Are Our Children Learning Enough About Whales?

[Tamizushi]

this is hilarious :D

[natlissa]

I wanna be Clifford Banes when I grow up.

[ahhhhjjjj]

@natlissa Sounds like an easy job. You'll never have to show up.

[missrubygem]

The acting is amazing.

[9Godslayer]

@missrubygem Honestly, I have no idea how they keep a straight face.

[CaptainSpellingError]

This is awesome....

[bodinian]

I want to clear up something for the oblivious who sit furious over how they cannot understand why people dislike a video: YouTube sends people recommendations based on the videos they like and remove any recommendations tied to something they disliked. Some people did not come to YouTube to watch news parodies, so they simply dislike the video so YouTube will fill their recommendations with things they are actually looking for.

[culvre]

who are the retards who dislike onion videos? seriously?

[Kaldaryn]

@culvre Dolphins probably. They hate the whales you know.

[DamianRulz]

What the hell, this is hilarous but honestly the Onion is really cutting it close to the utter ridiculousness.

[rochestas]

I speak whale!

[AllofVideos]

is our children learning?

[TheYouwontgetit]

whales are fucking losers... ...and they nuked nagasaki...

[justicelyric]

this show been on since 1896? where to hell they get their rating to keep this wack as show going the titles alone is just sad and dumb

[GARGANTUANMASKEDFISH]

@justicelyric

Well aren't you the smartest toddler in class?

[justicelyric]

@GARGANTUANMASKEDFISH well I must be knowing this is a decade before my time.....

[JoeRingo118]

aha, i got the joke, instead of union, they wrote onion. and as everyone knows, onions are only good on crisps.

[gamerunknown]

I cannot help but think my whale knowledge lacking. Perhaps the whales will one day stalk the earth, killing those who wear perfume in their ignorance. Or fly above us, showering blessings on Greenpeace members.

[haensnbrains]

oh clifford, when shall i meet thee?

[Tuckerscreator]

This schooling is vital for education porpoises.

[CarlTrooper]

I spot a whale @ :34

[65macky]

all the black lady did was complain about living in poverty

[shoechew]

2:05 I cried.

[viking977]

nancy is a boss

[chaocrazy]

I've always been curious on how funky their reproduction is. Heh heh.

[GerrohTheCommie]

American children grow up to be whales.

[CarlTrooper]

@GerrohTheCommie assuming you are British...

you do realize 30% of Americans are "obese" and you are right behind with 23%

[GerrohTheCommie]

@CarlTrooper Lul, Americans. All you had to do was click on my name to see where I'm from, but you didn't, you just assumed I'm British.

I'm actually Canadian, and we're much further back with 14% obesity rate. I happen to be at a healthy weight and BMI for my height.

Go on, roll away now.

[CarlTrooper]

@GerrohTheCommie Roll away now?

Why don't you click on MY name and see how much better shape I am in then you....

[GerrohTheCommie]

@CarlTrooper Another assumption. I assure you, I'm in better shape. You best roll away now.

[CarlTrooper]

@GerrohTheCommie

Hmmm... ok how about this

you go make a video and show me how "good" of shape you are in

I am sure you won't, as like most trolls... you are all talk

[GerrohTheCommie]

@CarlTrooper It's stupid to go around flaunting yourself on the internet, I'm not going to do it just because some whale asked me to.

[CarlTrooper]

@GerrohTheCommie Good one overweight fatty. Go enjoy watching hockey, pussy.

[GerrohTheCommie]

@CarlTrooper Not only are hockey players in better shape than the players of any American sport, but it's also a far more badass and tough game. The level of badassery is such that it resonates throughout its audience and causes them to also be badass.

Unfortunately for you, whales aren't terribly badass.

[CarlTrooper]

@GerrohTheCommie

1) You don't play hockey.

2) Hockey players are NOT in better shape than wrestlers or swimmers or rugby players.

3) I wrestled

4) You are still a virgin.

[GerrohTheCommie]

@CarlTrooper

1) Assumption because you're a mad whale.

2) Ummm, they're really not. Wrestling is fake, swimmers are in good shape, but don't require as much muscle mass as hockey players. Neither wrestling nor hockey can be considered an "American sport".

3) Good for you.

4) Another assumption because you're a mad whale.

[CarlTrooper]

@GerrohTheCommie I am done talking to you. You are obviously a 14 year old troll with NO common sense.

I wasn't aware wrestling was fake... considering its in the olympics...

Football players are bigger than hockey players.

LOL bye troll, learn life.

[ThePistolero909]

@CarlTrooper ARGUING ON THE INTERNET IS RETARDED IF YOU WIN YOU STILL A LOSER!

[warhawk600]

@GerrohTheCommie See what happens when people get too enthusiastic about whales.

[alpokissa]

@mikenew1221 and why is that?

[laboheme26]

I learn all I need to know about Wales from Rhod Gilbert.

[SCECountZero]

LOL

[nvm78218]

@INDIANGURU69 i mean, is this 1945? nigger lover? it's hardly an insult anymore. racists should come up with better insults. progessive times, progressive hatred

[marvesmarves]

lauralee is a whale

[thewwefan57]

Replace whale for sex LOL

[TutKatan]

Give the black lady an oscar!

[blackjesuscracker616]

I support whaling. Yeah that right, I want whales dead. fuck you

[mathewfinch]

@blackjesuscracker616 adapt or die.. It's true for everything.

[MrDevilius1]

@epicduxk123 if what you was true, your meat would be freaking expensive. Importing 100% of the meat? I don't think so

[epicduck123]

DOUNT PUSH 9 DOUNT PUSH IT DO NOT FUCKING PUSH IT 9 WILL RESULT IN A DEMONIC BLACK LADY SO DOUNT PUSH IT!!!!

[epicduck123]

how the fuck did she do that? 0_0..i was just reading comments and then i heard that and i was like WTF OMFG LMFAO!

[redfox435cat]

this sound like our college debate lastnite, sad thing was they were seriouse were these guys are just being theatrical.

[VivoTheGreat]

@Lebenskraft honestly... how do you manage to spell whales wrong when it's part of the title of the video you where commenting on? oh and on a side note, there's thousands of bloated, over-fed Americans continuously beaching themselves all around vacation hot-spots across the globe, using up massive amounts of valuable sunscreen and beach towels I say : Kill'em! starve them to extinction! who needs them anyway? -_-

[ladawg81]

Haha butches, I'm Russian we hunt whales for their blubber. We also wrestle bears but that's another story

[LuniaVideo]

@ladawg81 You guys wrestle in the mud naked because your entire country is full of little bitches

[IForgotMyRifle]

@LuniaVideo Oh come one, like Americans dont hunt for endangered species. Yeah, Russia does have some whale hunters, but so does every country that lives near an ocean.

[epicduck123]

@IForgotMyRifle We have no species hunters..america isent like that nor are we supporting that so russia find a new hobby..

[LuniaVideo]

@IForgotMyRifle Americans are probably the least significant offendors of hunting/poaching endangered species. Why? There's not many of them in the US.

There are, however, plenty of animals reserves and sanctuaries.

Even our northern/southn neighbors in Canada and Mexico poach lynx, ocelots, other big cats for fur and the exotic animal trade. Eagles and wolves are endangered here, but not because of hunting or poaching - its due to habitat destruction mostly.

[aNdYmAtTeR]

At the risk of sounding racist, I'm off into the kitchen to make a cup ... no, a mug of coffee!

Black coffee!

[colepleshe]

@jayblob716 right after the song he says ," I remember learning that song

[kevdiesel13]

I grew up in Wisconsin so I was never able to go see whales. :(

[lordofsraam]

Anybody else think that the black lady says "whale" the same way Stewie from Family Guy says Cool "Whip"?

[Roboyoyo]

They are all high

[Pilaf1984]

At the risk of sounding racist, I enjoy the commentary of this group of pink people and their light brown friend.

[jayblob716]

I just want to thank all of you who quote the video word for word, I am deaf and can't hear the video myself.

[patman173]

@jayblob716 saracasm.......

[jayblob716]

@patman173 Yup........

[92309858]

@jayblob716 press the CC button on the lower right of the video,it transcribes the video like a charm

[LithiumZ2]

@jayblob716 you're welcome

[yinge101]

hehe: "In the Know with Clifford Banes" with Julianna McKannis

[yinge101]

is clifford banes ever in?

[alternitivepat]

rofl she looked so happy

[hashimotto]

fuck this is the news nowadays children getting more education than whales. WOW!!!

[oldnotweak]

81 PEOPLE ARE DOLPHINS!

[MeMoiNI]

I think this video is about mocking more than just whales.

To me, the whales are a metaphor for useless crap we learn in school, a.k.a. bullshit.

[MAJORleague32]

@MeMoiNI lol thats what i was thinking, we also take the same course over and over again. Right now i'm taking classes that i took in high school, in college. College should be for what your major is and classes that comply with your major. Example: Business. Why the hell do we have to take English, history and science. Its just about the money.

[IanEColeman]

@MeMoiNI durp.

[MrBigEnchilada]

i think we need more funding for learning about whales and every school have whales.......

lollll

[ZuluThebes]

This is the reason why we aren't beating China. WE MUST LEARN ABOUT DUCKS DAMMIT!!!!! This is why I like Pinnaple network. Fucking Onion is propaganda

[nate045]

A little fact i came across btw.

When fox news was still in its babysteps they were competing with UNN.

But Fox was better @ making up story's so they got the spot.

[jakeyboyGH]

HAHAHAHAH Author of "Daddy, What's an Orca?"

[Suicider12]

fanfreakingtastic hahaha!

[scottymac897]

81 children haven't heard of whales.

[1xXShatteredMemoryXx]

is she wearing a shirt??

[thomashester2]

ellen degeneres should come in a school tour & teach them the whale calls which they can then put those in action & communicate with whales

[AlmostUpsideDown]

81 people didn't learn that song when they went to schol.

[basketballaddt]

wait. is this real?

[chemoman1]

@basketballaddt Of course!

[Stewiegriffinist]

"Mah mama was to busy workin' to be cooin' no Hwhale songs to me." xD

[ani451]

Putting them in the oh-chin?

We should be teaching children how to say ocean,lol.

Ocean pronunciation needs more funding.

But yeah, I didn't learn anything about whales in school either.

I guess somehow I'll manage.

If only.

[rabbalaba]

i didnt learn shit about whales when i was in school :(

[maxineb2]

i remember learning that song in school

[Sporemin]

I think we need to fund whale education

[epicsuccess10]

Daddy, what's an Orca?

[TomBrettJoey]

Will we ever see Clifford Banes?

[MrCcbcc]

@TomBrettJoey Im Dave Reporting In For clifford Banes Who Is Currently A Activist Who Set himself On Fire.

[MegaTraCkz]

they have a whale in the studio

[mexlikexmousey]

iiii spppeakkk whaallleeee

[ninjawhale03]

yeah i reckon people need to learn more about wales too

[Iplaydrums5]

i no lot about Whales.

I is smart.

[coochafudom]

am i the only one that can hear a skype IM @1:05? :p

[OmegaOmotron]

@coochafudom yes

[Weirdy123]

Whale whale whale..what do we have here?

[pinoyboy579]

"I remember learning that song when I was in school."

Win.

[aBuruBuruGuy]

is this real????

[Monumentum616]

@aBuruBuruGuy Yes.

[JackMcK123]

@aBuruBuruGuy No.

[GAWDclanvideos]

@aBuruBuruGuy actuly yes it it. Why wouldnt it be? XD i mean come on everyone knows about this!

[gamertrub]

Damn, monkey whales! My school dosent say nothin about them!

[SecludedSpaces]

Ahahaha, Fucking hilarious!

[ca1cifer]

At the expense of sounding racist, I love that black woman!

[adsim92]

@ca1cifer you somehow made that racist, even after it wouldn't have been at all..

[robotsgood]

@ca1cifer mwah. indubidibly.

[PumpingSmashkins]

@ca1cifer how could that possibly be considered racist? oh yeah, everything's "racist" these days. i forgot, sorry.

[TheInFormer500]

@ca1cifer OMG!! you said that a black woman was BLACK?!!?!? YOU RASCIST!!! :)

[Araneus21]

Children should be made to play "Harpooned, the cetacean research simulator" and perform whale research themselves. This is best for educational purposes and might also help them in choosing a future career !

[Verscilith]

81 people were not taught about whales because of inadequate funding- I mean come on. Only 84%? Psssh.

[MATTACK420]

lauralee hickok, do me?

[nittygritty82]

*are we falling behind the world* lmao

that's what did for me :-)

[kaziabir1]

@nittygritty82 umm...we kind of are...remember this is not a joke, it's a satire, they have many truth and criticism in this video. Which ofcourse you need a brain to understand.

[nittygritty82]

@kaziabir1 mmm ok :-/

[porgy29]

I love how large parts of this just seem to be them taking the transcript of a real show and copy and pasting in the word "whale"

[TheMrSpartanking]

@porgy29 No the biggest part is my dick.

[txfnero]

Whales.... They're those big..fish things..right?

[ryuukatamura]

@txfnero I see what you did thar. 

[xboxmime]

I agree, our children need more whale history! what about the great whale battle between the condors, kangaroos, whales and superman?

[tccjjss]

@xboxmime

Lol you idiot, kangaroos are just comic book beasts. There is no such thing in real life. Also superman is the greatest villain of all time and it would be best of we forgot him and the horrible things he did. He killed 2 billion whales in that war, that knowlegde is the reason behind the 80% suicide rates we have.

[teopini]

WTF!?

[MrTheBestVideoMaker]

Wat iz a waleh?

[ldaloxl]

WTF are we doing dumbing everyone down this is sad

[rorcon]

That black lady is the best panelist!

[geniusjas87]

Yeah whales.. But out kids need to learn more about ballsack

[pandathebean]

"I remember learning that song when I was in school." Yeah, I remember too, mate, I remember too.

[miretchin]

I love all the papers in front of these people! What the heck are they going to use them for?

[elkor101]

Aaaaah.... it's such a beautifully country and....

What, are the taking about the memel?

[Grizzlo503]

Author of "Daddy, What's an Orca?" ROFFLE

[miretchin]

(Grins triumphantly).  "I remeber learning that song." WOW. I just died when she got to the chorus!

[RetroLuv04]

lmao i love how she said minke whales xD

[jeremy915111]

i really want to meet clifford banes

[Shadowjio57]

I love Nancy and her whale noises! XD

[psycho642]

@EvolvedSkeptic That is pretty important...Comedy is a lot more funnier when it's played serious

[GNRslash28]

if they actually made a real story about this on FOX or any news source, all the parents in the world would immediately get pissed at the public school systems

[skeezerzz]

my stomach hurts

[furiousajp]

@EvolvedSkeptic she wasn't really making the sounds...

[TheLeviathanZero]

"Im Juliana McKannis, sitting in for Clifford Banes who stormed off after seeing our new set."

Does anyone notice that 'In The Know' is supposed to have Clifford Banes, but he's never on the show?

[applefox77]

@TheLeviathanZero Yeah I noticed that every time he is not there for some reason lol.

[Shinray1kuo]

@TheLeviathanZero That's the point. You'll notice that he has a random reason for never showing up on each one of these.

[XEricCoreX]

It's a parody of the schools curriculum of retarded shit like whales.

[ocergnairb]

To be cooing no whalesongs to me

LOVE THE BLACK LADY

[todd1141]

SINCE 1869.

lmao xD

[Drag2hand]

Fuck, I thought they where talking about the country, until they started speaking.

[brawldude23]

0:44 Its a whale!

[APsupportsTerrorism]

I know all about how great whales taste.

[mynameisdarthtater]

This shit is no joke. Am I the only one that did nothing but talked about whales for like 3 months back in 4th grade? I think I still have my paper mâché whale somewhere around here.

[Scorp316]

This might make more sense if aired in Japan.

[Sirustalcelion]

now replace Whales with any other subject and you have reality :)

[lotusjackson]

Forget SNL these skits are hysterical.

[BarfFromSpaceballs]

@lotusjackson I concur SNL could definitely learn a few things from the Onion.

[flashash2k9]

@lotusjackson i find snl boring and childish, i find these very humorous.

[BenJammin2point0]

80 fetuses aren't being cooed whale songs.

[blackops113]

i'll ask my mom to take me to sea world right away

[olichubby]

i remenber learning that song at school

[Zblj1987]

There are some whales at schools, disguised as fat people!

[HunteroTheGreat]

I laughed out loud when I read the title. And the ending was epic.

[goodbeerfinder100]

Yawn - I get the joke, but I just don't find it funny.

[AmphibiousSheep]

@goodbeerfinder100 Then fuck off.

[AlvarTV]

the fat woman is passionate

[jimkunz100]

i saw this on FOX News

[xxembrassemoixx]

@jimkunz100 i think you meant CNN

[MacGruber94]

@xxembrassemoixx

Nope.