A person with APD always has people in their life that feeds the disorder. Get away from those people. Don't listen to them. APD people are very sensitive to other's opinions and actions that it cripples them. Get you some good friends that build you up. Get the trash talkers out of your life. If you want to smell garbage don't ever take it out of your life. You must also realize who the real enemy is. Read the Bible.
I sometimes think for the person with avoidant personality it would be better to move away from all family. It depends on who in your life is putting the pressure on you. I have a dad that was not easy to please because he was so much into worldly titles and money that I think my life would of been so much better if I would of moved far away from him when I got married. Satan used this man many times to bring me down. I am now ready to face this demon in my life by God's help.
If you don't ask or make time each day for God then you will continue to live with this disorder. YOu have to learn to please God and forget the world's approval rating on your life. Move if you have to, get away from those that keep you feeling bad. Start new and keep negative people out of your circle. Get away from those that make you feel so bad about yourself. Or stand up and put them in their place. Time to quit running and start standing on the word of God.
I have lived with avoidant personality 4 37 years and it has effected my life to the point I wanted to die many times. My life got smaller and smaller through the years. Too busy thinking how I looked to the outside world and what a failure my life was. Read the Bible and see that this avoidant personality is just a trick of Satan 2 keep you distracted from finding the truth. Get out your pen and paper and write down a list of things you need from God and ask him everyday for it. Read his word.
I had this all my life, was born with it. Nothing my parents did, my uncle had this and so i inherited it. It like you have a voice in your head telling you 24/7 what a screw up you are. You can't handle rejection of any kind. You find that if you are alone that no one can hurt you. You don't think you have anything anyone would want so you just avoid the future pain of getting hurt so you just have one friend or a family member to talk to. Don't know how to socialize, don't know what to say.
@codename7000 I think you are wrong. The more I try to socialize the more I want to hide. I am getting help from God. God is opening my eyes to a lot of things. I need more social interaction with God. I have been a people pleaser all my life, and when I couldn't please or make happy I would shut down and hide for fear of rejection. I am finally with God's help starting to care less of what people think of my life. Worldly titles and approval can wreck a person's view of themselves.
@Kyjo34 Well its the opposite for me. The more I socialize the better I become with socializing. But if God works for you than go right ahead and do that way.
@codename7000 God is the key to getting over this avoidant personality disorder. When you don't care so much about people's approval you get free, finally free to live your life the way you want to live it. When you arise above the world and their expectations and pressure on you, you finally taste freedom to be yourself. Satan puts thoughts of pleasing others and then he makes it impossibel for you to please and then he sits back and watches you suffer trying to do the impossible.
This is me 100%.. Only I enjoy talking to people only when they're on my side or helping me. If they are being negative, combative, critical of me, I'm done with them. I dont want to talk to them, look at them, and I will avoid them at all cost. Maybe even forever. I'm very envious so friends/close relatives are limited. And I cant get up and present something without reading directly from note cards. I don't mind people being mad at me, as long as I dont have to be around them :) So what am I?
I have this disorder, but I wasn't really shy as a kid. I made friends with populair kids and with bullied kids. I just didn't want to be part of a click or something. when my less populair friends were bullied, I stood up for them. I only found out that I have this disorder when I had therapy when I was 23. I can't work because of this. I like to stay at home and have 1 good friend who I know since I was young.
I often think of myself as being akward or weird, I dont feel like I'm normal, I have no self esteem, I'm a freak. When I hear kids in my school say "there so socially akward" it really hits me, it makes me feel stupid. I feel like throwing up every morning before school. I get really nervous when I have one on one conversation with people I dont know well, I stumble over words and sound like a fool. I hate myself!
Can someone tell me what a normal person is like? Even chicken eggs look different why should everybody be and act alike? It seems that every type of behavior nowdays is called a "disorder"
I have this disorder and I'm literally living in my personal effing hell. I rarely get out of the house unless I have to attend a class. This has also led to UNBELIEVABLE amounts of stress and thoughts of suicide. I'm extremely self conscious, even though people compliment me all the time-even strangers. I fear to death ANYTHING that involves my being criticized or evaluated.
@ohwelI I think I'll end up forever alone because of that, since my social skills are practically non-existent. (which is a thought that's driving me crazy too) Also I don't think I'll ever find and/or keep a good job, despite my education and skills. Damn! I wonder how I'll ever get out of this fucking hell. I really hope it won't lead me to take my f*ing life. If anyone has been cured from this, please share some advice.
@imanameen25 Hmm..close. It's really about having the understanding that how people feel about you or how circumstances affect you, you are not going to have 100% control over. Ever. From there, it's about accepting the situations as they are and knowing what you CAN do. Then, the pressure's off and you can finally act yourself (mostly) without fear. This is coming from a person speaking from personal experience.
When I was in high school the teachers would sometimes set up the desks where everyone is facing the center of the classroom. In occasions such as these I would be sitting, reluctantly, near the white board where the teacher would teach the majority of the class. I would become extremely anxious and would tilt my head forward and my jaws would clench. I would also begin crying in some circumstances. I can hardly be around large groups without these same feelings happening.
i want to socialise but i don't like people.... wtf i hardly ever leave my house i get agoraphobia aswell i got put on disability because of all this shit the bi polar over laps the Avpd not fun at all !
i have this disorder and also bi polar my life feels like a trainwreck i wish i could be more like a schizoid less emotions and unstable moods and not caring about socialisng or feeling the need to interact with others i do like being by my self just to feel at ease though !
Don't like people, or do you feel anxiety. I always feel terribly anxious around people, so I don't know if I "don't like" people, or simply fear people. Maybe a combination of both, but fear is a bigger factor for me, I think.
@Metsada007 maybe you're right. Maybe its just a result of my anxiety. And because of that I'm not a people-person and I get a notion that I send out bad vibes that makes people flee, as a result of me feeling insecure, when people around me. I think people can notice these things, easily. Most people like happy and "dont-worry" people.
@MrSuperstarsi First you might wan't to talk to your doctor and/or make an appointment with a psychologist? It's probably not a great idea to rely on the internets or self-diagnoses.
The problem I'm having with my Avoidant Personality is that I suffer alone in silence. So nobody knows there's anything wrong with me. I guess something can be said of those who act out when they feel as miserable as Avoidants do, since at least they'll get the attention they need to get better.
@user19191 find a good psychiatrist theyre hard to find , but when you do they will help you to love your self like you should and not be so afraid, Im very scared to go places too ,but theraphy helps you to get through it hope things get better for you . Its a lonely feeling .
I don't think this is completely true, though a lot of it sounds about right. I wasn't shy as a child -- I was actually very talkative until I hit puberty. Now I've been suffering from severe social anxiety for over ten years. I dropped out of college because of this and struggle with even the smallest interactions at work each day. Sometimes even saying good morning to a coworker makes me nervous.
That is not true at all. I was not shy as a child, no more than the next guy anyway, and if you asked anyone from my school days whether I was shy, most would say no. I have spent my life faking my confidence and focusing on self-improvement and in doing so, I have created a mask to cover who I really am. People who don't actually suffer from this have no clue what actually goes on. I can spend all day being 'realistic' and building up my confidence but it will all be gone the next morning.
I feel your pain. Im autistic, schizophrenic, I have capgras syndrome, and Im grounds for both borderline and avoidant (possibly schizoid, but probably not) personality disorders. Im 16 years old and my counsellors accused me of faking. So I hate them. The one person I trusted in my school to talk to just left for a new job. Im incapable of feeling emotion, but everyday i stab myself in my arm with a penic or pen 12 times praying to god that I'll feel happiness.It just hurts, Yet people judge me
@MegaAngelbaby14 Well, then, that person is self-conscious if they believe there is something wrong with them when they themselves clearly don't see a problem until the doctor mentioned. I think it just happens to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She has no emotional connection to the concepts she's attempting to relate. She reminds me of a person talking to their pet, understanding doesn't matter so much as how saying them makes her feel.
@MegaAngelbaby14 You fail to understand what a disorder is. Even if you have the typical symptoms of a disorder it's not a disorder unless you or someone has a problem with it. A disorder is not a disorder until it's a problem, causing harm to you, yourself, or others around you. Just having the symptoms doesn't mean you have anything, unless those "symptoms" are interfering with yours, or another's life.
@MegaAngelbaby14 the thing is that people with aviodant personality disorder are EXTREMELY HYPERSENSETIVE to about almost every social situation, one mistake can be mentaly devistating and even if the social encounter is sucessful, the amount of stress it takes to appear normal becomes mentaly and physicaly exhausting.
@MegaAngelbaby14 i know like! its ridiculous i would much rather concentrate on actually getting somewhere with my life instead of being a slutty ho like most people tell me i should be like. getting pissed every weekend and getting layed is...well pointless lol. i agree with everything you just said lol :) x
WTF IS WRONG WITH HER EYES....TO BE SOOOO CONFINDENT SHE SURE CANT LOOK INTO THE CAMERA....AND SHE SHOWS MANY SIGNS OF FEELING NEGATIVE TOWARDS PEOPLE WITH DISORDERS INSTEAD OF COMPASSION. SHE THINGS SHE IS SEPERATE FROM THE WHOLE. WE ARE ONE AND THIS LADY DOESNT EVEN KNOW HERSLEF. LOOK AT OSHO IF YOU WANT TO SEE A PERSON WITH NO EGO AND WHO CARES FOR ALL PEOPLE. THIS LADY IS SWITCHING PERSONALITYS BEFORE YOUR EYES. LET YOUR HEART TELL YOU THE TRUTH.
It's like she describes me as if she knows everything about me. How? Can anybody know the personal hell when I keep it to myself? Why am I like this... I havent been happy for so many years...
I like staying at home, I don't go out much because I don't like to socialize. I don't want people to see me, I'm very self-conscious and I hate myself. I hate that that I'm always shy and when people look at me, I'm always wondering what they're thinking. If anyone says anything negative to me, I'll just be hurt inside. I ask myself why was I born this way? I hate it when "normal" people make fun of those with personality disorders. You're not in our shoes, so don't judge.
@clover220 i feel for you, i too prefer to stay in my own company the majority of the time because i just generally hate being around other people.im a fuck up. people allways look at me like i have a flashing light on my head saying 'hey look at me, laugh and give me evils all the time like i dont care'. im very emotional even my parents saying stuff like your being lazy today can send me to my room crying. and yes 'normal' people are fuckers... if you want someone to talk to, im here :)
@midnightstarfright Yes exactly, I can relate to what you're saying. Even when my family says things that I consider negative, it's a pain for me. And you're right, "normal" people are fuckers. Believe me, I like staying at home. I fantasize about being accepted and wish I was someone else but we can't cure this disorder because it's who we are and we just have to try our best to control it since it is our personality. It's good to know someone else like you is just like me :)
@clover220 yeah it is just who we are, theres nothing wrong with it yet people seem to dislike us more than someone who would go sleeping around with every person on the planet and i realy dont get why. what ive learnt to come to is that anyone who looks down at you for being 'different' is not worth bothering with at all. is it suddenly wrong to be extremally shy and just want to be accepted? :/
by the way, love your profile pic, lisa was a awsome girl in girl interrupted ;) x
@911patagonia hmm yeah i guess i shouldnt have used that word since there is no real 'normal'. what i ment was people who fit the general mark in society, the ones that everyones friends with, the ones that get allong with eacother, the ones who talk/ socialise, the ones that seem to have a perfectly happy and ordinary life...thats my definition of normal people, i suppose its different for all people though, i just dont like it when they look down at me like a pile of crap for the way i am...
People have far more problems than you realize, even though they may look "happy" or "normal". Vernon Howard has some insight on that - he makes a lot of sense - one video here a4xw55paXXY
@clover220 We all Got issues,. But many times, when people stare at us, they usually arnt thinking much about us. Its called "Spotlight effect" or something like that. Most people have this, but varies in levels. Most people think that people pay more attention of them than they really do... I think thats kinda true i guess. If not, then im shitting bricks.
@clover220@clover220 I feel your pain. Im autistic, schizophrenic, I have capgras syndrome, and Im grounds for both borderline and avoidant (possibly schizoid, but probably not) personality disorders. Im 16 years old and my counsellors accused me of faking. So I hate them. The one person I trusted in my school to talk to just left for a new job. Im incapable of feeling emotion, but everyday i stab myself in my arm with a penic or pen 12 times praying to god that I'll feel happiness.
@clover220 Good news for you, your condition is one of the easy ones to treat. All you have to do is increase positive socialization and boom you're on your way to feeling better and being mentally stable. I know because I have a same issue with the same disorder. Even though its really hard to live as someone that is passive and shy and depressed it is surprisingly easy to get out of it compared to other disorders. But I could be wrong.
@clover220 I'm almost in the same position. Only that I do stuff that forces me to be in front of a crowd, but at the same time, I'm probably the most uncomfortable person in the entire room. I can't have fun at a social gathering unless i'm kind of drunk, and my mind is off of my mind. you have a slightly different attitude though, towards others. criticism does hurt, and i'm very cruel to myself, but I want to be those "normal" people. making fun,as much as i hate it, is human nature.
I heard the descriptions of social anxiety disorder, shyness, avoidant personality disorder, and introvertersion. Either I have all of them or they each have similar descriptions/explanations.
I think that this lady is very informative and has an objective type of descriptiveness when talking about the various disorders. She seems sympathetic and genuinely concerned about people, while giving factual basics about the disorders. I don't feel any condescending attitude at all. I would think that being a psychiatrist would mean that you would have to keep yourself from getting emotionally involved with the people you treat to make it an effective treatment.
@Bobbied100 I think your assessment is fair. There is a great deal of anger directed at this doctor who is attempting to educate the public to PDs and help those who suffer from them.
avoiding the terror of presenting yourself... well that is part of the stage fright of so many super stars or exposures of that magnitude do not fit in this ccategory
i might have this not sure. I was treated for social anxiety but got very little help through the medical system. I hate how she says there is nothing you can do. This is false. The best thing you can do for yourself is to face your fears in a safe setting. I have improved greatly from continuously working on myself. Try observing your mind and your fears and ask yourself what is the worst that can happen and how will you deal with it if it does.
I think what can cause this disorder is having a parent that has narcissistic personality disorder..that's definitely a possibility! oh yeahhhhh ...experience lol
@snoopsie I think you may be on to something....my father is very narcissistic but I wouldn't classify him as being at the personality disorder level. Growing up it was very hard to meet his expectations and I felt that I could never be unconditionally accepted by him. I was always afraid that I would get yelled at and shunned if I wanted to do something that didn't agree with his liking. I'm a very social person but I still have tendencies to avoid conflict and criticism. I'm working on it.
Excellent video documenting the challenge of thinking too much in the context of unpredictable variables... "She might not really like me if she knows who I am." Avoidant individuals do much better in the context of predictable reality, no change. I have treated it successfully for years as Avoidant often exists in the context of too much thinking and diminished executive function associated with no less than ADHD - see here: j55GkfiZbDY
I cannot put on a brave face or pretend to having fun when i feel like death warmed up.
I have been prescribed betablockers and at first the worked but i have found that when i have been exposed to anxiety triggers,it has wiped out the benefit.
It's not that I have a problem with dealing with people. I can put up a fake personality in that situation just fine. What I can't change is how I feel inside and how much I prefer to be alone.
Question. Is this enervating fog which is induced by close encounter of a stranger something unique to me? Do the experts recognize this description? Does this reaction have a name?
i understand the limitations of youtube self-help and i don't want to push or pull anyone else into speculation or worse. This kind of allergic reaction is real though. No one else seems to be talking about it. Certainly not the experts.
An example. i have a serious physical health problem and should see a specialist. i know what i want to say and what i need to ask, but in the presence of the doctor i go blank. i feel like an idiot afterwards because i made such a bad presentation. So then i cannot go back for another visit. i can't do that to myself again.
People are mentioning anxiety and low self esteem, etc. as if these are the only obstacles; and then claim that these things can be treated by some textbook method.
i have these things too, but i am also allergic to people, though i can fall in love at a distance. Close contact with strangers produces a strong feeling of confusion, discomfort, fatigue, inability to think and talk. People are a like depressant, but i want to be accepted, trusted, loved by them. i can only fantasize acceptance.
I always used to think I was just odd. Now it turns out it's a condition. Not only do the symptoms seemlessly match me, the information I obtained about this disorder also completely spells out my life and personality and answers every question I ever had about either.
Anyway, I'm happy to know it's actually a condition, so not completely my fault. This makes it a lot easier to say 'I have no friends', 'I never had a girlfriend' or even 'I hide out on the freaking toilet on school'.
AVPD is serious SHIT, this is alot more extreme than say social anxiety. I've met many SA who have great jobs, live in flat shares, have friends and relationship but are just shy. AVPD takes it to a whole diff. level. Long term intervention i heard is req.
I'm in my freshman year of high school and I hate it. I've considered suicide at least a dozen times this year, all because I have this type of personality. Every day before school and at lunch I find a table where no one is sitting and just sit there by myself for as long as I can.
@wallywag16 Hi Wally, that sounds crap, having to sit around at a lunch table on your own. When I was in high school, I would bring a sandwich and wait for the library to re-open, and I'd spend my lunch there, exploring the books. AVPD has become somewhat more manageable in my 20s, I can at least "fake" not being this way, for a bit. It got a lot better. I had had suicidal thoughts in high school too. I'm glad I didn't follow through with them. You can always drop me a line if you need to talk.
@wallywag16 Well I'm in the third year of high school (17½ y/o) and I used to do the same. When I was in the 7th grade (12 y/o) I was always sitting on my own, even though others sort of invited me. Others asked me why I did so. So did I. After that I cherished the moments in which I had someone to spend the breaks with, otherwise I'd wander the hallways alone. I spent breaks of the last 2½ years isolating myself on a toilet. Now it turns out to be a condition. I take it you can relate to this?
@wallywag16 But instead of considering suicide I just accepted being odd. Or 'avoidant', to be exactly. The times I did consider so (well, times, it was more like a continious flow) it was because of other causes. Things on top of the consequences of this condition.
Well, she listed all of my personality traits.....
I have an aunt who thinks I have a mental disorder. I was hoping to prove her wrong. But then I stumbled upon an article about this disorder on Wikipedia, which led me to this video....
This happens because assholes (aka bullies) tease you and make fun of you. I hope all bullies either die or realize how much damage and hurt they cause others. No point in me getting angry at them now but it sure is hard to get out of this "disorder". All the best to everyone.
Vodka is the only think i know to do when it comes to socialising, i have been on several types of Anti Depressents and they have just made me get into fights
she seems a little derisive about them not having friends lol. every personality has its weakness i'd say love what you have and that you're different and be happy about that
@Joeyal123 Yeah me too. I wonder if this has something to do with my low sex drive. My partner got frustrated with me since he said I don't initiate and the woman on here said something about not initiating friendship. But I also suffer from depression.
I have this, normally i'm quiet and don't like starting conversation and being in a situation where a lot of attention is brought to me, but when i'm drunk i'm very talkative and outgoing because the alcohol numbs all my social inhibitions. After a recent trip away i've learnt to accept who i am as a person, ive noticed all the extroverts that i know are either as depressed or more depressed than me.
I'll never be that outgoing guy thats the centre of attention and i'm fine and happy with that
Surely if you keep labelling these personality disorders, you'll create a disorder for every living person! Life is complex. Were all just living the life we've been given.
@AloofPeregrine And if they still complain (because the drug didn't magically stop their lifestyle from sucking by anyone's standards, surprise surprise) they just increase the dose or pick a different one with worse side effects.
3:13, it feels soooo good, to hear this from a perosn who knows the facts!
my therapist allways refused to agree, that woman can get away with being shy and all this without getting rejected. as a man you have to be strong and being able to feed a certain picture. if you fail, you will get rejected!
@sozialeisolation true.Males can get away with being shy too,in some instances,but its always harder for males,as female typically seek guys who are non-shy to take the lead.If you have some fag tendencies,it will be harder also,as females prefer the masculine(or even macho)confidence found more often in non-shy males.This is a fixable problem though.
@IwontConform, fixable problem? what for? for the stupidity of womans, who are not able to use their brain properly? we´re NOT living in the stone age!
Typical psychiatrist. Condescending, with no idea or interest in actually guiding these people through their problems in a systematic matter, just drug em up with some fucking beta blockers.
i have alot of the symptoms , not extremely, and some other problems socially.i was wondering how to tell if ive got it or not. theres only certain people i can communicate calmly with, i hide my feeling from others even my own friends and family , no one knows how i actually feel.........
mm.. I've had this problem forever. I don't know how to go about diagnosing this without my parents' knowledge. so I've decided that i'm gonna save up some money and go to the plaza near my school where there is a little clinic and ask if they can help me diagnose it.
if this gives you any ideas, then i'm glad i helped. if not... sorry dude :/
@inabeautifulplace thanks for the advice , but i wouldnt know where to go exactly and i dont have the means to get there , not to mention i have a fear of hospitals and etc. , i dont want to have to tell my mom ,she has a hard time understanding stuff so i would have to go into great detail to her and i dont think i could do that
ugh same here. every time i try to explain this to someone on yahoo! answers or a chat, they don't understand what my mom is like - how i cannot tell her at all .. that's why I'm going at lunch time at this place near my school. (near my school because i can't drive)
i know that if this place didn't exist i'd be in the exact same position as you so I understand. sucks.
but i have this site that might help. it's called dmlive.com - it's free and the "hope coaches" just listen to you
Haven't left my house or seen anyone outside of my immediate family in nearly 3years. My sibling thinks im just being a little bitch about the whole thing, he doesn't understand. This shit truly sucks and the worst part is I KNOW that this fear I have is completely irrational and ridiculous and yet I can't do anything about it.
thing is i know my personality isn't THAT bad. i think i can be funny and thoughtful but.. i'll come face to face with somebody i know i could get along with and my brain freezes up. my family thinks i'm a pompous little freak going through a phase but tbh i've always been like this.
i just haven't been diagnosed yet. i feel like screaming YES at my screen reading and hearing bout these symptoms, all i have to do is diagnose it, then i can feel deservedly sorry for myself.
I think the description of AVPD in this video is mostly accurate,but it seems like they always exaggerate the shyness aspect.Of course,its important to remember,that while AVPD sufferers may share common symptoms,their individual behaviors or coping mechanisms may be unique to them,and the severity of certain features may vary also.Some AVPD sufferers,for example,can actually be functioning members of society,while others may live like agoraphobics and seldom leave the house.
I live in a small country in Scandinavia where the whole population could be defined as fitting the profile of this disorder, though obviously in a smaller degree (or they'd be unable to survive as a nation), but it's noticeable to others and various writers over the centuries have remarked on certain of the more obvious details (as has Hans Christian Andersen, who was himself a native citizen here)... It's quite interesting to see how personality types can vaguely apply to a whole nation.
With all these disorders I must ask if anyone is actually sane? It would seem that everyone has some kind of disorder, but this keeps the Psychologists hanging onto the green tree I guess!
i disagree. do you have these symptoms? to the point where you can relate to the extreme cases she's describing? sounds to me like you don't from the way you're talking, so i'll stick to that presumption (so forgive me if it's not true).
but anyway .. as someone who can relate, I'm happy for the studies, treatments and awareness that have resulted from these good for nothing psychologists just trying to earn a dollar.
@inabeautifulplace Having been treated by one or two, and obtained requested medical reports from them, I won't go into detail but nothing criminal, I found it strange that the legal system regards their "professional findings" as worthless and without merit! How do you explain that?
I believe my APD is from a combination of perfectionist parents and school age rejection/judgement and being very small and skinny as a girl/teen in a competitive community. God bless the people who loved me as i was, unconditionally. God loves us just as we are, paranoid, self-doubting or otherwise. Bless you all and hang in there. Those who criticize and judge us (other than ourselves) are just trying to take attention off themselves and their own shortcomings.
I tend to avoid certain people and situations, too, and sometimes I lie to cover my tracks if I do something that I feel is my right to do but I don't want to get anyone upset with me and make me feel punished. I act this way because my dad is an emotionally abusive control freak who is quick to anger and slow to forgive and has very little if any patience and understanding. He is always picking on me, so I have to hide things from him to avoid is wrath. I'm not valued as a human being at all.
@DollMommy10 I really feel for you when I read your words. I grew up in a similar environment and at the time could never make sence of it, my confusion was overwhelming at times and continued on into my 30's trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I was looking at it backwards. They put stuff on us they have no right to but no doubt it is how they learned to comunicate in their youth.....our only defense is to look deep within and see the beauty that is there and always has been!
I have been diagnosed with this and I believe that there is a cause. I beleive that it has alot to do with trauma or emotional/physical abuse in childhood. This video is confusing to me because it seems to me she is saying there is no reasoning behind it, it just it. There is a cause and I feel it is important for those of us who have it to know it so that we can understand ourselves better and work on getting better. We are not feeling these feelings for no reason....THERE IS A CAUSE!
@HeidiJoanne34 I agree, I was also mock and teased from middle school all the way to high school. My own brother spread a rumor about me and turn me into an outcast.
I hear you, I had a sister that was pretty much the same among others in my family. I do know now though that it is their stuff and issues and have finally come to terms with it and dont take it on to myself anymore! Huge hurdle but one worth the effort to get over!
@HeidiJoanne34 I think there is as well, I do think its down to a traumatic social experience, or relationship trauma which then generalises to all people.
@TheSophist2007 I think you just hit it square on the head for most of us diagnosed with AVD, if not all. Sometimes it takes awhile to see the bigger picture of it all though eh. I'm finally seeing it after 35 years and it's scary in a sence but it really feels amazing when it comes together and you start getting a better idea of who you are, who you always where!
@HeidiJoanne34 yup, its about changing those faulty fundamental beliefs of self criticism, which is mostly of our own creation and exageration. we only look for the bad in social experience. I believe my own fundamental faulty belief was that I was a bad personwhich came from an earlier experience. and I generalised this to everyone, no matter how small was confirming this and brought out the pain of this belief. Which then leads to avoision of social situations altogether where possible.
@HeidiJoanne34 which then leads to depression and suicidal tendencies if AvPD is not dealt with. It was like every day I was carrying a huge burden on my shoulders with other people and the only solace was to be away from them. even though this was contradictory to what I really want which is to get along with people, make friends and be happy
@TheSophist2007 sounds to me that you have a whole lot of insight into the situation you are in and that makes me smile for you. For me once I finally wrapped my head around the fact that I am in control of me and I can change my patterns by changing how I think about things it was like hope handed to me wrapped up in a pretty big bow for the fist time in my life. We have no control when we are little, we learn what we learn from the people in charge who are supposed to love us...
thanks .. therapy is probably unlikely for me but i'm doing my best to find my way to a doctor without my mum finding out. that prolly won't do much for me, but the book seems like a good idea.
i think the emotional trauma varies a lot but it is there inside every avpd.
me, nothing big happened but as a kid everybody in my family left me out of social gatherings (especially my sisters) telling me not to make a fool of myself because i was just a little kid and no one cared about my opinion. they did not word it like this, but i definitely got the message.
i have this and i absolutely hate it so much :( makes me want to cry right now
jujitsumon 2 days ago
normal people are your enemies
ProJanitor 3 days ago
A person with APD always has people in their life that feeds the disorder. Get away from those people. Don't listen to them. APD people are very sensitive to other's opinions and actions that it cripples them. Get you some good friends that build you up. Get the trash talkers out of your life. If you want to smell garbage don't ever take it out of your life. You must also realize who the real enemy is. Read the Bible.
Kyjo34 6 days ago
I sometimes think for the person with avoidant personality it would be better to move away from all family. It depends on who in your life is putting the pressure on you. I have a dad that was not easy to please because he was so much into worldly titles and money that I think my life would of been so much better if I would of moved far away from him when I got married. Satan used this man many times to bring me down. I am now ready to face this demon in my life by God's help.
Kyjo34 6 days ago
If you don't ask or make time each day for God then you will continue to live with this disorder. YOu have to learn to please God and forget the world's approval rating on your life. Move if you have to, get away from those that keep you feeling bad. Start new and keep negative people out of your circle. Get away from those that make you feel so bad about yourself. Or stand up and put them in their place. Time to quit running and start standing on the word of God.
Kyjo34 6 days ago
I have lived with avoidant personality 4 37 years and it has effected my life to the point I wanted to die many times. My life got smaller and smaller through the years. Too busy thinking how I looked to the outside world and what a failure my life was. Read the Bible and see that this avoidant personality is just a trick of Satan 2 keep you distracted from finding the truth. Get out your pen and paper and write down a list of things you need from God and ask him everyday for it. Read his word.
Kyjo34 6 days ago
What if you just dont like people?
303Miles 1 week ago
I had this all my life, was born with it. Nothing my parents did, my uncle had this and so i inherited it. It like you have a voice in your head telling you 24/7 what a screw up you are. You can't handle rejection of any kind. You find that if you are alone that no one can hurt you. You don't think you have anything anyone would want so you just avoid the future pain of getting hurt so you just have one friend or a family member to talk to. Don't know how to socialize, don't know what to say.
Kyjo34 1 week ago
@Kyjo34 I think you just have to practice and experience socializing often to come back to being sociable.
codename7000 6 days ago
@codename7000 I think you are wrong. The more I try to socialize the more I want to hide. I am getting help from God. God is opening my eyes to a lot of things. I need more social interaction with God. I have been a people pleaser all my life, and when I couldn't please or make happy I would shut down and hide for fear of rejection. I am finally with God's help starting to care less of what people think of my life. Worldly titles and approval can wreck a person's view of themselves.
Kyjo34 6 days ago
@Kyjo34 Well its the opposite for me. The more I socialize the better I become with socializing. But if God works for you than go right ahead and do that way.
codename7000 5 days ago
@codename7000 God is the key to getting over this avoidant personality disorder. When you don't care so much about people's approval you get free, finally free to live your life the way you want to live it. When you arise above the world and their expectations and pressure on you, you finally taste freedom to be yourself. Satan puts thoughts of pleasing others and then he makes it impossibel for you to please and then he sits back and watches you suffer trying to do the impossible.
Kyjo34 6 days ago
This is me 100%.. Only I enjoy talking to people only when they're on my side or helping me. If they are being negative, combative, critical of me, I'm done with them. I dont want to talk to them, look at them, and I will avoid them at all cost. Maybe even forever. I'm very envious so friends/close relatives are limited. And I cant get up and present something without reading directly from note cards. I don't mind people being mad at me, as long as I dont have to be around them :) So what am I?
1SexiNici 2 weeks ago
This cunt speaks exactly like a textbook. Boring.
BoyMonarch 3 weeks ago
@BoyMonarch Boring comment. Uninformative. gtfo
skating1611 2 weeks ago
@BoyMonarch no need for that type of language, come on man.
boogiecat55 2 weeks ago
I have this disorder, but I wasn't really shy as a kid. I made friends with populair kids and with bullied kids. I just didn't want to be part of a click or something. when my less populair friends were bullied, I stood up for them. I only found out that I have this disorder when I had therapy when I was 23. I can't work because of this. I like to stay at home and have 1 good friend who I know since I was young.
black4pienus 1 month ago
I often think of myself as being akward or weird, I dont feel like I'm normal, I have no self esteem, I'm a freak. When I hear kids in my school say "there so socially akward" it really hits me, it makes me feel stupid. I feel like throwing up every morning before school. I get really nervous when I have one on one conversation with people I dont know well, I stumble over words and sound like a fool. I hate myself!
rosegirl8898 1 month ago
Can someone tell me what a normal person is like? Even chicken eggs look different why should everybody be and act alike? It seems that every type of behavior nowdays is called a "disorder"
ainanor 1 month ago 2
@ainanor this is called a disorder because it prevents you from functioning in daily life.
black4pienus 1 month ago 2
I have this disorder and I'm literally living in my personal effing hell. I rarely get out of the house unless I have to attend a class. This has also led to UNBELIEVABLE amounts of stress and thoughts of suicide. I'm extremely self conscious, even though people compliment me all the time-even strangers. I fear to death ANYTHING that involves my being criticized or evaluated.
ohwelI 1 month ago 5
@ohwelI I think I'll end up forever alone because of that, since my social skills are practically non-existent. (which is a thought that's driving me crazy too) Also I don't think I'll ever find and/or keep a good job, despite my education and skills. Damn! I wonder how I'll ever get out of this fucking hell. I really hope it won't lead me to take my f*ing life. If anyone has been cured from this, please share some advice.
ohwelI 1 month ago
I think the only cure for AVPD is to have a "go 2 hell ppl" attitude, once u think u r less than ppl try this , sometimes it works =]
imanameen25 1 month ago
@imanameen25 Hmm..close. It's really about having the understanding that how people feel about you or how circumstances affect you, you are not going to have 100% control over. Ever. From there, it's about accepting the situations as they are and knowing what you CAN do. Then, the pressure's off and you can finally act yourself (mostly) without fear. This is coming from a person speaking from personal experience.
RepostCentral 1 month ago
When I was in high school the teachers would sometimes set up the desks where everyone is facing the center of the classroom. In occasions such as these I would be sitting, reluctantly, near the white board where the teacher would teach the majority of the class. I would become extremely anxious and would tilt my head forward and my jaws would clench. I would also begin crying in some circumstances. I can hardly be around large groups without these same feelings happening.
dalhar20 1 month ago
"These People"??? you're incredibly empathetic Doc
Pisces2four7 2 months ago
i want to socialise but i don't like people.... wtf i hardly ever leave my house i get agoraphobia aswell i got put on disability because of all this shit the bi polar over laps the Avpd not fun at all !
serebruss1 2 months ago
i have this disorder and also bi polar my life feels like a trainwreck i wish i could be more like a schizoid less emotions and unstable moods and not caring about socialisng or feeling the need to interact with others i do like being by my self just to feel at ease though !
serebruss1 2 months ago
I just don't like people.
suzsiz 2 months ago
@suzsiz Neither do I.
EdenNyan 2 months ago
@suzsiz
Don't like people, or do you feel anxiety. I always feel terribly anxious around people, so I don't know if I "don't like" people, or simply fear people. Maybe a combination of both, but fear is a bigger factor for me, I think.
Metsada007 2 months ago
@Metsada007 maybe you're right. Maybe its just a result of my anxiety. And because of that I'm not a people-person and I get a notion that I send out bad vibes that makes people flee, as a result of me feeling insecure, when people around me. I think people can notice these things, easily. Most people like happy and "dont-worry" people.
suzsiz 2 months ago
I think I might have this, any way to get this diagnosed or get help?
MrSuperstarsi 3 months ago
@MrSuperstarsi First you might wan't to talk to your doctor and/or make an appointment with a psychologist? It's probably not a great idea to rely on the internets or self-diagnoses.
adler2adler 3 months ago
What's the difference between this and social anxiety?
kasjamm 3 months ago
Is it possible to deteriorate from AvPD to Schizoid Disorder? I am terribly afraid that this is the new low for me.
Blitzbok 3 months ago
@Blitzbok it would be much easier being schizoid than this majority of them don't have a problem with there disorder they seem content .
serebruss1 2 months ago
got to admit that i have this disorder but my good friend is always on my side and
we keep on socializing other people until i have cured my disorder
danjoelabrenica 3 months ago
This is pretty close to how I am. I wonder if I have it o.O
meehalee21 3 months ago
The problem I'm having with my Avoidant Personality is that I suffer alone in silence. So nobody knows there's anything wrong with me. I guess something can be said of those who act out when they feel as miserable as Avoidants do, since at least they'll get the attention they need to get better.
user19191 4 months ago
@user19191 It gets really frustrating.
newyears912 4 months ago
@user19191 find a good psychiatrist theyre hard to find , but when you do they will help you to love your self like you should and not be so afraid, Im very scared to go places too ,but theraphy helps you to get through it hope things get better for you . Its a lonely feeling .
annahudson76 2 months ago
I don't think this is completely true, though a lot of it sounds about right. I wasn't shy as a child -- I was actually very talkative until I hit puberty. Now I've been suffering from severe social anxiety for over ten years. I dropped out of college because of this and struggle with even the smallest interactions at work each day. Sometimes even saying good morning to a coworker makes me nervous.
brunette477 4 months ago
@brunette477 God that sounds just like me.
RockaWear2183 2 months ago
That is not true at all. I was not shy as a child, no more than the next guy anyway, and if you asked anyone from my school days whether I was shy, most would say no. I have spent my life faking my confidence and focusing on self-improvement and in doing so, I have created a mask to cover who I really am. People who don't actually suffer from this have no clue what actually goes on. I can spend all day being 'realistic' and building up my confidence but it will all be gone the next morning.
AlpineViking91 4 months ago 3
I feel your pain. Im autistic, schizophrenic, I have capgras syndrome, and Im grounds for both borderline and avoidant (possibly schizoid, but probably not) personality disorders. Im 16 years old and my counsellors accused me of faking. So I hate them. The one person I trusted in my school to talk to just left for a new job. Im incapable of feeling emotion, but everyday i stab myself in my arm with a penic or pen 12 times praying to god that I'll feel happiness.It just hurts, Yet people judge me
snmaster 4 months ago
I totally have this but I'm a gay male and super attractive so I can get away with being shy and I will no doubt be asked out one day :)
HepburnFlicks 4 months ago
part of this disorder is perceiving slights where none are intended. excessive empathy is the codependents job
TheRCat 5 months ago
Psychiatrists like this, I love to hate. I can't stand listening to her almost computerized answers to the questions.
Chubzdoomer 5 months ago
just memorized nonsense
Maxtcarson 5 months ago
@MegaAngelbaby14 Well, then, that person is self-conscious if they believe there is something wrong with them when they themselves clearly don't see a problem until the doctor mentioned. I think it just happens to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
EsperTinaVI 5 months ago
She has no emotional connection to the concepts she's attempting to relate. She reminds me of a person talking to their pet, understanding doesn't matter so much as how saying them makes her feel.
skantea 5 months ago
@skantea
This one is more precise:
Youtube title: Psychology Australia - Avoidant Personality Disorder
skantea 5 months ago
@MegaAngelbaby14 You fail to understand what a disorder is. Even if you have the typical symptoms of a disorder it's not a disorder unless you or someone has a problem with it. A disorder is not a disorder until it's a problem, causing harm to you, yourself, or others around you. Just having the symptoms doesn't mean you have anything, unless those "symptoms" are interfering with yours, or another's life.
EsperTinaVI 6 months ago
@MegaAngelbaby14 the thing is that people with aviodant personality disorder are EXTREMELY HYPERSENSETIVE to about almost every social situation, one mistake can be mentaly devistating and even if the social encounter is sucessful, the amount of stress it takes to appear normal becomes mentaly and physicaly exhausting.
vice2vursa 6 months ago
@MegaAngelbaby14 I agree.
stayrussh 6 months ago
You didn't have to be a shy child to have APD. That's retarded
iowntwocats 6 months ago
@MegaAngelbaby14 i know like! its ridiculous i would much rather concentrate on actually getting somewhere with my life instead of being a slutty ho like most people tell me i should be like. getting pissed every weekend and getting layed is...well pointless lol. i agree with everything you just said lol :) x
midnightstarfright 6 months ago
WTF IS WRONG WITH HER EYES....TO BE SOOOO CONFINDENT SHE SURE CANT LOOK INTO THE CAMERA....AND SHE SHOWS MANY SIGNS OF FEELING NEGATIVE TOWARDS PEOPLE WITH DISORDERS INSTEAD OF COMPASSION. SHE THINGS SHE IS SEPERATE FROM THE WHOLE. WE ARE ONE AND THIS LADY DOESNT EVEN KNOW HERSLEF. LOOK AT OSHO IF YOU WANT TO SEE A PERSON WITH NO EGO AND WHO CARES FOR ALL PEOPLE. THIS LADY IS SWITCHING PERSONALITYS BEFORE YOUR EYES. LET YOUR HEART TELL YOU THE TRUTH.
codean5150 7 months ago
It's like she describes me as if she knows everything about me. How? Can anybody know the personal hell when I keep it to myself? Why am I like this... I havent been happy for so many years...
bignickdigger89 7 months ago 16
sounds like an INFJ and an INFP
TheJasonDR 7 months ago
I like staying at home, I don't go out much because I don't like to socialize. I don't want people to see me, I'm very self-conscious and I hate myself. I hate that that I'm always shy and when people look at me, I'm always wondering what they're thinking. If anyone says anything negative to me, I'll just be hurt inside. I ask myself why was I born this way? I hate it when "normal" people make fun of those with personality disorders. You're not in our shoes, so don't judge.
clover220 7 months ago 47
@clover220 i feel for you, i too prefer to stay in my own company the majority of the time because i just generally hate being around other people.im a fuck up. people allways look at me like i have a flashing light on my head saying 'hey look at me, laugh and give me evils all the time like i dont care'. im very emotional even my parents saying stuff like your being lazy today can send me to my room crying. and yes 'normal' people are fuckers... if you want someone to talk to, im here :)
midnightstarfright 7 months ago 2
@midnightstarfright Yes exactly, I can relate to what you're saying. Even when my family says things that I consider negative, it's a pain for me. And you're right, "normal" people are fuckers. Believe me, I like staying at home. I fantasize about being accepted and wish I was someone else but we can't cure this disorder because it's who we are and we just have to try our best to control it since it is our personality. It's good to know someone else like you is just like me :)
clover220 7 months ago 2
@clover220 yeah it is just who we are, theres nothing wrong with it yet people seem to dislike us more than someone who would go sleeping around with every person on the planet and i realy dont get why. what ive learnt to come to is that anyone who looks down at you for being 'different' is not worth bothering with at all. is it suddenly wrong to be extremally shy and just want to be accepted? :/
by the way, love your profile pic, lisa was a awsome girl in girl interrupted ;) x
midnightstarfright 7 months ago 3
@midnightstarfright
Define "normal".l
911patagonia 6 months ago
@911patagonia hmm yeah i guess i shouldnt have used that word since there is no real 'normal'. what i ment was people who fit the general mark in society, the ones that everyones friends with, the ones that get allong with eacother, the ones who talk/ socialise, the ones that seem to have a perfectly happy and ordinary life...thats my definition of normal people, i suppose its different for all people though, i just dont like it when they look down at me like a pile of crap for the way i am...
midnightstarfright 6 months ago
@midnightstarfright
People have far more problems than you realize, even though they may look "happy" or "normal". Vernon Howard has some insight on that - he makes a lot of sense - one video here a4xw55paXXY
911patagonia 6 months ago 2
@clover220 We all Got issues,. But many times, when people stare at us, they usually arnt thinking much about us. Its called "Spotlight effect" or something like that. Most people have this, but varies in levels. Most people think that people pay more attention of them than they really do... I think thats kinda true i guess. If not, then im shitting bricks.
98765432123456789000 4 months ago
@clover220 @clover220 I feel your pain. Im autistic, schizophrenic, I have capgras syndrome, and Im grounds for both borderline and avoidant (possibly schizoid, but probably not) personality disorders. Im 16 years old and my counsellors accused me of faking. So I hate them. The one person I trusted in my school to talk to just left for a new job. Im incapable of feeling emotion, but everyday i stab myself in my arm with a penic or pen 12 times praying to god that I'll feel happiness.
snmaster 4 months ago
@clover220 Good news for you, your condition is one of the easy ones to treat. All you have to do is increase positive socialization and boom you're on your way to feeling better and being mentally stable. I know because I have a same issue with the same disorder. Even though its really hard to live as someone that is passive and shy and depressed it is surprisingly easy to get out of it compared to other disorders. But I could be wrong.
thesparitan 4 months ago
@clover220 I'm almost in the same position. Only that I do stuff that forces me to be in front of a crowd, but at the same time, I'm probably the most uncomfortable person in the entire room. I can't have fun at a social gathering unless i'm kind of drunk, and my mind is off of my mind. you have a slightly different attitude though, towards others. criticism does hurt, and i'm very cruel to myself, but I want to be those "normal" people. making fun,as much as i hate it, is human nature.
guitarnoob16 4 months ago
@clover220 Define "normal" please..
meehalee21 3 months ago
@clover220 You just read my mind. I have Avoidant Personality and...it's just horrible.
RockaWear2183 2 months ago
I heard the descriptions of social anxiety disorder, shyness, avoidant personality disorder, and introvertersion. Either I have all of them or they each have similar descriptions/explanations.
Naidalis1 8 months ago
I think that this lady is very informative and has an objective type of descriptiveness when talking about the various disorders. She seems sympathetic and genuinely concerned about people, while giving factual basics about the disorders. I don't feel any condescending attitude at all. I would think that being a psychiatrist would mean that you would have to keep yourself from getting emotionally involved with the people you treat to make it an effective treatment.
Bobbied100 8 months ago
@Bobbied100 I think your assessment is fair. There is a great deal of anger directed at this doctor who is attempting to educate the public to PDs and help those who suffer from them.
dressupjesus 6 months ago
avoiding the terror of presenting yourself... well that is part of the stage fright of so many super stars or exposures of that magnitude do not fit in this ccategory
LohengrinT 8 months ago
Comment removed
shannow77 8 months ago
Ughhhh why can't I have narcissistic, histrionic or borderline personality disorder instead.
desthmoneses 8 months ago 2
as tragic as it is,this is so typical me it made me laugh
leniboda 9 months ago
i might have this not sure. I was treated for social anxiety but got very little help through the medical system. I hate how she says there is nothing you can do. This is false. The best thing you can do for yourself is to face your fears in a safe setting. I have improved greatly from continuously working on myself. Try observing your mind and your fears and ask yourself what is the worst that can happen and how will you deal with it if it does.
loveacarrot 9 months ago
I think what can cause this disorder is having a parent that has narcissistic personality disorder..that's definitely a possibility! oh yeahhhhh ...experience lol
snoopsie 10 months ago
@snoopsie I think you may be on to something....my father is very narcissistic but I wouldn't classify him as being at the personality disorder level. Growing up it was very hard to meet his expectations and I felt that I could never be unconditionally accepted by him. I was always afraid that I would get yelled at and shunned if I wanted to do something that didn't agree with his liking. I'm a very social person but I still have tendencies to avoid conflict and criticism. I'm working on it.
gmccord1970 9 months ago
Excellent video documenting the challenge of thinking too much in the context of unpredictable variables... "She might not really like me if she knows who I am." Avoidant individuals do much better in the context of predictable reality, no change. I have treated it successfully for years as Avoidant often exists in the context of too much thinking and diminished executive function associated with no less than ADHD - see here: j55GkfiZbDY
DrCharlesParker 10 months ago
I was bullied at school and neglected at home.
I cannot put on a brave face or pretend to having fun when i feel like death warmed up.
I have been prescribed betablockers and at first the worked but i have found that when i have been exposed to anxiety triggers,it has wiped out the benefit.
BLUESGUITARMANIAC 10 months ago
It's not that I have a problem with dealing with people. I can put up a fake personality in that situation just fine. What I can't change is how I feel inside and how much I prefer to be alone.
StatuesBleedingGreen 10 months ago
Question. Is this enervating fog which is induced by close encounter of a stranger something unique to me? Do the experts recognize this description? Does this reaction have a name?
i understand the limitations of youtube self-help and i don't want to push or pull anyone else into speculation or worse. This kind of allergic reaction is real though. No one else seems to be talking about it. Certainly not the experts.
malexandrec 11 months ago
An example. i have a serious physical health problem and should see a specialist. i know what i want to say and what i need to ask, but in the presence of the doctor i go blank. i feel like an idiot afterwards because i made such a bad presentation. So then i cannot go back for another visit. i can't do that to myself again.
malexandrec 11 months ago
People are mentioning anxiety and low self esteem, etc. as if these are the only obstacles; and then claim that these things can be treated by some textbook method.
i have these things too, but i am also allergic to people, though i can fall in love at a distance. Close contact with strangers produces a strong feeling of confusion, discomfort, fatigue, inability to think and talk. People are a like depressant, but i want to be accepted, trusted, loved by them. i can only fantasize acceptance.
malexandrec 11 months ago
I always used to think I was just odd. Now it turns out it's a condition. Not only do the symptoms seemlessly match me, the information I obtained about this disorder also completely spells out my life and personality and answers every question I ever had about either.
Anyway, I'm happy to know it's actually a condition, so not completely my fault. This makes it a lot easier to say 'I have no friends', 'I never had a girlfriend' or even 'I hide out on the freaking toilet on school'.
DrsJacksonn 11 months ago
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Lanii2000 1 year ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
I want this bitch to suck my dick. YEAH! Love asians.
vincentprice121 1 year ago
AVPD is serious SHIT, this is alot more extreme than say social anxiety. I've met many SA who have great jobs, live in flat shares, have friends and relationship but are just shy. AVPD takes it to a whole diff. level. Long term intervention i heard is req.
elephantwig 1 year ago
I'm in my freshman year of high school and I hate it. I've considered suicide at least a dozen times this year, all because I have this type of personality. Every day before school and at lunch I find a table where no one is sitting and just sit there by myself for as long as I can.
wallywag16 1 year ago
@wallywag16 Does your school have a counselor? Discuss your feelings and get referrals for treatment. Have faith that things can get better.
bourbonstmc 1 year ago
@wallywag16 Hi Wally, that sounds crap, having to sit around at a lunch table on your own. When I was in high school, I would bring a sandwich and wait for the library to re-open, and I'd spend my lunch there, exploring the books. AVPD has become somewhat more manageable in my 20s, I can at least "fake" not being this way, for a bit. It got a lot better. I had had suicidal thoughts in high school too. I'm glad I didn't follow through with them. You can always drop me a line if you need to talk.
hilby 1 year ago
@hilby The opposite way around for me :(
Blitzbok 1 year ago
@wallywag16 Well I'm in the third year of high school (17½ y/o) and I used to do the same. When I was in the 7th grade (12 y/o) I was always sitting on my own, even though others sort of invited me. Others asked me why I did so. So did I. After that I cherished the moments in which I had someone to spend the breaks with, otherwise I'd wander the hallways alone. I spent breaks of the last 2½ years isolating myself on a toilet. Now it turns out to be a condition. I take it you can relate to this?
DrsJacksonn 11 months ago
@wallywag16 But instead of considering suicide I just accepted being odd. Or 'avoidant', to be exactly. The times I did consider so (well, times, it was more like a continious flow) it was because of other causes. Things on top of the consequences of this condition.
DrsJacksonn 11 months ago
Well, she listed all of my personality traits.....
I have an aunt who thinks I have a mental disorder. I was hoping to prove her wrong. But then I stumbled upon an article about this disorder on Wikipedia, which led me to this video....
inneruniverse17 1 year ago
This happens because assholes (aka bullies) tease you and make fun of you. I hope all bullies either die or realize how much damage and hurt they cause others. No point in me getting angry at them now but it sure is hard to get out of this "disorder". All the best to everyone.
ferdo621 1 year ago
Vodka is the only think i know to do when it comes to socialising, i have been on several types of Anti Depressents and they have just made me get into fights
Joeyal123 1 year ago 2
God damn she's explaining my personality exactly. :/ I don't think mine is full-on personality disorder though.
fWo 1 year ago 3
she seems a little derisive about them not having friends lol. every personality has its weakness i'd say love what you have and that you're different and be happy about that
numberStew 1 year ago
@numberStew Haha, its true though. My only social network is the guy I have known for over a decade that lives down the street from me.
JesusforLife2 1 year ago
this disorder has ruined my life and made me lonely i wish someone would just find me and ask me out
punkgabe 1 year ago
@punkgabe im with you man this disroder has made me very bitter toward people
Joeyal123 1 year ago
@Joeyal123 Yeah me too. I wonder if this has something to do with my low sex drive. My partner got frustrated with me since he said I don't initiate and the woman on here said something about not initiating friendship. But I also suffer from depression.
LuV4RoBnFaB 1 year ago
I have this, normally i'm quiet and don't like starting conversation and being in a situation where a lot of attention is brought to me, but when i'm drunk i'm very talkative and outgoing because the alcohol numbs all my social inhibitions. After a recent trip away i've learnt to accept who i am as a person, ive noticed all the extroverts that i know are either as depressed or more depressed than me.
I'll never be that outgoing guy thats the centre of attention and i'm fine and happy with that
monarofreak 1 year ago
I would not want her to be my doctor
DynastyRiderez 1 year ago
Surely if you keep labelling these personality disorders, you'll create a disorder for every living person! Life is complex. Were all just living the life we've been given.
chrisozzy 1 year ago
I;m also afraid that I;ll be seen as awkward because I can't think of a thing to say to people, coupled with a fear pof criticism...
KautiousKat 1 year ago
Excuse me for not wanting to communicate with Psychic Vampires, as if!!!!
pisces247 1 year ago
i have bad case of this problem,its
awful
totoole67 1 year ago
@AloofPeregrine And if they still complain (because the drug didn't magically stop their lifestyle from sucking by anyone's standards, surprise surprise) they just increase the dose or pick a different one with worse side effects.
username8234 1 year ago
socialphobiaplanetdotcom :) APD too!
AimeebabyUK 1 year ago
This disorder practically controls and ruins your life! /:
ughh! it sucks,
SuicideSue21 1 year ago
3:13, it feels soooo good, to hear this from a perosn who knows the facts!
my therapist allways refused to agree, that woman can get away with being shy and all this without getting rejected. as a man you have to be strong and being able to feed a certain picture. if you fail, you will get rejected!
sozialeisolation 1 year ago 2
@sozialeisolation true.Males can get away with being shy too,in some instances,but its always harder for males,as female typically seek guys who are non-shy to take the lead.If you have some fag tendencies,it will be harder also,as females prefer the masculine(or even macho)confidence found more often in non-shy males.This is a fixable problem though.
IwontConform 1 year ago
@IwontConform, fixable problem? what for? for the stupidity of womans, who are not able to use their brain properly? we´re NOT living in the stone age!
sozialeisolation 1 year ago
Typical psychiatrist. Condescending, with no idea or interest in actually guiding these people through their problems in a systematic matter, just drug em up with some fucking beta blockers.
username8234 1 year ago 30
What a fcuking cunt.
username8234 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
What a fucking cvnt.
username8234 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
What a fucking cunt.
username8234 1 year ago
What a fucking cunt.
username8234 1 year ago
i have alot of the symptoms , not extremely, and some other problems socially.i was wondering how to tell if ive got it or not. theres only certain people i can communicate calmly with, i hide my feeling from others even my own friends and family , no one knows how i actually feel.........
44mada 1 year ago
@44mada
mm.. I've had this problem forever. I don't know how to go about diagnosing this without my parents' knowledge. so I've decided that i'm gonna save up some money and go to the plaza near my school where there is a little clinic and ask if they can help me diagnose it.
if this gives you any ideas, then i'm glad i helped. if not... sorry dude :/
inabeautifulplace 1 year ago
@inabeautifulplace thanks for the advice , but i wouldnt know where to go exactly and i dont have the means to get there , not to mention i have a fear of hospitals and etc. , i dont want to have to tell my mom ,she has a hard time understanding stuff so i would have to go into great detail to her and i dont think i could do that
44mada 1 year ago
@44mada
ugh same here. every time i try to explain this to someone on yahoo! answers or a chat, they don't understand what my mom is like - how i cannot tell her at all .. that's why I'm going at lunch time at this place near my school. (near my school because i can't drive)
i know that if this place didn't exist i'd be in the exact same position as you so I understand. sucks.
but i have this site that might help. it's called dmlive.com - it's free and the "hope coaches" just listen to you
inabeautifulplace 1 year ago
Haven't left my house or seen anyone outside of my immediate family in nearly 3years. My sibling thinks im just being a little bitch about the whole thing, he doesn't understand. This shit truly sucks and the worst part is I KNOW that this fear I have is completely irrational and ridiculous and yet I can't do anything about it.
E13Greengategoon 1 year ago 4
sorry dude.
thing is i know my personality isn't THAT bad. i think i can be funny and thoughtful but.. i'll come face to face with somebody i know i could get along with and my brain freezes up. my family thinks i'm a pompous little freak going through a phase but tbh i've always been like this.
i just haven't been diagnosed yet. i feel like screaming YES at my screen reading and hearing bout these symptoms, all i have to do is diagnose it, then i can feel deservedly sorry for myself.
inabeautifulplace 1 year ago
I think the description of AVPD in this video is mostly accurate,but it seems like they always exaggerate the shyness aspect.Of course,its important to remember,that while AVPD sufferers may share common symptoms,their individual behaviors or coping mechanisms may be unique to them,and the severity of certain features may vary also.Some AVPD sufferers,for example,can actually be functioning members of society,while others may live like agoraphobics and seldom leave the house.
IwontConform 1 year ago
Shit, this is me.
NoRulesInNam 1 year ago 2
I live in a small country in Scandinavia where the whole population could be defined as fitting the profile of this disorder, though obviously in a smaller degree (or they'd be unable to survive as a nation), but it's noticeable to others and various writers over the centuries have remarked on certain of the more obvious details (as has Hans Christian Andersen, who was himself a native citizen here)... It's quite interesting to see how personality types can vaguely apply to a whole nation.
Zhawq 1 year ago 2
The causes of APD: constant parental criticism, ridicule, neglect, and rejection.
DCFunBud 1 year ago 32
@DCFunBud So; Cause of APD : Emotional abuse. Seems I have APD. (Watches video to see what it is.)
Digiscat 7 months ago
Comment removed
CrappleFartini 1 year ago
With all these disorders I must ask if anyone is actually sane? It would seem that everyone has some kind of disorder, but this keeps the Psychologists hanging onto the green tree I guess!
kryckeestrooff 1 year ago
@kryckeestrooff
very true. This is just too much. We all have disorders it seems
glutamin111 1 year ago
@kryckeestrooff
i disagree. do you have these symptoms? to the point where you can relate to the extreme cases she's describing? sounds to me like you don't from the way you're talking, so i'll stick to that presumption (so forgive me if it's not true).
but anyway .. as someone who can relate, I'm happy for the studies, treatments and awareness that have resulted from these good for nothing psychologists just trying to earn a dollar.
inabeautifulplace 1 year ago
@inabeautifulplace Having been treated by one or two, and obtained requested medical reports from them, I won't go into detail but nothing criminal, I found it strange that the legal system regards their "professional findings" as worthless and without merit! How do you explain that?
kryckeestrooff 1 year ago
I believe my APD is from a combination of perfectionist parents and school age rejection/judgement and being very small and skinny as a girl/teen in a competitive community. God bless the people who loved me as i was, unconditionally. God loves us just as we are, paranoid, self-doubting or otherwise. Bless you all and hang in there. Those who criticize and judge us (other than ourselves) are just trying to take attention off themselves and their own shortcomings.
scoobysue100 1 year ago 3
Why was treatment she mentioned for Business meeting scenario?? I can't understand her clearly, if you know please tell me!!
F1REbomb 1 year ago
@F1REbomb Beta blockers are a common medication for anxiety symptoms and in controlling high blood pressure. Your doctor can prescribe them for you.
Jarn73 1 year ago
I tend to avoid certain people and situations, too, and sometimes I lie to cover my tracks if I do something that I feel is my right to do but I don't want to get anyone upset with me and make me feel punished. I act this way because my dad is an emotionally abusive control freak who is quick to anger and slow to forgive and has very little if any patience and understanding. He is always picking on me, so I have to hide things from him to avoid is wrath. I'm not valued as a human being at all.
DollMommy10 2 years ago 2
@DollMommy10 I really feel for you when I read your words. I grew up in a similar environment and at the time could never make sence of it, my confusion was overwhelming at times and continued on into my 30's trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I was looking at it backwards. They put stuff on us they have no right to but no doubt it is how they learned to comunicate in their youth.....our only defense is to look deep within and see the beauty that is there and always has been!
HeidiJoanne34 1 year ago
Im AvPD, but Im too shy to see a psychologist lol...
Does anyone wanna talk?
plz
GlobalWarningIsAMyth 2 years ago 3
@GlobalWarningIsAMyth
hahah.
see a psychologist. really.. do it. i think i have it and i've realized idgaf anymore and i'm gonna do it because i'm sick of not knowing.
i'm doing it soon.. soon soon soon.
just get over it and do it. really. just step inside and do it. hard to tell this to someone with avpd but just do it.
inabeautifulplace 1 year ago
I have been diagnosed with this and I believe that there is a cause. I beleive that it has alot to do with trauma or emotional/physical abuse in childhood. This video is confusing to me because it seems to me she is saying there is no reasoning behind it, it just it. There is a cause and I feel it is important for those of us who have it to know it so that we can understand ourselves better and work on getting better. We are not feeling these feelings for no reason....THERE IS A CAUSE!
HeidiJoanne34 2 years ago 5
@HeidiJoanne34 I agree, I was also mock and teased from middle school all the way to high school. My own brother spread a rumor about me and turn me into an outcast.
XSoulStormX 1 year ago
@XSoulStormX
I hear you, I had a sister that was pretty much the same among others in my family. I do know now though that it is their stuff and issues and have finally come to terms with it and dont take it on to myself anymore! Huge hurdle but one worth the effort to get over!
HeidiJoanne34 1 year ago
@XSoulStormX it comes to the old adage that children can be so cruel
TheSophist2007 1 year ago
@XSoulStormX
Kill your brother.
jk... or am I?
CleverDjembe 1 year ago
@HeidiJoanne34 I think there is as well, I do think its down to a traumatic social experience, or relationship trauma which then generalises to all people.
TheSophist2007 1 year ago
@TheSophist2007 I think you just hit it square on the head for most of us diagnosed with AVD, if not all. Sometimes it takes awhile to see the bigger picture of it all though eh. I'm finally seeing it after 35 years and it's scary in a sence but it really feels amazing when it comes together and you start getting a better idea of who you are, who you always where!
HeidiJoanne34 1 year ago
@HeidiJoanne34 yup, its about changing those faulty fundamental beliefs of self criticism, which is mostly of our own creation and exageration. we only look for the bad in social experience. I believe my own fundamental faulty belief was that I was a bad personwhich came from an earlier experience. and I generalised this to everyone, no matter how small was confirming this and brought out the pain of this belief. Which then leads to avoision of social situations altogether where possible.
TheSophist2007 1 year ago
@HeidiJoanne34 which then leads to depression and suicidal tendencies if AvPD is not dealt with. It was like every day I was carrying a huge burden on my shoulders with other people and the only solace was to be away from them. even though this was contradictory to what I really want which is to get along with people, make friends and be happy
TheSophist2007 1 year ago
@TheSophist2007 sounds to me that you have a whole lot of insight into the situation you are in and that makes me smile for you. For me once I finally wrapped my head around the fact that I am in control of me and I can change my patterns by changing how I think about things it was like hope handed to me wrapped up in a pretty big bow for the fist time in my life. We have no control when we are little, we learn what we learn from the people in charge who are supposed to love us...
HeidiJoanne34 1 year ago
@TheSophist2007
everything you said made me scream 'yes' in my head.
i'm so glad to hear everybody else's opinion on this page because you don't hear much about this in rl.
and i realize everything you've said, and i think i've always realized it but it doesn't help me adjust my mentality and i feel stuck.
inabeautifulplace 1 year ago
@inabeautifulplace Cognitive Behavioural therapy has helped , I suggest you do it, if you haven't already
TheSophist2007 1 year ago
@TheSophist2007
thanks .. therapy is probably unlikely for me but i'm doing my best to find my way to a doctor without my mum finding out. that prolly won't do much for me, but the book seems like a good idea.
genericusername337 1 year ago
@inabeautifulplace the feeling good handbook by david d burns seems good
TheSophist2007 1 year ago
@HeidiJoanne34
i think the emotional trauma varies a lot but it is there inside every avpd.
me, nothing big happened but as a kid everybody in my family left me out of social gatherings (especially my sisters) telling me not to make a fool of myself because i was just a little kid and no one cared about my opinion. they did not word it like this, but i definitely got the message.
so.
inabeautifulplace 1 year ago