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From: TEDtalksDirector
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  • Lovely!

  • So live a life without emotional feeling? For all its madness I would live with the ability to love and be hurt rather than a robot of a system where the only love is money and power and the control that goes hand in hand with it.

  • I have felt as though I have loved so DEEPly that entire universes were being created. Is this normal??

  • @calebhartkey Yes. your truly madly deeply in love, dont let it go, that sort is once in a lifetime

  • @gruyyt Its not just once in a life time. The first two times it happened to me almost BROKE me completely, but I only came back stronger. This time feels different. They say the third times the charm, right?

  • @calebhartkey i think i know what u mean. loving so deeply you feel like passing out, because of the intense emotional stress,

  • Yeah, sexual attraction is strange ,the more Helen Fisher talks about it, the more I'm attracted to her....go figure.

  • wonderful. 

  • Only if all females where educated like Helen Fisher.

  • You get pulled towards the same attitude, understanding of life, knowledge and personality as well. This is why it's always extremely risky to fall in love. All of that stuff changes....and quite rapidly! It might have been possible in the 1800s and before, but now the person you fall in love with will not be the same person 6 months further down!

  • Unfortunately she only understands this theoretically. Understand this as being true and you become a Buddhist

  • All the old guys in the video looking at the speaker seems to be in love with her lol...and so am I

  • If you think this is amazing, listen to the song Sunlove by Big Chocolate. It samples her speech and will blow your mind.

  • She's very fucking annoying

  • science says that we love with our brain and religion says that we love with our heart.. true is somewhere in between

  • Thank you .

  • correct, but it isn't love she talks but just only passion...

  • In her love of her eloquence and erudition and enthusiasm, she reminds me of Carl Sagan

  • @crumblepie001

    Actually, numerous studies of the sort HAVE been done, although I am unfortunately incapable of providing exact names/dates.

  • Wow! My mind was blown...This video is great

  • love is a need

  • "Love is in us,

    It's deeply embedded in the brain,

    Our challenge is to understand each other."

    This woman speaks with such passion in her work, it's practically poetry<3

  • what about our energetic bodies?

    what about the heart? and the soul?

    what about karma? keep researching!

  • "ehh, ehh, ehh"

  • and having very little money and no right to work and he unable to find work just made it all the more terrifying and difficult. I used to be a very happy carefree person back when I had steady work and enough money to survive. It was the lack of money/security that made me miserable and sick. I am absolutely certain that money will make my life go from terrifying to bliss. I am all the more certain now since he has been hired and even though he hasnt started yet we both feel much less depressed

  • @crumblepie001 I dont think money makes you happy. It your personal philosophy and outlook mostly, but also your living situation impacts it greatly. I just spent the last 3 years going to food banks and begging the inlaws for rent money every month (for the last year anyway). We were constantly on the brink of being homeless, I developed anxiety disorder and have dental pain with no hope of affording the dentist. I had to immigrate to his country so that we could be allowed to live together...

  • Some people seem to fall in love constantly. Others, not so often.  I used to fall in love a lot before entering college. Now in college, not at all.

  • Those are some awesome short-shorts at 15:13

  • I still don't buy this whole love thing. She said it's like an addiction and there is a deep attachment. The neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp hints at how love relates to our basic emotional systems; I get the feeling that those who feel love most strongly are just those who've had the most painful separation distress as babies! Me included! I've been 'in love' with several girlfriends and each time I got over them, I realise I didn't actually like them without the rose tinted spectacles on!

  • @tobo86 You/We enjoy the feeling of love, 'elevation of energy' which is attached to a person/relationships. That is what love is. Love is activated by the characteristics you adore in someone. So the several girlfriends must have common factors that bring out the 'energy level' in you... hope that made sense, im half asleep... :)

  • @gagzy1989 Hmmm sounds like you are onto something, although I must admit, for my thoughts to be clear, I need to translate words like 'energy' into science. Coz it could be a language trap! But that still makes sense, I would just call it activating the emotional systems. Haha, I'm actually a robot, but I never let on!! To be honest though, I think the girlfriends were doing a combination of soothing my attachment insecurity and sexing me up at the same time. Scuse the vulgarity but it's true!

  • @gagzy1989 And thanks for comment :-)

  • If some great mind could just connect these specific perceptions with a reason for the cosmic uniting of souls in Love, then, just maybe we could proceed to greater realms of understanding. 

  • It's really not all about mating...! It can't be, what about loving or family and friends?!

    And it's not like after you get married, and you become too old to have children and stop loving your spouse because you can no longer mate!!!

  • get your criminal shit off youtube

  • I'm incredibly addicted to my husband. Relationship is 5 years strong. Im not delirious like I was for the first year or so, but I am still strongly drawn to him and same with him. I know we will be one of those old couples who still truly love each other. I feel so lucky. I won the love lottery.

    Now if only I wasn't so damn poor. lol. One more lottery to win :P

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  • Wow, thanks for the coffee shop poetry reading about "love." Did you guys do any interesting research? Because I didn't get very far before I gave up.

  • That is one bigass invisible retainer....

  • i did like this but i wish that more of it was about science and not about quotes from plato and others, i mean it does help people to think outside of the box and such, but it almost seems as she is having a stab at what love is rather than using a more scientific approach

    yes she used brain scans and such but it would of been better if it was a bit more in-depth scientifically

  • Seems she's never been in love ever, she would know true love lasts longer that the profusion of the passions which you can't get rid of. What she's talking about is not love, just one layer of it, she actually destroys the true meaning of it. I feel sorry for her and those who eat this crap =(

  • first 8 minutes of crap, can't bear more sorry

  • I'm very happy because I found this speech again! I'm very interested in this subject! ;) I would like to define my own feelings... yet, it's impossible to define it rationally, scientifically. Perhaps it's all about some energy we all have - we just meet this other energy, which is for us the 'right' energy, and that's all. The matter of two compatible energies.

  • All nice, but how about people like my girlfriends& I who have a poly-amourous relationship? I've never felt more in love than I have with these two beautiful souls who by some miracle love me and each other too! I understand it is not the norm, but being ambidextrous isn't either! So much for the theory that humans are built to love one at a time only! Maybe I should be happy with freedom in Europe because I also know a woman and her two male partners who've been happily together for 23yrs!!!

  • Her brain scan data hasn't explained anything. It basically says, "It's all in the head." We knew that already. So now we know what part. Big deal. Now we can say, "It's all in the amygdala, or some such." That isn't an explanation, nor are the hormone ratios. It's like a caveman scanning a moving car and saying, "I found a hot spot under the hood, so now we know how it works. And when it goes fast, we get a gas out the pipe." It can be used for lie detection, though -- fake love detected.

  • @JoeyFudd

    Finding out how thing are working, in an ever more precise way, is exactly what science is all about.

  • She's trying to be a moving orator too hard and to put on a show of rhetoric with that poem and the pompous inflections. Her cocaine joke flopped, because she's not playing it straight. Drop the act and speak from the heart without reading those darn canned notes. Bad speaker. This is why college can suck. Your stuck with a pompous turkey like this and all her hot air.

  • @JoeyFudd

    It's hard to believe that when you finally get to the specifics of her research and findings, they are pretty damn intriguing.  It is sad to find her droning on in her presentations, interviews and written work from page one or minute one.

  • oh, Science starts at 15:00 or so, and at 15:30, I find out I'm a boy. Damn

  • urgh, get to the science

  • Thanks Prof Abramson from for this awesome link!!!

  • this talk is good, but how do you differentiate between being authentically in love and being needy?

  • @Life3is Truth scary?

  • @BobMcCob ? What is your point ''Bob'' in those two words? IF you still need more explanation to what I've previous declared: I am against in ''scianifically'' research about the human SOUL characteristics... WHAT are scientists doing? They CUT deep to FIND those so called ''evidences''...

  • @Life3is - & WHO would scientifically look for what is in some one's SOUL - no matter the path they use, there is THE SAME - they are CRIMINALS! Someone should NOT QUESTION LOVE/FEELINGS/such evidence or otherwise - whatever it is about the SOUL! Thank you for your time :)(:

  • @Life3is Define "soul". Is the soul the personality, the feelings, the cares that you have, or the experience of these things? Everything you love, all you have known and your personality, tastes, opinions and ideas are the structure of your brain and the chemicals within. The subjective experience of these is anyone guess.

    Love be chemicals, case closed.

    And I'm extremely sure that human vivisection is looked down upon by the scientific community, if that is what your getting at.

  • @BobMcCob -HAVE you idea what is that to you to be in a scientist's eye?You wouldn't be agnowledged about it - imagine - when it is about your behaviour in this subject, would you?IF I was the case of such a subject,OR I just felled under a stupid person's power-that was it,my chance-but I need no more the service of a dating site (as these scientists used) & I need no other new criminal person in my life either-thks! IF I'M STILL ALIVE(?)it's not to kill my criminal...nor to look for another!!

  • @BobMcCob SCIENTISTS should cut the deads not those ALIVE.

    :)(:

  • @Life3is i read your "arguments" with BobMcCob, and you sir, are either an ignorant fool or a troll. I can't decide which, so at peril of feeding a troll...

    Your statements clearly show you have no notion of biochemistry, neurology, physics, science in general, or the architecture of data processing systems.

    Your "soul", interpreted as your conciousness, is a result of your connectome, and the signals it uses. Simplified stated, it's a feedback loop in an analog circutry.

  • hahahahhaa what strange creatures we are

  • Amazing information and yet most of the comments are about the speaker. lol. Guilty myself in that I found it distracting, but I was able to receive the material as well. And I think maybe this relates to the fact that the Panda in the Zoo, I think Ling Ling which refused to mate for so long simply wasn't attracted to the other panda and therefore couldn't even get it up to get it on. They should have just gotten him drunk and slipped him some "ecstasy." Science. Go figure.

  • I really wanted to listen to this talk but I couldn't hear her voice after struggling through 5 mins of it. It was so annoying. I'll find something to read instead.

    I tried to analyse exactly what was annoying - the breathing, the speed, the lack of spaces in between words that allows one to assimilate the information contained. The pitch, suffering from an illness - I couldn't quite make it out. Shame really cause I wish no offence at all.

  • amazing topic and a dull speaker

  • @jay123tysk Yeah I do know religion is bullshit. thats why i wrote what i did. if you look back to when organized religion was created you can look through the holy texts and see that the women and african has been seen as inferior. Dude, in 1909 the POPE! said that women would hurt society if they tried to have a life outside the house. (and im a guy)

    yes religion is bullshit. you dont need to tell me. thanks though

  • Amazing!

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  • An exceptional speech, the fusion of neurobiology and philosophy was beautiful and, more importantly, augmented her point absolutely.

  • men have been providers, women have been the ones who care for the family. over time religion has manifested this idea in their own ways. the point is, religion fucks up everything. people find a way to use religion as a scape goat.

  • @SEnsiStar32 Religion is BS and you know it.

  • This is like the research i was hoping to do :p. But i realised that one couldn't get past an ethics commitee for what I wanted to study. Absolutely brilliant ideas! Keep them coming X

  • Thats complete bullshit the ISLAM system.

    ISLAM System only benifets man.

    Not women.

  • yeah right

    it benefits women much more than it does to men

    women receive comfort and direct financial dependency from men while even they are working.

    they are not asked to contribute their whole earnings

    you people are blind and in dark ages

  • you know rorygherbert1990 has a very good point. that is bullshit. this "men are better than women" shit is stupid. women have been shit on for years because people take all that religion to literally. why cant women have 4 husbands why do only the men do. i can guess because it was written by a bunch horny sexist sociopathic men.

  • yeah right

    it benefits women much more than it does to men

    women receive comfort and direct financial dependency from men while even they are working.

    they are not asked to contribute their whole earnings

    you people are blind and in dark ages

  • its not written

    it is divine and prophetic

    it is linked to millions of years of revelations

  • @Spacemonkey742 Women tend to desire sex less regularly than men. They also can have at most 1 baby every nine months. That's why it makes more sense for a man to want multiple wives than it does for a woman to want multiple husbands.

    There are however societies where women have multiple husbands.

  • @Spacemonkey742 I bet you are a girl. Anyway, I still agree.

  • @larbo1616 I think he's a guy. But his reasoning is still faulty.

  • @Spacemonkey742 Damn speak the truth! [[:

  • @Spacemonkey742 im trying to reply to reply to ur post but it keeps saying that there is an error...

  • @Spacemonkey742

    i agree that men are not better than women but we are different. There are matriarchal societies where women do have multiple partners. Sadly there is a correlative relationship between patriarchal vs matriarchal societies and the fact that every single first world country is male dominant. Chris Rock said it best when he said "you would think woman would rule the world but you know why they dont? women.. hate.. women!" ^^

  • @Spacemonkey742 Do women even want four husbands? Some women might have high sex drives due to the testosterone in their bodies but can they really handle 4 men's sex drives? The reason you don't see women with multiple husbands is because they don't want it. Men in the past had multiple wives because we needed to spread our genes, to reproduce. Also, it's normal to see men with many wives at one single point in time because the women dissipates all his sex drive.

  • Interesting!

  • Nonono... don't put maths equations into this...

    'The lesser my hope, the hotter my love'

    omg that's doomsday right there...

  • Amazing & interesting.

  • it is not gratuitous that the leading scientist on 'love' is a woman. Even if she might be gay.

  • I love this lecture... Very interesting research, amazing choice of poetry... interesting conclusions...

  • I´ve just understood the half of her speach -.-

  • God that was wholly inelegant.

  • even though its her job as a researcher, i feel like she's trying to explain every little thing; as if every single part of love can be explained by something scientific.

  • ...ohh. This makes more sense. I guess. Lol

  • Calla vieja loca de mierda!

  • Fire runs through my body with the pain of loving you Pain runs through my body with the fires of my love for you Pain like a boil about to burst with my love for you Consumed by fire with my love for you I remember what you said to me I am thinking of your love for me I am torn by your love for me Pain and more pain Where are you going with my love? I am told you will go from here I am told you will leave me here My body is torn with grief Remember what I said, my love Goodbye my love Goodbye.
  • Although this is also the basis for playing hard to get lol...

  • @brandonmgd it's actually my body is numb with grief

  • @brandonmgd BULL SHI*

  • @adamrocks2006 Sorry you feel that way.

  • Bravo from the EQ Coach who knows this ... I also do Dating Coaching. I hear about this all the time, up-close and personal.

  • Wow! She's truly described my brain... Great job, wonderfully said and explained

  • ooh dios mio!! D: El amor es un maldito, que no tiene piedad

  • es un puto. :(

  • jajajaja! =P

  • Wonderful, thank you very much to Helen!

  • Just love it! And she`s so smart n sexy!

  • love this video, 3rd time watching it, but how come i want to keep it to myself? ja ja ja

  • Since seeing Dr Daniel Amen's special on PBS The Brain in Love, I have become fascinated by this topic. A fascinating study indeed. Not to be disrespectful, but I think she would do well to hone her skills at public speaking.

  • Interesting points at:

    04:14 People who are in love show activity found in base of brain in the Reptilian-complex. This area makes dopamine and sprays it to other parts of the brain.  People who also show activity in this area are on cocaine!

    05:33 Rejected lovers showed activity in regions where intense love and attachment occur. When you cannot get what you want, you grave it even more.

  • Helen Fisher says when you cannot get what you want in love, you CRAVE it more, not grave it more. That was a Freudian slip, because i have experienced an excruciatingly slow rejection of existing deep love and i had suicidal ideations.

  • I wish the TED mics didn't pick up so much treble - every breath, every sniff, every smack of the tongue. It's driving me crazy.

  • We crave love because, yes it is an instinctual behavior, and we experience it at birth when our mothers, in a rush of oxytocin, nurture us. It is called the attachment theory. In terms of our genes, the purpose of life is to procreate, raise our children to adulthood, and then to die. Love can become an addiction, thus people die for it. Remember that love is not entirely rational.

  • but i don't know the exact answer only a dumb theory!

  • In the networking world, no theory is dumb. Your individual theory is as valid as each of ours, and i would love to hear yours. The crazier, the better! I enjoy wild imaginations when they conjecture. I think people can die over ending intense love, simply because their pain becomes too great to bear. Death is a painless solution. Your theory if you can still remember? Sometimes our minds lose our good ideas if we do not write them down. Is it to inflict guilt on ex-lover?

  • we crave love possibly because it's instinctual behavior that is chemically inspired by the need to survive and to procreate to survive the human species. also one of the basic human needs is human recognition and it's a need so we just have the basic need to be recognized by others...and especially love...it's our nature. why do some people die for it? cause it's complicated if i told you why, you would think i am crazed!

  • love it!

    thnx for uploading!

  • her voice makes me uncomfortable

  • Interesante....

  • oh boy. she turned this talk into an advertisement for her website with no conclusion to her research :(

  • I cannot believe what she says is what is happening to me... Since one year ago, I declared myself to one guy and he rejected me and I still like him. It may sound stupid but don't know what to do because It's very hard to forget about him!

  • when a guy doesnt show interst, it means

    you dont have anything that he lacks.

    perhaps u even have things that will annoy him to a point. it could be too much attention or whatever.

    the only way a guy could become intersted in a woman is seeing something that he THINKS he lacks in his everyday life. wether its happiness or simply just a great friend.

  • If it helps at all, I feel you're pain.

  • "nobody gets out of love alive"

  • Good one! or sane :o)

  • how does she explain the upwardly mobile?

  • i absolutely agree with her that socio economic status, education levels and good looks aren't the main criteria for attraction, it's an innate biology.

    ==========

    LOL... yeah sure... Anna Nicole Smith said that exact same thing about her hubby too :)

  • so true everything you said.very interesting.can someone died of a broken heart?

  • Yes, someone can die of a broken heart. When someone is separated from THAT person they can no longer interact with them and slowly they start to shut down in thier minds and then in the body. The human desire to live is strong and can be revitalized with new intereasts and will reboot, just like a computer. So Don't Loose Heart.

  • lol sorry bout my previous comment.

    i absolutely agree with her that socio economic status, education levels and good looks aren't the main criteria for attraction, it's an innate biology.

    individuals are attracted to certain people just by the stimuli their face provides to another's brain.

    i absolutely believe this.

  • when westerners talk about love, it is almost always love intertwined with sexual attraction or between the sexes.

    they know so much about love yet the divorce rates are 1 in 2 in the west.

    AHAHHAHAHAHA.

  • her voice annoys me but very intreeking speech

  • ok. Then I'm genuinely sorry for questioning you. Take care

  • She's amazing

  • Incogniteaux: You read that out of a David Icke book didn't you? The Author who proclaims himself as 'Son of God'.

  • The god of love lives in the state of need. Et tu, Plato?

  • i took her class at rutgers but she's very cool and i loved her way of teaching. She's always busy though.

  • Not one Obsession is good.

    Feeling's make me so confused because they collide with my logical part of the brain. Aghhh It hurt's!

  • 5/5. That nose-influenced voice can turn anything into comedy.

  • Absolutely!

    Though I sympathize with the difficulty she must have with sounding sincere. :)

  • What does poverty have to do with what she's talking about? How about you GTFOKTHX

  • that is VERY interesting i will have to research on this brain of ours now..

  • That was incredibly fascinating.

  • the high of love is like coke....even more than.

  • fantastic

  • Wow. What an incredible talk. One of our favourite TED talks ever.

  • That was BRILLIANT! And by the way shes a scientist not a politician. She doesnt tneed to perfect her bloody speaking skills.

  • This lady had passion,but needs to be a more interesting speaker.

  • The spit noises that her mouth makes are awful. I know it's kinda OCD, but it's super fucking irritating. I want to skin her face.

    Also I'm quitting smoking. Maybe that has something to do with it.

  • Love is definitely an addiction.  FACT

  • That was really interesting at the end about how women face each other while men sit side by side.

  • I just consider love another meme, completely unsympathetic of what it may do to it's host.