Added: 1 year ago
From: DarkMatter2525
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  • dat darth and dat neenjah

  • "Our God given objective morality" LOL!!! LOL!!! One of DarkMatter2525s best vids!

  • Three words baby... SEX.... SAND.... WICH!!!!!

  • Wha choo looking at Dath Vada?

  • It's gonna cost you extra, you wan me ta fu@k that ninja!

    

  • well... he isn't lying, the bible really does say that

  • Shut the fuck up and suck King Richard's cock.

  • Religion doesn't have to make sense, you just have to believe in it.

  • @runehwa Well... It would be easier to believe if it just would make sense.

  • @Lobomutante Lmao. I was just being sarcastic. ;-) That is what all the theists think.

  • I think I am going to listen to the bible more often

  • What's the music from 5:04 to the end?

  • The old testament doesn't say anything about hell.

  • God did not create these earthly relationships. He created the family of one man and one woman. Practical hardships ancient life created polygamy and slavery. The Lord God did not deign to make angels of men and woman, but to make men and woman treat each other better. To whom could that be be more relevant than man to a slave or his wife or wives? Atheists are blind to how God's Law was a guiding light in primitive murderious times of slavery and polygomyt as it tody.

  • @girardcp So why does God add primitive murderous stuff into the bible, which is supposed to be our saving grace and guiding light? Also, why make murderous and primitive people in the first place? You forget that God created everything, so everything that is evil and wrong in the world should be blamed on him, not the actual thing itself. Free will? Yeah right. He also created hell, the devil, the homosexuals you so hate... He also created you, a judgmental stone-thrower trying to do his work.

  • @girardcp "Atheists are blind to how God's Law was a guiding light in primitive murderious times"

    Death penalty for picking up sticks, eating shellfish is an abomination, death penalty for disrespecting your parents, forcing rape victims to marry the rapists, death for worshiping other deities, etc. etc

    How did this, in any way, guide murderous people away from being murderous? They still murdered except they got to think that a god was on their side while they murdered.

  • The revelations of the Lord God in the begining were intended to be relevant to the world as it was then and advance it over time by timeless principles that were capable of lasting indefinitely. When a woman lost her husband, she has no welfare office, and thuse it was the duty for a man take in lest she and children perish. And slaves were the people captured in conflicts rather than be slayed, they were brought into the home and often had social status and privilege not unlike their masters.

  • Not discipline is physical. Genesis 2:24 only speaks in singular format for marriage, so this means that marriage is to be between one man and one woman. 1 Corithians 7:1-2 defines mariage as one man and one woman!! Leviticus 20:10-12 also condemns polygamy.

  • Its ironic that some Christians argue that morals comes from the bible, and those who don't believe in god will never be called good. (Psalms 14:1), yet they were the ones who committed atrocities such as this video mentioned. I'm so glad I'm an agnostic.

  • Awesome video except for the part where she defines marriage between "1MAN and 1 WOMAN" excluding homosexuals. But thats a whole nother issue...

  • @nawsheika Why limit it homosexuals? Obviously you are a transgenderist and animalist, and a treeist because transgendered people, and animals, and trees have rights to. And why between two entities and not three, or four. I challenge any person that is in favor of same sex marriage to argue why the number must be two and not three, or not a hundred, or why the participipants need to be human. Once the Biblical principle is set aside, other boundaries are arbitrary and therefore discriminatory.

  • if i meet whoever makes these irl i would shake her/his hand on the spot and say"thank you!!".

  • The early Christian church said that they don't have to follow the old testament so this could never happen :( Even the Jews changed things so they outlawed polygamy. This is funny. I wish I could come home with 3 slave boys and 4 new wives. I would name my boys slaves after the 3 stooges. Moe,Larry and Curly.

  • This is one of my favorites now!

  • what was the name of the new testament section

  • Not trying to troll but there is apparently 613 commandments says my Religious Education teacher. How that hold on 2 Stone tablets

  • @DARNarutoFan Moses brought the famous ten on the two tablets. The other 603 were given by God at random and haphazard times. In the times of the Old Testament God was very busy battling Lord Voldemort. Until the prophet Potter forced the dark lord into remission, God was too occupied with that to adequately explain all of the laws of the land. Sorcerers Stone chapter 1 verse 162.

  • @DARNarutoFan Big fucking stone tablets

  • @DARNarutoFan Mebbe God told Moses "Take 2 now, then 2 tablets every 8 hours." :D

    Joking apart, your RE teacher is absolutely correct. The first two tablets only held the first ten commandments. If you read the Ordinances of Moses in the Book of Leviticus you will find all the others, including all the bigoted anti-gay crap.

  • I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. That line about the ninja, yeah... that broke me. Kudos for the vid!

  • Bottom Bread = you're the one he will not be fucking anymore. lmao God is goooood! haha this is gold.

  • o_O Is it bad that I thought Jonny looked like Revolver Ocelot?

  • I cant stop laughing hahahaha

  • The husband sounds like a wigger. I don't mean to sound racist against white people who think they're black people or anything.

  • How is the Old Testament not relevant? I thought that was the word of god, motherfuckers

  • @howflyyy81 the 10 commandments are in the OT. lol people cherry pick

  • If a Christian can get away with saying the old testament is no longer relevant, yet cherry pick verses and stories from it, then I can say both old and new testament are no longer relevant.

  • @cosmicforums If they tell you that just remind them the 10 commandments were also in the Old Testament.

  • @cosmicforums Yeah, those self-same individuals who are so quick to point out that something is irrelevant because it's from the OLD testament are the same ones who are seemingly so fond of "the Ten Commandments".

    Oy Vay!

  • @cosmicforums the old testament was relevant, including the ten commandments, however most of the hard punishment and vengeance in it were because the people in that time were nomadic and non intellectual. Both of the testaments are relevant but they appeal to different groups of people.

  • 2:40 LOL

  • i hate it when people try to justify things like this being in the bible because it's in the old testiment. you tell me you can actually justify things like this being said in the bible(including his creation of the first genocide with the flood) and it being ok because he sacrificed his own son to himself(which makes absolutely no sense)

  • kinda hoping to see them make a sandwich:):):)

  • That would actualy be a pretty entertaining show to watch 0.0

  • I'm totally sure relegious people can't read cause all this it truly in the bible. Greets from someone who's parents forced him to read the bible. Biggest mistake they ever made :-p.

  • That tijuana girl is hot

  • it's gonna cost extra if you want me to fuck that ninja!

  • I find these funny but I'm definitely not atheist. Islam is the way of God there's just too much proof to deny it.

  • @Libya4LY i dont want to be disrespectfull but your coment made me kinda lough

  • @Libya4LY what ????  bwa hahahahahahahahahahahaa... Islam !! lol.. ANYWAY !!!

  • @Libya4LY You comment made me throw up a little. No worries, I swallowed it back. :)

    lol btw, I'm not Atheist, either. And I have my "proof" as to why I'm not, but I'm not going to be silly enough to call it "proof.." please.. have respect for OTHER religions if you're going to validate faith as proof. Leave evidences (the REAL kind) to the true experts.

  • @Libya4LY lolololol! It's been quite some time since I've seen such a stupid comment

    Qur'an proves God, God proves Qur'an, right? XD

    ... If ANY Muslim could give people even ONE single concrete proof, then most atheists would've already converted.... lols...

  • bdfu hilarious

  • what is that mean ?

  • That is why religion should seriously rethink themselves.Their values are based upon barbaric and primitive rules who were made quickly by those with power to deal with situations in the easiest way for them to find,and the way that gives Them the most power,and instead of admitting that the old ways are kinda sadistic and brutal,they simply ignore those things and keep them anyway within their bibles.

    People follow a blind faith made by those who subjected others to their will regularly.

  • Lol that was pretty good XD

    I personally have no problem with the fact of having more partners, as long as it is the same for both males and females and it is done because you want to, not because of some stupid book.

  • "It gunna cost extra if you want me to fuck that ninja" xD

  • QWOP

  • and yet The bible is a source of Family Values regardless...and also I don't see where the wife gets to chop off her husbands junk in retaliation...oh right, she has to be subservient to her husband. WHAT A LOAD OF HORSESHIT!

    I happen to be a man personally, so in fact if I was a bible-thumper I would have it pretty "sweet" by it's standards. Howeverm, it sickens me to think there are women in the world who actually believe they are supposed to submit to men because of the Bible.

  • they're long alright

    

  • It's only religious lunacy,but I'm sure the Republicans are down with it!

  • @beanie928 Don't make the assumption that all Republican are Bible Thumpers.

  • @DaRaginAUSSIE It's not an "assumption". The theocratic Christian Taliban religious right hi-jacked this party a long time ago. They want to take my country back to the 1890's with their backwards attitudes about reproductive rights, their contempt for homosexuals,and their rejection of the fact of evolution.

  • @DaRaginAUSSIE Maybe they're not all Bible thumpers ,but the people running for the Presidency are and they scare the hell out of me!

  • What you lookin' at Darth Vader?! =))) OMG SO FUNNY

  • Thank you for your service. Sorry for this video. Take on the teachings of Jesus if you really want to attack Christianity, since that's where Christians' values come from.

  • @nluzwick1 lol as if jesus didn't support everything in this anyway

    oh wait, doesn't matter since theres no evidence of him existing anyway.

    gl.

  • @SpazzK Don't drink the kool-aid, friend. Jesus is one of the most widely attested historical figures in history- whether you take him as God or not. Even if you wanted to ignore the gospel accounts (which you cannot do as a historian) you still have to deal with a whole slew of extra-biblical accounts and happenings. Even the late Hitchen's conceded that. You may argue about his deity (at your peril) but it betrays your ignorance to pretend he didn't exist.

  • @nluzwick1 There's no evidence that shows he existed though. No one has the slightest physical evidence to support a historical Jesus; no artifacts, dwelling, works of carpentry, or self-written manuscripts. There occurs not a single contemporary writing that mentions Jesus. All documents about Jesus came well after the life of the alleged Jesus from either: unknown authors, people who had never met an earthly Jesus, or from fraudulent, mythical or allegorical writings. Sooo.. you were saying?

  • @SpazzK I'm glad to see you admit that the Apostle Paul met the risen Jesus, rather than an "earthly" one! However, not all documents came "well after" Christ's life. In fact, those known to be written hundreds of years later were rejected by the church precisely because they're so far removed. The new testament documents were written no more than 20-60 years after Christ. Outside the Bible, there's Josephus, Tacitus, Suetonius, Thallus, & The Talmud- non Christians and historians.

  • @nluzwick1

    "Outside the Bible, there's Josephus, Tacitus, Suetonius, Thallus, & The Talmud- non Christians and historians. "

    Didn't all these guys come like 30-60 AD? Meaning not in Jesus time?

    None of them seemed to mention his magical powers.

    We have Pilate's surviving records and his biographer's work. No mention of a guy flying to heaven.

    The Jesus/Barabus story defies known Jewish or Roman law where convicted/dangerous criminals can be let go based on a popularity contest

  • @hipstermi

    The Josephus one was found to be a fraud. It was poorly done too. In actuality Josephus the Jew never once mentions Jesus, ever to spite supposedly being alive at the same times.

  • @nluzwick1

    "Even if you wanted to ignore the gospel accounts (which you cannot do as a historian)"

    There's no historic proof to the magical powers like levitation, matter transmutation, etc. So yes, you can question the gospel.

    Did you ever wonder why Pilate's records survive as does his biographer's work...no mention of guy coming back from dead or flying to heaven.

    No Jewish or Roman law let criminals go based on popularity contest ala Barabus.

  • @nluzwick1 that is a gross exaggeration. the majority of these "accounts" have been proven fraudulent or tampered with. whether or not there was a dude named jesus running around curing diseases with some homeopathic medicine and the plusebo effect is beyond all historians, but the jerusalem school of geologists ruled that story of the exodus historically impossible, just as many other stories have been proven to be contrary to fact.

  • @mrmoco666 I have seen an alternative suggested theory for Exodus, a slave revolt led by a noble by the name of Moses (or one of the several similar Egyptian names) which escaped the chariots that characterised the army of the time by hiding in marshy ground bogging the chariots down. Exodus was supposed to have occurred during the time of Ramses II, in his later reign he handed day to day ruling to his heir apparent who never became Pharaoh.

  • @mariusdire Several years ago a tomb was discovered which bore the appearance of royalty but it wasn't a Pharaoh, it dated to Ramses II, and was found to have died of blunt force trauma to the the head in line with bludgeoning. Also this was soon after monotheism of the Amon-Ra variety had been outlawed, so a noble dispossessed after his religion loses power, monotheist slaves, an insurgency using marshes which reduce the military's advantage. More likely than the Red Sea at least.

  • "It's gonna cost you extra if you want me to fuck that ninja." Nearly pooped my pants.

  • @Eunuchification ''What you looking at Darth Vader?''

  • this video converted 4000 people to Christianity

  • @taylan637 mmm how? when he clearly make fun of the old testaments in the bible?

  • @noellenguyen92 i meant it as a joke for men to have 6 wifes

  • the woman in the blue clothe thingy was funny, she kep looking at the whore

  • Woooo I was the 4000th person to "like" this

  • @AvolonJoyous666 Many people say that they are Christians but do not act upon tiger faith. And the Bible states what will happen to these pretenders. "By their fruits ye shall know them. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but the corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and ca

  • @BeowulfsWiglaf 4007 people converted to Tiger Christianity

  • non sense

  • @DarkMatter2525 hey thats you on the picture at 0:21 ?

  • @Torreux66 I'm pretty sure that's Pat Tillman.

  • This doesn't seem like atheist comedy, this seems like anti-bible comedy.

  • "its gonna cost extra if you want me to fuck that ninja" offensive but really funny

  • LMFAO hilarious and a subtle way of teaching a lesson to the hypocritical Christians. :D

  • I knew that was the voice of BionicDance :D Win!

  • and just when I thought monogamy was fucked up enough! X_X uggh, fuck marriage... forreal

  • Crap...why did I become an Atheist?

  • Oh God, please don't let a Dominionist become president....

  • Christians can have slaves?! Fuck being an atheist, I want a slave XD

  • @mrquinnie429 yes they can i have read the bible in my youth and it clearly states that u can have a slave that is non christan, and you can do what ever you want with him. With the exception of beating his teeth out.

  • @Noslvation I read it too, it's a pretty good read, amidst the blood and absurdities. It also says I can stone my kids if they misbehave or if I rape a woman, I pay the dad 50 bucks then marry her. Or if a woman is having her period, she should be forced out of town for a week. It's hilarious XD

  • On second though, I wouldnt mind being a christian ;-)

  • Why does no one use quotes from the New testament? It doesn't take brains to notice the new covenant made with Jesus. You know, that promise that replaced the one made with Abraham and his successors?

  • @renkol123 I was thinking this too. Even still, God did instruct the people then to abide by those practices, which we consider highly immoral today.

  • Comment removed

  • @DeadlyThrashViking Because...they are immoral.

  • @renkol123 did you not watch the video he quoted the New Testament at 3:46 and by the way if the Old Testament is so irelavent why is it in the bible?

  • @Pyromat15 exactly, and if the old testament is so irrelevant then why are creationists so hung up on genesis that they'll deny concrete evidence of evolution, like a child with his eyes closed, fingers in his ears, going "blahblahblahblahblah i cant hear you"

    oh yea, its because they have the ability to pick and choose which parts of the bible are right, wrong, apply or dont apply, and somehow know what god is capable or incapable of...

  • @paradoxb3 amen brother (no pun intended)

  • @Pyromat15 Also, if the old testament is irrelevant why aren't the ten commandments also irrelevant? They're in the old testament.

  • @Gameguy602

    if the old testament is irrelevant, then jesus loses all purpose. the so-called 'prophecies ' he fulfilled were written in the old testament, the 'original sin' he was supposed to overcome happened in the old testament, the people who wrote the gospels drew up jesus using the old testament and had jesus say that the old testament was still relevant. and when jesus freed all the casper ghosts from limbo, the first were adam and eve, whom joseph was descended from

  • @Pyromat15 the 10 commandments are in the old testament, and people still follow it. lol

  • @renkol123 dude, it was said that he came to fulfill the laws, he did not bring new laws,

  • @renkol123 Where in the new testament does it say I can't kill? Guess I can, seeing how only the old testament forbids it.

  • @renkol123 Actually, the New Testament (the King James bible) is the edited version, therefore making it irrelevant. It's the kids version. Still pretty fucked up, not as bad. Think of it as a 4kids dub, but still with all the pretty gruesome part :P If you don't get it, forget it cause someone here will.

  • PLAYER OF THE YEAR!

  • What's the song at the end?

  • Ah, a good, old-fashioned Christian family. :)

  • "Maytag, Mr.Clean, Dustbusta"  ROFL

  • So you were a US Soldier? Tell me the AR that covers the wear and appearance of the Uniform. You should know that the the Class A Jacket doesn't go with the Dress Blues Pants.

  • I think Sabine is a guy XD

  • @Elvishairdude89 you can't read can you

  • As a 24 yr old male i think we should do everything in our power to make this come true....Also i hope the biblical law which says if you rape a woman you have to marry her is enforced cos miley cyrus/olsen twins better start running...bow chicka wow wooow!! jking btw il rape them an then say that they are witches and tempted me ... priase the lord for this awesome book of excuses for rape and murder <3 ( im jking btw but u can see why we dont have christian values lmao)

  • @Elvishairdude89 Now there is a slight floor in your statement isn't there!?!?! OT violence is not akin to violence in Shakespeare because no-one is claiming that we should hold Hamlet up as the divine final word on morality - and that there is no morality without Shakespeare! Only then would we be looking closely at the sexual deviation of his characters!!!The OT is only akin to Shakespeare's work in that they are both works of fiction

  • @Elvishairdude89 aren't we going to hell in your book? so don't worry, god will take revenge. lol

  • @Elvishairdude89 We are able to see the bible for what it is. It is nothing more than a piece of literature which is the center of your religion. I think mythology is fascinating but I don't believe in Zeus or anything. But what bugs me about Christians is that they pick and choose what to follow when it comes to the bible. That comes from you OWN sense of morality, not Gods. Atheists recognize the flaws and decide to live away from God. Thats why so many Christians are now Ateists

  • @Elvishairdude89 Someone sound butt hurt. Its sad how Atheist can be more knowledgable about the bible than actual Christians

  • What can I say? The damn thing was tastefully done! Keep it up!

  • The Voice of Bionic Dance is great

  • Hehe.. I like the women from Iraq.. imma call them: the ghost, the ninja and the nun.

  • Islam has the same story, sick religions.

  • How was this critical of American soldiers instead of critical of the bible?

  • the legit wife has such sweet voice..i pity her

  • Oh dear god, almost couldn't get past sugar britches. 

  • fuck religions

  • @Atheist961 They all suck anyway.

  • lol my advertisement before the video was for mormonism

  • his uniform is all dicked up, he has a blue cord(infantry) and a cross as a flash (chaplin) class A top and dress blue bottom, they did at least give him airborne wings with his beret, and the white collared shirt is 4 the dress blues also, green shirt 4 class A's, and u mean 2 tell me that he has spent 12 years in and came back from iraq without a CIB, have he dont even have a cab 4 his POG ass, btw us army infantry best ever

  • @116skinnyboy dont not ever there is the red army

  • bwhahahahahahahahaaaaaaa!

  • What is the Song at the Start ?

  • @GhostWalkerz421 Aerosmith - I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing

  • Know what, I wish those rules would be taken up so people would revolt when they get sick of it.

  • Lol, "Whatchoo looking at, Darth VAYDAR?"

  • That sandwich analogy was frickin' hilarious.

    Also, I thought that before they hugged, he was gonna stop her and be like, "Wait, are you on your period? I can't touch you if you're on your period!" Whenever you make fun of stuff in the Bible, I expect one thing and then you manage to surprise me! XD

  • "it's gonna cost you extra if you want me to fuck that ninja!" PRICELESS!!!

  • 2:38 LMAO

  • Going to cost you extra if you want me to fuck that ninja :)

  • Gosh... all the verses that were quoted don't even apply to us.

    It's incredible how people cherry pick the bible to blast it out of proportion.

    My goodness, even a third grader knows you are supposed to read from beginning to end. If ANY atheist would actually read through the bible, they wouldn't look so stupid when they quote it.

  • @kevinyankee2 You let your third graders read the Bible? Not cool, man. It's a filthy book, full of violence and sex.

  • @kevinyankee2 The bible says a lot of things that contradict each other. And i don't mean to direct this to you, as we've never met, but iv'e met a lot of people who claim to be religious, when most of what they do contradicts the teachings of the bible.

  • @00shadowLord People think the bible contradicts itself, but that's not true. You need to interpret scripture in the correct manner to understand it to it's original context (that is found in the greek language). Sometimes people's lives don't live up to the bible's standards. We are sinners that need to live by the standards of God to be able to bring Him glory.

  • @kevinyankee2 I think you may mean Aramaic. And I also understand he said not to modify the bible and so what has all the religious done, modified the crap out of it. WTF???

  • @kevinyankee2 Firstly, we don't have the very first, original manuscripts of the Bible. Secondly, even if you read the earliest ones we do have, there will still be contradictions. Thirdly, it's impossible to discern the original context because of the nature of Greek writing at the time — it's just too different from modern language for us to always figure out exactly what they were trying to say.

    And if you want to live by the standards of God, why aren't you stoning heretics?

  • @VannahWilson You uncover your ignorance with this: "even if you read the earliest ones we do have, there will still be contradictions." You confirm your ignorance with this one as well: "And if you want to live by the standards of God, why aren't you stoning heretics?" If you read the bible properly, you would be able to answer this question. Now, if you actually want to learn about God, let me know.

  • @kevinyankee2 Oooh, how adult. You blindly call a person ignorant without any explanation and act like you know everything. How is he being ignorant? One of the biggest contradictions in the bible is how God tells people to stone heretics for breaking rules in the old testament, then he tells them not to do such a thing in the new testament. God and Jesus are supposedly one and the same, and he supposedly never changes, yet we find a clear conflict of teachings

  • @greentiger332 If you are so concerned about the bible and your "contradictions" PM me.

  • @kevinyankee2 Ahh, no answer what-so-ever. Just what I expected.

  • @greentiger332 You know well starting debates on the comment board is not a good idea. It gets messy. If you are honestly interested in learning the truth of God, PM me with all your questions and with the help of God I will be able to answer them. God bless you.

  • @kevinyankee2 Oddly enough, you're the one who started this in the first place, so don't bitch that you don't have the room to publicly defend yourself. 

  • @greentiger332 You're wrong. I never intended to start a debate. Atheist love debating and I'm not about to start one on the comment board.

  • @kevinyankee2 Also note that for thousands of years, Christians killed heretics against Jesus' teachings (crusades, inquisitions, pagan burning) . Its only been very recently (since the church lost so much influence) that such things have drastically died down.

  • @kevinyankee2 What's the point of an infallible holy book for people to read if it doesn't make sense unless you know how to read it "correctly"? It really doesn't help a relig