Orthorexia Nervosa Part 2: A dialouge with disease

[doucheriders]

Harley is that you?

[101101101777]

@ 2:34 - and 2:52 - :57 I lost many braincells

[101101101777]

@ 2:42 XD It's good, because it's raw. we only eat stuff that is raw. (<<not raw-.-)

[101101101777]

But wait a minute, your like look at my packaged processed "organic" "raw" foodbar. I'm sorry that just looked more like an advertisement. um, usda stamped. OK and this hasn't been pressed with additives and/or heated?

Then your description of poisons in the food (only one part of the problem) is so inaccurate, like huh? A snake bite that flows in you and rots your insides?? Do I detect levels of Spin here??

[101101101777]

Raw 100& is not the way to go.

1. You need to eat MORE. Quantity, calories, more.

2. 85% Raw, 15% partially steamed/boiled--beans are good, they require cooking. Some veggies like roots can be sliced and partially steamed. Most greens can be raw, but some like broccoli will give you some wicked gas if you don't steam it just a bit.

3. Sitting down for a full, LARGE meal, even vegan, is good, and a little hot food makes for a more fulfilling, pleasant, lasting feeling of fullness.

[FYIYani]

How can I get in contact with you? I need to talk more, you understand how I feel.

[topformfitness]

I agree with your orthorexic personality. If only Mr.Orthorexia could lay the smack down on your anorexic and bulimic personalities, I think you'd be doing alot better. I do understand that even healthy tendencies can be a problem if you become overly obsessive and stressed about it, but after reading the description of Orthorexia I can't help but think it's less of a disorder and more of a reaction to what Monsanto and the fast food industry is cramming down our throats.

[xsliceofheavenx]

I dont like it when people prepare my food, I like washing my own fruit and veggies, because if someone else does it, I think that they didnt clean it properly, and its still dirty or something. I wont eat it. Id feel disgusted

[horsewoman82]

I use to be so obsessed with healthy food and think I used to have orthorexia.

I have been a perfection seeker since childhood and am extermely sensitive. I feel this may contribute somehow to this disorder.

You are a very intelligent person and i think you are really opening up peoples eyes.

I think its great that you are sharing your battles with this disorder. Very brave of you. you have a very kind heart and thats all that matters :-)

[DianneIsSnazzy]

This was a beautiful video. I wish I could do it with my hoarding and my OCD.

[N350KA]

It takes alot of courage to make a video like this and put it on the internet--I think you're really cool for doing it.

[AlyRed27]

i never heard of orthorexia before.. i commend you on your bravery to let us inside of your head. it makes complete sense. and it makes no sense at the same time. we all die one day..why be scared of food? should i not leave the house because i could get hit by a car? ..not casting judgement at all..

[ty99999returns]

Look, I have totally been there the health think. I eat unorganic now. I had to feel like shit till I switched to anything. you need saturated fat to live. and fatty acids. I now need to get my appetite back. I take BOOST (nutrition drink) and I take some of those a day more then the company wants me to but please do not take too much or your iron levels may go too high and you get iron poisoning.

What was the refeeding like? (last video) a feeding tube?

[dayamsta]

im very glad you posted this. its a very important thing to do i feel. i do it often and also within my work. love you xx

[xGobbinsx]

Very interesting, upsetting and an eye opener. I need to sort my life out...

take care x

[sweetelesue]

Choosing to eat healthy food is not a disorder. Choosing to purge or to abstain from food completely until you waste away IS a disorder.

[MyOwnStickFigure]

Obviously.

[sweetelesue]

Obviously? Hardly. People are now being demonized for choosing to eat healthy. If you choose the salad over the fried chicken, and someone thinks you are crazy for making that choice, then something is wrong with THEM not you. This is why I have a problem with the label 'orthorexia nrevosa'. If you refuse the salad AND the chicken, and choose to starve, then I'd have to say a disorder is likely.

[MyOwnStickFigure]

Trust me, I understand dear. I have put much thought and enegy into trying to understand this term and disease since making this video, even went on national tv new to discuss it but they twisted things around. Eating healthy is not the problem. Orthorexia is a complex, confusing and controversial term... and should be used very loosely unless the case is extreme. If you want to read more of my thoughts/theories I have a document on this topic on my website...

[spekgirl1]

@sweetelesue yes i think that he knows that.

[middy444]

@sweetelesue I think that is quite clear. Anything in excess is bad for you, and that includes an obsession with healthy food.

[roliasemina]

My thing is how people look absolutely disgusting eating fattening foods like potato chips, look like gluttons.

[SolaceInShadow]

Maybe you've been healthy for so long you no longer have any basis for comparison.

Try switching to a fast food, processed, chemical diet for a few months and notice how completely horrible you feel; notice how completely erratic and diseased and depressed your thoughts become; notice how you have constant internal and external pain, both physical and mental.

Then you will realize your "Orthorexia" side is correct...just a little self-righteous and takes things to the extreme.

[MyOwnStickFigure]

You know this is very complex to understand. However, this has nothing to do with the food - it's where one is at mentally and I have highly come to believe that people who aren't conscious of how they eat at the ones who need the most help. Many people were disappointed with the outcome of the ABC document - we got SET up. I would NOT of gone on there if I knew it would turn out like that. yes, anything can turn obsessive but I deal with other issues that causes this not raw food. It's saved me

[tfrenn]

@MyOwnStickFigure your right people should enjoy eating their MSG, sodium nitrate, high fructuse corn syrup and all the other disgusting crap that is put into our foods...tell me why people in Japan live an average of 20 years longer than Americans..tell me why Native Americans lived longer hundreds of years ago...people in our society are brainwashed by commercialism and consumerism, a society that is healthy is not profitable for Big Drug companies

[WiccanEarthAngel]

This video makes me think of my own in-head voices. I have part of me that's obsessed with "health", 'she' just isn't in control yet. I hope she never is...

[lalalaAli]

excellent job, thank you for that, can't have been easy xx

[vP90x2009v]

Not only are you able to express your feelings with the dialouge - your able to do it in front of the camera. I'm amazed. Very well done.

[hberry567]

I know how some people could see this as being weird. But every one has this inner dialog. I know I do. I think some people are very tuned into it. Wich can be a big blessing, and a cruse if it gets out of hand.

[sosouldriven]

Today Makes 1 year since I have B/P....I watched this vid and I ate some chicken nugges from none other than McDonalds I kept watching and I could feel it rising in my throat but I watched and stayed strong. Well sort of. I got on the scale 4 times before I went to bed......UGH.... :(

[sarahsmile86]

Ur orthorexic voice I can completely & utterly relate to and see how much my internal voice is like urs. It's scary how this voice seems so innocent, helpful and practical at first, until it starts hounding on u over every piece of food=/ My orthorexia manifested into anorexia, as I basically cut out all food except veggies, fruits & raw nuts. After that bulimia came in. I'm in the same boat as u.

Raw food bars are awesome btw=) Love ur videos, u are an incredibly strong person I hope u know!

[NapsAboveWaterfalls]

Gardening saves my life everyday!

The way we nurture our food is how we nurture ourselves. Even just saying, "Yo! Thanks for bein here food!" ...if gardening's not your thing

[CatholicChurchTruth]

"Eating cooked foods destroys the nutrients. It becomes dead food"

Is that why certain fruits and vegetables, such as Tomatoes and Zucchini when cooked have been proven to have more nutrients and enzymes than when eaten raw?

[MyOwnStickFigure]

That has to do with only a few nutrients in those 2 foods. You can learn more about nutrition and find out the science of food. I have studied nutrition and this is where I get my information from, facts.

[xxanaselfdestructxx]

I have different voices too. I call them Anorexic Lauren, Bulimic Lauren, Obsessive (orthorexic) Lauren, Child Lauren (this one hurts the most), and Therapist Lauren (kinda like I'm talking to a therapist in my own mind)

I'm just a whole screwed up world within my own mind. I think a lot like you do- like the orthorexic voice talking about how the world is going to shit and obsessing about losing nutrients in 'dead' (cooked) food, etc.

Thank you so so so much for your honesty in your videos :)

[silverlom60]

maybe it would be good for you to get out and volunter with kids or the elderly, perhaps if you did not have time to worry about food and all that may be wrong with it, you will feel better and maybe eat more. I hope you get well and live.

[MyOwnStickFigure]

Thank you, I have done a ton of volunteer work... animals, kids, homeless - cooking and serving food ... food bank work... food distrubtion... the Ronald McDonald house, etc. It's a wonderful experience

[silverlom60]

you just seem like a very kind person. i think its why you are doing these videos, but you also need to take care of you. a friend once told me that the body learns to deal with a lot of the crap in food, like kids who are never allowed to get dirty, their system never learns to handle anything, and they are not healthy. maybe a little bit of imperfection is actually a good thing, if you want one hundred percent perfect food you may never find it, or get better. i hope you get over this ok

[xxanaselfdestructxx]

"you just seem like a very kind person. i think its why you are doing these videos, but you also need to take care of you." i think Johnny may be kinda like me- helping others helps me. i don't get self-esteem from helping myself, i get it from helping others, whether it's being a therapist for my friends or volunteering at my local hospital. i can look at myself in the mirror and almost see the person i want to see.

[jdpasino]

thank you so much for sharing all of this with us...i think it's very brave of you johnny...i just found your site through felicia's site...i don't suffer with any eating disorders, but i do suffer with alcoholism and an addiction to cutting even though i haven't cut in 7 months,but anyway the point i'm trying to make is i still have the same voice...sorry for rambling and i can't wait to watch the rest of your videos..

[healingstate]

I just want to say thank you for sharing all of this. thank you and bless you.

[healingstate]

I never thought that anyone else could be going through this. this video shocked the hell out of me because its what I go through everyday of my life. at this point i'm 8 months pregnant and just starting therapy, not for orthorexia but for bulimia. I never new there was a name for what I went through, but I too am a raw foodist, but I still binge and purge unraw food. I go through periods of time where I dont binge and purge, but become completely obssessed with cleansing my body.

[pumpuriukas]

oh... i just watched you photography art at your website. i've seen lots of sad, cruel and explicit stuff, but VISION photoes touched me deep.. love, my heart is with you.

[GLBTQcommunity]

one thing that helped me alot when I was dealing with my emetophobia (fear of vomiting) was naming my anxiety. I named him bill. Maybe that would help you, naming your EDs

[MyOwnStickFigure]

Well I do seperate myself from them and just name them as their disease, dealing with three. I am fully aware of emetophobia and emetophilia (vomit fetish). Hope you are doing well with it now?

[307point1]

interesting vid. your very explainitory but yes triggering

thanx

[shannonshambles]

P.S. Does dehydrating food at a temperature below 116 degrees destroy the nutrients?

[MyOwnStickFigure]

Hi, feel free to message me. We have a lot to talk about. To answer your question, no. Heating OVER 116 kills nutrients, under is fine which is why things are always dehydrated at or below that.

[shannonshambles]

Recently a friend of mine who has struggled with eating disorders since she was twelve, diagnosed me with orthorexia.

A lot of the things that you said go through my head every day. The trouble I'm facing is that part of me doesn't want to get better. I'm losing friendships and becoming bitter, and I hate that. I want to be able to go to a restaurant with my family, and actually eat something. The other part of me tells me that if I quit eating raw and unprocessed I'll be diseased and obese.

[Angitia39]

never count calories, I so understand where you are comming from. I was once bullemic in my teens weighed 92 lbs. But now and yes now I am a bbw NOT OBESE .But very healthy. I portion food and ok I have a sweet tooth and sometimes love chips. But I dont not and I mean do not benge or take more then is needed.. Beacause of being in a wheelchair. But I do exercise, drink tons of water and love veggies and fruits meat not to much never liked it. I am now a 170 lbs,

[1earlyAM]

You Are Awesome!

[ceruleanmagenta]

first let me say that you are an amazing individual, 100% adorable. i love how you made a dialogue between the eating disorder and you. not only was it very revealing and inspiring, but it made me giggle at certain points just b/c it was kinda cute too. another rating of 5 sparkly stars for you!

[stana86]

Wow, ortho, you really kicked out mia in me with what you said at the end

[TardiveDyskinesiac]

Are you going to spend the rest of your life being the smaller fish. Or are you going to start being happy because any day now a shark can eat any one of us.

[MyOwnStickFigure]

I'm doing what I can do be it in my position or else I wouldn't be here.

[TardiveDyskinesiac]

Lifestyle has everything to do with health. A person is not fat cause they eat all day. They are fat cause they do nothing else. There are champion competitive eaters, that have a fit lean body. Like the guy from Tokyo. He fills his stomach to the brim, but his lifestyle is why he is healthy and muscular. So everything you just said is a myth.

[MyOwnStickFigure]

I am not sure what on earth your point is but I do know that there is scientific data/medical research to back up a majority of what I've said. And I didn't use the F word so where on earth did that come from?

[TardiveDyskinesiac]

There would be no weight issues (whether fat, anorexic) without misconceptions about food. A fat person struggling to lose weight faces the same misconceptions that you do!! I would say that 5% is emotional. And 95% is self-unawareness regarding the human body.

[MyOwnStickFigure]

Well there are diseases that cause weight problems: diabetes, complusive over eating, binge eating disorders, thyroid problems - sometimes obesity is genetic. You are right, nutrition does play a major factor in weight but sometimes there is much more to the story then what people thing is someone being uneducated or "lazy with eating" Interesting topic!

[TardiveDyskinesiac]

I guess what I meant to say is if you eat whatever you want, you will not have any weight issues. The only reason someone with thyroid problems may be overweight is cause they sleep too much. A person that overeats, like the guy who was stuck in his house: he didn't move all day long. If you are too active, or not active that is what has the effect on your body. Body builders eat thousands of calories and they have very little fat on the body. It is lifestyle not food.

[MyOwnStickFigure]

The types of food people eat play MAJOR effect, that is a scientific factor. Both of my parents were body builders, it is a horrendously obsessive world, most having BIGOREXIA - another eating disorder.

[TardiveDyskinesiac]

I think you should eat a couple big healthy meals a day. Like that salad you made, that looked good. Maybe you can put tofu on top of it. I know in CA there are places that serve insects, they have more protein than steak in a smaller amount.

[MyOwnStickFigure]

I'm a raw foodist so I wouldn't eat tofu or cooked bugs but besides all of that I am in an extremely fragile place physically and refeeding my body outside of a hospital must be done in SMALL amounts. It's very dangerous to refeed a body like this with big meals, your heart could give out as well as many other things - research "refeeding syndrome" for more info - best of luck to you xo

[aavehevonen]

hi, my dad is a body builder and my mom is a bulimic/bed (used to be anorexic) and when I was a child of course it effected me when another family where I lived was concentrating building mass et cetera and another of a shame of eating... Hard to say in few sentences, just saying that both of those world consisted obsessive and also restricting parts and how can anyone grow up normally in those environments..

I think you're amazing and I truly like to watch your videos, thankyou

[unperfectisback]

WOW. This reminds me of the dreams i been having. I stopped eating alot of foods, like anything canned has been banned. I see maggots & bugs in my food and I can't eat any kind of rice anymore either. I might make a video about it.

[MyOwnStickFigure]

I would be very interested in what you have to say about this, or what your ed has to say about this --- this topic in general. As for bugs, they can creep up into boxed foods and survive in there but that takes TIME, when things go stale/old stages - unless someone lives in a bug infested atemosphere, anyhow, I have delt with these thoughts before and they are quite scary.

[ImYourRocsi]

i luv ur rainbow earrings! they're soo adorable! u inspire me in sooo many ways!

[insidethemusicbox11]

kombucha is amazing.

but aside from my random props to your beverage of choice, i really enjoyed this video. thanks for having the strength to post this.

i can relate so much with the voices...

[peppernme]

Orthorexia is so angry... Do each of your eds fight every day, or are there times when parts are at rest? This was very revealing; thank you. About orthorexia's last thought - that it's the only thing keeping you alive... what do you say to that? (I better check part 3, maybe you answer these questions.) Again, very brave Johnny.

[qweengrape]

Thank you so much for having the courage to post this. This has helped me so much. i plan on trying this out for myself.

xxx-ash

[MyOwnStickFigure]

it is by far one of the most productive tools i've ever encountered ... i have been doing it for years with myself and has been extremely helpful in identifying who is thinking what

[MyOwnStickFigure]

it also helps me peel the layers, get to the root of the problem through the voice that is speaking and the content of their conversation

[LucyShy]

That, was PRICELESS!! My God..

I'm smiling for some sick reason - I was drinking milk (I know I know)and I totally choked on it when it was talking about Bulimia. BAHHH HAhahah. OMG it's so horribly horribly TRUE.

Damn.

Fav this!

[MyOwnStickFigure]

oh God just wait till anorexia and bulimia get voices, they are 100 percent worse. sad but true!

[ParkerWashington]

really interesting!!

[MyOwnStickFigure]

just another day in the life of one of my ed minds, oh bother!!!

[shav0nne]

WOW..Some of the things you said about food I constantly think about. With the Organic,raw ect.. and all the poisons in processed food. Counting Calories my god is my demon along with other things...It helps to know that all the thoughts that I've had, others have had as well. You gave such an amazing description of what go's on in the mind of one with an eating disorder.

[MyOwnStickFigure]

hugs, if you ever want someone to talk about it darling, i'm here. i understand the war inside.

[debusentoc4]

wow, I really liked your video! I don't have orthorexia, but it was really intresting to see the mindset of a person who has it.

[MyOwnStickFigure]

thank you, i felt it so important to document the mind of orthorexia since it doesn't have much exposure at this day and age. i'm trying to speak up and reach out here. thanks for the feedback!

[star7066]

i am going to write you a song!!

[MyOwnStickFigure]

wow, i would love that so much!

[star7066]

i am so sorry that you have to go through this struggle it seems like an extremly hard mental state to be in so stay strong sweet heart!!!

[MyOwnStickFigure]

Thank you so much. The only positive thing about going through this is that I am able to reach out to others who also suffer - and possibly provide hope that they are not alone and together we can fight.