Murder By Death (1976) - Quotable Lines

[garymuzik]

I was about 10 when I first saw this in the theaters, they had second run theaters back then so I saw it 3 times and recorded the whole movie on cassette when it aired on TV, in like 1978 or 1979. According to wiki, it was the 15th highest grossing film of 1976, making over $32,000,000!

[112tand]

My favorite scene was when the nurse yelled. "SHOOOOESS!"

[missjacko1]

White wang LMAO

[rodcarrero]

Thumbs up if you wanted to listen the Mushroom story!!!! lol

[2legit64]

This is still one of my all-time-favorite films. I was 12 when it came out and it certainly made a big impression. I think that I became a die hard Maggie Smith fan after see this film.

[jerico641]

"Okay, we'll take turns...you search the first dead naked body we find, and I'll search the second." - Sam Diamond to Charleston LOL

[MsChazzychaz]

Too bad we never got to hear the full mushroom story...

[MrSAGARUSH]

- Sam! You have a bullet hole in your back!

- You should see the other guy.

[GarrettInShadows]

"Arguing with cow on wall like train without wheels. Very soon get nowhere."

[TheRenfieldVonKlauss]

"IDIOT! Not finish mushroom story! You IDIOT!"

[HunterMann]

This film is one of those overlooked masterpieces! When I was 17, this was showing at a theater in SF area for about 3 weeks. I gave the cinema owner $25 and said "Let me in to see this movie as much as I want." He did, and I saw it about 15 times o the big screen. 3 cheers for Neil Simon and casting that is perfecto!

[KJVWordofGod]

As a man you are barely passable, as a woman, you are a dog ! Say what you want but every time I hear that line I think of Chaz Bono.

[elijahw06]

Someone explain the ending to me :(

[SeanMcGibbon]

@elijahw06 hilarious... the ending. It's hilarious...

[alfishes]

He's blind all right. Those were my funniest faces.

[Johngalt43]

This might be the most quotable movie of all time....that or "The Princess Bride".

My personal favorite moment is when something dramatic happens and (I think) three characters exclaim in surprise, the last being Estelle Winwood (then 100) who says: "Jesus H. Christ".

[systemcarter42]

My school did a play that was pretty much based off of this movie during my senior year....best play ever.

[Boobookitty0104]

Moose! Moose you imbecile!

[2legit64]

This is one of my all-time-favorite movies. There were some of the funniest lines ever in this film. David Niven and Maggie Smith were hysterical. Dame Maggie was absolutely stunning in that white gown.

[NillumNaes]

"AH - There! Voice come from cow on wall!"

[Maryukujin]

RIP...pretty much everyone in the movie except Maggie Smith, James Cromwell and like 2 other people.

[natalieks]

This is by far my favorite comedy!

[Noodles37UK]

0:30 I KNEW that was the LA Confidential guy! This was on UK telly just there.

[DoUWanna007]

I still have this one on VHS...so funny. 

[heyrobin5]

One of my favorite movies ever!!

[LocoRico89]

I love this movie! Falk and Sellers are one of a kind!

[christopherjaycraig]

good job on this video edit.

[garymuzik]

One of my all time favorite movies/comedies!

[Jguy365]

SCHLOPPY!

[broadwaylady2744]

"hold yourself, i'm busy."

lol i used that line yesterday :)

[Ttreblerebel]

"u should not speak with an accent when you know i'm so hungry."

[clintbronson5]

TESS: Twain picked up Sam working in a gay bar!

SAM: I was working on a case...WORKING!

TESS: Every night for six months?!?

SAM: I got $ 50.00 bucks a day and expenses, I hate them Queeries.

TESS: Twain... Had Polaroid pictures of Sam in drag!

SAM: I WAS IN DISGUISE! Lots of dames go in those joints..... I never kissed nobody! And I never did nothin' to a man that I wouldn't do to a woman. And I didn't kill Twain. (looks at Tess) "BITCH!"

[Slywolf117]

i like when Wang says "House like married to fat woman, hard to get around" lol

[jazztom86]

@Slywolf117 in italian they translated like that: "big house is like a fat woman: hard to find the way!" :D

[starsandbarsforever]

hello all...

[mpw19962001]

Just as I thought: Another test that could have cost us our lives-Saved only by the fact that I am enormously well bred.

LOL

[clintbronson5]

Sam, why do you keep all those naked muscle man magazines in your office?

Suspects! Always looking for suspects. :)

R.I.P. Peter Falk :(

[EdnMike]

Left out all the Wang lines..maybe not PC these days..and the best line.. "say your god dam pronouns!" from Truman.

[KingDinoBravo]

NICE JOB, CBLANK! I've always loved this movie *and* Neil Simon's "THE CHEAP DETECTIVE"! (thumbs up)

[JimmyyoJimmy]

Buns? You have buns? Where are zey??! Where are ze buns!!! Lol..priceless :)

[snoopydooper]

RIP Sam Diamond.

[lbozzay]

RIP Peter Falk...

[Jguy365]

@lbozzay Definitely going to miss him. Thinking of "The Great Race," my mom has said "Push the button, Max!" ever since I was little.

[Dcavinee]

luv the movie

[Dcavinee]

my favorite quote was ''Snip'' and ''Have you seen a white, Wang''??!!

[DianaMB10]

"Don't ask!!!!"

[johnwhite5554]

who the fuck was murdered!



[Hulah00p]

Sometimes my gas can...

[deadlypudding]

Willie Wang: " I don't get it, Pop- was there a murder or wasn't there?"

Inspector Wang: "Yes, killed good weekend! Drive, please."

Best quote imo.

[jerico641]

"You should not speak with an accent when you KNOW I'm so hungry!"

[mrpig2u]

What would somebody want with a dead, naked body? Oh, thats tacky! ROTFLMAO

[MrValiant61]

"Cov-versation rike terravision on moneymoon, not nessa-sherry." Sorry my Chinese accent is very bad.

[121Swaleskid]

thats your opinion....big boy!

[JokerSDN]

You left out a lot of Detective Wang's lines and when the nurse swears. When she swears, I bust out laughing so darn hard.

[ambientbliss]

Amazon has it on dvd

[azeeislight]

How odd.

My fathers name, sir. Howard Bensom-mum.

How odd was your father?

Dickey!

[RingLupine]

I love this film. Does anyone know if there is a DVD release? I've hunted around everywhere. I mean, we do have the VHS but it is getting pretty old. My boyfriend also will be seeing this for the first time very soon. :3

[ss794]

@RingLupine

You can download it to your phone via Blockbuster. That's what I did.

[EnigmaComposer]

@RingLupine ya there is a dvd release, I just got it in fact :)

amazon(dot)ca/Murder-Death-Wid­escreen-Full-Screen/dp/B00005R­DRO

[corkysheba]

@RingLupine hell yeah there's one!! i just bought it from barnes and noble!! :)

[RedHeadVicky]

Say your Goddamn pronouns!!

[jimmyb227]

@RedHeadVicky - Hard to believe that Lionel Twain (Truman Capote), wrote the book "in Cold Blood"!

[mroc3911]

-I don't get it, Pop- was there a murder or wasn't there?

-Yes, killed good weekend! Drive, please.

[CathMar3]

"Why don't you push the old broad down the driveway, we've got business here!"

[CathMar3]

"WAIT! Nobody move!"

"What is it....?"

"I gotta go to the can again, I don't wanna miss anything!"

[Jackkennedy68]

The best quotes from the movie weren't even in this video. Shameful.

[zissoulander]

My favorite is when Wang walks into the empty dining room:

"Room is filled with...empty people!"

[missjacko1]

Sounded like someone snipped the wire, really what did it sound like, snip, LMAO.

[DiamondbackCobra]

...I didn't catch the "to the gas chamber, to be hung." the first time through..

[3balloonedcourier]

"Sorry nothing,give me my change"

I thought I was alone in appreciating this classic.

If in doubt Youtube it.

[Zyrtez]

@3balloonedcourier I love at the end of the movie when Falk asks, "You know how to whistle don't you?...Nevermind."  hahaha I'm happy this movie is on Netflix now so I can watch it anytime. Gonna miss Peter Falk, he was the best.

[ZenCatcher]

"It is a statement of fact, Ms. Twain, that as a man, you are merely passible. But as a woman...you are a dog!"

"That's YOUR opinion, big boy."

Lmao classic.

[ChuChu353]

GOD I love this movie :-D

"How do I look so young? Quite simple... a complete vegetable diet, 12 hours of sleep each night, and lots and LOTS of makeup"

"IT!!! IT is confusing!!! SAY YOUR GODDAMN PRONOUNS" LOL LOL LOL

[keliata]

I am literally laughing out loud, really hard. This is hysterical

[keliata]

for me the best line is after insulting his son, he finally at the end says, "shut up, adopted pussycat."

PRONOUNS!!! SAY YOUR PRONOUNS LOL. Great stuff

[rickastleyrickrolled]

Haha Loved this Film Wang:I was adpoted , one day he open his eyes and see that I chinese and kick me out of house!

[everythingnegative]

Anybody here because of the Simpsons?

[dalsenov]

I love the supposed blind butler's (Alec Guiness) line:

"Oh yes,as you can see,I can see! "

[jerico641]

What about:

Nora Charleston: "Is that the Cook's arm?"

Sam Diamond: "It ain't the pussycat's tail, lady"

Or:

Nick Charleston: "Search all over his body??"

Sam Diamond: "Okay, we'll take turns; you search the first dead naked body we find and I'll search the second."

[salamonetalton]

shes givin my palm the finger!!!!!!!!

[JSBBWV1685]

Top class film!

[omy785]

Wang: "That cat? You feed cat dogfood?"

[QueenJigglypuff4]

MY FAVORITE MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!

Best line:

WANG: "what meaning of this?".

TWAIN: "I can tell you if you tell me why one of the biggest genies in the century doesn't use pronouns! THE meaning! What is THE meaning?'.

WANG: 'That's what I said. What meaning of this?'.

[booboonation]

One of my favorite movies next to Star Wars.

[jatigre1]

Priceless!!!

[bxkxrxxxx]

26?! What the hell kind of a circus was it?!

[jeffreyscottable]

Voice come from cow on wall! Moose! Moose you idiot!

[i8badhaggis]

A good selection. Many missing but then again you can't possibly get them all as people would be better off just watching the movie again. One of my favorites though has got to be

"Did you see that."

"no"

"neither did i"

[jimmyb227]

"Where is the butler? Why has he not returned- with our dinner!" lmao-this movie is a classic!

[darkhoarse820]

They forgot Sellers' line: "This room filled with empty people...", the basis for the title of my only released album, EMPTY PEOPLE.

[marioxwarrior]

"Sorry nuttin.. Gimmie my change!" XD

[dbyrne319]

Has been one of my favorite movies since I was kid. It still holds up so well. I love, "It stupid. It most stupid theory I ever heard." So many good lines

[JanColdwater]

I Loved that... I was in disguise-in disguise-in disguise... ROFL!

[JanColdwater]

I LOVE THIS MOVIE!! I was 7 years old when I had first seen it and NEVER forgot it! Neil Simon is a GUINNESS!!

[garygreen42]

Love this film, utter genius, agree that the whole film should be included as memorable quotes!

[fran9860]

NEIL SIMON IS A GENIUS!

[cgreenartpro1]

Peter Sellers & Peter Falk made this Movie Funny as Hell, Classic, LMAO!

[avantgarde1226]

We stopped going when I was...26. HAHAHA.

[bxkxrxxxx]

You guys are all confused. The entire MOVIE should have been in this video as it is completely quotable. Every line is the best line.

[aaronjamesallen]

"Butler gone but pocket still there?"

[Watchingkindly]

"nes pas?" "no! Coco!"

[Serendeppity2009]

I love the scene when Peter Falk is talking to the butler about the "concrete Christmas present" since the gargoyle almost fell on them as they approached the door.

[Jamessir]

Awww my favorite not there...

Dick Charleston: [introducing them] My wife Dora. Inspector Perrier.

Milo Perrier: Très charmant.

[kisses her hand, then coughs]

Dora Charleston: I'm sorry. Our room is so dusty.

Milo Perrier: It's my fault. I should have blown first.

[TBR4EVA]

The best line in the whole play is "Yes killed good weekend drive please" then "You drive off before finish mushroom story You are Idiot

[rickastleyrickrolled]

I Love This Movie!!! its was on youtube but got deleted

[Barqu3ntine]

Sam Diamond!

[starpotter04]

My favorite is " I couldn't take that chance".

[nithhoozack]

my favorite lines are with sam diamond........"she changed her name"........"just like a dame." HAHA

[ZachValkyrie]

my favorite line:

"I don't get it pop, was there a murder or wasn't there?"

"Yes: killed good weekend!"

[mkam11]

Conversation like television set on honeymoon...unnecessary

[thedreamdealer]

Up yours fella!

[trycon40]

my fav. line is from wang when he is in the room w/ empty people

Wang: maybe other way out of room. secret passage way, perhaps

Voice: wrong, There are no secret passage ways mr.wang.

Wang: you spoke?

Marbles: no.

Perrier: not me.

Voice: I spoke..

Wang: ah ha, there. Voice come from cow on wall

cow on wall: MOOSE, MOOSE you IMBECILE!

[MegerHexer]

i loved this film very funny

[1fitpinupdiva]

"Where were you Wang we was worried?"

[LeoandTrina]

"Ring bell please." "Are you kidding, pop, someone's trying to kill us!" "Yes, yes! Should make for exciting weekend! :D"

"...Why do I gotta drive the car?!" "Because I smart enough to get out first. Drive please."

"I made it, pop! I made it! :D" "Good! Good! Now come back and get adopted father."

[ainiel555]

Diamond:That can only mean one thing...and I don't know what it is...

[ainiel555]

Best scene for me is...Milo Perrier: No, no, it's all right. My wine is not poisoned. It was just a bad year..

[Barqu3ntine]

Sam Diamond!

[rehetbutler]

"Room full of empty people"

[JanColdwater]

@rehetbutler AHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHAAAAA!!!! I LOVED THAT! Well, I LOVED THAT WHOLE MOVIE! I am so excited. I got the movie and can watch it whenever I want a good laugh!

[rehetbutler]

@JanColdwater It is a classic, and yet never seen on TV......

[JanColdwater]

@rehetbutler It HAD to be... my family wasn't big on buying movies back then. How else would I have seen it?

[Mgdisney15]

I also like it when Wang said "Let us go back to drawing room, while my song clean up dead body" "How come I gotta do all the dirty work pa?" "Because your mother not here to do it for you"

Ha ha ha! Also "That not steam, someone put deadly snake in room, wake me when come near bed".

[Jump5Boi]

I Hope HE Knows How To Stop That Thing

[poopface011]

aww it left out my favorite line.

"dad, im confused did he kill anyone or not?" "yes, killed good weekend"

[kary2119]

one of the best

[EarlGrey1989]

Finally, a video that sums up one of the greatest movies of all time!!!!!

[GeorgeWTush]

Can we sacrifice Nathan Lane and get Jimmy Coco back?

[reving19]

I don't care what anyone says..this movie is FUNNY!

[jimmyb227]

"He's blind allright-those were my funniest faces!" Omdfg,this movie i9s hysterical!

[Dezy010]

Cuz i was smart enough to get out of the car before you lol

[1shea13]

I LOVE this movie!!

[LazyRaise]

(Wangs stepson manages to drive over a nearly collapsing bridge after Wang left the car for safety)

Wangs stepson: 'I made it pop! I MADE IT!'

Wang: 'Good. Now come back for stepfather.'

I love all the lines in this move and I need to force myself to stop spamming...

[LazyRaise]

Wangs stepson:' Why do I always have to do the work pop?'

Wang:' Because your mother is not here to do it!'

[LazyRaise]

Bensonmum:' ah here we are.I'm sure you'll find this suitable.'

Wang's stepson:' Boy this is a cold house.'

Bensonmum:' I've taken care of that sir.You'll find a nice, cosy fire in your room.'

(opens door and the fire is burning in the middle of the bed)

Bensonmum:' It's a bit smoky sir.I'm afraid that old fireplace hasn't been used in years.'

Wang:' At least bed will be warm.'

Wang and Diamond were the best!

[Rvd420WHAT]

Room filled with empty people!

Voice come from Cow on wall

Same thing happened to my kid brother, that boy woulda been 63 on Tuesday

[wipper80]

i love this film and so do my kids , buns you had buns and you didnt tell me and i love peter falk in this hes classic he was in disguise in disguise in disguise

[endorphinz]

"Trust ya?...The last time I trusted a dame was in Paris in 1940...She said she was going out to get a bottle of wine...2 hours later the Germans marched into France! "

LOL!!

[WillPG1212]

i just found James Cromwell was the young assistant to the french guy,

man i love this movie, its such a classic (and i was born way after)

[TheGameHippo]

He's not a Frenchy; He's a Belgie!

[ZachValkyrie]

what about that "killed good weekend" line?

I can't believe you left that out; it's a classic!

[xaltotunofpython]

I think that the Jamessir Brensonmam scene is one of the funniest things I have ever seen on filw !

[djreid420]

Did you intentionally remove Peter Sellers from your cut?

[Martinalutherking]

One of my favorite lines: "Push her wheelchair down the driveway, we got work to do".

[ACEMIFR]

Why don't you ask the moose on the wall ??

He's been watching us for the last 20 minutes !!

Quality !!!

[morrisseytillidie]

superb.

[Nightmares13]

Any line from this movie is quotable

[WraithOfTwilight2]

Is stupid! Is stupidest theory I ever heard!! Ah ha!!!

[saliormars2345]

i love this movie

[sml7799]

MARVELOUS montage!! I love it!!

Oh, and I so love when Sam Diamond hollers at everyone: Shut up, all of ya's. Nobody move! I have to go to the can again. I don't wanna miss nothin.'

[SueBeaWho]

One of my all-time favorite movies!!!`

"Im not Frenchie, I'm a Belgie!" LOL

[enapelsinomdagen]

One of my favorite films... saw it a few years ago. Try'in to get it but it's impossible here in Sweden! Any ideas? ^^

[Meglio85]

Den finns på dischshop för 99 kr. Schynda, schynda :)

[HuGO24074]

Lol! Five points!

[alicetheactress]

So excited my copy of this DVD is on the way...looks bloody awesome! :)

[madaketproductions]

ahhhhh!!! maggie smith is awsome!!!!!!

[Walshie988]

u hav to have the chinese guy in more of those he had like 20 of the funniest quotes ive ever herd in my life in tht movie

[hostilel7]

"A Terrible Toupee"

[jimmyb227]

This movie is a CLASSIC!! LMFAO!

[mst3k54]

I LOVE James Coco in this. "I'm not a frenchie... I'm a Belgie!"

And of course all the "Cow on wall" material between Sellars and Capote is priceless.

Best Neil Simon work ever!!!

[ptchr4evr9]

"sometimes my gas..." hahahaha

[capricous]

"...And I never did nothin' to a man that I wouldn't do to a woman"

[thatmixedchica]

"Buns? You have Buns?

You brought buns and you didn't tell me?"

lmfao . This movie is the best, freaking hilarious.

[Amarventris]

kahn/Falk is inasane chemistry.