It really makes me wonder what people are actually thinking when I talk to them. I always assume they feel the way I do when people talk to me... I guess it's different for everyone, ne?
and i like how you have explained that the factors in our un-conscious part of our minds shape our behaviour for example, not accepting compliments lol
Thanks for your comment, Sam. Psychology is definitely a fun subject cause we get to delve into our own and other people's minds. It can be messy and exciting at the same time. :-)
Hey Ken, I am from England and I took psychology as one of my four subjects for my A levels. Later on in the year I will be studying the work of Freud (the pioneer of the ice burg theory) in my psychodynamic approach to Psychology, he views the top of the ice burg as the conscious mind and the part of the ice burg below the water the un-conscious mind, Freud states that many important influences on our behaviour come from the part of the mind we have no direct awareness of, the unconscious.
Very nice video, Ken. Great analogy and a nice introspection about the inability to accept compliments! That little bit that we see of an individual's personality certainly can lead to snap judgments..only as we learn more can we appreciate the depth of the well- springs of behavior. Our mobile society seems to compound the behavior, for so much is judged on appearance, and why should anyone reveal anything important about themselves to someone who probably will not be around in a month or day!
"why should anyone reveal anything important about themselves to someone who probably will not be around in a month or day!"
You inspired me to answer your non-question, directed at anyone:
"To show that each connection we make with another person, despite length of time, can be just as valid and meaningful as the next. The "reveal" doesn't need to be a persons spoken history but as simple as an action shared."
That may be so, but without a continuity of communication, the person is left puzzled by the silence. You tube seems to be designed for people darting in and out of our lives.
mm, i actually have the same problem about accepting compliments, but for me, it's because i was raised german, and it's a cultural dictation not to take compliments.
1. Most people are fully aware of the tip of the iceberg they leave everyone else to see.
2. You simply have no chance to get to n=know a person better , so you just have to guess where the "blood comes from", which is even worse than accepting the person as he is, because some people do not like assumptions about themselves.
3. Sometimes it is not ethical to ask a person what their problem is.
Example: I called an insurance office today. The operator was VERY mean and loud, that led to some negative feelings towards her from my side, then I sat down and thought what might be the problem: her hubby was drunk the other night, she has terrible kids, and little money , plus she has a hearing desease and thus tends to talk louder... no matter what story I made up, I did not start liking her more
I agree that we often don't have the opportunity to really get to know a person better, depending on the circumstance. I also agree that it can be inappropriate at times to ask a person about their problems.
That being said, what I actually meant had little to do with the other person and more on ourselves and how we approach those situations.
but you actually mentioned that we need to deal with the cause of the problem and not just cover it with a blanket. What I suggest to people is to learn a universal language of politness when out there in the society, so that our icebergs didn't collide with each other.
We really don't have control over other people's actions (like your example of the operator), and assuming or guessing their back story would be considered a false perspective of the other person (and like you mentioned, people don't like that).
What we CAN do in the operator situation is to simply be aware that they're having a bad day, week, or year. We don't have to like her and we certainly don't have to agree with or approve her actions, but we can fundamentally relate that we've all had those moments when we, too, have acted inappropriately.
I think trying to guess at somebody's root problems when you only interact with them for such a brief period, and in an unnatural setting (work) is extremely difficult.
However I can probably answer this, as I work in an Insurance Office...not as an operator though. =)
Working on the phones in an Insurance Office can be very stressful & abusive. Everyone that's calling in is not happy already, as they're filing a claim. Meaning something bad happened to them: they crashed their car, their house burnt down, they're injured seriously, etc. 80% to 90% of the time people who call in are cooperative & civil.
The rest of the time they're uncooperative, don't want tell you what happened, they might be fraudulent & mad we've caught them, frustrated of the whole accident and taking it out on the operator, think yelling enough will get them what they want, swearing, etc. I'm not saying that you were one of the 20%, but the five guy before you might have been.
This is coupled with high workload, short staffed, and low pay is not good. The Insurance Company might have just hired bad people for the job, as that's all they can find because they pay bad.
Anyways, that's what I believe the issue was with the person you talked to. I'm not trying to say you did anything wrong.....definitely the operator should had treated you better regardless of who they were talking to prior. Hope that gives some perspective.
OMG maybe you need to help me in pyc. lol im a pyc. minor, and i must say you did justice to the subject :::round of applause::: This is truly for the educated folks, lol.
Hey awesome video again Ken! You did an awesome job of explaining and the visuals helped out a lot ;) My mum is really into psychology, and can analyze someone better than anyone I know :D She would love this I think I'm going to show this to her :D
But anyway, I learned something very similar to the iceberg theory in my Psychology classes, and I think you threw out the points really well there. :D
Is this because your Asian? I think Asian's cannot take compliments. It never ceased to amaze me that my husband (who is a whitey) could say thank you for a compliment and I couldn't accept it.
I can see where you're coming from. Being humble is one thing but sometimes being too humble, or too modest, can really downplay how you feel about your own achievements. I am the same way, I always downplay things so that I can't be disappointed.
Thanks for opening up for your audience onepov! It was a refreshing video! i really enjoyed your insight!
Great video! Thank you, it WAS different from your regular video, and I was skeptical to watch it at first; however, I'm glad I did. I actually learned a lot and the ICEBERG theory was somethign I had heard about, but never understood in detail. Thanks for the insightful video Onepov! Much love to you and your vids..
Fantastic video
vincyballer1 1 year ago
Cool video man, kinda gives me a new way to look at problems/people. You got some good videos keep up the work.
XOTEdgeX 2 years ago 2
It really makes me wonder what people are actually thinking when I talk to them. I always assume they feel the way I do when people talk to me... I guess it's different for everyone, ne?
AshdownVampire 3 years ago
and i like how you have explained that the factors in our un-conscious part of our minds shape our behaviour for example, not accepting compliments lol
thanks this helped me
Sam xx
bangersandmash101 3 years ago
Thanks for your comment, Sam. Psychology is definitely a fun subject cause we get to delve into our own and other people's minds. It can be messy and exciting at the same time. :-)
onepov 3 years ago
Hey Ken, I am from England and I took psychology as one of my four subjects for my A levels. Later on in the year I will be studying the work of Freud (the pioneer of the ice burg theory) in my psychodynamic approach to Psychology, he views the top of the ice burg as the conscious mind and the part of the ice burg below the water the un-conscious mind, Freud states that many important influences on our behaviour come from the part of the mind we have no direct awareness of, the unconscious.
bangersandmash101 3 years ago
Very nice video, Ken. Great analogy and a nice introspection about the inability to accept compliments! That little bit that we see of an individual's personality certainly can lead to snap judgments..only as we learn more can we appreciate the depth of the well- springs of behavior. Our mobile society seems to compound the behavior, for so much is judged on appearance, and why should anyone reveal anything important about themselves to someone who probably will not be around in a month or day!
raconter1 3 years ago 3
"why should anyone reveal anything important about themselves to someone who probably will not be around in a month or day!"
You inspired me to answer your non-question, directed at anyone:
"To show that each connection we make with another person, despite length of time, can be just as valid and meaningful as the next. The "reveal" doesn't need to be a persons spoken history but as simple as an action shared."
onepov 3 years ago
That may be so, but without a continuity of communication, the person is left puzzled by the silence. You tube seems to be designed for people darting in and out of our lives.
:) Jack
raconter1 3 years ago
WOW, i like the psycology vids,
very smart
apta216 3 years ago 6
That's perfect, Thanks man keep it up, your doing a great job
badboy4life3 3 years ago 6
sounds like Ken's work is related to psychology ... interesting topic ...
davidhalifax 3 years ago 3
thank you. i needed to hear this.
slashtvbaby 3 years ago 2
so im going through problem and i just wanna thank you because your ice berg example relates reallly closely to it and has helped out a lot. thanks!
holdmiester 4 years ago
so im going through problem and i just wanna thank you because your ice berg example relates reallly closely to it and has helped out a lot. thanks!
holdmiester 4 years ago 2
mm, i actually have the same problem about accepting compliments, but for me, it's because i was raised german, and it's a cultural dictation not to take compliments.
butterflymuncher 4 years ago
I love it. You always know how to put things so eloquently. And yes...that IS a compliment :p
aries274 4 years ago
ooo,
hope yo beta!
well duh, but oh well.
nice vid!
magical0wanna0be 4 years ago
OMFG I love you
rappytaffy1 4 years ago
Great video, very informative and interesting. Hope to see more in the future.
BlitzWing00 4 years ago
Great points and examples, ^_^
Gojigirl55 4 years ago
You're very insightful. Nice presentation. I'm glad I subscribed to you.
dewseux 4 years ago
Tis theory does not work in some cases:
1. Most people are fully aware of the tip of the iceberg they leave everyone else to see.
2. You simply have no chance to get to n=know a person better , so you just have to guess where the "blood comes from", which is even worse than accepting the person as he is, because some people do not like assumptions about themselves.
3. Sometimes it is not ethical to ask a person what their problem is.
Samuella133 4 years ago
Example: I called an insurance office today. The operator was VERY mean and loud, that led to some negative feelings towards her from my side, then I sat down and thought what might be the problem: her hubby was drunk the other night, she has terrible kids, and little money , plus she has a hearing desease and thus tends to talk louder... no matter what story I made up, I did not start liking her more
Samuella133 4 years ago
I agree that we often don't have the opportunity to really get to know a person better, depending on the circumstance. I also agree that it can be inappropriate at times to ask a person about their problems.
That being said, what I actually meant had little to do with the other person and more on ourselves and how we approach those situations.
onepov 4 years ago
but you actually mentioned that we need to deal with the cause of the problem and not just cover it with a blanket. What I suggest to people is to learn a universal language of politness when out there in the society, so that our icebergs didn't collide with each other.
Samuella133 4 years ago
We really don't have control over other people's actions (like your example of the operator), and assuming or guessing their back story would be considered a false perspective of the other person (and like you mentioned, people don't like that).
onepov 4 years ago
What we CAN do in the operator situation is to simply be aware that they're having a bad day, week, or year. We don't have to like her and we certainly don't have to agree with or approve her actions, but we can fundamentally relate that we've all had those moments when we, too, have acted inappropriately.
onepov 4 years ago
I think trying to guess at somebody's root problems when you only interact with them for such a brief period, and in an unnatural setting (work) is extremely difficult.
However I can probably answer this, as I work in an Insurance Office...not as an operator though. =)
BlitzWing00 4 years ago
Working on the phones in an Insurance Office can be very stressful & abusive. Everyone that's calling in is not happy already, as they're filing a claim. Meaning something bad happened to them: they crashed their car, their house burnt down, they're injured seriously, etc. 80% to 90% of the time people who call in are cooperative & civil.
BlitzWing00 4 years ago
The rest of the time they're uncooperative, don't want tell you what happened, they might be fraudulent & mad we've caught them, frustrated of the whole accident and taking it out on the operator, think yelling enough will get them what they want, swearing, etc. I'm not saying that you were one of the 20%, but the five guy before you might have been.
BlitzWing00 4 years ago
This is coupled with high workload, short staffed, and low pay is not good. The Insurance Company might have just hired bad people for the job, as that's all they can find because they pay bad.
Anyways, that's what I believe the issue was with the person you talked to. I'm not trying to say you did anything wrong.....definitely the operator should had treated you better regardless of who they were talking to prior. Hope that gives some perspective.
(Sorry for length of reply)
BlitzWing00 4 years ago
OMG maybe you need to help me in pyc. lol im a pyc. minor, and i must say you did justice to the subject :::round of applause::: This is truly for the educated folks, lol.
thanks for the comment on my video as well.
(^_^)GRACE
BTW what do u use to edit ur vid.s?
LovelyInc 4 years ago
wow, that was a really good example. Nice video!
165128032 4 years ago
Hey awesome video again Ken! You did an awesome job of explaining and the visuals helped out a lot ;) My mum is really into psychology, and can analyze someone better than anyone I know :D She would love this I think I'm going to show this to her :D
Antaya S :)
AntayaS 4 years ago
I heard seagull noises at the end!
But anyway, I learned something very similar to the iceberg theory in my Psychology classes, and I think you threw out the points really well there. :D
orangecatfiona 4 years ago
wow. very well done and said. you actually taught the iceberg theory better than my psych teacher. (haha, compliment, much?!)
bucketss 4 years ago
Anything from onepov is awesome :D
Wirld 4 years ago
Very insightful vlog! Can't wait to see what you have in store for us for the next one!
annedg 4 years ago
This was an awesome video. Psychology is something very interesting. If I wasn't going in medical school, I would definitely learn psychology. :)
ObviouslyJacques 4 years ago
This video... really taught me something !!
I want to become a physiologist!! XD
Thanks for the vid great job!!
jenniferdepaz 4 years ago
I Like How You Made The Pictures, You rReally Smart!
stevenis18 4 years ago
:) i love your video;
i love your shirt too xD
" i am a secret ninja "
i USE to have problems recieving compliments xD
jwelsxx 4 years ago
Is this because your Asian? I think Asian's cannot take compliments. It never ceased to amaze me that my husband (who is a whitey) could say thank you for a compliment and I couldn't accept it.
moooingcow 4 years ago
Ken:
Sorry that you had the flu. I had a cold all week and suffered coughs and so on. Bummer.
Nice video but what did question did you answer? You should receive compliments gracefully and beam your nice smile.
timc101 4 years ago
awe, m so glad to see ur feeling better!!
~awesome points, The way u chose to explain it was really good, very easy to understand!!
magicgurl7 4 years ago
Great video. I really appreciate you taking the time to explain that.. take care peace
Romermedia 4 years ago
I can see where you're coming from. Being humble is one thing but sometimes being too humble, or too modest, can really downplay how you feel about your own achievements. I am the same way, I always downplay things so that I can't be disappointed.
Thanks for opening up for your audience onepov! It was a refreshing video! i really enjoyed your insight!
kakashigarg 4 years ago
Onepov,
Great video! Thank you, it WAS different from your regular video, and I was skeptical to watch it at first; however, I'm glad I did. I actually learned a lot and the ICEBERG theory was somethign I had heard about, but never understood in detail. Thanks for the insightful video Onepov! Much love to you and your vids..
GraceLoves 4 years ago
I'm the 6th viewer of this video...what an honour.
TheBriefing 4 years ago
that was a lot to take in. but I understood you 100%. Thanks duuuude.
PinoyBoyy 4 years ago