Being open and honest in a relationship would probably work best for anyone. I have seen a lot of break ups because of a lack of honesty to each other and themselves.
I am an aspie in a relationship with someone with hfa. When we are together and in no mood for social interaction we simply don't talk and do our own things but when we do want to interact we do so. Works fine. ;)
Could never be this way with my girlfriend.. Kinda comes across as needy and wanton like he'd be lucky if you approved him to spend time with you lol.
Oh well no need to reply and block me i NEVER EVER read replies so all replies will fall upon blind eyes =-)
@TheAnMish: Did it not feel strange to be making that video with your friend there having to wait for you and watch you make that video? Assuming that she was right there in the room with you? I'd have felt pretty awkward doing that - I'd have been self conscious and concerned that my friend might feel awkward or bored!
@vectorz85 A bit, yes. And I wouldn't make a habbit of it. But I knew it was going to be short, and she didn't mind. And I have a bit of trouble dropping something I'm doing before I'm done, which we also both understand, so in the end, though it was a bit strange, it still worked out fine.
I'm the opposite. When I was in a relationship I couldn't stand being away from her. She said she needed a lone time but then when I went to college and she didn't she couldn't handle it. Typical NTs. Can't make up their minds!
I just got dumped by my fiance who suffers Borderline Personality Disorder. I still love him, but he couldn't deal with the contrast between my aspie clingy-ness and aspie-alone time. At the same time, I valued my alone time. Hopefully I find someone one day who understands.
I am very lucky. I am engaged to a guy who has high functioning autism, and the amount of alone time each of us needs and when we need it is pretty much the same.
@TheAnMish oh yeah. definitely. in previous relationships if I said I wanted time on my own, the reponse was a major panic of what's wrong? dont you love me anymore? what did I do? ...gahh!
How were you diagnosted with asperger? I have a student of mine (I teach drawing classes) that has asperger, and he seems quite more affected by it. You don´t. I know there are levels of that condition, but how can we find out the "limit" from normal (doing everyday life without special help of others) to un-normal (not controling simple things in everyday life)?
@clorofilazul I'm very good at being social for periods of time, but I assure you that the effects of ASD go far beyond that. Just because I don't "seem" to be affected much, doesn't mean I'm not :)
I was diagnosed at 16, by a team of 2 psychologists and 1 doctor.
@saiyanmage It depends who I'm social with. If it's one person that I know well, then I'm good for several days. If it's someone I'm uncomfortable around, max. 1 hour.
I usually get exhausted to the point of not being able to do anything at all for at least one day after, but if I try too hard to push myself past the point of what I'm capable of, it can take several weeks before I'm back to normal.
@saiyanmage I don't know anything about the new layout. However, I don't add people as friends, regardless. I did at one point, but it resulted in me being flooded with all sorts of stuff I didn't want. (Everything from various forms of propaganda, to conspiracy theories and much more) So I removed most, and haven't really added anyone since.
@TheAnMish Thank you for answering. I still want to know a little more, if you will be kind enough. What was the aspects that made them say you have asperger, and why in such a late age? (I give you my mail for you to answer, if you want to: clorofilazul@gmail.com)
I wonder what is the basis of a diagnostic to discover something like that. What are the signs?
@clorofilazul for diagnostic criteria, you probably should talk to me, as I'm not a psychologist.
My mum always knew there was "something wrong with me". That's her words, not mine. I was sent to be evaluated at a young age, but mum later found out that place has a history mis-diagnosing, and not diagnosing cases that should be. Then when I was older, she sent me to another place.
I never read the papers from my original diagnosis - I didn't care to.
@clorofilazul No, that would definitely not have gotten me the diagnosis. No, ASD affects almost every aspect of a person's life, and really cannot possibly be explained in 500 characters.. try watching all my videos to begin with, that'll give you a slight idea of it. But even then, I haven't covered half of it yet.
@clorofilazul I never go outside youtube in ASD related conversations. This is already the equivalent of a part time job, and by spreading it out over several sites (which would include email) I only increase my stress levels. So youtube stays on youtube I mention this in several videos.
As I said, start by watching my videos, and if you one about something specific, ask for that in a comment (preferably on a newer video as I check those comment sections more often).
@medusaheart Aspies either love sex or hate it,if they love sex it could mean its an obssession of theirs ,a sensory thing (wanting or not wanting) or (not into sex) not coping with intermacy.
Hey, I have a relationship question for you. I am a male "aspie" annnnnnd.. I seem to have a huge problem with being able to enter into a serious bf/gf type relationship. And by that, I mean that I couldn't get a chick to actually be my gf if I had a 13 inch dick made out of diamond. How would you suggest that I go about getting a gf? And I'm not talking about getting a female to have sex with me. I've already mastered that. I just can't get them to be my gf. Your advice?
Eh. Alone time is the reason I wouldn't ever like being in a relationship. Friendships are tiring on their own. This is the only thing I hate about asperger's. Pretty much yea...
women in red. Amazing, it flames! it behind youtube and burning. indeed I believe you. Relationships of all sorts can exist. even when the want free time of there own. (by the way i do not have any relation ship.) I am to shy to ask. or never find the right girl. Lot of succes whit expaining your aspies. I
I lost my girlfriend due to me being clingy, then we broke up, I got amazingly upset even tho I tried not to get all upset, but this was the first girl, person, I ever felt anything for....never have for anyone else. @AnMish was my possesiveness normal? :(
I think it is unfair to say that aspies have a tendency to be obsessive/possessive in relationships. This is a neurotypical perception of aspies. just because we hyper focus doesn't mean that we have a problem with obsession. OCD and Aspergers are two separate disorders and you can not label our disorder as obsessive. I think clay marzo put it best when he said, "My cup gets overflown for social interaction. You guys (neurotypicals) have a bucket and we have a cup."
I enjoy your videos. I swear "Private Life" by Oingo Boingo is my theme song....if I were around people for extended periods of time everyday I would be completely exhausted. Certain people have told me they believe I have Aspergers, and I suppose I might, I tend to be: very introverted, very selective with people, and get bored with things after doing them only a handful of times/see everything in terms of repetition. I even refer to all of my hobbies/interests as "quick fix garbage" - they
@vladdt keep me entertained for an hour or two or four - and then I'm bored again - I feel like I've grown increasingly desensitized to any form of entertainment - whether art, literature, film, music, or whatever else, and find most public places very dull/repetitive in nature (bars, cafes, malls, restaurants, theaters, bookstores, music venues, whatever else) - it's quite frustrating....
do you think an autistic couple can raise kids who won't inadvertently take on the autistic traits of their parents? I don't mind if you have no experience of this, I'd like to hear your opinion anyway.
Generally someone who tells you they need time away from you, that means you're being too needy or constantly engaging them. Most people like to relax and not be constantly asked questions or demanded of. Your body and mind need time to recuperate.
I'm still not buying that you're an Aspie.
Also anti-social is an entirely different thing from non-social or wanting some alone time. Anti-social is a mental disorder, criminals and serial killers are anti-social.
@ fedaykin1936 Too slow. I am currently in a relationship. Heh. But thanks anyway for replying to my post with preconceived notions, dead wrong assumptions and an absolutely inadequate solution to a well known problem that most male "aspies" face. Would you like a cookie now? I'm warning you though, I only have oatmeal raisin.
@ fedaykin1936 Tool slow. I am currently in a relationship. Heh. But thanks anyway for replying to my post with preconceived notions, dead wrong assumptions and an absolutely inadequate solution to a well known problem that most male "aspies" face. Would you like a cookie now? I'm warning you though, I only have oatmeal raisin.
Don't you mean asocial not antisocial? Also, most women get offended when a man tells them they want some alone time. They're very insecure and they interpret that as the man doesn't want to spend time with them.
And women can be very insecure, but with most adults it's possible to explain circumstances and make them have at least some understanding. At least in theory...
A lot of people do not understand indeed, it has nothing to do with ego or with wanting the attention. It is just because they simply can not understand the reason and in some cases even unable/not willing to understand. I just hope that some day people will understand it better and stop trying to look at aspy's as being the same as they are.
@1alienist Indeed, you make a good point - I hadn't thought of that. I don't think that one's political affiliation is ALWAYS correlated with certain character traits, but that is often how things work out. Just to return to the original point of this debate, my associations thus far have not been terribly affected by politics, religion, or any such thing - I live in a fairly homogenous area, but have gotten along with conservatives without much trouble. I am a left-leaning independent.
You're ALMOST right. One thing that most PEOPLE living in this country have in abundance is arrogance; this is why they cannot participate in a constructive debate. You may not have spent enough time in the North-East U.S. to determine that neither side is far superior to the other, but I sure have. Also, every country has a dichotomy like this. Sometimes more than one.
@1alienist Alas, you are absolutely correct - but I think that things of that sort happen all over the world, unfortunately. That's politics for you. I too wish that people were more willing to think for themselves, and can't really comprehend it when they choose not to.
Thanks for the compliment! I haven't, but I'll certainly try to keep that recommendation in mind. There are simply too many books in the world, and I just don't know how I'll be able to read them all - even just the good ones.
@1alienist I sure wish that I did, but alas, I do not. I've had conversations with people from a variety of places - I just try to stay really neutral, and to listen as much as possible. I think that it depends on how one goes about the conversation, although I know that some people are particularly resistant to discussion. I don't like to simplify people that much, though, nor do I wish to judge them by their political affiliation (their actions matter more to me).
Wow....I liked you before but now I love you...haha! I wish my girlfriends wanted alone time! Most of mine have been the glue type...that is when I was doing the dating/serious relationship thing...now I'm exploring the world of exclusive FWB's. Amazing how intimate you can be with someone without burdening the experience of mutual attraction.
@michaelmcmichaelson I'd begun when she showed up, and so I asked if she minded that I spend a few minutes getting it done. She didn't mind at all, so there.
My favorite thing about this video is how it does absolutely nothing to help any "aspies" (I'm starting to hate that term more than "African American") who find it impossible to even get into a relationship. Great job here. Next, why don't you make a video helping people born with no legs to walk.
@jasontodd215 You're just a really positive person, huh?
I can't make a video about how to get into a relationship, 'cause there's absolutely no recipe for that. There is nothing I can say which can be guaranteed to work at all. Especially since I really never had a clue as to how any of my relationships started. It seriously "just" happened.
So why on earth would I try to tell other people anything about how to do that?
Have a nice day. Try to smile. Try to be a bit positive. It helps.
@jasontodd215 If you're not able to get into a relationship, there are two probable reasons: the first is that you lack attention to your personal aesthetic or presentation. If you're actually an aspie, and not merely an NT with no social skills (huge difference), you should be able to refocus the lense of neurotic self-cannibalization on your personal hygiene and presentation. This will at least facilitate you getting into a relationship (not keeping one).
@jasontodd215 If you're not able to get into a relationship, there are two probable reasons: the first is that you lack attention to your personal aesthetic or presentation. If you're actually an aspie, and not merely an NT with no social skills (huge difference), you should be able to refocus the lense of neurotic self-cannibalization on your personal hygiene and presentation. This will at least facilitate you getting into a relationship (not keeping one).
Thanks for sharing, i'm always interested to know how other aspies cope in relationships coz it's always been one of the biggest challenges for me :-)
@1alienist Sometimes details are important, and even have big consequenses, but it's still only one thing. There's so much more to a person than their diagnoses.
It's important to treat details with respect, because they're what makes up the whole, but it's also important to understand that (ex) a person is not "asperger" it is a person -with- asperger's.
So when telling people, I find that it shouldn't be turned into more than a detail. People can always ask if they want to know more.. :)
@ArtificialLifef0rm I just figure that it's best to tell people about it if I like their personality and want to get to know them. That way, if they want to know more, they know it's okay to ask, and if they don't, then at least I've told them.
I try not to make it a big deal for myself or anyone else. The way I see it, it's just one detail about me :)
I think that when you think it's bad, others will too. But if you just relax about it, others will respond to that (mostly) in a positive way.
Okay thanks for the reply. I know I will have to tell them eventually, or I'll lose them just like I always lose relationships. I just don't know how to do it since I get very uncomfortable discussing personal things IRL. I guess I don't have the same strong confidence as you have.
@ArtificialLifef0rm It's always hard to say it the first time. But once you get used to it, it gets much easier. I'm quite sure I wouldn't have been able to speak so openly about it 8 years ago. But 7 years ago it would have been way easier. :)
I have a boyfriend, and a hopefully-maybe-future-wife. He quite likes her, actually.. and so far as I know, she likes him, too. So we all quite like to hang out - though with all of us being loners, we would need a huge house :D
I soo understand! Thanks for the info! I've been "alone " For nearly 13 years. I'm now in a serious relationship, and haven't brought this up yet. As we still are not to the "next level" I have been scared to even mention it. I used to be such an extrovert but now, instead of loosing my mind (in question) I enjoy being alone. I'm still adjusting to sharing (so intimately) with someone else.Not that I mind, I'm finding quite the opposite, but the necessary alone time isn't known about yet.
2. Question (and if it's too personal, feel free to tell me so): I noticed that sometimes one of your eyes is slightly red. When I over-strain my eyes, I sometimes end up with that kind of thing, so I was wondering if it was a result of sensitivity (hopefully it isn't pink-eye or anything else equally unpleasant). Sorry if that's an odd thing to ask.
I am very, VERY lucky in that my girlfriend has AS and fully understands my needs and accept hers, And at the same time we have some common interests, not always to the same level but it works.
I'm very confused. I've been in relationships like that but usually i just run away and avoid answering the phone...yea i know it isn't right but i never know what else to do.
If that comment was directed at me, then I must correct you on a few points.
1. I'm not making excuses for anything.
2. I have been evaluated twice for asperger's, and it was confirmed both times. But no, I'm not "mental". Well, I am, but it has nothing to do with any of my videos or my diagnoses.
3. I am not claiming money for being mental. Why would I do that? In fact, I don't earn anything from youtube. And I don't want to, either.
This is by far the biggest issue I have with relationships. I might really enjoy a person's company, but I need my alone time. And if I don't get any alone time at work, that time has to come when I'm not working. It sure puts a strain on things.
Maja, people are always asking you to make a video about aspies and relationships. I think this is exactly the kind of advice they're looking for. You've made your relationship work and have kept it going, and people want to know how you've done it.
it strikes me that if someone isn't prepared to at least try to meet you halfway on just about any issue, they probably aren't ready for a relationship, let alone one with an aspy.. peace :)
I've always been open and honest with others, I've always told others that I like being alone, and I love my time alone. Yet, no one is like me, I've only had 2 long relationships. They ended because of religion. It's quite ridiculous that all I have ever given is respect and honor and honesty and all I get back is a goodbye because of religious beliefs. Religion poisons everything, "God is not Great" by Christopher Hitchens.
If it's not too personal, would you mind sharing how religion had such a drastically negative effect on your relationships? A difference in belief seems like such a silly reason for anyone to end a relationship, although I know that it happens.
@moscowmasha As an atheist, I strongly believe there is no god, I'm certain there isn't. My exes were like, he guides us, without him where did this great world come from? Where do we look for direction? Give me a fucking break, there's no god, never was, it's make believe, they made it up. George Carlin is the fucking best, along with Christopher Hitchens and Calpurnpiso.
I suppose that, as an agnostic atheist, I am not as set in my non-belief as you are. However, I would encourage you not to let something like that divide you from people with whom you otherwise click well (not to assume that that was the case in either of those relationships). In some ways, things like this are trivial - people will believe what they want to believe, but it need not lessen a person's better qualities. I feel the same way about (most) politics.
@moscowmasha I can't speak for ViciousDave4Life, but I know personally, I don't think I would be able to be in a relationship with somebody religious. To me, being religion implies a lack of logic, and logic is something I prize in a person. I couldn't be with somebody if I thought they were stupid.
I'm not religious, but I see this issue somewhat differently. I think that confusing intelligence and belief is a mistake - many, many incredibly intelligent people have chosen religion, for a vast variety of reasons. Aspie or not, you are severely limiting your experience of the world (and, dare I say it, of love) by avoiding those whose beliefs differ from yours. Religion is a complex topic, and people with different life experiences may choose to interpret it differently.
@moscowmasha I have plenty of religious friends, but I could never imagine myself in a romantic relationship with someone like that. I guess I hold my boyfriends to higher standards than my regular friends. To me, those beliefs do seem illogical. Maybe "many incredibly intelligent people" have chosen them, but then I don't consider them incredibly intelligent. I can support the belief in God, but believing something just based on the Bible is moronic.
People base their faith on a lot more than just the Bible (which, by the way, limits the discussion of spirituality to just Christianity, which is only one of hundreds of various beliefs), because religion has been established in tradition, culture, history, art, etc. for centuries. Is your opinion equally definitive in regards to other types of beliefs (which are by definition subjective) - would you refuse to date someone who was, say, an economic liberal/conservative?
@moscowmasha To continue: I could never date a Christian, because I think they're stupid. One of the most academically intelligent people I know is religious, but I still think she's a moron because of it, even though she's one of my best friends. You can believe in Christianity and still be good in math and English, but in my eyes, you still lack common sense and logic.
You must think very poorly of men like Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King jr., then.
When you come to believe that you know more than everyone else and that they're automatically stupid for having a set of beliefs, that makes you the stupid one.
I'm a Christian, and know exactly where I'm going when I kick off. I'm not beating up on you here, but I do highly recommend you do some in-depth research. Read the entire bible at least once.
@Jerkwad152 I admire them for their achievements, not for their beliefs. And no, you don't "know" exactly where you're going. You can never know. You can believe, but unless you have absolute proof, you can't know for certain. For all I "know," I could be going to Hell. But I don't believe so. I don't believe anything without enough proof to support it. I haven't read the entire Bible, but I know its stories. There is no proof for any of them.
You had better hope for your sake that I'm wrong. The nothingness you believe in would be a far better alternative to Hell. I am deeply afraid for you, and will pray for you. And that's not the hokey line you'll get from the organized religious, it's the blunt, honest truth.
@Jerkwad152 It's not about what I hope is true, it's about what I know is true vs. what there is no proof for. Even if I thought that I did want to go to Heaven, I couldn't just force myself to believe something that makes no sense. And it's not that I think that nothingness will be great, but there's no proof that there's anything other than nothingness. You have fun praying for me; see if that fixes anything. If you believe I have to accept Jesus to go to Heaven, how will praying help?
By consigning all people who disbelieve to Hell, you are sort of perpetuating the same idea as InsanelyxLogical. Just because I do not follow any sort of religion does not mean that I do not follow a set of morals that is as valid as the one set up in the Bible, or that I know any less about life than you do. Your first argument was so eloquent - why suddenly leap to such a tone of preachy disapproval?
First of all, why do your standards differ for platonic and romantic relationships? That shows a kind of flippancy in regards to friendships that seems a little troubling. On a similar note, I wonder how your friends feel about this. If a friend told me that she thought I was a moron, I would probably choose not to continue that friendship. Doesn't all that judging make life rather difficult?
To reiterate, I am an agnostic ATHEIST, so I don't think that there's much evidence for the existence of any sort of deity either. I just think that discussion fuels the mind, and that a person can miss out on a lot by refusing to allow the other side a position of credibility, even in theory. Conversations with people whom one likes and/or respects are likely to be more interesting and enlightening, and may reveal a different, potentially comprehensible perspective.
To (hopefully) conclude the excessive number of comments that I've left on this video, I would like to add that I am of the same mind about political (and other) views. Had I not dated a libertarian, non-literary, conservative-leaning, American-born-and-raised, math-, science-, and technology-oriented (as I learned later, fellow) Aspie for three years, I would be a very different person from the one I am now (and, in my view, a lesser one).
Yeah my gf and I have to go through cycles where she overwhelms me, and then we spend too much time alone. Its a lot of work to find that sweet spot where we are maintaining the relationship while not getting overwhelmed. When we didn't live together it was really easy, living together really changed the privacy dynamic.
Yeah I know it can be a bit difficult sometimes :) But I see what you mean about it's okay. Also TheAnmish. I thought I just have to let you know, you've got so perfect lips and you're so beatiful ^^
I'm an only child so if I don't get my alone time I really start to wig. So I don't think it's just an AS trait, it just depends on your personal comfort levels. So you aren't alone on this at all. <3 It's best to just explain that your use to certain things and if they don't understand then they really aren't putting in what is needed for a relationship to work.
I was open about it, it didn't work, I am now Divorced. I sadly Married someone that demanded constant attention and never gave me any alone time. Well now I am very alone and without my kids:(
While I do not have AS I really.. feel that I can relate. I tend to need a lot (an unusual lot) of alone-time. From girlfriends, from friends, from anyone I spend much time with. This need did end my 2-year long relationship with last girlfriend, a girlfriend that was my complete opposite. Don't know why I'm writing this, but it feels good to share. Thank you for reading.
This is the exact reason why I don't really feel like having a relationship with anyone. I just feel that I can't really dedicate myself to another human being, if it may hinder my life style.
@moscowmasha I'll just have to wait until I'm ready, I guess. I don't want to make anyone feel bad, and I have to focuse on my studies for the time being. Sometimes I think about trying to meet someone after I pass my studies, so I've not given up just yet.
That seems like a reasonable attitude - best not to jump into that sort of thing before you're ready anyhow. Just as long as you are willing to give it a chance at SOME point.
@CiphersSon I may add some insight that it's not so much as reclusion but more like a "recharge". So for me it's never the question of whether I have enough time, but if I don't fully "recharged", then it's simply CAN NOT do, rather than will not do. So you really really need to find someone not just only tolerate, but also understand you as well. Finding the right partner as AnMish is hard and needing some luck I guess?
Being open and honest in a relationship would probably work best for anyone. I have seen a lot of break ups because of a lack of honesty to each other and themselves.
I am an aspie in a relationship with someone with hfa. When we are together and in no mood for social interaction we simply don't talk and do our own things but when we do want to interact we do so. Works fine. ;)
Yodan82 1 week ago
Could never be this way with my girlfriend.. Kinda comes across as needy and wanton like he'd be lucky if you approved him to spend time with you lol.
Oh well no need to reply and block me i NEVER EVER read replies so all replies will fall upon blind eyes =-)
ShroudedFury 1 month ago
Wonder why that guy dislike(s)/(d) you lol
ShroudedFury 1 month ago
@TheAnMish: Did it not feel strange to be making that video with your friend there having to wait for you and watch you make that video? Assuming that she was right there in the room with you? I'd have felt pretty awkward doing that - I'd have been self conscious and concerned that my friend might feel awkward or bored!
vectorz85 1 month ago
@vectorz85 A bit, yes. And I wouldn't make a habbit of it. But I knew it was going to be short, and she didn't mind. And I have a bit of trouble dropping something I'm doing before I'm done, which we also both understand, so in the end, though it was a bit strange, it still worked out fine.
TheAnMish 1 month ago
@TheAnMish fair enough. She sounded quite cheerful anyway! Very interesting video, thanks!
vectorz85 1 month ago
I'm the opposite. When I was in a relationship I couldn't stand being away from her. She said she needed a lone time but then when I went to college and she didn't she couldn't handle it. Typical NTs. Can't make up their minds!
madlibsluver 2 months ago
I just got dumped by my fiance who suffers Borderline Personality Disorder. I still love him, but he couldn't deal with the contrast between my aspie clingy-ness and aspie-alone time. At the same time, I valued my alone time. Hopefully I find someone one day who understands.
MrsRhythmNation 2 months ago
I am very lucky. I am engaged to a guy who has high functioning autism, and the amount of alone time each of us needs and when we need it is pretty much the same.
thebestwillow 2 months ago
@thebestwillow It's wonderful when that happens. Makes everything so much easier :)
TheAnMish 2 months ago
@TheAnMish oh yeah. definitely. in previous relationships if I said I wanted time on my own, the reponse was a major panic of what's wrong? dont you love me anymore? what did I do? ...gahh!
thebestwillow 2 months ago
How were you diagnosted with asperger? I have a student of mine (I teach drawing classes) that has asperger, and he seems quite more affected by it. You don´t. I know there are levels of that condition, but how can we find out the "limit" from normal (doing everyday life without special help of others) to un-normal (not controling simple things in everyday life)?
Hope my question is ok for you.
I am just a curious (suposelly "natural") guy.
clorofilazul 2 months ago
@clorofilazul I'm very good at being social for periods of time, but I assure you that the effects of ASD go far beyond that. Just because I don't "seem" to be affected much, doesn't mean I'm not :)
I was diagnosed at 16, by a team of 2 psychologists and 1 doctor.
TheAnMish 2 months ago
@TheAnMish
How long can you be social? What happens if you go past that?
I guess they're kind of intrusive questions, you don't have to answer them if you don't want to. :)
Let's be friends, though!
saiyanmage 2 months ago
@saiyanmage It depends who I'm social with. If it's one person that I know well, then I'm good for several days. If it's someone I'm uncomfortable around, max. 1 hour.
I usually get exhausted to the point of not being able to do anything at all for at least one day after, but if I try too hard to push myself past the point of what I'm capable of, it can take several weeks before I'm back to normal.
TheAnMish 2 months ago
@TheAnMish
Well that's downright amazing. You can do anything you set your mind to :) Don't ever forget that.
I can't find the "Add as Friend" button on your channel though. Maybe you removed it? :(
saiyanmage 2 months ago
@saiyanmage I don't know anything about the new layout. However, I don't add people as friends, regardless. I did at one point, but it resulted in me being flooded with all sorts of stuff I didn't want. (Everything from various forms of propaganda, to conspiracy theories and much more) So I removed most, and haven't really added anyone since.
TheAnMish 2 months ago
@TheAnMish
Oh. I shall go cry then.
saiyanmage 2 months ago
@TheAnMish
Just kidding :)
I'll definitely be watching all your videos... I probably need sleep though; 7:25 AM
Thanks for bothering to answer -wink-
saiyanmage 2 months ago
@TheAnMish Thank you for answering. I still want to know a little more, if you will be kind enough. What was the aspects that made them say you have asperger, and why in such a late age? (I give you my mail for you to answer, if you want to: clorofilazul@gmail.com)
I wonder what is the basis of a diagnostic to discover something like that. What are the signs?
clorofilazul 2 months ago
@clorofilazul for diagnostic criteria, you probably should talk to me, as I'm not a psychologist.
My mum always knew there was "something wrong with me". That's her words, not mine. I was sent to be evaluated at a young age, but mum later found out that place has a history mis-diagnosing, and not diagnosing cases that should be. Then when I was older, she sent me to another place.
I never read the papers from my original diagnosis - I didn't care to.
TheAnMish 2 months ago
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@TheAnMish I invite you to listen to my music. And see some of my art.
clorofilazul 2 months ago
@TheAnMish In what areas do you have asperger characteristics? Just music?
clorofilazul 2 months ago
@clorofilazul No, that would definitely not have gotten me the diagnosis. No, ASD affects almost every aspect of a person's life, and really cannot possibly be explained in 500 characters.. try watching all my videos to begin with, that'll give you a slight idea of it. But even then, I haven't covered half of it yet.
TheAnMish 2 months ago
@TheAnMish Ok, fair enough ;) (500 leters its this small window... that is why I gave you my e-mail...)
clorofilazul 2 months ago
@clorofilazul I never go outside youtube in ASD related conversations. This is already the equivalent of a part time job, and by spreading it out over several sites (which would include email) I only increase my stress levels. So youtube stays on youtube I mention this in several videos.
As I said, start by watching my videos, and if you one about something specific, ask for that in a comment (preferably on a newer video as I check those comment sections more often).
TheAnMish 2 months ago
@TheAnMish Ok. I get your point. No stress intended.
But I also thank you if you went to see my music. If not... then... there is no reciprocity, I guess!
Keep on with your videos. I do search a lot, and that is what I will do. So, here I go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
clorofilazul 2 months ago
I have checked your various looks and, suprisingly I must say you look best here, au natural! So cute! Have a nice day!
plalelal 2 months ago
wtf TheDevilguy676 is suspended
JohanBomholt 3 months ago
Woohoo for honest communication!
psilocybinist 3 months ago
you speak in the same kind of tone and way I do
TinyTracey 3 months ago in playlist TinyTracey's favourites
you remind me of milla jovovich :)
spikespeigel 3 months ago
Hi,
probably a stupid question: because the only person who can KNOW what one wants, is oneself!
But, what do you think about connections between being aspie ...and being gay? (I asked gorramdoll- great site!- but she is diff from me, I think.)
1) Is it homo- to dislike the opposite sex? Or is that, "bad attitude".
2) Is it aspie to be not a very sexual person?
I'm a teenager, so maybe I'm 'curious'/ambiguous?
(R all guys 'pigs'; do aspie guys- never met one- OINK less?)
Girl/-?-\friends.
medusaheart 4 months ago
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TinyTracey 3 months ago in playlist TinyTracey's favourites
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TinyTracey 3 months ago in playlist TinyTracey's favourites
This has been flagged as spam show
@medusaheart Aspies either love sex or hate it,if they love sex it could mean its an obssession of theirs ,a sensory thing (wanting or not wanting) or (not into sex) not coping with intermacy.
TinyTracey 3 months ago in playlist TinyTracey's favourites
Hey, I have a relationship question for you. I am a male "aspie" annnnnnd.. I seem to have a huge problem with being able to enter into a serious bf/gf type relationship. And by that, I mean that I couldn't get a chick to actually be my gf if I had a 13 inch dick made out of diamond. How would you suggest that I go about getting a gf? And I'm not talking about getting a female to have sex with me. I've already mastered that. I just can't get them to be my gf. Your advice?
n33chisgod 5 months ago
Spot on.
All i have to say. Thanks for destigmatizing spectrum girls. I think you're doing a good job explaining.
pocketrocketocd 6 months ago
Eh. Alone time is the reason I wouldn't ever like being in a relationship. Friendships are tiring on their own. This is the only thing I hate about asperger's. Pretty much yea...
ElleEstVivante 8 months ago
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jwardmagic07 9 months ago
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jwardmagic07 9 months ago
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jwardmagic07 9 months ago
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jwardmagic07 9 months ago
women in red. Amazing, it flames! it behind youtube and burning. indeed I believe you. Relationships of all sorts can exist. even when the want free time of there own. (by the way i do not have any relation ship.) I am to shy to ask. or never find the right girl. Lot of succes whit expaining your aspies. I
masterkey14 9 months ago
I lost my girlfriend due to me being clingy, then we broke up, I got amazingly upset even tho I tried not to get all upset, but this was the first girl, person, I ever felt anything for....never have for anyone else. @AnMish was my possesiveness normal? :(
TheDevilguy676 9 months ago
@TheDevilguy676 Aspies do sometimes have a tendency to be obsessive/possessive about people who are important in their lives.
We can be very clingy. We can also be the complete opposite, of course.
So.. I guess as an aspie trait, this wasn't irreguar in any sense.
But you can work at it, to change your behavior in those situations, if you want to. It's very much possible :)
TheAnMish 9 months ago 5
I think it is unfair to say that aspies have a tendency to be obsessive/possessive in relationships. This is a neurotypical perception of aspies. just because we hyper focus doesn't mean that we have a problem with obsession. OCD and Aspergers are two separate disorders and you can not label our disorder as obsessive. I think clay marzo put it best when he said, "My cup gets overflown for social interaction. You guys (neurotypicals) have a bucket and we have a cup."
axelvideoandfilm 2 months ago
I enjoy your videos. I swear "Private Life" by Oingo Boingo is my theme song....if I were around people for extended periods of time everyday I would be completely exhausted. Certain people have told me they believe I have Aspergers, and I suppose I might, I tend to be: very introverted, very selective with people, and get bored with things after doing them only a handful of times/see everything in terms of repetition. I even refer to all of my hobbies/interests as "quick fix garbage" - they
vladdt 9 months ago
@vladdt keep me entertained for an hour or two or four - and then I'm bored again - I feel like I've grown increasingly desensitized to any form of entertainment - whether art, literature, film, music, or whatever else, and find most public places very dull/repetitive in nature (bars, cafes, malls, restaurants, theaters, bookstores, music venues, whatever else) - it's quite frustrating....
vladdt 9 months ago
do you think an autistic couple can raise kids who won't inadvertently take on the autistic traits of their parents? I don't mind if you have no experience of this, I'd like to hear your opinion anyway.
thebestwillow 9 months ago
you are so right.Thanks for the video
31correlli 10 months ago
Generally someone who tells you they need time away from you, that means you're being too needy or constantly engaging them. Most people like to relax and not be constantly asked questions or demanded of. Your body and mind need time to recuperate.
I'm still not buying that you're an Aspie.
Also anti-social is an entirely different thing from non-social or wanting some alone time. Anti-social is a mental disorder, criminals and serial killers are anti-social.
jackburton2009 10 months ago
@ fedaykin1936 Too slow. I am currently in a relationship. Heh. But thanks anyway for replying to my post with preconceived notions, dead wrong assumptions and an absolutely inadequate solution to a well known problem that most male "aspies" face. Would you like a cookie now? I'm warning you though, I only have oatmeal raisin.
jasontodd215 11 months ago
@ fedaykin1936 Tool slow. I am currently in a relationship. Heh. But thanks anyway for replying to my post with preconceived notions, dead wrong assumptions and an absolutely inadequate solution to a well known problem that most male "aspies" face. Would you like a cookie now? I'm warning you though, I only have oatmeal raisin.
jasontodd215 11 months ago
Don't you mean asocial not antisocial? Also, most women get offended when a man tells them they want some alone time. They're very insecure and they interpret that as the man doesn't want to spend time with them.
psx2514 11 months ago
@psx2514 Perhaps, yes.
And women can be very insecure, but with most adults it's possible to explain circumstances and make them have at least some understanding. At least in theory...
TheAnMish 11 months ago
A lot of people do not understand indeed, it has nothing to do with ego or with wanting the attention. It is just because they simply can not understand the reason and in some cases even unable/not willing to understand. I just hope that some day people will understand it better and stop trying to look at aspy's as being the same as they are.
SIG442 11 months ago
@1alienist Indeed, you make a good point - I hadn't thought of that. I don't think that one's political affiliation is ALWAYS correlated with certain character traits, but that is often how things work out. Just to return to the original point of this debate, my associations thus far have not been terribly affected by politics, religion, or any such thing - I live in a fairly homogenous area, but have gotten along with conservatives without much trouble. I am a left-leaning independent.
moscowmasha 11 months ago
@1alienist
You're ALMOST right. One thing that most PEOPLE living in this country have in abundance is arrogance; this is why they cannot participate in a constructive debate. You may not have spent enough time in the North-East U.S. to determine that neither side is far superior to the other, but I sure have. Also, every country has a dichotomy like this. Sometimes more than one.
moscowmasha 11 months ago
@1alienist Alas, you are absolutely correct - but I think that things of that sort happen all over the world, unfortunately. That's politics for you. I too wish that people were more willing to think for themselves, and can't really comprehend it when they choose not to.
Thanks for the compliment! I haven't, but I'll certainly try to keep that recommendation in mind. There are simply too many books in the world, and I just don't know how I'll be able to read them all - even just the good ones.
moscowmasha 11 months ago
I agree with you 100%.
TheCharacterActor 1 year ago
you look a lot happier now maybe its the red dress and lighting
rapist41 1 year ago
@1alienist I sure wish that I did, but alas, I do not. I've had conversations with people from a variety of places - I just try to stay really neutral, and to listen as much as possible. I think that it depends on how one goes about the conversation, although I know that some people are particularly resistant to discussion. I don't like to simplify people that much, though, nor do I wish to judge them by their political affiliation (their actions matter more to me).
moscowmasha 1 year ago
Wow....I liked you before but now I love you...haha! I wish my girlfriends wanted alone time! Most of mine have been the glue type...that is when I was doing the dating/serious relationship thing...now I'm exploring the world of exclusive FWB's. Amazing how intimate you can be with someone without burdening the experience of mutual attraction.
drolraw13 1 year ago
I can't believe you made a video when your friend was there. That's pretty weird.
michaelmcmichaelson 1 year ago
@michaelmcmichaelson I'd begun when she showed up, and so I asked if she minded that I spend a few minutes getting it done. She didn't mind at all, so there.
Pretty weird? Mebbe. I never said I was normal.
TheAnMish 1 year ago 7
@iTrolledABearOnce go fuck yourself your cock sucker!
WiccanMann04 1 year ago
My favorite thing about this video is how it does absolutely nothing to help any "aspies" (I'm starting to hate that term more than "African American") who find it impossible to even get into a relationship. Great job here. Next, why don't you make a video helping people born with no legs to walk.
jasontodd215 1 year ago
@jasontodd215 You're just a really positive person, huh?
I can't make a video about how to get into a relationship, 'cause there's absolutely no recipe for that. There is nothing I can say which can be guaranteed to work at all. Especially since I really never had a clue as to how any of my relationships started. It seriously "just" happened.
So why on earth would I try to tell other people anything about how to do that?
Have a nice day. Try to smile. Try to be a bit positive. It helps.
TheAnMish 1 year ago
@jasontodd215 If you're not able to get into a relationship, there are two probable reasons: the first is that you lack attention to your personal aesthetic or presentation. If you're actually an aspie, and not merely an NT with no social skills (huge difference), you should be able to refocus the lense of neurotic self-cannibalization on your personal hygiene and presentation. This will at least facilitate you getting into a relationship (not keeping one).
fedaykin1936 11 months ago
@jasontodd215 If you're not able to get into a relationship, there are two probable reasons: the first is that you lack attention to your personal aesthetic or presentation. If you're actually an aspie, and not merely an NT with no social skills (huge difference), you should be able to refocus the lense of neurotic self-cannibalization on your personal hygiene and presentation. This will at least facilitate you getting into a relationship (not keeping one).
fedaykin1936 11 months ago
Why not just say you need 6 months to your self! ;-))))
Pablo113 1 year ago
Thanks for sharing, i'm always interested to know how other aspies cope in relationships coz it's always been one of the biggest challenges for me :-)
spondicious 1 year ago
@1alienist Sometimes details are important, and even have big consequenses, but it's still only one thing. There's so much more to a person than their diagnoses.
It's important to treat details with respect, because they're what makes up the whole, but it's also important to understand that (ex) a person is not "asperger" it is a person -with- asperger's.
So when telling people, I find that it shouldn't be turned into more than a detail. People can always ask if they want to know more.. :)
TheAnMish 1 year ago
I have a question: How do you even gather up the guts to tell your friends about your handicap? I have AS as well but no friends really... :(
ArtificialLifef0rm 1 year ago
@ArtificialLifef0rm I just figure that it's best to tell people about it if I like their personality and want to get to know them. That way, if they want to know more, they know it's okay to ask, and if they don't, then at least I've told them.
I try not to make it a big deal for myself or anyone else. The way I see it, it's just one detail about me :)
I think that when you think it's bad, others will too. But if you just relax about it, others will respond to that (mostly) in a positive way.
TheAnMish 1 year ago
@TheAnMish
Okay thanks for the reply. I know I will have to tell them eventually, or I'll lose them just like I always lose relationships. I just don't know how to do it since I get very uncomfortable discussing personal things IRL. I guess I don't have the same strong confidence as you have.
ArtificialLifef0rm 1 year ago
@ArtificialLifef0rm It's always hard to say it the first time. But once you get used to it, it gets much easier. I'm quite sure I wouldn't have been able to speak so openly about it 8 years ago. But 7 years ago it would have been way easier. :)
TheAnMish 1 year ago
Your amazing
SP1597 1 year ago
So wait you have a boyfriend and a girlfriend?
vv1g 1 year ago
@vv1g Heh.. um...
I have a boyfriend, and a hopefully-maybe-future-wife. He quite likes her, actually.. and so far as I know, she likes him, too. So we all quite like to hang out - though with all of us being loners, we would need a huge house :D
TheAnMish 1 year ago
@TheAnMish Goddamn that sounds like a good time to me.
vv1g 1 year ago
@vv1g Well, she lives in a different country, so I don't see her much.
TheAnMish 1 year ago
Everyone needs their alone time! :-p I find it important for mental stability.
Even if I was married i'd need my own room... for my own space... and time.
I think we would work well together ;-)
Freak7109 1 year ago
@Freak7109 I agree :)
TheAnMish 1 year ago
I think it is a very major red flag if someone doesn't want you to have free time.
StarMagick 1 year ago
I soo understand! Thanks for the info! I've been "alone " For nearly 13 years. I'm now in a serious relationship, and haven't brought this up yet. As we still are not to the "next level" I have been scared to even mention it. I used to be such an extrovert but now, instead of loosing my mind (in question) I enjoy being alone. I'm still adjusting to sharing (so intimately) with someone else.Not that I mind, I'm finding quite the opposite, but the necessary alone time isn't known about yet.
pumpstations 1 year ago
1. Red looks fabulous on you!
2. Question (and if it's too personal, feel free to tell me so): I noticed that sometimes one of your eyes is slightly red. When I over-strain my eyes, I sometimes end up with that kind of thing, so I was wondering if it was a result of sensitivity (hopefully it isn't pink-eye or anything else equally unpleasant). Sorry if that's an odd thing to ask.
moscowmasha 1 year ago
@moscowmasha My eyes are generally very sensitive. Light, cold, wind.. anything like that starts them watering. it's quite annoying :D
And thank you :)
TheAnMish 1 year ago
@TheAnMish
Thanks for responding! Same here. It is indeed SUPER annoying.
moscowmasha 1 year ago
I am very, VERY lucky in that my girlfriend has AS and fully understands my needs and accept hers, And at the same time we have some common interests, not always to the same level but it works.
ste3lwill 1 year ago
I'm very confused. I've been in relationships like that but usually i just run away and avoid answering the phone...yea i know it isn't right but i never know what else to do.
agentsteve007 1 year ago
The diversity in the Aspergers community. I have Aspergers and I never have the need to be alone. In fact I am quite clingy.
LinkMEP 1 year ago
I need some time to myself so please fuck off.
toppledgod 1 year ago
oor joanne says you are making excuses
if you can do that then you aint mental
you are claiming money for being mental
not cool
swinewarrior 1 year ago
@swinewarrior ?
If that comment was directed at me, then I must correct you on a few points.
1. I'm not making excuses for anything.
2. I have been evaluated twice for asperger's, and it was confirmed both times. But no, I'm not "mental". Well, I am, but it has nothing to do with any of my videos or my diagnoses.
3. I am not claiming money for being mental. Why would I do that? In fact, I don't earn anything from youtube. And I don't want to, either.
TheAnMish 1 year ago
O.O you have a bf!?..... T-T
hairypotter1234 1 year ago
flight attendants make for great partners, time away and all, oh wait she found a boyfriend in barcelona, true this, sucks this
funkskull 1 year ago
Schizoids like myself don't have this problem...
GTRrocker666 1 year ago
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krstcmjns 1 year ago
This is by far the biggest issue I have with relationships. I might really enjoy a person's company, but I need my alone time. And if I don't get any alone time at work, that time has to come when I'm not working. It sure puts a strain on things.
Maja, people are always asking you to make a video about aspies and relationships. I think this is exactly the kind of advice they're looking for. You've made your relationship work and have kept it going, and people want to know how you've done it.
markleerose 1 year ago
Your very pretty =)
puritain1 1 year ago
just dont wash ar brush your teeth
athelstane1314 1 year ago
it strikes me that if someone isn't prepared to at least try to meet you halfway on just about any issue, they probably aren't ready for a relationship, let alone one with an aspy.. peace :)
PlanetBongoSan 1 year ago
I've always been open and honest with others, I've always told others that I like being alone, and I love my time alone. Yet, no one is like me, I've only had 2 long relationships. They ended because of religion. It's quite ridiculous that all I have ever given is respect and honor and honesty and all I get back is a goodbye because of religious beliefs. Religion poisons everything, "God is not Great" by Christopher Hitchens.
ViciousDave4Life 1 year ago
@ViciousDave4Life
If it's not too personal, would you mind sharing how religion had such a drastically negative effect on your relationships? A difference in belief seems like such a silly reason for anyone to end a relationship, although I know that it happens.
moscowmasha 1 year ago
@moscowmasha As an atheist, I strongly believe there is no god, I'm certain there isn't. My exes were like, he guides us, without him where did this great world come from? Where do we look for direction? Give me a fucking break, there's no god, never was, it's make believe, they made it up. George Carlin is the fucking best, along with Christopher Hitchens and Calpurnpiso.
ViciousDave4Life 1 year ago
@ViciousDave4Life
I suppose that, as an agnostic atheist, I am not as set in my non-belief as you are. However, I would encourage you not to let something like that divide you from people with whom you otherwise click well (not to assume that that was the case in either of those relationships). In some ways, things like this are trivial - people will believe what they want to believe, but it need not lessen a person's better qualities. I feel the same way about (most) politics.
moscowmasha 1 year ago
@moscowmasha I can't speak for ViciousDave4Life, but I know personally, I don't think I would be able to be in a relationship with somebody religious. To me, being religion implies a lack of logic, and logic is something I prize in a person. I couldn't be with somebody if I thought they were stupid.
InsanelyxLogical 1 year ago
@InsanelyxLogical
I'm not religious, but I see this issue somewhat differently. I think that confusing intelligence and belief is a mistake - many, many incredibly intelligent people have chosen religion, for a vast variety of reasons. Aspie or not, you are severely limiting your experience of the world (and, dare I say it, of love) by avoiding those whose beliefs differ from yours. Religion is a complex topic, and people with different life experiences may choose to interpret it differently.
moscowmasha 1 year ago
@moscowmasha
(That is, of course, only my opinion.)
moscowmasha 1 year ago
@moscowmasha I have plenty of religious friends, but I could never imagine myself in a romantic relationship with someone like that. I guess I hold my boyfriends to higher standards than my regular friends. To me, those beliefs do seem illogical. Maybe "many incredibly intelligent people" have chosen them, but then I don't consider them incredibly intelligent. I can support the belief in God, but believing something just based on the Bible is moronic.
InsanelyxLogical 1 year ago
@InsanelyxLogical
People base their faith on a lot more than just the Bible (which, by the way, limits the discussion of spirituality to just Christianity, which is only one of hundreds of various beliefs), because religion has been established in tradition, culture, history, art, etc. for centuries. Is your opinion equally definitive in regards to other types of beliefs (which are by definition subjective) - would you refuse to date someone who was, say, an economic liberal/conservative?
moscowmasha 1 year ago
@moscowmasha To continue: I could never date a Christian, because I think they're stupid. One of the most academically intelligent people I know is religious, but I still think she's a moron because of it, even though she's one of my best friends. You can believe in Christianity and still be good in math and English, but in my eyes, you still lack common sense and logic.
InsanelyxLogical 1 year ago
@InsanelyxLogical
You must think very poorly of men like Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King jr., then.
When you come to believe that you know more than everyone else and that they're automatically stupid for having a set of beliefs, that makes you the stupid one.
I'm a Christian, and know exactly where I'm going when I kick off. I'm not beating up on you here, but I do highly recommend you do some in-depth research. Read the entire bible at least once.
Jerkwad152 1 year ago
@Jerkwad152 I admire them for their achievements, not for their beliefs. And no, you don't "know" exactly where you're going. You can never know. You can believe, but unless you have absolute proof, you can't know for certain. For all I "know," I could be going to Hell. But I don't believe so. I don't believe anything without enough proof to support it. I haven't read the entire Bible, but I know its stories. There is no proof for any of them.
InsanelyxLogical 1 year ago
@InsanelyxLogical
You had better hope for your sake that I'm wrong. The nothingness you believe in would be a far better alternative to Hell. I am deeply afraid for you, and will pray for you. And that's not the hokey line you'll get from the organized religious, it's the blunt, honest truth.
Jerkwad152 1 year ago
@Jerkwad152 It's not about what I hope is true, it's about what I know is true vs. what there is no proof for. Even if I thought that I did want to go to Heaven, I couldn't just force myself to believe something that makes no sense. And it's not that I think that nothingness will be great, but there's no proof that there's anything other than nothingness. You have fun praying for me; see if that fixes anything. If you believe I have to accept Jesus to go to Heaven, how will praying help?
InsanelyxLogical 1 year ago
@Jerkwad152
By consigning all people who disbelieve to Hell, you are sort of perpetuating the same idea as InsanelyxLogical. Just because I do not follow any sort of religion does not mean that I do not follow a set of morals that is as valid as the one set up in the Bible, or that I know any less about life than you do. Your first argument was so eloquent - why suddenly leap to such a tone of preachy disapproval?
moscowmasha 1 year ago
@InsanelyxLogical
First of all, why do your standards differ for platonic and romantic relationships? That shows a kind of flippancy in regards to friendships that seems a little troubling. On a similar note, I wonder how your friends feel about this. If a friend told me that she thought I was a moron, I would probably choose not to continue that friendship. Doesn't all that judging make life rather difficult?
moscowmasha 1 year ago
@InsanelyxLogical
To reiterate, I am an agnostic ATHEIST, so I don't think that there's much evidence for the existence of any sort of deity either. I just think that discussion fuels the mind, and that a person can miss out on a lot by refusing to allow the other side a position of credibility, even in theory. Conversations with people whom one likes and/or respects are likely to be more interesting and enlightening, and may reveal a different, potentially comprehensible perspective.
moscowmasha 1 year ago
@InsanelyxLogical
To (hopefully) conclude the excessive number of comments that I've left on this video, I would like to add that I am of the same mind about political (and other) views. Had I not dated a libertarian, non-literary, conservative-leaning, American-born-and-raised, math-, science-, and technology-oriented (as I learned later, fellow) Aspie for three years, I would be a very different person from the one I am now (and, in my view, a lesser one).
moscowmasha 1 year ago
I feel the same with bi-polar. It's hard to be hard to understand.
Al1981X 1 year ago
I'm married to an NT, and the problem I often find is that I may want to be alone while she may be in need of me on an emotional level.
andrew7a 1 year ago
do you have problems making friends? If yes how did you get over it?
erdal0 1 year ago
Yeah my gf and I have to go through cycles where she overwhelms me, and then we spend too much time alone. Its a lot of work to find that sweet spot where we are maintaining the relationship while not getting overwhelmed. When we didn't live together it was really easy, living together really changed the privacy dynamic.
anubis2814 1 year ago
Yeah I know it can be a bit difficult sometimes :) But I see what you mean about it's okay. Also TheAnmish. I thought I just have to let you know, you've got so perfect lips and you're so beatiful ^^
2200ratedHunter 1 year ago
I almost only have long-distance relationships, so, almost all the days are for myself.
gilberto201 1 year ago
@gilberto201 Unfortunately, I can relate to that :(
hildegain 1 year ago
@hildegain It don't seems unfortunate to me having a lot of time to myself.
gilberto201 1 year ago
@gilberto201 I just have one person that I want to spend all of my time with and can't.
hildegain 1 year ago
I avoid long term relationships. The few I've ended up in all dissolve because of this. Neediness is the most annoying thing on the planet.
Healthypig1423 1 year ago
I'm an only child so if I don't get my alone time I really start to wig. So I don't think it's just an AS trait, it just depends on your personal comfort levels. So you aren't alone on this at all. <3 It's best to just explain that your use to certain things and if they don't understand then they really aren't putting in what is needed for a relationship to work.
MistressArte 1 year ago
I was open about it, it didn't work, I am now Divorced. I sadly Married someone that demanded constant attention and never gave me any alone time. Well now I am very alone and without my kids:(
xxxMST3Kxxx 1 year ago
While I do not have AS I really.. feel that I can relate. I tend to need a lot (an unusual lot) of alone-time. From girlfriends, from friends, from anyone I spend much time with. This need did end my 2-year long relationship with last girlfriend, a girlfriend that was my complete opposite. Don't know why I'm writing this, but it feels good to share. Thank you for reading.
GrottoFace 1 year ago
This is the exact reason why I don't really feel like having a relationship with anyone. I just feel that I can't really dedicate myself to another human being, if it may hinder my life style.
TheLostDemocracy 1 year ago
@TheLostDemocracy
It can be so, so difficult, but you may be missing out by giving up altogether!
moscowmasha 1 year ago
@moscowmasha I'll just have to wait until I'm ready, I guess. I don't want to make anyone feel bad, and I have to focuse on my studies for the time being. Sometimes I think about trying to meet someone after I pass my studies, so I've not given up just yet.
TheLostDemocracy 1 year ago
@TheLostDemocracy
That seems like a reasonable attitude - best not to jump into that sort of thing before you're ready anyhow. Just as long as you are willing to give it a chance at SOME point.
moscowmasha 1 year ago
counter question. What if you don't get enuff time after the fact of recluseion ? (renaming my screen name to damaged goods) lol:-P
CiphersSon 1 year ago
@CiphersSon I may add some insight that it's not so much as reclusion but more like a "recharge". So for me it's never the question of whether I have enough time, but if I don't fully "recharged", then it's simply CAN NOT do, rather than will not do. So you really really need to find someone not just only tolerate, but also understand you as well. Finding the right partner as AnMish is hard and needing some luck I guess?
countingtls 1 year ago
@countingtls i don't think theirs ever a "true"partner.but a phcyce to decearn over time..some times together other times alone.a
CiphersSon 1 year ago