fuck that shit marriage is like private property a bullshit to limit our freedom and well being as human, let us all shit on that system that sucks!!!!!!!! enough is enough.
I had a friend who insisted it is immoral to confess adultery to one's spouse. He said it's extremely selfish to relieve your guilt that way - you've committed adultery, you must bear the guilt yourself and not punish your innocent spouse by confession. If you can't live with yourself, the thing to do is *stop* the adultery, not burden your partner with knowledge of it.
@kweencessX Watchman Nee wrote that God permits divorce for the cause of adultery and the Church should not should stand in the way of such divorces. Adultery breaks the marriage bond and, as this couple said, if the adulterer is not broken, the marriage won't heal. If the unfaithful spouse is not repentant, the marriage will be miserable.
Is this woman okay in her head? I think not. I am sorry, but what she says from 4:15 - 4:30 made me laugh. I am sorry, but honey, didn't this man CHEAT ON YOU?! And he wants to make your marriage better? Smh. And what she says about "who in the world she is with-hold forgiveness..." HE CHEATED ON YOU! HE IS NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT! THAT IS WHY YOU ARE MARRIED! Man... they both need to shut up.
@kweencessX You said "Is she ok in the head?" so your only answer for infidelity is divorce? That is very immature. I do think there are times when divorce might be the only answer. But for many the marriage is actually better than before. The issues that were there have been dealt with and a lot of good can come of it.
@kodkid - For many? Where exactly are the statistics to prove this claim you are making? The truth is, many marriages actually end due to infidelity. Divorce is the only option for the majority. Have you ever been cheated on, or are YOU the one who cheated? You are too optimistic in viewing human beings. The truth is, people are assholes, selfish by nature, and very few ever change, even when they want to. I am glad that their marriage is "better" but why did it have to come from infidelity?
@kweencessX over 90% of marriages that survive infidelity do not end in divorce. But there are some things you must understand. Right now you sound VERY VERY hurt and wounded. And you CAN NOT forgive them within yourself. It will take time...maybe years for you to be able to forgive. Just remember God hates divorce. just because he allows it doesn't mean he likes it. For those marriages those are the ones that make a commetment to fixing what was broke.
@kweencessX Yes, I too was selfish in my marriage. My infedelity was emotional and so was my wifes. Hers came after mine. After I kissed another woman I felt more guilt and shame than I could handle and feel into a vicious pit for about a year and felt she deserved something better and pushed her away during this time. Cheating carries a very heavy burden. But once both get free from it both realize I DON'T EVER WANT TO GET EVEN CLOSE TO THAT AGAIN!
@kodkid - I just hate when the cheater makes it all about them. It is not all about you, in fact, it should not be about you at all until I say it can be. The way he restricts me from speaking about it because it hurts him, lol, like I want to feel the way I feel. I don't know. It's whatever. 8 months down the line I still cry daily and the pain seems to not be going away. Our circumstances are even more complicated. I don't know. It's whatever...
Well meaning Christians often underestimate the spiritual damage done by adultery, that it breaks the marriage bond. They then equate forgiveness with staying married. But one can forgive and still divorce. Often divorce is the most merciful choice; better than a lifetime of bitterness and misery.
@notdeceived its understandable that a spouse would be going through a hard time and i understand that, but forgiveness is such a beautiful thing because it removes all bitterness and anger and truly pictures the gospel of Jesus Christ in one finding immediate forgiveness though they have "spiritually cheated" on Christ. it is truly just a wonderful thing when the Lord patches a fallen marriage back together
@notdeceived Very well-said. I feel for people who listen to well-meaning advice from other Christians that if you pray & do this or that then God will restore your marriage. Sometimes a marriage CAN be restored but there are times I have seen fellow Christians pray & do everything right yet still have to leave. I think if people are not prepared for that reality, then it can do alot of damage to one's faith & cause alot of anger towards God.
@notdeceived What I meant about listening to well-meaning advice in the last post was not a criticism on the advice itself but about the people who listen to that advice, take it to heart but yet their situations don't change or don't turn out the way they expected. I didn't wont anyone to think I was criticizing the advice itself.
@notdeceived forgive him wow I would have such a hard time to forgive him alone without having to stay in the marriage on top of it...He has already put me through hell and back in our lives no adultury but a whole lot of neglect when home on the blackberry if he is ever home b4 my kids go to bed...driving us to the brink financially again and again...if he did that on top of it no way, no way, no way, would I put up with it, would be the last straw for me!
@notdeceived You underestimate the power of forgiveness. A lifetime of bitterness and misery? I would say that is the problem. The only thing that breaks the marriage bond is choosing to divorce. Their is NO SUCH THING as irreconcilable differences, only hardness of heart. Divorce is an ultimate act of unforgiveness. Forgiveness means no longer holding on to a debt. If someone truly repents, forgive them. It is never totally just one person's fault. Make changes not divorce.
It is to the point where I feel I can only move on by being with someone else, then going back to him. Just a mess aren't I? Yeah, you are right, I am messed up and in a too much pain. I have no one to talk to either because he will not hear it. Kind of suffering in silence. I do not know what to do with myself. All we do is argue. It is hard to let go, but a huge part of me wants to and wishes I did not love him. I just want to forgive... the rest will be whatever it will be....
@kweencessX I would love to be your friend that you can talk to. I can understand your problems from both sides. We will never share names as so to never be in danger of anything inapproriate. I am a Christian first and foremost. I have been a minister since I was 18. I am struggling too, but God is changing me so much through this. I am truly becoming a better man. I literally looked in the mirror in the past months and said "I hate you". Now, I like this guy in the mirror.
@kodkid Your an Adulterer dude, you will forever be a cheater, if you can't be loyal to god? than you can't be loyal to anyone. Go read your bible it tells you to stone Adulterers. In the the bible Moses found one of his right hand man committing adultery he and the woman were both stoned.
I have just recently confessed infidelity with my wife. I am wanting so bad for my marriage to survive. We are both christians and speaking for myself, I have turned it over to the Lord. I have begun a program called Overcomers at Home. It's offered through Pure Life Ministries. I am praying every day that God will heal me and our marriage. I would love to just have prayers. God says where two or more are gathered in his name, he's there.
@managemusiq Why cheat in the first place? I am SO tired of people saying it was a mistake, a mistake, a mistake. NO! NOOOO! You have completely disrespected her! Destroyed the trust! You decided to LEAVE her! This makes me SO angry. I am praying for her, your wife, because I am going through something similar. We are not married, but after a few years together, he had a one night stand. I honestly hope she does forgive you, but for her, not you. I hope she has the strength to leave you too.
@kweencessX I am glad to see that you are perfect and have never made a mistake but for the rest of us... Well, we are not perfect like you are and therefore, Christ came for our mistakes and beleive me sometimes we make very poor desicion and regret them. Regret and guilt is something that you have never expierenced since you have never made a mistake but beleive me it is awful. Yes, he disrespected her, his kids, God, his vows and even himself. But look at him now! A changed man. God is good!
@kodkid - Adultery is grounds for divorce. You can forgive, but no where in the Bible does it say one SHOULD go back, or is obligated to go back. Cheating on someone is the most disrespectful and hurtful thing you can do to your partner. Everyone who cheats knowing full well their actions will hurt their partner is selfish and inconsiderate. No one deserves someone like that in their life. This pain will last me my whole lifetime, I know it. I am trying to forgive him, but I do not know...
@kodkid - ...if I can "forget." Unless someone hits me over the head with a baseball bat, it is impossible to forget, for any HUMAN being, not just me. Yes, God is Good, he is a changed man; but neither you or her or even he knows if it will last. If you did it once, you can do it again, easily. Like he did not know it was wrong the first time. Look, I know for sure I will never cheat and I damn well deserve someone who will not cheat on me. I will forgive, but taking them back is another story.
@kweencessX I feel sorry for you because I know that I fear God more than anything a human being can ever do to me. I never had a relationship with God therefore, I never fear him. It is not true if you cheated it does not mean you will again. Haven't you ever done something wrong and not repeated it again.
@kodkid - Now, pass your judgement all you like. No where in my comment did I say I am perfect, everyone is a sinner, and all sins are equal in the eyes of the Lord, but I would rather he had told a white lie than cheat on me; it wouldn't have hurt as much. I am scarred, confused, lost. I feel as though I am being forced to go back to him because a good Christian "forgives and forgets..." Well I am sorry, atm I do not have the strength. The pain is overwhelming. Take care.
I needed to hear this. I needed this prayer. I am a victim of adultery. It hurts. I thank you so much for sharing your honesty and your testimony because my marriage right now is gone, but the Lord used you to reveal I am not the only one hurting even though it feels like it. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I was the adulterer. I paid a vey heavy price and continue to do so. It wasn't worth it. Only God Himself is worth so much pain. He sent people to make me stop and I shunned them. How can I forgive myself when the consequences of my sin are always before me?
Chris I think your segment on feeling broken vs. shame can cover all burdens we carry according to human fallibility. I watched this because I am working on forgiveness, but realize that there is shame that I have been carrying from other relationships in my life. I got the peace of mind that I came for, and leaving with more. Thank you all.
My husband cheated on me with my own daughter. It had been going on for five years. When I figured it out, I was so devastated. I was watching my grandaughters at this time and I realized that I had to forgive. It was hard to look at the both of them at this time. If I didn't forgive, they would have been lost as Christians. So, my forgiveness kept them on God's path. I am still not well...but I loved your video cause I could relate so well. Thank you! Katherine
these people are full of shit, if a person committs adultery? he is cheating god, and he will cheat everything that will follow.
TheLandOfTears 1 month ago
i'd fuck her
FUwogs 2 months ago
fuck that shit marriage is like private property a bullshit to limit our freedom and well being as human, let us all shit on that system that sucks!!!!!!!! enough is enough.
muabnegief 3 months ago
Wow. I'm not particularly religious, and certainly not religious in the sense that these people are, but I really like this video.
EyeLean5280 6 months ago
I had a friend who insisted it is immoral to confess adultery to one's spouse. He said it's extremely selfish to relieve your guilt that way - you've committed adultery, you must bear the guilt yourself and not punish your innocent spouse by confession. If you can't live with yourself, the thing to do is *stop* the adultery, not burden your partner with knowledge of it.
EyeLean5280 6 months ago
bollocks!
sooper2dooper3 7 months ago
@kweencessX Watchman Nee wrote that God permits divorce for the cause of adultery and the Church should not should stand in the way of such divorces. Adultery breaks the marriage bond and, as this couple said, if the adulterer is not broken, the marriage won't heal. If the unfaithful spouse is not repentant, the marriage will be miserable.
notdeceived 7 months ago
Is this woman okay in her head? I think not. I am sorry, but what she says from 4:15 - 4:30 made me laugh. I am sorry, but honey, didn't this man CHEAT ON YOU?! And he wants to make your marriage better? Smh. And what she says about "who in the world she is with-hold forgiveness..." HE CHEATED ON YOU! HE IS NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT! THAT IS WHY YOU ARE MARRIED! Man... they both need to shut up.
kweencessX 1 year ago
@kweencessX You must be very young. You do not have the first clue. I actually feel sorry for you.
kodkid 8 months ago
@kodkid - Please explain...
kweencessX 8 months ago
@kweencessX You said "Is she ok in the head?" so your only answer for infidelity is divorce? That is very immature. I do think there are times when divorce might be the only answer. But for many the marriage is actually better than before. The issues that were there have been dealt with and a lot of good can come of it.
kodkid 8 months ago
@kodkid - For many? Where exactly are the statistics to prove this claim you are making? The truth is, many marriages actually end due to infidelity. Divorce is the only option for the majority. Have you ever been cheated on, or are YOU the one who cheated? You are too optimistic in viewing human beings. The truth is, people are assholes, selfish by nature, and very few ever change, even when they want to. I am glad that their marriage is "better" but why did it have to come from infidelity?
kweencessX 8 months ago
@kweencessX over 90% of marriages that survive infidelity do not end in divorce. But there are some things you must understand. Right now you sound VERY VERY hurt and wounded. And you CAN NOT forgive them within yourself. It will take time...maybe years for you to be able to forgive. Just remember God hates divorce. just because he allows it doesn't mean he likes it. For those marriages those are the ones that make a commetment to fixing what was broke.
kodkid 8 months ago
@kweencessX Yes, I too was selfish in my marriage. My infedelity was emotional and so was my wifes. Hers came after mine. After I kissed another woman I felt more guilt and shame than I could handle and feel into a vicious pit for about a year and felt she deserved something better and pushed her away during this time. Cheating carries a very heavy burden. But once both get free from it both realize I DON'T EVER WANT TO GET EVEN CLOSE TO THAT AGAIN!
kodkid 8 months ago
@kodkid - I just hate when the cheater makes it all about them. It is not all about you, in fact, it should not be about you at all until I say it can be. The way he restricts me from speaking about it because it hurts him, lol, like I want to feel the way I feel. I don't know. It's whatever. 8 months down the line I still cry daily and the pain seems to not be going away. Our circumstances are even more complicated. I don't know. It's whatever...
kweencessX 8 months ago
Well meaning Christians often underestimate the spiritual damage done by adultery, that it breaks the marriage bond. They then equate forgiveness with staying married. But one can forgive and still divorce. Often divorce is the most merciful choice; better than a lifetime of bitterness and misery.
notdeceived 7 months ago 8
@notdeceived its understandable that a spouse would be going through a hard time and i understand that, but forgiveness is such a beautiful thing because it removes all bitterness and anger and truly pictures the gospel of Jesus Christ in one finding immediate forgiveness though they have "spiritually cheated" on Christ. it is truly just a wonderful thing when the Lord patches a fallen marriage back together
GodLovesUs100 2 months ago
@notdeceived Very well-said. I feel for people who listen to well-meaning advice from other Christians that if you pray & do this or that then God will restore your marriage. Sometimes a marriage CAN be restored but there are times I have seen fellow Christians pray & do everything right yet still have to leave. I think if people are not prepared for that reality, then it can do alot of damage to one's faith & cause alot of anger towards God.
auntstacey123 2 months ago
@notdeceived What I meant about listening to well-meaning advice in the last post was not a criticism on the advice itself but about the people who listen to that advice, take it to heart but yet their situations don't change or don't turn out the way they expected. I didn't wont anyone to think I was criticizing the advice itself.
auntstacey123 2 months ago
@notdeceived forgive him wow I would have such a hard time to forgive him alone without having to stay in the marriage on top of it...He has already put me through hell and back in our lives no adultury but a whole lot of neglect when home on the blackberry if he is ever home b4 my kids go to bed...driving us to the brink financially again and again...if he did that on top of it no way, no way, no way, would I put up with it, would be the last straw for me!
lucy9359 1 month ago
@notdeceived You underestimate the power of forgiveness. A lifetime of bitterness and misery? I would say that is the problem. The only thing that breaks the marriage bond is choosing to divorce. Their is NO SUCH THING as irreconcilable differences, only hardness of heart. Divorce is an ultimate act of unforgiveness. Forgiveness means no longer holding on to a debt. If someone truly repents, forgive them. It is never totally just one person's fault. Make changes not divorce.
jamieseiple 3 weeks ago
It is to the point where I feel I can only move on by being with someone else, then going back to him. Just a mess aren't I? Yeah, you are right, I am messed up and in a too much pain. I have no one to talk to either because he will not hear it. Kind of suffering in silence. I do not know what to do with myself. All we do is argue. It is hard to let go, but a huge part of me wants to and wishes I did not love him. I just want to forgive... the rest will be whatever it will be....
kweencessX 8 months ago
@kweencessX I would love to be your friend that you can talk to. I can understand your problems from both sides. We will never share names as so to never be in danger of anything inapproriate. I am a Christian first and foremost. I have been a minister since I was 18. I am struggling too, but God is changing me so much through this. I am truly becoming a better man. I literally looked in the mirror in the past months and said "I hate you". Now, I like this guy in the mirror.
kodkid 8 months ago
@kodkid - I will send you a personal/direct message. Thank you.
kweencessX 8 months ago
@kodkid Your an Adulterer dude, you will forever be a cheater, if you can't be loyal to god? than you can't be loyal to anyone. Go read your bible it tells you to stone Adulterers. In the the bible Moses found one of his right hand man committing adultery he and the woman were both stoned.
TheLandOfTears 1 month ago
I have just recently confessed infidelity with my wife. I am wanting so bad for my marriage to survive. We are both christians and speaking for myself, I have turned it over to the Lord. I have begun a program called Overcomers at Home. It's offered through Pure Life Ministries. I am praying every day that God will heal me and our marriage. I would love to just have prayers. God says where two or more are gathered in his name, he's there.
managemusiq 1 year ago
@managemusiq Why cheat in the first place? I am SO tired of people saying it was a mistake, a mistake, a mistake. NO! NOOOO! You have completely disrespected her! Destroyed the trust! You decided to LEAVE her! This makes me SO angry. I am praying for her, your wife, because I am going through something similar. We are not married, but after a few years together, he had a one night stand. I honestly hope she does forgive you, but for her, not you. I hope she has the strength to leave you too.
kweencessX 1 year ago
@kweencessX I am glad to see that you are perfect and have never made a mistake but for the rest of us... Well, we are not perfect like you are and therefore, Christ came for our mistakes and beleive me sometimes we make very poor desicion and regret them. Regret and guilt is something that you have never expierenced since you have never made a mistake but beleive me it is awful. Yes, he disrespected her, his kids, God, his vows and even himself. But look at him now! A changed man. God is good!
kodkid 8 months ago
@kodkid - Adultery is grounds for divorce. You can forgive, but no where in the Bible does it say one SHOULD go back, or is obligated to go back. Cheating on someone is the most disrespectful and hurtful thing you can do to your partner. Everyone who cheats knowing full well their actions will hurt their partner is selfish and inconsiderate. No one deserves someone like that in their life. This pain will last me my whole lifetime, I know it. I am trying to forgive him, but I do not know...
kweencessX 8 months ago
@kodkid - ...if I can "forget." Unless someone hits me over the head with a baseball bat, it is impossible to forget, for any HUMAN being, not just me. Yes, God is Good, he is a changed man; but neither you or her or even he knows if it will last. If you did it once, you can do it again, easily. Like he did not know it was wrong the first time. Look, I know for sure I will never cheat and I damn well deserve someone who will not cheat on me. I will forgive, but taking them back is another story.
kweencessX 8 months ago
@kweencessX I feel sorry for you because I know that I fear God more than anything a human being can ever do to me. I never had a relationship with God therefore, I never fear him. It is not true if you cheated it does not mean you will again. Haven't you ever done something wrong and not repeated it again.
esaldana41 2 months ago
@kodkid - Now, pass your judgement all you like. No where in my comment did I say I am perfect, everyone is a sinner, and all sins are equal in the eyes of the Lord, but I would rather he had told a white lie than cheat on me; it wouldn't have hurt as much. I am scarred, confused, lost. I feel as though I am being forced to go back to him because a good Christian "forgives and forgets..." Well I am sorry, atm I do not have the strength. The pain is overwhelming. Take care.
kweencessX 8 months ago
I needed to hear this. I needed this prayer. I am a victim of adultery. It hurts. I thank you so much for sharing your honesty and your testimony because my marriage right now is gone, but the Lord used you to reveal I am not the only one hurting even though it feels like it. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
strouk91 1 year ago
I was the adulterer. I paid a vey heavy price and continue to do so. It wasn't worth it. Only God Himself is worth so much pain. He sent people to make me stop and I shunned them. How can I forgive myself when the consequences of my sin are always before me?
semper1790 1 year ago
Chris I think your segment on feeling broken vs. shame can cover all burdens we carry according to human fallibility. I watched this because I am working on forgiveness, but realize that there is shame that I have been carrying from other relationships in my life. I got the peace of mind that I came for, and leaving with more. Thank you all.
BlueGuru11 1 year ago
Comment removed
louistr 1 year ago
My husband cheated on me with my own daughter. It had been going on for five years. When I figured it out, I was so devastated. I was watching my grandaughters at this time and I realized that I had to forgive. It was hard to look at the both of them at this time. If I didn't forgive, they would have been lost as Christians. So, my forgiveness kept them on God's path. I am still not well...but I loved your video cause I could relate so well. Thank you! Katherine
DANZECCA 2 years ago