Added: 4 months ago
From: Discern4
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  • I'm a large My Little Pony fan. So this video really enlightened me.

  • "Abstain from all forms of evil" is a perfectly good principle if you have a reasonable concept of what's evil.

  • So, what you are really saying is that fundamentalists unknowingly speak against everything in their Bible?

  • Anyone remember Wisdom Tree's "Spiritual Warfare" - it was essentially a "christian" Zelda parody. Of course, those passages about the "full armor of god" (shield of faith, etc.) sound like interesting items to have in a game of D&D. Irony: SW could be considered more offensive than Zelda- Not making this up: it calls A PEAR a "fruit of the H-ly Sp-r-t." (dashes mine, don't want to do unpardonable sin;) and you throw pears at your enemies to kill them, and watch them die pleading for mercy!

  • Strangely, I never heard of the Zelda games being condemned by pentas that I knew personally. Although they DID condemn Metallica and D&D. So that preacher thought the game was bad because you're fighting evil creatures? Isn't that exactly what pentas are all about? Yea, sometimes they sound like Motley Crue; i.e. shouting at the devil! And what about the fact that Link has a cross on his shield? Of course any kind of logical consistency is too much to ask.

  • What a psychotic bastard. 

  • I was really expecting you to say he-man wasn't allowed because he's gay also cabbage patch kids are creepy.

  • You know you are more likely to be molested by a priest than a tele evangelist because even though the evangelist has more toys there are all those pesky cameras

  • Fundies hate star wars because jesus was a sith lord: they will join us or die!

  • Owww, does anyone have a good remedy for getting palm shaped dents out of your face?

  • "god isn't master of the universe; he-man is!"

    LMAOSINE

  • I'm sorry. Trolls WERE demonic. My sister had DOZENS of them. She grew up to be an amoral kleptomaniac. That being said, I'm sure that if any corruption happened it was her corrupting the little plastic beasties, not vice-versa, and any resemblance to something demonic was actually a point in their favor. My parents have changed their beliefs quite a bit from the time I was a child, but some things can't be easily shaken off. Excellent delivery and great timing on your video, BTW.

  • If you want to see some real zaniness, do a search on a TOM HANKS movie called "Mazes and Monsters". Even amongst moderate middle-class "social" Christians, it was all the rage that Dungeons & Dragons was going to destroy me and my brothers, make us insane, and maybe even condemn our souls to hell.

  • It's not fair that the tel-evangelist got to play with He-man toys and you kids were forbidden :P

  • @BETAmosquito Got that right. In the full video he gets to watch all the banned cartoons (he can't wait to show us more and more clips), and then he has all the action figures as well. It's like a dream come true for us 80s kids.

    Then he pulls out Snake Mountain, which must've been an expensive toy, and he just casually says "yeah, we picked this up at the toy store..." as though it were nothing to shell out all this cash on toys we dreamed about :)

  • I had that exact same "Empire Strikes Back" book and tape, and other Star Wars read alongs. Still had them up until earlier this year, when I ebayed them.

    If those idiots at the end had actually watched the films they'd know the reason Yoda is surrounded with snakes is because he lives in a bloody swamp!

  • Keeping it in context is key. Love is power. Jesus is Love. Follow Jesus if u truly wanna know "fun". :-D

  • Laugh-A-Lot Bear WINS!!!!!!!!

  • BTW, aren't there unicorncs in the bible too....just sayin' ;)

  • @Arkticus yea, Unicorns, Dragons, Leviathans, Mandrakes, Nephilim, and of course the Bible mentions The Devil! So fundies can't read the Bible?!

  • @GladeSwope I thought it was a requirement of fundies to not read it, and just copy-paste from those all-important verses that allow them to hate the things they don't understand....

  • Wow I saw thelivingdinosaurs shout out and came here and you have earned my subscription

  • Damn brother! I thought I had it rough growing up.

  • So what do fundamentalists, do to kill time if every thing is banned?

  • @hatefulvengeance said: "So what do fundamentalists, do to kill time if every thing is banned?"

    We judge each other and other people :)

  • *face palm*

  • OMG, I recognize some elements from my own childhood : O

  • peculiar how their "almighty" god is utterly helpless against any opposition, even children's toys. Very strange.

    Even when I was a Christian I avoided the holy rollers because they were crazy and they accused anyone not with them of being 'demonic'. These freaks are the ones proclaiming the next US elections to be "spiritual warfare". That is a very dangerous thing to demonize everyone that isn't you. We've seen the results of such insanity in eastern Africa lately.

  • Hi Discern4

    TheLivingDinosaur also sent me here...and I'm glad he did.

    It's a shame you never got to enjoy Zelda as a kid....

  • Speaking of Saturday Morning Mind Control. For fuck's sake, how do people believe in any of this these days?

  • Thank you so much for sharing this. I am a strong fundamentalist Christian, and the presence of such ridiculously legalistic beliefs really makes me very sad. My parents took the perspective of allowing me to have such toys and games, and would sit down and make sure that I was aware that they were just imaginary.

    There is nothing wrong with imagination and story-telling, it is just important to make sure that kids don't mix up real life with fantasy. Thanks for sharing, though.

  • OMG! Are you my brother?

  • livingdinosaur sent me, well done indeed. I subscribed and I look forward to seeing what you do in the future.

  • "why not other household objects vs. toys"

    Because it's easier to bully children and take their toys away than it is to bully mommy into giving up her favorite skin cream. The child may cry or pout. Mommy will rip your face off.

  • Very good video, thank you.

  • Those cabbage patch kids are evil - just look at them for Christ's sake

  • this was a really nice video. Its a great insight into the jaw-dropping craziness that is fundamentalism and religion in general. I like the style as informative and humorous without being overly mean-spiritted. The classic video game music was awesome too =)

    Thanx to livingdino (who is often way too mean spiritted in his videos) for directing viewers this way.

    subscribing =)

  • No Zelda?! I'm so sorry... I cry for you. D;

  • Ive wasnt raised this way but I had friends that were. BTW Is that 8 bit Friday the 13th at 4:38? That game was hard as shit.

  • I see so many christians that love Chronicles of Narnia and LOTR but call Harry Potter and Golden Compass demonic.

  • @IntrovertedLuddite2 I know, just because Narnia and LOTR were made by christians, that must make it ok, when it's really not much different than what they call "demonic". Doesn't make sense to me. It's like Twilight with the mormons. Because the author is LDS, a lot of mormons think it's ok to read/watch Twilight.

    And yes, the tune was from Friday the 13th! If you haven't already, check out Angry Video Game Nerd on YouTube, he does hilarious reviews of such games.

  • @Discern4 Oh yeah Im subscribed to him.

  • My brain hurts trying to understand the level of stupidity displayed by fundies. I guess if you actually believe that Satan is real and that magic really works, then anything, no matter how absurd and stupid is possible.

  • @rrward If I were a fundy and believed that magic really works, I would use it! Screw the technicalities, we're savin' souls, for that cause anything goes!

  • I haven't enjoyed a video this much in so long, THANK YOU!! Gave me giggles seeing all the toys I had (or wish I had) when I was a kid :) So glad my mom was an alcoholic instead of a fundamentalist :P

  • @kelseama Thanks a lot!

  • I grew up with my extremely Catholic grandma. One time she broke a spatula over my face because someone sneezed and I said "gesundheit" instead of "God bless you."

    And of course, video games were evil. The only game I was allowed to play was Columns for the Genesis. Toy wise, I had Lego blocks.

  • Great vid! :D

  • she flipped. cause that picture didn't show Simon being anything "holy" as she saw it.

    I look back at that and laugh now, but when I was a kid, that really confused me when she ripped up that issue and took the game away.

  • @Cuthla re: simon's quest:

    BELIEVE IN MAGIC AND YOU WILL BE SAVED.

    (yes, that's a real quote from the game!)

  • I remember my mom practically freaking out over the cover of Nintendo Power that was promoting Castlevainia 2: Simon's Quest. she got me the game cause after reading up on the game, thought Simon was a good character for me to be playing a game about (Simon is a HOLY vampire hunter, therefore he endorses the church).

    when she saw the cover for Nintendo Power that had Simon standing in a creepy setting carrying Dracula's head like a it was a trophy and was looking for a spot to place it (cont)

  • @Cuthla Poor Simon... the Belmonts are misunderstood even by real Christians and not just other Christians in the series, it seems. XD

    You'd think they'd have learned their lesson when they had to let the Belmonts return from their exile to fight Dracula. XD

  • These preachers are still hiding in some cave i the desert.

    They should be sought out and brought out to face a posy of the adults who were unnecessarily deprived of culture by their deeds

    Make them recant their folly.

  • Hi Discern4,

    I was wondering if you still talk to your parents?  Hope I do not offend, but if I were in your shoe's I would not give them any of my time.

  • @fatcat2939 I love my parents. As I mentioned in the video, they just wanted to do what they felt was right by God. It's hard to blame them when they sincerely thought they were protecting me from "demons" and whatnot (although there is a balance). I feel there are bigger fish to fry when it comes to refuting fundamentalist beliefs.

  • I lost ALL my first edition D & D manuals...and ALL my Iron Maiden albums. They burned the albums at a book burning. sickos....

  • @rastarigate The sad thing is that some of that stuff can be impossible to replace.

  • This brings to mind a mind-baffling site I saw in the late 80's.

    I was in a local hobby shop, and a kid (maybe 11 or 12) wanted his mom to buy him the 2nd Ed AD&D Dungeonmaster's Guide. She refused, stating that AD&D was demonic and she didn't want him getting involved with the occult. She told him to pick another game.

    The kid had a big smile on his face as he walked out with the latest edition of (true story, on my father's grave) the Call of Cthulhu RPG.

    O_o Uh... Yeah...

  • @419Films *mind-baffling sight

    Dammit... :-)

  • @419Films can't be much worse than Left Behind...

  • Wow. how crazy. So sorry for the kids who grow up with this craziness.

  • Silly christians, why they objected to the unicorns, they're mentioned in the bible along with dragon, griffon and other silliness.

  • And fundie non-pentecostals think Pentecostals are demonic!

  • You forgot to add the gay undertones from He-Man to the list of reasons.

    :P

  • subbed

  • Hidden in this video is the best argument I've ever seen for christianity. It saved you from the awful horror of Zelda 2.

  • I'm glad that TheLivingDinosaur sent me over - Subbed

    Those 2 at the end are just nuts - Are you going to do a video about them or others Like them are are still around?

  • I know that feel bro! LOL

    I lived thru exactly what you described.

    I grew up in a pentecostal family as well and sadly this "diabolic" phobia was also exported to Latin America (like most american pop culture) where it got probably even a little more overblown than in the US and elsewhere!

    We actually "ritually burned" a Nintendo 64 and some evil toys around '98! XD

    So glad my love of science and natural curiosity were never repressed by my parents thou, that became my salvation eventually! :3

  • @thehside said "We actually "ritually burned" a Nintendo 64 and some evil toys around '98! XD"

    I've wondered about the kinds of toys younger fundies would be throwing out today. We had a few burning sessions ourselves. I burnt a christian book on witchcraft because I felt it was promoting witchcraft too much. And I burned some game magazines that had demonic games in them.

  • The Living Dinosaur sent me as well. Interesting video. Did the church you went to stop using one dollar bills as well, since they have the pagan symbol of a pyramid with an eye in it? I wonder how they would react if Nintendo decided to release NES games like "Devil World" in America!

  • I'm so sorry you had to deal with this when growing up, I would have gone mad.

  • You sir, did an Amazing job on this. Instant fave and sub, plus a like!

  • I think I remember where that song in the middle is from.. wasn't that some kind of Gameboy game called Sword of Hope?

  • @evilmiera Good guess! That track was actually from Friday the 13th NES. I did use a couple Gameboy tracks as well.

  • Hey nice, video. My dad got rid of my snake mountain toy because he said it was "Evil". Getting rid of a kids toy that he/she loves is evil.

  • Oddly enough, the Sun and the Rainbow are traditional Judeo-Christian symbols for Yahweh, pointing out the depth of ignorance of those who call them demonic.

  • Sent By TheLivingDinosaur. Dude, thats sounds like a lot of trouble for one childhood. I was watching the Taxi Driver, Aliens, Full Metal Jacket at 5-6 years old. I was not big with games but they were allowed on time limit. Anything apart from porn and splatter really.... Whenever I hear such stories from ex western church members, I think that believers in my country are pure amateurs :P Glad you came through well.

  • All my favorite toys and television-shows growing up...

    as a child taking those away from me would have let

    to some serious rebellion and abnormal behavior.

    I was otherwise a very docile child.

    I see now how lucky i was, having atheist parents

  • The guys at the end are absolutly insane...

  • I just watched this vid over on TLD's channel. It's scary how many things are forbidden by these people.

  • Are you telling me that Christians in your church hated a fictional videogame character because it went against their own fictional character?

  • @JJPHILLYLG lol

  • @JJPHILLYLG The fact that a fictional character threatens their beliefs tells me a lot about their beliefs.

  • @JJPHILLYLG Actually, it doesn't need to "go against" their bullshit. Anything that gains popularity and does not actively promote their crap is necessarily evil and probably of demonic origins. It is a variety of insanity to my mind.

    I used to be a communist and they were the same way. If it was popular and didn't promote their ideas, it was misleading and a danger to the revolution. Odd how similar Christians and commies are. Very similar. Each fears and hates individual freedom.

  • I remember being told that the first bunch of the cabbage patch dolls were actually named after demons.

  • subbed

  • *facepalm*

  • TheLivingDinosaur sent me here and I saw the lay of the land....the land was good :)

  • A demon around every corner. Growing up in South Africa, this kind of mental retardation and pathetic superstition was pervasive, specifically amongst white people. Fundamentalists say the darnedest things. Times have changed, but not really: Christianity has lost some ground, but quackery of all kinds is still as prevalent as ever in SA.

  • Concerning that last clip about He-Man, they are actually dead-on. He-Man and the Masters of the Universe were intended to be gods and I still have an old sell-sheet of the very first run He-Man action figures calling them the "Pantheon of Eternia" He-Man was cooler than Jesus though. Much better accessories.

  • Thou shall not...have fun

  • TheLivingDinosaur hath commanded I sub to thee, so here I am. I grew up similar to you and remember our ministers railing against Dungeons and Dragons and Thundercats as being tools of Satan. Thankfully my parents pretty much ignored them. I missed out on Zelda too.

  • @goliathprime Yeah my church also railed on D&D due to the satanic scare/hoax of the 80s. I never had an interest in it though. Thanks a lot for subscribing!

  • @Discern4 Wow! Your parents really didn't let you have a life as a child, did they?

  • But wait, aren't unicorns mentioned in the bible? You can't hate unicorns, that's fucked up! :D

  • 8:37 - 8:46 It's ironic that most Christians today see some of that stuff as a gift from god.

  • no zelda, no he-man, no tv WTF, you where in Hell!!!

  • 4:42 "Fourteen Things Witches Hope Parents Never Find Out"

    So these kinds of people believe there are actual witches today, on our planet? Believing that must be like living in a whole other dimension. Freaky.

  • So what was it like being raised thinking the devil was something real and tangible? I wasn't raised that way so i have no clue. 

  • @finderfinder100

    Terrifying...it's a viscious circle.You are told that demons trouble people in the night and then you have nightmares because you worry about demons trying to get you.

  • @finderfinder100 Between the devil possessing your toys, and a God that doesn't answer your prayers and always makes you feel guilty, it's no wonder people are saying religious belief is a mental illness.

  • @Discern4 to me the devil is at best a reflection of the bad aspects of ourselves. We do bad things because we want to do bad things not because some outside force is making us do them. Guilt can be an amazing strong weapon for the control of the young and old. I was lucky in that wasn't raise religious--truth be told I am not even sure where my mom stands on religion. She was raised Catholic but i don't think she has set foot in a church other than for weddings in a long time.

  • Why is the church against unicorns toys, if the unicorns are in the bible?

    

  • Sent by a dinosaur.

  • Well TheLivingDinosaur sent me here....

    Just subbed...

    You are brilliant!

    So glad that he sent me!

  • No church before the age of 21. It's much worse than drinking.

  • Darn it I was going to make a video just like this over the weekend!!!

    Anyway, I'm a little bit younger than you but my early childhood was in the late 80's/early 90's so I know all about the Satanic Panic and it's craziness.

    My brother had his Optimus Prime toy taken away because some preacher said Transformers were evil. We were allowed to see Disney movies but there were rumors about secret messages in them.

    You should talk to some Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses. Their stories are nuts.

  • @Skepticktok Sorry mate! :) I'd love to see your video if you do one.

  • My goodness, My Little Pony is a unicorn! Uhm, but unicorns are in the Bible.

  • Yet care bears are far nicer than those that god sent down to murder the youths who had mocked a prophet for his baldness.

  • Transformers were still good though yeah?

  • @ThePariahLivesOn According to one sad story from another fundie, Transformers were evil because it promotes the worship of technology.

  • @Discern4 All hail lord Megatron

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