Its incredible. And theres so much to expect from you so I know it will just keep getting better... I cant believe Joe has to live with that... and what happened to his mother and where will Nick come into this and GAWH!! who's Jonah? O: this has seriously already got me hooked!!! :]
Its times like these where I stop and say, "Damnit, I wish I wrote that!" But then again, I could never write that. Especially the first paragraph, which has too many metaphors to count. You took my breath away with this, like the air escaping Joe's lungs from impact of his father's fist, like the hands of Satan in his blistering Hell. This reminded me of 8 Mile when Jimmy gets completely destroyed by the Free World. *Chills* That scene always hurts my chest. Very beautiful job!
woow this is soo coool : D
rhasxsroge 10 months ago
I think I have an idea who Jonah is =]
I loved the chapter, POor Joe! what an asshole of a dad!
~Natali
Nataliloveslove 11 months ago
Actually good : D
addiesrandom 11 months ago
Its incredible. And theres so much to expect from you so I know it will just keep getting better... I cant believe Joe has to live with that... and what happened to his mother and where will Nick come into this and GAWH!! who's Jonah? O: this has seriously already got me hooked!!! :]
themelodyinmyhead 11 months ago
This is so amazing, please post soon, this is gonna be really good, i can tell:D
Your really good at writting, do you take classes or something?
Compared to you my writting is bull:P
xo1love1hope1dreamxo 11 months ago
Wow, I am totally loving this. It's so creative and descriptive. Fucking-A <33333
Todaydawg21 11 months ago
This is an amazing first chapter! I already can't wait to read and learn more about Joe and other characters. :)
xxRandomlyHerexx 11 months ago
Its times like these where I stop and say, "Damnit, I wish I wrote that!" But then again, I could never write that. Especially the first paragraph, which has too many metaphors to count. You took my breath away with this, like the air escaping Joe's lungs from impact of his father's fist, like the hands of Satan in his blistering Hell. This reminded me of 8 Mile when Jimmy gets completely destroyed by the Free World. *Chills* That scene always hurts my chest. Very beautiful job!
ParaJonasLeafFan 11 months ago
Carlie, you my fellow writer, are truly amazing. I love this story already. Good luck with it!
themeankittyrulez 11 months ago