Reminds me of when I saw the second film in a pub and the hero robots are saying "give me your face" and ripping faces off other robots, taking them apart piece by piece (hand then forearm then off at the shoulder) and I'm going "mate, stop. You're the bloody good guy!"
I accept that these films are designed as mindless entertainment and that people can enjoy it for the SFX, though I didn't. What I couldn't except was how UNBELIEVABLY long it was. It went on and on and on. I did not need Shia being molested in a toilet, screaming really loudly, his parents talking about his cock, "red in yellow room" jokes, and robots humping peoples' legs. Mindless entertainment is pushing it at the 1:45 mark. If a movie is that long, you need the substance to sustain it.
i often wonder if movies like this say more about michael bay, or about us as moviegoers. i agree 10000000000000000000000% with this dude! kudos Mark!!
and i remember people saying Revenge of The Fallen was the best movie they had ever seen, i'm thinking they are either 12 and under, or haven't seen many movies. anyway, i agree wholeheartedly with Mark.
The saddest thing to me is, Spielberg was executive producer and didn't decide it was best to fire Michael Bay and do it all himself. At least then this movie would've had heart and some integrity.
Really solid review. I wish more people spoke out about this kind of cancerous "cinema" so all the mindless sheep paying to see it can better understand why it's shit. It infuriates me when people go to see films simply because an actress is hot or there are lots of explosions. Having an actual plot has become a thing of the past and that is an absolute tragedy. As for all the sniveling fanboys who white knight trash like this, I'm embarrassed for you.
I've never seen any of the "critics" actually talk about the character assassination done to all the characters in the movie. It's like they've never had a childhood and understand exactly why the ending is just so wrong.
3D's not going down the toilet, quite the opposite.. More directors are using it because they now see it as their defense against VoD.. Producers like it because it brings back more money. In fact it did so well in the cinemas at it's early stages other companies are now pushing for their laptops, mobile phones etc to become 3D
Mark's also being extremely politically correct, just out of hate for Bay. Ass shots also attract teenagers, makes sense being a teen film
I agree with most of what Mark is saying, but in Michaels defence i will say that it's true that many theaters forget to raise the brightness when projecting 3D.
But the way he asks is very rude, he should have said something like, we would appreciate of you would please turn up the brightness and show 60 frames per seccond to inshure the best 3D wieving expierience
This review just gets better with time. It's like a fine wine. . . or another review of a Transformers movie. I'm glad as hell that Jason Isaacs isn't in these movies.
@piepowa First of all, why are you watching an English reviewer if you're American? Second of all, he's a critic that's his job. So for a film to have cars and girls in it doesn't make it a good movie at ALL.
@Ph0enixAsh That's a nice opinion. Honestly I couldn't give a damn about plot, hidden messages, etc. I only watched this because my friend asked me to. Critics are people who don't have any real talent and rely on public response. So as part of the public, I respond by saying I like movies with hot girls.
@piepowa Okay. That's your opinion, in which case I insist you stay away from reading and watching critics talk about a Movie. The plot for me is what holds a movie together, and if what Mark said is correct then it's not a Movie for me. Second thing, critics don't rely on public response. That's actually one of many things they don't do.
The way the 9/11 imagery is presented is pretty tasteless as well as the implied gay sex and Chernobyl.
It all smacks of a impatient toddler's destructive playtime mixed with juvenile humour and crass, soft pornagraphic sensibilities.
Some action scenes that aren't dull I marvel at for the effects but then I realise that there's no emotional involvement, no suspense and dumb writing.
Shia is a dick, too much filler, light falls, cheesy and tepid romance and dutch and weird above angles.2/10
It was better than the first 2, Mark should have recognized that. A bit more storytelling, visuals were sharper, some good supporting performances. Ofcourse, it's still a worthless piece of crap movie.
As far as the new girlfriend only being there as eye candy, yeah so? that happens all the time in these kinds of movies.
Shameless as well. It's like they went out of their way to pick a model as far removed from a capable actress as possible, just to hammer the point home that the person has been hired purely as the resident tits and arse. They could've easily found a hot and decent model-turned-actor - yet they didn't. A sidenote : Megan Fox has risen considerably in my estimations, because anyone who calls Michael Bay a twat deserves some recognition.
Guy comes across as an arrogant prick when he's wrong. Bay's letter to theaters was really just echoing what every consumer has been bitching about for the last year: cinemas have been cheaping out on the brightness levels in turn the 3D movies are being projected way too dark.
@badhead just checked it out and it's pretty amazing. It's interesting how many movies they mention have become well known. It's seems like the golden age for movies. Also, these guys haven been working together pretty much since the day I was born! Unfortunately, I only had the privilege to discover the show several months ago (I don't live in the UK, which doesn't help). It's also interesting how the format has changed from a crammed in, not-to-take-to-seriously bit to a mature show.
@badhead Just wondering, do have recordings available from before march 2005, or did u get them from the collection of podcasts available on the web? Although I'm not even close to have listened to all of them, it'd be a real shame that a good four years of the show is impossible to get hold of (unless you're working for the BBC archives, in which case I kindly ask: please upload them all! haha).
Fair point, I'm by no means suggeting Transformers is the best movie of the year, I enjoy these movies for what they are - popcorn entertainment, but nothing more. There are some movies which are terrible - like Batman & Robin, one of the worst movies ever. The point I'm making is that one person could think Transformers is good, yet still love classic movies like The Godfather, then you can't really say they are wrong, especially considering everyone enjoys different things.
But if said actors go on to make "the best art-house movie of all time" from the money they earned from starring in this film, wouldn't that be the cinematic equivalent of blood money?
So many sad, sad people here who are in dire need of lives. Spare them one if you can, please. Why would you call him a 'cunt' just because his reviewing a film, doing his job and telling the truth. Why don't you shove your toys up your mum's arse, you twats.
I totally agree with this review, however i think mark has a hidden agenda to simply bad mouth anything Michael Bay puts out, and i say this because Mark gave Skyline a fair review and that movie was much much MUCH than Transformers,even worse than Transformers 2, probably the worst sci fi film ive ever seen
Dunno if i think it was worse than Transformers 2, but i have to agree that it was one of the worst. Sooooo boring, they use half an hour to get from a big apartment with a big telescope to a little apartment with a small telescope. And then the there´s the ending if you can call it an ending...
@thepezdispenser Well to be honest i still dont understand why everyone thinks T2 was the worst in the series, for me it was the same as the 1st and 3rd Transformers films, no better, no worse, all 3 films were built upon SFX and all 3 had the same overal effect on me, i really couldnt say which was the worst. All i can say though is if i hate transformers so much, then why have i watched all 3?, i think we all secretly enjoy the spectacle of it, even if the acting and plot is weak
@PeterZeeke They awaken that old Transformer from an aircraft museum and he transports them to Egypt, we dont need to know how he does it, i mean the film is about giant talking robots from out of space.....i think the sense ship sailed a long time ago. I never wondered how they got transported to Egypt, i was juat like "oh thats kinda cool, that old fart of a Transformer can teleport", im glad they didnt go into a long winded monologue on HOW he teleports, i just wanna see megan foxes ass lol
@Raymint I dont find Transformers offensive and i think youve gotta be a really weak human being to be offended bt a movie. I could say Skyline offended my intelligents by thinking it was a film people wanted to watch, i think people were expecting Independence day on steroids but got the opposite. Ive never fealt offended by Transformers, but i have realized special effects dont excite me. I saw Transformers 3 with a group of 6 people, all of which loved the film, i was the only one that didnt
@SamHain1031666 I am not actively offended by Transformers, I'm just aware of the offensive material. Why is it that in a film about human beings defending themselves against a monstrosity trying to end the world, Michael STILL looks for opportunities to leer at women? And why is he doing all this in a kid's film? He's playing toward the sensibilities of teenage boys who wished they could treat women like they do in a porno, and he's doing that because he knows that sex sells.
@SamHain1031666 It's a very cheap and crass form of money making and is FAR worse than just being boring. What's even worse is that EVEN after having Megan Fox complain about the fact that she was still being treated like the shiny cars (a whole other movie later), Michael Bay just brushes her comments off, fires her and then brings in a whole new sex toy to be ogled at in an even more leery way than before. So he clearly doesn't care about whether or not he's being offensive either.
This comment has received too many negative votesshow
oh get on with it you BORING CUNT Kermode. Soooo fucking boring! Yes, of course the film's gonna be shit - do you need to rant on for so long? We get it - you ugly pie faced cunt
@benoitismydad No, it SHOULD be a kid's movie. Kermode's point is that something as leery, pornographic and ill-judged as this film is NOT suitable for minor audiences.
The original Transformers was Robots in Disguise. This is NOTHING for minor audiences. Just like the good doctor said, Michael Bay is a pornographic director. When we have to be introduced girls with them bending over cars so we can see their asses, tell me that is a kids movie, and learn how to spell before you do come up with an excuse.
I've said it before: when he starts comparing the film's running time to that of 2001: A Space Odyssey, you know you're in for a classic Kermodian rant.
I just read another scathing review of Transformers 3, and it played in my head in this guy's voice. I think from here on out, everything negative I ever read will be in the tone of this pissed off Englishman.
You're right, it's 39 minutes long apparently, and I didn't detect any pauses (besides a brief one-liner or Mexican standoff). Still, the point stands - you can make a brilliant action sequence last that long, it's a matter of the ideas and how one handles the pace and timing, and Michael Bay is certainly deficient in both.
@algroth89 Yeh...I mean I must admit, on a sheerly "geek boy" level, I did enjoy the first film, but that is all it should have been. Turning it into what it now is is mental, and I don't think "bang bang" filmmaking can last you an entire franchise and still be respected as good cinema lol
Although I myself can't see the point of 3D, the fact that both of the hobbit movies are in 3D means the format is probably a loooooong way from dead.
Secondly, it just so happens your opinion is the popular one going around regarding the second movie. So you are NOT right, that is your opinion alone and nothing more, so would realising that be enough? Apparantly not!
With regard to the third movie, I actually enjoyed it, one of the reasons being that is has some emotional moments with the characters, something you seemed to miss out of your review, why am I not surprised.
Right first of all Mark, I actually enjoyed Transformers 2 (and before ANYONE tells me I have terrible taste in films, I love movies like Pulp Fiction, The Matrix etc as well), and here we are two years later and guess what...
YOU'RE NOT GETTING A BLOODY LETTER OFF ME, because I DO NOT think it's anywhere NEAR as bad as everyone says: not great but fun, and my opinion IS NOT CHANGING because you think it's bad.
@tooyjfwn Couldn't you then argue that Mark does then, because he seems to think he's always right and whilst I respect him (even though it doesn't look like it), he should accept that he is not the target audience, much like the point I made about The King's Speech.
Sorry for appearing like a child, and I can see how it looks that way, but this was something I felt I had to get across.
Heard this on the radio earlier today. Brilliant review. My girlfriend was trying to get tickets for us at the Imax for this weekend. Imagine my relief when she said 'Oh no there are no good seats left.'
Preferable poster information for the Transformers 3 poster, copy-paste on every other movie poster:
Transformers 3: Dark of The Moon
directed by Michael Bay
starring Shia Lebeouf and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
written by Ehren Kruger
reviewed by Mark Kermode
AwesomeCoasters 1 month ago
Reminds me of when I saw the second film in a pub and the hero robots are saying "give me your face" and ripping faces off other robots, taking them apart piece by piece (hand then forearm then off at the shoulder) and I'm going "mate, stop. You're the bloody good guy!"
blokey8 3 months ago
So proud: haven't seen Transformers 2 or 3 and none of the Harry Potters!!! I RULE !!!!!!
vanzetti7 4 months ago
I accept that these films are designed as mindless entertainment and that people can enjoy it for the SFX, though I didn't. What I couldn't except was how UNBELIEVABLY long it was. It went on and on and on. I did not need Shia being molested in a toilet, screaming really loudly, his parents talking about his cock, "red in yellow room" jokes, and robots humping peoples' legs. Mindless entertainment is pushing it at the 1:45 mark. If a movie is that long, you need the substance to sustain it.
hanshotfirst1138 4 months ago
I love the screen shot of these two. I like to think that they were told to show up at the photo op dressed "smart casual" and this was the result.
Bagrah10 6 months ago
when i heard there was gonna be a new transformers movie the 1st thing i thought of was mark kermode. he s spot on the guy is a genius
gertrudeince1 6 months ago
I want Mark to interview Michael Bay !!
trickykid73 6 months ago
i often wonder if movies like this say more about michael bay, or about us as moviegoers. i agree 10000000000000000000000% with this dude! kudos Mark!!
and i remember people saying Revenge of The Fallen was the best movie they had ever seen, i'm thinking they are either 12 and under, or haven't seen many movies. anyway, i agree wholeheartedly with Mark.
rbmt3rd2007 7 months ago
Totally agree, also since when did Optimus Prime pull the head of a pleeding enemy, for no real reason, used to be ok megatron see you next saturday.
j3parrots 7 months ago
The saddest thing to me is, Spielberg was executive producer and didn't decide it was best to fire Michael Bay and do it all himself. At least then this movie would've had heart and some integrity.
ChildOfTheWilderness 7 months ago 5
Comment removed
ChildOfTheWilderness 7 months ago
Really solid review. I wish more people spoke out about this kind of cancerous "cinema" so all the mindless sheep paying to see it can better understand why it's shit. It infuriates me when people go to see films simply because an actress is hot or there are lots of explosions. Having an actual plot has become a thing of the past and that is an absolute tragedy. As for all the sniveling fanboys who white knight trash like this, I'm embarrassed for you.
SnazBerries 7 months ago 4
I've never seen any of the "critics" actually talk about the character assassination done to all the characters in the movie. It's like they've never had a childhood and understand exactly why the ending is just so wrong.
Un0r1g1n4l 7 months ago
Cluster fruit cake lol
apatano20 7 months ago
Good review, got a few issues
3D's not going down the toilet, quite the opposite.. More directors are using it because they now see it as their defense against VoD.. Producers like it because it brings back more money. In fact it did so well in the cinemas at it's early stages other companies are now pushing for their laptops, mobile phones etc to become 3D
Mark's also being extremely politically correct, just out of hate for Bay. Ass shots also attract teenagers, makes sense being a teen film
SugarBombs89 7 months ago
I knew the NASCAR bots would offend the Brits
garlicthethird 7 months ago
I agree with most of what Mark is saying, but in Michaels defence i will say that it's true that many theaters forget to raise the brightness when projecting 3D.
But the way he asks is very rude, he should have said something like, we would appreciate of you would please turn up the brightness and show 60 frames per seccond to inshure the best 3D wieving expierience
navylaks2 7 months ago
This review just gets better with time. It's like a fine wine. . . or another review of a Transformers movie. I'm glad as hell that Jason Isaacs isn't in these movies.
PenguinInc 7 months ago
just saw the movie, I agree with Mark.
That said it was spectacular to see, and I suppose thats all people care about
PeterZeeke 7 months ago
These guys are British... I'm American, and if this movies got fast cars, giant robots, and hot girls, I'm chill.
piepowa 8 months ago
@piepowa First of all, why are you watching an English reviewer if you're American? Second of all, he's a critic that's his job. So for a film to have cars and girls in it doesn't make it a good movie at ALL.
Ph0enixAsh 7 months ago
@Ph0enixAsh That's a nice opinion. Honestly I couldn't give a damn about plot, hidden messages, etc. I only watched this because my friend asked me to. Critics are people who don't have any real talent and rely on public response. So as part of the public, I respond by saying I like movies with hot girls.
piepowa 7 months ago
@piepowa Okay. That's your opinion, in which case I insist you stay away from reading and watching critics talk about a Movie. The plot for me is what holds a movie together, and if what Mark said is correct then it's not a Movie for me. Second thing, critics don't rely on public response. That's actually one of many things they don't do.
Ph0enixAsh 7 months ago
So, I take it Mark isn't going to be buying the DVD then?
1978Borderline 8 months ago 3
@TheThing88: yes, as I pointed out in my post.
Robkinggozer 8 months ago
The way the 9/11 imagery is presented is pretty tasteless as well as the implied gay sex and Chernobyl.
It all smacks of a impatient toddler's destructive playtime mixed with juvenile humour and crass, soft pornagraphic sensibilities.
Some action scenes that aren't dull I marvel at for the effects but then I realise that there's no emotional involvement, no suspense and dumb writing.
Shia is a dick, too much filler, light falls, cheesy and tepid romance and dutch and weird above angles.2/10
sunnygirly2k4 8 months ago 2
Aaaaah, time to go fetch the popcorn...
TheThing88 8 months ago
Agree with every single point.
gravidplum 8 months ago
It was better than the first 2, Mark should have recognized that. A bit more storytelling, visuals were sharper, some good supporting performances. Ofcourse, it's still a worthless piece of crap movie.
As far as the new girlfriend only being there as eye candy, yeah so? that happens all the time in these kinds of movies.
Robkinggozer 8 months ago
@Robkinggozer A sweeter smelling turd is a turd nonetheless.
TheThing88 8 months ago
Jason statham is going after kermode now!
open0Fire 8 months ago
@Pseudotriangulation
Shameless as well. It's like they went out of their way to pick a model as far removed from a capable actress as possible, just to hammer the point home that the person has been hired purely as the resident tits and arse. They could've easily found a hot and decent model-turned-actor - yet they didn't. A sidenote : Megan Fox has risen considerably in my estimations, because anyone who calls Michael Bay a twat deserves some recognition.
TheConciseStatement 8 months ago 2
Man, Mark is so so off on this.
Clay3613 8 months ago
Sorry Neogaf, Mark is completely correct on this one.
King0ne 8 months ago
Mark Kermode: 100
Michael Bay: 0
Hyman74Roth 8 months ago 2
Guy comes across as an arrogant prick when he's wrong. Bay's letter to theaters was really just echoing what every consumer has been bitching about for the last year: cinemas have been cheaping out on the brightness levels in turn the 3D movies are being projected way too dark.
MuchRockness 8 months ago
@badhead just checked it out and it's pretty amazing. It's interesting how many movies they mention have become well known. It's seems like the golden age for movies. Also, these guys haven been working together pretty much since the day I was born! Unfortunately, I only had the privilege to discover the show several months ago (I don't live in the UK, which doesn't help). It's also interesting how the format has changed from a crammed in, not-to-take-to-seriously bit to a mature show.
KeyMasta92 8 months ago
Greatest review of all time. Every word was spot on
thestudentroomUK 8 months ago
I read this on a movie review site : "Transformers 3 isn't this summer's best movie, but only because every other movie this year is better ". xD
KotowTV 8 months ago
@badhead Just wondering, do have recordings available from before march 2005, or did u get them from the collection of podcasts available on the web? Although I'm not even close to have listened to all of them, it'd be a real shame that a good four years of the show is impossible to get hold of (unless you're working for the BBC archives, in which case I kindly ask: please upload them all! haha).
KeyMasta92 8 months ago
@KeyMasta92 no i dont sorry. There is an old episode of simon and marks old radio 1 show from the year 2000 that someone eles uploaded on youtube.
badhead 8 months ago
lol.. Waaagh!! dem sound like ork!!
2tone459 8 months ago
Comment removed
nikosvault 8 months ago 5
@nikosvault
Fair point, I'm by no means suggeting Transformers is the best movie of the year, I enjoy these movies for what they are - popcorn entertainment, but nothing more. There are some movies which are terrible - like Batman & Robin, one of the worst movies ever. The point I'm making is that one person could think Transformers is good, yet still love classic movies like The Godfather, then you can't really say they are wrong, especially considering everyone enjoys different things.
MbFilmReviews 8 months ago
Comment removed
whywehateshow 8 months ago
I really cannot believe he actually describes his visual style as "fucking the frame".
Raymint 8 months ago 2
@Raymint He's clearly been doing it wrong for years. LOL
zionravescene 8 months ago
"It's not a movie, it's an industrial point"
Classic Kermode :)
mrbain123 8 months ago
But if said actors go on to make "the best art-house movie of all time" from the money they earned from starring in this film, wouldn't that be the cinematic equivalent of blood money?
zionravescene 8 months ago 3
So many sad, sad people here who are in dire need of lives. Spare them one if you can, please. Why would you call him a 'cunt' just because his reviewing a film, doing his job and telling the truth. Why don't you shove your toys up your mum's arse, you twats.
ASKpq 8 months ago 2
Thanks for posting, enjoy listening to Mark. Do you post each of his reviews with Simon?
PiperUK 8 months ago
@PiperUK most of them.
badhead 8 months ago
as much as i disagree with everything mark kermode says , the guy is hillarious!
noowhoo 8 months ago
@zampasf
Just bang them together, LOUDLY
thepezdispenser 8 months ago
I totally agree with this review, however i think mark has a hidden agenda to simply bad mouth anything Michael Bay puts out, and i say this because Mark gave Skyline a fair review and that movie was much much MUCH than Transformers,even worse than Transformers 2, probably the worst sci fi film ive ever seen
SamHain1031666 8 months ago
@SamHain1031666
Dunno if i think it was worse than Transformers 2, but i have to agree that it was one of the worst. Sooooo boring, they use half an hour to get from a big apartment with a big telescope to a little apartment with a small telescope. And then the there´s the ending if you can call it an ending...
thepezdispenser 8 months ago
@thepezdispenser Well to be honest i still dont understand why everyone thinks T2 was the worst in the series, for me it was the same as the 1st and 3rd Transformers films, no better, no worse, all 3 films were built upon SFX and all 3 had the same overal effect on me, i really couldnt say which was the worst. All i can say though is if i hate transformers so much, then why have i watched all 3?, i think we all secretly enjoy the spectacle of it, even if the acting and plot is weak
SamHain1031666 8 months ago 3
@SamHain1031666
The characters end up magically transported to egypt. they're all bad but two makes zero sense really.
PeterZeeke 7 months ago
@PeterZeeke They awaken that old Transformer from an aircraft museum and he transports them to Egypt, we dont need to know how he does it, i mean the film is about giant talking robots from out of space.....i think the sense ship sailed a long time ago. I never wondered how they got transported to Egypt, i was juat like "oh thats kinda cool, that old fart of a Transformer can teleport", im glad they didnt go into a long winded monologue on HOW he teleports, i just wanna see megan foxes ass lol
SamHain1031666 7 months ago
@SamHain1031666
cant argue with that
PeterZeeke 7 months ago
@SamHain1031666 'Skyline' wasn't offensive ... and he liked 'The Island'.
Raymint 8 months ago
@Raymint I dont find Transformers offensive and i think youve gotta be a really weak human being to be offended bt a movie. I could say Skyline offended my intelligents by thinking it was a film people wanted to watch, i think people were expecting Independence day on steroids but got the opposite. Ive never fealt offended by Transformers, but i have realized special effects dont excite me. I saw Transformers 3 with a group of 6 people, all of which loved the film, i was the only one that didnt
SamHain1031666 8 months ago
@SamHain1031666 I am not actively offended by Transformers, I'm just aware of the offensive material. Why is it that in a film about human beings defending themselves against a monstrosity trying to end the world, Michael STILL looks for opportunities to leer at women? And why is he doing all this in a kid's film? He's playing toward the sensibilities of teenage boys who wished they could treat women like they do in a porno, and he's doing that because he knows that sex sells.
Raymint 8 months ago 4
@SamHain1031666 It's a very cheap and crass form of money making and is FAR worse than just being boring. What's even worse is that EVEN after having Megan Fox complain about the fact that she was still being treated like the shiny cars (a whole other movie later), Michael Bay just brushes her comments off, fires her and then brings in a whole new sex toy to be ogled at in an even more leery way than before. So he clearly doesn't care about whether or not he's being offensive either.
Raymint 8 months ago 3
I thought Transformers 2 was terrible when it came out and Transformers 3 was even worse in my opinion.
2AProductions 8 months ago
Kermode is the man.
rdaniell76 8 months ago
What a fucking waste of time
jump312 8 months ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
oh get on with it you BORING CUNT Kermode. Soooo fucking boring! Yes, of course the film's gonna be shit - do you need to rant on for so long? We get it - you ugly pie faced cunt
PABBY75 8 months ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
kermode is a cunt - fucks sake its a kids movie just let them enjoy it u stupid fuck
benoitismydad 8 months ago
@benoitismydad No, it SHOULD be a kid's movie. Kermode's point is that something as leery, pornographic and ill-judged as this film is NOT suitable for minor audiences.
algroth89 8 months ago 8
@benoitismydad
How is this a kids movie?
The original Transformers was Robots in Disguise. This is NOTHING for minor audiences. Just like the good doctor said, Michael Bay is a pornographic director. When we have to be introduced girls with them bending over cars so we can see their asses, tell me that is a kids movie, and learn how to spell before you do come up with an excuse.
LivinWorstNightmare 8 months ago
This is brilliant.
melvinwhitewest 8 months ago
Comment removed
melvinwhitewest 8 months ago
Classic! Thanks so much for posting this. Love the Kermode and Mayo show and I hate hate hate hate Michael Bay!!!!!
trexguy 8 months ago 2
I was looking forward to this more then the film.
Avoidnow 8 months ago 22
i love this man
sonofnumeric 8 months ago
Dr K is back! The best rant since Sex In The City 2.
thetheme2009 8 months ago 5
@thetheme2009 Yep, classic stuff :)
misangre 7 months ago
This review is more entertaining than the actual film.
AlexEwing 8 months ago 3
Yes! Mark Kermode mentioned Barry Lyndon and 2001: A Space Odyssey. Therefore, this rant truly is about the end of civilization.
Regenmacher175 8 months ago
I've said it before: when he starts comparing the film's running time to that of 2001: A Space Odyssey, you know you're in for a classic Kermodian rant.
and this here is the rant of the century.
zionravescene 8 months ago
I just read another scathing review of Transformers 3, and it played in my head in this guy's voice. I think from here on out, everything negative I ever read will be in the tone of this pissed off Englishman.
Pat12151215 8 months ago
I like that he draws an analogy to the demise of the Roman empire. Shows how learned he is :-)
rayway82 8 months ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
Who the fuck can take this serious when he opens up a comparison in Films to Colloseums of Rome, jesus christ- amerifatty logic.
Crealtos 8 months ago
This is epic! I don't know that it's funnier than Pirates 3, but it certainly IS him at his angriest :)
TheScrewball1982 8 months ago 3
Heh, I loved this part:
Mayo: "And with that spirit of optimism, let's find out what Mark thinks."
Kermode: "Well it's horrible, vile, vulgar and hideous..."
TheHitherto 8 months ago 4
A cluster fruitcake sounds like a tasty snack
MrDohers 8 months ago
13 Assassins had a 60-minute final battle sequence, and it ruled.
Anyways, brilliant rant.
algroth89 8 months ago
@algroth89 It had pauses, and wasn't 60 minutes :)
TheScrewball1982 8 months ago
Comment removed
algroth89 8 months ago
You're right, it's 39 minutes long apparently, and I didn't detect any pauses (besides a brief one-liner or Mexican standoff). Still, the point stands - you can make a brilliant action sequence last that long, it's a matter of the ideas and how one handles the pace and timing, and Michael Bay is certainly deficient in both.
algroth89 8 months ago
@algroth89 Yeh...I mean I must admit, on a sheerly "geek boy" level, I did enjoy the first film, but that is all it should have been. Turning it into what it now is is mental, and I don't think "bang bang" filmmaking can last you an entire franchise and still be respected as good cinema lol
TheScrewball1982 8 months ago
Amazing.
HorrorOfMike 8 months ago
The essence of comedy joke - i knew it already but Mark did it perfectly.
KotowTV 8 months ago
Thanks for this - can't be bothered to wait for the webcast xD
KotowTV 8 months ago
I don't get the whole 'cluster fruitcake' thing.
c02k10 8 months ago
@c02k10 the phrase is "cluster fuck". But he cant say that on the radio.
badhead 8 months ago 23
@c02k10 Hence the phrase 'fruitcaking the frame' is actually 'fucking the frame'
Tbass17 5 months ago
The end is near. Repent Mr Bay.
SirSodit 8 months ago
Although I myself can't see the point of 3D, the fact that both of the hobbit movies are in 3D means the format is probably a loooooong way from dead.
ladsrus 8 months ago
I love Porn.
PrivateAckbar 8 months ago
Secondly, it just so happens your opinion is the popular one going around regarding the second movie. So you are NOT right, that is your opinion alone and nothing more, so would realising that be enough? Apparantly not!
With regard to the third movie, I actually enjoyed it, one of the reasons being that is has some emotional moments with the characters, something you seemed to miss out of your review, why am I not surprised.
MbFilmReviews 8 months ago
Right first of all Mark, I actually enjoyed Transformers 2 (and before ANYONE tells me I have terrible taste in films, I love movies like Pulp Fiction, The Matrix etc as well), and here we are two years later and guess what...
YOU'RE NOT GETTING A BLOODY LETTER OFF ME, because I DO NOT think it's anywhere NEAR as bad as everyone says: not great but fun, and my opinion IS NOT CHANGING because you think it's bad.
MbFilmReviews 8 months ago
@MbFilmReviews We don't think that you have terrible taste in films, we just think you have the intellect of a seven year old.
tooyjfwn 8 months ago
@tooyjfwn Couldn't you then argue that Mark does then, because he seems to think he's always right and whilst I respect him (even though it doesn't look like it), he should accept that he is not the target audience, much like the point I made about The King's Speech.
Sorry for appearing like a child, and I can see how it looks that way, but this was something I felt I had to get across.
MbFilmReviews 8 months ago
@tooyjfwn "one of the reasons being it has some emotional moments with its characters"...... don't even bother, the guy is rain man
roloug95 8 months ago
This is the angriest I've ever heard the GD. Love it.
deadblissco 8 months ago
I had a feeling this would be another brilliant review from the Doctor! :-)
ThatFellowCoat 8 months ago 2
little disapointed but will re hear it in a week
Howler15 8 months ago
Dear Badhead - thank you so much for continuing to upload these.
Dear Mark Kermode - I bloody love you!
deantown 8 months ago 34
A Kermodian rant for the books, up there with Angles & Demons, Sex & the City 2 and Pirates 3.
ahegele 8 months ago 4
Thanks for posting this!
DaRunningMan 8 months ago
This is not a rant, it's a meltdown. Possibly the best of the last ten years.
jd899 8 months ago 46
@jd899
At least we got something good out of TF3 then.
I personally got fuck all out of the last two. And I'm a big TF fan.
paulbrown06 8 months ago
I waited for this. My girl friend wants to go to the movies so bad tonight, we will not being the garbage Michael Bay produces though.
LivinWorstNightmare 8 months ago
Looking forward to this...
jd899 8 months ago
As far as Kermodian rants go, this is an instant classic.
B1ggu5 8 months ago 2
Heard this on the radio earlier today. Brilliant review. My girlfriend was trying to get tickets for us at the Imax for this weekend. Imagine my relief when she said 'Oh no there are no good seats left.'
Snuffomatica 8 months ago
Comment removed
lukevalmurray 8 months ago