Single-Celled Organism

[Nagneto]

Champion

[amaricanbadass]

wow and i thought i was ashamed for the size of my shit thanks for the ego bost!!! ps find a woman that can not tell the diffrence between 2 inches and 8!

[Sh0nin]

I really wanted to do this monologue for my drama class, but my teacher wouldn't let me. :(

[jonnyboy19]

lol

[unkuehl]

Prison with high-speed internet and YouTube access ain't so bad.

[StephenNickle]

Funny.

[technologysucks]

It won't take up to much space in tight underwear when you get a boner, nor will it attract attention at a wrong time.

[AstraVex]

Here's some extra reasons:-

1. You are marginally less likely to get it caught in a wood chipper. (It can happen!)

2. You have the perfect excuse to buy a Ferrari, a Rolex Watch, or a cigarette boat.

3. Your wife will think your cock is just an abnormally large clit, which would make her consider turning into a hot lesbian or, at the very least, Bisexual.

4.You can write a best-selling memoir about your penis and make up with celebrity what you lack in length and girth!

[URNemesis108]

I love the vids you do in black and white, Very minimalist! 5/5 favorited, and added to the play list.

[jampitts]

Just another low life degenerate.

[danthezimman]

dude you are my new hero....legend

[ogirv101]

LOL, is the philosophical definition of what you just said...

[DaZeuhlUndazir]

lmao

[spinka100]

"my penis envy is bigger than yours" haha good one!

[AliKat56]

You made my crappy 4th of July feel a whole lot better. Thanks. =]

[chelios58]

Holy shit i am sitting here on a dark depressing night at 1 am trying to do college work. This has cheered me up thank you so much Az! you legend!

[TheTheifInYourHead]

lmao

your face at 1:09-1:10

[henrahmagix]

I love the entirety of your face, entirely, at 1:05 to 1:08 "Gah! No, I've got to say positive things."

For studying animation at university, that little snippet is wonderful reference! The main thing I like about it is: - The way your eyebrows come out of contraction at 'gah!' into being fully raised, then head back into contraction before raising a tiny bit to drop, forcefully, into a stern mid-position for the rest of the sentence, which indicates its seriousness.

I LOVE THIS!

[gen6k]

guys only need 4 inches to be able to make bitches cum

[henrahmagix]

Sure, but dogs are smaller than humans.

[TheShortStory]

hilarious!!!!!!!!!!

[rollspach]

y does no one get this...

i love "come on, you would too." lmao

[LanceDirk]

That was great.

Made me feel better about myself.

Oh wait.... :(

No, positive things, positive things.

[livemorbidia]

Holy shit that was hilarious!

[AnssiArpiainen]

the name of this video distubs me very grately

[michiel1551]

my penis envy is bigger then yours.

nice one:)but is that a positif thing?

[KoRnYwAyZ]

Great why to pick up chicks on youtube.

[exDeathex]

rofl

[MelodyElize]

Omg. Az. HA!

[jish55]

roflmfao.... this made me laugh so hard.... you are intelligent with a great sense of humor.... bravo.

[spinmedown169]

gotta end with a BANG...

anyone else get it, or is it just me...

[cruxvader]

yes

[YaMamStudios]

i dont sorry im not clever

[Bizzer10]

fuck i dont get it !

tell meeee!!!

[ihavemonkeysinmybutt]

hahaha the thing with the dick in her bellybutton was funny heh

[GnosticDjinn]

Howard Stern.

Awesome comment.

[blahblahblahEMILY]

i lol'ed at "c'maaaan, you would too."

[meepmon]

So, I have less ugly. :) Great vid, keep it up.

[philos4r]

well done

[YaMamStudios]

was that a piss take? if not awsome :0 hehe "MY PENIS ENVY IS BIGGER THAN YOURS!"

[Treeforest777]

(sob, cry) I have found a true blood-brother. Let's start the small penis support group.

I mean, I don't have a micropenis, but I am damn near close. I admire your bravery in coming forward with your condition. Thank you (gulp) so much! Okay I really have 11 inches.

Wait..or is that centimeters?

LOL

[xSpringfieldx]

your very brave for making that vid

[Samanmotlagh]

hahaha, funny man

[masterwrench]

#7 At least you wont kill anyone with it !

[MentallyIncapable]

LOLTwguys one horse

EW sorry you just said that and then I thought of that GROSS

But yeah OMG This vid is SOOO Frickin hilarious

[amnesiameds]

you make me laugh.

[Hippiefied1]

you have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have definitely my friend been found "wanting" lol :) (sorry love that quote from a knights tale) and it seemed to fit here :)

Peace,

Lisa~

[ScientificDiscussion]

Consider yourself judged my friend!!!

And my envy is bigger than yours!

[NotTakenUntilNow]

I can't top what's already been said. I think I may have laughed loud enough to wake up the house. I thank you for that... but they mightn't!

[pangeaforever]

6: TECHNIQUE IS MORE YOUR FORTE BECAUSE OF IT!!! (Use that one!)

[pwnz1lla69]

I'm so jealous of your penis envy. :)

[39editions]

You are either an intellectual, or completely full of bullshit.

Either way, you make me laugh.

[whymikeisok]

Awesomeness.

And by the way...a small penis gives you a lesser chance of dick snapping (true fact).

[thelittlestmonkey77]

lol "...which is a good thing I suppose I rarely get off at all" thats awesome

[adivawoman]

Small dick or not I love you. Your stories are great. You are better then anything on tv.

Thanks for all the laughs.

[zainmehdee]

Dude...Im just gonna list the words and phrases that come to mind from watching your vids:

Smart

Funny

To the point, but twisted

Weird but correct

-

Keep it up man

You got your own thing goin...

[o08140o]

uhh to what 'point'?

[zainmehdee]

Not speaking of any one "point" particularly, more of a generalization. Anyway, awesome awesome stuff...

btw I reside in South China, and showing my friends these videos has been fun and exciting, nothing but positive feedback...

"Too little there for the skin to be the "fore" of"

haha, so funny

[JayxJigsaw]

LOL! Your amazing (:

[Rhinox04]

omg... that was amazing

[OMFGitsLULU]

ahahahahahhahahaha!

freaking hilarious

[yamimura]

that was great! i like this one

[smukerj]

i think its more your face and voice (and that nose-thing) that keeps me watching your videos so intently. lol. even though you're quite amusing.

[The1337Juice]

AHAHAHA! that was funny

[Abunchanada]

LFMAO

[xLosTxCauSe]

lmao

[qeinar]

my penis envy is much bigger than yours! xD

[Rita9965]

yourr eally entertaining

[cube11235]

That was hilarious!

[ddalkki]

rofl.

[dieannadior618]

omfg lmao i love this guy <3

[proudimnot]

small ****s arnt that bad. Its easier to walk around with that fo sur... but if ppl dont like it they can just get it unnaturally grown bigger! with somethin i saw on a commercial..the buyers Were satisfied!

[inexistenttruth]

Well, I hope the six people you killed had, in comparison, proportionately larger dicks than you... otherwise--that's just rude.

[rocketmen1]

wow totally hilarious the "envy" thing was awsome

[davfirenze]

well dear, I prefer céline dions gestures than yours...they seems to me ...exagerated

[KingHeathen]

"my penis envy is bigger than yours" - that was my favorite.

[Jaemann]

I think this is my favourite.

[metalangel01]

LMAO..You are so freakin' hilarious

[suicidekitten778]

I can't stop watching you, keep up the good work!

[TamaHAHA]

"my wife doesnt care if we do anal because she doesnt know wherre im sticking it"

rofl!!

[jonesbeckjessxd]

xD I love this guy!!!

[dicklong95]

Me too

[oreli0]

lmao, i love your videos

[TheTACT]

haha you took the atmosphere of old apple commercials to a whole new level

[superfrajercina98]

He has a small dick, so that makes his dick less ugly.

lol

[SUNprincess29]

man you are amazing! lol

[Demolyte]

once again... everything is going to be OK!

XD well done m8

[DarkFuschia]

Bwahhaaahhaaa that was so funny for a two minute penis joke. I guess they just never get old. ("my penis envy is bigger than yours!" heheehooohoo)

[tjf311]

I wish I had a smaller dick because it's too long for the depth of my model girlfriend's vagina. I have to be really careful not to hurt her during sex, it takes some of the pleasure out of it and makes it much more taxing. It also only can get half-way in so only half of it is pleasured.

[ntwiles]

Pedophilia is wrong tjf311.

[xSpringfieldx]

and I thought I was the only one!

[pimpjoosse]

I swear to frickin chicken u would have to be Doctor House ten years ago.

[darlaqil]

ha ha this dude is funny!!

[Sirsin888]

haha

i find that hard to believe

[sweetkiwi74]

dude, no.

[DeathBringer9216]

...aaand that's when I snapped and killed six people. HAH...hilarious!!!

[Knapweed]

lol, awesome!

[Jewwlicious]

Do you know how much sleep I've missed since I discovered you on You Tube? Yeesh... Stop being so creative and witty, already. I need my freakin' rest.

[azrienoch]

I'm sorry!

But I really appreciate you watching.

[bboydee]

@Jewwlicious SAME HERE! DAMN! I think I am addicted!

[falconelly]

Is the little green thing a taughtology? Maybe the end of your philosophical status is closer than you think :))

[LukaIsntLuka]

lol

[nrgins]

reminds me of that line from the bo burnham song here on YT, that his girlfriend says she can only give him a "finger job" because it's so small. :-)

[novanine]

Though I've been watching your vids for a while I think this is the first time I've commented (sorry, I'll make it up somehow)

Thanks for making me feel glad to have an average size pee pee.

[kimberly0134]

lmaaaaooo!!~

[Proshka]

ur so funny and cool, love your work man, thanks for posting as a vid response, im totally subbing to you now!!

U really are great - loved the editing and whole video concept!!

keep this up sweets

[mongojazz]

bravo!

[GuyaRicanMC]

LMAO! You caught me off guard with the title of this video. Thank you for opening up to us about such a personal issue. You went from discussing Solipsism and Absurdism in videos to making dick jokes. Good job! lol

[dehbee]

LOL wut?

[aussieathart]

I opened this vid expecting an in-depth discussion on abiogenesis and/or evolution, and instead I get a brief monologue about your wee wee-wee.

All the better though, cuz I laughed my ass off during this superbly tongue-in-cheek vlog. Worry not dear Az, your extra-large intellect more than makes up for your allegedly small member~ lol ;)

oh and I read something about you going to KC; you wouldn't be leaving the TC, now would you? ...

[WhereTheRoadEnds22]

Haha!

My favorite is still the "I have less ugly" bit.

Great job, yet again.

- Brionna

[rayray2012]

hehe....love the belly button joke!

[jojomojo99]

Im kind of a short girl...and I always figured if I had been born a boy, i would probably have been short...and have a little weiner.

So in a way...I feel your pain

And I was going to leave a comment on the more graphic parts of that video, but I fear that it will come back to haunt me.

Hey, there's something to be proud of...you have bigger balls than a lot of people

**(Silver lining?)**

[ewrules]

I don't think they let you have video cameras and computers in prison, especially if you killed a bunch of people. Something smells fishy here.

[joelflux]

Why don't you get penis enhancement surgery?

You can pay for it with all the money you've made from your youtube videos lol.

Much love Azrienoch.

[azrienoch]

I don't even get enough money from that to have a friend chop the remaining bits off.

[Adrian101882]

Maybe take another approach and follow this vid up with a formal review of Extenze? It's got Ron Jeremy's blessin', ya know??

[MetaphysicsAddict]

lol very funny. I like you

[shirleycoffie]

stop it!! at least you still have your forskin! Have you ever seen that surgery? From my own experience forskin gives better orgasms because of its contact w/the g-spot.

Do a search on circumcision and tell my how much happier you are with our forskin!!!

PEACE LOVE HARMONY

PS: And you get to do anal when most guys can't because they are TOO BIG!! ;)

[ohsoandi]

lol. that's funny for real.

[palmtreez101]

my penis envy is bigger than yours  ROFL

[virvalens]

Why are you wearing that ugly chaplet?!

***

:)

[Sadochrist]

this was totally disgusting. what the hell was this for? to prove to people your comfortable with your sexuality or some thing, it's not the type of thing one who feels comfortable is required to do. what ever the reason congratulations for leaving your usual pseudointellectual videos and emerging totally abhorrent, or is this your true nature?

[azrienoch]

This video was made so that random people I don't really care about may find something new to complain about. Wouldn't want you to run out.

[KosmicQi]

ha ha ha ha ha ! somebody hates you.

but i love you, i really do.

[Sadochrist]

Fair enough.

[wabio]

Holy shit. I'm dying!!!!

[captainfury2007]

I almost shot Newcastle out my nose.

[sillysillytom]

LOL

[qualiator]

the geniusness keeps flowing.. wait is flowing a verb i should use in this video's comment box?

[thewildeman2]

Ya had me reeling, that's funny as hell.

[urphobik]

so what if he has a small dick, he's still hot and i would do him. lol

[Centerfold]

Hahahhahaha. But I do doubt that arzie has a small unit. Just doesn't add up facially. Call me crazy.

[MacedonianLove]

I laughed out loud the whole time.

[williamcardno]

you're amazing!  that was the best ending you could have possibly done.

[startngo]

Hilarious! ...in a short, stubby kind of way...

[JeeprzCreepers56]

ha ha ha

[opinionhead444]

It has become a trend in the last several years for comedians to complain about their dick size. In Howard Stern's movie "Private Parts", he admits to being hung like a three-year old. There are other nuggets around if you can find them.

And as for looking down, I don't know if I should cry or laugh?

[MischievousChihuahua]

And Jeffrey Ross admitted that he's hung like a tic tac.

[purpledohboy]

someone said to me if we take away one testicle from a newborn baby they'll have less testosterone and therefore won't be as violent and therefore less wars would come about. is this true or farce? would it just make dicks smaller?

[Phayish]

i don't think dicks grow off testicle nutrient. so removing one wouldn't really affect the dick, it sure would make for some interesting sex though.

[Katalyzt]

Hahahahahahahaha! That was a little premature! ;O)

Katalyzt

[tadshackles]

LOL @ Genetic dead end!

"My penis envy is bigger than yours!" I LOLed

Great video buddy.

[Rowdyeh]

Does a very small dick create a genetic dead end? Would it make it impossible for you to conceive any progeny? Lol!

[MischievousChihuahua]

Good video, but I don't believe it's small...Prove it. lol

[JustStuff]

"It's not how long you make it, it's how you make it long"

George Carlin .. :P

[ToriSterling]

With a smaller dick, it must mean most of your brains are actually in your head..so that makes you smarter then the average male....just pointing out the truth :)

[MischievousChihuahua]

Penises really ARE ugly! lol....Uh, except for mine...

[FanfareForFreaks]

You knw you less likely to get raped in jail i mean one look at tht mosquito bite in between your legs and theres less likely a attraction

Lov ya vids.

Great Job 17star Job

[MassZombicide]

Actually, strange thing, ironically it's the bigger penises that are often the ones that are actually less ugly, and I'm not even into penises so I shouldn't know that but I'm just saying if I have to choose between looking at a small penis and a large penis; I'm going to choose the large one but not like one of the usual large ones where they're all floppy or whatever but rather an circumcised, warm and steadfast cock, because that's the kind I'd prefer to have up my ass -if I were gay i.e.....

[nerdfighter4]

You are funnier than Jimmy Fallon too.

[Kierketaard]

I had a tranny girlfriend when I was 23 who was just stunningly beautiful. It was difficult to imagine that a gay male would have been interested in her.

Then again there are some butt ugly trannies out there ...

[Adrian101882]

You're really kicking this 'new' direction of your videos into 5th gear..

Very good stuff!

[another1shortdaymore]

hahaha

"my penis envy is bigger than yours"

"less ugly"

inspired video, Az.

[spawnfan101]

ROFL

[missdivinestalls]

Oh all sad. *hugs*

[another1shortdaymore]

it's only sad if you value urself based on normative masculinity.

[LesbianLG]

So HE showed me?

I know you're trying to be funny but as a MTF trans person I still find that offensive.

Other then that good video. :)

[azrienoch]

Damn it! I totally have it written as she, too. Sorry about that.

[marshallbs]

Therefore if you have a small penis you can be happy to know that you have some other talent that scores high enough to make up for the loss of "penis points". Either that or one of god's employees working quality control fucked up (oops... sorry... have to stay positive).

[sparrow111260]

it'd really funny if it was really funny

[marshallbs]

You see, god has a special "stats" card that he uses to tally up the points for each man he creates; 5 points per inch of penis, 2 points for each IQ point, etc.  The overall score must come out to a fixed value to assure that everyone has indeed been created equal.

[marshallbs]

No, I would advise you to find religion. This will cure both your penis envy and earn you a reduced sentence. Kill two birds with one stone, or one powerful cum-shot (oops sorry). Remember what Thomas Jefferson wrote? "All men are created equal".

[squitmaa]

They don't call me Stubbie for nothing.

[tickanie]

as long as you know how to work it it doesn't matter!

[maksiiiskam2]

Small dick pride!

[healthyaddict]

Haha! I love you Az! :)

[pixelatedxdeath]

GREAT!! "My penis envy is bigger than yours!" I died! So, the extra pocket is for stuffing aye? *inside joke* hahaha

[TOMMYfromtheBRONX]

AWESOME !!! LOL

[silverwing2332]

I love your sense of humor, great story, these videos always make me laugh, then think, then laugh again, then rewatch, then laugh again for a different reason.

[TheGrammarian]

I fuckin' love you , Az. Despite your small dick.

[MeekServant]

Well this will put an end to the romance with

Spricket24, but replacing Howard Stern that is good compensation.

[azrienoch]

Actually, I don't think so. But she's weird.

[dl737]

Hmm - reasons why small dick is good - going for an insanity defense I see.