Racist Dinosaur - Dave Attell

[rygyrocks16]

37 people are Indonesian

[mrbigmacchomper]

no joke his sister was my music teacher

[coburnbatman]

U mad bro?

[bobwatters]

damn Dave is a genious! all these damn mexicans around that we dont need all we need to do is start using them for fuel and our problem will be solved!

[Psychid45]

@bobwatters As Dave just said: "That's fucking RACIST! You're a fucking RACIST!"

[bobwatters]

@Psychid45 its not racist its economics :)

[datasoluble]

Bald people on the other hand are a race . Smooth tops we call em.

[bj07bran7]

Such a dumbass, Mexican is not a race. There are white Mexicans

A complete bald dumb fuck

[IsaacTrelstad]

@bj07bran7 You're just racist against bald people.

[djflashb]

@IsaacTrelstad LOL  nice one

[hugga4u]

@bj07bran7 Mexicans are a race! A race to the border! MUAHAHAHAHA. evil bad joke.

[Zzyxzaa]

@MrBirdforthree

I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you, what was that?

[johnediamond]

he's the jewish porn dude from Rockville centre...not interesting though...

[crankatorium]

Put the punch line on tge title duck you

[AColonDashSix]

hmmm...I really don't give a shit about the whole "butt-hurt" (for lack of a better term) aspects of the routine, but it didn't make me laugh or even chuckle. The bit just wasted my time.

(Yes I'm aware of the irony of wasting my time commenting on a video that I claim to have already stolen said time so don't bother pointing that out)

[CoolerKing37]

@AColonDashSix Hey, you wasted your time commenting on a video that you said was a waste of your time (And don't bother saying you already pointed that out, I don't care)

[passiveMenis]

0:01 the one in red would get it so hard

[kschumannjr]

@GlorybyMurder Wahh..Wahh..Wahh..This is the type of over-emotional, butt-hurt, low IQ Jew whining we are used to seeing on the internet. What's actually even funnier than Attell's recycled humor is the fact that you are a self-hating Jew who is now an Atheist; though from you retard-level intellect it is clear that your self-hate understandably extends to the rest of your life. Also, your screen name perfectly encapsulates your mother's thoughts when she squatted in the alley and shat you out.

[DiceyJJ]

he's great

[darknight10000]

Hitlersaurus. Beautiful. The way he came up with that name, not the concept.

[acrossfromwhere]

dave attell is hilarious. gets me every time.

[TheMultiGunMan]

★★★★★ 

[doodlehead72]

"God's money shot" F'ing gold.

[elstroshitnonstop]

if you think this joke is racist toward mexicans you are a fool. its fucking brilliant satire

[kschumannjr]

Is it me or do all Jewish comedians ONLY have jokes based on race and Hitler?

[LordOfTheFleas1]

@kschumannjr

Just you. With the shitload of Jewish comedians out there, they'd run out of material pretty fast.

[TeamZealand]

@kschumannjr You took the three seconds he mentioned Mexicans and Hitler and it made you that upset?

[kschumannjr]

@TeamZealand "Upset"? Don't get emotional and defensive because I pointed out a common trend amongst Jewish comedians.

[TeamZealand]

@kschumannjr Haha. I just think broad generalizations are ignorant.

[kschumannjr]

@TeamZealand Funny, because I find assumptive comments to be be ignorant.

[TeamZealand]

@kschumannjr Right on man. I have better shit to do then argue on the internet. Take care man.

[CoolerKing37]

@kschumannjr I thought the stereotype was that Jewish comics always talked about being jewish or their jewish family. And is Dave Attell even Jewish for that matter?

[vinyllawafer1]

@kschumannjr

It's you

[TinQuasimodo]

@kschumannjr Well, yeah. Unless they are trying to pass off as not Jewish in the beginning, which is f*cking weird since Jews handle the Hollywood world...why do they always change their surnames to be accepted if they have an edge over non-Jews in the entertainment industry?(I'm personally assuming it's to not show the highly unusual disproportion of Jews represented)

The Jewish comedians are working with what they know and what we know(Hollywood & Gov), which is race and Hitler. It's win win

[sserpent21]

And upon hearing this material, the writers and manatees at Family Guy scrambled to get a Hitlersaurus into a new episode for Peter to make friends with, for Brian to preach at and for Stewie to bond with.

[nofaithvaeth]

26 people agreed with the racist dinosaur.

[Morpheus94080]

Exactly none if you sheep can explain why there is drilling in th ocean where no life is... And you even think it matters... It doesn't becaus oil is a primitive source of energy... Research type 1 energy sources you clowns

[Morpheus94080]

You said my name is Morpheus? Ha only an idiot would take a fake name on YouTube so seriously, and u even say nuff said... What a goofy fuckin dork

[giovanny72]

I am Mexican and this made me laugh harder than any other race joke ive ever heard

[TommYYZ]

There are two things in the world I will not stand for...racism....and Mexicans.

[Morpheus94080]

I can answer this right now... Why do they have off shore drilling... When most of the sealife is near shore, and most of the oceans are a vast desert of life... Let's see you douches argue now

[Billabongmon]

@Morpheus94080 your a fuckin idiot! and your names "morpheus" nuff said...

[alderaforall]

@Billabongmon don't argue with an idiot, he'll only drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

[Morpheus94080]

Go work your life away and give all your money right back to them buying shit u don't need* You American idiot

[Morpheus94080]

you're just another sheep, I bet you think jfk was killed by a random guy, and not by his own government... I bet u also think the government is out to help you... As they exploit u... Stupid fuckin slave... Go work your life away for and spend all that money going of right back to them... It yeah only a sheep would even find dave attel funny

[Morpheus94080]

no dumb b

[sonofshifter]

i wouldve thought the comments would have been about attell. go figure id get a argument about fossil fuels. you all suck, go find a geology forum.

[Morpheus94080]

yea it is... but you dont know enough about geology to understand

[Morpheus94080]

omg thats not what crude oil is, we get our gas from crude oil which is a bi-product of earths crust and mantle... either way, burning these oils as fuel is very primitive... and oil companies are a hindrance to society

[Rpatel333]

@Morpheus94080 Byproducts of the earth's crust and mantle!? Please tell me you are trolling or just fucking around, cuz that ranks up there with the dumbest fucking things I've ever heard

[Morpheus94080]

no it doesnt idiot, oil is a bi product of the earth... if we ran off past fossil fuels we would definitely be out of fuel already, use common sense you dumb fuckin sheep

[GeahkBurchill]

@Morpheus94080 "Oil is a bi product of the Earth" Really? Please explain to me what you mean by that, Mr. Wizard.

[ehschlect]

@Morpheus94080 dude you are a fucking idiot

[ehschlect]

@Morpheus94080 You are a true ignoramus

[aladdinscaveofwonder]

So jokes about the tsunami are fine but as soon as someone mentions 9/11 they get crucified?

[OneWayRoad]

probably the best first line of any video i've clicked

[phantom5691]

weak

[GhettoSlayin724]

haha ahh man dave. I seriously turned on my computer just to see this bit.

[Morpheus94080]

he just said dinosaurs = fossil fuels... lol he connected them because of the word fossil... what an idiot

[GeahkBurchill]

@Morpheus94080 That IS actually the reason they call them Fossil Fuels, because Carbon is the basis of all terrestrial life and it FOSSILIZES and a portion of it become FOSSIL fuels. Dinosaurs are a small portion of that carbon but the majority is every plant and insect that has ever lived on the Earths surface as well. We have not YET run out of fuel because we are not JUST burning dinosaur carbon. Gawd I hate having to explain jokes. Totally ruins them.

[Minksterator]

hitlersaurus! lol

[Omglolwdf]

No one likes a prehistoric racist.

[BWS1982]

@Omglolwdf ...I don't know, Republicans still get a lot of votes...

[laceandcurls]

@BWS1982 Now that's funny.

[uuuultra]

Mexicans are greasy, though.

[FrankGJamesonwhiskey]

this isn't that funny...

[billoybong]

i'm an indonesian fan and i still love u dave

[sirchang000]

Me first.. I thought it up

[BlakeTahoe]

i touched a monkey....sexually.....now the san diego zoo is trying to press charges....C'MON HE FUCKIN LIKED IT!.....next you're gonna tell me i cant "breastfeed" from random hot stranger moms because its "socially unacceptable"...my dad fought in VIETNAM! so i can do these things!....god bless....america

[NycBlackout]

17 Mexicans don't want to become fuel.

[SiExito]

I'm Mexican and I love this joke !

[ImInLove009]

Hitlersaurus!!! Thats fucking funny!!

[akaenrique509]

Hispanic and Blacks are The Funniest Comedians . not being racist tho lol

[danecook321]

0:43 DAVE WORKS FOR BP!!!

[aurlis2012]

ditch the dumb humour, listen to real comedians like stanhope or carlin

[bentleytheyeti]

@aurlis2012 stanhope REALLY??!?!? what has *he done since he ran the man show into the ground?

and carlin and attell are apples and oranges. while they're the foremost shock-comics of their time, carlin is "the thinking man's comic" while attell is "the comedian's comedian."

[cecinid]

@aurlis2012 Ditch the attempts to sound intelligent, listen to people who know what's funny, like bentleytheyeti and xodiachild....PLEASE.

[aurlis2012]

@cecinid ditch the attemps to sound intelligent? why i'm flattered you thought i sounded intelligent, but y'know it was just a quick sentence to portray a simple message.. and i don't think it's very intelligent of me to acknowledge advice from people who listen to this dork. now get ur ass back on the dane cook forums!

[cecinid]

@aurlis2012 "why i'm flattered you thought i sounded intelligent"...Gee, wrong yet AGAIN. All I said was 'stop ATTEMPTING' to sound intelligent...it's just obvious you are trying, I didn't say you were actually DOING IT....again, Republican'ts have a real probablem dealing with REALITY...reality does, after all, hold a LIBERAL BIAS...but whatever ya gots to tell yourself to get to sleep at night...say hi to Dane Cook for me, douche, LOL...

[aurlis2012]

@cecinid the fuck does politics have to do with comedians? and to make yourself get to sleep at night you laugh at your own retarded jokes? i said hi to dane for ya and he said he wants you home this instant his ass is getting lonely..

[cecinid]

@aurlis2012 Wow, stale 'gay jokes'...how shocking from someone that displays the world knowledge of a brain dead pre-schooler. Good luck in prison, loser...say hi to your family for me while you're there...asshat.

[aurlis2012]

@cecinid hey dude? fuck off. don't think 3rdrailradio guy wants these gay ass youtube arguement emails. i'll give attel a chance, send me his best work and i'll do the same for carlin ight?

[cecinid]

@aurlis2012 "hey dude? fuck off"

Ohhh, no, no...I insist...AFTER YOU, asslick.

[zofspade]

@aurlis2012 Everyone has heard of Carlin you condescending fuckface. You aren't doing any favors, and their types comedy are not mutually exclusive.

[aurlis2012]

@zofspade k

[Archetype77]

@aurlis2012 I enjoy carlin and stanhope, as well as attell and many others. Why can I not laugh at a hitlersaurus joke if I also like painstakingly crafted political commentary from carlin and a much lesser version of that from stanhope? Sounds like you harbor some pretention and elitism. Maybe you aren't as smart as you think...

[aurlis2012]

lol this guy fuckin blows, i feel embarassed for him

[1223Melo]

@aurlis2012 Wow, you're a fucking moron.

[xodiachild]

@aurlis2012 youre an idiot i feel embarrassed for youtube having you on it.

[stopcicles]

@aurlis2012 I hope you get raped by Hitlersaurus.

[seroyer2]

I really had no idea what he was talking about, but it was funny as hell!

[KbaseballFreak8]

polyfusia just got fucked up

[lustreboy]

haha, great stuff!!

[Polyfusia]

Standup comedy can be so dumb. Do you know how many people could write better material than this? This sucks. Why does dumb comedy always win with audiences?

[SparksDrinker]

@Polyfusia haha wow i assume u are just trying to get a reaction. attell is about as good as it gets, if u dont find him funny i feel sorry for anyone who has to live with you.

[Polyfusia]

@SparksDrinker You typed your message of support in netspeak, without capitalization. I think you've just supported my argument.

[SparksDrinker]

@Polyfusia you chose to focus in on the fact that i didn't use caps, i believe it is YOU that just supported MY argument.  i can't help but pity you.

[MattsMisc]

Haha we should probably burn blacks, they are the ones who are scared of working.

[Dick69Hurtz]

Or even better than treasure a talking dinisaur.

[Dick69Hurtz]

"Me first I thought it up".

[waiting4thesun64]

one of my top 3 favorite comedians...\m/

[gosunnyfun]

Sarah Silverman needs to get back together with Dave, so they can create comedic genius smartass offspring and perpetuate the awesomeness.

[ErikCartman]

@gosunnyfun silverman with this guy????

if you mean sarah silverman can do a good blowjob on him.

they aren't in the same league as comedian.

and i liked jesus is magic no hate here.

the sarah silverman program was one of te most unfunny thing on tv ever

[kitybarkbark]

@ErikCartman can do a blowjob on him wow your a fucking idiot

[ErikCartman]

@kitybarkbark i don't even get what you want. if is an error i am italian and i learnt your language by hearing it.

imagine how is simple. simple language simple mind. i was just saying that silverman is not even near to dave attel as comedian. your vag hurt?

[mayhem9024]

@ErikCartman that's your opinion but shes considered really funny sorry godfather.

[ErikCartman]

@mayhem9024 of cousre sure you are right.

but the sarah silverman program is beyond watchable. jesus is magic is funny but the director is bob odenkirk so no surprise there

[mayhem9024]

@ErikCartman look whatever this comment made no sense see ya.

[ErikCartman]

@mayhem9024 you never watched "jesus is magic" by sarah silverman? that is good

so what you find funny about her? the show she made was just bad

[mayhem9024]

@ErikCartman yes but your comment made no sense you completly said the opposite of bad.I just find her funny i don't need to answer your questions you hated the show whatever alot of people liked it so fuck off

[ErikCartman]

@mayhem9024 "i don't need to answer your questions"

i didn't get that you are retard sorry

stop

[mayhem9024]

@ErikCartman i'm not retarded but your questions weren't needed if i like someones work i like the work you could have left it alone but you wanted to continue i didn't sorry your overly sensitive.

[jeffster111made]

luv dave!!!

[JoyGrenade]

That's good. I like this.

[Jarut195]

OH MY GOD! turn on transcribe audio, it makes the joke go from "mexicans, that racist!" to "mexicans, thats right!"

[somnys]

@Jarut195 LOL! And then it goes "One likes a prehistoric racist" 

[thwrldsgr8st]

@Jarut195 "I know you're talking like you may be a loser and a hiring a babysitter and aids."

lol

[Jarut195]

What did you say? MEXICANS?! lol, funniest bit ever.

[littletinybirds1]

You know if like Hitler made like schools for the retarded and the jews instead of burning slash shooting them slash gassing them in the face then they couldve like taught them magickal things which made friendships for friends.

like if Hitler exherted as much energys doin something coool as he did exterminating then that would be coo

[boorbaga]

@littletinybirds1 your not supposed to write the word ''slash''. just type in /

[Rationalization]

@boorbaga He also shouldn't have four likes in their comment. And make humor better.

[suedebear]

"the tsunami, or as i call it gods money shot"

oh fuck me..i about died laughing

[NostalgicDays88]

mexicans xD

Hitlersaurus xD

EPIC!!!!

[TexazFox666]

im meskan and i approve this message ,

[kingtragic21]

@TexazFox666 SPELLING FAIL

[ImSleepingIn]

@kingtragic21 Ahahaha! Wonderful.

[Devilock79]

hahahahahahahaha.....mexicans.­

[usergrc494]

can i get a drink for hitlersaurus over here?

[ryanith2]

gods money shot hahahahah

[queefbreeze]

Why do they make anal beads in colors if they always come out brown?

[djn00nan]

@queefbreeze u mean the unholy rosarie? u gotta keep swimming or else ull die.

[NiggerWarship97]

gods moneyshot.

[qfour20]

i knew he was gonna say mexicans lol

[7070x]

Lol. man got a point on indos. :D

[chrisonegative]

no one likes a prehistoric racist

[kingsteve689]

God's money shot... That's fucking awesome

[steveinmidtown]

what's that?  Mexicans?

[Vilverin1]

can i get a drink for hitlersaurus over here?

[ninjast4r]

Sorry. I like bacon, beer and porn too much to give it up.

[harshroger]

Dave attell is so Cruel, i luv it!

[HollowHeadMask]

Stupid racist dinosaur I'm Mexican!!!!

[blueshirt12]

Then jump back over the border and get the fuck out.

[skankinscott182]

AMEN!!!!

[Magic310]

@blueshirt12 Ummm no thanks I was born here nd stayin here lol

[SharpShot333]

"A talking dinosaur who all of us can have adventures with.

Me first I thought it up!"

[tracksabbath29]

Dave Attell gets my vote for best comedian with a bit called "Racist Dinosaur".

[HoLOLcaust]

@tracksabbath29 Maybe try Bill Hicks with the "Goatboy" joke.

[RUSSTRADAMUS]

me first i thought it up ('mexicans") hitlersaurus (lmao)

[forthashorteez]

Albi the racist dragon strikes!

[SiLenT366]

nice reference

[beatlespersun]

WTF this just came on TV and the show was over 2 years old

[JakaUshi]

God's Money Shot. Rofl.

[JakaUshi]

God's Money Shot.

[debeling8]

"what will we burn as our next source of fuel....what mexicans?! thats fucking racist" XD

[darkprose]

"...you're gonna lose your entire Indonesian fan base!" LOL

Thanks for all of these, I used to watch that Attell show on Comedy Central...can't remember the title, but I always felt there was something fearless about him. I gotta respect these comics who can do this kind of thing.

[DarkTravesty03]

Insomniac was the name of the show.

[HollowHeadMask]

Actually it was captain miserable

[wyldeshredder666]

goin to see him in two days :D

[MightyMaul]

maybe there's some really cool shit under those ice caps.

[ccrdevils58]

maybe global warning is real...maybe it's not, maybe i work for an oil company

[kiddbandit]

Lol ever since i heard that i'v been saying things like "Who knows maybe he does maybe he dosnt maybe i work for an Oil Company" XD

[chappy2612]

he just looks like a jew

[TuffGongMarley]

dave looks like a domestic terrorist