No one understands my illness, everyone keeps saying when are you gunna get a girlfriend but its hard when i dont know how im gunna feel one day to the next! Alot of guys are judged by there masculinity bit hard to do when feel like crap!!!
always have to bring up the illness as a 3rd family member as you said. So where do we go from now? I don't really see a chance of anyone sticking through it with me besides my guitar. Too bad southern california girls can't understand what you do. Thanks for posting this. It's really refreshing. I've been doing the opposite these days because the doctors can't figure out exactly whats happening. So since i don't have cancer stamped to my forehead, people don't understand and i just don't talk
You hit it dead on. I got sick when i was 13 also and had to drop out of school and everything. I'm the most outgoing balls to the wall person i know and you're right, the most frustrating thing is feeling that you are not yourself and knowing that people are thinking that is just how you are even though if you could you would be doing such better things. Having to incorporate "can't" into my vocabulary sucks. It's been 7 years now, I've also basically given up on trying to find someone since I
This was very comforting to watch, thanks. I've been suffering with panic disorder for six years now, since I was nineteen, and it's been extremely hard dating living with this condition; it's definitely had a huge impact on the three relationships I've been in. I find, especially as a male, that it's much harder to date having an illness because the majority of women, moreso than men wanting in women, want someone who has a good job, bright future, drives, etc. and I don't have any of those.
@TheSomberStar Sorry to hear you've been dealing with a chronic condition too. I can definitely see how it would be although very similar, in some ways different being a male in this position. I think we all just need to trust that there are people out there that will love us for us, no matter what we can/can't do or have/do not have. stay strong!
This is an amazing video. I find your words so very true.I am so sorry you have had this for your entire dating history, but you have a great fighting spirit
Many thanks for this video! I needed to hear all of it. I suffer from a chronic illness and am starting to date and am struggling with how and when to tell someone about my illness.
What you said about how people w/ chronic illness appreciate Life more is so true too! I think one of the reasons my beloved & I are so close is because we don't take our love for granted. We've both suffered too much in the past. Also, I do think one should be up front about their illness from the beginning. I've tried hiding it in the past & my boyfriend at the time felt lied to/betrayed when he found out. Be well, sweet spirit! Xoxox
Thank you for your bravery & efforts to educate & advocate by sharing your Journey! You are a blessing! This is such an important topic. I LOVED the annoying family member analogy! So true! You are right; finding love IS possible! I didn't meet my soul mate until I was 29, but it was so worth the weight! He has medical issues too so he was not scared away. :)
Great video. I'm a 51 years old single man. I too have an autoimmuned disorder and am looking for a mate. My illness isn't disabling by any means. I too am experiencing the difficulty in finding a mate that understands what I'm going through. Your message was very inspiring. I sure wouldn't rule you out as potential date or mate. You're a very intelligent and attractive girl. Good luck to you and thank for the inspiration!
I've been with my boyfriend for over 5 years and he has been so surpptive and he understands everything he always knows how to handle a situation he can just look at me and see if i need help or not which is really good, he also congratulates me when I do alright and do more then I can which gives me strength because it shows me that maybe I am getting better but in reality it is just a good day followed by a really bad day. xx
I can relate. Gulf war illness from toxic NBC nuclear, biological, chemical, vaccine a, dental amalgams, dental cavitations from dds dr gloom wisdom teeth extractions.
Ive never heard of pots before and would add that to our list.
when the geiger counter went through the ranks, they asked me in complete astonishment "how are you alive, what to speak standing here!?"
Hi Rad, Don't worry, you have so much going for you, that your illness will not matter when the right guy comes along. You are beautiful, talented, smart, and seem to have a great outlook on life, so any guy that knows what is important in life will not be concerned about your one problem. He will want to give you his strength to help you through the rough times. Too many people don't understand what is important till it's too late, but you seem to have it figured out!
Hi Radlikemad i'm a guy 24 and i live in Australia i've been suffering CFS on and off for the past 8 years now (not fun at all) months of energy then months of no-energy. I've found dating hard seen as because just to even get out and meet and have a decent conversation with someone is exhausting. Having to stick to plans to go out or meet up is out of the question cause you just don't know how you are going to feel on the day. Thanks for the vids nice to know i'm not the only one in the world x
I have a severe panic disorder and I have lost some friends and some girlfriends over my illness. My heart races all the time and I always have head pressure. The only time where I feel almost normal is when I am medicated on klonopin. Sometimes I feel like my heart is so fragile, it just skyrockets with very little movement. Most of the time I am afraid to go out places because I cant just lay down anywhere you know and that is the only time I feel best is when I am in bed.
@dmbfan07cb have you been tested for POTS? some of what your saying sounds very similar to it and a lot of us are misdiagnosed with anxiety/depression since so few doctors actually know about POTS
@radlikemad I have never been tested but I don't -think- that is what it is... Since klonopin wouldn't stop pots symptoms, would it? when i am on that medication I can stand for hours with a heart rate in the 70's.... but who knows.. maybe i am wrong.. i don't have med insurance so i am out of luck for expensive tests :(
I started to get into a serious relationship with a guy while i had POTS... I am probably a very rare case, but it actually helped me tremendously. We had known eachother for quite a while, and he was very understanding. I am completly POTS free five months later and I think that definatly had something to do with the healing process. Of course when the relationship ends, there is severe depression =/ but we must fight on =]
Dating for me with my chronic illnesses has been challenging and I have had a really hard time meeting people. But I have found that once I stopped looking, I found someone. My boyfriend that I've been with for just over a year now is so supportive and my chronic illnesses haven't been as much of a negative factor in the relationship as I might have thought it would be. In fact, my positive. attitude about my illnesses was one of the things he found really attractive about me at first.
It's hard when you're getting to know someone and they don't know the real you, all they see is your limitations. Men and their hormones, it's so difficult you can't give them what they want, they think it's because you're a prude, but they don't know the real you. When I couldn't work anymore, I lost most of the friends who knew the real me. When you meet someone their first questions were, so, where to you work, where do you live, are you going to school? No answer, conversation ended...
my boyfriend is really great. im bipolar and some days im just hibernating in bed, or im like a maniac, over-excited, and sometimes i get upset for no reason, sometimes i spend all day telling him i hate him, but he knows i dont, and he just takes it all in his stride, he knows what to do with each mood and im just so greatful for his patience :)
this is a really grate video. Last December i met a girl that had POTS, and it took a while to understand. *The best as i could* I know its hard and i wont fully understand.
and she does the whole "not good enough thing" to me alot, so im glad u voiced that "u are good enough" because its true. =]
@DannyBoyRME so good to know that there are guys out there that are patient and strong enough to deal with something like this with us :) congrats on your one year :)
Shannon. I LOVE this video and I LOVE you! Gosh, thank you so much for bringing up the "never good enough" aspect of being sick...it's definitely what I feel. And there's so much guilt involved for me too, with bringing someone into my difficult, crazy life.
Just thinking ,imagine you really fall for a guy and he has an illness-would that really stop you? No, really would that stop you from wanting to be his gf?
i got ill when i was approaching 17 so i'd had a few boyfriends as a healthy/capable person. what i've found most difficult with dating since then is that no matter how much you like eachother, how much they say they understand, they just can't fully grasp how hard it is to live with something which dictates your actions like an illness does. letting people down all the time is horrible for me AND them & i always feel racked with guilt/anxiety about it. we need men with the patience of saints :)
@monogirl3 I definitely agree. I learned early on that NO healthy person, boyfriend, friend, or family member, will be able to completely understand. But it still can be frustrating when something that seems so obvious to you, they don't get... I know what you mean about letting people down too, I hate it :(
@monogirl3 Not just men, but people with patience and compassion... those people are hard to find. Trust me, I know how the guilt and anxiousness feels, right now I'm trying to date someone I don't really know and its hard to make plans because this past week I haven't been feeling well... but I'm going to keep trying. Compromise with your illness, with life, its gotten easier to handle for myself... I'll keep going!
thank you so much, this video was amazing! explains it perfectly!!
innerbeauty1000 1 month ago
No one understands my illness, everyone keeps saying when are you gunna get a girlfriend but its hard when i dont know how im gunna feel one day to the next! Alot of guys are judged by there masculinity bit hard to do when feel like crap!!!
LucaBlightBadass 2 months ago
about it anymore. By the way, this is the first video i've ever commented on on youtube.
willbonsey 2 months ago
always have to bring up the illness as a 3rd family member as you said. So where do we go from now? I don't really see a chance of anyone sticking through it with me besides my guitar. Too bad southern california girls can't understand what you do. Thanks for posting this. It's really refreshing. I've been doing the opposite these days because the doctors can't figure out exactly whats happening. So since i don't have cancer stamped to my forehead, people don't understand and i just don't talk
willbonsey 2 months ago
You hit it dead on. I got sick when i was 13 also and had to drop out of school and everything. I'm the most outgoing balls to the wall person i know and you're right, the most frustrating thing is feeling that you are not yourself and knowing that people are thinking that is just how you are even though if you could you would be doing such better things. Having to incorporate "can't" into my vocabulary sucks. It's been 7 years now, I've also basically given up on trying to find someone since I
willbonsey 2 months ago
This was very comforting to watch, thanks. I've been suffering with panic disorder for six years now, since I was nineteen, and it's been extremely hard dating living with this condition; it's definitely had a huge impact on the three relationships I've been in. I find, especially as a male, that it's much harder to date having an illness because the majority of women, moreso than men wanting in women, want someone who has a good job, bright future, drives, etc. and I don't have any of those.
TheSomberStar 2 months ago
@TheSomberStar Sorry to hear you've been dealing with a chronic condition too. I can definitely see how it would be although very similar, in some ways different being a male in this position. I think we all just need to trust that there are people out there that will love us for us, no matter what we can/can't do or have/do not have. stay strong!
radlikemad 2 months ago
This is an amazing video. I find your words so very true.I am so sorry you have had this for your entire dating history, but you have a great fighting spirit
jessical1969 2 months ago
Many thanks for this video! I needed to hear all of it. I suffer from a chronic illness and am starting to date and am struggling with how and when to tell someone about my illness.
sckuykendall1234 3 months ago
ive been solo for 5yrs and i have to admit to feeling better that way but most people dont share my view admittedly
UnionMetalhead 4 months ago
LOL! Oops! Meant It was worth the *wait*, not weight! Doh! :S
SheWhoFeels 4 months ago
What you said about how people w/ chronic illness appreciate Life more is so true too! I think one of the reasons my beloved & I are so close is because we don't take our love for granted. We've both suffered too much in the past. Also, I do think one should be up front about their illness from the beginning. I've tried hiding it in the past & my boyfriend at the time felt lied to/betrayed when he found out. Be well, sweet spirit! Xoxox
SheWhoFeels 4 months ago
Thank you for your bravery & efforts to educate & advocate by sharing your Journey! You are a blessing! This is such an important topic. I LOVED the annoying family member analogy! So true! You are right; finding love IS possible! I didn't meet my soul mate until I was 29, but it was so worth the weight! He has medical issues too so he was not scared away. :)
SheWhoFeels 4 months ago
Great video. I'm a 51 years old single man. I too have an autoimmuned disorder and am looking for a mate. My illness isn't disabling by any means. I too am experiencing the difficulty in finding a mate that understands what I'm going through. Your message was very inspiring. I sure wouldn't rule you out as potential date or mate. You're a very intelligent and attractive girl. Good luck to you and thank for the inspiration!
hotathlete2 6 months ago
You think and feel exactly how I do
ohhayyitsmelyssa 10 months ago
I've been with my boyfriend for over 5 years and he has been so surpptive and he understands everything he always knows how to handle a situation he can just look at me and see if i need help or not which is really good, he also congratulates me when I do alright and do more then I can which gives me strength because it shows me that maybe I am getting better but in reality it is just a good day followed by a really bad day. xx
unusualkate 11 months ago
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charukrsnadasa 11 months ago
I can relate. Gulf war illness from toxic NBC nuclear, biological, chemical, vaccine a, dental amalgams, dental cavitations from dds dr gloom wisdom teeth extractions.
Ive never heard of pots before and would add that to our list.
when the geiger counter went through the ranks, they asked me in complete astonishment "how are you alive, what to speak standing here!?"
Lookin back I have to say living on a prayer.
charukrsnadasa 11 months ago
holy moly comments, popular topic
..."like an annoying family member" haha good one
SharkBateNait 1 year ago
very nice video :)
thanks for the encouragement Shan
SharkBateNait 1 year ago
Hi Rad, Don't worry, you have so much going for you, that your illness will not matter when the right guy comes along. You are beautiful, talented, smart, and seem to have a great outlook on life, so any guy that knows what is important in life will not be concerned about your one problem. He will want to give you his strength to help you through the rough times. Too many people don't understand what is important till it's too late, but you seem to have it figured out!
goes2fast 1 year ago
Hi Radlikemad i'm a guy 24 and i live in Australia i've been suffering CFS on and off for the past 8 years now (not fun at all) months of energy then months of no-energy. I've found dating hard seen as because just to even get out and meet and have a decent conversation with someone is exhausting. Having to stick to plans to go out or meet up is out of the question cause you just don't know how you are going to feel on the day. Thanks for the vids nice to know i'm not the only one in the world x
69copeyj 1 year ago
I have a severe panic disorder and I have lost some friends and some girlfriends over my illness. My heart races all the time and I always have head pressure. The only time where I feel almost normal is when I am medicated on klonopin. Sometimes I feel like my heart is so fragile, it just skyrockets with very little movement. Most of the time I am afraid to go out places because I cant just lay down anywhere you know and that is the only time I feel best is when I am in bed.
dmbfan07cb 1 year ago
@dmbfan07cb have you been tested for POTS? some of what your saying sounds very similar to it and a lot of us are misdiagnosed with anxiety/depression since so few doctors actually know about POTS
radlikemad 1 year ago
@radlikemad I have never been tested but I don't -think- that is what it is... Since klonopin wouldn't stop pots symptoms, would it? when i am on that medication I can stand for hours with a heart rate in the 70's.... but who knows.. maybe i am wrong.. i don't have med insurance so i am out of luck for expensive tests :(
dmbfan07cb 1 year ago
I started to get into a serious relationship with a guy while i had POTS... I am probably a very rare case, but it actually helped me tremendously. We had known eachother for quite a while, and he was very understanding. I am completly POTS free five months later and I think that definatly had something to do with the healing process. Of course when the relationship ends, there is severe depression =/ but we must fight on =]
bbthecrazeechika 1 year ago
Dating for me with my chronic illnesses has been challenging and I have had a really hard time meeting people. But I have found that once I stopped looking, I found someone. My boyfriend that I've been with for just over a year now is so supportive and my chronic illnesses haven't been as much of a negative factor in the relationship as I might have thought it would be. In fact, my positive. attitude about my illnesses was one of the things he found really attractive about me at first.
penguini1982 1 year ago
It's hard when you're getting to know someone and they don't know the real you, all they see is your limitations. Men and their hormones, it's so difficult you can't give them what they want, they think it's because you're a prude, but they don't know the real you. When I couldn't work anymore, I lost most of the friends who knew the real me. When you meet someone their first questions were, so, where to you work, where do you live, are you going to school? No answer, conversation ended...
drgn420 1 year ago
my boyfriend is really great. im bipolar and some days im just hibernating in bed, or im like a maniac, over-excited, and sometimes i get upset for no reason, sometimes i spend all day telling him i hate him, but he knows i dont, and he just takes it all in his stride, he knows what to do with each mood and im just so greatful for his patience :)
daisypoojo100 1 year ago
@daisypoojo100 so glad you found someone that deals with it so well :) xxo
radlikemad 1 year ago
this is a really grate video. Last December i met a girl that had POTS, and it took a while to understand. *The best as i could* I know its hard and i wont fully understand.
and she does the whole "not good enough thing" to me alot, so im glad u voiced that "u are good enough" because its true. =]
On December 26th it will be 1 Year for us.
i Love that girl and i plan on marrying Her,
Nothing will ever change my mind. (:
Thanks for the video
DannyBoyRME 1 year ago 2
@DannyBoyRME so good to know that there are guys out there that are patient and strong enough to deal with something like this with us :) congrats on your one year :)
radlikemad 1 year ago
brilliant video Shan!
GustaMapache 1 year ago
@GustaMapache thanks girl xxo
radlikemad 1 year ago
Shannon. I LOVE this video and I LOVE you! Gosh, thank you so much for bringing up the "never good enough" aspect of being sick...it's definitely what I feel. And there's so much guilt involved for me too, with bringing someone into my difficult, crazy life.
ChanShelly 1 year ago
@ChanShelly thank you so much girl xo
radlikemad 1 year ago
Just thinking ,imagine you really fall for a guy and he has an illness-would that really stop you? No, really would that stop you from wanting to be his gf?
potsinfo 1 year ago
@potsinfo good way to look at it :)
radlikemad 1 year ago
You seem like a great girl and I'm sure you'll find a great guy soon enough. Never settle.
papabear12 1 year ago
@papabear12 thank you!
radlikemad 1 year ago
good vid shannypoo
JoelDubyah89 1 year ago
@JoelDubyah89 oh sanks
radlikemad 1 year ago
i got ill when i was approaching 17 so i'd had a few boyfriends as a healthy/capable person. what i've found most difficult with dating since then is that no matter how much you like eachother, how much they say they understand, they just can't fully grasp how hard it is to live with something which dictates your actions like an illness does. letting people down all the time is horrible for me AND them & i always feel racked with guilt/anxiety about it. we need men with the patience of saints :)
monogirl3 1 year ago 2
@monogirl3 I definitely agree. I learned early on that NO healthy person, boyfriend, friend, or family member, will be able to completely understand. But it still can be frustrating when something that seems so obvious to you, they don't get... I know what you mean about letting people down too, I hate it :(
ChanShelly 1 year ago
@monogirl3 very true!
radlikemad 1 year ago
@monogirl3 Not just men, but people with patience and compassion... those people are hard to find. Trust me, I know how the guilt and anxiousness feels, right now I'm trying to date someone I don't really know and its hard to make plans because this past week I haven't been feeling well... but I'm going to keep trying. Compromise with your illness, with life, its gotten easier to handle for myself... I'll keep going!
thevioletdragon 9 months ago