Added: 3 years ago
From: maroonedsorrow
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  • Had me crying with laughter :L

    

  • Shit had me in tears! Sean Lock is a genius!

  • He was just showing off his beat boxing skills

  • lol

  • The thing with the bottles of milk is fucking genious.

    ''And they arrest him for wasting police time!'' Just brilliant.

  • @Rei89CH I didn't get that one.

  • @Rei89CH yea i dont get that one either :/ could u enlighten me please

  • @MyCORMAC sure. the 30 bottles of milk make it seem like no one has received them for weeks, alarming worried neighbors into thinking something might be wrong with the old guy living there, i.e he's dead. so they call the police. the police then arrest him because hes wasting their time (they assume hes just being a lazy fucker not collecting his milk, therefore leading people to fear the worst). i hope that mess is understandable :P

  • @MyCORMAC your a legend thanks very much thats a class joke :L

  • Back from the boobs video...

  • "feet first im not a maniac!"

  • OMFG!! I can't stop f*****g laughing!!!

    :L

  • Watched all 3 parts just so i could find the canary and the tea spoon part hahah

  • Killin' a budgie with a teaspoon XD

  • 0:14 he says "my daughters weird, he doesnt swear, he does something much stranger" LOOOL

  • @k1ngm3rkage he said doctor you retard

  • @k1ngm3rkage "doctor's"

  • @cat0027 oh dear lol

  • "Feet first, I'm not a maniac" :')  Oh man that one got me :')

  • Because they would think he was dead you fanny lol

  • i dont get the milk joke? why would police and social service smash his door and arrest him?

  • @indrit9 i didnt get it either i figured it might be a british thing im not so i wouldnt know

  • @indrit9 Think of it as an old man with 45 newspapers scattered across his lawn (from the day when the paper boy just flicked the paper up at your house). If he hasn't collected his newspapers (or milk) for a month, chances are he's in the house, dead, and the police pop in to check on him.

  • that poor imaginary bugeeeeeeee :)

  • I laughed so much at the budgie and grinding wheel my chest hurt:)

  • Much better on 8 out of 10 cats

  • i cried laughing at the imaginary budgie. tears rolling down my cheeks. thank you sean lock XD

  • Sean Lock is my favourite on 8 out of 10 cats, dont think he was that good here though

  • Absolutely fantastic! Would LOVE to see him live!

  • Sheer Genius!

  • Never laughed so haard in my life! I was on the floor crying in laughter and that no joke! That budgie is one of the funniest things that i have heard for ages

  • @joegoult .If he doesnt make you laugh then why watch it.Some people just havent got enough things to whine about in their lives,so they log on to the internet to whine about things there.Go and watch something you do like and save us from your moaning

  • Some people are easily pleased, he was ok but i've seen much better, check out mitch fatel he destroys this guy!

  • or i could him up my arse.....feet first im not a maniac.

  • hahahahahahahahahahahaha

  • hero

  • the budgy joke got me in TEARSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS­!!!

  • Thanks for all the ideas, Sean! Neighbours budgie, here I come!

  • feet first im not a maniac

  • @cat0027 : Then you don't have a sense of humour... i hate anyone who harms an animal but when it's only SUGGESTED in a comedic fashion i can have a good laugh about it. From the ping pong budgie to the grind saw in his arse part i was in tears of laughter. lighten up.

  • @darkpassenger09 Just to be clear, what you're saying is that it's OK to say things, as long as they're just a joke, and no one is actually being harmed. Am I right? I just want to check I've understood you correctly. So presumably then you'd think it was OK to make a joke about a three-year-old child being raped. Because there would be no actual child, no actual rape. If anyone objected, you'd say, 'lighten up'. Have I understood you correctly?

  • @haroldsdodge, are you for real?

    Watch Frankie Boyle. Be prepared.

  • @007hor Yep, I'm for real. I'm asking a simple yes/no question: is it or is it not OK to make jokes on any subject, given that they're "only a joke". My own answer would be "no", but other people would no doubt answer differently. Presumably darkpassenger09, if he/she is being consistent, would say yes. It's a pretty simple question to understand.

  • @haroldsdodge : Yes that is exactly what i'm saying, "Sticks and stones...". If you feel offended by certain jokes then don't watch comedians. I also don't like watching real animals get hurt so i don't watch any of those animal rescue programmes. When it comes to comedy NOTHING should be off limits.

  • @darkpassenger09 OK, well, I have to hand it to you - at least you're consistent. And at least you have the guts to answer a straight question. I don't agree with you (I think everyone should have the freedom to say what they want but the common sense to accept that there are some things that aren't worth saying) but I take my hat off you for having the courage of your convictions.

  • @haroldsdodge : Ok. i guess saying something like this would have no place in a regular conversation but he is a comedian his job is to make them laugh and that's what he did.

  • @haroldsdodge Oh my days, you're clearly a bit tapped in the head, mate. "Killing a budgie/budgie up the arse" etc is a harmless joke, did you not hear how many people laughed and found it funny? Yet you try comparing it to a joke about raping a 3-year old... fucking hell, what on earth goes on in your head? How do you make a "joke" about something like that? You clearly haven't understood ANYTHING correctly here. I think you should stop watching comedy and sort out your strange sense of logic.

  • @Camberwell86 I don't know about "tapped in the head" but I certainly know about logic. It's very simple. Either it's OK to make jokes about any subject (any subject at all) or it is not OK. Which is it? I personally think there are some subjects that are not OK. In fairness to Darkpassenger (who started this conversation), he had the courage to answer the question - he thinks it's OK to make a joke about ANY subject. I don't agree with him but I respect his honesty, and his grasp of logic.

  • @haroldsdodge You ain't getting it, are you?

    "Either it's OK to make jokes about any subject (any subject at all) or it is not OK. Which is it? I personally think there are some subjects that are not OK."

    You just explained it for me. It depends on the subject. Child rape is out of the question, it happens, it's sick, no-one would find it funny. Budgie-up-arse-onto-a-grinding­-wheel has never happened in history, it's an amusing concept, the whole of the Apollo found it hilarious. Fuck off. ~_~

  • @Camberwell86 I particularly liked the last bit of your post, where you basically admit that you can't have a conversation without resorting to childish insults. But anyway, at least you've now answered the question. You think that some subjects ARE off limits for comedy. I agree with you, and if you read the thread you'll find that's what I've been saying all along. Pretty simple really.

  • @haroldsdodge a) "Fuck off" is not a childish insult. If I called you a "dirty nonce," that would be.

    b) I quote: "Either it's OK to make jokes about any subject (any subject at all) or it is not OK. Which is it?" - you haven't been saying that certain stuff is out-of-bounds, it's all or nothing according to you, it's either black-and-white, not grey. You've been saying a joke about harming a budgie gives any other comedian licence to make jokes about raping children. Read back what you said.

  • @Camberwell86 a) Full marks for nit-picking. Saying "fuck off" when you're trying to demonstrate your grasp of logic is, as you correctly say, not a childish insult. It's just childish.

    b) Not such high marks for comprehension. I didn't say anyone had a licence to say anything. I said the opposite. It was an earlier poster who said NOTHING should be off limits, whereas I think some subjects should be. (A view you seem to agree with). Like I say: not such a difficult concept to understand.

  • @Camberwell86 PS If it helps, I can explain your confusion. You interpret "either it's OK to make jokes about any subject or it's not OK" as meaning, "either (a) you can make jokes about any subject or (b) you can't make any jokes at all". Wrong. Since you know all about logic you presumably know that's an example of a fallacy called "affirming the consequent". Either way, I'll rephrase it so it's simpler for you: "either you do or you do not agree that it's OK to make jokes about any subject".

  • am i the only one to notice he said "My daughters weird, whenever i go to see HIM"and continues to use HIM?

  • @Shockography

    my doctors... not my daughters?

  • Hahaha, that was great!

  • feet first, i'm not a maniac!

  • great but went on way too long about the budgie completely unfunny towards the end

  • @cat0027 I completely agree with you. But it turns out a lot of fuckers who are into animal cruelty jokes don't agree.

  • @seattle0002 Oh come on! The budgie thing was clearly the most brilliant thing I've ever heard :') I love animals, but jokes don't hurt any of them. It was funny. Of course you wouldn't laugh if there was an actual budgie, but there isn't, so why does it matter?

  • Became rather unfunny after a while.

  • @seattle0002 you must have a weak sense of humour.

  • @cat0027 lol..... bit much its just a joke and you imagine what you want to imagine..... like if i said something and it wasnt meant to be a offensive, but you said it was, i would say "you heard what you wanted to here"

  • if your doctor starts using words like bellend leave! hes class.

    

  • the teaspoon was hilarious, but after that it was a bit much.

  • @cat0027 @cat0027

    That's your opinion, and your welcome to it, but I thought that was the funniest bit of the routine

    P.S. Why would you wrap a hamster in sellotape? So it doesn't split open when you fuck it up the arse.

  • Comment removed

  • @cat0027 rofl its fking hilarious

  • hafe a bloody bird up his arse

  • and then i would...reverse into a powerfull stone grinding wheel...so funny XD

  • Or I could stick him up my arse.. Feet first im not a maniac :D funniest line ever spoken :L

  • when it comes to budgies he is a very sycotic man.... i love it!!!!

  • @LuckyLuLu1125 psycotic ;)

  • Takes aaaaaagggeess hahaha

  • Where's the 'killing a pig with a hammer' joke?

  • @drbuk96 i think its at the end of part 1

  • "feet first, I'm not a maniac!"

  • A budgie is a small parrot

  • I thought he was talking about a pet badger, not a budgie.

    So much for British nomenclature.

  • i loved how he started saying stuff like "what i do is i go and kill his budgie with a teaspoon"

    like it was a regular occurrence, like it happened every week or something.

    HA, i love him <3 xx

  • This man should definitely not be allowed a budgie!

  • seen him live a few times. Much better when it's not being filmed.

  • Sean Lock is so funny. Cant believe the guy in the audience @ 0.12secs he looks so bored!

  • Sean is still a largely underrated master of surrealism - easily the equal of his mates Bailey and Izzard.

  • @joegoult heres am idea you dont like him dont click on his videos just to complain

  • 24 people own budgies.

  • @joegoult He doesn't make you laugh, OK. That doesn't mean he's not funny.

    So why is he so popular? Bit of a mystery, that.

  • @Bouncybon Why is Britney Spears popular? Because most people are morons.

    McIntyre caters to fecking idiots. About as funny as Alan Carr

  • Sean Lock is my joint first favourite comedienne. Joint with jimmy carr

  • @EatMyTrousers Comedienne? He's not a real transsexual.

  • *random quote from relative video*

  • Eventually somethings gunna give...it ain't gunna be the vice.

  • "feet first" rofl, nice sean!

  • @joegoult a lot of people would disagree with you there.....me for one

  • I guess I just felt that if they'd thought he might be dead it wouldn't be anything to do with social services, that's all.

  • 1. Lee Evans

    2. Sean Lock

    3. Micheal McIntrye

  • @Midnightninja123 1. lee mack 2. sean lock 3. stewart francis

    michael macintyre used to be in my top 3, then i realised he just points out obvious observations and dances around the stage like a bit of a noncee

  • Funniest man in the world, apart from Stewart Lee ;)

    He's wasted on that shit with Jimmy Carr and the bloke off the One Show.

    Everyone who likes this, and hasn't already, watch 15 Storeys High.

    It might change your life...

  • Funniest man in the world, apart from Stewart Lee ;)

  • falls over like an empty kinder egg....haha i was in stitches then

  • Great stuff.... I've met him :o)

  • never tried the reverse budgie position

  • teaspoon, what a legend!

  • I always thought the milk thing was because it implied he had a lot of children hidden in his flat, ie he was a paedophile so the police and social services would be called

  • @maltesercat

    how did get to the idea of him having kids in the house? its simply that the milk not being collected suggests that the person is dead or whatever

  • @maltesercat I think everyone else thinks 'dead bloke' but I like your idea more

  • @KangoTV hehe thanks :)

  • @maltesercat What does having lots of milk bottles indicated he's a pedo?

  • @WhiteSypher most old people get there milk delived and if they built up ppl think there dead , and basically police come round to check there ok lol x

  • @maltesercat you are blatantly taking the pee here

  • I think i broke my computer coz i laffed to hard with pepsi in my mouth nd it went everywhere :O

  • "then he falls over like a kinder egg" haha

  • Just the noise he makes with the tea spoon!!

  • Fantastic surreal story teller.

  • what...a...legend

  • slit his eye lids open oh my god i laughed

  • lol, funny as hell. didn't get the 30 bottles of milk joke though

  • @mattyhOVashton

    Its because he's old, leaving the milk outside would suggest he can't collect it i.e he's died. Hence social services turning up and wasting police time.

  • @HarrisonRocks ah right ta, lol

  • @mattyhOVashton In england, milk is delivered to your door, if a lot of bottles are outside the door of a pensioner, it may indicate that all is not well because he hasn´t been collecting his milk and the police will often be called to check it out.

  • Or I could stick him up my arse!!!!! lmao!!!!LEGEND!!!

  • somthings gotta give, aint gunna be the vice

  • What a brilliant finish.

  • "Stay away from my cats."

  • havent laughed that hard in years... the many deaths of his imaginary budgie did it....

  • Aww budgie killing.....'twas hilarious

  • "Then i would reverse towards a stone grinding wheel" Sean Lock, You are an absolute LEGEND.

  • He's brilliant.

  • it falls over like an empty kinger egg

  • Lol the part about his neighbour made me laugh and the part with the budgie had me in tears of laughter XD he's just brilliant, one of the best comedians around without a doubt.

  • i cried after the budgie bit

  • "my daughters weird... he does ...." wtF?

  • @dognigniveilebpot ik. but he actually says doctor

  • Thanks for this.

  • Not many people alive can make a theatre of spectators laugh at brutally killing a budgie. What a man!

  • @sozzoll but nobody even tries..

  • "like and empty kinder egg"

  • luv the bugdy part lol

  • There's a fucking bear up there!

  • my cheeks hurt

  • "......Stay away from my cats." Hahaha! I love Sean Lock. :)

  • "and just feed the greedy little bastard" rofl!

  • Genius

  • thers a fuckin bear up there!!!

  • Urgh!

  • I thought this through obviously...flippen hillarious

  • omgsh that ending bit was the best

  • HILARIOUS!

  • feet first, im not a maniac ... LOL!!!

  • Comment removed

  • I LOL'd sooo much at this :')

  • jim jefferies is my fav at the moment!!

  • what was weird about the budgie joke?? sean lock is a legend, so xelt4 and mryidkid, go and watch sumthing else if u dont like u pair of cocksuckers

  • hes funny but i thought he went on about the weird budgie joke for too long...

  • Totally Agree.

  • im not stupid id put the feet 1st lol

  • 2:19 absolute beauty

  • THERES A FUCKING BEAR UP THERE NO NOT A TEDDY BEAR A REAL ONE xD

  • lol, the budgie at the end was so funnie

  • The budgie bit was making me laugh so much

  • @6buster

    That had to be the most disturbing, nasty and most awesome routine i've heard in about 3 years..... :P

  • hehe this guys on a different level.

  • wow, just realised this episode of Live at the Apollo was broadcast on my 18th birthday :P

  • @Georgeous129 my birthday's on the 1st sept too (Y)

  • If he's not been picking up his milk then he's presumed dead by neighbours.

  • i dont get the Milk joke?

  • Literally, if the milks piled up outside his front door - people will get suspicious & call the police as they thing the old guys passed has either died or had an accident & is unable to get up to open the door or call for help....hence the police & social services bashing through the door.....

  • thankyou so much for posting the three of these! i laughed and laughed and laughed

  • kills budgie with teaspoon realy funny ha ha ha ha ha

  • STAY AWAY FROM MY CATS >.>