Added: 3 months ago
From: timhawkinscomedy
Views: 542,000
Sort by time | Sort by thread (beta)

Link to this comment:

Share to:

All Comments (283)

Sign In or Sign Up now to post a comment!
  • VERY funny!!

    

  • oh i love....

  • Comment removed

  • Absolutely stunningly funny!!!!!!!!!!! I would urge we run!!!!

  • How long did it take him to memorize this... lol

    HILARIOUS!!! :)) "It's American made."

  • After I watched this I dreamed Shakespeare. AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

  • i like how i forgot this was the 3 little pigs

  • My English teacher showed us that. BWAHAHA! This made me knot my knickers!~ xD

  • @SuperFandubs ms carlo?

  • @TheSeventhSnivy Uhhh no lol I don't think I go to the same school...but I always seem to think that when people post these kinds of comments xD

  • @SuperFandubs oh my bad but ya i too saw this in school. lol

  • Wow, that's cultured.

  • @candygirl not really I did too :D

  • This was beautiful :D

  • HOLY CRAP MAN how long did that take?

  • @BrennypooDude Shot in the dark? Eight minutes and twenty-three seconds.

  • This is the best!, It's American made!!

  • Exhale of strong proportions!! Love it!!

  • my lifes goal is to be able to speak like this without thinking about it. :D

  • Does anyone know what church this was at?

  • Genius man.

    genius.

    Man.

  • I am a 60 year old Mom who home schooled all three of my kids; and they all read Shakespear.  All I can say to you, kind sir, is that You Nailed It!!!! Great Job!!!

  • Very cleaver and refreshing. Nicely done and quite filled with ubiquitous gaiety and devoid of somber repast. (hee hee)

  • I can imagine him practicing this in his bathroom mirror for months.

  • I have seen and heard several tellings of the story. This is one of my favorites.

  • The wolf isn't a canine devourer, it's a lupine devourer. LAME.

  • @greekperson0305 Wolves are canines. So the lame one would be you.

  • @hannibalninja Ohhh snap, you're right. This is why I'm not a zoologist.

  • It's funny but the third pig just ruined it. He should have stuck to the format he was using prior to that.

  • That should be how The Three Little Pigs is written. (Also, Shakespeare hard? Since when? Have you read Beowulf and Canterbury Tales? If not, you should because they're awesome. Also, the Epic of Gilgamesh.)

  • Insulting, though strangely patriotic.

  • .......... I was lost

  • @Wondertwist If you're not a fan of Shakespearn era literature, it's no wonder. To mine ears twas a symphony.

  • I would like to know something, those of you using the words "dude", "Frickin'", etc... Did you understand a word he said or did you have to refer to your fairy tale book from when you were seven years old to get a translation?

  • @patlb1 I understood all of it and use the word dude all the time, just because you have an extensive vocabulary doesn't mean you need to use it, why fire off all the missles when theres no war?

  • BAHAHAAHA!!!!!!!!

    I wish I had seen this when I was in Romeo & Juliet last year!

  • FreaKIN aWESOME dUDE!

    No wonder.

  • Great work, John

  • It's American made! :P

  • Damn but that's funny!

  • D'awwwww... Brilliant! My whole family loves this video now, and every time I watch it, I just laugh so much! Adorable. ^.^

  • I'm not counting ten syllables to a line here - something wrong.

  • this is BRILLIANT and a HOOT

  • What a refeshing intellectually stimulating, prolifiricating and enjoyable performance! Give me more.....

  • 23 people got eaten by yonder Carnivore >u<

  • @fishheads27 no no no.

    Alas, upon finding fault with one's performance of a hearty nature, a three and a score of spectators not the time to bemoan nor pledge vengeance upon their destiny, those disgruntled with the presentation were consumed by ye lupus carnivore.

  • As a Warthog lover and a Shakespeare lover (and a Shakespeare teacher back when the dinosaurs still roamed the earth) myself, this is the funniest rendition of the Fairy Tale I have ever heard. How Branyan memorized this is beyond me.

  • XD Hilarious!!! Congrats on 1 million channel views Tim Hawkins!!! ROCK ON!!!!

  • "WELL, THIS KNOTS MY KNICKERS!" Bahahahahaha XD

  • 'At "ere's Uncle Willy!

  • Is it wierd that I understood every thing he said? O_O

  • @Candygrl980 lol, no it isn't..... i did too XD (how old are you?? i am 13)

  • @Rebekkayoung I'm 13 too!!! OMGosh !

  • Transcript, pl0x?

  • Oh  my Alex this is the funniest thing I have ever heard lmfao

  • I got lost.

  • it's meant to be funny. Lighten up people

  • When I have kids, this shall be how I read The Three Little Pigs to them!

  • whoever dislikes this is an idiot this is awesome

  • Ignorant people in the 1700s didn't possess The Great Shake's vocabulary either. 

  • Soooo hilarious! Though it's not true that the average person today knows only 3,000 words. In fact, the average young student learns 3000 new words each year alone. You'd be surprised how many words you actually know.

  • @corinnaerin Well, that's the difference with a working vocabulary: they are the ones you use.

  • @corinnaerin I don't think the claim is that how many words we know, it's how many words we actively use. We know many words that we don't really use at all. We have several words for some things, and we might know them all, but we only use one word.

  • Its easy to have a big working vocabulary when you make half your words up like *cough* Shakespeare

  • Grammar back then was heavily Latin syntax based

  • This is hilarious! I would love to have a whole book of stories written in this style--love it.

  • It's American made. Well done.

  • @scifimaven , Would that it were so. Betimes that appellation might have suggested to the world wise the craft of craftsmen unsurpassed. But, woe indeed, in these times it signifies trash.

  • @spartacustjones ....So true, yet times they they are a-changing, hopefully for the better.

  • To all the people saying a) this is not like Shakespeare (no iambic pentameter, etc) or b) this is not actually Old English, remember this: he does not actually claim to be doing the story as Shakespeare or in Old English (although some commenters are attributing those claims to him)--he just says he is imagining what it would be like to tell a fairy tale to kids if he was born in the 1700s, when (he imagines) kids might have had a more extensive vocabulary.

  • excellent!

    

  • This is how all fairytales should be told from here on out :)

  • ahahahahaha omigosh i have never laughed so much!!!!!

  • America used to speak Shakespearian, but then we took an Arrow to the Knee.

  • and piglet residing in the american colonies replied, say what? hahahahahhahahahahahahhahahaha­hhahahahhaa

  • We watched this in English class today!!

  • @ellogovnut Our English class watched it on either Monday or Tuesday.

  • it would've been even more epic if this were all in iambic pentameter haha Excellent!

  • Comment removed

  • I watched this in philosophy class tonight and I laughed soooo hard, this guy is epic

  • "its american made"....that had me laughing too hard :)

  • "The third pig hailed from the American Colonies." YES!!!!! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT!!!! (no offense to people of other countries, especially British people: British people, I love you.)

  • I would urge we RUN!!!!

  • this is amazing, may I just say. :)

  • American made! XD

  • You may be illiterate, but you've got the alliteration down to a science!

  • "Unbar this entrance and with haste, we beseech thee!" Yes...

  • It's American made.

  • Cool

  • yay, I like the grown-ups version :)

  • Say What?

    

  • Being a history and a literature nut, I love it!...However, ("well this knocks my knickers!"Shakespeare's time was the 1600s...not 1700 or 1800.

  • Very funny stand-up =] I'd like to point out though that, although the term 'Old English' is being thrown around a lot, Old English and Shakespearean English are two very different things. Old English refers to the language used by the Anglo-Saxons between the 5th and 12th centuries, not simply to a language that's older than our own =]

  • @rawrawr1029 I know right? I hate when people say Shakespeare is old English. I've read old English (Frickin' Beowulf...) and it's next to unintelligible. It's a whole other language compared to middle and modern English.

  • @filetemyoung83 : It's old English, not Old English. There's a difference. XD Yes, Old English is so damn hard to read...

  • That was amazing

  • "It's American made." Is THAT why everything breaks so easily these days? It's all made in China! That makes perfect sense now! (Well, ok, I'm sure there's other reasons too, but hey, it works."

  • I would urge WE RUN! lol

  • Yay, verily...

  • In times now passed, though not too long ago There dwell'ed, though small, three pigs of age, who, 'Titled, inspir'd to seek out thine fortune Did set about to seek such deed thusly Primary pig, having travelled afar, Did spake, and said, "harken and heed this realm Impetuous, it hath tarried me afar From my home and hearth. Our fate,fearith I Shall not, alas, (snort) fareth well indeed" And so, agreed, but each impelled alone Swine small, set forth to build his own abode... JUST AN EXAMPLE
  • 19 people do not possess a vocabulary.

  • If it were true Shakespeare, there would have been an impressive monologue by the villain, a mouse with purely comedic purposes, someone getting drunk (comedy)/ going mad (tragedy), and lengthy comparisons to everyday objects using words that nobody understands any more.

    It's good as is, though. ;)

  • I think it would be even more impressive if he used iambic pentameter...

  • @blynninja Unless he is and I'm not catching it, haha.

  • @blynninja

    FINALLY!

    Someone caught what Ive been sayin...funny...yes! Impressive? Not so much!

    I wrote this out and rewrote it following true Shakespeare style... in IAMBIC PENTAMETER... much harder than the original script used here...and it flows way better. But hey...hes a comedian not an intellect.

    Finally kudos to someone who actually KNOWS something about Shakespeare!

  • nice. luv the accent

  • Say what?!?  LOL

  • @ThePhant0mLord Oh, was it? I guess I am showing the fact that it's been a LOOOOONG time since I studied that time period. Still, a lot can change in a hundred years too.

  • Ok, everybody who is criticizing his use of Shakespeare, note that he says he wouldn't do well in the 1700s. Shakespeare was more like the 1500s. The description is off, not the style.

  • @pointe4Jesus Atually, it was closer to the 1600s

  • @pointe4Jesus

    Sorry style is WAY off

  • And this guy "struggles" through the classics? If this is struggling in Shakespeare, then the rest of us who really love the classics are in more serious trouble.

    ROFLMAO

  • "Not by wit or whiskered jowl." Tee hee hee!

  • I'm an English teacher and I'm totally going to show this in class :D

  • "fair thee *snort* not well!!!" lol Love it!

  • First of all I would like to point out that that is NOT a real cig, and second of all he thought that was funny so he performed it, you don't have to agree but I do if you don't, don't comment its just plain annoying.

  • This man is a genius!!

  • Brilliant!!!!!!

    

  • What great fun !!!!!! Can't it just be enjoyed for what it is !!!  Great writing!

  • ahahahaXD

  • its comedy people if you knew what it was maybe you might appriciate it instead of critiquing it's political correctness...ITS HILARIOUS! Thank you John Branyon!

  • I couldn't memorise this in 1000 years!!!

  • Jeez, folks, lighten up! This is not about Shakespeare, this is about COMEDY! There are some things that simply don't translate well across the pond, I guess.

  • @littlejeff48

    good point,but 'lost in translation' flies both ways. Its not fair to really "nationalize" this, even though Branyan joked about that. Im not a brit fyi

    As said, he couldn't even tell a nursery rhyme to an Elizabethian child! His use of alliteration was a pretty good mimic and parody of Shakespeares use of poetic devices. However, the core is the structure,and knowing what that structure is,and listening with that in mind,buddy quickly sounds like a rambling butcher.

  • @littlejeff48 AMEN!

  • Translation of "It's American made" - meaning "outsourced to India"

  • @sparrow111260 hahahahaaaaa

  • Brit comments here just Prove they do Not have a sense of humor, and certainly do Not understand American humor!!

    They think Americans are dumb, but We can Laugh at Ourselves, while they stick their noses in the air, and show us their Crooked Teeth!

  • @3martijns

    I dont think Shakespearean nescience is limited to Americans. my friend who posted this on Facebook was the only one who caught (after reading my corrected example) caught why I personally yawned when I watched this. Maybe Ive studied to much Shakespeare and seen too many plays. I DID find it funny for a second. Its like he's making a parody of Schwarzenegger but accidentally using Stallone quotes. Like making Obama jokes and calling him the Prime Minister of America

  • @Saiyanshanze13 I guess I have to assume you live on planet Earth, but Where in the World??

  • This was very funny At least in concept! HOWEVER, I hate to be a kill joy, but this is a butchery of Shakespeare and not even CLOSE to what he would have written! (Shame on you Shakespeare 'students') A better example would be "pig three doth made his garish home, to whit a place stalwart, a domicile of brick to o'erthow and thwart the evil wolf Who would, assured, eat all,spare none, and then Delight in appetite sated at last" now THAT is how Shakespeare would have written it. believe DAT!
  • @Saiyanshanze13 Perhaps you "hate to be a kill joy," but you've adopted it well. What's the point of singling out 6 or 7 commenters, individually, to explain what's wrong with this video? You gave John an 'A' for funny, and that's all he was after. Why not leave it at that?

  • @Fredette87

    7 posts for 7 different POVs

    Guess being an English major and a debater has made me thorough...too much maybe.

    The F was for the "Shakespearean ear" I have...so THIS sounded very little like Shakespeare. HE shoulda left it at making fun of Old English...that would at least be accurate.

    Itd be like making a parody of rap... by singing opera in Italian.

    jus sayin

  • @Saiyanshanze13 True story: some "Old English experts" have taken offense with THAT term, as well--saying they hate to be kill joys, but Old English would be completely unintelligible to us. So, no matter what an artist does, he runs into people pointing out "technicalities," instead of asking themselves, "Do people really need to know this?" These critics, I suspect, haven't studied commenting etiquette or humor as extensively as you've studied Shakespeare...

  • Gotta love those dimples too!

  • 'Say What?'

    ROTFL!

    

  • I like this too much! LOL!

  • Storytelling rules!

  • Well-spoken English is rarely this funny.

  • Creative and Hilarious !!!

  • I have a degree in literature and I laughed so hard at this, I couldn't breathe!

  • This would be a great piece for high school drama students to use at UIL competitions...

  • As a hardcore story junky and lover of fairy tales and nursery rhymes and Shakespeare in pure form, I say this is by far the best version of the three little pigs that I have ever heard. John Branyan--you are brilliant! and your lexicon is greatly expanded and I thoroughly have enjoyed this bit!!! Thank you thank you! Hilarious.

  • ---Wow. Not only is that hilarious but that took *serious* skill to memorize.

  • "The marshaling of feral wolf to my doorstep is nowhere among those endeavors of _______ congenial!"

    What's the line there? I can't make it out.

  • @kristeemc2russia "The marshaling of feral wolf to my doorstep is nowhere among those endeavors amenable or congenial!"

  • that is a unfair comparison, shake spear made most of those words during his life and was pretty damn smart, not average person back yonder. though i'm sure he is laughing from the grave are are vocabulary.

  • @9usuck0

    not only unfair...but to those who really STUDIED Shakespeare, a poor butchery!

    Since no ones even come close to seeing why... I'll keep that answer to MYSELF!!!

    not only Willie, but ben johnson and Donne would also be rolling in their graves... laughing at this total lack of understanding Shakespeares skill...which was far more than an extensive vocab.

    Dont get me wrong- this is FUNNY!

    but to those who say they studied Shakespeare...I say "hogwash!"

    Shame on them!

  • WHAT DID YOU SAY BOUT MAH MOMMA?!

  • is there a subtitle to this? hahahaha :))))

  • picaray secondary!

  • Comment removed

  • The first two structures were both made in China.... LOL

  • upon reading 2 works of shakespear I GET THIS

  • @umbreonliker

    maybe you need to read those books again...cuz from a Shakespearean perspective...this is rank! A vestal livery than none but fools do wear... a dead dog that breeds maggots in the sun! Get thee to a nunnery...theres knocking at the gate!!!

    lol

  • @Saiyanshanze13 actually i am going to reread that exact play (hamlet)

    i love it when david tennant plays hamlet

  • "Pig 3, puffed out chest, tapped a hoof to the hearth, and responded, 'It's American made."

    WOOHOO. AMERICA!

  • Astounding! If one might have the knowledge, pray tell me, for what was the time elapsed that he did studiously contemplate the vocabulary for this lighthearted, comedic presentation? Forsooth, this gentleman indeed must have endured unmitigated hours of the daylight in study, joined even with the necessary contrivance known hereby of the name, thesaurus.

    (Yeah, I don't understand what I just said either.)

  • @LostInThought4ever I did. :P It prolly took him a while.

  • @SubwayStar7 Oh, you did? Good. :) He probably also spent hours reading Shakespeare before he did this too.

  • @LostInThought4ever

    id be disappointed if it took him more than 2 minutes...cuz from a Shakespearean pov...this BITES!

  • @LostInThought4ever Surprisingly enough, I actually understood that!!

  • @LostInThought4ever How long did it take you to type that out without any spelling errors? It would have taken me 4ever!!! :D

  • @tripleaxel16 Well, it probably took me about three or four minutes. The reason there are no spelling errors is because I typed it all up on Microsoft Word first. I also used the thesaurus on Word as well. lol Reading it again though, it sounds pretty rough. If I had spent more time on it, it definitely would've sounded better.

  • @LostInThought4ever well, I think it's pretty impressive. I could not have done that, even with a thesaurus and Microsoft Word!!

  • @tripleaxel16 It's actually not as hard as I thought. I bet you could do it! It's fun too. :)

  • @LostInThought4ever well this knocks my knickers....:)

  • @HypnoticPhantom lol That's actually one of the funniest things he said, imo.

  • Smoked ham lol