Literally Genesis 3

[EmmittBrownBTTF1]

Stupid people are good and smart people are inconvenient?! ;-P

[nancy6ify]

what was the point of that fucking tree anyway?

[calmreason]

Space cake! Lol

[sined13]

@paulchartley

Recent subscriber here.

I'm really glad that you've made this one (Genesis 3:9) in particular. I have never understood how any believer can read passages like these, and not even raise an eyebrow. God asking Adam "Where are you?" I mean really? ...I mean REALLY? Omnipotence aside, aren't there just two people in existence at this point, and he can't even find one of them?

Oh how I wish believers actually processed what they read...for those who actually read it.

cheers

[ThomasTrue]

"Something very cold or extinct" At last, a Biblical explanation for the dinosaurs - they became Eve's wardrobe, her handbags and her vast collection of shoes.

[pumpstations]

@wspol624 Thank you, will do.

[pupsenok]

So, the punishment for a woman for eating of the tree is painful childbirth and subservience to her husband; whereas the punishment for a man is agriculture. Sounds fair to me.

[KittyTh]

the reactions to this video are almost as funny as the video itself XD

[InternetDarkLord]

Snakes don't eat dust. I am sure some creationist will point out snakes can swallow dust with meat, but what does plausibility have to do with a talking snake?

[MrRedthief]

Let's see, god makes it a crime to eat an apple from that tree. And he makes Hell to forever punish with torture the original sin. WTF, just for an apple? He is a monster.

[hildegain]

@MrRedthief Don't forget that he not only knew that it was going to happen but he also made them to do it himself. Sadistic fuck he is :P

[MsSquarebearz]

I would love to have all these on a dvd, or audio book. I have never laughed so hard thank you ever so much.

[tctheunbeliever]

So if Adam hadn't eaten from the Tree of Life, and death hadn't come into the world, what was god planning on doing with him?

[tiznogodz]

I have got to learn not to have a mouthful of anything when I click on your videos, my poor monitor. I always have to replay your videos because I'm laughing so hard I miss half of it!

[teavea10]

Tree of knowledge of good and evil? What indication is there that such knowledge was acquired? It seems more like a tree of knowledge of nakedness.

[teavea10]

Why didn't God ask the serpent why he beguiled Eve? What kind of excuse would he have come up with?

[wordavee]

So god created two trees, one gave the knowledge of good and evil, and the other immortality. So we have to ask:-

A Why?

B How did that work,? Did it make some kind of genetic change?

C What were they for? As god already had the knowledge and immortality, they were no use to him. If heintended to give man these gifts eventually, why not wait til he was ready, and finally, why trees?

The fact is, as soon as you look closely at these tales, they are obviously made up.

[wordavee]

God Said "Behold, the man is bcome as one of us....."

US?!? Who the hell was he talking to?? Who else was there?? and how does the writer of Genesis know what (if anything!) was said???

[RayetWolf]

This is too funny....

[TheStoasterRisen]

This series is fantastic.

[TheStigma]

The question that strikes me everytime I hear or hear this passange of the bible is - why would god lie to his creation in the first place - and if he really didn't want them to eat of the tree then why did he place it so plainly within their reach in the first place - especially knowing (as an omniscient being would know) that they would eventually break his command to not eat of it anyway.

This part really makes NO sense whatsoever... even if you invoke the "free will" crap we so often hear.

[BigIdeaSeeker]

Blast! If only they'd eaten from the Tree of Life first. Nice job, thanks.

[aotweb2]

2 Arfs, 3 Ruffs, and a big Bow-Wow

[lordabomity]

Tim minchin - the good book.

watch?v=kr1I3mBojc0

=D

[ThePuppetTheist]

Very good, it kinda reminds me of Douglas Adams.

[HulkSmashPunyHumans]

Damn city slickers. Chickens can fly damnit!

They just don't unless they are triggered by fight or flight and even then only for relatively short distances (couple hundred yards at the most). Its because they are heavy birds. Flight for them takes a lot of energy. Also wild roosters are quite good at short bursts of flight when they are fighting other wild roosters over hens.

Yes I know that was a weird random rant but it's the 2nd time you mentioned chickens as birds that can't fly... sorry.

[Dasmaster1]

Why dont you make this to a hard cover alternative bible version and sell it? :)

[AcanLord]

i`m getting the idea that when god aparently says adam has become "one of US" its a referance to the old Henotheistic pantheon that yahweh came from.

[rationalmuscle]

@AcanLord Indeed... the term is masculine/feminine in the earliest texts. Given the research published recently concerning "Yahweh's wife", Ashera, this is the most plausible explanation.

Or, you can buy into the Christian bullshit explanation and go with, "God was talking to his Son, Jesus, who he never bothers to mention for the rest of the entire Old Testament."

Funny how they never seem to catch that... or when they do, it causes them NO alarm. ; )

[Dwicker64]

I will go to my grave being dumb founded that people believe in a book that is full of shit.

[Shayrah]

"...something the size of a bowling ball has to pass out through a hole designed to snugly accommodate something no more than two inches across..."

Bwahahahahaha XD

[SEThatered]

This is way better than the bible itself!

[1971ojoalparche1971]

"Which probably made some thing very cold or extinct."

Please keep up this series lest ye be cursed out of the Garden of YouTube.

[pumpstations]

I now have several questions, In no particular order. 1) Where are these cherubim now? As the tree was not removed from earth and surly didn't die. 2) Why do women return to dirt, as they were created from a rib. 3) what if Eve had made a fruit salad and only told Adam after he ate? It doesn't specify. 4) Could telling them they would die from eating be considered the first lie? 5) LOOOL Space cake for the win! Great vid!

[paulchartley]

@pumpstations You are thinking about this way too much.

Remember the people who believe all of this literally are told not to think and therefore it all makes perfect sense.

:0)

[pumpstations]

@paulchartley I cant help it. I have only been a free man a few years. After escaping the bondage of religion, I found that I enjoy using my head for something other than an accessory to keep a replica of an ancient torture device from falling from around my neck. OR I'm still discovering my new, and I must say improved world.

[Dimensiom]

@pumpstations Creationists claim that Eden was destroyed during the Noachian flood, which would have destroyed the "Tree of Life" and justified laying off the cherubim.

[rationalmuscle]

@Dimensiom Yeah, that's the general take. Interesting though: A tree producing fruit that would literally make a man LIKE A GOD... but yet seems susceptible to water.

God's kryptonite perhaps?

[bdf2718]

"Dying is a bit like shitting nothing but liquid." Classic.

[PlatypuSPawn]

"bloddy hell, I didnt know snakes could talk! LOL

[stripymccatpuss]

This is a great series, thanks for all your hard work !

[theoldbat40]

Love it! Keep 'em coming! :)

[mrgodbehere]

Marvellous!

[Astrobrant2]

Ditto mcrd2001.

Thus endeth the lesson for the day. Now please open your hymnals to page 173 and join in the singing of "Cursed Be the Bitches and the Snakes."

--organ intro--

Cursed be the bitches and the snakes,

And listen not to their advice.

Forgive them not for their mistakes,

For they cost us our Paradise.

[Dar0A0Nakk]

"the herb that be so good" -

As good as this series will be - Nothing will top the Kent Hovind's DD series

[kittehprimo]

love the additions. they should make them permanent.

[AuntieDiluvian]

Very enjoyable!

[Corneilius5188]

Brilliant, really. I hope you continue this series.

[bonnie43uk]

I thought this was going to be about Genesis's 3rd album Foxtrot, one of thier best in my opinion, Peter Gabriel's voice and Tony Banks keyboards are wonderfully interfused.

..And can i also point out, Serpents dont eat dust.

[GoblinXXX]

@bonnie43uk If serpents ate dust, we would not have had to invent the Roomba.

[mahdatonta]

The Good Book is a helluvalot more enjoyable listening to your reading than when I try to stumble through it. Hope you'll continue on and on. Thanks

[Blackjack030190]

Ah what a way to start the day XD

[saxmanchiro]

I feel more fulfilled all of a sudden. And it was good.

[Wolfau5]

Bloody brilliant.

[Gekkibi]

Drinking a cup of quality tea and watching this video. Best "morning" ever (Well, afternoon already, but I just woke up)!

[Hyardacil]

"What you gonna do about it?"

Hah, brilliant.

[CurtisNunez]

One of the funniest series I've ever seen on youtube, keep it up sir!

[anoger]

haha Good one, favorit it is :)

[colourmegone]

I always rejoice in a Bible reading on a Sunday, Hallelujah! Praise Dog!

[mcrd2001]

This is a wonderful vid for viewing early on a Sunday morning. Bravo!