.

  • dear jamie, not everything needs olive oil on it

  • @InfamousTEESSIDE I miss fucking turkey twizzlers

  • Brooker - spot on!

  • What's the big problem? If JO tried to make you drink poison i think you were more relaxed ... it's just healthy food .. and healthy doesn`t mean that tasteless.

  • @Bubululumumu yeah, healthy food can be good and good food can be healthy. folks just get tired of the hyper-emphasis of the whole damn thing. every thing on media seems to underline that "if you're not eating healthy, you're less of a human being". that annoys me. my diet IS somewhat sane, but it was my choice. when i decide to eat trashfood (sic), i should be allowed to. and i am. yet i hear some people going "EEK! NOT HEALTHY!" at me. annoys me aswell, sry.

  • @somberlight i know exactly how you feel. in MY school on the other hand- they talk about eating healthily when they serve pizza like breads for breakfast and all the food is 'healthy' but literally tastes of shit.

  • I've never had a Turkey Twizzler and i never will. :( Thanks; you dick.

  • Whats funny is Jamie Oliver is hardly Mr. Thin is he?

  • Jamie Oliveoil

  • david cameron is such a slimey cunt

  • Charlie Brooker is right, Jamie Oliver is a hypocrite: "Eat healthy food!!" Later on.... "Mince pies!!!!!!!!!"

    What a dickwash.

  • Sorry Miss, I won't do that again. Sorry Miss

  • How about letting us eat what we want and encouraging more exercise instead?

  • @ChromaAurora Exercise barely does anything. Even if you do intense cardio for a couple of hours a day, you won't burn more than a few hundred extra calories. Jamie Oliver isn't trying to force his ideas on adults, he just wants to make the school food healthier for kids.

  • @squreshi10 "exercise barely does anything", mate/darling you're a retard!

  • I went to school with Jamie Oliver, he was an absolute cunt back then too

  • @RagdollPhysics did he complain about the school food, LOL

  • @RagdollPhysics So basically you are as old as he is and you have nothing better to do than complain about him on youtube? -.-

  • @RagdollPhysics that has made my day.

  • @RagdollPhysics You don't have to lie to get a few thumbs up mate

  • @RagdollPhysics What a load of bullshit

  • @RagdollPhysics did he tell you what to eat

  • @RagdollPhysics You went to school with Jamie Oliver and didn't know who the fuck he was. Mr. Whiny Envy.

  • @Mangina9000 actually I wish him every success, he lucked out - wasn't supposed to be in work the day the beeb offered him a show, they were filming a documentry at his work, he turned up and started donging around in the kitchen trying to get on TV - near as I can tell, he's worked his arse off ever since, so well done him. But it doesn't stop him from being a cunt though.

  • Did Charlie Brooker just nick an idea from Nineteen Eighty-Four? Ah well, he's too awesome for it to matter; plus he's mentioned he's read it so he's not appearing on my twat indicator.

  • As much as I agree that we need healthier school meals, JO went too far. I'm on board with the idea of providing healthy school meals for kids, but you can't force them to eat it. It's the forceful aspect that pisses me off.

  • Who exactly is Charlie Brooker? seems like a bellend to me.

  • jamie's just a fat wanker with a drum kit !

  • Comment removed

  • Normally like charlie brooker but he seems to have missed the point on this one.

  • I love Charlie Brooker, but I couldn't concentrate on what he was saying because I realized the he looks like a white version of Morpheus in this video.

  • @TheBighairyfart

    Thanks for clarifying!

  • I keep on hearing people say Jamie Oliver is middle class (as in the description to this video) but to me he sounds incredibly working class, with his strong Essex accent and his inability to string a coherent sentence together without at least one glaring grammatical error.

  • WOW! David Cameron back in 2006... he never managed to shake off that plastic look did he? :(

  • I swear that is diet coke.......

  • GO ON 'AND IT OVER YOU C*NT!

  • the slap at the end must be CGI'ed, nobody slaps brooker in the face and gets away with it.

  • Jamie Oliver is not a problem! He loves eating sweets but the way that people are consuming them is not healthy!

  • @TheFleurDeMer jamie oliver is clinically obese.

  • Jamie Oliver was evidently been raped by a fatty burger and still hasn't forgot...

  • Check my page for an exclusive remix of Magic Happens by Jamie Oliver

  • I am absolutely fucking sick of JAMIE OLIVER and every other tedious middle class health fascist out there. I and most other kids i knew grew up eating fish fingers, chips, burgers and everything else now considered poison. But that was in the 60's &70's before smug little pricks like JO stuck their noses into our lives. And yet i have survived to the grand old age of 50 and i suspect the vast majority of my classmates have as well. Shove your health crap up your arse OLIVER & piss off .

  • He was showing sugary treats because it was a HOLIDAY special. Nothing wrong with having treats on a holiday. The guy's just trying to help. Have a heart attack why don;t you.

  • @swangardian well said

    

  • nutrionists can kiss the hairist part of my arse. forceing people to live a the way you think is right is basicly nazism

  • @MrZeus141 Isn't it though?

  • @GriffinNary yep i mean im not fat lol but ppl should live the way they feel is the way best for them. its called freedom (braveheart style XD)

  • @MrZeus141 i shaved my ass yesterday, its bare as, it feels weird

  • 53 people couldn't get it up for Tony Blair.

  • Jamie Oliver... all his recipes are fattening and stodgy. And HE is overweight too. No wonder nobody listens to a fucking word he says.

  • Yes, Charlie is always right. Step aside Mr Cameron.

  • best shit ever!!! haha

  • "Some people STILL WON'T EAT WHAT THEY'RE TOLD!"

  • I'm a student and I'm totally for healthy foods at school. If I want some junk I eat it at home, while playing video games or something..

  • I don't like Jamie Oliver because on Jamie's Fowl Dinners he gassed male chicks.

    OK, so it happens in the egg industry, that all cockerel chicks are gassed as they are redundant, but him doing it to demonstrate really is a senseless waste of life.

    If that isn't being a prick, then I don't know what is.

  • @ChromaAurora first time on YouTube comment I've actually thought you know what this.person is 100% bang on

  • @ChromaAurora Killing 6 million Jews is being a 'prick' (as is ignorantly attacking religion itself)... but yes, Jamie still is a little prickish in some ways.

  • reminds me of Bill Hicks

  • I bypassed all this shit by just having packed lunches.

  • They got rid of all the vending machines in my school cos of Jamie Oliver -.-

  • Jarvis' "Running the World" behind Blair and Cameron... Genius.

  • @flapsify Yeah spot on!

  • At least they serve junk food up in my college. Good old independant A level college with its expensive food. Its a high price to pay but I wouldn't have it any other way...wait what am I saying I have to pay 2.50 for some fries, fuck them too.

  • Last year Charlie Brooker suggested a campaign to beat the X Factor to Xmas #1 by releasing a 15 second track of children saying 'Simon Cowell: Shit for ears' a few times with all proceeds going to charity. The campaign to make this happen in 2011 has begun... check it out on Facebook by searching for "Simon Cowell, shit for ears" - 2011 XMAS campaign.

  • What is the tune in the beginning of the clip? I know I got it somewehere, but I can't remember what it's called!!!!

    HELP!

    ... someone?

  • @cantona70 its cunts are still running the world by jarvis cocker

  • I remember watching Super Size Me and thinking "okay, so you're saying McDonald's is bad for you. Two things:

    1) You're not meant to live on just ONE food: I'm pretty sure you'll feel ill if you lived on nothing but salad for a month too.

    2) At least you survived on it! I'm pretty sure that if you ate and drank nothing you'd be dead in a week."

  • My school had the same routine. Pizza monday and friday. Nuggets and fries on tuesday. Peanut butter wednesday. Mystery meat thursday (AND THEY CALLED IT THIS WTH) Once in a while they would change up for meatballs and spaghetti with something like string beans. My school however didnt serve this on plates. It always came in this aluminum foil pre packaged thing like a tv dinner. The peanut butter jelly was more like a turnover filled with stuff. Pizza was nasty no one ate it.

  • Oh tony for shame!

  • @2285utubej yeah he's not really helping his case by accepting money from sainsburys to sell overly sugery foods. He's not doing this out of the goodnes of his heart he's doing this over the fact he wants more money. (Plus I think he's trying to get himself a knighthood and being a celebrity charity workier is the fastest way to do that now)

  • Esta bien que comas unos pasteles de vez en cuando, como en navidad, o fiestas, pero todos los días, eso no...

  • OH NO OH MY GAWWWWD I CANT EAT CIPS AND SAUSAGE ROLLS AND IRN BRU AT SC|HOOOL ANYMORE BOOO THE FUCK WHOOOLOOOOOOOOO.

    no one fucking cares, try eating other shit then you absolute fucks

  • Thanks Oliver, got rid of mini sausage rolls for my morning break, twat.

  • 0:17 - thats a diet drink, so its OK

  • I hate these fucking ''nutrionists'' on television exagerrating that if you eat just a bit of fast food then you are basically killing yourself.

    Or if you drink some coke it will make your stomach bleed,

    It's called moderation, not treating a piece of cake like if it were heroin!

  • @TrollandDie nutrionist isn't even a legally protected word, you don't need training or even to take any kind of test.

    I could be a nutritionist, hey everyone! eat cakes. I'm a nutrionist!

  • @Roboshi2007 Yes Sir!!

  • @Roboshi2007 Actually, I'm not such a huge fan of cake... but since you're a nutritionist, I'd probably better.

  • @TrollandDie well, to be fair jamie was quite right in much of his critique but brooker does have a point here.

  • @TrollandDie they aren't just eating a bit of it though, these kids eat this shit near daily

  • @pigeonpsycho In other shows they also state many times how bad it is without talking about eating it in moderation is OK. If you don't do that and just go on about the negative qualities it reinforces not eating it AT ALL is the only way to lose weight, be healthy etc.

  • @TrollandDie tbh if Hitler was still alive it wouldn't be a problem

  • @TrollandDie /watch?v=uDYba0m6ztE

  • @etocadet Can I just say thank you for that reply.

    Dara is my favourite stand-up comedian!

  • @TrollandDie Nah, he's just picking on the fattish kids

  • @TrollandDie you're right. in moderation it's fine. the problem is that this is what these kids are eating almost every day for lunch. they are not eating the stuff in moderation at all.

  • jamie oliver runied my school lunches we used to have good food yes it was unhealthy but we had a health option before no one eat it then jamie comes along and all we had was the health option so i did not eat lunch after that

  • @Chriseycarlyeah324 you do realise thats not a bad thing eating the healthy option is like drinking a diet beer in a pub its social suicide

  • charlie brooker is... i would say god but there clearly isnt one of those or oliver wouldnt have been able to be the over the top twat he is in the first place.

  • Damn, I didn't know that in GB you can say on national TV that your PM is someone's bitch or that he's been fucked in the ass. Seriously, you Brits are so cool.

  • @Petrikau True. It's amazing what you yanks put up with!

  • @Petrikau

    Yep, Britain is awesome. We also have a regular PMs question time, where the PM answers quesitons form MPs (obviously). It's not perfect, but we have it pretty good in terms of democracy here. Only problem is that our PM and deputy PM and both complete dicks.

  • @Petrikau ... why the hell couldn't you? You can say what you want.

  • @Mysterious0Bob Then you in the UK are lucky. No commercial TV in Poland, where I come from, would dare to broadcast that, let alone national. Officialy, there is no cenzorship in Poland but there are other forms of preassue that goverment can use.

  • @Petrikau Britain sucks, they even had to rename Teenage mutant ninja turtles to Teenage mutant hero turtles because ninjas were too violent.

  • @Ninjistic thats utter BOLLOCKS, its always been teenage mutant ninja turtles. stop making up shit.

  • @tiddlywinks98712 accentually he's not. but you may be to young to know that ;)

  • @tiddlywinks98712 The European PAL versions of TMNT games were titled, "Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles." I suspect though it has less to do with violence and more along the lines of copyright issues.

  • @Ninjistic what, in the the same way the US renamed "The Legend of Zelda: The Triforce of the Gods" to "link to the past" because of religious connotations in the title?

  • @Petrikau You know what cooler? It the BBC so the government funds it!

  • @Petrikau Unlike most countries who spout "free speech"as a given, for the most part we can say what we like.

    (Although say the wrong thing to the wrong person and naturally you pi** people off)

  • @Petrikau it's a beautoful thing called public service, and they don't censor. y'see, having state television and radio works brilliantly but try telling that to bill o'reilly.

  • @Petrikau Where are you from? If it's the us, I'm really surprised, what with the first amendment and all...

  • @Petrikau I am glad you still think we can be cool despite the embarrassing clip of our embarrassing current prime minister "licking Jamie's a*se" (WHO WE VOTED AS A NATION TO BE THE MOST POWERFUL MAN IN THE ENTIRE COUNTRY) David Cameron, I think most of the country is now very sorry at our choice because worst case scenario it could be a George W Bush like nail of stupidity in the coffin of cool our image, if it's any consolation there is zero chance he will be re-elected.

  • @MrClassi no, he wasn't. He was voted to be leader of Labour and Labour got more seats. He's not voted in like a president is. The Queen is still the most powerful person in the country.

  • @CruelSculpture "The Queen is the most powerful person in the country." I can't even insult that it's just so... well it's just stupid, I guess you could be clever but if so you must unimaginably ignorant.

    "He was voted to be leader of Labour" David Cameron is leader of the Conservative party

    "Labour got more seats" The conservatives got more seats

    You may have thought I meant Gordon Brown (the previous prime minister) but I never mentioned him once...

    I hope you are not old enough to vote

  • @MrClassi I for one blame drink. I knew what I meant. I thought you wrote Blair because he showed Blair first. this show was aired whilst Blair was still in power. The queen being most powerful is considering we're still a constitutional monarchy and the armed forces swear allegiance to her.

    If this was also produced by the BBC it means that tax payers money was used to insult the prime minister.

  • @CruelSculpture You were/are drunk that makes sense, in fact it's good plan for the 2-1000 years of tory power

    PS I can't think of a better way to spend the TV license than on Cameron insults.

  • @CruelSculpture the queen has no power what so ever... she is a figurehead, she signs off laws because it's tradition... she's a glorified tourist attraction, who from time to time raises money for charity

  • @alsdaftable and generates £840million worth in tax revenue on tourism alone.

    also The Queen having now power? haw haw. youtube not being long enough to explain why but I'd like to direct you to do research on the matter. 

  • @CruelSculpture the queen, has no say in any of the laws passed, if parliament voted to get rid off the queen tomorrow it'd be bye -bye queeny... I not saying I'm anti royalist, she just has no power as well she shouldn't

  • @alsdaftable They'd vote no for a variety of reasons. if they did vote yes, they'd have to get her royal assent to pass the bill to get rid of her.

  • @CruelSculpture no.. they'd just abolish the fact that a royal ascent is necessary.. when was the last time the queen went 'hang on a minute I don't quite like that law?' when was the last time she had a law altered? you really think that if she suddenly decided to dissolve parliament to rule as is her divine right, we wouldn't all go...'err hang on a minute you dosy old mare.. there is no god!'

  • @Petrikau or un opressed

  • @Petrikau Wait..... so in America you can't say anything rude about Obama? I thought you guys humped the free speech thing daily.

  • @Petrikau lol you mean you can't in America?! I thought America was a country that rants and raves about bucketloads of shit, one of the highest claims being freedom of speech??? Your country is weird!

    And Michelle Bachmann running for president?!? Conclusion: America is fucking retarded.

  • @djdogjuam yeah i live in the south... lol if bachmann wins, im moving to england.

  • Jamie Oliver's cause is nobel, sure he rakes in the cash and sells himself in the process, but no one can honestly say he is doing a bad thing. Brookers point isnt that Jamie is wrong, but we should be reflexive about the messages we see on TV and always keep a critical eye.

  • Well its true kids are getting right little fatties these days =0

  • Alright, I'm not a big fan of Oliver, but what's wrong with him getting publicity for himself? He is quite right about the conditions in schools. And the stuff he advertises is mainly for home cooking, in which I see nothing wrong. It's not like he's in Lays or Pepsi commercials. Charlie is still awesome though.

  • @DrCornwallis100 he always has a very good point.

  • funny as fuck when he mashed up all the posh food into a pile, it looked horrible

  • @jimmyshitbags Brooker, Oliver, don't you know some people in the world are starving?

  • this annoyed me! Oliver trying to put healthy food in schools! I would eat that shit he was serving up!

  • i want to jump on his head!

  • Fucking Oliver, he made our school get rid of fish fingers and replaced them with pasta

  • The David Cameron line at 1.34 is nauseating - is he complaining LAbour were doing too much interferring in education, or not enough?!

  • Why is everyone so upset by Oliver? However he does it, at least he is putting forward this issue and looking to do something about it. You may think that you can treat your body like shit and it has no effect on anyone else but that's not true; if not your friends and family then the doctors who have to treat your fat ass

  • @dotters123 They treat skinny asses too.

  • @AlysonGarrettt

    Schools never have pizza, I can't remember ever visiting a school in my life that has Pizza full-time.

  • @BelfastAtheist I am not so so much agianst you remember that.

    I even hope the best to you that u would move for better human.

    Maybe God bless you, who knows.

    I will not to spend my time vainly with you, you see big verbal wars.

    There isn't a winner actually. a verbal war to the aged. no end ever.

    that is all stupid.

    no sense.

    PERIOD.

    AMEN.

  • moving back & forth talking to that kid i would of wondered what drug hes on that he needs to keep moving for lol

  • Comment removed

  • I resent Jamie Olivier- he takes away kid's freedom on what they want to eat.

  • My school's tuck shop used to sell good old-fashioned ordinary red coca cola, full of sugary goodness, but after Jamie I'm-a-cunt Oliver's whiparound we've got fruit juice instead...

    FRUIT JUICE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

  • @WIFIM0NKEY haha aww man. I'm SO glad i got out of school before his abomination of a show hit the screen, a few years after i left they removed all the vending machines and replaced chips with new potatoes!!

    what kid eats new fucking potatoes!

  • I love his hatred for Jamie Oliver, who he once described as "Roy Hattersley Jr."