OMG!!! i was diagnosed with DID only late last month. The message I have been getting is that all this happened to so long ago, so lets just deal with the future- am very confused, isolated, lonely, scared- and yes blown away now!! very impactual video- she helped me get it! i will be watching everyday just for the affirmation of it all.
@lillostpiggy You are definitely NOT alone! There is such a great community on YouTube, filled with newly diagnosed systems and those who are, what I call, veterans. I am not a big believer in only dealing with the future, because so much pain and suffering happened in the past. We need to deal with the past so that we can live well in the future. That is just my opinion. But you, my friend, are not alone. And if you ever need to vent, please feel free to contact me.
Thanks for the reply, gone through a very difficult patch.
But my star is still a star and I have confidence and faith in her that she will shine bright again in the very near future. We always try to have future goals and so plan to leave on our holliday soon and drink in some nature,feel the sea air and baste in the sun. Just relax and heal our souls. But most of all have FUN! as only girls know how to. Trust u have an awsome day.
Oh my word! this video blew me away. I watched half and when my friend who has DID came later I watched it again with her and we both cried but good tears. THANK YOU! she is in that place right now and could relate. You are such a motivational speak and she was so encouraged. I admire you and the fact that u put yourself out there and share your life with us all. May peace,health and joy be your portion.
@Myfriendismultiple Every once in awhile we have to stop and remind ourselves that we did in fact survive, we made it because there are times when we feel we are still in that abuse. So often, in our minds, we are constantly reliving the abuse. But when we get those brief moments of reprieve, our happiness and our lives can shine through and we are ok. We did survive!
but most abusers don't really strive to destroy people, that's a result of their actions. they have no sense of the future, they live for their own pleasure. they don't care about other people. They abuse becuase they are sick, and cruel, they don't really have a future goal in destroying people's lives. that just happens becuase of the abuse.
you have to remember that they are nothing, and their lives meant nothing. becuase they are sick to the core.
thank you for this. i've had a really hard couple of months and i think this is the first time i felt some of that triumphant-kick-ass spirit i used to have access to. thank you for helping me to smile.
This is a strong, proactive, self-empowered, brave and victorious video! It seemed you have notes; I wonder if you would be interested in turning your thoughts into a guest post for my PTSD blog? And then we can also embed the vid.... would you be willing? Your thoughts, ideas and words really need to be heard.
thank you for this video. i dont have the same experiences as a MPD/DID person, but i have had my own struggles with family, betrayel of trust, and being used, so i'm not MPD/DID, but i think this video says a universal truth to alot of experiences
thank you for doing your videos as it really helps to know others are out there. I have 30 alters and we are not in touch with each other. So again thank you. We look forward to seeing more so please keep doing these amazing videos.
thank you for doing your videos as it really helps to know others are out there. I have 30 alters and we are not in touch with each other. So again thank you.
@sophieb800 At one time I thought I had around 25 but recently I wrote out all of the names for my therapist and there were only 20. At some point I integrated 5 of them. It's sad when they go.
@carerofmanyfaces I think for a lot of survivors that is the hardest thing to grasp. We can see and sometimes relive the trauma so many times in our heads that we tend to forget that it is really over. Denise and Company are very lucky to have you in their life.
@ReneeBCooper We are more cautious when we enter into those relationships. We have to walk very slow and test. Once those people pass that test, we then can trust. It takes practice but all of us can get there.
I`m just going to try and hold onto your words of support, and remind myself I do have power even if it doesn`t feel like it at the moment. You know what they say, bravery is not the absence of fear, but rather the conviction to still do something even whilst consumed by fear. So I guess it`s one foot in front of the other. Bless you for being a shining light in my otherwise dark days. THANKYOU!
Thanks so much Tomi. Your post really relates to where I am at the moment. I`m currently trying to work through my/our past with my alters, and to be honest the glue that holds our combined sanity together feels pretty thin. We`re all shaken and stressed remembering so much pain and it seems the ghosts of the past are strangling our peace in the present. Two new alters have popped up and this is a new experience in my pretty constant group. They are lovely but I`m just shaken and really tired.
@kerri0002 I can understand being shaken by new alters coming forth. Once you have a foundation of what you have worked for and then suddenly things are different, that would shake anyone. But stay strong friend! We're here for you.
Early on in my healing I did not think it was possible to live through my memories.It felt so horrible I just wanted to die because it hurt so bad. BUT I didnt and I lived through the abuse and the memories and that strength inside me in my inner core pulled me through it. For as much damage as they did- they could not touch that goodness and light and you are so right about that Sidian. Amen sista we beat our abusers by surviving and iving the best life we can. That is the best revenge ever.
Tomi You speak the truth. I'm here & I will be tomorrow. Those abuser f.u.c.ked up my ability to have a healthy relationship with another survivor. It is a struggle for me to BE with her. The good days don't outnumber the bad. She & I , we try.
And I am nowhere close to getting memories. What hell lies ahead?
@iraqidolphin Whatever lies ahead, you aren't alone. These things test us and just as you did before, you will rise above it, you WILL survive it!! I believe in you!!
Wow, thanks for another awesomely inspiring video. We really needed to hear all this right now cause we've been struggling alot w/ memories, flashbacks, and suicidal thoughts so Thank YOU. ~Ari
You're so RIGHT we ARE still here, we made it and continuing to do so is one hell of a way to pay back those bastards who tried to kill us, crush us, make us believe we were nothing and never would be! Being here tomorrow, the ultimate payback, love it, thanks!
this is at a really good time for me. it is something i really can use hearing. after a flash back thing a few weeks ago i and it seems all the swarm have sort of been afraid to speak out loud about anything in the past at all (because was telling therapist lady about a good memory in past and then wham awful flashback worst one ever and we have had plenty of terrible ones). really does feel like all that pain can tear a person apart sometimes. thank you.
Hi Tomi Have ya ever heard a poem called "JUST WAIT"? if not I will read it , well Im not a very good reader , hmm maybe I will send it I think its like what ur video says , if we just wait , tommorrow comes each day , one more day away from the ICK:) Peace Blessings Thanks 4 making this it helps so much
Awesome video, Tomi - the truth. And yes, I've thought this, it comes with the territory. To be honest, it was reaching out to the community here which really helped with everything - I mean it helped a LOT, and still does - because trust is naturally tough for us, but I realized that the same is true for ALL within the community, and that we ALL "get it" - and we have each other and we have ourselves - and, yes, WE ARE STILL HERE - and better than ever, step by step and day by day! : Ha! :D
@ZenAmbient I still have trouble with trust, I struggle with it even now, and even with Melissa, but I am working on it and get better everyday. We have to retrain outselves to allow the good. You're right, day by day
You are one hell of a person. You keep you chin high. Not been through it , but my gf has and your videos have help me us, thank you,
maleshotskip 2 months ago
@maleshotskip Thank you so much! Hope you have a good holiday season!
sidian3 2 months ago
You are y
maleshotskip 2 months ago
OMG!!! i was diagnosed with DID only late last month. The message I have been getting is that all this happened to so long ago, so lets just deal with the future- am very confused, isolated, lonely, scared- and yes blown away now!! very impactual video- she helped me get it! i will be watching everyday just for the affirmation of it all.
lillostpiggy 4 months ago
@lillostpiggy You are definitely NOT alone! There is such a great community on YouTube, filled with newly diagnosed systems and those who are, what I call, veterans. I am not a big believer in only dealing with the future, because so much pain and suffering happened in the past. We need to deal with the past so that we can live well in the future. That is just my opinion. But you, my friend, are not alone. And if you ever need to vent, please feel free to contact me.
sidian3 4 months ago
Thanks for the reply, gone through a very difficult patch.
But my star is still a star and I have confidence and faith in her that she will shine bright again in the very near future. We always try to have future goals and so plan to leave on our holliday soon and drink in some nature,feel the sea air and baste in the sun. Just relax and heal our souls. But most of all have FUN! as only girls know how to. Trust u have an awsome day.
Myfriendismultiple 4 months ago
I watch this often just because it is so eloquent.
MaryJaneSlingBacks 4 months ago
@MaryJaneSlingBacks Thank you so much!
sidian3 4 months ago
This is so immensely moving and so true. Those bastards did their worst and they didn't win.
darkallegiance666 6 months ago
@darkallegiance666 It's true! We are all STILL here no matter what they did to us. That makes us champions!
sidian3 6 months ago
thank-you so much, this video alone has helped us so much. THEY FAILED, YES!
thank-you so so much for your bravery
semicharmed00 6 months ago
@semicharmed00 Thank you for still being here. :)
sidian3 6 months ago
Oh my word! this video blew me away. I watched half and when my friend who has DID came later I watched it again with her and we both cried but good tears. THANK YOU! she is in that place right now and could relate. You are such a motivational speak and she was so encouraged. I admire you and the fact that u put yourself out there and share your life with us all. May peace,health and joy be your portion.
Myfriendismultiple 7 months ago
@Myfriendismultiple Every once in awhile we have to stop and remind ourselves that we did in fact survive, we made it because there are times when we feel we are still in that abuse. So often, in our minds, we are constantly reliving the abuse. But when we get those brief moments of reprieve, our happiness and our lives can shine through and we are ok. We did survive!
sidian3 4 months ago
Beautiful. I love this and thanks for the encouragement.
RioEllington 7 months ago
@RioEllington Thank you! And you are very welcome friend!
sidian3 7 months ago
thank you for this! ♥♥♥
angelycprincess 8 months ago
am aways there
Numitorification 10 months ago
brilliant message.
but most abusers don't really strive to destroy people, that's a result of their actions. they have no sense of the future, they live for their own pleasure. they don't care about other people. They abuse becuase they are sick, and cruel, they don't really have a future goal in destroying people's lives. that just happens becuase of the abuse.
you have to remember that they are nothing, and their lives meant nothing. becuase they are sick to the core.
Rowan07001484 1 year ago
*stands up and applauds*
mysticmirror31 1 year ago
You're amazing, you and your whole system, what a group of truly amazing survivors <3
uljaj 1 year ago
@uljaj Thank you so much!
sidian3 1 year ago
I couldnt stop the tears ,the rage,the anger of all those years of meaningless suttering
Numitorification 11 months ago
I couldnt stop the tears ,the rage,the anger of all those years of meaningless suttering,thankyou
Numitorification 11 months ago
@Numitorification You are very welcome!
sidian3 11 months ago
thank you for this. i've had a really hard couple of months and i think this is the first time i felt some of that triumphant-kick-ass spirit i used to have access to. thank you for helping me to smile.
wearethemaggie 1 year ago
@wearethemaggie You are very welcome friend. Just remember, you made it and you are still here!
sidian3 1 year ago
This is a strong, proactive, self-empowered, brave and victorious video! It seemed you have notes; I wonder if you would be interested in turning your thoughts into a guest post for my PTSD blog? And then we can also embed the vid.... would you be willing? Your thoughts, ideas and words really need to be heard.
HealMyPTSD 1 year ago
A very thoughtful and powerful video, thank you. Very informative and reassuring for any abuse survivors. x
serialinsomniac 1 year ago
@serialinsomniac I agree! I think every survivor needs to hear messages like this. Hope you are well!
sidian3 1 year ago
thank you for this video. i dont have the same experiences as a MPD/DID person, but i have had my own struggles with family, betrayel of trust, and being used, so i'm not MPD/DID, but i think this video says a universal truth to alot of experiences
MsSMSgirl 1 year ago
thank you for doing your videos as it really helps to know others are out there. I have 30 alters and we are not in touch with each other. So again thank you. We look forward to seeing more so please keep doing these amazing videos.
AmberMega777 1 year ago
thank you for doing your videos as it really helps to know others are out there. I have 30 alters and we are not in touch with each other. So again thank you.
AmberMega777 1 year ago
do you know how many personalities you have?
sophieb800 1 year ago
@sophieb800 At one time I thought I had around 25 but recently I wrote out all of the names for my therapist and there were only 20. At some point I integrated 5 of them. It's sad when they go.
sidian3 1 year ago
@sidian3 as much as i bitch about sharing the body/life with the insiders, i can't imagine any of them being gone. *hugs* for u
wearethemaggie 1 year ago
I have to remind Denise and Co. of this over and over. She (they) have survived.
From my perspective as a carer and partner, our relationship and our family has survived, though I wish I could reach the final mountains.
Thank you for this video.
carerofmanyfaces 1 year ago
@carerofmanyfaces I think for a lot of survivors that is the hardest thing to grasp. We can see and sometimes relive the trauma so many times in our heads that we tend to forget that it is really over. Denise and Company are very lucky to have you in their life.
sidian3 1 year ago
Yes, you are right. WE WILL NOT LET THEM.
I am proud of you.
Renee
ReneeBCooper 1 year ago
@ReneeBCooper I am proud of you too! Never let them win!
sidian3 1 year ago
Yes, they have left us with all the crap to deal with. And relationships is a huge one. How can we trust?
Renee
ReneeBCooper 1 year ago
@ReneeBCooper We are more cautious when we enter into those relationships. We have to walk very slow and test. Once those people pass that test, we then can trust. It takes practice but all of us can get there.
sidian3 1 year ago
I`m just going to try and hold onto your words of support, and remind myself I do have power even if it doesn`t feel like it at the moment. You know what they say, bravery is not the absence of fear, but rather the conviction to still do something even whilst consumed by fear. So I guess it`s one foot in front of the other. Bless you for being a shining light in my otherwise dark days. THANKYOU!
kerri0002 1 year ago 4
@kerri0002 You are brave! You are still here and you are surviving! Everyday you are here is another day of Triumph! Remember that.
sidian3 1 year ago
Thanks so much Tomi. Your post really relates to where I am at the moment. I`m currently trying to work through my/our past with my alters, and to be honest the glue that holds our combined sanity together feels pretty thin. We`re all shaken and stressed remembering so much pain and it seems the ghosts of the past are strangling our peace in the present. Two new alters have popped up and this is a new experience in my pretty constant group. They are lovely but I`m just shaken and really tired.
kerri0002 1 year ago
@kerri0002 I can understand being shaken by new alters coming forth. Once you have a foundation of what you have worked for and then suddenly things are different, that would shake anyone. But stay strong friend! We're here for you.
sidian3 1 year ago
Early on in my healing I did not think it was possible to live through my memories.It felt so horrible I just wanted to die because it hurt so bad. BUT I didnt and I lived through the abuse and the memories and that strength inside me in my inner core pulled me through it. For as much damage as they did- they could not touch that goodness and light and you are so right about that Sidian. Amen sista we beat our abusers by surviving and iving the best life we can. That is the best revenge ever.
PolarB36 1 year ago 2
@PolarB36 No truer words have ever been spoken friend! Every single day we are here, is another slap in the face to our abusers.
sidian3 1 year ago
No one took your light, I'll tell you that. You have beautiful wisdom!
Rh1no1 1 year ago 3
@Rh1no1 That is so sweet! Thank you ! You're right! We all still have our light, that light that keeps us here.
sidian3 1 year ago
Tomi You speak the truth. I'm here & I will be tomorrow. Those abuser f.u.c.ked up my ability to have a healthy relationship with another survivor. It is a struggle for me to BE with her. The good days don't outnumber the bad. She & I , we try.
And I am nowhere close to getting memories. What hell lies ahead?
iraqidolphin 1 year ago
@iraqidolphin Whatever lies ahead, you aren't alone. These things test us and just as you did before, you will rise above it, you WILL survive it!! I believe in you!!
sidian3 1 year ago
@sidian3
Thanks. I will survive it because I have friends here on youtube.
iraqidolphin 1 year ago
thank you
ravenchanger 1 year ago
@ravenchanger You are welcome!
sidian3 1 year ago
thank you for this wonderfull video .. xxx
nowimabird 1 year ago
@nowimabird You are welcome! I hope it helped!
sidian3 1 year ago
thank you for this wonderfull video .. xxx
nowimabird 1 year ago
Wow, thanks for another awesomely inspiring video. We really needed to hear all this right now cause we've been struggling alot w/ memories, flashbacks, and suicidal thoughts so Thank YOU. ~Ari
You're so RIGHT we ARE still here, we made it and continuing to do so is one hell of a way to pay back those bastards who tried to kill us, crush us, make us believe we were nothing and never would be! Being here tomorrow, the ultimate payback, love it, thanks!
PiecesofthePuzzle09 1 year ago
@PiecesofthePuzzle09 The best pay back ever! And as they wallow in their grief, we rise up. We get stronger.
sidian3 1 year ago
this is at a really good time for me. it is something i really can use hearing. after a flash back thing a few weeks ago i and it seems all the swarm have sort of been afraid to speak out loud about anything in the past at all (because was telling therapist lady about a good memory in past and then wham awful flashback worst one ever and we have had plenty of terrible ones). really does feel like all that pain can tear a person apart sometimes. thank you.
swarmingneens 1 year ago
@swarmingneens The interesting thing about pain, it reminds us we are still alive! You are still here! And I for one am super glad about that! :)
sidian3 1 year ago
Hi Tomi Have ya ever heard a poem called "JUST WAIT"? if not I will read it , well Im not a very good reader , hmm maybe I will send it I think its like what ur video says , if we just wait , tommorrow comes each day , one more day away from the ICK:) Peace Blessings Thanks 4 making this it helps so much
awesomeastrid 1 year ago
Thank you for such a wonderful video, Tomi. You are such an amazing person. Your videos always are so helpfull and mean so much to me.
IrishGurl6587 1 year ago
@IrishGurl6587 You are very welcome. You are an amazing person, too! I hope one day you will see that. I'm glad I know you!
sidian3 1 year ago
Awesome video, Tomi - the truth. And yes, I've thought this, it comes with the territory. To be honest, it was reaching out to the community here which really helped with everything - I mean it helped a LOT, and still does - because trust is naturally tough for us, but I realized that the same is true for ALL within the community, and that we ALL "get it" - and we have each other and we have ourselves - and, yes, WE ARE STILL HERE - and better than ever, step by step and day by day! : Ha! :D
ZenAmbient 1 year ago
@ZenAmbient I still have trouble with trust, I struggle with it even now, and even with Melissa, but I am working on it and get better everyday. We have to retrain outselves to allow the good. You're right, day by day
sidian3 1 year ago
This was very inspiring!
MaryJaneSlingBacks 1 year ago
@MaryJaneSlingBacks Thank you! I hope it helps!
sidian3 1 year ago
Amen Sistah you r so right on here Amen pheew , yeah they FAIL, we WIN, and STAYING SAFE AND ALIVE isa awsome way 2 PAYEM BACK
Love ur video Love loev love it will be back later Peace Toni woth AStrid clapping & Maria
awesomeastrid 1 year ago
@awesomeastrid Thank you! I hope you doing well my friend!
sidian3 1 year ago
@sidian3 Past few days have been just aweful with memories and slaps up side the head and ICK ICK ICK and this made my day Love you AStrid
awesomeastrid 1 year ago
Tomi, you look a lot like my mom. Just gonna throw that out there.
OrangeKeekat 1 year ago
@OrangeKeekat is that a bad thing or a good thing?
sidian3 1 year ago
@sidian3 It's fine, the resemblance just struck me.
OrangeKeekat 1 year ago
@OrangeKeekat oh ok. No worries! :)
sidian3 1 year ago
Love ur videos Tomi can't wait for the next one, ur so inspirational.
shadowofgrace1 1 year ago
@shadowofgrace1 Thank You Friend! and I meant every word of it!
sidian3 1 year ago