For me, when the phone rings, I do tend to anticipate what will happen but I pick it up. If I have to make a call though, like you said, it's very hard and I end up not doing it. It's awful.
When the phone rings, I can't NOT pick it up! =) Luckily. How do you work towards it being easier to make calls? I generally just try to do it even if it's scary. I know logically nothing dangerous can happen, but the fear is still there...
Yes, I understand. What I do is I have to have nobody there in the room, or nearby because I would fear they'd critisize me. Also, I need to build up courage for a long time before I can even bring myself to make a call.
That is exactly what I do! I get angry if my boyfriend insists on bein in the same room. And then I sit and stare at the phone for a while telling myself that it is not dangerous and thinking about that I have to make the call...
Sounds like when you screw up, you're afraid you'll be judged. The question that arises in my mind is whether, when *others* screw up, you judge *them* - even if you don't show it.
Hey! If I need to spend half an hour in my head to find where I screwed up in a conversation that lasted five minutes, do you really think I have the time to find what others did wrongly? That's the thing that makes it all better. I remember that I don't examine other people as thoroughly as I do myself. Then the logical conclusion is that they don't either, so they most likely didn't notice my screw-ups. Take your hate somewhere else, please.
"do you really think I have the time to find what others did wrongly?"
Obviously the answer is yes. After all, you found hate in my comment even though it wasn't there. It takes no time at all to fabricate such an offense out of nothing. God knows I've done it in the past, and I know you had it done to you as a kid - and what was done unto you, you're now trying to do unto me. A bit silly, isn't it?
I'm not trying to do anything. Maybe you are seing an agenda that isn't there? From your logic, then you always have an agenda when you say something to someone else? Now I know I'm being silly. But try to understand. When you make a video like this you expose yourself. Getting critisized for it will make you go into defence-mode...
The only reason anyone gets defensive is because he or she has an egotistical investment in whatever idea is being challenged.
Do not imagine, Vidde, that I hold you in any contempt. As you admit, you were being silly, and I called you on it. I am under no illusions that that makes me a better person than you.
Anyways, I don't judge people for the stuff I judge myself on. That would be crazy. Am I crazy for judging myself by standards I don't expect anyone else to meet? Most likely.
What are this Standards? And have You developt they by Yourself or are developt by others? Is there Somebody that judging You by this Standards? Or is it really only You that do this?
Who's right? Who's wrong? Doesn't really matter. The world isn't blach and white. And just because you understand something it doesn't mean your brain will stop doing illogic things. That's what this is all about. If I did this deliberately to myself I could stop. But I can't directly control it. Just like I cant control my hearts beating. But I do wish it could be reasoned away...
True, you can't control it by an effort of will. What you CAN do, in a manner of speaking, is to step back and realize that your out-of-control mind is controlling YOU. That will put you back in control - at least until the next time you get upset about something. ;)
Well, me talking about it is kind of proof that I allready have made that realization. Now I am (and have been for several years) struggling with keeping it in control...
The realization is not complete, because you have not yet realized that struggling only keeps you locked into the struggle. Nor do you see how overreacting to everyday annoyances keeps the flywheel spinning, so to speak.
My last comment got lost... What overreactions are you talking about? Apart from in these comments (where I did, cause I can't see you guys), but don't judge me from that...
You don't think of it as an overreaction, but every time something doesn't go according to plan and you get the least bit upset, you have overreacted whether you show it or not. Then, if you're like most people, rather than stand still for the realization of your mistake, you make an excuse for it or escape into some distraction - which in your case may mean judging yourself for it. The minute you start seeing all this - which takes no analysis whatsoever - you will start to get better.
I don't get it. By reacting to failure (seems like a human feature), and not blaming myself("make an excuse for it"), I overreact and judge myself? I get confused... What do you mean by "stand still for the realization of the mistake"? How do I "stand still"?
Let's leave the "standing still" part alone for now. Reacting resenfully to failure may be normal in the sense that most people don't know any better than to do it, but that doesn't mean it's healthy, or that YOU have to do it.
An excuse is a lie meant to cover up the fact that you overreacted, as serves as a means of escaping conscience. Self-judgment (getting angry with yourself) does the same thing. Either one compounds the original mistake.
I do not like Telephones, not when it rings and also not when I have to call someone. But what I really do not like the most, is, when I thought "when I do this, something what is not good, will happen" and it really happend.. (what - in the Past - was relativly often so).
I tried to explain. And I also posted another comment here with it spellt the right way and with a link to wiki where it was described. But that comment got lost... lucky you were here!
Thanks for putting your opinion on this (: I think a lot of people have trouble with phones, at least from what i've heard. I've always hated pills in everyway, it just covers everything up. I'm glad i'm off the antidepressants, only a matter of time when i stop taking the sleeping pill. Then i'll be happily drug free (:
thumbs up, ron from harry potter's sister
freazynaruto4 1 year ago
Me too...!!
twisteddaz 4 years ago
i feel anxious to pick phone in the office.
mildpace 4 years ago
For me, when the phone rings, I do tend to anticipate what will happen but I pick it up. If I have to make a call though, like you said, it's very hard and I end up not doing it. It's awful.
RedhotrickVersion2 4 years ago
When the phone rings, I can't NOT pick it up! =) Luckily. How do you work towards it being easier to make calls? I generally just try to do it even if it's scary. I know logically nothing dangerous can happen, but the fear is still there...
viddeliten 4 years ago
Yes, I understand. What I do is I have to have nobody there in the room, or nearby because I would fear they'd critisize me. Also, I need to build up courage for a long time before I can even bring myself to make a call.
RedhotrickVersion2 4 years ago
That is exactly what I do! I get angry if my boyfriend insists on bein in the same room. And then I sit and stare at the phone for a while telling myself that it is not dangerous and thinking about that I have to make the call...
viddeliten 4 years ago
Oh I see. I know how you feel.
RedhotrickVersion2 4 years ago
Sounds like when you screw up, you're afraid you'll be judged. The question that arises in my mind is whether, when *others* screw up, you judge *them* - even if you don't show it.
charlietcc 5 years ago
Hey! If I need to spend half an hour in my head to find where I screwed up in a conversation that lasted five minutes, do you really think I have the time to find what others did wrongly? That's the thing that makes it all better. I remember that I don't examine other people as thoroughly as I do myself. Then the logical conclusion is that they don't either, so they most likely didn't notice my screw-ups. Take your hate somewhere else, please.
viddeliten 5 years ago
"do you really think I have the time to find what others did wrongly?"
Obviously the answer is yes. After all, you found hate in my comment even though it wasn't there. It takes no time at all to fabricate such an offense out of nothing. God knows I've done it in the past, and I know you had it done to you as a kid - and what was done unto you, you're now trying to do unto me. A bit silly, isn't it?
charlietcc 5 years ago
I'm not trying to do anything. Maybe you are seing an agenda that isn't there? From your logic, then you always have an agenda when you say something to someone else? Now I know I'm being silly. But try to understand. When you make a video like this you expose yourself. Getting critisized for it will make you go into defence-mode...
viddeliten 5 years ago
The only reason anyone gets defensive is because he or she has an egotistical investment in whatever idea is being challenged.
Do not imagine, Vidde, that I hold you in any contempt. As you admit, you were being silly, and I called you on it. I am under no illusions that that makes me a better person than you.
charlietcc 5 years ago
Anyways, I don't judge people for the stuff I judge myself on. That would be crazy. Am I crazy for judging myself by standards I don't expect anyone else to meet? Most likely.
viddeliten 5 years ago
What are this Standards? And have You developt they by Yourself or are developt by others? Is there Somebody that judging You by this Standards? Or is it really only You that do this?
DasEnde2006 5 years ago
Only me... and my mother... nowadays anyway.
viddeliten 5 years ago
So is it really you who is judging you, or her voice inside your head?
charlietcc 5 years ago
How the heck should I know? I'm gonna need to take a break from YT soon. I am finding out too much about myself here, and it makes me dissy! =)
viddeliten 5 years ago
"Am I crazy for judging myself"
Yes. Believe me, I've been there...and it's just a trick to avoid being judged by your conscience.
charlietcc 5 years ago
I'm sorry, I don't quite follow you.
viddeliten 5 years ago
Let me try it from another angle: you know it's wrong to judge others, right? Why then would you think it any less wrong to judge yourself?
charlietcc 5 years ago
Oh, how I wish the world and all the people in it was as simple as that...
viddeliten 5 years ago
It's NOT wrong to judge yourself?
charlietcc 5 years ago
Who's right? Who's wrong? Doesn't really matter. The world isn't blach and white. And just because you understand something it doesn't mean your brain will stop doing illogic things. That's what this is all about. If I did this deliberately to myself I could stop. But I can't directly control it. Just like I cant control my hearts beating. But I do wish it could be reasoned away...
viddeliten 5 years ago
True, you can't control it by an effort of will. What you CAN do, in a manner of speaking, is to step back and realize that your out-of-control mind is controlling YOU. That will put you back in control - at least until the next time you get upset about something. ;)
charlietcc 5 years ago
Well, me talking about it is kind of proof that I allready have made that realization. Now I am (and have been for several years) struggling with keeping it in control...
viddeliten 5 years ago
But, today it is better, then it was before. :)
And I also hope, that Your Situation will be better and better, Step by Step!
DasEnde2006 5 years ago
Thankyou! That was what I needed to hear.
viddeliten 5 years ago
Good to hear! :)
( Wow, seems, I said something usefull!! :) )
DasEnde2006 5 years ago
And, If I understand You not right: Sorry! :(
DasEnde2006 5 years ago
The realization is not complete, because you have not yet realized that struggling only keeps you locked into the struggle. Nor do you see how overreacting to everyday annoyances keeps the flywheel spinning, so to speak.
charlietcc 5 years ago
My last comment got lost... What overreactions are you talking about? Apart from in these comments (where I did, cause I can't see you guys), but don't judge me from that...
viddeliten 5 years ago
You don't think of it as an overreaction, but every time something doesn't go according to plan and you get the least bit upset, you have overreacted whether you show it or not. Then, if you're like most people, rather than stand still for the realization of your mistake, you make an excuse for it or escape into some distraction - which in your case may mean judging yourself for it. The minute you start seeing all this - which takes no analysis whatsoever - you will start to get better.
charlietcc 5 years ago
I don't get it. By reacting to failure (seems like a human feature), and not blaming myself("make an excuse for it"), I overreact and judge myself? I get confused... What do you mean by "stand still for the realization of the mistake"? How do I "stand still"?
viddeliten 5 years ago
Let's leave the "standing still" part alone for now. Reacting resenfully to failure may be normal in the sense that most people don't know any better than to do it, but that doesn't mean it's healthy, or that YOU have to do it.
An excuse is a lie meant to cover up the fact that you overreacted, as serves as a means of escaping conscience. Self-judgment (getting angry with yourself) does the same thing. Either one compounds the original mistake.
Do you disagree with any of that?
charlietcc 5 years ago
I do not like Telephones, not when it rings and also not when I have to call someone. But what I really do not like the most, is, when I thought "when I do this, something what is not good, will happen" and it really happend.. (what - in the Past - was relativly often so).
DasEnde2006 5 years ago
Was it like creapy?
viddeliten 5 years ago
mhhm.. What dou You mean with the Word "creapy"? I actually do not understand it.
DasEnde2006 5 years ago
You should get a dictionary! I just wondered if you could like predict the future... or if the predictions was kind of obvious?
viddeliten 5 years ago
I have a Dictionary.. And I had searched in it, but it do not know this Word! And a online Translations-Engine I usualy use, knows it also not.
DasEnde2006 5 years ago
The word is "creepy", not "creapy".
Damn furriners. :)
charlietcc 5 years ago
I tried to explain. And I also posted another comment here with it spellt the right way and with a link to wiki where it was described. But that comment got lost... lucky you were here!
viddeliten 5 years ago
Yes, that is really strange! Comments get lost and lost and...
DasEnde2006 5 years ago
Thanks for putting your opinion on this (: I think a lot of people have trouble with phones, at least from what i've heard. I've always hated pills in everyway, it just covers everything up. I'm glad i'm off the antidepressants, only a matter of time when i stop taking the sleeping pill. Then i'll be happily drug free (:
bishi4me 5 years ago
Your cheeks are rosy! Must be cold out there!
TommyK1974 5 years ago
Not especially in this one. -16 degrees. Celsius.
viddeliten 5 years ago