New Bible On Psychotherapy in 3 days plus PwnerGeist update

[leffehoegaarden]

Oi!

Smeerfak!

Hello darling, you do realise that you're talking to a sympatiser of terrorism don't you. SinnFein are the political wing of the IRA, they're the ones that doo all the fist pumping when a bomb goes of then rush around collecting money to build another one.

[jolulipa]

Well is Sunday and I haven't see the episode... so what gives?

[bobsmeerfak]

@jolulipa Long story... I had no idea what I was up against in editing this one. Now uploaded and will be live shortly...

[jolulipa]

@bobsmeerfak ok... you're safe ...for now.

[SinnFein4ever]

@bobsmeerfak

Can you make a video for us, topless?

[bobsmeerfak]

@SinnFein4ever Sure. You first.

[SinnFein4ever]

@bobsmeerfak

I'm not male.

[bobsmeerfak]

@SinnFein4ever I know. But it's only fair. At the very least, to make your request equitable, you have to make a video showing midriff or bare legs.

[SinnFein4ever]

@bobsmeerfak

God will become a pacifist before that happens.

[bobsmeerfak]

@SinnFein4ever Is that the same as saying "when Hell freezes over"?

[SinnFein4ever]

@bobsmeerfak

Yep.

[bobsmeerfak]

@SinnFein4ever So I am to make a partially naked video on YouTube which you may view in complete anonymity due to the unlikelihood of God ever laying down arms or the Lake of Fire ever becoming solid enough to host a tour of the Ice Capades?

[SinnFein4ever]

@bobsmeerfak

I wouldn't call having just your shirt off, "partially naked".

Are you insecure about your body?

[bobsmeerfak]

@SinnFein4ever So if that's not partially naked, neither is midriff or bare legs. So what's your excuse? It can't be because of God's warring nature.

And mostly, no. But I'm human, so occasionally.

[SinnFein4ever]

@bobsmeerfak

"So what's your excuse?"

I'm a good little Christian girl.

[bobsmeerfak]

@SinnFein4ever The truth always finds a way out. So you're a poe atheist?

[SinnFein4ever]

@bobsmeerfak

Well, I certainly like a lot of his work.

"Annabel Lee" is one of his best.

[SinnFein4ever]

@bobsmeerfak

I never liked "The Raven", though.

By the way, you forgot to capitalize the letter "P" in his name.

No offense.

[yesimsandw1ch]

Why are you so awesome?

[bobsmeerfak]

@yesimsandw1ch Still think I'm awesome after being a whole week late on my delivery promise? Video is up now and should be live in a few minutes... :)

[yesimsandw1ch]

@bobsmeerfak Yes I do. :D

[HarrysSecret]

WTF is a banana hammock?

[bobsmeerfak]

@HarrysSecret Don't ask. The world probably shouldn't know the answer to this. Whatever it is.

[PwnerGeist]

@saiyanmage I spent my whole child hood being pimped out by my friends little sister!It's not my fault I dress ready for the job!It's not my fault I like being stepped on It's not my fault it's not my fault it's not my fault!All the moms would say I looked handsome and "every mother should have a good little boy like you"I'm not a dirty duster wearing slut I'm not a banana hammock wearing whore!......Ever notice how the banana hammock perfectly fits your man zone?

[saiyanmage]

@PwnerGeist

...I am going to friend request you now.

[saiyanmage]

@PwnerGeist I don't know how to add people in the new layout :(

[PwnerGeist]

@saiyanmage I have a tough time with Female cops when ever they stop me on the street they always frisk me for long amounts of time.One threatened that if I was Hiding something from her I'd get a baton up the ass "But that's not a baton it's called a Tonfa" she didn't like the fact she was corrected by a whore.Then pinched my nipple and slapped me on the ass and told me to leave.Then there was my job as a coffee boy....

[PwnerGeist]

@saiyanmage I use to love coffee but because of my last boss I hate it now hence my love for Tea.She really liked Super hot coffee and when it wasn't hot enough she'd toss it on me."Not hot enough" or "Too cold" she'd say "But don't those mean the same thing?" I asked "I didn't know foot rests could talk" she said in a aggravated tone then I got on all fours.She was horrible!

[PwnerGeist]

@saiyanmage During Negotiation meetings she'd have me massage her feet and some times I'd even suck her toes.There was this one time I was doing so when the president of the company walked in to have a chat with her and he was obviously bothered by it.He cleared his throat in response she "OH make sure you get the other one" she said to me ignoring the presidents discomfort "Go on" she said in a professional yet demanding tone.The woman had Ovaries of Steel.

[PwnerGeist]

@saiyanmage Hell even my deconversion from Christianity was inadvertently caused by the way I dressed.Sister Annie May said the catalyst for my new style was "Touching dicks with the devil and tasting the muff n cherry of his wife Lilith" she said I needed to get on my knees for Jesus instead "I responded "I don't think I'm gonna find Jesus on my knees with my tongue in your crotch and I'm pretty sure last time I wasn't doused with holy water when I "got on my knees for Jesus""

[PwnerGeist]

@saiyanmage She got angry and took the paddle to me all over she said "Once I went out and did work for the lord I'd change my ways" I said "NO My friends little sister has been whoring me out to Middle aged women and their sexually repressed daughters" needless to say she didn't believe me "Little Jessie would never do a thing like that she's young and innocent!Unlike you DAMN WHORE"

[bobsmeerfak]

@PwnerGeist Keep it down in there. I can hear you typing from out here in the living room. I'm trying to finish this video, you miscreant.

[PwnerGeist]

@bobsmeerfak With any luck this can become a comic strip and possibly the birth of my YT page.MY LUCK HAS GONE UP EVER SINCE MOVING IN!All I need to do now is correct all the Grammar mistakes and start making concept art.

[bobsmeerfak]

@PwnerGeist Grammar? A man living locked in a closet and beaten by liberated North Korean traffic mavens while his wacky landlord makes YouTube videos out in the living room? Hell, who needs correct grammar in a comic strip this sick and twisted?

[PwnerGeist]

@bobsmeerfak Good point

[PwnerGeist]

@saiyanmage In the small town I was from everything was reversed Women were in the dominant role and men were considered to be: worthless<sperm donors<Living Vibrators<Heavy Lifters<Car Mechanics.This religion Moved women to the dominant role based on the fact Eve challenged God and changed the world.At least that's how they view original sin.Now many men have left in search of freedom elsewhere I became an Assassin and part time Masseur(male massage therapist).

[PwnerGeist]

@saiyanmage Back in that town the people were very superstitious whenever i would walk in public people thought I was bit by Vampires but those were just hickeys left by my clients.When they saw this They would antagonize me for it tie me up step on me spit on me hell sometimes even drug me and I would wake up covered in what I hoped to be water one time I woke up with a tramp stamp.In that town i was just a piece of meat luckily it was easy to get a job that wasn't........dirty.

[PwnerGeist]

@saiyanmage Even though I'd find clean work I was still assaulted.There was this one foreign girl who spoke English poorly when others were around....when ever we were alone cleaning up she would grope my ass and speak perfect English."*Name withheld* you worked hard today*devilish grin*think you could do a little over time"this abuse went on for months.One day the boss found out and said "I pay 50 bucks for a massage and you offer no happy endings but she gets it for free? YOU SLUT"

[PwnerGeist]

@saiyanmage "But I-" boss shoved her fingers in my mouth and squeezed my tongue"NOT-A-NOTHER-WORD"She loosened her grip and started rubbing my tongue inbetween her thumb and index finger"You tease!Always wearing that outfit, the way you nervously glide your fingers over my back when you apply the oil for the massage and the way you straddle me.How come she gets the happy end?is this an attempt to tease me again?Have you been mocking me?"

[PwnerGeist]

@saiyanmage She noticed me salivating a lot now due to my mouth being open for a long time."How fitting you're drooling just like a mutt just like a little puppy.That's all you men are just a bunch of filthy dogs."The next day she had a new pet name for me "Slut puppy could you go in the back and get XYZ"Time stopped I felt every ones eyes on me they chuckled I felt ashamed.One person started making barking sounds the whole crowd exploded in laughter I ran away that day for good.

[PwnerGeist]

@saiyanmage That day my deconversion started I ran away to train in the mountains to become an assassin and 8 months after I became one I saw the Psychotherapy series on Phliness Favorites list I became addicted and when some episodes started running late I flung occasional threats(from a celestial being and not murderous impulses) towards bob and with the recent turn of events (Hitchens Death) I was contracted by him to Kill Kimjong if his cancer took a turn for the worse.

[PwnerGeist]

@saiyanmage In a heat of the moment decision I struck a deal with Bob Traffic Cops in exchange for living in his closet.Now here I am living in his closet.My days now are filled with avoiding the traffic cops and helping bob move various props for the set.My voice isn't good enough for Voice acting yet so I can't help Bob there but setting up the stage, shopping , cooking , helping with the dialogue is what's keeping me busy now.

[PwnerGeist]

@saiyanmage In the end I know what I am(a whore) but that's only a part of me there are many other things that make me who I am.Dr.Patmos helped me find this out and will continue to help me with the use of the Sensory Deprivation Tank.The guy loves using that and it was a bitch to move off the set also another reason why the episode was delayed for a few days.

[Friendough]

I am not a big fan of pants, myself.

[bobsmeerfak]

@Friendough American pants, or British pants?

[Friendough]

@bobsmeerfak

All pants, categorically. The Japanese, by the way, call British pants "Pantsu." I am against those, as well. Trousers are fine, though.

[bobsmeerfak]

@Friendough So many words to describe lower body coverings. Let's all just wear only chaps, like David Lee Roth during a Van Halen Concert, and be done with it.

[Friendough]

@bobsmeerfak

Thank you for saying what needed to be said.

[bobsmeerfak]

@Friendough HA!

[rriverstone1]

you're not funny, or anything....

[bobsmeerfak]

@rriverstone1 I try to avoid humor at all costs.

[rriverstone1]

@bobsmeerfak obviously

[BlackSabbath86]

Was the use of Man in the Box at the end a nod to Pwnergeist and his penchant for small spaces, such as your closet?

[bobsmeerfak]

@BlackSabbath86 Right on man. And yet it was also a nod to everyone stuck between those eight corners that make up the System... Damn, that was poetic. I've got to stop that.

[NoFaithNoPain]

Somehow its been difficult to make movies over the holidays for everyone. However I had more time on my hands so I wanted to watch more. I suppose its like Acne. It makes you horny and unattractive at the same time :/ I just woke up after a night on the town. I think thats why my brain is not working properly and I am posting this crap. Look forward to the next episode.

[bobsmeerfak]

@NoFaithNoPain Go out for more nights on the town, my good man. I want more crap like this posted! Whatever you have to drink to make non-linear connections between acne/horny-ness and video output, drink more of it!

[NoFaithNoPain]

@bobsmeerfak Third night in a row tonight. Unfortunaely it makes me head-achey and crotchety. then I start getting abusive to theists and then the inbox gets filled up with upset people. A downward cycle of despair LOL. Won't stop me going out though.

[bobsmeerfak]

@NoFaithNoPain A downward cycle of despair should never be the reason one stops going to the pub, only the reason one starts. Amen.

[TheLivingDinosaur]

Farking hell. Laptop, huge monitor, fancy mike. With a sweet set-up like that, why can't you make decent videos? I know I would! ;-)

As for tea, try some Earl Grey. Takes a little getting used too, but once you get a taste for it. it's the dog's bollocks.

[bobsmeerfak]

@TheLivingDinosaur It's all smoke and mirrors. Actually, the fancy mike stand and pop filter are blocking the view of a very CHEAP mike that came with an old desktop system. I have a much better mike but I can't get it to interface with my system (long story). Earl Grey - as long as it doesn't actually taste like dog's bollocks, I'll try it! As for you, if you're saying you don't have a sweet set-up, you must be doing yours on someone else's system - I'd like to have your set-up you jerk! :)

[saiyanmage]

@bobsmeerfak

Learn to build your own comp and find where you can get parts for cheapest and you can build a 1000+$ comp for about half its price.

;)

[bobsmeerfak]

@saiyanmage Hmm. And I definitely need to learn how to make more out of my equipment. A little more self-motivation would probably be helpful.

[PwnerGeist]

@saiyanmage Bob was able to set up a meeting with God and I asked why he allowed this to happen and God said "You're talking to a guy that sat back and watched his son Die I'm not the best in the customer service department why do you think I made 2 copies of me" "That doesn't make any sense" I said in confusion.The holy spirit jumped in "The Guys a poor planner.Look you can't rely on a hero to appear and save you you know that better than anyone else that's why you left that town right?"

[PwnerGeist]

@saiyanmage "You've come this far with your own two feet.Continue to live that way." Then they were gone and now here I amMeeting God was not as big of a deal as people made it out to be he's pretty normal when asked why was he such a dick he responded "I don't do cruel things because I like to I do them I did it to teach you humans a lesson.....that I'm better than you" then he said "those days are over now I'm much more laid back"

[PwnerGeist]

@saiyanmage Living with Bob has been life changing and it's barely been 3 weeks.

[HarrysSecret]

"I'm not wearing any pants"

Quit trying to score and get on with the task in hand.

[bobsmeerfak]

@HarrysSecret Did you get my PM? Now I looked in my Sent folder and I don't see it - don't tell me you didn't get it - should I flog myself about the face with a frying pan? I'm so disappointed w/YouTube.

[HarrysSecret]

@bobsmeerfak Nothing has arrived from you since 3rd Dec 2012.

I have wept and wailed all through xmas.

Now I know why, the "traffic cops"!

*sobs*

[bobsmeerfak]

@HarrysSecret DAMN it. That took me minutes to write. I'll resend and stand menacingly over my computer with a hammer to make sure it goes through this time.

[bobsmeerfak]

@bobsmeerfak Just resent you my PM - let me know if you don't get it, in which case I'll storm the offices of YouTube/Google.

[saiyanmage]

@bobsmeerfak FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU---

[lilimax555]

Mistake ..hmmm ..likely story

[bobsmeerfak]

@lilimax555 Okay. It's a deliberate mistake.

[lilimax555]

You're not wearing pants ......again !

[bobsmeerfak]

@lilimax555 It's a mistake I'm doomed to repeat over and over. Damn it!

[xdassinx]

We never saw the right hand till the North Korean traffic cops video was over.... lulz

[bobsmeerfak]

@xdassinx It was on my mouse. Hey, wait...

[DaithiDublin]

Oh, the antici...

(there's no need to finish that gag, you've already done it in your head, haven't you?)

[bobsmeerfak]

@DaithiDublin Say it! SAY IT! Where's Tim Curry when you need him? :)

[practicalmagic9]

@bobsmeerfak tim curry is in a sparkly black room with "tangerine dream" playing and brownies in his dungeon, man!or....in his closet wearing dominatrix wear and fangs in transylvania?

[bobsmeerfak]

@practicalmagic9 Damn... Heaven and Hell are real after all... But which is which? Some things never change.

[practicalmagic9]

@bobsmeerfak at least in tim curry's world, it's sparkly, sexy, and tom cruise exists in gold lame plate armor!sign me up, DAMN IT, JANET!

[bobsmeerfak]

@practicalmagic9 Everything but the Sword of Damocles!

[DaithiDublin]

@bobsmeerfak  ...pation!

[unassumption]

As a brit I chose to believe your not wearing pants by either definition ;)

[bobsmeerfak]

@unassumption You are a true cosmopolitan...:)

[scatustherising]

@bobsmeerfak hey what's the song that plays at the end ,it sounded good. thanks in advance

[bobsmeerfak]

@scatustherising "Man In The Box" - by Alice In Chains - the kick-ass-est of kick-ass 90s music.

[HaploidCell]

So you're telling me Pwnergeist is going to COME OUT OF THE CLOSET?

[PwnerGeist]

@HaploidCell I only get to come out 7 times a day 3 for bathroom breaks 3 for food and 1 for the daily walk the mistresses take me on some days I feel trapped.....trapped in the closet.

[bobsmeerfak]

@HaploidCell I was hoping not. But now I remember I left that wood axe in there. I'm expecting a Nicholson-here's-Johnny moment at any second.

[wounduppenguin]

I'm British. That pop up comment about pants cracked me up so much I can't tell you! HAHA!

[bobsmeerfak]

@wounduppenguin I didn't think about it until I was editing. I'm speaking to a global audience...

[PwnerGeist]

@bobsmeerfak Also you're going through the Evid3nc3 series that&Hitchens Got me started on my trip to non belief, North Korea and your closet.Good series.

[bobsmeerfak]

@PwnerGeist Yeah! I watched them all over six months ago, but I'd forgotten how great they are. That guy knows how to throw it down.

[8WholeThing]

Get some kim chee. Don't ask why, just do it. You'll need it.

[bobsmeerfak]

@8WholeThing I went out with a girl who since has opened a mail order kim chee business. I missed my window on free kim chee. Guess I'll have to pay for it now.

[MagorianAx]

Awesome. Just awesome.

[bobsmeerfak]

@MagorianAx See you then, dude!

[R0ckGuitarN0w]

Windows Live Movie Maker ? Wow thats like the guy who reproduced the Mona Lisa in paint.

[bobsmeerfak]

@R0ckGuitarN0w Sony Vegas Platinum. WMM is an insidious retrovirus and it must be destroyed!

[XheraPhine]

What GiraffesEatWindmills said!

[bobsmeerfak]

@XheraPhine He always says that. I look for it now as scientific verification that my video posted properly.

[GiraffesEatWindmills]

YAY!

[bobsmeerfak]

@GiraffesEatWindmills You always say that! Now it's law - you have to say that every time! Hey, I just pressed the Mommy Daddy Button. What's supposed to happen now?

[PwnerGeist]

@bobsmeerfak *falls out of closet*Traffic......cops.....H­urting me......MISTRESS I MEAN MISTRESS traffic cops hurting me sorry we'll keep it do-*foaming at the mouth*

[bobsmeerfak]

@PwnerGeist Hey, that door is supposed to be locked. And there's not supposed to be anyone in there with you!

[PwnerGeist]

@bobsmeerfak They heard about what I did last summer they also heard what you said about my assassination of their leader the Mistresses are pissed also they just enjoy being cruel and sadistic.The plane ride back was like this.....

[bobsmeerfak]

@PwnerGeist They just told me what you did last summer. Frankly, I'm disgusted. You deserve everything that's happening to you.

[PwnerGeist]

@bobsmeerfak I DIDN'T KNOW WEARING DUSTERS MADE ME LOOK SLUTTY FORGIVE ME!

[saiyanmage]

@PwnerGeist ..whore.

[bobsmeerfak]

@saiyanmage He acts all innocent but doesn't mention the fact that a duster is the only thing he was wearing.

[GiraffesEatWindmills]

@bobsmeerfak haha alright! :D

well, you're supposed to buy me a smoothie or else you'll turn into a scarecrow